Spare Wheel
by C0ldSteel
Summary: The Doctor finally takes Jack traveling with him. They are joined by the Master, Jack's brother Gray and others, but someone always seems left out. Slash content, lemon-lime. Spoilers for DW, Torchwood and Firefly; crossover-ish Jack/Doctor and other pairings
1. Facing the End

_Rating may seem high for the first chapter, but things are likely to get messy later on, so I thought I'd be safe. There will be slash-not sure to what degree yet.  
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_Serious spoilers for Doctor Who. It will cross over with Torchwood and eventually Firefly (I know, wth, right?). If you're not familiar with Firefly/Serenity, it shouldn't make much difference.  
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_**Important note:** If you did not read my story "Saw You Next Year" there are some details here that will not make sense to you. You can probably still enjoy this story without reading the other, though. If you DID read SYNY, this first chapter is a sort of alternate ending for it. This opening makes it so that we keep Ten instead of getting 11. If you are interested, you may like comparing the two versions._

_One more note: I had help writing this first scene, as I did with writing the regeneration scene and some other little parts in SYNY that were direct translations of the DW show. My helper/beta wishes to remain anonymous, but I wanted to give some credit.  
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><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

One: Facing The End

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><p>"You had to go and get stuck—oh, yes! 'Cause that's who you are, Wilfred. You were always this. Waiting for me, all this time."<p>

"No, really—just leave me," Wilfred protested quietly. "I'm an old man, Doctor. I've had my time."

"Well, exactly, look at you: Not remotely important! But me… I could do so much more! _So much more!"_ the Doctor cried. He didn't know if he was shouting at the Ood and their stupid prediction, or at God or at Wilfred. It didn't matter. It was the truth. "But this is what I get," he went on bitterly. "My reward. WELL, IT'S NOT FAIR!"

He knocked some things off the desk nearby—papers, some other things he couldn't even see clearly for the blur in his eyes. He stood a moment, collecting himself. These hysterics didn't become him. "Oh, well," he whispered on a shaky breath. "Lived too long." He stepped toward the glass case.

"No," Wilfred said. "No, no, please, don't. No, don't—don't! _Please, don't!"_ He protested more urgently as the Doctor got closer. _"Please…"_

"Wilfred," the Doctor said quietly, looking his friend in the eye, "it's my honor." One moment more, then— "Better be quick…" _This is the end. Don't think about it now; just make him safe._

"Stop!" Wilfred said in a commanding tone that brought the Doctor up short. "Just think about this one moment! In all your travels in all the planets and galaxies and times you've been to, you've met hundreds of people. You've got all these friends…"

"I'm not more important to them than you are to your family," the Doctor said, not allowing himself to be distracted.

"That's not what I'm saying," Wilfred answered quickly. "It's just that you've got a bloody time machine. Can't you whiz away and come back with someone who can solve this problem?"

"There's no one left…" He tried to keep them from his mind, but his friend's faces presented themselves one at a time: Rose, Donna, the Master; anyone he could think of that might be able to help was beyond his reach. "I played all my cards this last time, Wilfred. They're all in the hole, now."

"There's got to be someone! Anyone you haven't heard from. Think!"

Well, there was one person. The person the Doctor had just argued with. Had just sworn at in his native tongue. Had felt intense loathing for. Had been despicably used by.

_Why didn't Jack show up anyway? Was Torchwood all turned into part of the Master race? Was there some other trouble he had to deal with? Where the hell is he?_

"There's no time to fetch him…"

"Try!" Wilfred insisted. "I'd rather gamble my life than yours—try!"

It was a wild idea. It would never work. He couldn't get his hopes up… The Doctor scanned the room. His eyes came to rest on one of the items he'd knocked off the desk: A cell phone.

He ran to pick it up and opened the battery pack. "Jiggery pokery," he muttered quietly as he worked with his sonic screwdriver. Then he opened the phone and dialed. "Come on, come on, come on…"

"This is Torchwood," came a breathless voice. "Who's calling?"

"Jack, it's me," the Doctor exclaimed. "If there's any way you can get down here, I need you."

"Give me the sequence to reactivate my vortex manipulator and I'll be there in two seconds."

He hadn't asked any questions. He hadn't mentioned the status of his team. He'd just agreed.

"All right, but Jack… I'll need you to die for me."

Without pause, Jack answered, "It would be my pleasure, Doctor."

Knowing he hadn't a moment to lose, the Doctor gave Jack the information he needed.

"Good friend, that," Wilfred commented. He seemed to be trying to keep the mood light. No doubt it was a reaction of nerves.

A moment later, Jack appeared, hand on his wrist. "OK, what's the plan?" he asked.

The Doctor didn't waste any time. "Only way to get Wilfred out is for you to go into this side, push that, and it'll open his door and close yours."

"Simple enough."

"And then you'll get hit by five hundred thousand rads."

"That's a lot," Jack said, reaching for the door.

The Doctor put a hand on his arm to stop him. "It's a hell of a lot more than you were exposed to at the end of the universe. And it'll all hit you at once. You're going to die in agony."

Jack nodded. "I get it. Let's go."

"W-wait a minute," Wilfred started.

"What was your name—Wilfred? Shut up, Wilfred. Let's do this."

Jack pulled open the door, stepped inside and pressed the button. Wilfred's door opened and Jack's closed. Jack was bathed in a red glow and he immediately began to writhe in pain.

Wilfred stepped back, watching in mute horror. Tears blinded the Doctor as he saw Jack begin to bleed from his nose, his mouth, then his ears…

Jack fell against the side of the chamber and immediately began bleeding from the points that came in contact with the glass. His groans of pain had become so horrible that the Doctor wanted to cover his ears. But he made himself listen and didn't turn away.

_I did this to him. He's just a human—he can't withstand it. I would have been able to take it in one go, but Jack…_

Jack lay very still.

Wilfred looked up at the Doctor. "Is he gone?"

"Just wait," the Doctor said quietly.

They stood and waited. And waited.

"He's got to be dead now, Doctor," Wilfred said at last.

"Yes," the Doctor agreed. "He is dead. And it's taking him longer than usual to revive."

Wilfred didn't have an answer for that.

"You see, his body's trying to come back," the Doctor explained, "but the radiation's keeping it at bay. He won't revive until he's absorbed it all."

"And, ah… then he'll be all right, will he?"

The Doctor clenched his jaw. _I hope so. Dear God, I hope so. Come on, Jack._

It seemed an eternity. Then, suddenly, the lights in both sides of the chamber went out. The machine was quiet.

Wilfred leaned in, staring at Jack's form.

The Doctor watched too, holding his breath until he saw Jack's hand twitch. Then he heard the loud gasp that announced Jack's return to the land of the living.

Wilfred caught his breath in a relieved laugh as Jack sat up. "Hullo," he said.

"Hi," Jack rasped.

"Still with us?" asked Wilfred.

Jack got to his feet. "System's dead," he observed.

"You absorbed it all," explained the Doctor. "Whole thing's kaput."

Jack nudged the door and it creaked open.

"Oh, now it opens, yeah," the Doctor said sarcastically.

"Well, here we are, then," Wilfred concluded. "Safe and sound. Mind you, you're in a hell of a state," he added, pointing at the Doctor. "You've got some battle scars there."

"Mm…" the Doctor reached up to run his hands over his sore and bleeding face.

"You look the worse for wear, too," Wilfred told Jack.

Jack looked down at his bloodstained shirt. "Oh, I'm not hurt. This shirt's ruined, though." He began taking it off.

"Time and place," the Doctor muttered, opening his eyes again.

"This happens to be a selfless act," Jack protested. He took the cleaner sleeve and held it up to the Doctor's face to wipe the blood away.

"I'm all right. I should go. We've all got things to do, now," the Doctor said quietly. He turned to say goodbye to Wilfred and found the old man folding him into a tight hug. He waited.

"Do I get one?" Jack inquired.

Wilfred laughed through his distress and turned to Jack. "Oh, why not? Come on."

"I meant him," Jack laughed, "but I'll take a hug from anyone."

The Doctor backed away from the others as they embraced. Then he turned and took purposeful steps.

"Doctor," he heard Jack call after him, but he didn't stop.

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><p>He had done something for each of his friends—he'd even found Jack in a galactic space bar and tacitly introduced him to a new bedfellow. And now it was time to go back. Or rather, forward.<p>

Back to the time after he and Jack had argued and after the great adventure they'd had together. The day he knew Jack would be waiting for him, to see if he'd be forgiven.

The Tardis seemed to know exactly when and where they were headed. The controls spun and danced under his fingers. Then everything became still, and the Doctor crept to the door.

"Perfect landing," he said quietly. It might be too good to be true. He pulled open the doors to see that he was indeed in Cardiff, right by the Torchwood base. "Knew right where we were going, didn't you, old thing," he said, stroking one blue door. Then he looked up and saw the familiar figure in the long captain's coat. "Jack."

Jack walked toward him, searching his eyes. "You came back."

"Of course I did. It's over now. The Master and the Timelords are all gone again. Game over."

"Doctor," Jack said in a strained voice as he closed the space between them, "I… I'm so sorry…"

"Shh," the Doctor interrupted him. "Shush, shush, shush. You know I've already forgiven you or I wouldn't be here." He held out a hand.

Jack bypassed the hand and wrapped the Doctor in his arms. "I didn't mean to hurt you like that—you're my best friend," Jack sobbed. "I hate myself for it."

"Always talking about yourself, Jack. You haven't changed a bit," the Doctor chided. But his voice was soft, and he moved his hands up to hold Jack in a gentle embrace. "You're forgiven. You don't need to go on apologizing. Anyway," he added, "you said you wanted to take it back the moment I left, and I know it's true, because I had Martin spy on you. Don't be cross with Martin. He did it for your own good."

Jack tightened his grip. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"Speaking of seeing again, there's Mary Burrows," the Doctor commented.

Once again, this person was observing the two of them embracing by the blue box. She arched an eyebrow at them when she knew she'd been spotted, and she looked as if she wanted to laugh but wasn't sure it would be appropriate.

Jack released his death-grip on the Doctor and stepped back slowly, wiping the half-dried tears off his face. "No one's in the hub, Mary," he called to her.

"Well, I just came to drop this off," she answered, walking toward them and holding out a file folder to Jack. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he assured her. "I'm fine. Great."

"And you?" she asked, nodding at the Doctor's scratched face.

"Excellent," the Doctor replied.

Her concern satisfied far more than her curiosity, Mary left them.

"Nice woman," the Doctor commented. "Now… once the Tardis has gathered some rift energy, do you think you'd like to come along with me?"

A fresh wave of shock crossed Jack's face. "I… I don't know. I thought…. How long do you think it will be?"

"A few hours, maybe? I could wait until tomorrow. Give you a chance to set things in order and say your goodbyes."

Jack licked his lips. "Doctor—I love you," he said, and judging by his poker face and rigid stature, he was bracing himself for an explosive reaction.

"I've always known that, Jack," the Doctor said in a tired voice. "I'm terribly sorry about it. It will make things awkward and difficult, to be sure..." _Why did he have to put it into words? It would have been so much easier if we could have gone on pretending…_ "but I think I can bear up if you can," he said in grim resignation. "And—I've got a cryogenic freezer in the Tardis now. So either way, I'll be taking the Master."

Jack's head snapped up at that, and the Doctor was quite sure what his answer would be.

"Is there room for Gray in that freezer, too?"

"Oh, yes. Plenty."

Jack nodded. "Then I guess…" he hesitated, looking at the folder Mary had given him.

"If you're worried about your team," the Doctor said casually, "I think I have a solution."

He pulled an object from his coat pocket and tossed it to Jack: the puzzle the he had given to Steven Carter so many years ago.

"They can get hold of us in the Tardis any time, any place with that one-use distress call." The Doctor smiled. "Come on—I'm your 'best friend.' How about it?"

Jack closed his hand around the puzzle. "I'm in."

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><p><em>So, the adventure begins. I have a million ideas; I just hope I can organize them and keep from wandering in pointless plot circles. :p Please tell me what you think so far.<br>_


	2. Affection

_This chapter gets a little sticky, so if this one bothers you, you can be sure you probably won't like the rest of the story very well. (iow: turn back now.)_

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><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Two: Affection

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><p>"Where to first?" Jack asked. He'd moved a few of his things into the Tardis after he left Torchwood in the capable hands of his second-in-command. The Tardis was bursting with energy and Gray was safely tucked away in a cryogen freezer next to the Master.<p>

The Doctor wandered around the center of the control room, spinning a dial here, flipping a switch there. "Think we'll just orbit Jupiter for a bit."

Jack blinked. "What for?"

"Give us a chance to get used to each other. Settle in."

"I think it'll be a whole lot less awkward if we get used to each other in the thick of things."

The Doctor shook his head. "I want to know I can rely on you, first. I want to know how you think and what your opinions and sympathies are."

"You want to know if I'll be a loose cannon," Jack concluded.

"Well…" the Doctor hesitated. "Yes," he admitted. "But I also want to show you a few things about the Tardis, so you can help me pilot it if necessary."

Jack smiled. "That sounds like fun. I remember a lot about it, but I'm sure it's just a small percentage of what there is to know."

"Exactly, exactly," the Doctor agreed. "A very long time ago, I had a notebook just full of codes and instructions for reading and working the instruments and how to make repairs and all."

"What happened to it?"

"Lost it on Earth around a hundred-thousand BC."

"Damn."

"Yes. Useless to anyone there, of course—they hadn't developed a written language yet, and even if they had, they couldn't read Gallifreyan."

"So, is that why you have so much trouble with the Tardis now?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow in mischief.

The Doctor frowned at him. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Nothing," Jack said, grinning openly.

"Maybe I'm still a little rusty on some of the techniques about piloting, but I think I've managed quite well, thank you."

"All right," Jack said with a laugh. "You do fine. Where should we start?"

"Before we do, I wanted to thank you—I left quite abruptly after you saved Wilfred from the radiation tank."

"Oh…" It took Jack a while to realize why the Doctor was bringing that up now. "Right. You just did that. It was twenty-something years ago for me."

"I know. For me, it just happened. It was dreadful to see you like that, knowing it was meant to be me."

"Well, you're welcome. I'd do it again."

"And as for the row we had two years ago, I'm sorry I swore at you."

"Did you? I didn't understand what you said."

"I know. But I'm afraid I did. Rather badly."

Jack couldn't help smiling. "Well, the Tardis didn't translate it. No harm done."

The Doctor shook off his sheepish look. "Right. Down to business." He crouched down beside the main control panel and reached up underneath. "Look: this is the dimensional mechanism. Whatever poking around you do, don't ever dislodge this. If it becomes disconnected, we will instantly be in a world of trouble."

"What would happen?" Jack asked curiously, crouching beside the Doctor to get a good look.

"Any number of things could happen. But the two most likely—one, the Tardis could shrink down so that it's _not_ bigger on the inside. We might be trapped in a very small police box with a set of controls so small our bumbling fingers couldn't work them. Two, the Tardis could grow outwards so that it's not smaller on the outside, and all its rooms and corridors could be spread out over the landscape and the outside disguise shattered beyond repair."

Jack whistled in healthy appreciation of the danger. "I'll definitely be careful of that."

"You know, it's nice to have someone who doesn't just nod vacantly and pretend to know what I'm talking about. You've got enough experience with this sort of equipment that you may be the most competent companion I've had in ages."

Jack smirked proudly under the Doctor's praise. "Finally, someone recognizes my talents."

"Don't let it go to your head."

They spent some hours going over the important hardware of the Tardis' construction before Jack interrupted.

"Not to cramp your style or anything, but I'm feeling kind of hungry. Do you keep food in here?"

"Didn't know you needed to eat," the Doctor said with a superior look.

"Actually, I do," Jack confirmed. "It would take me a lot longer than it would an ordinary human, but I could starve to death."

"And you know this because…?"

"I did once. It's not something I enjoy talking about. Do you eat?"

"Of course I eat," the Doctor laughed.

"Well, I know you can, but it seems like you hardly ever do."

"I had pizza at Torchwood once, remember?"

"Yeah." Jack thought back over the years, trying to remember another instance of the Doctor eating. "Every time we ate out we seemed to get interrupted before you ever took a bite."

"I've drunk tea, Rose and I had chips once," the Doctor said, counting off on his fingers. "You know I like bananas, I made it clear to Martha that I hate pears, Donna fed me all manner of strange things when I was poisoned… surely the human world must know by now that I eat."

"All right; so, what is there to eat around here?"

"Whatever you like."

"You don't strike me as the chef type."

The Doctor drew himself up to his full height. "Doubting my skills? Go on then, what do you want?"

"Artichoke soufflé," Jack said, naming one of his favorite dishes popular in the 51st century.

"Oh….kay," the Doctor said, obviously not familiar with the dish. "Just you wait a minute." He went to the next room.

"Do you want any help?" Jack called, grinning.

"No—I'm sure I can figure it out. I'll just be a moment."

Jack heard a few strange noises and then the sound of a small door being opened and shut.

"Try this," the Doctor said, coming back into the room and holding out a small, foil-wrapped cube to Jack.

Jack eyed the cube with suspicion before taking it and unwrapping it. "You're sure this is edible?"

"Of course."

Jack took a bite. The food was warm and just the consistency Jack was used to. He could taste the artichoke, egg, cheese and onion flavor. Once he swallowed, he felt as if he'd eaten ten bites.

"Well?" the Doctor asked, not sounding quite as confident as before.

Jack shook his head. "I admit: I'm impressed. How did you make this in only a few seconds?"

"Simple process, really," the Doctor replied, back to his superior tone. "Matter of mashing the right buttons. I'll show you how to make anything you like. Now, if we're going to spend a lot of time together, I think we'd better know a bit more about each other's culture, don't you think?"

"Sure," Jack said. He took another bite. "What do you want to know?"

"Is it polite in the 51st century to talk with your mouth full?"

Jack swallowed. "Eh, not really, but anyone who goes far out of their way for manners is just trying to get laid."

"I thought that was a given anyway," the Doctor muttered. "Are most people as adventurous in their relationships as you are?"

"What, you mean orientation? It's a pretty good mix. Most people will assume you're bi if you don't state otherwise. I'm omni. It's not uncommon, but it's still less popular."

"What's the least common?"

"Homo. It's considered very narrow-minded. Hetter is a close second in the unpopularity poll."

"I think I ought to stay out of your century."

Jack grinned. "Oh, they're pretty forgiving, especially of strangers and other species."

"What's legal age?"

"Twenty."

"It's gone up?"

"Well, kids over fourteen within four years of each other can legally sleep together—for other people they have to have permission from their parents or be independent of them."

"Fourteen!"

"Kids were marrying younger than that in Ancient Egypt. What's the difference?"

The Doctor frowned. "I suppose it's the maturity level. They're children."

"They gotta learn sometime. And everyone's well educated. STDs are pretty rare."

"And does marriage still exist?"

"Oh, yeah. It's making a comeback, actually. But only religious people call it marriage. Most people call it joining."

"Joining," the Doctor repeated. He smiled a little. "My true love, will you join me?"

Jack laughed. "Pretty much. And I accept."

The Doctor's smile disappeared. "Oh, come off it."

"How about your culture, Doctor? How old do people marry on Gallifrey?"

"It's very different. It's not age so much as maturity. If a young person wants to marry, they have to get approval from the elders."

"Oh, I probably wouldn't have done well there," Jack said. He put the last of the food in his mouth.

"My own granddaughter was still in her teens when she fell in love…"

Jack choked. "Your who?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "You _know_ I'm over nine hundred—what makes you think I shouldn't have grandchildren by now?"

"Well, sure," Jack sputtered, trying to catch crumbs that flew from his mouth. "I mean, I knew you had kids… but grandkids. That's just weird."

"What's weird about it? You've got a grandson." The Doctor crossed his arms and tapped the toe of his Converse.

"Um…" Jack smiled. _Dang, he's cute._ "Sorry, I just never thought about it. What happened to her? This granddaughter of yours?"

The Doctor turned away slowly, in a way that made Jack think he was trying to hide something.

"Oh, she settled down. Had a good life. I saw her from time to time when she got older. She turned into a fine woman."

Jack wanted to ask more, but he decided against it. Maybe another time. He realized then that his mouth was dry from eating. "Hey, do you have water?"

"Nothing's easier," the Doctor answered with his usual cheerfulness. "Be right back."

Soon he returned with a plastic package of water.

Jack raised an eyebrow at the Doctor.

"Just bite the end open," the Doctor instructed.

"Okay." Jack did as he was told and sucked water from the package. "That's good; thanks. So, do you call those rations 'square meals?'"

"Very funny. Come on and I'll show you how to get it yourself."

Jack followed the Doctor to the next room where there was a machine that looked like a washing machine crossed with a juke box. Among the many dials and buttons was one labeled "water."

"You just press this button and this," the Doctor said, gesturing. "But do it this way if you want it in a glass. Understand?"

"Not really, but I'll give it a try."

After a few tries and only one mishap ("No, no, you dunce—that'll give you tonic water…") Jack was confident that he wouldn't need the Doctor's help getting water anymore.

"Making food is trickier," the Doctor told him. "You need to know what you want it to taste like and then what sorts of things you could use to get that taste, and then there's the nutrition factor and the texture and temperature… fortunately, the Tardis works out the hardest bits for you."

"Where does it come from?"

"Everywhere. The Tardis gathers energy and particles from every time and place I visit… it's a bit like photosynthesis, I suppose. But it can't generate food indefinitely. It needs time to build up its resources."

"It's incredible," Jack said. He wondered why the Doctor's explanation was turning him on. _Everything about him does, I guess._ "Doctor…" he started. He wanted to tell his friend how glad he was to be with him and get to learn so much about the Tardis. But he didn't want to spoil the moment by making the Doctor uncomfortable.

"What?"

"Uh, I was just wondering," Jack said carefully. "How do Timelords express affection?"

The Doctor was silent a long time; Jack was sure he'd chosen a poor time to bring up this topic.

"Do you think," the Doctor said at last, very slowly, "that you've never seen me express affection?"

"Oh, no," Jack answered. "I didn't mean that at all. I just want to know what's normal to you. And what you prefer. And what it was like on Gallifrey."

"Well, it's a big subject," the Doctor said. He went to a chair and lowered himself into it, as if he were old and frail. "We share some customs with humans. For instance, grasping the hand is a common greeting, while holding hands for an extended period implies an established relationship. Kissing the mouth indicates a romantic attraction. But there are a lot of differences, too."

"That's what I need to know, so I don't screw up."

"Okay. Let's start with family. Family members may or may not be very close, but they tend to be. They can show affection by holding hands, kissing the face, neck or hands, hugging, and occasionally tackling. But… that's usually between people who haven't seen each other for a long time."

"That's about the same as humans," Jack said with a smile.

"Most of it isn't considered very polite to do in public, but if you're subtle it's forgivable."

"Not polite to kiss your daughter in public?"

"It's not rude, exactly," the Doctor clarified. "It's just generally thought too personal to let strangers observe. Hugging you can usually do without annoying anyone, and holding hands is nearly always all right."

"Okay. So I should avoid tackling you in public. What else?"

"Friends have a similar range of displays of affection, though when greeting a close friend it's more usual to hug them and kiss their neck than to squeeze them half to death like humans are wont to."

Jack grinned. "Some people are just so squeezable."

"As for romantic lovers, they can of course do all of the above plus kissing on the mouth and… some other things. You don't really need to know that stuff, though."

_Don't I? Sounds really interesting…_ "Just because I don't need to doesn't mean I'm not curious."

"Remember the cat."

"Cat?"

"That died of curiosity."

"Oh, that. Sure. But hey, do you ever just tell someone you love them?"

The Doctor looked mystified. "Not really. I mean, it's not that Timelords never say 'I love you,' but they prefer showing to telling. In that way, they don't tend to be as confused and insecure as humans. If someone loves you, you ought to be able to see it without having to hear it."

Jack sat on the floor near the Doctor's chair. "Have you made many changes to the way you would normally treat people because you've been interacting with humans and not Timelords?"

"Some, yes. I'm a bit more reserved with humans. That's always safer anyway."

"Do Timelords have the same different orientations that humans do?"

"Um… not so much," the Doctor said, rubbing his chin in thought. "I've never met a strictly homosexual Timelord, though I suppose they may exist. I've met some that seemed to be bisexual. But most Timelords, if they're going to pair up with someone, it's going to be for life and they're going to want children, so most are straight, or at least end up with someone of the opposite gender. Sex isn't considered an end to itself nearly so much as it is to humans."

Jack opened his mouth to protest, but decided he didn't have a good argument to defend his species. "Well, you don't think that all gay people care about is sex, do you?" he said after a moment.

"No, I didn't say that," the Doctor answered in a defensive tone. "I just mean that Timelords have a higher emphasis on devotion and reproduction, and if you want both, you can't very well pair up with the same gender, can you?"

"There are other options for having kids."

"Yes, well… I suppose we're a bit traditional, too. It's not polite to talk about producing children artificially or abnormally, or through a surrogate."

"Sheesh, it all sounds so stuffy."

The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"You do enjoy it, right? I mean sex is a pleasant thing for Timelords?"

"Certainly, but it's also hard work. And it's…." the Doctor looked as if he were having a hard time finding words Jack would understand. "It's far too important to share with someone you're not completely devoted to."

"So, you don't have prostitutes."

"No market for them."

"And rape is unknown on Gallifrey?"

"Well… no, I'm afraid not. It is very rare, though, and punishments are severe. Usually forced regeneration is the penalty."

"Wow. That's kind of fitting, though—the rapist could get a new personality."

"Exactly. He might be a completely different person who will make better choices and be an asset in future."

They fell silent and Jack reflected on all the Doctor had told him. He certainly had a lot to think about now.

"You ready to learn more about the Tardis?" the Doctor asked casually.

"Sure," Jack agreed, getting to his feet. He was in a better mood than he'd enjoyed for a long time. _I actually had a conversation about sex __with the Doctor without it being awkward!_ he silently congratulated himself as they went back to the control room.

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><p><em>I don't know what comment to make after that except *snicker* Comments are welcome, but no flaming, please. You were warned, after all.<br>_


	3. Culture Shock

_If you are planning to watch Torchwood, this chapter has some MAJOR spoilers in it. Also contains an element from DW season 2 (1964-65), but nothing very important._

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><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Three: Culture Shock_  
><em>

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><p>When they paused for dinner, the Doctor said, "I've told you a lot about Timelord customs—supposing you tell me more about your culture? I've been to the 51st century, of course, but I usually just stop in for equipment or repairs."<p>

"A lot of the customs are similar to what they were in Rose's time," Jack answered, "but as I'm sure you noticed, people are a lot more open about nonconformities. Prejudice is considered foreign and vile. And people don't mind showing their affection openly in public."

"Is there still a rigid structure with degrees of love?" the Doctor asked. "Seems like humans are always in that awkward limbo where they can't tell if someone likes them or loves them, and they can't decide whether to admit their own feelings or not."

"Oh, there's still some of that. There probably always will be. The main problem is when you're friends with someone first, but you want to be their lover. You don't want to ruin the friendship by asking for something else."

The Doctor knew the conversation was moving precariously toward discussion of his own relationship with Jack, but he refused to show any anxiety. "How would you treat a friend differently from a lover?"

"Friends are basically lovers you don't sleep with."

"Thanks; that's helpful."

Jack laughed. "Okay, not really. But they can get a lot more intimate than friends in, say, the 21st century. For instance, in Rose's time, kissing both cheeks was a very European greeting—you didn't find it in America or Australia, or lots of other countries. In my time, you could find that all over—friends, family or lovers might do that—or not. In most of the Earth, platonic friends didn't hold hands back then, but in my time platonic friends of any gender often do. And have you heard the term 'sleep by?'"

"I'm not sure—maybe in passing."

"When someone says they've 'slept by' someone, it's not the same as saying they've slept _with_ someone."

"What's the difference?"

"Slept with means there was sex involved. Slept _by_ means they spent the night in the same room, probably the same bed, getting to know each other. Talking, probably touching, but sex is off-limits."

The Doctor was puzzled. "What's it for?"

"For?" Jack smiled. "It's just… it's a way to grow a friendship. It's also a common way to renew one after a bad argument."

"And it's strictly between friends?"

"No; family members or lovers might sleep by each other, too. It just depends on the situation. It's more popular in some regions than others, but pretty well-known everywhere."

"Hm. Interesting. And if you were in your own time, how would you greet an old friend you hadn't seen for years?"

"Depends on the friend. If we'd been platonic competitive buddies, I'd probably tackle him. If we'd been platonic serious confidants, I'd probably give him the never-ending hug routine. If we'd been facetious flirt-mates, I might pin him down and kiss him."

"So complicated," the Doctor muttered. "Do people express their affection in words very much?"

"Quite a bit. It's hard at first, but if the reaction's good it usually gets easier. And everyone likes to hear it now and then."

"If I showed up in your time, what would you do?"

Jack took a moment to consider. "Good strong hug, I guess. What would you do if I came to Gallifrey?"

"That would depend. I suppose I'd hug you. If anyone were there to see, I'd probably kiss your face."

"Wait—you'd kiss me if there _were_ someone watching?"

"Yes; to make it clear to them that you were important to me. You see, the Timelords have never taken kindly to strangers landing on Gallifrey. I'd want to establish my protection of you immediately, even if it weren't the most socially acceptable strategy."

"That makes sense." Jack finished eating his supper and leaned back against the wall. "Hey, you still haven't eaten anything."

The Doctor shrugged. "I'll eat tomorrow."

"Is this why you're so thin?"

"Nothing of the sort. My metabolism is just much more efficient than yours."

"Well, I'm sorry. Feed me something with a slow caloric release and maybe I can eat less often."

"Don't be silly. I'm used to my human companions needing to eat and sleep more often than I do."

"Okay." Jack smiled. "Say, where am I sleeping, anyway? That room we tossed my stuff in didn't have a bed."

"Oh, sorry—it's in the ceiling."

"In the ceiling?"

"Yes—you've got to pull it down. It's on a pulley system—not difficult to lower."

"Okay, I guess I'll be fine, then. And I was wondering: Have you decided when you want to revive the Master?"

"Thought I'd let you wake Gray first. One complication at a time, right?" The Doctor watched Jack's face. His friend seemed hesitant.

"Yeah, I guess that would be best. I just don't know what I'll do when he wakes up. He'll probably try to kill me again."

"I s'pose, but you've got to start somewhere." The Doctor thought back over their conversation. "You might tell him you love him."

"He doesn't want my love. He wants me to suffer."

"Maybe that's what he thinks he wants, but I doubt it's really true."

Jack looked away from the Doctor and said in a quiet, bitter voice, "He put a knife through my heart and then buried me alive—you really think he doesn't want to hurt me?"

"Oh, he's angry to be sure. But he's been hurt, too. We don't know what horrible things happened to him. His mind is bound to be mixed up. He's got the idea that he wants to hurt someone the way he was hurt, to try to even things out and make it all right again. But he could have satisfied that urge toward violence by trying to avenge himself on the people who kidnapped him. Instead, he came looking for you."

"It was my fault."

"No. Somewhere deep inside him, Gray knows it wasn't your fault. He came to you because his mind's stayed a child. He wants to find the big brother he thought would protect him. He wants to go back to the beginning and start again, but he's got his feelings confused. You've got to help him get them sorted."

"I don't know how," Jack said. His voice sounded strained.

The Doctor left his chair and went to kneel beside Jack, putting a hand on his arm. "I don't know how, either. But I'll do anything I can to help you."

Jack reached up to take the Doctor's hand. "Thank you," he said. "And thanks for everything you've told me today. I think it will help a lot."

"I hope so."

* * *

><p>The Doctor walked with Jack to his room when he was ready to sleep. Jack found the cord hanging from the ceiling and easily pulled his bed to the floor where magnets kept it in place.<p>

"This will be fine," Jack said approvingly as he sat on the bed to feel how soft it was.

"Good. When should I wake you?"

"Give me five hours? It usually takes me a while to get to sleep in a new place, but ever since Satellite Five I haven't been able to take much sleep at a time."

"Five hours, it is."

"Doctor," Jack said as his friend started to leave.

"Yes?"

Jack stopped himself. He imagined how the Doctor would react if he let his request slip out. It was too much of a culture shock. "Let's talk about Gray some more when I get up," he said instead.

The Doctor nodded. "All right. Sleep well."

When the door was closed, Jack sighed and murmured quietly, "Would you sleep by me?" He wished there were some way it would be all right to ask. But he had the feeling that the Doctor's interest in his culture didn't extend that far. It was too foreign, and he wouldn't want to become that intimate.

* * *

><p>"I think it would be best if I talked to him first," the Doctor told Jack as they prepared to bring Gray's body temperature back to normal.<p>

"Are you sure? He doesn't know you."

"I know. But he'll be disoriented anyway. If he sees you first thing, he's liable to throw a tantrum. Maybe he'll listen to me. It's worth a go, don't you think?"

Jack licked his lips. "Okay; I guess it can't make things worse. You're sure he's well contained there?"

"No one can open the case from the inside unless they know my password, and they'd have to say it in Gallifreyan, and in my voice."

"All right. Let's do it, then."

The Doctor started the warming cycle and stepped back, keeping his eyes on the case's indicators. In the corner of his eye he could see the Master in his case, not asleep like Gray, but actually dead. Warmth alone would not bring him back when the time came.

"How long will it take?" Jack asked.

"A few minutes, before his heart wakes up and he starts breathing on his own. After that, you'd best go wait in the control room."

They waited together, not speaking, until the indicators told the Doctor that Grey's deep hibernation had become a light sleep.

"It's time," he said.

"Okay; good luck," Jack said. He took one last look at his brother's face before leaving the room.

The Doctor watched the case carefully, glancing at Gray from time to time. Finally, he pressed a button on the control panel and said, "Gray?"

Gray stirred and a moment later his eyes opened. "Where am I?" he asked in the muffled rasp of someone who had just awoken from a long sleep.

"It's all right," the Doctor told him. "You're safe. Just stay relaxed. Don't try to get up suddenly. You've been asleep a few years."

"Years?" Gray's face looked anxious. "Where am I?" he repeated.

"At the moment, you're in a cryogenic freezer that's just returned you to normal body temperature."

"How did I get here?"

"That's a bit of a long story."

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor."

Gray turned his head toward the pane of glass and the Doctor saw fear in his eyes. "I'm not sick. I don't need a doctor."

"You're not here to be treated for illness."

"I'm not crazy either!"

"Calm down," the Doctor said gently. "It's all right. I'm not that sort of doctor."

"What sort are you?"

"The sort that tries to help people."

Slowly, Gray moved his hands and feet. Pain registered on his face as his circulation made a reluctant return.

"Take it easy. It's going to be difficult to move for a while."

"What happened to me?"

"Do you remember a Captain John Hart?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you remember your encounter with your brother?"

Gray's face became hard. "I remember."

"You had him shot, you stabbed him, and you buried him alive… did I miss anything?"

"He deserved worse, but that was all I could think of on such short notice."

"It's not Jack that you hate. He's not the one who hurt you."

"It's his fault!" Gray shouted. "How the hell do you _not notice_ when you lose your grip on the person you were given _to protect?"_

"You were children."

"Age is no excuse for stupidity. He didn't even look back! He just saved his own skin. Do you know what he'd have seen if he'd just looked back for a second?"

"Yes, I do," the Doctor said firmly. He stepped up to the glass and looked Gray in the eye. "You were both running quickly—faster than you could normally run, because Jack was pulling you along. You stumbled. Jack tried to keep you from falling, but you both ended up down in the sand. He got up, calling to you to keep going."

Gray's eyes were wide and he was breathing heavily.

"If he'd looked back just then, he'd have seen someone run up to you as you tried to stand," the Doctor went on. "Someone shaped like a human, but terrifying to look at. This person picked you up and carried you away into the thick of the chaos. Mere moments later, Jack took cover only to realize you were no longer with him. He immediately looked round for you, but you were nowhere to be seen. Even though there were enemies everywhere, he came out of hiding and retraced his steps, calling for you. He got all the way back to your family home, only to find that your father had been killed. And there was your mother, asking Jack where you were."

"Is that the way he told you?" Gray demanded.

"No—that's the way I saw it. I have a device that can reproduce events from the impulses of reflected light particles. To simplify a long and dull explanation, it's like a television that can show anything in time. It took me a long while after Jack told me what he could remember, but I finally located the incident and watched what I could find of it."

Gray shook his head. "That's impossible."

"Think what you like, but I know that's how it happened. I don't know who those people were, but I know that they were ruthless. I would never want to face them. And I can only imagine what they did to you. I am so sorry."

"I don't need you to feel sorry for me. I need him to pay for what he did."

"You can shift the blame all you like, Gray. But two can play at that game. If they hadn't had you to worry about, your father might have lived."

"Shut up!" Gray roared, trying to sit up. He ended up falling back again.

"I warned you not to try that too quickly," the Doctor reminded him. "Anyway, we could also blame you for causing Jack to fall. And we could blame the hot sun and your exertion for how hot your hands must have been—hot and sweaty and slippery. It would be so easy for your hand to slip out of Jack's. And was it his fault that you were both so young when it happened? That he was frightened and confused and counting on you to follow him? Or do you think it's his fault he was born first, that he was older and stronger and able to get up and run more quickly?"

"You think you know everything," Gray spat. "You don't know what they did—what they made me watch—what they made me do! Why didn't he hold onto me? Why didn't he come back for me? He was supposed to take care of me! I hate him."

The Doctor waited until Gray's rant ended in choked, angry sobs. "What you don't realize is that you and Jack have been thinking just alike all this time: He blames himself just as you blame him. He hates himself as you hate him. But the difference is that he loves you."

Gray turned his head away from the Doctor and again tried to sit up, this time more slowly. "If he loves me so much, where is he? Why does he send you to do his dirty work?"

"Jack doesn't know about my time television. He may not remember as much as I know. I asked him to let me talk to you first, and I advised him to wait somewhere else. I thought if he was the first person you saw, you were likely to do yourself damage in there. If I let you see him now, will you listen to him?"

"I don't want to see him. I want him to go to hell."

"In that case, I'll do my best to keep him from coming to see you. But until you get yourself on good terms with him, you're not leaving that box."

Sitting upright now, Gray looked around. "You're going to keep me prisoner here?"

"That's the idea. I'll fetch you something to eat now—you must be hungry."

"Wait. How many years was I frozen?"

"Oh, I dunno. A good long while. But we kept you in stasis, so you haven't aged at all. If you're anything like your brother, you're probably worried about your good looks, am I right?"

"Damn his good looks."

"Funny, I've thought similar things now and again. I'll be back." The Doctor retreated, doing his best not to listen to the stream of obscenities Gray was shouting at his back.

* * *

><p><em>Note: The "time television" is something introduced by the original Doctor, William Hartnell. He and his companions see Shakespeare in it, and the Shakespeare that the Tenth Doctor and Martha meet later looks nothing like him. Hmm... The device does not operate very reliably, and the Doctor is not able to make it show whatever he wants it to very often.<br>_

_Obviously, Jack's got his work cut out for him. Hope you're enjoying. :) Firefly characters will show up in the next chapter.  
><em>


	4. Barcelona

_**Firefly**: In this chapter begins the crossover with Firefly. As I said, if you don't know Firefly it shouldn't affect your enjoyment of the story, but if you're planning to watch Firefly later, there are some serious spoilers. For those familiar with it, you may be wondering why a certain character is with the crew at this point. The reason is because I love the character and his removal from the group served no apparent plot purpose that I could see. So he's still with them. It may be helpful for you to know that in Firefly the term "sly" is the current slang for gay.  
><em>

_Not much mature content in this chapter but by now you should have quit if you're sensitive to that. :p_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Four: Barcelona

* * *

><p>"I knew he wouldn't want to see me," Jack sighed.<p>

"So did I," the Doctor replied, much less daunted. "But he will when he gets tired of that chamber. He'll have to face it eventually and admit that he wants to know you again."

"I wish I were as sure as you are."

"Don't worry. At least you know he's safe here. Now, supposing we take the Tardis somewhere fun?"

"Like where?" Jack asked, perking up a little.

"Ever been to Barcelona? Not Barcelona the city—Barcelona the planet. You'll love it there; they've got dogs with no noses!"

Jack grinned. "How many times have you told that joke?"

"And it's still funny!" the Doctor exclaimed, laughing.

"All right, then—how about we go to Barcelona?"

"Love to," The Doctor said. Then his smile faltered.

"What is it?"

"Nothing… I just remembered something is all."

Jack waited a moment, then said, "You know, they say good communication is at the heart of every strong relationship."

"Who says?"

"They do." Jack shrugged. "What did you remember?"

"I was thinking of Rose," the Doctor admitted. "I offered to take her to Barcelona, once. It was when I was starting to regenerate. When we… left you on Satellite Five."

The silence stretched between them as Jack wondered which was causing the Doctor's discomfort—missing Rose, or feeling guilty about abandoning Jack. "It's all right, Doctor," he said. "We can go wherever you want."

After just a moment's hesitation, the Doctor snapped into action. "Right. Barcelona." He went to turn a few dials. "Adjust the directional unit to zero five nine one, will you?"

"Yes, sir," Jack answered. He was glad he could be of some use. Maybe the Tardis would land closer to target than usual, with two of them piloting.

* * *

><p>Whether by chance or by some benevolent choice of the Tardis, they landed quietly on the planet Barcelona.<p>

"We're on the mainland," the Doctor reported, looking over his instruments. "Lots of life forms about. Most of them are friendly, but try to stay out of trouble, all right?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "What time are we in?"

"We've gone forwards about four or five hundred years."

"So, the humans here still don't have contact with other species?"

"Correct—they've found lots of animal life, but most humans in the area are once again denying the existence of intelligent aliens."

"I guess ignorance is bliss."

The Doctor smirked. "You'll fit right in."

"Hey."

* * *

><p>Jack and the Doctor hadn't been out and about on the planet long before they accidentally caused a commotion.<p>

"Look—Browncoat!" someone shouted.

The companions looked at each other, then down at the Doctor's coat.

"It's more a rich beige," the Doctor commented in an appeasing tone.

"They're rebels!" another voice exclaimed. "Let's get 'em!"

"Knew I should have brought a gun," Jack muttered as he turned his back to the Doctor and prepared to fight.

"I'm sure we can settle this peaceably," the Doctor countered. "It's just a misunderstanding," he added for the benefit of the gathering crowd.

"No-good Browncoats think they can just go anyplace they please," an angry-looking man said. "Let's show 'em they're not wanted!"

As the crowd began closing in, a new voice called, "Nobody move!"

The Doctor looked up to see two men and a woman approaching them.

"Who asked you, stranger?" someone called to the man in the lead.

"You got no call to attack these men just 'cause one of 'em dresses some way you don't like."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you know what, bozo? I think you're a friend o' theirs—seein' as your coat's brown, too!"

"What's wrong with brown?" the Doctor asked, completely bewildered.

"We don't want any trouble," Jack declared. "We're just passing through. I don't know what you've got against brown coats, but it's got nothing to do with us."

"Anyway," said the blond man behind the first who had defended them, "this guy's coat is really dark tan…"

The Doctor shook his head in disagreement.

"…and it's not a military coat at all."

"Well his is!" someone exclaimed, pointing at the brown-coated man. "He's a damn rebel!"

"They're all rebels! Get 'em!"

"Oh, hell," said the Browncoat. "Nice going, Wash." He pulled out a gun. "Get over here, you two—things are going to get interesting."

As Jack and the Doctor hurried to get on the safe side of the Browncoat's gun, the Doctor said, "What you mean by 'interesting?'"

"Oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die?" the blond man supplied, as he and the woman pulled out their own weapons.

"Thanks," said Jack.

"Do they really intend to kill us?" the Doctor asked. He winced as the leader of their rescue fired a warning shot.

"They will, given half a chance. The best plan here is to make a strategic retreat. Kaylee, take the lead. We'll cover the rear."

The Doctor and Jack kept well behind the two men and followed the woman called Kaylee away from the crowd toward the edge of town.

Safety seemed very precarious for a time, but after a few members of the hostile crowd sustained minor wounds, they hung back and allowed the small party to escape.

"Thanks for your help," the Doctor told their rescuers.

"For the record, I was against interfering," the leader answered. "But it turned out okay this time. I'm Malcolm Reynolds, captain of the _Serenity_. This is my pilot, Wash, and my engineer, Kaylee."

"Good to meet you," Jack said, not showing any offense at the captain's reluctance to help them. "Captain Jack Harkness." He gave a charming smile.

"Oh, bother," the Doctor muttered.

"And this is the Doctor."

"We already have a doctor; do you have any other skills we could use?"

"Do I ever!" Jack said enthusiastically. "And I'd just love to show them to you."

"Going a bit far," the Doctor muttered.

Wash leaned closer to Kaylee and murmured, "I think we found a sly one," with an awkward smile.

"I heard that," Jack said, but he didn't seem upset. "Kaylee—you're the engineer?"

Kaylee smiled. "I know—I don't look like one. But something about spacecraft just turns me on."

Jack took a step closer to her. "Me too—or is that you?"

Kaylee giggled. "I think you were wrong, Wash."

"Something tells me Simon shouldn't meet this guy," Mal put in. "Now, look—do you two need any transportation?"

"Better yet, do you have any money?" Wash added.

"Afraid not," the Doctor said.

"Speak for yourself," said Jack. "I have money. It's kind of old, though."

Mal looked interested. "How old?"

"They're Euros—bills and coins."

"You have Euro bills? Like, from Earth-That-Was?" Wash exclaimed, incredulous.

"Yeah; twenty-first century."

"Well, they're not legal currency now," Mal said, "but collectors kill for them. What have you got? All singles, I suppose."

Jack smiled and shook his head. The Doctor thought he recognized a look on Jack's face that he hadn't seen since the early days when they had first met: The devious smile of a con artist.

"I have a ten Euro coin."

Wash's eyes grew wide and Mal whistled.

"I didn't know there were any left," Mal said. "The government tried to pull them all out of circulation over a hundred years ago, and the Alliance declared them Union property. Lots of collectors secretly own the smaller coins, and even a few bills, but the higher denominations are very rare."

"Where did you get them?" Kaylee asked.

After only a moment's hesitation, Jack answered, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"As long as you didn't steal them from anyone too powerful, we're interested," Mal told him. "But I don't know as we have any services worth such a high price."

"Oh, I know one resource we have that he'll be interested in," Kaylee said, smiling.

The Doctor didn't like the sound of that, and apparently Mal didn't either.

"Don't get ahead of things here, Kaylee," he said. "Let's take them back to the ship and talk things over. Maybe we can work something out."

"We do have our own transportation," the Doctor put in. "But I don't fancy trying to go back through that part of town to get to it."

"You need to lay low for a while," Wash agreed. "Maybe when things calm down, we can get you back to your ship."

"Will Gray be all right?" Jack asked the Doctor quietly.

"I left him food, and he has a water supply; he'll be fine for a night."

Jack nodded. "All right; we accept."

As they followed Mal and the others across the dimming landscape just outside the town, Jack told the Doctor, "I've pieced together when we are. We're just a few years after the Battle of Serenity Valley—the Browncoats versus the Alliance. That's why the people got so worked up over the color of your coat."

"Ah, yes; of course. I'll have to be more careful about little details like that."

"But then we won't have the joy of running for our lives as often," Jack teased.

* * *

><p>Once inside the <em>Serenity,<em> Jack and the Doctor met the other crew members: Zoe Washburne, Wash's wife and Mal's second in command; Jayne Cobb, a strong mercenary man; and Simon Tam, the ship's doctor.

Just when Jack's hopes of flirting with Simon were dashed by the announcement that Simon was Kaylee's current love interest, another female came into the ship's loading bay. She was light and slender, but well toned. Her hair matched her dark eyes and her skin was tanned.

The girl looked the newcomers over; then she crossed to Jack and looked him in the eye. "You don't belong here," she said. Her voice took on a distressed tone. "You shouldn't be here—you're a liar! Why are you here?"

Simon hurried forward and gently pulled the girl away from Jack. "River, shh."

"I'm sorry," Jack said. "I didn't mean to disturb her."

"Please, excuse my sister," Simon said. "She says some crazy things sometimes. It's just one of her off days."

"Obviously something about Jack has upset her," the Doctor said. "May I help you get her away from him?"

"I'd appreciate that."

River Tam was struggling half-heartedly against her brother's grip. When Simon moved her toward the ship's interior, she went limp and fell to the floor.

"Oh, come on," Simon groaned. "You're acting like a toddler. Stand up."

"'Off day,' my foot," Jayne muttered for Jack's benefit. "This is pretty normal from what I've seen. If you don't have the stomach to put up with crazies, you don't want to travel with this crowd."

"I'll keep that in mind… tiger," Jack said.

Jayne scowled at him. "Name's Jayne. Use it or lose it," he said, drawing a long knife from a sheath at his belt.

"Put it away," Mal said instantly.

Jack got the idea that Jayne lost control routinely.

"It's not bad enough we gotta deal with an incompetent doctor and his raving sister," Jayne complained, "now we got a scrawny professor and a flaming sly on board."

Jack twitched. He wasn't sure whether punching or kicking would be more satisfying in this situation…

But Kaylee beat him to it. "Simon is _not_ incompetent!" she exclaimed, slapping Jayne across the face. "Take it back!"

Mal grabbed Zoe and Wash by an arm each and led them in the direction the Doctor and the Tam siblings had gone. "Never a dull moment," he muttered. "Come on, Captain; best to stay clear when these two get going."

* * *

><p>The Doctor, meanwhile, had helped get River to a cozy little room off the ship's main passageway.<p>

"Here you go," Simon said, gently maneuvering River onto a low bed. "Everything's fine."

"I am not crazy," River declared.

"I know you're not."

"That man doesn't belong here. He's wrong."

"Please, stop this. They're guests. They won't stay forever…"

"Excuse me," the Doctor said. "Do you mind if I have a word with her?"

Simon hesitated.

"I don't mind that one," River said. "He belongs everywhere."

Simon glanced uneasily at the Doctor, obviously worried about the visitor's opinion of his sister's sanity.

The Doctor gave him a reassuring smile.

"All right." Simon backed away and leaned against the wall.

The Doctor knelt in front of the bed and looked into River's eyes. "How did you know about Jack?" he asked.

She shrugged. "He shouldn't be here. And his name isn't Jack."

"Are you telepathic?"

She looked away, toward the wall and then up to the ceiling, as if she were watching a moth's flight. "Sometimes," she said.

The Doctor held out his hand. "May I?"

She looked back at his face and put her hand in his.

There wasn't a sound in the room for some time while the Doctor held the girl's hand, looking into her fathomless eyes, listening to her breathing, feeling the light pulse under her smooth skin.

"River." The Doctor frowned. "Does the name Song mean anything to you?"

Simon gasped. "Our grandmother's name was River Song—that's who she's named after. Did you know her?"

"Briefly," the Doctor said. "But not well, I'm afraid."

"You must have been very young at the time."

"He's older than he looks," River supplied.

"It's true," said the Doctor. "I am. River, about Jack—you're right. My ship feels the same way about him that you do. But she tolerates his presence temporarily. Eventually, I'll take Jack away from here. You won't have to put up with him forever. For now, can you let him be near you? I don't want him upsetting you, but it's not really his fault, you know."

River stared unblinking at him for what seemed like a long time. "I won't like it," she said at last. "But I'll put up with him."

"Thanks very much." The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver. "Do you mind if I take a few readings? It doesn't hurt at all—just gives me a little information."

Simon came closer and seemed about to protest, but River forestalled him.

"It's all right," she said.

While he scanned River's head and chest, the Doctor was very much aware of Simon watching him as a cat watches the child holding her kitten. "It's incredible," he murmured. "You're perfect—brilliant. But they've done something to you, isn't that right?" He put his screwdriver away.

"It was the Alliance," Simon explained. "River was always gifted. They took her to test how they could manipulate her brain and turn her into a weapon."

"Knocked out most of her amygdalae, didn't they?"

Simon was surprised. "That's right. That must be a hell of a scanner if you could tell that so quickly."

"Well, it is—put together with some intuition. She's shown herself to have trouble controlling her emotions, as well as some forgetfulness—indicates trouble with the old amygdalae."

"Are you a doctor of psychology, then?"

"No, no… I'm… just the Doctor."

"Is it an honorary title?"

A small smile crossed the Doctor's face. "More dishonorable, at this point. But yes, I suppose it is a sort of title. Not what you'd call a profession. I hope I haven't taken too many liberties…"

"I've haven't seen her so calm with a stranger in years. It's like she already knew you. Her reaction's good enough for me—you can stay as long as you want, as far as I'm concerned."

.

Mal gave Jack a quick tour of the Firefly ship.

"She's a beauty," Jack approved. "You don't see these pretty little zippers anymore where I'm from."

"Zippers?" Mal asked.

"Regional slang for a quick little ship," Jack explained, not wanting to offend his host.

"Yeah, there aren't many left around here, either. They're not appreciated. She's got two shuttles for on-world transport. But Inara lives in one of them."

"Inara?"

"Yeah—she leases the shuttle from me. It's a sort of mobile home for her."

They left the engine room and headed back toward the kitchen.

"What does Inara do?"

But before Mal could answer, they encountered Simon, River and the Doctor in the kitchen. River and the Doctor were cooking something and Simon was grinning at them from his vantage point.

"Doctor?" Jack said, all curiosity.

The Doctor looked up from his work. "Oh, there you are. I forgot to eat anything today, remember? Finally got hungry."

River gave Jack a cold look, but she didn't say anything.

"I hope you're not using up the best of our rations," said Mal.

Before anyone could come up with an answer to that, a sixth person entered the kitchen.

Jack froze, completely forgetting his curiosity about whatever the Doctor was getting up to. This new person was a lady; the most beautiful lady Jack had seen for some time. She moved gracefully, and when she said, "What's all this?" it sounded like music.

"Inara, these are Jack and the Doctor—they're staying with us tonight," Mal told her. Then he turned to the others. "Jack, Doctor: Meet Inara Serra."

Seizing on the one thing he knew about her, Jack said, "Mal was just telling me you lease one of the _Serenity's_ shuttles."

"That's right," Inara answered. "It allows me to have my privacy and a place to work as well as on-world transport."

"What kind of work do you do, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Inara is a companion," River piped up, still tending whatever was cooking on the range in front of her.

The Doctor looked up. "A companion?"

Jack was in awe. "A professional companion?"

"Licensed," Inara said, smiling graciously.

"What's that mean, companion?" the Doctor asked.

"Not your kind of companion, Doctor," Jack explained. "_My_ kind of companion."

"Oh." The Doctor opened his mouth and closed it, then tried again. "You mean a… courtesan?"

"I've never met a licensed companion in person," Jack said. "I'm honored."

Inara bowed. "Thank you. What brings you here?"

Jack's mind went blank. _What the hell __**are**__ we doing here, anyway?_

"We were just passing through," the Doctor said, "when we ran into a bit of trouble accidentally. Your captain and two of the others were good enough to help us out of it."

"You're lucky they didn't help you into more trouble," Inara said with a dry glance at Mal. "They're good at that."

The Doctor smiled and went back to stirring his concoction.

* * *

><p><em>lol Jack's smitten. Again. See you next time.<br>_


	5. Reavers

_There be Firefly spoilers here. :p Plot elements and themes revealed._

_Remember, this is an M story-there be discussion of mature topics here, too.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Five: Reavers

* * *

><p>"I think I know how I want to spend my coin," Jack told the Doctor as they settled in for the night.<p>

The Doctor sighed. "You find yourself a wealthy man in a strange land and what do you do? Blow it on a one-night stand."

"It's not a one-night stand. It's an appointment with a licensed companion. Of course, she'll have to approve me, but I don't think that will be a problem."

"What's the difference?"

"It's a huge difference. Companions are highly educated individuals. They're intelligent, graceful, polite and skilled. When you request a booking you get screened for any bad marks on your reputation. Then the companion decides whether or not she wants to take you as a client."

"And sleeping with a stranger is, of course, not a bad mark on your reputation?" the Doctor said dryly.

"Not if it's a companion. Not in this culture."

"Do they have them in your culture?"

"Yes. I always wanted to employ one, but it would have used up most of my funds, so I never did."

"You mean you had self-control in your younger days?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "You just don't understand."

"I just think you could make better use of your time and money."

"Well, don't worry about the money. I told them I have a ten Euro coin; I actually have a handful of them, and some bills, too. We'll be fine."

"I knew you had something devious up your sleeve besides your arm."

* * *

><p>"That's your transport?" Mal asked as he guided the shuttle to rest beside the Tardis.<p>

"Don't let looks fool you," Jack said. "She's not much on the outside, but she'll take you anywhere in the 'verse in nothing flat."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I'll go see to Gray," the Doctor said. "You fetch anything you think we might need." He turned to Mal. "Will you wait here for us?"

"Sure… I wouldn't want a fourth person in that box if I were you."

Once inside, the Doctor went to check Gray's status.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fit to kill."

"Would you like to come outside? We're on Barcelona. You'll like it," he couldn't resist adding, "they've got dogs with no noses!"

Despite his sullen demeanor, a smile ghosted over Gray's face. Then he frowned again. "Will he be with us?"

"Yes; we've met some new friends, though. They've got a neat little spacecraft. We may end up traveling with them. It should be interesting. You wouldn't have to be with Jack all the time."

"Aren't you afraid I'll try to escape?"

"You'd be stranded in the 26th century. Besides, I've got these," the Doctor said, holding up two bracelets. "We each wear one. You get more than ten feet from me and _zzzt!_ You get zapped by ten thousand volts."

"So I would have to be with you every moment."

"Yes."

Gray looked around his little cell. "What happens if I don't want to go?"

"Well, I can leave you food enough for a week or so; after that you'll just have to hope we haven't been killed and come back to get you."

"I'm coming."

The Doctor smiled. "I'm so glad."

* * *

><p>"Gray, this is Mal. Mal, this is Jack's brother, Gray. Gray isn't speaking to Jack, and Jack, out of respect for his feelings, isn't speaking to Gray."<p>

"Oh, wonderful."

"It goes back a long time," the Doctor went on. "Something happened when they were kids—Gray had a terrible experience that he blames Jack for."

"We're right here, you know," Jack said.

"When you say 'terrible experience,' what do you mean?" Mal asked.

"Something bad enough that he might show some behavior similar to River's."

Mal looked very reluctant. "Great. Maybe we should stick them in a room and see if they fix each other."

Jack couldn't help laughing quietly. Gray kept his mouth clamped firmly shut.

"Gray's got to stay with me at all times," the Doctor went on. "I've got to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't try to kill Jack."

Jack realized that the restraining devices the Doctor was using had once belonged to him—he had forgotten to get them back after loaning them to the Doctor.

"I'm not sure I want you three on my ship," Mal said.

"Oh, we'll be a great help with Jack's money and my know-how and Gray's… well, with us along, your ventures will go much smoother, I'm sure."

"Are you any good in an engine room?"

"Fair, but Jack's better with your sort of craft," the Doctor admitted readily.

"Can you pilot?"

"Same there—I can figure out how to pilot most anything, but Jack's the fly-boy. Though in my own ship, no one can come close…"

"Are you any good at combat?"

"I'm a brains over brawn sort of person, but Jack—"

"…Jack's the expert," Mal finished. "Can you do anything Jack can't do better?"

This time, Jack laughed aloud. "Not much, but he wears hightops better than I ever could."

Even Gray couldn't hide a smile at that.

The Doctor crossed his arms. "I happen to be a wealth of invaluable information and a strategic genius."

"Geez, don't be so modest," said Mal.

"The real question is, what can you do for us, since I'm the one with the money," Jack prompted.

"I still haven't seen it."

Jack took a coin from his pocket and held it so Mal could see.

"I'll have a proper look when we get back to the _Serenity._ What do you need?"

"I was wondering about Inara. Would this cover her fee?"

"Well, yeah," Mal said, sounding more reluctant than ever. "But she has some sort of screening process you'll have to pass. Mind you, I don't approve of her work. But it pays and she doesn't cause us trouble, so I put up with it."

"Wouldn't most people be glad to have her grade of class on board?"

"I guess. It's just my opinion, which doesn't seem to count for much."

* * *

><p>Jayne kept to himself somewhere while the others met Gray, and Zoe and Wash left to look for business in town. When Simon cautiously brought River out to see what she thought of the latest addition, she looked Gray over critically.<p>

"Another one," she said.

The Doctor stood next to her, careful not to get more than ten feet from Gray. "It's all right," he told her. I know he doesn't belong here, either. He's Jack's brother. He needs to stay with us."

"He's hurting."

Gray stared with a cold, blank expression.

"Yes, I daresay he is. That makes him a bit dangerous."

River shook her head. "He's not as dangerous as the other one." She went to stand in front of Gray and tilted her head to one side.

No one moved or spoke. Simon seemed to be holding his breath.

Slowly, River reached out and slipped her hand into Gray's. "Me, too," she said quietly.

The Doctor bit his lip. He waited for Gray to push her away, to shout at her, to demand that Simon get her away from him.

"Come on," River said, giving Gray's hand a little tug.

"Doctor," Gray said, sounding uncertain.

Simon stepped forward slowly and reached out to his sister. "River, give him a chance to settle in, okay?"

"It's fine," said Gray. "Doctor, give her the cuff. I'll stay with her."

The Doctor looked at Jack, wondering if Gray could be trusted.

"I won't hurt her," Gray went on. "You want to be with Jack and I don't. So let me go with her."

"River," said the Doctor, and she turned to look at him. "Will it be all right?"

"Yes," River said, nodding confidently.

Simon looked at Gray with distrust. "Okay, but I'll stay nearby the whole time."

"Not necessary," River said. She held out her hand toward the Doctor.

The Doctor took the circlet off his wrist and gave it to River, who put it on as if it were the very latest fashion. Then she grabbed Gray's hand again.

"Come on, this way."

They left quickly, with Simon following.

"That… was weird," Jack commented.

"I've quit trying to understand that girl," said Mal. "You just learn to deal with it."

* * *

><p>"You're from a family in good standing with the Alliance," Inara noted, reading over Jack's psychic paper. "Your parents are deceased?"<p>

"Gray's all I have left."

"You had a wife—also deceased. You've had a lot of hardship in your time."

"I've had a lot of time for hardship. I'm older than I look."

"You've always had a good health record?"

Jack nodded. "People are well-educated and careful where I come from."

"And the Doctor will vouch for your good character?"

"I hope so. I mean, I'm sure he would, except that he doesn't approve of employing a companion."

"I see. Mal will appreciate his attitude."

"What is it Mal disapproves of, exactly?"

"I think he's romanticized his own preference of exclusivity," Inara said with a shrug. "I know by now that I won't be able to change his opinion. He shows me respect, and that's enough."

"Sorry; I don't mean to pry."

"That's all right. And you say you have a rare coin to pay with?"

Jack handed the ten Euro coin to her. "Mal's checked it. He's satisfied that it's authentic."

"It's amazing. It's in such good condition. It must have been passed down through the generations in private collections. Are you sure you want to part with it?"

"What good does it do me if I don't spend it? I'm not one to keep useless things around just because they're shiny."

Inara gave back the coin and the psychic paper. "If you're sure, then. You may give the coin to Mal tomorrow. He'll sell it and we'll divide the profits. And if I were you, I'd ask for some change back."

"I'm not worried about it."

"Is tonight too soon?"

"Not at all." Jack stood and took Inara's hand to kiss. "I look forward to it."

* * *

><p>"Tonight? Oh, bravo. Quick work," the Doctor congratulated Jack in a very sarcastic tone.<p>

"Well, didn't we come to Barcelona to have fun? This may be the only chance I ever get to do this."

"You're going to live thousands of years; something tells me you'll get another chance."

"Not jealous, are you?"

"No!" The Doctor sighed. "I just don't like you doing something I disagree with when you're in my charge."

"Your charge?"

"Yes. I brought you here; I'm responsible for you."

Jack considered that. "All right," he said slowly. "I knew I'd have to take your orders when you took me on board. So, if you really don't want me to, I won't."

"Damn it, Jack…" the Doctor ran a hand through his messy hair. "I'm not going to order you not to. I suppose, as long as you're not stupid, it won't hurt anything in the long run. I don't like it, but…. It's not down to me to decide what you do."

Uncertain, Jack stepped toward the Doctor. _I wish he'd just tell me what he wants. Doesn't he know I'll do anything for him?_

"It's fine," the Doctor said, turning way. "Do as you see fit."

"Doctor…"

"I'm not cross with you. I'm sorry I've made such a fuss. Now, I'd better check on Gray."

Jack let him go. _I'm so confused._

* * *

><p>"What is this?" Gray asked when River had shut the two of them in a very small space.<p>

"It's the smuggling compartment," River said, sounding pleased with herself.

"Nice," Gray approved. "But I can't see a thing."

"That's all right; a thing can't see you either."

Gray laughed. "So, who are you? Simon's your brother, and he's a doctor, right? Do you just go wherever he goes?"

"Simon takes care of me. He rescued me from them."

"From who?"

"Bad men from the Alliance. They ruined my head."

"I think your head's just fine."

"They put holes in it."

"You should see what they did to me. Not the Alliance, though."

"The Reavers?" River asked.

Gray froze. "Who?"

"Reavers are bad people. They hurt you and eat you. Alive."

Gray felt around in the dark until he found River's wrists and held them tightly. "How did you know that? Have you seen them?"

"I've killed about a hundred of them."

It didn't sound like a boast or an exaggeration. Just a fact.

"Tell me more," Gray said urgently. "They look like humans, right? But their hair is long and wild. They wear clothes…"

"Clothes made from the skin of their victims," River finished. "They rape you to death and eat you and sew your skin into clothes. If you're lucky, in that order."

Gray's chest was heaving at the vivid memories playing through his mind. "I wasn't lucky," he said quietly. "They kept me alive. I don't know why. They did horrible things to the people from my town, and they made me watch. I was just a little kid."

"Let go."

He suddenly realized he was crushing her wrists. He released his grip and rubbed her arms in apology.

"It's safe here," River said. "Our brothers will take care of us."

Gray leaned back against the wall of the little chamber. "My brother. My brother should have taken care of me, but he didn't. He let them take me. He should have come to save me like your brother saved you."

"He searched for years, but he thought you were dead."

"How do you know that?"

After a moment, River said, "Everyone talks in the silence. Sometimes, I can hear them. But I can always hear your brother. And he's always screaming your name."

Gray was startled to feel tears on his face. He didn't know if River was making any sense, but for some reason what she said seemed to tear his heart in two.

* * *

><p>"I was with them just a few minutes ago and they were fine," Simon told the Doctor, "but now I can't find them."<p>

"All right, hold on." The Doctor scanned the hallway with his sonic screwdriver. "This way." Soon he came to stop beside a wall near the main hatch.

"The smuggling compartment," Simon said, bewildered.

"He probably convinced River to take off her cuff and tossed them both in there," the Doctor lamented. "That's what Jack would have done, anyway. Probably long gone by now…" He helped Simon pull back the triangular piece of wall that concealed the small space.

"What are you doing in there?" he exclaimed when he saw Gray and River sitting inside.

"Talking," said Gray.

"Well, do it out in the open like a decent person," Simon told him, taking River's hand and pulling at her.

"What's wrong with sitting in here? It's out of the way. We're not hurting anything."

"What were you doing?" Simon asked River.

"Just talking," she said. "I like Gray."

"That's nice. Like him out in the open."

"I don't like the open."

"Tough!"

The Doctor replaced the wall panel. "Please, try to stay out of mischief," he told Gray. "Otherwise, you're back with me. Understand?"

Gray didn't look very compliant, but he nodded.

"Why are your wrists red?" Simon asked suddenly.

River grasped each of her wrists. "Unpleasant memories," she said.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Leave me alone."

Simon looked her over once more. "I'll be in the infirmary; come see me every now and then so I know you're all right. Otherwise, I'll come looking for you."

River's only answer was an annoyed glare.

* * *

><p>The Doctor waited until Simon was out of sight. Then he gently took River's right arm in his hands. "Does it hurt?" he asked.<p>

"No."

"I… I did it by accident," Gray admitted. "I didn't mean to hurt her."

"It was an accident," River agreed.

"You're walking a fine line," the Doctor warned Gray. "This sort of thing cannot happen."

"I understand," Gray said meekly. "I was just…"

"He's all right now," River said quickly.

"All right, you two. Try to behave yourselves, won't you?"

Gray nodded.

The Doctor left them and River held out her hands to Gray.

"I'm really sorry," Gray said, taking her hands and looking at the fading red marks on her wrists.

"I know. I like your name."

Gray blinked, surprised at the sudden change in topic. "Thanks. I like yours, too," he said.

* * *

><p><em>Aw, the psycho killers are all innocent together. ;) Hope you liked it. Next time, Jack will have to make his decision about Inara.<em>


	6. One Night Stand

_This one is long, but I saw no way to break it up or shorten it._

_Spoilers: More spoiling of the same sort for Torchwood, an unusual spoiler for Firefly-Inara tells Jack something that is never revealed in the Firefly series or the movie Serenity. By some, it might not be considered canon. It was something revealed by Morena Baccarin (Inara's actress) in a panel discussion._

_Warning: This chapter involves some nudity and intimacy, so if you're allergic to that, better skip from the third break to the end where I'll summarize what happened for you (since I would have appreciated that in some other people's lemony stories... sheesh :p ).  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Six: One-Night Stand

* * *

><p>Wash and Zoe came back that afternoon with news of a stranger in town looking for mercenaries.<p>

"He's looking for fighters to go after Reavers," Wash told the others.

"The Alliance is finally doing something about them?" Mal asked.

Zoe shook her head. "He didn't look like an Alliance man. I think he's working on his own. He said something about wanting to recover something the Reavers took. I'm guessing he's some rich buffoon who lost something important along with a cargo or something."

"The important thing is, he's offering to pay pretty well," said Wash.

"Oh, no," said Mal. "I've seen too many Reavers up close and personal already."

"I agree, but this is different. There will be an organized army of us. We just fly the _Serenity_ in, shoot up the Reavers…"

"This isn't an attack vessel. And even if she were equipped for battle, I'm not risking her in a dogfight."

"We could help crew someone else's ship, then," said Zoe. "He's paying very well. It's a good chance to pass up."

"Pretty soon we'll have a good chunk of money," Mal said, glancing furtively at Jack. "There's no reason to go sticking our necks out for some rich idiot."

Jack left the group and wandered away through the ship. He had been worrying about his tryst ever since talking with the Doctor. The Doctor seemed to have given his tacit approval, but Jack wasn't at all sure that going through with his plan wouldn't cause trouble between them later. After all, the Doctor could be very moody…

Jack found himself outside Inara's shuttle door. If he changed his plans, he'd have to tell her anyway; maybe she could help him decide. He knocked on the door.

"Jack," Inara greeted him, "what can I do for you?"

"I guess I want some advice. May I come in?"

Inara stepped back and ushered Jack into her sitting area.

"I'm worried about my friend."

"The Doctor?"

"Yes. I told you about his disapproval."

"Now that we've arranged our encounter, he's upset about it?"

Jack nodded. "He says he's not going to stop me but I know it bothers him a lot."

"Is he in love with you?"

"No…" _I wish!_ "He's always resisted any romantic attention from me. He just wants to stay friends."

"If he's the one who has been keeping you at a distance, then he has no say in whom you see or what you do," Inara said logically. "I'm sure he cares for you very deeply, but he shouldn't try to keep you to himself. Sometimes friends who mean well end up being very controlling. If you humor him too much, you'll make it harder for him to give you freedom."

Jack leaned forward in his chair, resting his forearms on his knees. "That makes sense. It's just that even though we disagree, I do respect his opinion. I respect him more than anyone else I've ever known. And I really don't want to hurt him."

"Did you tell him that?"

"Sort of… not in those words."

"Sometimes it's easier to tell a stranger these things," Inara said with a sad smile. "But if you don't tell him outright, how can you be sure he knows how you feel?"

"That's another thing—in his culture, you're supposed to convey the really important stuff without words. I don't want to make him uncomfortable."

"He's made you uncomfortable. It's not fair for you to take all the stress in the relationship."

Jack smiled a little. "So you're saying I should get to be selfish sometimes, too?"

"In some cases, if you don't act a bit selfish, your friend will never stop taking advantage of you."

"Well, I don't think it's that extreme. But I appreciate this, Inara. I'll definitely keep what you've said in mind." He stood to go and she escorted him to the door.

"Just remember," she said, "We haven't made any sort of contract. You are under no obligation to keep the appointment if you change your mind."

* * *

><p>"If we do get a large enough group to go after these Reavers," the Doctor said later, "and we wage war with them from the ships, then the danger isn't any worse than fighting any other people, is it?"<p>

Mal, Zoe and Jayne had just finished explaining where the Reavers had come from to the Doctor, along with some of their previous encounters with them.

"If we got boarded, it would be worse than usual," Mal pointed out.

"Yeah, but we've got River," said Jayne.

The others stared at him. "Just sayin'… she massacred dozens of them before."

"Simon will never let her go on a mission like this," Zoe said firmly. "So, don't even think about it."

"Doctor, you strike me as the pacifist type," Mal put in. "Do you have a personal score to settle with the Reavers?"

The Doctor looked a little sheepish. "To be honest, I'm just very curious about this item they stole. What could be so important to this man that he would go after such a ruthless horde of enemies?"

"He'll be in town a few weeks, so we have time to think about it," said Zoe. "Maybe we could put it to a vote, or just decide individually."

The Doctor felt a burning curiosity. What had the Reavers taken? Was it an object of great value? Of great power? He didn't like the idea of passing up this adventure. He had to know.

* * *

><p>That evening, River walked with Gray to the room the time travelers were sharing on the <em>Serenity.<em> They paused in the doorway and he gave her hand a squeeze.

River reached up to run her fingers lightly over the side of his face. "Sleep well and no bad dreams," she said.

"You, too. Good night, River."

The Doctor removed the restraining cuff from River's wrist and put it on his own.

"Good night, Doctor." River kissed his cheek.

When the Doctor closed the door and turned around, he saw Jack grinning at him.

"What?"

"That was so sweet."

The Doctor shook his head. He looked Jack over. "When I told you to fetch things we'd need, I didn't mean a three-piece suit."

Jack shrugged. "You never know."

"Is that a bucket of cologne you put on?"

"I'm not wearing cologne."

"Eh?"

Gray snorted and the Doctor looked from one brother to the other.

There was a bit of color in Jack's cheeks, but his grin didn't falter. "That would be the fifty-first century pheromones."

"Oh…" the Doctor quickly out-blushed Jack. "Well, go on and get your rising hormonal imbalance out of here, will you? I'm going to sleep."

"Good night," Jack said. He glanced back at the other two climbing into their bunks and then left the room.

"He looks like an ass in that suit," Gray commented.

The Doctor turned out the light with his sonic screwdriver and yawned. "I thought he looked sort of dapper. But don't tell him I said that."

* * *

><p>Inara had tea waiting when Jack arrived. She was wearing a long silky gown with sheer sleeves and ruffles. Jack thought it would probably make a beautiful cascade falling down when the back was undone. Her hair was a perfect collection of tight ringlets that seemed to call out to be touched.<p>

"You're a picture beyond the skill of any artist," Jack told her, kissing her hand.

"You are most gracious," Inara answered. "You look like the embodiment of your family's good name. Will you take some tea?"

"Yes, thank you."

Jack smirked a little as he thought over what Mal had just told him in the hall—_"You just better be good to her. I'm told there's a special place in hell for people who abuse ladies."_ He wondered who had told Mal that, and under what circumstances.

They spent some time talking about Barcelona, and Inara briefly told Jack about her decision to leave the Companion House Madrassa to travel the outer rim with the _Serenity's_ crew.

"How did you meet the Doctor?" Inara asked.

"That's a long story," Jack said, smiling. "The gist of it is that I got myself into some deep trouble and he helped me out of it."

"Have you been together ever since?"

"No; I've traveled with him a little bit. Various circumstances kept us apart a lot. But now it looks like we'll be able to stick together for a long time. That's what I'm hoping, anyway."

"And your brother—the two of you haven't spoken for years?"

"That's a long story, too." Jack didn't really want to tell her about Gray; it might spoil the mood.

"I'm a good listener, Jack. I can give you a massage while you tell me about him."

Jack wanted to ask, "Are you sure?" It wasn't a pleasant story, and so far there was no happy ending. But he knew Inara wasn't just doing her job—she was too well-trained not to cover his emotional needs as well as his physical ones, but she was also at liberty to choose how personal she got with her clients.

"All right," he agreed. "Thank you." He followed her to a comfortable daybed and was about to remove his tie when she put her hands over his.

"Let me do that," she offered with a smile.

He lowered his hands and stood quietly while she undid the bowtie and slid it from around his neck. Then she unbuttoned his vest and removed it, setting it neatly over the back of a chair. When she began unbuttoning his shirt, she said,

"You're not nervous, are you?"

"Do I look nervous?" He smiled. "That's unusual for me."

"You don't strike me as a beginner," she agreed. "Don't let my status daunt you; you are here to be served by me, and performance is not a requirement on your part."

She paused to unbutton his cuffs before helping him off with his shirt.

"Well, I hope you take more enjoyment from this than the satisfaction of a job well done," he said, lowering himself onto the daybed.

"I think I will. Hard or gentle?"

"Hard, please. But don't tire yourself."

Immediately, the hands that had been so carefully gentle in removing his clothing were vigorously kneading his shoulders. It had been a long time since Jack had received such deep therapy. He sighed.

"You have some strong stress knots," Inara told him.

"Can't say I'm surprised."

"Do you have trouble sleeping?"

"Yes. I have for a long time, now." For a minute or two, he lay still, eyes closed, concentrating on relaxing completely under her skillful attention.

"Now, will you tell me about Gray?"

Jack took a moment to collect his thoughts. "It happened a long time ago. We were just kids. In those days I was a sort of child star. I did some acting and singing for advertizing. Then I became a poster boy for…" He hesitated. The Time Agency wasn't in existence yet. "…for an Alliance organization. A branch they don't have now."

Inara moved her hands up to massage Jack's neck. The sinews crackled.

"You really would benefit from the services of a chiropractor," she commented.

"Probably so; maybe I can find one in town."

"Please, go on."

"Well, things were going pretty well," Jack resumed. "Gray and I didn't always get along—I think he was a little jealous because I was getting to be so popular—but we loved each other.

"One day a strange ship landed on our peninsula. The people in the town got wiped out so quickly, no one was able to get word to us until minutes before they got to our area. My father thought it would be safer if we got out away from the buildings—maybe they wouldn't look for us in the wilderness. He sent me and Gray off on our own while he went back to the house to find my mother. He told us to find a place far from the house where we could hide until it was safe."

Jack tried not to think about what he was saying. He didn't want to admit his terrible mistake to her. But he didn't want to be cowardly, either; he would show her the worst of him and let her judge him as she would.

"I'd always been very sheltered. We were even talking about getting me a bodyguard around that time, since I had such a growing fan base. I had never felt like I was ever truly in danger. When Dad told us to run, I knew it was absolutely serious and that we might die. It was the most terrifying feeling I'd ever had. We ran faster than we'd ever run before. Gray had trouble keeping up, so I pulled him along."

Inara's hands traveled over Jack's back, and he felt the warm, slick texture of some scented oil she was applying. It seemed strange to be enjoying such a pleasant sensation while retelling such a horrible experience.

"Somehow, somewhere, I lost hold of him. I don't know how it happened or when; I thought he was still with me. When I took cover, he wasn't beside me anymore. I couldn't remember losing him. I felt so sick, I didn't care if I got caught and killed. I didn't want to face my parents if I didn't have him with me. I went back and looked and called for him, but he was gone. I could see the raiders all around in the distance, but I guess they didn't notice me. They were too busy looting and burning and killing."

Jack felt Inara kiss his shoulder softly, while one arm slipped around him. "Were they Reavers?"

"I don't know. From what Mal and the others have told me, it sounds like the same kind of people. But…" But they were in the wrong century. Surely all the Reavers were stamped out by the time Jack was born—long before.

"How long was it before you found him?"

"I never did. A friend of mine found him—John Hart. It was years. Ten, I guess. After seven years, my mother begged me to stop looking. She was afraid I would go insane. She thought after all that time, there was no chance he could still be alive, and she didn't want to lose me, too. She was all I had left, so I listened to her. But she wasn't strong, and she died not long after that."

"What about your father?"

"He died in the raid, protecting my mother."

"I'm very sorry."

There was something in her voice much more comforting than Jack had expected. She sounded genuinely moved, but not as if she pitied him in a condescending way.

"And Gray blames you for losing hold of him?"

"For losing him, and for giving up. I worked with John Hart and he got the story out of me over the years we spent together. I left the agency suddenly, and since he didn't know how to reach me, he decided to reopen the search for Gray on his own. I'm not sure how he tracked them down, but somehow he got Gray back. Since then, Gray's greatest wish has been to hurt me as much as he can. To show me the pain he felt. To punish me for letting him down."

"Do you blame yourself, too?"

"He was my responsibility. I know I was just a kid, and that nothing could have prepared me for that day. But I keep thinking over and over that I should have held onto him. I should have made sure he stayed with me. I should have let them take me instead."

Inara brushed his hair back and kissed his temple. "Everyone has regrets. But once done, nothing can be undone. All we can do is go on, and resolve to make better choices. To learn from the bad ones."

Jack didn't answer. He focused on her touch as her hands caressed his shoulders, his arms, his ribs. Then she tugged his arm gently and he rolled onto his back.

"Hard or gentle?" she asked again.

"Hard."

Her oil-smoothed fingers moved over his chest and settled into deep circles below his collarbone.

"It's a wonder he didn't go completely mad," she said. "Even a day captured by Reavers is enough to drive some people over the edge."

"I'm not sure he's all right in the head. I understand his wanting to take revenge on me. But some of the things he's said and done… seem more than part of an obsession. I know that being that angry with someone hurts terribly. I wish there were something I could do to satisfy him so he could move on. I'd let him kill me if I thought it would do any good." _But we tried that and it didn't work,_ he added mentally.

"Is it worth giving your life to let Gray go on with his? Gray is hurt and confused, but you are hurt and confident in yourself. I know it isn't his fault, but your maturity is much more advanced than his. You have reached out to others to help heal your soul while Gray has regressed into himself. If he keeps on like this, he may never recover. I think he needs your help more than anything, and the worst thing you can do is leave him alone as he thinks he wants you to."

Jack winced at the pleasant impulses of Inara's fingers finding more sensitive areas to stimulate. "But the closer I try to get to him," he said haltingly, struggling to keep his voice level under the wonderful torture he was enduring, "the angrier he gets. I don't have any right to expect him to forgive me. And if he won't do that, we can never…" he caught his breath as her fingers moved over his nipples and trailed down to his waist. "... never be brothers again," he managed to finish.

"It may take a long time, but if you love him that much, you need to make sure you're close by when he realizes he needs you. Even if it takes decades. Even if he's an old man when he finally realizes it. Would you still love him, then?"

"Yes." He didn't have to think about it. He knew he would never love Gray less. That was why it hurt so deeply.

She took his hands. "Are you ready?"

"I think so. But before we go any further," he said, sitting up, "I have something to ask of you."

"All right."

"Where I come from, we have a custom called 'sleeping by.' It's like sleeping with someone, only there's no sex. Understand: It's not that I think I wouldn't enjoy having sex with you, but I think I would be just as pleased—just as honored—to lie beside you, talk with you and better make your acquaintance. And that way, I think the Doctor would be spared some anxiety. Does that sound like a good compromise?"

"If you're certain it's what you want," she answered.

Jack nodded. "It is."

"Then it would be my honor to sleep by you."

Jack instantly felt more at ease. "Thank you. And may I return the favor of giving you a massage?"

Inara smiled at him. "If you would enjoy it, then by all means."

"Am I coming across sort of inept at this?" Jack inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"You're coming across as very sweet," she replied. "I'll give you a recommendation on my list of good customers."

"That's nice of you—how long does that last?"

"For life, unless you do something terrible."

_Life? _Jack wondered how long that would be for him. Maybe the Doctor was right and he would get another chance to do this.

"Truth be told, I really like first-time customers. They tend to talk more, and they're less down-to-business." She turned away from Jack and pulled her hair up so he could unfasten her dress.

When she turned back toward him, the dress fell away in a light rippling motion even more attractive than Jack had pictured. He tried to think of a poetic way to tell her how beautiful she was, but everything that came to mind seemed too shallow or cheesy. So he silently took her hand and settled her down on the daybed.

"Hard is fine," she told him.

Accordingly, Jack pressed his fingers into her skin firmly, but he didn't use his weight as he would have with one of his male friends. Inara was too delicate for such treatment, even if she did like hard massages.

"You love the Doctor very much, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes. He and Gray are everything to me. If I lost them both, I don't know what I'd have to live for."

"And having something to live for is very important to you."

"Yes, it is. Definitely."

"Is that because you're not sure how long you will live?"

Jack paused momentarily, and then resumed massaging. "What do you mean?"

"Forgive me, but there's something off about you, Jack. I suppose it's like River said when you first arrived: You don't belong here. River says some wild things, but she also knows things no one else knows. Things no one has told her that she couldn't know by watching. It isn't just that you're not from these parts."

She didn't sound accusing, so Jack wasn't very worried, but he was curious. He moved his hands down along her spine, working out the tension he found there. "Well… so there's something off about me. Is it a bad thing?"

"I don't know. But most referral sheets from my clients don't tell me that they have served as a military officer on Earth-That-Was. Nor do most clients tell me that they are older than they look. Simon told me the Doctor said the same thing of himself when he was examining River. That he knew their grandmother. And you tell me you worked as a poster boy for the Alliance in a branch they don't have now. But I'm certain the Alliance never had an advertizing campaign involving children. Not yet."

_Damn, I let my mind wander a little when I gave her the psychic paper. _Jack went on rubbing from her neck to her lower back, always gentle.

"You also have a coin from the twenty-first century in near-mint condition," Inara continued. "And according to Mal, you travel with two other people in a blue box scarcely big enough to contain you."

_Three other people... _"So, what does all this mean?"

She turned and propped herself on one elbow so she could look at him. "I think you're from another time. The future, I think, but you've been to the past."

"I'll have to tell the Doctor we need to be more careful where we drop all those hints. But then, you seem more observant than the average human. Soft or hard?" he asked, gently pushing her shoulder until she was lying on her back.

"Soft. So, you are time travelers?"

"Say we are. What would you do?"

"Nothing."

Jack moved his hands up her arms and over her chest, stroking her slowly. "Nothing? Why would you do nothing?"

"Why should I do anything?" she countered. "It frightens me a little, to think of people from the future coming back to our time. But I think it has little to do with me, and the less involved I get, the better off I'll be." She closed her eyes as Jack's practiced hands caressed her breasts.

"You're pretty 'involved' with me right now."

She smiled. "I suppose you could say that."

"Are you afraid of me?"

"I have a healthy respect for you." She opened her eyes. "But no; I'm not afraid of you."

"Is that because you're not sure how long you'll live?"

Her smile changed to a thoughtful frown. "You're not too bad on the observance scale yourself," she said. "But I suppose you probably realized I wouldn't question you so boldly if I had much to lose."

"What's wrong with you?" he asked softly, leaning down to kiss her neck.

"I have a terminal illness. It's a disorder that essentially freezes my outward physicality by draining my vitals inside. In other words, on the outside I appear not to age. Inside, I am dying."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into her ear. "How long do you have?"

"Maybe as much as five years; maybe as little as six months. I thought at first that you might have the same thing. Older than you look, and you've had trouble sleeping for a long time. You didn't so much as blink when I suggested that Gray would be an old man someday—which, if you're older…"

"…would imply that I would be an even older man, if I were still alive. But I didn't even think about that." He pulled back to look at her lovely face. "No… In a way, I'm similar. I age very slowly, but I can't seem to die. I've been killed, but I always come back. I was even blown to pieces in an explosion once, but I grew back from just a head and shoulder."

She looked amazed, but she didn't question the story. "Do you want to die?"

"No. Not as long as I can be any use to anyone. Especially to someone like the Doctor."

Inara put an arm around Jack and pulled herself up to kiss his face. "Let's go to the other room where there's space for both of us," she suggested.

Jack followed her to her roomy bed and got in beside her. Things had not progressed quite how he thought they would, but he didn't think Inara would tell anyone what she had learned. He took in the pleasant atmosphere of the room: its dull candlelight, the smell of nutmeg and the deep reds and purples of the bedding.

He pulled Inara into his arms and planted a kiss next to her eye, then kissed her cheek, and then her mouth. When her lips parted he licked them tentatively. Her tongue met his and he kissed her more deeply. When he slipped his leg between hers, she pulled back.

"Careful," she said quietly.

"Oh, believe me, I know," he answered, smiling. "I've walked the line very dangerously before. I won't pass the point of no return."

"As long as you're sure you know where it is."

He grinned. "I'm sure. I've passed it often enough."

* * *

><p><em>If you skipped: Jack and Inara exchanged massages while he told her about losing Gray and Gray's obsession with hurting Jack. Through her sharp intuition, Inara figured out that Jack and the Doctor were time travelers, but she has no reason to tell anyone their secret. Jack, through his own intuition, discovered that Inara has a terminal illness. Instead of sleeping with her, he asked her to sleep by him, as a compromise between his desires and his respect for the Doctor.<em>

_Again, I know it was long, but I think you can see why I didn't want to split it up. Does this count as lime? If so, it's my first. Hope it turned out okay. ^_^  
><em>


	7. Resurrection

_Some DW spoilers here. Nothing else major. I polished this one off kind of quickly-hope there aren't too many errors._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

_Seven: Resurrection_**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Jack found Mal at the kitchen table and dropped the ten Euro coin in front of him. "Keep the change," he said.<p>

Mal scowled at him. "Listen, you…"

"Don't worry. There's no 'special place in hell' reserved for me," Jack said with a smirk.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Mal muttered.

On his way back to the "guest cabin," Jack ran into Jayne.

"Hey," Jayne greeted him. "So… just out of curiosity—her being a professional and all—how was it?"

"What a thing to ask!" Jack exclaimed. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

Jayne looked away awkwardly and Jack couldn't help smiling. He leaned closer and said in a hushed voice, "It was to die for, man. If you ever save enough money—it's worth every bit."

Jayne returned the smile and there was a gleam in his eye.

Jack had to move on quickly before a laugh escaped him. _Dirty son of a bitch,_ he thought to himself. Though he knew there was a time when he might have asked the same thing.

When he got to the cabin, the Doctor was on his bunk, looking over some charts. Gray and River were on Gray's bunk, playing with a toy that jumped with butterfly-like flight when they moved their hands near it. It was the first time Jack had heard River laugh.

Gray took one look at Jack and said, "Come on—let's go somewhere else."

River obviously still disliked Jack and made no argument. She moved with astonishing agility to snatch the toy out of the air and led the way past Jack and out of the room.

"Good morning," Jack said to the Doctor.

"Morning," the Doctor answered.

"Are those maps?"

"Star charts."

"Hm."

"I thought maybe we'd revive the Master soon, if that's all right."

"Sure." Jack waited. The Doctor didn't seem likely to speak again, or even look up. "I didn't sleep with her."

The Doctor did a double take. "What? _What?_ I… I thought… but, what did you—oh." He looked Jack over. "You slept by her instead, didn't you?"

Jack nodded.

"But why? I thought this was what you wanted."

"So did I. Then I thought it over and I figured it would be just as good and upset you less."

"Jack…" the Doctor looked very uncomfortable. "Please, don't tell me you did that for me."

"It's not a big deal," Jack protested. "Like I said, it was just as good. I'm a completely satisfied customer. I… thought you'd be pleased about it."

The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He set the charts aside and stood up. "Come here, you."

Jack did as he was told and was wrapped in a firm hug. He smiled and returned the embrace.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said. "I am pleased."

Jack sighed contentedly. He almost squeezed the Doctor before he remembered his friend saying something about the way humans squeeze each other "half to death." He smiled and pressed his face against the Doctor's neck instead.

The Doctor patted Jack's shoulder and retreated. Jack let him go.

"So, shall we see if Mal will take us back to the Tardis?" the Doctor suggested. "I think Gray will be all right here; he's really taken to his little playmate."

"Yeah, how about that?" said Jack. "She has quite an effect on him."

"A good one, yeah. And I don't think it's a good idea for Gray to meet the Master straight off."

"You're probably right."

* * *

><p>Kaylee volunteered to shuttle Jack and the Doctor back to the Tardis after Mal's unfavorable reaction ("There's <em>another<em> one of you in that little box?").

"Sure is small," she said when she saw it. "Pretty close quarters, right? How the hump do you steer that thing?"

Jack hid a grin at her vulgar period slang. The Doctor didn't seem to know or care about it.

"She may not look like much on the outside, but she's the absolute best transport anyone could ask for."

"If you say so. Can I take a look at her works?"

"Well…"

"Oh, why not, Doctor?" Jack said. "No one will believe her back at the _Serenity._"

"I suppose," the Doctor said, "but only if you promise—absolutely _promise_—not to touch anything."

"I wouldn't hurt a thing," Kaylee protested. "But fine. I promise."

Jack prepared himself for Kaylee's shocked expression, for her statement that it was "bigger on the inside…" But instead, Kaylee shrieked, ran to the far side of the control column, turned back to look at it, jumped in the air and grinned.

"It's amazing! It's shiny! It's so shiny." She stepped up to the central column, reached out and then pulled her hand back quickly. "Not touching—I'm not touching. I forgot for a second, that's all. It is. SO. Shiny!"

"God, I think she loves the Tardis even more than you do, Doctor," Jack said.

The Doctor was dumbfounded. "Well… yeah. Shiny? Is that the word for 'cool' in this century?"

"Something like."

"So, where's your friend? Are there more rooms? Oh, look, a door…"

"I said," interrupted the Doctor, "that you could see 'the works.' These are the works. You stay here. Jack? See she doesn't touch anything."

"You're going back there by yourself?"

"Um… yup. He's dead. What's he gonna do?"

Kaylee gave them a bewildered look. "Your friend's a stiff?"

"Long story," said Jack.

The Doctor hurried down the halls until he reached the cryogen lockers. He opened the Master's smaller chamber and hauled his stiff body to the larger one they had kept Gray in.

"Okay, yeah… could have used Jack here," the Doctor grunted, half carrying, half dragging the Master through the doorway. He heaved the corpse onto the narrow pallet and looked him over carefully. "All right," he panted. He leaned down and kissed the Master's forehead. "Oh, lord, that's cold. Lucky my lips are so dry—wouldn't want to get frozen to you. Jack'd get a laugh out of that."

He retreated from the chamber and closed the door. He waited impatiently as the chamber brought the Master's body temperature back to normal. Then he took out a metal capsule and opened the chamber again. "All right," he said to the tube. "I've got you programmed to my species, so you should be able to do a proper job on him. No mistakes." He opened the end and shook out a shimmering glow towards the Master. Then he stepped back out and sealed the chamber.

Nothing seemed to change, but the Doctor knew that the tiny robots were hard at work, restoring blood flow, restarting two hearts and repairing a bullet wound.

He hadn't given himself a chance to plan what he would say. This was a minor worry in the back of his mind as he saw the Master's chest begin to rise and fall with regular breathing. _I'll just play it by ear._

Then the Master opened his eyes and gasped. He blinked rapidly. Then his mouth twitched upward in a slight smile. He looked around. His eyes came to rest on the Doctor's face in the window and his smile disappeared. He turned his head away and closed his eyes again.

"Why can't you leave me alone?"

This was better than the Doctor had expected. "Well, that's it exactly. I can't. We're the only ones left."

Then the Master sat up suddenly. "Wait. Wait a bloody moment."

"What is it?"

"Shush. Shut up and listen."

Bewildered, the Doctor listened.

After a few moments, the Master said, "It's so quiet."

"Yeah, that's what happens when no one talks—it gets quiet."

"You senseless popinjay, it's gone. It's so silent you can hear the silence."

The Doctor frowned. "What are you…" then his eyes widened. "Oh. Yes, I thought that might happen."

"What did you do? How did you bring me back?"

"Nanogenes."

"You mean those Chula microbots? Where did you get them?"

"Never mind that—the point is those nanogenes have been in my possession for some time. They're used to repairing my wounds. My maladies. And there's no drumming in _my_ head."

The Master's eyes darted back and forth around his small confinement, anywhere but at the Doctor. "You… you really stopped it."

"You're free now."

The Master laughed dryly. "Oh, am I? Is that why I'm locked in this sardine tin?"

"You don't have to be. I'll give you more space to move about at least, and if things go well I'll let you leave the Tardis."

"Oh, are we in your Tardis?" the Master smiled. "Lovely old thing. Does it still look like a police box? Can't seem to get that damn cloaking device fixed, eh? So, you're planning to housebreak me like a pet? I can come out of the kennel and if I don't piddle on your slippers, you'll take me for walkies?"

"Oh, shut up!" the Doctor nearly shouted. But somehow he managed to keep his own mouth shut instead. "Don't you understand?" he asked quietly. "There's no more drumming. You can be well and whole, and things can be all right."

"And I'll be your stooge. Your little sidekick." The Master smiled and leaned back against the wall.

"No. Remember what I told you? I forgave you what you did and now we can start again. This could be our Tardis. _Our Tardis."_ He paused, thinking over the significance of what he had just said. "Think of it… the two of us piloting her together. The Master and the Doctor. Not master and servant. Friends."

The Master's eyes narrowed. "You always were a trifle sentimental, weren't you?"

"Oh, come on. Can you stop being cynical for a moment? Think about it."

The Master stood and steadied himself with a hand on the wall.

"Hey, careful. You're not too steady yet."

The Master crossed to the door and looked into the Doctor's eyes, just inches away. "Say my name," he said.

The Doctor returned his gaze without blinking. "You say mine first," he answered in a strong, low voice.

"Very good," the Master approved. "You've got the upper hand now—no groveling from you." He crossed his arms and propped them on the door, just under the window, bringing their faces even closer together. "If I say your name, will you let me out of here?"

The Doctor briefly considered opening the door suddenly, so the Master would take a humiliating fall to the floor, but he dismissed the idea. "Soon," he said. "I want you out here with me. But I've got to be sure of you first.

"I've got a couple of friends waiting in the control room, so I'll just go discuss things with them, but I'll be back in a tick for your answer." He turned away.

"Doctor."

The Doctor froze and looked back. "Master." They stared at each other a moment longer. Then the Doctor made his way back to the others.

* * *

><p>"Sure, Simon's a nice kid," Jack was saying, "but he doesn't know ships like I do. Maybe he could crash-land the <em>Serenity<em> in an emergency, but he wouldn't know where to start in a ship like this."

To the Doctor's annoyance, Jack's flirting seemed to be working on Kaylee. She was smiling brightly at him, and they were standing suspiciously close.

"Jack," the Doctor said in a warning tone as he entered the room.

"There you are," Jack said, turning a pleasant smile on him. "Is he alive?"

"And kicking."

"Disagreeable as ever?"

"Nearly. But he did say my name."

"Um… and that's good, huh?"

"It'd be bad if he hadn't," the Doctor clarified. "You see, in Timelord society, refusing to use someone's proper name is a sign of disrespect. It's not so much a good sign as a lack of a bad sign."

"What society?" Kaylee asked.

"Some other time, sweetheart," Jack told her.

"Cut it out," the Doctor grumbled.

"Hey, I don't mind," Kaylee said, smiling.

"Yeah, I know. Look, I can't let him leave the Tardis yet, but I think he's really considering his options. I think I should stay here with him for a few days. Then, if Gray's doing well we can put the cuffs on the Master instead."

"Gray's not going to like being on the _Serenity_ with me and not you," Jack pointed out. "I think we should all stay in the Tardis for now."

"But that would take him away from River, and I think she's really good for him."

"Just bring River over here during the day," Kaylee suggested. "I'll shuttle her."

"What about Simon?" asked Jack. "He won't like letting her go so far from him."

"I might be able to talk him into it. It's worth a try."

"You just want another chance to look at my ship," the Doctor accused her with a smile.

"Who wouldn't? She's gorgeous."

"No arguments there. Let's see what Simon says, then." He paused. "That's funny. 'Simon says.'"

"That's a great game," said Jack. "I had a boy friend who loved to play that…"

"I can just imagine. Come on—Simon says 'back to the shuttle.'"

* * *

><p>As predicted, Simon didn't like the suggestion, but Kaylee proved very persuasive.<p>

"I've been in their ship and it's shiny," she told him as she prepared to shuttle the Doctor, Jack, Gray and River back to the Tardis. "So great! River will love it. And I'll stay until I'm sure she'll be happy there. If not, I'll just bring her back. No harm done."

His brow creased with worry, Simon turned to his sister. "Don't stay there unless it's absolutely safe," he told her.

River smiled and interlaced her fingers with Gray's. "You worry too much."

"And you," Simon directed at Gray, "If anything happens to her, you won't have a prayer. You won't be able to run or hide. I will find you."

"Hey," Jack interrupted, "They're going to be supervised very closely. There's no need for all the threats."

"I won't let anything happen to her," the Doctor added. "Kaylee will bring her back tonight. It'll be fine."

Jack spotted Inara just inside the _Serenity_ and went to say goodbye to her. "I hope we'll be able to come back soon. Right now, circumstances won't allow us to stay."

She nodded. "This other person in your ship—he's a time traveler, too?"

"Yes. He's more like the Doctor, but he's got an attitude problem. We can't let him over here yet. But he's well contained—River won't be in any danger from him."

"Goodbye for now, then," she said, taking his hand. "I wish you well."

Jack leaned forward and kissed her gently.

"Stop it," the Doctor called in his annoyed tone. "We'd like to get going sometime today—just waiting for you, Captain."

Jack grinned. "Goodbye," he told Inara. He hurried back to the others.

Kaylee whistled at Jack. "If I were you, I'd look around for Mal before I kissed Inara out in the open."

"She's not his property," Jack shrugged.

* * *

><p>River looked around the control room, holding Gray's hand tightly.<p>

"It's okay," Gray told her. "It's completely safe."

"The dimensions are relative," River said.

"Give that girl a medal!" the Doctor exclaimed.

"What does she mean?" asked Kaylee.

"It's the genius way of saying 'it's bigger on the inside,'" Jack told her.

Slowly, River made her way around the room to the door at the far side, Gray in tow.

"I'll just show you which rooms you can go into," the Doctor said, hurrying after them.

Jack walked Kaylee back to the shuttle. "You're welcome to stick around and visit for a while," he said, charming smile firmly in place.

"Oh, I'd better get back and tell Simon that River's all right. But thanks for the offer." She stood on tiptoe and kissed Jack's cheek. "Seeya soon, Cap."

* * *

><p>"This is where you'll be staying, Gray," the Doctor said, pointing out one of his many guest rooms. "This over here is Jack's room—I suggest you leave him alone, unless you can be civil. This room here is off-limits, and this one… and that."<p>

"What's this one?" Gray asked, pointing to the door of the cryogen room.

"Off-limits. The Master's in there."

"Who is he again?"

"Timelord. Nasty piece of work. Nearly destroyed the Earth. Well, he did, really. But then we undid what he'd done. He killed Jack several times and did god-knows-what else to him. Turned me into an old man. Killed lots of humans, including children."

"He's very bad," River observed, staring at the door.

"Well… I'm hoping that's going to change very soon."

"He's lost."

The Doctor searched River's face. "Is he saying anything?"

She shook her head. "Lost," she repeated.

"If he does say anything you can make out, would you tell me, please?"

"Yes."

"Good girl."

"What'd I miss?" Jack asked, coming up behind them.

"We were talking about the Master. I was making sure they understood that they weren't to go in this room."

"When you're ready to let him out, I do have another set of cuffs."

"You do?"

"Not the same kind, though." Jack reached deep into one of his coat pockets and pulled out two metal rings with two smaller rings set into each of them. "When they're like this, they seem pretty normal. But if I do this…" Jack snapped one of the rings together so that the circle was complete. His hands fell in front of him and his face became lined with effort. "…they suddenly weigh over a hundred pounds." He put his index fingers through the cuff's two smaller rings and pulled it apart again.

"Pretty harsh handicap," the Doctor observed.

"Yeah, it is. Wish I had another set of the other kind, but I haven't had a chance to get more."

"I'll consider it as a final resort."

"Mind if I go in and talk to him?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

Jack shrugged. "See if he's still the same warped bastard he was when I knew him.

"I don't think it's a good idea, but… if you want to, I guess there's no danger." The Doctor put a hand on Jack's arm. "Just _don't open the door._ For any reason."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Well, of course not. Sheesh."

* * *

><p><em>Minor cliff-hanger; just to get your curiosity up. ;)<br>_


	8. The Breaking Point

_Minor DW spoilers here, and hints of Torchwood._

_Major adult material of the mentally scarring kind. If you want to skip the worst section, I've marked the beginning of it with some asterisks (**). Skip down to the break after that. There's a summary after the end of the chapter.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Eight: The Breaking Point

* * *

><p>"I didn't really expect to see you again," the Master said, when he saw Jack peering in at him. "But then, I s'pose it's inevitable, considering your death mechanism's defective. Bound to run into you eventually."<p>

Jack didn't answer. He just stared.

"You just gonna stand there or what?" the Master seemed somewhat annoyed. "Am I an exposition at the local zoo, then? Here on display for your viewing pleasure? Mind you, I think you did enjoy watching me before. Didn't you?"

Jack's jaw twitched.

The Master smiled. He stood and went to stand in front of Jack. "Don't let it bother you. What's not to like, after all? You even voted for me. I think you got to like it when I killed you, the way you asked for it sometimes. Did you enjoy it?"

Jack turned and walked away.

"Pleasant chatting," the Master said. "Do drop by again."

* * *

><p>"I guess it was too much to hope he'd be a nice guy if he didn't have drumming in his head," Jack said, taking a bite of the multi-flavored sandwich cube he had produced from the Tardis' food dispenser.<p>

It had been a few days, and though the Master had a whole room to himself now, the Doctor still kept him behind a sealed door. Gray hadn't shown much change either; he played unusual games with River or read books from the Doctor's exhaustive library, always keeping distance between himself and Jack.

"Yes, but I do think he's got a much better shot without it," the Doctor replied. "Gray's doing all right without the cuffs, so maybe soon we can start using them on the Master. In the meantime, we've got a more immediate problem."

"What's that?"

"River told me she wants to stay here overnight. I don't mind at all, but I don't think Simon will stand for it."

Jack frowned. "No, probably not. Why does River want to stay over?"

"She says Kaylee shouldn't have to make the trip over here every day; it's a waste of fuel."

"That makes sense. And it's not like she and Gray want to sleep together."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "You're sure about that?"

"Of course. All they've done is run around holding hands and playing together—that doesn't constitute evidence of a romantic attraction—not in my culture, anyway."

"That's all they've done in front of _us,_" the Doctor corrected. "You know we haven't kept them in sight every moment."

Jack smiled and shook his head. "Just trust me on this—he's not acting like a guy in love. He's acting like a kid with a new best friend."

"All right, but you'll have a hard time convincing Simon, just the same."

"Let River do the convincing."

"Worth a try, I s'pose."

* * *

><p>River stood in the transmitter beam as if she were on stage. When Simon's holographic face appeared in front of her, she smiled at him.<p>

"How are you doing?" Simon asked.

"I'm doing well," River answered. "The Doctor and Gray are very nice and Jack leaves me alone."

"What about their other friend?"

"The Master stays in his room. I don't see him."

"Are you staying out of trouble?"

She rolled her eyes. "There's no trouble to get into here."

"Sure, sure. Kaylee says the ship is bigger inside than it looks outside."

River nodded. "It has relative dimensions. The size of the outside does seem relatively small compared with the inside."

"That's pretty advanced technology. Do you understand how it works?"

"How, yes. But not why."

Simon smiled. "Oh well. You're still light years ahead of me."

"Kaylee shouldn't take the shuttle back and forth every day."

"She doesn't mind."

"It's a waste of fuel. I'll just stay over here."

Simon's smile faded. "I don't think that's a good idea. I want you to keep checking in with me each night."

"There's a doctor here, too; he can make sure I'm all right and make scans and give you reports."

"It's not the same."

"And we can talk like this every day."

"How long do you think you want to stay there?"

River shrugged. "Until the crew decides about the Reavers, I suppose."

It took a few moments for Simon to consider. "How about if we try it for a night and see how it goes?"

"All right."

"And…"

"Stop worrying about Gray. He won't hurt me. He wouldn't."

"I know you believe that, but promise me you'll be careful anyway."

"Fine."

* * *

><p>The Doctor gave River a room for her own use, and she took to it quickly. She let Gray inside, but only during the day. When the Doctor came to talk with her, she met him outside, protecting her new lair.<p>

After two nights in the Tardis, River came to find the Doctor in his own quarters. Just as protective of his privacy as she was of hers, the Doctor came out to meet her.

"The Master is alone," River told him.

"Yes…" the Doctor said, not following.

"He doesn't want to be alone anymore."

"Oh, I see. Thank you."

The Doctor hurried down the corridors until he came to the room where the Master was residing. He knocked on the door.

"Please, come in," came the Master's voice in an exaggeratedly gracious tone.

The Doctor unlocked the door with his sonic screwdriver, entered and locked the door behind him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just thought you might like company."

The Master eyed the Doctor suspiciously. "Well, I can't be much of a host under these conditions."

"Would you like some more books?" the Doctor asked, noticing the pile on the floor by the Master's bed.

"Not really. But I suppose so. There's nothing else to do. But then, I've read most of the good ones already, and all that's left is those idiotic human fiction books—how can you read those?"

"They're excellent!"

The Master shook his head and smiled slightly. "Doctor, Doctor. You've lost touch with your own kind. You're starting to think you are human, yourself."

"Well, that's what I've got you for, innit?"

"You tell me. I've been wondering: How long was I dead?"

"Depends on how you count time. I reckon it was less than six months—Earth's lunar calendar, that is."

"What happened to Lucy?"

The Doctor was surprised. He hadn't expected the Master to give any thought to the human woman he had married. "Do you miss her?" he asked gently.

"Don't be absurd. She killed me. I'm merely curious."

Not wanting to go into the story of the Master's return by means of the ritual performed by his cult following, the Doctor answered, "She was incarcerated. She ended up sabotaging your plan to come back."

"You don't think I was really in love with her, do you?"

"I don't know. She seemed quite devoted to you."

"She was in love with my status and power. Yes, she was devoted—she would do anything for me. That's why she was such a good pawn. We made a good team: Me and my little human toy."

The Doctor knew that the Master was baiting him, trying to make him disgusted and angry. He refused to let his anger show. But that only made the Master push harder.

"We never shared the intimacy of a husband and wife," the Master said, his devious eyes seeming to pierce the other Timelord. "She gladly served me from her place—on the floor."

The Doctor knew his anger was showing plainly now. He struggled to remember what River had told him. The Master didn't want to be alone. But in that case, why was he making his presence so impossible to endure?

"Master," he said quietly, "there's no reason to discuss what is over. You don't have to impose yourself on anyone or try to hurt people to make them pay you attention. I'm here, and I want to know you. The person you're becoming now."

The Master's piercing gaze lost its keen edge and he looked away.

"You don't have to be alone," the Doctor went on. "You and I have been battling so long, through so many centuries. It's time to stop this."

"It's not in my nature to let you win."

"I don't want to win. Why does it have to be about winning?"

"I suppose the humans have got you thinking 'it's how you play the game.'"

The Doctor stepped closer to the Master and put a hand on his arm. "It's not a game. It never was."

"Don't. Touch. Me," the Master growled.

With a sigh, the Doctor took his hand away. "I'm sorry," he said. _I'm sorry you can't accept kindness. I'm sorry you're keeping yourself so alone when it's the last thing you want. I'm sorry you grew up with the sound of drums in your head, enough to drive anyone mad. I'm so sorry._

The Master's look was cold, but the Doctor thought he was hiding something else.

"I want to help you."

"Yes, I know. You're the Doctor. That's what you do. But I think this case is beyond your skill."

"Maybe so." He walked back to the door. "I'll bring you more books," he said softly before leaving.

* * *

><p>Jack had just settled down for the night when there was a knock at the door.<p>

"Come in," he called, propping himself up on his elbows.

The door opened, and to his surprise it was Gray's silhouette in the doorway.

"I want to talk to you."

"Sure," said Jack. He reached for the light.

"Let's leave it dark," Gray said quickly. He stepped inside and closed the door.

In the near-pitch blackness, Jack saw Gray go to the hook where his captain's coat was hanging.

"Where the hell did you get this thing, anyway?"

"World War Two—old Earth captain's coat."

"Did you fight?"

"Yes."

"On which side?"

Jack didn't answer, not sure whether Gray was trying to lighten the mood with a joke, or whether he was trying to antagonize him.

Gray crossed the room and sat on the edge of Jack's bed. He felt his way down Jack's arm and grasped his hand. "Tell me… how easy is it for my hand to slip out of yours?"

Jack felt as if an ice-cold needle were piercing his heart. "Gray, I can't be any sorrier."

"Answer me," Gray said, his voice low and harsh.

"I don't know," Jack said, breathing heavily. "I was young and scared… it was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me—losing you."

Something cold touched Jack's wrist. There was a metallic _snap_ in the darkness, and he suddenly felt his wrist weighed down by more than a hundred pounds. Before he could decide how to react, Gray had found and cuffed his other wrist.

_The coat. They were in the coat. He knew that. This is what he came here for._ Jack felt sort of panic rising in him, a strange feeling he had never felt before. "Gray…"

(****)

"Tell me the truth. How long did you search?"

"Seven years."

"Fulfilled your duty before the planet declared me dead? You never used to play by the rules." Gray pulled Jack's sheets back.

"Mom couldn't take it anymore. She convinced me to stop."

Gray put a hand on Jack's chest and raked his nails down to his waist, leaving deep scratches. "Don't you dare blame her."

Jack gasped in pain. The scratches began to heal immediately, but the sting lingered. "Gray, please…"

"That's it—beg. Beg like I begged. I begged them not to hurt the other hostages. I begged them to kill me. I begged them not to rape me anymore." Gray put a fresh set of scratches across Jack's chest.

Tears ran from the corners of Jack's eyes. "If I could go back and let them take me instead, I would."

"No, you wouldn't. You were scared then, but now you know. You know how horrible they were. No one would give themselves up to that; not even you." Gray leaned down, close to Jack's face. "Tell me you're sorry."

There weren't words strong enough to tell Gray the agony of guilt Jack had gone through. What could he possibly say? "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He felt Gray's hands on his face, then tipping his head back. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you more than anything."

Gray slapped him hard. "Liar. Tell the truth." His hands clawed their way down, drawing blood. He leaned forward to lick the blood from Jack's chest.

Jack shuddered. _No, please don't do this._

"You finally have me back and what do you do? You have yourself a grand time flying around the universe with your Timelord friend, sleep with a beautiful companion…"

"I only stayed away from you because I thought it was what you wanted."

"I want you dead, not away. But you've ruined that, too. You won't die." Gray punched Jack in the stomach.

Jack grimaced in pain. He struggled to get his breath back.

"Better yet, I want the brother I thought you were," Gray went on. "Remember? The one who promised to stick by me? The one Dad trusted to keep me safe?"

"I know I failed you," Jack gasped. "I wasn't the brother you should have had. I'm sorry."

"Not sorry enough." Gray climbed onto the bed, one arm around Jack, one leg on top of him. "These Reavers, you know what they do? They might cut your skin off you while you're still alive, so you can watch them make their clothes out of it." He dug his nails deep into Jack's neck.

Jack couldn't help releasing a yell, but he managed to keep it small.

"Or they might just take a bite out of you."

"Gray—!"

Gray bit down hard on Jack's shoulder and licked at the blood that flowed.

Jack moaned. He knew the pain wouldn't last long, but knowing who had delivered it and why made it excruciating.

"Or, if you're lucky," Gray said in a slow, cold whisper, "they'll rape you to death first."

"Gray, don't."

The hands were moving down Jack's body, pulling the sheets further down, then pulling back his shorts.

"Oh, god, Gray, don't!" Jack had never felt so helpless. He strained to lift his arms, but the cuffs were so heavy, his feeble movements couldn't have done anything to help him. "Gray, please!"

"Tell me you love me," Gray ordered again.

A steady stream of tears was making its way down both sides of Jack's face and pooling under his ears, soaking the bedclothes. "You are everything to me. I'll give you whatever you want, but not this. Please, Gray. Don't do this. For God's sake, you're my brother! You'll regret this someday, I know. For your own sake, stop."

"Would you rather I brought your friend in here and raped him in front of you? The person you really _do_ love?"

Jack froze. He couldn't speak. If the Doctor got involved in this, he would never forgive himself.

"Tell me you love me."

Jack closed his eyes. "I love you."

Gray pressed his mouth against Jack's, and his hands completed their journey. He forced his tongue into Jack's mouth and moved on top of his brother.

_Dear God, he's completely lost his mind. I was so wrong… he's mad. Please, stop this…_

* * *

><p>The Doctor woke suddenly, with River Song's face lingering in his mind. He had been dreaming something about the library and Donna. Then River had come to warn him about something. Something terrible…<p>

"River?"

"Doctor."

The Doctor got up and went quickly to open his door where he found River Tam waiting for him. "River, what is it?"

"Jack is in danger."

Without waiting for further explanation, the Doctor retrieved his sonic screwdriver and the electric restraining cuffs and ran away down the hall. He didn't stop as he reached Jack's door, but unlatched it with his screwdriver as he approached and kicked it open. He turned on the lights, expecting to find Jack's bed empty. Finding it occupied by both brothers shocked him beyond words for a moment. Then he exploded.

"What the hell are you doing? Get off him!"

Gray looked up and the Doctor saw blood around his mouth. There was a wild look in his eyes, like that of a wounded animal.

_Good god, what's happened to him?_ The Doctor rushed forward and snapped Gray's cuff onto his wrist. "Out!" he ordered. "Now."

Gray silently marched from the room in front of the Doctor, who kept his sonic screwdriver at the ready.

_What happened? How could this happen? I'll kill him. I swear, if he weren't Jack's brother, I'd kill him._ The Doctor tried to think of something fit to say to his captive. Nothing seemed harsh enough. When they got to Gray's room he shoved him inside and mechanically removed the cuff in the usual way—he wanted to tear it from Gray's wrist.

"Understand this," he said, his voice barely holding steady. "You are still alive _only_ because Jack loves you. Remember that."

"Doctor—"

"NO, SIR!" the Doctor roared. "You will not speak to me! Stay here in absolute silence. Maybe that way I won't remember you're alive and come back to kill you." He stepped out of the room, slammed the door and locked it before running back the way he had come.

* * *

><p>Jack had curled up as much as his restraints would allow. The Doctor removed the weighted cuffs from Jack's wrists and pulled him into his arms. He held him tightly, kissing his neck and whispering his name in his ear.<p>

"I'm so sorry, Jack. I'm so, so sorry. I wish there were something I could do."

"He's my brother. My own brother…"

"Shh," the Doctor tried to comfort him. "He's been driven mad. There's nothing we can do."

"No, we can't give up on him," Jack said shakily. "He just doesn't understand. You were right, Doctor—he's still a child inside. He needs help. We can't stop trying."

The Doctor loosened his hold so he could look at Jack's face. "You've shown him nothing but compassion and he's responded by raping you."

"He didn't rape me."

"Close enough, damn it! I don't know what counts in your society, but this counts in my book! I'm sorry, but you've got to let him go. You've got to. I can't have him in the Tardis anymore."

Immediately, the Doctor wished he'd spoken more carefully. He could see the pain on Jack's face.

"Take us home, then. Take us back to the Boeshane Peninsula. I'll take care of him."

"Jack… he's not human."

"I gave up on him once; I'm not doing that again. I love him. How can I say I love him if I give up?"

The Doctor held Jack's face gently in his hands. He could see that his friend's mind would not be changed. "Look, I… I'll talk to him. I'll see if I think he can improve. But… I didn't tell you this before, because I didn't think much of it, but he hurt River the day they met. I don't think he intended to, but he can't seem to control himself. I wish to God I'd been more careful after that."

"He can get better," Jack said firmly. "I know he can."

"Well, I'll try." The Doctor started to get up, but Jack took him by the arms.

"Don't go. Not yet. You need to calm down before you talk to him. And I need you here. Please."

The Doctor settled back on the edge of the bed. He pulled Jack's tee shirt off the bedpost and held it out to him.

Jack pulled the shirt over his head the Doctor positioned himself at his side, one arm around him with the lightest of grips, so Jack wouldn't feel trapped.

"Thank you," Jack whispered, closing his eyes.

The Doctor kissed Jack's forehead softly and prepared to wait out the night, knowing there was no chance of his getting back to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>If you skipped: Gray interrogated Jack, demanding that he express how sorry he was and that he loved Gray, even though Gray's mind was made up not to believe him. He scratched and bit Jack and forced sexual intimacy on him until the Doctor came to his rescue.<em>

_Sorry if I scarred anyone's mind. This wasn't easy to write. I am predominantly a happy ending type of person, though, so don't worry. Things will get better.  
><em>


	9. Recovery

_Nothing too major in this one; no new spoilers._

_One warning: Jack makes a gay joke. This is not intended to be an indication of Jack's prejudice against gays (or mine).  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Nine: Recovery_  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack's awareness began with the weight of something warm across his ribcage. He reached up and discovered that it was an arm. When he rested his hand on it, some gentle fingers brushed his forearm in response. He opened his eyes and followed the length of the arm with his eyes until he reached the Doctor's face.<p>

"Good morning," the Doctor said quietly. He was sitting propped against the wall behind the bed, curled in slightly, toward Jack.

_I want to wake up to this every morning for the rest of my life,_ Jack thought. Then he remembered why the Doctor was there, and why he looked so grave. _It wasn't a nightmare. Oh, god…_ His anxiety must have shown because the Doctor gently pulled him closer. Jack took it as an invitation and held on to the Doctor tightly.

"Oh, Jack," the Doctor sighed. "I'm so sorry." He rubbed Jack's back. "Are you hurt?"

Jack shook his head. "Pain doesn't last for me; you know that."

"He did hurt you, though."

Jack chose to remain silent. The Doctor was angry enough with Gray. He didn't need to know how Gray had torn at him and licked up his blood.

"Is there anything I can do?

_No, probably not. Unless you could just stay here forever._ Jack shook his head and rested it against the Doctor's chest, soothed by the constant beating of the two hearts.

The Doctor kept completely still. After a while, he said, "I should have been more careful. I thought too much of River's influence on him."

"Don't blame yourself. Please, don't. I think he would have found a way to get to me anyway. He may be unhinged, but he's smart. What made you come to my room? Were you still up and heard something?"

"No. I'd actually gone to sleep for a change. River woke me and told me you were in danger."

"River? I thought she hated me."

"She doesn't. I think she's a little scared of you, and you unsettle her understanding of the universe, that's all. She'll have to go back to the _Serenity _now_._ We can't take any chance of her being harmed."

Jack didn't like that; it sounded like Gray was now labeled a serial killer just because he had decided to hurt his brother. But he didn't protest.

"Jack…" the Doctor moved away and slowly reached up to touch Jack's face. "You don't have to talk about it. But you can if you need to."

"I'm okay," Jack said, avoiding the Doctor's eyes. _I don't even know if I need to. I don't think so…_ He felt an uncomfortable squirm in his stomach. _I don't want you to know any more than you do now. It's more than enough._

"All right. But if you do need to." The Doctor sat up and gave Jack's shoulder a pat. "I'll go and see him now I'm calm. Take your time getting up."

Jack waited until the Doctor had closed the door; then he gathered his clothes and headed for the shower in the adjoining bathroom. His skin was tight where dried sweat and saliva were constricting it and keeping it from its natural stretching just enough to be felt. It was time to wash away the last evidence of his ordeal.

* * *

><p>The Doctor found River in front of Gray's door. She was sitting on the floor with her palms on the door.<p>

"River, come away," he said softly.

"Let me see him."

"I can't do that; I'm sorry."

"He's sorry."

The Doctor eyed her suspiciously. "You're not just saying that to try to help him, are you?"

She shook her head. "He's hurt. Lost."

"All right, I'll take your analysis under consideration. Now, please—I need you to leave."

"I want to see him."

"I'm afraid that's impossible." He paused. "Can you hear Jack's thoughts?"

"No—I never could."

"What?"

She looked up at him with her large, brown eyes. "Everyone else—constant chatter. Jack—only what he's saying out loud in his head. Only the now."

"Are you saying you can hear only what Jack's thinking in words, but with everyone else you can hear their subconscious thoughts as well?"

"Sort of."

The Doctor was bewildered. "What's the difference, then?"

"It's as if… he's dead."

"Is that why you knew he didn't belong?"

"And other things."

"Is he thinking in words now?"

"He loves Gray."

The Doctor sighed. "That's it? That's all he's thinking?"

"That's loudest. He's sad."

"Bound to be for a while, I expect. Now, River: Please go along and let me talk to Gray on my own? It would be a big help."

With obvious reluctance, River obeyed.

The Doctor unlocked the door and let himself in.

Gray was sitting on the floor, facing the door. His eyes followed the Doctor.

"River says you're sorry," the Doctor said, watching Gray's face.

"Does she know?"

"I haven't given you permission to speak," the Doctor snapped. He wanted to go kick Gray while he was at a disadvantage, but he controlled himself. "I'm not sure whether she knows quite what happened. But she knows Jack was hurt, and she knows it's your fault."

Gray's expression remained cold.

"If you want to leave this room anytime soon, you're going to have to show some development in character. And so help me, if you try to fake good behavior you won't fool me this time. I'm a patient man, but I'm a no-second-chances sort of man, too." He crouched in front of Gray and looked him in the eye. "If you ever hurt Jack again, I will make you so sorry. I suppose you think you've been through the worst trauma you ever could be, but you're wrong. Do. Not. Push me. Because I may just snap, too."

Gray held the Doctor's gaze, but there was something new in his eyes now. Something like a rational respect for the man threatening him.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now, let's talk." The Doctor pulled a chair toward Gray and sat in it. "What made you think that taking out your anger on Jack would undo the pain you suffered at the hands of these Reavers, or whoever they were?"

"They were only part of it. He should have kept looking. I needed him."

"And raping him helps you how?"

"He needs to feel what he did to me."

The Doctor gripped the arms of the chair to keep himself from hitting Gray. "Jack didn't do anything to you. What happened to you was the last thing Jack wanted, but your treatment of him was deliberate. How dare you do something like that to your own brother? How could you?"

Gray stared at the floor. "All my life," he said quietly.

"What?"

"All my life, he's been better. I had a tiny edge with Dad—he liked me just a little bit better. But Jack was the star. Mom doted on him."

The Doctor held his breath. Gray hadn't told him anything like this before. He waited and let Gray continue.

"He always wanted everything he couldn't have. I knew he wanted to be Dad's favorite, too. He wanted to be the only son. So, when the chance came along, right in front of him…. Who would know it wasn't an accident? We fell down in the sand. He got up and ran without me. He didn't even try to help me up. He got a safe distance away and then sneaked back, pretending to look for me. But he knew he was safe. I was long gone by then."

It was all the Doctor could do to keep from shouting, "That's not true!" But he had to wait; had to hear the rest of Gray's story.

"I guess he thought they'd kill me or take me far away where I'd never be heard from again. Who cared, as long as he got his way? I thought for a while that it was a mistake, that he'd come looking for me. But he didn't come. I know now that he wasn't really trying to find me. He didn't want to. He's a liar. River knows. Jack Harkness—he won't even use the name we shared."

It sounded too contrived. But looking at Gray's eyes and hearing his voice, the Doctor knew that this was the real reason Gray hated Jack. He really believed that Jack had tried to murder him by putting him in harm's way, and that things had gone even worse for Gray than Jack had hoped. He believed that Jack had wished the thousand horrors of the Reavers on him.

"It might have worked. But he made one mistake," Gray said with a dry smile. "He used the story of losing me to make people feel sorry for him. He told John Hart about me, and John decided to save me. Jack says he looked for me for seven years—it took John less than a year to find me. Don't tell me that Jack really tried to find me. It shouldn't have taken him so long—not unless he's completely incompetent."

"Gray," the Doctor said, leaning forward, "are you listening to yourself? You think you've got it all worked out—that Jack was plotting against you when he was just a child, that he intentionally lost you, hoping you'd be killed or unable to return, that he reveled in the tragedy of your loss and that he piously pretended to search for you… but these ideas were born in your captivity. They began with you. Of course there was rivalry between you as children—that's normal. But if you think Jack could take that rivalry as a justification to kill you, you really don't know your brother at all."

"You're saying that because he's in love with you. You want him to be a good person."

"No; I'm saying that because I've seen the way he grows and changes. I didn't particularly like him when we first met, but he wasn't the evil mastermind you think him. He was a man who was running from a past he thought he could never escape."

"You have a time machine. In all the time you've known him did he ever once ask you to take him back to find me?"

"Jack worked for the Time Agency—he knows that you can't just go round changing events as you please."

"He's a rule-breaker. He always was. If he cared at all about me, he should have tried."

"Maybe he did; I don't know. But listen: You're scrambling about trying desperately to see he stays evil in your mind. Why don't you give him a chance and see all the evidence in his favor for a change? After what you did last night, I wanted to put you off the ship. Maroon you somewhere. But Jack wouldn't have it. He loves you."

"He doesn't love me," Gray countered instantly. "He wants to keep me where he can watch me. He's looking out for his own skin again."

The Doctor cursed under his breath in Gallifreyan. "If Jack wanted to, he could kill you. Could have done a thousand times. But instead, he put you in stasis to wait for a time when he had a friend to help him deal with you. He wants nothing more than to be the brother you wanted. And he may not have rescued you himself, but don't you understand that John found you because he loved Jack? It was Jack's story that made John look for you—Jack's love that saved you."

"Stop." Gray pulled his legs up in front of him and put his arms around them as if he were cold.

"You're in no position to give me orders. If you ever want to leave this room again, you've got to change your attitude." The Doctor stood. "I want to hate you for what you did. But for Jack's sake, you're dear to me."

He heard Gray's gasp of surprise as he turned away. He left the room quickly, not caring to hear anything else Gray might have to say.

* * *

><p>"What are you doing?" the Doctor asked Jack when they met in the hall.<p>

"Going to see Gray."

"Wait a moment… I don't think you better had."

"I need to. Just for a minute."

"I think I should tell you what he told me first."

Jack shook his head. "I don't want to be biased. You can tell me after."

"I'm coming with you."

The Doctor didn't like this. It was much too soon. "What are you going to do?"

"Nothing."

"Well, what will you say?"

"Doctor, please."

They remained silent after that until the Doctor opened Gray's door.

Gray was lying on his back on his bed. When he saw Jack, he scrambled to a sitting position with his back to the wall.

If there were any doubt in the Doctor's mind about Gray believing what he had said, it disappeared now. Gray looked as if he knew Jack had come to kill him. His chest was heaving and his eyes were wide and wild.

"I won't hurt you," Jack told him. "I've never wanted to hurt you and I never will."

Gray's hands were curled into fists so tight his knuckles were white.

"I just want you to know that I forgive you."

The Doctor held his breath. _Jack, he doesn't want to be forgiven. He's not nearly ready._

"Leave me alone," Gray said, his voice shaking.

"All right. I'm sorry." Jack retreated from the room and the Doctor locked it after them.

"You're sorry? What the hell have you got to be sorry for?"

"You saw how scared he was. I don't want him to be afraid of me."

"Jack, he…" _He raped you. And you're worried he's scared of you._ "Are you really able to forgive him so soon? Or are you just so desperate to be close to him that you'll say anything?"

Jack looked as if the Doctor's words had cut him deeply. "Doctor… I know I'm not half the man that you are. But I do try to learn from your example."

"Jack—"

"The whole year that the Master had us captive and he did terrible things to us, all you wanted to tell him was that you forgave him. I took that back to Torchwood with me. It helped me forgive Gray before, after he buried me alive. I love him, and that's so much more important than being angry."

The Doctor looked away, ashamed. "I'm sorry. I think… I think you may have outgrown me in the forgiveness department. I don't think so low of you, though. Right now, I'd say you're the bigger man." He looked up at Jack cautiously.

The corner of Jack's mouth twitched. "Well, size isn't everything."

Before the Doctor could protest at the subtle innuendo, Jack reached out for him and he couldn't refuse his friend's embrace.

"I guess we're both still learning," Jack said.

"Always," the Doctor agreed.

"We're okay?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p>"You look like death warmed over," the Master greeted Jack. "Wait—you look like that all the time."<p>

"Very funny."

"Where'd that girl go—River?"

"Sent her back to her brother."

"Too bad. She was interesting."

"Yeah, all the psychopaths around here like her."

"So, you're much more talkative this time. Anything in particular you want to chat about?"

Jack sat in a chair by the table where the Doctor had recently piled some new books for the Master to read. _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone_ was among them. He smiled. "Just the old days, I guess. The Year that Never Was."

"What about it? It never happened."

"Oh, but it did."

The Master smiled indulgently. "I'm so glad you came by. The Doctor's insufferable and I think you'd make a much better playmate. Not so fragile."

"Fragile? You don't know what you're talking about."

"Hm, it's been a while since anyone told me that. Does the Doctor know you're here?"

"Yes; he's probably spying on us right now."

"Monitoring is not the same as spying," the Doctor's voice came from somewhere in the corner, sounding tinny.

The Master grinned. "Well, as long as he's listening and watching, let's not keep things dull for him. Were you going to complain about how much I killed you during that year? Or was it that I let my subordinates do whatever they liked to you while you were chained up—I think you liked some of that. You should be thanking me."

"Yeah, well, there's just one problem with that," Jack said, narrowing his eyes. "I'm usually a topper. It's kind of hard to top—or do anything for that matter—when you're chained up."

"Oh, but you're so innovative. I'm sure you managed all right."

"How would you like to see how I 'manage' with you?"

"So aggressive!" the Master said, grinning. "I'm almost attracted. _Almost._"

"Good lord, is this all you're going to discuss?" the Doctor's voice asked.

"Weak stomach for eavesdropping?"

"Just a bit bored is all."

"This isn't _Britain's Got Talent,_ Doctor—we're not aiming to entertain you," Jack pointed out.

The Master flashed his eyebrows at Jack in approval. "I like that. But really, my boy, what made you want to see me—other than the obvious?"

"I thought while I was in the mood, I'd come by and tell you I forgive you."

"Oh, not you too," the Master groaned. "Don't you see you're like his little parrot, just repeating whatever he says? I thought you had more style, Jack."

"You think it's easy to forgive someone who killed me and hurt my friends?"

"No idea. I don't recall ever forgiving anyone."

"I'm able to because I know how important you are to the Doctor. I'm not going to hold grudges because I want him to be happy."

"How noble."

"And as soon as you make him _unhappy,_ I'm going to tear you limb from limb."

The Master clapped. "Good speech, good speech! Now, next time you come, I want you to wear that darling coat of yours. And do you like me in a brown suit, or should I try something in blue?"

"I'm omni, not gay," Jack said scornfully.

"Ha ha, well done. But you can't tell me you don't have a preference."

Jack looked the Master over with a critical eye. "No… leather wouldn't suit you."

"Damn. What else?"

"Maybe a tux."

"Ah, I haven't worn a tux in ages. Literally. Pick one out for me?"

"What, now you're playing dress-up?" the Doctor exclaimed.

"Butt out," said the Master. "Anyway, what's that enormous wardrobe there for if you never use it?"

Jack felt himself smiling. Maybe it was just the post-shock giddiness, but for better or worse the Master was starting to seem like a lot of fun. "What are your measurements?"

"You can't tell?"

"Well, my eyes may be playing tricks on me."

"Oh, I think you'll manage. You've sized me up so many times, and I know your imagination's taken care of the rest."

Jack refused to get annoyed. He stood up. "All right—I'll see you later, then."

"I look forward to it."

"You're making it sound like a date," the Doctor protested.

"We know!" Jack and the Master both retorted. They laughed and Jack left the room.

* * *

><p>In the control room, the Doctor leaned against the Tardis, frowning. "What the hell was that?" He pushed away from the controls and headed back into the interior of the ship. He had to put his foot down before things got out of hand.<p>

The Master had actually picked up _Philosopher's Stone_ and begun to read when the Doctor burst into the room.

"Oh, poor Doctor—are you jealous?"

"Listen to me," the Doctor said in a dangerous tone, "I know you think of humans as inferior. And I know you think of Jack as something you can just toy with because he can't die. But that's not how it works. The way you treated him before was deplorable. If you do anything to hurt him now—physically or otherwise—you will answer to me. And then you'll be back in cryogen for a century or two. Do I make myself clear?"

"So passionate."

"This isn't a joke!" The Doctor stood at his full height and looked down at the other Timelord. He saw the fire in his own eyes reflected in the Master's. "Don't you touch him."

The Master returned his gaze for some time. Then he nodded. "I understand. I won't harm your precious undead man. If I touch him, it'll be his choice."

"Don't think you're going to sweep him off his feet just to annoy me. Don't you dare mess with his feelings."

"You seem to think I haven't any of my own."

The Doctor searched the Master's eyes. "Have you? You've certainly kept them well hidden. I won't let you use Jack to hurt me."

"Doctor… it's not always about you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to read this rubbish human fiction you brought me."

* * *

><p><em>O.O omg, what's up wJack? lol That's all for now. More soon, I hope.  
><em>


	10. The Talk

_This one's long... but I think that's a good thing. :p hope you like it. No real spoilers in this one._

_Warning: Some mature content. Shouldn't shock you too badly._

_Disclaimer: The things the Doctor tells Jack in this chapter are not canon; they were made up by me. Er... not sure what that says about me. Hmm. You'll see what I mean._

_My beta also made up an explanation for the joke about dogs with no noses. I think you'll like it. :)  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Ten: The Talk_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"It's so nice of you to accompany me," Inara told the Doctor as they walked into town together.<p>

"Not at all. The Master's complaining that I haven't got any 'real food,' and he's been craving meat. He does that sometimes. Mind you, I'm no vegetarian, but the way he goes at meat sometimes…"

Inara laughed. "Just be careful what you buy. This corner of Barcelona has a wide variety of vendors. Some will cheat you, and some will try to sell you bad meat."

"Thanks for the warning."

"I'm sorry Jack couldn't join us."

"Yes. He sends his regrets."

"Is he all right?"

The Doctor hesitated. "He's well enough."

"I just ask because it seemed so sudden when River came back, and she told Simon you sent her away because of a problem between Gray and Jack. "

"Well, yes."

"You don't have to tell me," Inara said quickly. "It's not my business. I'd just like to know that he'll be okay."

"I think he will, in time. It was… quite a setback for them, though."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's made him reluctant to leave the Tardis. He doesn't want the stress of interacting with outsiders right now." _The more I explain, the less it makes sense…_ The Doctor sighed.

"If there's anything I can do…"

"That's very kind; I'm sure Jack would appreciate it."

"River hasn't been very cooperative since she came back. She keeps telling Simon she wants to see Gray. I think she's pretty upset about it."

"It's not fair to her, but it's just not a good idea right now."

Inara nodded. "It's hard for her to understand circumstances sometimes."

In town, the Doctor found meats of many varieties. He stayed away from the bright red meats, knowing that artificial colors were added to make them look fresher.

"What species is this, anyway?" he asked one vendor.

"Star whale."

"Oh, no!" the Doctor lamented. "Do you realize they'll be hunted to extinction in just a few centuries? That's despicable. Have you got any good old-fashioned bovine?"

Inara, meanwhile, visited the spice shops and a seamstress. When she rendezvoused with the Doctor they both had several bags and packages to carry.

"Look," the Doctor said happily, pointing out one of Barcelona's famous stray dogs. Its nose was roughly three times the size of that of a normal Earth dog. "One of my absolute favorite cultural jokes—Barcelona and its dogs with no noses!"

Inara laughed in appreciation. "The people of Barcelona certainly have found a way to capitalize on sarcasm."

"Yes, they have. Absolutely priceless."

"May I walk back to the Tardis with you?" Inara asked. "Jack might not mind a visitor in familiar surroundings. And Kaylee won't stop talking about your ship—I'm very curious."

"I think that would be all right; but if Jack's not up to it, I'll have to ask you to go without seeing him."

"I understand."

* * *

><p><em>It's not spying… I'm just making sure he's okay,<em> the Doctor lulled his conscience as he watched Jack and Inara sitting in one of the comfortable rooms in the Tardis. He turned up the volume so he could hear their voices clearly.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to go to town with you," Jack said.

"It's all right. The Doctor made a gallant escort."

"I'm sure he did."

The Doctor couldn't help smiling a little.

"Things haven't been going very well between Gray and me."

"I heard. I hope things get better soon."

"Not very likely right now. The Doctor talked to him and Gray said he thinks I lost him purposely—that I wanted him out of the way so I could be an only child."

Inara took Jack's hand. "Why would he believe something like that?"

"I don't know—I guess being alone with those savages so long, suffering so much made him think all sorts of crazy things."

"And he told this to the Doctor—after your setback?"

"Yeah. He… the Doctor wouldn't let him talk to me at first, even if he'd wanted to."

"He did something to hurt you very deeply, then," Inara concluded quietly. "I'm sorry—I don't mean to pry. Please excuse me."

"It's all right," Jack said quickly. "I know you're an empathic person; you want to know more so you can help. It's just… I don't think anything will help right now." He sighed and put his head in his hands.

Inara put her arm around him. "I'm sorry you feel so alone."

"The Doctor's been a big help; he told me I can talk to him if I need to. I just don't think I can. It's too… too personal, I guess. I'm not sure he really understands. I'm not sure I do either."

The Doctor frowned. _What don't I understand? You feel frightened and angry and guilty and hurt and embarrassed and forgiving and loving and confused, all rolled into one. What else could there be?_

"Do you think it might help to have company tonight? I wouldn't charge you; I'm offering as a friend."

"Oh… probably not the best idea," the Doctor murmured, embarrassed on Jack's behalf.

"That's very sweet of you to offer," Jack said slowly. "But I don't think it's the best idea right now."

The Doctor nodded.

"Inara—I don't want to upset you, but I know you're a very discreet and compassionate person. I don't like keeping the truth from you…"

She gently pulled Jack's head against her shoulder. "You can tell me, if you think it will give you some relief. It's all right."

Jack was silent, and the Doctor held his breath to be sure not to miss anything. He shoved his guilt over eavesdropping into a closet of his mind for the time-being.

"The night before last," Jack started quietly, "Gray…" he paused.

Inara stroked Jack's hair gently and waited for him to go on.

Jack took a calming breath. "He sexually violated me."

The Doctor suddenly felt very low for intruding on the conversation. _I only want to be sure he's all right, _he told himself. But his conscience wasn't satisfied, so he switched off his monitor's sound. He saw Inara comforting Jack, and he didn't need to hear what she said to know that she was equal to the task.

_Maybe she can help. Maybe he'll talk to her. But why can't he talk to me?_

* * *

><p>"Have you any idea how long I've been waiting?" the Master complained when Jack carried a tray through the door.<p>

"Yeah—since I brought you the tux yesterday. I put a lot of effort into this dinner, so you'd better appreciate it."

The Master looked Jack over with a smirk. "Full uniform, I see."

"Do you like it?"

"Much."

Jack moved their plates and glasses from the tray to the table and set the tray aside.

"You did that so efficiently. Were you once a butler?"

"I was once a lot of things. When you live for eons you tend to try a lot of professions."

"You evaded that question beautifully."

"Thank you."

The Master raised his glass. "_Bon appetite_."

Jack touched his glass to the Master's. "_À ta__ santé__."_

"That had better mean something good."

Jack grinned. "Ha. I know more French than you do. Let the Tardis translate for you."

The Master thought for a moment. "Oh, to your health. Right. Never bothered much with human languages. Dull. And no need to learn them when you've got a Tardis."

"Knowing lots of languages can get you far. I had a French boy friend once…"

"You had an _everything _boy friend once. I swear."

They ate their prime rib in silence for a minute or so. Then the Master spoke.

"You overcooked mine."

"Did not—it's perfect."

"I said rare."

"It's pink in the middle."

"It's supposed to be bleeding in the middle."

Jack tried to keep a straight face, but a laugh escaped him. "Yes, Master. I'll do better next time. You should just be glad I cooked for you. When John and I were together, I made him cook almost every night."

"John? Another boy friend, I suppose."

"Sort of. More like a wife."

It was the Master's turn to laugh. "And have you ever _had_ a wife to know the comparison?"

"Yes, actually."

The Master sobered a little. "What happened to her?"

"What happens to everyone." Jack shrugged. "That's the biggest downside to immortality. You have to leave people behind." He looked up to see the Master give a small nod. "What, no snarky comment?"

"I'm not allowed to hurt your feelings. Doctor's orders."

Jack smiled. "And you listened? There may be hope for you after all."

"I just don't want to be stuck here forever." The Master tasted his artichoke soufflé. "I like this—what is it?"

"Artichoke. It's popular in the 51st century. Hard to find on Barcelona, judging by how much the Doctor complained about looking for it."

"Well, he can stuff it. Where did the Doctor get money to buy food with, anyway?"

"Probably hacked a banking box as usual; I didn't ask."

"The goody-goody, a thief?" the Master smiled. "So, tell me—what's the most unusual thing you've taken to bed with you?"

Jack nearly choked. He managed to keep his swallow from going down the wrong pipe and cleared his throat. "Most unusual?"

"Most alien—least human."

"Let's see…" Jack looked around the room. "Doctor, if you're listening, shut the damn thing off," he said sternly. There was no answer. "Okay, um… hm."

"Not counting ones you're not sure what happened due to drunkenness," the Master added. "That should narrow the field for you."

Jack gave him a sour look. "I guess it was probably the Raxacoricofallapatorian…"

"Good god, you didn't."

"Um, yeah. I was like… twenty or twenty-one."

"WHY? Why would anyone? Other than another Raxacoricofallapatorian, of course."

"Uh… he was horny and I was curious?"

"He? Lord."

"Yeah. I kinda had second thoughts about that. But it was a little late."

"You're not joking?"

"Nope."

"Wow." The Master looked like he didn't know whether to be disturbed, impressed or just very amused.

"Your turn," Jack prompted.

"Oh, the strangest thing ever in my bed was my wife Lucy. But we didn't have sex."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Your story was way more disturbing than mine."

"What story? I didn't get any details."

"Did you seriously _want_ details?" Jack asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Point taken."

When dinner was finished, Jack gathered the empty dishes back onto the tray.

"This was unexpectedly pleasant," Jack said.

"Yes; we should do it again sometime."

"Do you dance?"

"Dance? Mm… just on my own. Clubby. Can fake a little other stuff..."

Jack smiled. "Nah, we gotta teach you ballroom."

"You can't teach me anything," the Master snapped.

"Oh, that's a bald challenge."

The Master picked up the tray and walked Jack to the door. "Come back soon," he said, holding out the tray.

Jack considered attempting a kiss, but he decided it was a little too risky at this point. He settled for running his hands over the Master's as he took the tray from him.

The Master's arms jerked back a fraction of an inch as if he was startled, but his expression betrayed nothing.

"Good night, Tiger. Love the tux."

"This old thing?" the Master said with a wink. "So sweet of you to say so."

* * *

><p>The Doctor stood in the doorway watching Gray and River carefully. This was to be a short visit.<p>

River went to Gray and hugged him tightly. Gray held her in such a way that he knew the Doctor could see his hands clearly—he didn't want any trouble.

"I missed you," Gray said.

"Me, too." She traced along his brow with her fingers. "You're not evil."

He looked away from her. "Did they tell you what I did?"

"You don't really want to hurt anyone."

"How do you know that?"

"I feel sad for big brothers."

"Why?"

"Who takes care of them?"

Gray thought that over. "Parents, I guess. For a while."

"Not for long."

He swallowed. This wasn't a comfortable conversation. "I wish you could stay with me."

"You'll be okay," she said firmly. "You're trapped, but you're safe here."

"Are you happy on the _Serenity?"_

"I have Simon there. But I miss you. And the Doctor and the Tardis."

"River," the Doctor called, "that's long enough."

River reached up and kissed Gray's lips gently. He held perfectly still so there was no way he could be accused of taking any inappropriate action.

"No more hurting," River told him. She turned away and left with the Doctor.

* * *

><p>"How'd River's visit go?" Jack asked.<p>

"Fine. No trouble. They kissed."

"Really? On the mouth?"

"Well, she kissed him."

"Oh. That's different."

"How?"

"Gray probably won't take it as a romantic attraction. It's not unusual for platonic friends in our culture to share a conservative kiss."

"Really?"

"Come on, Doctor… think of cultures in Rose's time—Italian family members kissed each other on the mouth all the time."

"Don't tend to spend much time in Italy…"

Jack smiled and shook his head. "You've missed out. Hey," he said, growing serious again, "there's something I've wanted to ask you."

"Ask away."

"Well… it's a sex question."

The Doctor quirked an eyebrow. "What can I possibly know that you don't? You're the connoisseur."

"It's not like that—I don't need 'the talk;' I just want to know the differences between our species. How is making love different for Timelords?"

"Um…" _None of your bloody business._ "I understand your curiosity and all, but I think it's best to leave it alone, Jack."

Jack looked atypically uncomfortable. "It won't hurt anything for me to know."

"I really don't feel comfortable discussing it," the Doctor admitted. _Damn it, Jack, drop it. Please._

"I'm sorry; it's just that there's no one else I can ask. And it's not like there are books on it… I've looked."

_Of course, you have._ "It's not going to kill you not to know the details, all right?" _Because you and I are never going there. I love you, but I can't love you like that._ "And… I don't think you're likely to _need _to know." The Doctor froze. "Wait…" He looked hard at Jack.

Jack looked away.

"You're not thinking of… Jack, you _can't_ bed the Master. You just can't!"

Jack held his hands up in defense. "I'm not about to. I just want to make sure I don't make a fool of myself if it ever comes to that."

"But… no. You just can't."

"Well, why not?" Jack's tone had turned to one of annoyance. "Say we did get that far—why would you object so strongly?"

"He's unstable. He's a scheming tyrant."

"Everyone is somewhere deep down. But you're the one who's been championing his capacity for good."

"Yes, but…" The Doctor searched for some way to make Jack understand that he was being ridiculous. "Listen, are you sure you're not just rebounding? What happened with Gray… I'm sure it's made you want to try something very new and different. But I think this is _really_ not the way to recover. The timing's bad, Jack. Just wait."

"Like I said, we're nowhere near that point yet. And yeah, maybe I am 'rebounding' a little. You know that Old Earth saying—when you fall off a horse you need to get right back on."

"This is one horse you should not attempt to ride."

Jack burst out laughing. "You just called the Master a horse. Oh, the mileage I could get out of that…"

"I'm serious," the Doctor snapped.

"Okay, I know you are. I don't know how things will go. Maybe nothing will come of it. But please, don't leave me in the dark. Things would be awkward enough without my being caught off guard. You know how he is."

"But if you're completely prepared, he'll know we talked about it," the Doctor groaned. _This is so humiliating. Why are you doing this to me?_

"So? Let him know. He gets tired of heckling you if you don't react."

"Oh, but you don't know him like I do. We were at school together."

"Doctor…" Jack sighed. "Please?"

_Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN._ "All right," the Doctor surrendered. He took a deep breath. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else. I hope you appreciate that. It's a little involved. Let's… let's go sit somewhere where we don't have to look at one another."

Jack smiled. "Okay."

The Doctor chose the astronomy room. It was basically his private planetarium. He had not shown it to Jack before. He closed the door behind them and the star glow came on automatically. He dropped to the floor and lay on the soft, plushy carpet, looking up at the lights of the galaxies.

Jack settled beside him and waited in silence.

After taking a while to collect his thoughts—it had been some time since he had allowed himself to think very deeply on this subject—the Doctor said, "I'm going to try to keep this as painless as possible. Please, don't make too many wise comments…"

"I won't," Jack assured him.

"Okay. Well, to start with, most of the things that will arouse a human will also arouse a Timelord. But something you should keep in mind is that they've got two hearts."

"All right."

"Even though they're able to take their time and remain calm longer than humans if they really want to, they do have the capacity to generate a lot of heat very quickly."

"That makes sense."

"Probably the most reliable way to stir up a Timelord is to go right to the source and have a lot of contact with the chest—male or female, it's a very sensitive area." _Damn. This is so awkward._ The Doctor could feel the beginnings of a blush coming on. He was glad the room was so dark.

Jack, meanwhile, was trying to quickly review all the physical contact he had had with the Doctor. _Is that why he gave me my shirt when he stayed with me that night—he didn't like having my chest exposed?_ He had assumed that the Doctor's gesture had been meant to help Jack feel less vulnerable. But maybe there was more to it than that. He had protested when Jack removed his shirt after saving him from the radiation tank as well, and had stopped him from removing his shirt to enter that other radiation tank when they had first encountered the Master together. _And is that why he stayed so still when my head was on his chest—it really bothered him, but he was too concerned for me to tell me or to pull away?_ "So, it's pretty invasive to touch a Timelord's chest casually?"

"Eh… sometimes. When in doubt, best not. I think it's something akin to running up and licking a human's ear."

Jack laughed. "Okay, that might be a little invasive." _But fun…_ "But you don't mind hugs."

"No, that's different. Not sure why—it just is." _Probably because you're fully clothed and the hands and faces are elsewhere… very little friction… who knows?_

"Anyway, keeping that in mind…" the Doctor hesitated. _God, there's no good way to say this._ The Doctor felt Jack's hand slip over his.

"It's okay. You're not going to shock me. And I promise I won't give you a hard time. Whatever differences there are, it's just part of what makes you so amazing. It's a beautiful thing."

The Doctor turned his hand over and grasped Jack's fingers lightly. "Sometimes I wish I could see the universe as you do," he murmured.

"I've tried to see it through your eyes. Sometimes I manage to get a pretty good glimpse. And that's beautiful, too."

The Doctor felt his eyes stinging. He discreetly wiped them dry with his free hand. _What is wrong with me? Focus._ "Anyway… back on topic."

"Sorry."

"Without going into detail on the history of my race, I'll say that children are a precious commodity on Gallifrey. They're rare. It's not a huge threat to the population, since Timelords can extend their lives through regeneration, but it's a sort of… I dunno, a wistfulness shared by most of us. Our bodies don't often cooperate with each other in the right way to produce a child." _Be clinical. It won't be as awkward if you treat it like a lecture._

"Putting it in terms of Earth time, a Time Lady may be fertile once a month if she's very lucky, or as rarely as once in six months. A male Timelord, however, can produce at any time. But it's trickier than that. Because we've evolved to give an incubating child the best chance of survival. The male is very instrumental in nurturing the child in its first moments."

"After birth?"

"No; after conception. At sexual climax, the male produces a…" the Doctor frowned, trying to think of a good word. "Well, a secretion of vitamins and proteins and… stuff… from his chest. The female, who is ideally flush against him, absorbs it through her skin."

Jack fought to keep his mouth shut. There were so many comments he wanted to make. But he had promised to behave himself.

"It's to help the child develop."

"Right," Jack said, to show he was keeping up. He didn't trust himself to say anything else.

"If for some reason there is _not_ someone else against his chest at climax, the secretion stops almost immediately; there's very little residue. But when it does get absorbed, it drains a lot of energy out of him. He won't be ready to mate again for several days, and ideally waits a couple of weeks to fully recover."

"Weeks? Wow. So, that's what you meant when you said that it's hard work."

"Precisely. And if the male isn't ready when the female is, tough luck. No child this time. And on top of that, the species as a whole was having fertility issues before the Time War… but that's nothing you need to know."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Yes." _Be clinical. You're nearly done._ "This secretion is… it starts out slick, then it gets sticky, and then it hardens. The two Timelords are generally stuck together anywhere from twenty minutes to a good six hours."

"What? You're making that up."

"I am not!" the Doctor said indignantly. "After all the important stuff is absorbed, the bonds break up and what's left over gets sort of flaky. Easy to wash off."

Jack wanted desperately to ask, "How does it taste?" but he kept the question in. "So, supposing some Timelord was an idiot and decided to do it twice in a row—what would happen to him?"

The Doctor grimaced. "Uh… depends on how strong he was to begin with and whether he'd been eating well and so forth. If he were especially strong he might recover all right in a few weeks. But if he were weak to begin with, he might have to regenerate."

"Oh, my god." After the initial surprise, Jack smiled. "Great way to go, though."

"Oh, hush. There's one more thing, but…" _I really, __**really**__ don't want to go there._ "Well, it's something you won't need to know unless things get extremely… unless you go 'all the way,' as they say."

"Okay. What is it?"

"No; I… I'm not going to tell you. If you know things are going to go that far, let him tell you."

"Is it that disturbing? Come on; we've come this far."

"It's not that. It's just…" _I don't want to wonder if that's what you're thinking about every time you give me a funny look—every time I catch you staring, which is already too often. I want things to stay as they are. _"It's something you should hear from your parents or your lover. And I'm not either."

"You act like my parent a lot of the time," Jack commented. _And I wish to God you were my lover._

"I'm sorry, Jack. This is what you get. And it's more than I ever planned to tell you."

"All right." Jack squeezed the Doctor's hand. "Thank you. I know that was weird for you…"

"Understatement. But Jack, listen: The Master is dangerous. He may use his relationship with you to try to hurt me. Please, promise me you'll be careful. Don't become intimate with him unless you're absolutely sure of him, and even then be on your guard."

"I'm a big boy, Doctor. Don't worry about me. If he is playing games, I think this is a game I can beat him at."

"All right, but be careful," the Doctor repeated.

"I will."

* * *

><p><em>Sorry if I made anyone feel sick. lol Like I said, this technical stuff isn't canon—it came out of my warped mind. I hope that at least the awkwardness and JackDoctor tension was enjoyable. :p  
><em>


	11. Complicated

_I meant to get on with the plot, but the Master's soap opera ended up taking over the chapter... lol_

_Nothing major in this chapter; have at it. :p  
><em>

* * *

><p>Later that night, Jack found the Doctor in the library and suggested that they let Gray out of his solitary confinement.<p>

"He hasn't earned it," the Doctor said. "He hasn't done much of anything, good or bad."

"He was good with River."

"He was always good with River."

"We'll be more careful with him. We'll lock him in at night."

"Doesn't it bother you? He still doesn't think that what he did was wrong."

"Of course it bothers me." Jack felt his stomach tighten as his mind revisited Gray's assault. "I knew he wanted to hurt me, but… I never thought he would do something like that."

The Doctor paused in his search for books the Master hadn't read yet. He set a few volumes on a table and went to stand by Jack. "Do you want to talk about it? I can do this later."

_Yes. But I can't._ "No… I'll be all right."

"Jack…" the Doctor hesitated. "I want to help you if I possibly can." He reached out tentatively.

Jack could never refuse a hug from the Doctor, no matter what the circumstances. He took comfort in his friend's closeness as well as their proximity keeping them from having to see each other's faces. "I don't want to upset you more," he explained. "And I don't want you more angry with Gray."

"What upsets me is how unhappy you are. I promise I'll control my temper. I'll hear you out and try to understand."

_I know you want to help._ Jack sighed. "I'll try. But not now… not here." _It might help if you'd sleep by me—for real this time, not just sitting there waiting for me to wake up._

"Astronomy room?"

"Yeah. Okay. I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

_This wasn't what I wanted,_ Jack thought as he left the library to calm down before they talked. _But I guess I knew it would happen eventually. Better to get it out of the way._

By the time he met the Doctor, he felt much more composed. The Doctor had made some awkward revelations for him in this room—call it karma.

"Which sky is this, anyway?" Jack asked as he joined the Doctor on the floor.

"Barcelona's—only everything's magnified and we can see a lot further than you could ordinarily."

Jack admired the glowing lights that represented all the stars and planets for thousands of light years. _It might be fun to sleep in here some night._ "I really like it. Does it show the stars from the point of view of whatever planet you're visiting?"

"Well, that's the idea," the Doctor said. "It malfunctions once in a while." He found Jack's hand and held it loosely. "Are you ready to talk about Gray?"

"Yeah. I know that he has a long way to go. And I really hate what happened. But it made me think—how should he know any better? He was so young when they took him; the second half of his childhood, he was raised by savages."

The Doctor remained silent, but he stroked Jack's hand lightly with his thumb.

"In their society, if you want something, you take it. If someone hurts you, you take it out on someone you think you can handle. If you find someone you can take advantage of, you do it. Because there's no future—everything's now. You have to get what you can every second of every day, because if you don't someone else will grab it first and you'll be dead." Jack knew his voice was tightening and the Doctor could probably hear the change. He wondered how much more he could say before he broke down. "We can't expect him to act civilized as soon as he gets away from them. No one taught him better. But the fact that he didn't completely give up and become one of them shows that there's something human left in him." He swallowed. He'd run out of time. His voice wouldn't sound remotely steady if he spoke now.

The Doctor tightened his hold on Jack's hand. "I see what you're saying," he said quietly. "But are you sure he hasn't become one of them? I saw the blood around his mouth, Jack. Once a person turns cannibalistic, it's nearly impossible to bring them back to sanity. I mean, look at Owen Chase."

Jack blinked. "I'm sorry—who?"

"Owen Chase—one of the survivors of the ship _Essex_ sunk by a whale in the 1800s. It's your history, not mine. Some Time Agent you are."

"I _was_ a Time Agent a long time ago," Jack corrected. "Anyway, Gray didn't try to eat me. He just…" His breathing had become quick and shallow. He could see Gray's dark form in his mind, his eyes glinting in the darkness as he leaned down to lick blood off Jack's chest.

"Jack." The Doctor put his free arm over Jack's ribcage.

Jack pressed his face against the Doctor's shoulder and tried to get his breathing under control.

"It's all right, Jack. You're safe."

_I know. I know everything's okay now. But that doesn't seem to help. Why am I still afraid?_ "He was so… so cold. So bitter. He really thinks I don't love him. He thinks I wanted to hurt him. He hates me so much he wants to tear me open and taste the pain." Again, Jack's voice was cut off. He was shaking. He felt the Doctor pull him closer.

"I'm so sorry, Jack," the Doctor's soft voice said in his ear. "It's going to hurt for a long time. I wish I could tell you he'll get better, but I just don't know."

"Please, don't give up on him," Jack whispered. "I need your help."

"I'll try. That's all I can promise you."

Suddenly remembering, Jack moved his arm lower so it was around the Doctor's waist and not in contact with his chest. _Why does everything have to be so complicated?_

* * *

><p>"So," the Doctor told Gray the next morning, "if you can promise to behave yourself, I can let you move about the Tardis during the day. What do you think?"<p>

Gray kept his eyes on the floor as if it were the most fascinating one he had ever seen. "I won't go near him."

"Jack, you mean?"

"I still think he deserves all he got and more. But I won't try anything."

The Doctor gritted his teeth. _Flowers, star whales, Tardis, Saturdays. Pleasant thoughts._ He inhaled and exhaled slowly. "One day, you are going to see that you were wrong. And I just hope Jack's got enough forgiveness left to take you back."

Gray seemed to think the Doctor was spouting ridiculous gibberish, but he didn't speak.

* * *

><p>"Thought you were never coming back," the Master exclaimed.<p>

"I just saw you yesterday," Jack answered, rolling his eyes.

The Master smiled. "A moment away from you is like an eternity."

"Yeah? Hm. Keep talking."

"Here, let me take your coat. Yesterday you said something about dancing."

"And you said I couldn't teach you."

"That was before." The Master waved a dismissive hand. "First rule about dating me: I'm allowed to change my mind at any time and without warning."

"Oh, are we dating now?"

"Dunno. Just take it under advisement."

"Okay." Jack couldn't help being amused. One of the things he found so attractive about the Master was his unpredictability. _I'll probably get very sick of it later._

"I moved all my furniture—all three pieces of it! So we would have room to dance. Show me."

"You just moved things around because you were bored."

"Not true! I finished _Chamber of Secrets_ last night. It was better than I expected. Fell in love with Tom Riddle."

Against his better judgment, Jack admitted, "So did I."

"Really? We have so much in common. I like Snape, too, though I'm worried he'll 'turn good' in the end. Don't you hate it when that happens?"

"Um… your life kind of depends on that happening."

"The Doctor won't kill me if I don't turn good—he'll just stick me back in the freezer for a while. That's what he said, anyway. Now come along—teach me."

Jack almost laughed at the Master standing in the middle of the floor, arms open. _What is he playing at? I know this is too over-the-top to be genuine, but what does he want?_ He went to the Master and took his right hand while he settled the Master's left on his shoulder. "Okay, first take a step back on your right…"

"Wait, wait, wait a minute," the Master protested. "I may be new to this, but I'm not completely ignorant. Why is your hand on my waist?"

"Um… because it goes there."

"Not unless you're trying to teach me the ladies' part." The Master stepped away from Jack and folded his arms. "Teach me to lead, or we're through."

This time, Jack couldn't keep from laughing. "All right, you win."

After the Master could lead the basic step smoothly, he said, "Now teach me how to do one of those sexy dips."

"You don't usually do a sexy dip after a waltz."

"What? Well, who cares what you usually do? Teach me."

Jack thought back to the time he had taught the Doctor to waltz. That lesson had been so different. He smiled. "Okay; you're certainly enthusiastic this morning."

"Yes, I am."

A few minutes later, the Master was trying out his new moves to music playing over the speaker in his room.

"I'll say one thing for you—you've got great natural rhythm," Jack told him.

"Yes, I have. I'm sure to be good at things with four beats, considering my whole life was set to four beats up until recently.

"I didn't think of that."

When the song finished playing, the Master pulled Jack around quickly and executed the dip Jack had shown him, balancing their weight perfectly. "Good?" he asked, still holding Jack in his lowered position.

"Very good."

The Master leaned forward and kissed Jack.

Startled, Jack got his weight under him to prevent falling over. They broke apart.

"Careful," the Master said, amusement plain on his face.

Jack inched forward uncertainly.

The Master didn't move further away; he just watched Jack with his narrowed, smiling eyes.

Jack rested his hands on the Master's arms and brought their mouths together again. Instantly, he was reminded of Gray—the Master's tongue invaded his mouth quickly and aggressively. Jack shook the feeling off and concentrated on the present. He moved his hands up to the Master's shoulders and worked on teasing the invasive tongue with his own. Things were just getting very pleasant when he felt himself being pushed away, and he realized that his hands had slipped down onto the Master's chest.

"Sorry," he said quickly.

The Master eyed him for a moment. "No harm done," he said, grasping Jack lightly by the forearms. He directed Jack to step backward until his back was to the wall; then he continued where they had left off.

Jack suddenly felt panic rising inside him as the Master's hands slid down to his wrists and gripped him more tightly. Again he saw Gray in his mind and felt the heavy weight of the restraining cuffs. His breathing became heavy. When the Master tilted his head to run his mouth over Jack's jaw, his breathing was no longer muffled and they could both hear how shaky it was.

The Master leaned back and looked at Jack quizzically. "Wait… you're not getting turned on—you're getting scared. What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," Jack lied. He pulled his wrists out of the Master's grasp and tried to resume.

"Hold on." The Master kept Jack at arm's length. "There's some sort of demon here. Something's different about you. You weren't like this the first time you came to see me. You were so cold and silent. Now… you're acting as if you've been molested."

Jack knew there was nothing he could do to keep his eyes from betraying the truth. He felt his face getting very warm.

"But… that's impossible," the Master went on. "During the Year that Never Was, we used to joke that you were the one person in the universe who was un-rape-able… because you'd always say yes." One corner of his mouth curved upward, but the gravity of the situation apparently kept his amusement at bay. "So, to whom would you say no?"

"Forget it," Jack told him. "It's got nothing to do with you." _Damn it, why can't I just forget it? Why can't I move on?_

"Only a family member," the Master concluded. "And the only one around, as far as I know, is your brother. Did Gray rape you?"

Jack tore himself away from the Master. "Okay, we're done here."

"Jack, wait."

But Jack didn't want to know what the Master would say next. He grabbed his coat, made his exit quickly and locked the door behind him. He leaned against the wall, panting. _The Doctor said to be careful. And I still underestimated him._

* * *

><p>When the Doctor entered the Master's room with a new load of books, the Master looked severely disappointed.<p>

"Oh, it's only you."

"Sorry I'm such a disappointment," the Doctor said. "Expecting Jack?"

"No… not really. Have you seen him lately?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Why—what's going on?"

The Master started collecting the books he had already read into a pile, avoiding the Doctor's eyes. "Things were going so well," he muttered. "We were actually making out."

"Yes? You, making out with a human? Is it near the end of the universe or something?"

"Oh, shove it," the Master snapped. "The thing is, he… he started freaking out."

The Doctor set his load of books on the table. _Uh oh… this isn't good._ "How d'you mean?"

"I mean like panicking. Doctor… was it Gray?"

"Oh, lord…" The Doctor closed his eyes.

"I was right, then: Gray did something to him. And now Jack's got some anxiety keeping the sex champion of the universe from becoming intimate."

The Doctor glared at him. "You always were too clever by half. What did you say to him?"

"Nothing! I mean, I guess I should have just left it alone, but I wanted to know what the problem was… I swear I wasn't trying to upset him. If I were, I'd have done a much more efficient job of it." The Master paused. "You're not going to put me back in cryo now, are you?"

"I… I dunno. I've got to find Jack." The Doctor distractedly took up the stack of old books and headed for the door.

"Doctor, wait. I have to ask you—"

The Doctor paused. "Yes? What is it?"

The Master looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable. "It's just that this is a hell of a lot trickier than I imagined. I don't understand why he… Well, after all, he is human…"

"Oh… no," the Doctor moaned. "Don't tell me you want to know the difference in how humans make love? I haven't the patience for this."

"You needn't rub it in, damn you. I know the main differences; it's just the little things that are bound to trip me up…"

The Doctor shook his head. "I'll come back later, all right? What have I let myself in for…?"

* * *

><p>The Doctor found Jack in his room, staring out his false window that showed the surrounding landscape.<p>

"Jack? Are you all right?"

Jack nodded, not turning toward him.

The Doctor approached him warily. "He didn't hurt you?"

"No. But he knows. About Gray."

"Yes; I just came from speaking with him."

"Was he gloating?"

"No, actually. I've never seen him at such a loss."

"Really?" Jack turned toward him. "What did he say?"

"He said he wasn't trying to upset you."

"Do you believe him?"

"I think so. He certainly wouldn't go out of his way to humiliate himself in front of me; he's far too controlling for that."

Jack frowned. "He was a little smarter than I expected. Of all the people who had to figure it out…"

"I know. It gives him a dreadful advantage. But for now I don't think he intends to use it against you."

"Would you tell him… tell him I'll see him again, but not yet."

"All right." The Doctor squeezed Jack's shoulder and left him alone.

* * *

><p>The Master folded his arms imperiously. "Now, let me make clear: I know the humans' main deficiencies compared with us. What I don't know is principally custom. I mean, we'd only just begun snogging when he starting putting his hands all over me. What is that? I knew he was eager and all, but I'd expected to take things a bit slower… I was trying to sort of hold him off a bit, but I think that's what started the trouble."<p>

"Hmm." The Doctor turned the information over in his mind, trying not to picture too vividly the spectacle of Jack and the Master 'snogging.' "Well, I can see the difficulty. Humans have a hard time kissing without following it up with more contact. You may need to set some boundaries for him."

"What—_tell_ him? With words?"

"Then again, you could just get used to it. It wouldn't kill you to let him touch you."

"Eventually, perhaps, but not straight off. I want…"

"You want everything to be on your terms." The Doctor took up an authoritative stance. "Now, look here: You can't expect Jack to just hold still and let you have your way with him. He's every bit as competitive and domineering as you are. Humans like give and take. You can't give more than you're willing to take. And don't you dare take more than you can give," he added.

"I'm not sure I like this."

"I'm not sure you should continue, then. Jack's going to want to give you attention. If you can't stand it, you'd best quit now, before you really cause problems."

The Master frowned at the wall. "It's just who I am, after all. I've never been cuddly."

"You can say that again."

"I just don't like letting people touch me. It's demeaning."

"You just don't like treating people like equals." The Doctor reached out toward the Master, who flinched away. "No, you hold still," the Doctor commanded. He rested his hand on the Master's shoulder. "There, see? You're all right. I'm not patronizing you; I'm just communicating companionship. Is that so terrible?"

The Master looked from the Doctor to the hand on his shoulder with obvious distaste. "If you'd tried something like this back at the Academy, I'd have thrashed you severely, Theta Sigma."

"I know; you were a right bully, even then," the Doctor commented, choosing to ignore the condescending use of his school nickname. "But don't you understand? I'm not trying to dominate you. I just want to be your friend."

With a look of great skepticism, the master lifted his hand and rested it on the Doctor's arm. He raised one eyebrow.

"You see? It's not that difficult. Painless."

The Master took a slow step toward the Doctor.

"What are you up to?" the Doctor asked warily.

The Master leaned in and pressed his mouth against the Doctor's. Without a moment's hesitation, the Doctor brought out his sonic screwdriver and directed its pulse at the Master.

"Oh!" the Master exclaimed, jumping back and clutching his arm. "God—what was that for?"

"Idiocy!" the Doctor snapped. "No more games, do you understand? If you can't tell the difference between companionship and flirtation, then… then…" He released an exasperated groan.

To his annoyance, the Master looked ready to laugh. "I hope you do better when you're not caught off-guard… you're a dreadful kisser."

"You are _this close,_" the Doctor said, holding up his fingers, "to going back in the freezer. Is that clear?"

"Transparent."

The Doctor turned his back on the Master's smirk and stormed out of the room.

* * *

><p><em>I couldn't help it. The Master practically wrote this chapter himself. The crack head.<br>_


	12. Poison

_Minor Torchwood spoilers. No major adult content. New character. Yay. :)  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twelve: Poison

* * *

><p>The Doctor, Mal and Wash went into town for the rally held to attract mercenaries for the Reaver hunt. It was held in one of Barcelona's many taverns. Mal drank a stein of beer while the man organizing the hunt called for their attention.<p>

"Gentleman—and everyone else," the man said, "thank you for coming. The mission I am proposing will not be an easy one…"

The Doctor studied the man standing before them. He looked oddly out of place. In the 26th century, many of the Barcelonans seemed to have a taste for the relatively plain clothing of the old American west. This newcomer, however, had an even older and more garish style. His coat looked like something Emperor Napoleon might have worn, but the sword at his side looked more Asian than French. His accent sounded English. The Doctor brought his attention back to the speech being uttered by the strangely-clothed man.

"You know these Reavers. You know what they do. And you know what they'll stop at—nothing! This mission is not for the faint of heart. When you see those blood-thirsty villains running at you with jagged knives and lust and murder in their eyes, I need to know that my men won't turn tail and run. And many a brave man would. But there's something my men should know." The Speaker leaned forward conspiratorially. "For every man who serves me well there will be a two-month supply of Alliance-grade rations. That's two whole months you can feed your families without wondering where the next meal's coming from."

Most of the audience cheered or clapped until the speaker put up his hands.

"All I ask," he went on, "is that you help me recover something that the Reavers stole. It probably won't look like anything special, but it'll be at least the size of a steamer trunk, and possibly as large as a freighter. If it's small, it will be onboard one of the fastest Reaver ships. This object is of utmost importance, so to the man or men who recover it, the reward will be doubled."

This time everyone in the room cheered.

"So! If you've got what it takes, be here again night after next and we'll begin. If you have your own ship and weapons, you'll be compensated for their use. Tell your friends. Two nights from now—same time."

The man hopped off the small platform and went to the bar where several men immediately offered to buy him a drink.

"There you have it," said Wash. "Pretty good bargain, if you ask me."

"I want to know more," said Mal. "Like, where's he come from? Is he Alliance or not? And if he's freelance, what makes him think he knows how to deal with Reavers?"

"Excellent questions," the Doctor agreed. He himself was eager to learn what the mysterious object could be. It had sounded like the stranger hadn't known himself. "We might be able to talk to him if we try," he suggested.

"Good idea." Mal led the way to the bar and wormed his way through the small crowd. "Nice speech," he addressed the bright-coated man.

"Thank you," was the friendly reply. The man held out his hand. "Whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?"

"Captain Malcolm Reynolds."

"Captain John Hart," responded the other.

The Doctor's eyes grew wide. He quickly did his best to hide his surprise.

"Where are you from?" Mal asked.

"The outer rim. Tiny settlement."

"And how does someone like you end up a captain leading a venture like this?"

"Long story," John smiled. "Basically, the government wants this thing—it's something they can afford to do without, but it's also something the Reavers shouldn't have. Dangerous in the wrong hands, you might say. They sent me because I volunteered for the job when no one else wanted it."

"Why would you do that?" the Doctor asked.

John poured himself a second drink. "Let's say I'm personally interested in the mission. Plus, I get an extra paid vacation out of it."

"You've got to be insane or crazy," Mal said dryly.

John smiled at Mal's redundant humor. "Don't worry—my insanity is as tame as the sun on a hot day. I love Barcelonan wit," he added.

"Well, as a pilot, I think your crazy idea is a good way to earn some currency," Wash put in. "Just trying to convince the captain.

"I've seen Reavers as close as I want to," Mal explained. "But I know how this will go down. If you really want to go, Zoe will want to go with you. And if the two of you are going then I'll have to go. And Jayne won't want to be left behind when there's fighting and payment to be had. So you can pretty much count us in."

"I'm not much of a fighter," said the Doctor, "but I've got a head for strategy and I make a fair technician. Mostly, I have a scientific interest in this object you want to recover."

"Not sure you'll get to even see it, but you're welcome to come along all the same," John told him. "That is, if you understand the risks."

"Well, I guess we'll head back to the _Serenity_ now," said Mal. "Coming, Doctor?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Not yet, thanks."

"Before you go…" John turned to the bartender. "Send a bottle of wine home with these men; put it on my account. And get one for the Doctor here, too."

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Mal accepted the wine before he and Wash left.

Once they were gone, the Doctor asked John quietly, "May I have a word outside?"

John flashed his eyebrows. "Certainly." He threw back one last shot and got up. "I'll see you later," he told the bartender.

The Doctor wasn't sure how to broach the subject, but he knew that John and Jack would become aware of each others' presence eventually. _It was John Hart, right?_ he asked himself urgently. _He told the Master he'd had a boy friend more like a wife named John, of that much I'm sure. And years ago, when he was telling me about Gray for the first time, I'm sure he mentioned a Captain Hart. Quite sure. That's right, because I thought it was odd that they had the same initials…_

"So, Doctor," John said when they were well out of anyone's hearing, "what prompts you to invite me out on such a lovely evening?"

"I wondered if you might have heard of a friend of mine," the Doctor said. "Did you ever know a man named Captain Jack Harkness?"

John stopped walking. After a moment, he exclaimed, "Know him? In _every_ sense of the word!"

* * *

><p>Jack acted like nothing had happened, and to his relief, the Master played along.<p>

"Anything special planned for tonight?" the Master asked.

"Papa's away," Jack reported.

"Oh? Gone to town, has he?"

"That's right. He's got the Tardis all locked up about ten different ways so you couldn't do anything if you managed to escape your room."

"So?"

"So, I figure it's safe to let you out. What he doesn't know won't hurt him." Jack pulled the electric handcuffs from his coat pocket.

The Master smiled. "I'd be delighted. It will certainly be nice to leave this room for once."

They spent a good half hour just walking through the Tardis. Jack still hadn't seen a lot of the rooms, and the Master was just as curious.

"I swear the hallways move around," Jack said.

"Bit like Hogwarts staircases," the Master agreed.

Jack laughed.

"You know, when this Tardis was mine…"

"It was never yours."

"Well, when I confiscated it," the Master amended, "I found this gem of a little room. It was a little planetarium…"

"The Astronomy room," Jack said immediately. "I know where it is. Want to go there?"

"Let's."

Jack easily found his way back to the dimly lit room and, out of habit, immediately reclined on the floor, putting his arms behind his head.

The Master looked around appreciatively. "He always did have a thing for stars."

"Yeah, I seem to remember that about him. It's kind of cute."

"Cute?" The Master shook his head. "If you say so." He sat on the floor next to Jack. "Listen, about earlier…"

"Forget it."

"If that's what you want."

"The Doctor told me what you said; for now I'm willing to believe it."

"I really wasn't trying to rub it in or anything. Just trying to understand."

"You really don't like apologizing, do you?"

The Master scowled in the darkness. "It's been a long, long time," he snapped. "I think the last time I apologized…" he thought for a while. "I think the last time, I was forced to. Can't remember for sure."

"I'll let you make it up to me," Jack invited.

Slowly, the Master lay back on the carpet next to Jack. "Oh, yes? How?"

"By helping me get over this irrational fear." Jack rolled onto his side, facing the Master. "How about it?"

"Physical therapy? Sounds constructive."

"Pin me down."

"I like the sound of that." From his tone, Jack could tell that the Master was grinning. He eased Jack back onto the floor and put his hands on Jack's shoulders.

Jack shook his head. "By the wrists."

"Oh, right. That's what set you off…" He moved his hands down Jack's arms and pinned his wrists to the floor. "How's that? Doing all right?"

"Not so great," Jack admitted.

The Master released him. "But see? I'm not keeping you there. You can get up if you like."

Jack smiled. The Master made a very unusual therapist. "Yup. That's good. Again?"

"Certainly."

After a little more of this "you're trapped…and now you're not!" game, Jack strained in his pinned position to reach the Master's face with his mouth. The Master met him halfway. He was less aggressive this time, and Jack nearly forgot the hands keeping his wrists immobile as he lost himself in the kiss. When they parted, Jack's tongue darted out for a parting lick.

"Not bad for a human," the Master praised him.

"Imagine what I can do with my hands free."

"I am."

Jack felt the Master's grip slacken and he tucked his hands under and around to hold the Master's wrists instead. "My turn to pin you?"

"Er… not just yet. I have my own irrational fears."

"You mean you have control issues."

"I can't help it," the Master whined.

"The first step is to admit you have a problem. Come on."

"Jack."

Something in the Master's voice made Jack relax back on the floor. "What is it?"

The Master took a deep breath. "Well… don't laugh, but this is all pretty new to me."

"The fact that I'm a man?" Jack asked. "Or is it that I'm human?"

"A bit of both. Like I said, Lucy and I never really… and I hadn't any real respect for her anyway. And as for males… I love to joke around, but I've haven't actually…"

"Okay," Jack said, rescuing the Master from his awkward trail of admissions. He sat up. "We'll just have to start at square one is all. You're already doing great in the kissing department."

"I bet you tell all the fellows that."

"To be honest, I don't usually get the chance. But they know."

"I do like to be in control," the Master said thoughtfully. "Is that a make-or-break issue for you?"

"Not necessarily. But if you're planning to make me your bitch, the whole thing's off."

The Master laughed quietly. "Well, I'd like to. But I knew all along that would never happen."

"Come on," Jack said, pushing off the floor. "Let's give this serious crap a rest. Let's go check the scanner's bank for blackmail on the Doctor."

"Oh, lovely idea. Do you think he's got cameras in his room? We should look for a shot of him in his pyjams."

"Or out of them," Jack agreed.

They were both laughing mischievously by the time they reached the control room.

Jack stopped short when he saw the scanner. "Dammit, he's back…"

"Who's that with him?" asked the Master.

Jack walked up to the scanner and looked hard at the figure walking beside the Doctor in Barcelona's dim night air. _Napoleonic coat. Sword. Swagger. Oh, god._ "Come on; back to your room. Quick." Jack hurried the Master down the hall.

"Wait up," the Master complained. "If you get more than ten feet away, I fry, I hope you remember! So, who is that guy?"

Jack all but shoved the Master back into his room. He kissed him once, hard, before removing the cuff. "I'll tell you all about him later. Good night." He ducked out and quickly secured the door behind him.

_What the hell is he doing here? How did he meet the Doctor? Has he got the Doctor prisoner? What's going on?_ Jack ran down the hall to his room, retrieved one of his handguns and darted out again. _Whatever he's up to, it's no good. That's the one certain thing about him…_

The Tardis doors opened just as Jack got back to the control room.

"…so much about it," John was saying as he entered behind the Doctor. His eyes came to rest on Jack. "My god, and there he is."

There was a long silence.

"Ran into your friend in town," the Doctor said awkwardly.

"I see." Jack nodded. "John."

"Jack," John replied. "It's… really good to see you."

"Is it?"

John stepped toward Jack.

Jack pulled his gun out of his coat and aimed it at John.

"Jack!" The Doctor exclaimed.

"Just a precaution, Doctor."

"You put that away _right now,_" the Doctor ordered.

Jack lowered the gun, but he didn't put it away. "What is he doing here?"

"He's the one organizing the Reaver hunt."

"You see?" John said, raising his hands, palms up. "I've got business here. Which is more than you can say, from what the Doctor tells me. On Barcelona just for fun?"

"Weapons," Jack said coldly.

John lowered his hands slowly and removed his sword, then his gun belt. "You want my clothes, too?"

"Not yet." Jack tossed his gun to the Tardis floor and closed the distance between himself and John. He waited a moment to let John worry about what was about to happen. Then he grabbed him and started kissing.

"Oi!" the Doctor shouted. "Jack Harkness, so help me, not in my Tardis!"

"You heard the man," John gasped when he got the chance. "Come on—outside."

Jack half dragged John out through the open Tardis doors. This was nice. It was familiar. It was safe.

"God, I missed you," John said, pulling back Jack's coat.

"I missed you as if you never left," Jack replied, stripping John of his coat.

John grinned. "Nice use of Barcelonan humor."

"Good stuff," Jack agreed. He bit John's neck lightly. "But I was kind of serious."

John worked his hands under Jack's shirt. "Never thought I'd run into you here—or ever again, for that matter.

Jack wrestled John to the ground and pinned him in the sparse grass. "You're like a bad penny. What's this—a shoulder holster? I told you to lose your weapons."

"Take it off me," John dared.

Jack reached down through the neck of John's shirt with one hand and up through the bottom with the other to unfasten the holster. "That's better," he said, tossing it aside. "Where were we?"

"Right here." John wrapped his leg around Jack's and shifted quickly, rolling them over. "Here we are."

Jack laughed his cocky, competitive laugh. He pulled skillfully at John's shirt until the other man relented and let it come off over his head.

In retribution, John shoved Jack's shirt up and leaned down to bite his chest.

Jack sat up with superhuman force, and John rolled off him.

"Hey…" John said uncertainly.

They sat in the grass, both breathing hard.

"Is that all?" John asked, still tentative.

"A lot's happened," Jack told him. He reached for John's shirt and tossed it to him. "Come on… let's go back inside."

John looked reluctant, but he answered, "Okay."

* * *

><p>The Doctor did not look happy when they returned. "If I'd known the trouble it would be… he's not even here two minutes, and you…" he sputtered at the two men shrugging back into their coats.<p>

"Calm down, Doctor," Jack appeased him. "John and I have a long history."

"Oh, clearly."

"What happened to your team?" John asked Jack. "Your Torchwood team?"

"It's been around thirty years since I saw you."

"Oh. You look good. It's been less than a year for me. How about Gray—you still have him?"

"He's here."

"Awake?"

"Yes. But there are some things I should tell you."

It took some time, but with a little help from the Doctor Jack explained to John all the progress and setbacks they had had with Gray since leaving Earth.

"Oh, Jack," John said when Jack came to Gray's assault on him. "God, I'm sorry."

Jack let John hug him. "I want you to try talking to him."

"What? He hates me almost as much as he does you because I helped you."

"Right now I think he'll respond better to you."

John pulled away and regarded Jack's face sadly. "I don't know… he's so far gone. I've been studying the people who took him. They're…"

"Not human?"

"No. They are human, but they're so animalistic. They can't be cured."

"Yeah? How's that rehab coming?" Jack challenged. "Are you clean?"

John looked away. "No," he admitted. "The drugs are gone, though—they were getting too damn expensive anyway. And I haven't murdered anyone for… well, since I tried to pick off your team."

"Wait a minute," the Doctor started, but Jack shook his head to cut him off.

"As for sex and alcohol," John went on, "well… I sort of quit trying to give those up. But I can. I'm sure I can…"

"If you can reform, then Gray can recover," Jack said firmly. "Now please, won't you try? Just have a conversation with him. See if he'll at least talk to you."

John deliberated. "All right, I'll try," he said at last. "Where is he?"

"This way," Jack moved to show him.

"No, just give me directions; I'll find him. Pour the wine while I'm gone. I'm probably going to need a drink."

The Doctor looked skeptical, and Jack wondered how much John had already drunk that night.

"So… this history of yours," the Doctor said when John had left the room. "He was the Time Agent you were stuck with for five years, right?"

Jack fetched a few glasses from the next room. "Yeah. We got to know each other a little too well."

"Do you trust him?"

"Not really. But in all fairness, he is the one that helped Torchwood find me when I was buried alive. And he's the one that found Gray. I guess I owe him a chance, at least." Jack poured wine into three glasses, drank one quickly and refilled it. "Here." He offered the second glass to the Doctor.

"Something tells me he's going to bring out the worst in you," the Doctor commented before taking a sip.

"Maybe so. But he could help. I'll try to keep him in line."

A few minutes later, John returned. "Well, he's… he's a bit different now," he announced. "But I don't know. He wants me to get him out of here."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him I think he's perfectly safe here. He wouldn't accept that. You all right, gorgeous?" he directed at Jack. "You don't look well."

"I… don't feel well," Jack realized. He felt weak. He was starting to tremble. His hands were moist. The wineglass slipped out of them and broke on the floor.

John rushed forward in time to catch Jack as he sank to his knees. "Jack? What's wrong?"

The Doctor picked up the wine bottle and scanned it with his sonic screwdriver. "What the hell did you do to this?"

"Nothing!" John exclaimed. "I just bought it tonight, right in front of you. What could I have done to it?"

Jack felt sweat running down his face. "John… if you're lying… when I come back from the dead I am going to kill you."

"I'm not lying!" John protested.

"Carbon tetramodine," the Doctor concluded, setting the bottle down. "Commonly used poison in the 26th century. I've been poisoned, too."

"Browncoats," Jack gasped. "Someone must have remembered you from the other day."

"Got to call Mal," the Doctor said. "He got one of these tonight. If you're right, his'll be poisoned, too."

"Jack, I'm sorry," John said. His face swam in Jack's blurry vision. He kissed Jack gently.

Then everything went dark.

* * *

><p><em>Gah! Cliff hanger! xD<br>_


	13. Desperate Measures

_No major spoilers._

_MAJOR adult content. Faint hearts, don't bother with this one. Just skip the whole thing. :p_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirteen: Desperate Measures_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"You're all right, Jack," John's voice said as soon as Jack regained consciousness. "It'll be okay."<p>

"Where's the Doctor?" Jack demanded, trying to get up.

"Easy—he said he was going to his room and he didn't want to be disturbed. Something about the next generation."

"Not 'next generation,' you Star Trek junkie, _regeneration_!" Jack exclaimed. He lurched to his feet. "When did he leave?"

"Just a couple minutes ago. There's nothing you can do, Jack. This poison—the Doctor said it bonds to your proteins and starts killing your vitals—there's no way to counteract it unless you do it immediately after ingesting the poison."

"No; there has to be a way," Jack said, stumbling toward the back of the Tardis. "He can't regenerate. Not now…"

John steadied Jack and walked beside him. "On such short notice, we've got nothing to work with. I'm very sorry, but you've got to face it. He can't survive this."

"He's a Timelord. He can survive anything. I just need something… some way…"

"Hold on—he took the right passage," John said as Jack turned to the left.

"I know."

"So, where are you going?"

Jack dropped his coat on the floor so he could move more freely. "The Doctor isn't the only Timelord on this ship. Go tell the Doctor not to regenerate—tell him not to do anything until I get there. He's got to give us a chance to find a solution."

"Well… all right, but I'm telling you: it's hopeless."

Jack became steadier as he went and soon he was running toward the Master's room. He punched in the code quickly and burst into the room. "Master," he panted.

"What's going on?"

"The Doctor's been poisoned."

"What?"

"I can't explain. Carbon tetramodine."

"Oh." The Master frowned. "That's a pretty quick-working one. I used to be quite a poison expert in my time. You can say goodbye to this regeneration."

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Jack asked desperately.

"Did he take it just now?"

"A few minutes ago—maybe ten, max."

The Master shook his head. "Too late. Sorry. The poison will be well bonded to the proteins by now—there's no way to counteract it without damaging him some other way… besides, we probably haven't got the means here. But don't worry; it's not like he'll die. Now, oughtn't you cuff me or shut that door before I decide to escape at this opportune moment of the Doctor's weakness?"

Jack leaned against the wall. _No. He just can't go. I won't accept it._ Desperately, Jack tried to remember what he knew of poisons, of this particular poison, of antidotes, and of Timelords. "There must be some way…" He looked up. "Wait. Master—when a Timelord has sex—"

"At a moment like this?" the Master exclaimed.

"Oh, shut up! The male secretes a lot of nutrients, right? Like proteins."

"Well, yes… but lord, Jack—"

"Would it work?"

"No idea. I've never heard of anyone trying it. But you're forgetting something."

"What?"

"Unless there's someone there to absorb it, the secretion will stop."

"I know."

"Well, if someone absorbs it, then that person will die."

"I know."

The Master stopped short. "Oh. Oh, I see. You can't die. But he'll never go for it. You know he won't."

Jack whirled around and dashed from the room.

"But we don't even know that it will work!" the Master shouted after him. "Hey, you gonna lock me in or what?"

Jack saw John standing by the Doctor's door.

"He said not to go in," John informed him.

Jack kicked the door in. "Doctor?"

The Doctor was sitting on the edge of a large bed covered with a plushy comforter. "How did I know you'd barge right in?" He asked with a small smile. "This is my own private quarters. Now I'll have to remodel it."

"Doctor," Jack said, hurrying forward.

"Stay back," the Doctor said urgently. "There's nothing to be done, Jack. I've got to regenerate."

"You might not have to."

"I can already feel it starting. Now, please leave me. I want to do this alone."

"But I have an idea that I think will work. Please, hear me out."

The Doctor grimaced and his hands glowed faintly. "Be quick."

"The poison bonds to proteins, right?"

"Yup."

"And that's what a male Timelord expels at climax, right?"

"Oh, I can see where this is going. I'm sorry, Jack, but I'm not doing that."

"But… I don't want you to change."

The Doctor gripped the bedpost and stood unsteadily. "I'm sorry. I truly am, but…. Even if I knew it would work… you helped me put this off once already. It's time."

"It could work." _Please, just try—would you really rather die than sleep with me? What if you're not my Doctor anymore?_

"You would die."

"I know."

"You've already died to keep me from regenerating…"

"It's more than worth it."

"Hm. Well, this is sort of what you've been wanting…"

"Doctor…" Jack reached out and embraced his friend. "It's not about the sex. I swear it's not. I just don't want to lose you."

"I'm sorry," the Doctor repeated. "I know I'll be different, but we'll always be friends. That won't change; I promise. Things were all right last time, weren't they?"

"Sure… but what are the chances of being that lucky twice in a row?"

The Doctor looked Jack in the eye a moment. Then he closed his eyes. "This isn't easy for me either. I don't want to go. But I… I need your support. I need to know you'll still stand by me, whatever form I take. Jack…" he opened his eyes again. "I'm scared."

Jack didn't know what to say. He now felt selfish for trying to pressure the Doctor. "I'm sorry," he said. "Of course I'll stand by you. You're the best friend I've ever had."

The Doctor stepped back suddenly and fell against the bed. "Stay back," he said again. The glow around his head and hands grew and subsided. "I haven't long. You can stay, but close the door."

Jack did as he was asked, just catching sight of John's and the Master's curious faces. Since he had broken the primary lock when he kicked the door in, he bolted the door closed.

"Oh, what the hell," the Doctor said quietly. "I don't want to change, either. I suppose… for better or worse… let's just say we tried, eh?"

"Doctor?"

"Come on—if we're going to do this, it'll have to be quick. Really quick."

Jack went back to the Doctor. "Are you sure? This is really what you want?"

"If we don't try it, we'll always wonder if it could have worked. If it doesn't work… no one has to know, right?"

"Right," Jack agreed. He helped the Doctor onto the bed.

"But Jack… Just the bare minimum, all right? Only what's absolutely necessary to do the job."

"Okay. It may not be easy, but I promise."

"And… just remember what I told you."

Jack nodded. "Yeah; two hearts."

"Exactly. Help me off with my shirt."

_I thought you'd never ask._ It took great willpower to keep the thought to himself. Jack carefully removed the Doctor's shirt.

"Better get yours off too, or this will never work."

"Okay." Jack felt abnormally self-conscious as he pulled his shirt off in front of the Doctor. He wondered if his friend found it arousing or unpleasant. _This is going to be awkward, no matter what. Better just go ahead and get it over._

"All right," the Doctor prompted. "We haven't much time."

Tentatively, Jack put his hands on the Doctor's chest. "I won't be offended if you want to just close your eyes and pretend I'm someone else," Jack said as he began stroking.

"Why the hell would I want to do that?"

"I don't know—I just figured since you're not in love with me, you'd rather be in this situation with someone else."

"Not especially." The Doctor's breathing began to accelerate, and Jack felt the hearts beating more quickly than usual. "See… I'd just rather not be in this situation at all."

"I thought you'd want to think of your wife or something."

"You humans are strange," the Doctor grunted.

"What? What's strange about it?"

"I'd do her a disservice, thinking of her right now. And you too, for that matter. You're the one saving my life. Whatever happens, this moment… this effort here… it's ours. I'm not in love with you, Jack. But I do love you."

Jack's breath caught on the way out, and the Doctor blinked frowningly at him.

"Come on, you knew that."

"Sure... but you never say it."

"Sorry." The Doctor was panting now. "I keep forgetting… how important it is to humans."

"May I kiss you?"

"I s'pose that would be conducive to our efforts. And one of us is about to die, after all."

Jack laughed quietly. Then he leaned down to kiss the Doctor softly. The Doctor returned the kiss with the tiniest amount of pressure. Then he broke away, gasping for breath.

"It's very… very difficult… to keep the regenerative process at bay… while working up the old hormones. Jack… Jack, listen…"

"What is it?"

"It's just that it's been a long time... I'm not likely to give you a very good impression."

"Ha, you're worried about performance at a time like this?"

"I just don't want to make you reluctant if you're going that way with the Master."

"Don't worry. It'll be fine. And I swear I won't give you a hard time about any of this. Ever."

The Doctor reached one hand up and caressed Jack's neck. "Don't mind me… involuntary reaction."

"No problem." Jack moved back and made a trail of kisses down the Doctor's chest.

The Doctor gasped.

"Are you okay? If you change your mind, we can stop. It's all right."

"No, no… go on. Having got this far it would be senseless to quit now. But please hurry."

Jack put his mouth over the Doctor's nipple and ran his tongue over and around it.

The Doctor jerked in response. He put both hands on Jack's shoulders and held him close. "Okay," he moaned. "We're getting there."

Jack trailed a hand down to check on the situation. "Pretty close?"

"Mm, yeah." The Doctor's face was glowing again.

"Do you want me to keep a layer between us?"

"At this point I think we just need to finish as quickly as possible. It's okay. But Jack…"

"Yeah?" Jack paused with his hand under the seam of the Doctor's trousers.

"That other thing I never told you…" the Doctor grimaced as a wave of regenerative energy shook him.

"Yeah?"

"Just… just remember I've got two hearts. You'll be fine."

_He still can't bring himself to say it,_ Jack surmised. _Oh well… I like surprises._ He pressed his chest against the Doctor's to be sure he was ready to absorb the poisoned secretion. Then he rested his head on the Doctor's shoulder, kissed his neck and moved his hand further down to get to work.

Jack couldn't tell if it was more the strain of holding back his regeneration, or the sweet torture of getting that kind of attention after so many years of celibacy, but the Doctor groaned and twitched under his touch. He kissed his neck again and whispered in his ear. "It's okay. I love you."

"Here it comes," the Doctor murmured.

Jack's eyes grew wide. "Oh. Wow. I understand now. You do have two hearts."

"Yes, and 'it's bigger on the inside,'" the Doctor confirmed. "You okay?"

"A little queasy, but very turned on," Jack assured him. Then he couldn't help adding, "You're like a two-headed snake."

"Dragon," the Doctor grunted. "I prefer dragon."

Jack grinned and laid a kiss on the Doctor's face, by his ear.

A little longer and the Doctor's breath rasped out heavily, ruffling Jack's hair in a warm breeze. Jack felt his chest become as hot as his hand as the secretion seeped through.

"Wow, that's very hot," he said, feeling short on breath himself. "But nice."

"Let's hope it works." The Doctor put his arms around Jack and rubbed his back. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Jack answered. "No one can say we didn't do our damnedest now."

"I'm afraid I'm probably going to fall asleep before you die," the Doctor said apologetically. "I'm pretty worn out, and the longer we lie here, the more tired I'll get."

"It's okay. I'm feeling kind of high…"

"Yes; you'll feel that way for a bit. It's all the energy I'm feeding you. If I do change after all… don't be scared, all right? I know it would be a bit frightening to wake up in bed with someone you didn't know—and tied to them with sexual secretion, no less."

"I'll be fine," Jack smiled. He felt the Doctor kiss his forehead.

"Good night, then.

* * *

><p>"Lucky bastard," the Master grumbled.<p>

"Who do you mean?" John asked.

"Jack—in there shagging the Doctor."

"Is that what's going on?" John looked the door over, as if trying to see through it.

"Not sure, but it might be. And if it is…. Lucky bastard."

John smiled. "All right, he's cute and all, but I don't see the huge attraction."

"He's the effing Doctor, that's what," the Master retorted. "For Jack, it's a lot of sentiment. But for me… oh, I'd like to screw him over. That would just be the end-all. To really dominate him physically. You're just a human. You don't understand."

"Oh, really? Who are you, anyway? I suppose you're the person Jack's been shagging up 'til now."

"No…" the Master considered. "More like I'm the person who's been shagging Jack. He's my bitch. He even calls me 'Master.'"

John blinked. "We can't be talking about the same Jack."

"Ask him yourself—if he ever gets done in there. Ask him what he calls me."

"Maybe I will. In the meantime, how about you try someone with a bit more stamina?"

"You?"

"Absolutely."

"No, thank you; maybe some other year. I do like your coat, though."

"Thanks; it's a good attractor. You'd look good in one, I think. Or maybe something suede."

The Master looked at John with new interest. "The Doctor's got a lovely wardrobe on board. We'll have to explore it together sometime."

"I'd like that."

* * *

><p>When Jack came to, he felt a pain in his chest. It took him a moment to realize the cause. His chest was cemented to the Doctor's, and when he moved, his chest hair strained in its follicles, sending a hundred pain impulses to his brain. He relaxed against his friend. <em>Doctor?<em>

The Doctor seemed to be the same, from what Jack could see of him. The regeneration glow seemed to be gone.

Jack stroked the Doctor's arm gently and waited. He wondered what time it was.

Finally, when Jack was starting to get sleepy himself, the Doctor stirred and then opened his eyes.

"Doctor?"

The Doctor blinked sleepily and turned his head toward Jack's. "Hullo."

"Hey."

"Did it work?" The Doctor looked a little worried.

"I think so; you look the same to me. Hang on…" Jack narrowed his eyes to take a more careful look. "Your eyes look kind of… hazel."

"Do they?"

"Yeah."

"Partial regeneration, maybe. Hm. Wait a moment…"

"What?"

"Your eyes look green. Have they always been green?"

"They're blue."

"No, these are green, mate. Emerald."

Jack kissed the Doctor's shoulder absent-mindedly. "Huh."

"And Jack… Do you feel my hearts beating?"

Jack concentrated on distinguishing the Doctor's heartbeats from his own. "Yeah… oh. Waaaaait. Oh, my god."

"Don't panic," the Doctor said, putting his arms comfortingly around Jack. "It's okay. I'm sure it'll be okay."

"I've got two hearts. I've got two freakin' hearts! What else have I got two of?"

"Jack, calm down," the Doctor pleaded. "It's not as bad as all that."

"Bad? This is bloody brilliant. It's great. Do you think it's permanent?"

"I don't know. This could all be temporary. Regeneration's a dodgy process."

"How the hell did it happen?"

"I suppose the regenerative energy went through the secretion and partially regenerated you. It changed the most important thing first and the change was reflected in your eye color."

"What about your eyes?"

"Well… either that was partial regeneration, or you're able to project some energy of your own—adding a hint of your blue eyes to my brown would make hazel, right?"

Jack nestled his face into the Doctor's neck. "Wow… that's kind of cool. How long do you think we'll be tied together?"

"Being that you're human and male, I'd say not long."

Jack bent his head down and took a lick at the secretion. It tasted strange—sweet and salty at the same time.

"Jack."

"Sorry; if I didn't try it I'd wonder for the rest of my life what it tasted like. You didn't tell me it was green."

The Doctor gave a small shrug. "Didn't seem important. Anyway, it's only green-tinted. Almost clear, really. When the green gets fairly solid, it'll start to break up and we'll be able to pull apart."

_Like a pre-sliced bagel,_ Jack thought to himself with a smirk. He relaxed against the Doctor's neck again. "Are you still tired?"

"Yes. I'll need to sleep again soon. And when we do get apart, I'll want something to eat. I already feel hungry."

"Okay. I'll get something for you first thing." Jack closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. "Doctor? Are you glad about the way things turned out?"

The Doctor nodded. "I am glad I didn't have to change. Thank you." He rested his chin against Jack's head.

"My pleasure."

"Oh, I sincerely doubt that."

Jack grinned, surprised at the Doctor's suggestive humor. _First 'it's bigger on the inside;' now this. Maybe that's his way of coping with the awkwardness._ His last thought before slipping into sleep was, _Two hearts. Good grief._

* * *

><p><em>If you skipped the chapter: Jack realized that the only way to keep the Doctor from regenerating was to get him to expel the poison through the secretion from his chest at sexual climax. He convinced a very reluctant Doctor to try the scheme. Jack absorbed the poison after manipulating the Doctor and the plan seemed to work—except that their eyes changed color and Jack now has two hearts.<em>

_Again, I apologize if I disturbed anyone, but I think the warning was ample. :p Hope you enjoyed the banter between John and the Master. They'll probably get along all too well.  
><em>


	14. The Morning After

_Some serious DW (10th Doctor adventures) spoilers in this one. Might be considered Torchwood spoiler, too._

_Some crude joking and innuendo... because it's unavoidable. xp Also a very toned-down recap of the night before.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Fourteen: The Morning After_  
><em>

* * *

><p>At first, the Doctor thought his ravenous hunger had awakened him. Then he realized that Jack was breathing quickly, his hearts beating a tattoo on the Doctor's chest. <em>Oh, please tell me he's not having an erotic dream… that would just be too much.<em> "Jack?"

Jack groaned in his sleep. He didn't say anything intelligible, but he sounded distressed.

The Doctor placed his hands at the sides of Jack's head and closed his eyes. He stepped into Jack's mind and looked around. _Empty. All empty halls and corridors. That's ironic. Why can't I see his memories? I'm sure they ought to be just here._ He walked a little further and saw a faint light through a doorway. _Here we are…_ He passed through the door and was met with the sight of Gray holding Jack down, molesting him. _Oh, god._ He quickly exited Jack's subconscious.

"Jack? Jack, wake up. It's only a dream." He shook Jack's shoulder lightly.

Jack lurched awake. "Gray," he panted.

"It's just me," the Doctor said softly. "You're safe."

Jack sank back down and wrapped his arms tightly around the Doctor.

The Doctor rubbed the back of Jack's head. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered.

"Nonsense. Don't apologize. Everyone has the odd nightmare. On the bright side, we're not tied anymore. We can get up now."

"I'm happy where I am."

"Well, my arm's asleep."

"Oh." Jack rolled off the Doctor, keeping one arm around him. "Better?"

"Pins and needles," the Doctor winced. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm sure it won't be my last nightmare. But thanks for pulling me out of this one."

The Doctor glanced at Jack and saw that his friend had closed his eyes again. "Jack?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry, but… I'm very hungry."

"Oh, right." Jack sat up and looked around for his shirt.

"There's a lav through that door where you can clean up."

Jack followed the Doctor's nod. "Wow." He looked around the room. "I didn't notice any of this last night…"

The Doctor looked fondly at his décor. Deep blue walls with white stars splattered on, two comfy chairs, an ancient-looking bookcase, a star and planet mobile over the bed... "It's not much. It wasn't intended for anyone but me to look at. No one else has been in here since… I don't know when. And now I shall have to completely redecorate," he added in a complaining tone.

"What for?"

"Well, because you've seen it, of course."

"Is it taboo, like seeing the bride's gown before the wedding?"

The Doctor frowned. "It's private; that's all."

"By that line of reasoning, you should regenerate now."

"Oi. Have a care."

Jack smiled and headed for the bathroom.

"You know," the Doctor mused.

Jack turned back. "What?"

Nestling back in his pillow with a satisfied smirk, the Doctor said, "This bad boy's still got it."

Jack laughed. "So you're allowed to joke about it and I'm not?"

"Well, it's sort of about me, innit?"

"Sure. Whatever you say… Dragon."

"Ah, ah—no more," the Doctor said sternly. "You promised."

"Okay." Jack looked sheepish. "Just a little friendly teasing." He went on into the other room.

The Doctor picked a green flake off his chest and let it dissolve in his mouth, knowing it was one of the surest ways to help restore his energy. He closed his eyes. He felt very tired. And very hungry. And very warm. He smiled.

He had almost nodded off when he felt Jack fold the comforter over him. He blinked groggily. "Thanks."

"No problem. Are you all right?"

"I will be."

"Are we okay?"

"I think so." _I'm too tired to think about that yet._

"What do you want to eat?"

"Oh… how about something staple like bacon and eggs?"

"Do you know the code for that?"

"Yes; J six two, L six."

"Okay. Water?"

"Yes, please. Jack…" the Doctor hesitated. "I think… I want to say that I don't think I could have gotten through this without you. I mean…" _Make sense,_ he scolded himself. "I mean I doubt anyone else could have walked me through this… process as… as patiently and… understandingly as you did." He kept his eyes away from Jack. "Thank you."

After a long silence, Jack answered, "I'm not sure I could have done it for anyone else." He let himself out.

The Doctor pulled the comforter tightly around himself and tried to sleep once more. But the edge of his exhaustion was worn down and his hunger was becoming more prominent. He absent-mindedly nibbled more of the dried secretion and his mind turned to the night before. Jack taking his shirt off without his usual exhibitionist's flare… Jack's hands on him… Jack's mouth on him…. And always the kind, careful words. He hated to admit it, but he had been something near panic before Jack had caressed him and whispered in his ear. Then it had seemed all right again.

_Jack would never hurt me. Jack will always make sure I'm all right. He'll never press his advantage. He'll always be too good to me._

_I misjudged him very badly._

* * *

><p>"What are you two up to?" Jack asked, finding John and the Master sitting in the Tardis kitchen, helping themselves to a small feast.<p>

"You're finally up!" the Master exclaimed. "We gave you up for dead about an hour after you went in."

"I slept in your room," John said, flashing his eyebrows at Jack. "Hope you don't mind. The bed smelt like you very nicely. I missed you."

"Just change the sheets before you go," Jack muttered, going to the food dispenser and putting in the code the Doctor had given him.

"I didn't miss you _that_ much," John said, smirking. "Now, Jack—this fellow here. What do you call him?"

"Who—the Master?"

The Master grinned. "Told you."

"You actually call him 'the Master?'"

"Uh…" Jack looked from John to the Master and back. He shrugged. "Timelords have weird names."

"It's his name?"

"Yeah. You know—the Doctor, the Master…"

John scowled at the Master. "You might have said it was your name."

"I didn't say it _wasn't,_" the Master sniffed.

"And I suppose when you said Jack was your 'bitch,' you were going for Barcelonan humor?"

Jack forgot the Doctor's breakfast and went to kick the chair out from under the Master. "You told him _WHAT?"_

The Master scrambled to keep from falling over. "It was a laugh," he said. "He seemed like an annoying busybody, so I just spun a few harmless white lies."

"Busybody, yes, but white lies? No. White lies are when you say you ate one cookie when you ate one and a half," Jack corrected. "What you told was a lie so black it makes a black hole look white."

"In other words, the Master is _your_ bitch?" John asked.

"Okay, maybe not quite that black," Jack amended.

John looked disappointed. "You two haven't actually shagged, have you?"

Jack and the Master turned away from each other to stare at John.

"No…" Jack started.

"…But we're about to," said the Master.

"We're both going to do you," said Jack.

"So hard your grandchildren will be born holding packs of condoms," the Master added.

For a moment, John looked worried. Then he laughed loudly. "Hell, I've got nothing better to do. Come on."

Jack rolled his eyes and went back to the food dispenser to retrieve the Doctor's bacon and eggs cube and glass of water. "So, did you try to escape last night?"

"Who, me?" the Master asked. "Where would I go? We're on bloody Barcelona in the bloody 26th century. Who wants to be stuck here with no Tardis? Is that for the Doctor?"

"Yup."

"Did he regenerate?"

"Nope."

"It worked, then?" the Master looked gleeful.

Jack nodded.

"You lucky bastard."

Jack nodded again and grinned.

"What was it like? Story, story."

"Sorry, but I'm taking this to the grave."

"You already took it to the grave last night. Tell."

"Nope. I need to get this to him before it gets cold."

"Damn. I'll get it out of you," the Master threatened.

"I'll help you," John offered.

Jack ignored them and made his way back to the Doctor's room.

"John's getting along with the Master a little too well," he reported. He saw that the Doctor had changed into pajamas and crawled under the covers.

"Hmm. Do you think it'll mean trouble?"

"Too soon to tell. How are you feeling?"

"All right. Pretty good, I s'pose." The Doctor unwrapped the cube and ate half of it quickly. "Oh, that's better. Thanks."

"You're welcome." Jack sat on the edge of the bed. "Do you still think you want to go on this wild goose chase of John's?"

"Definitely. More than ever."

_I was afraid of that._ "Okay. I'll go, too."

"Who will stay to look after the prisoners? I can't leave the Master here unsupervised."

"Maybe we can convince him to come along."

The Doctor shook his head. "No; I… I don't think we'd be able to keep watch on him very well. And this thing the Reavers stole… John said it was dangerous in the wrong hands. If the Master got _his_ hands on it, it'd be the end of the world all over again."

"You're probably right. So… we can have someone from the _Serenity _keep an eye on him and Gray while we're gone. I'm sure they'll agree if we pay them."

"Maybe." The Doctor finished his meal and tossed the foil into a little waste bin near the door.

"Nice shot. So, tell me—if this room is for your eyes only, why do you have two armchairs?"

The Doctor stared blankly at the chairs for a moment. "Well, that was… I just thought…. Symmetry," he said at last.

"Really."

"Yup. Symmetry."

Jack eyed the randomly spaced stars splattered on the walls and the asymmetrical mobile. "Uhuh. That's obviously the theme of this room."

The Doctor set his empty water glass on the bedside table and propped himself up with his pillows. "Do you think… well, could I…" He leaned forward a little. "May I listen?" he asked, looking down.

For a moment Jack couldn't respond.

"I… I don't mean to—"

"Yeah," Jack said quickly. "Of course, you can."

Looking shy, the Doctor put one arm around Jack and supported himself with the other as he leaned his head against Jack's chest.

Jack kept perfectly still, trying to keep his breathing steady. He kept his hands at his sides, but he wanted nothing more than to wrap them around his friend.

After a minute, the Doctor sighed quietly and sat back. "Thank you." He grasped Jack's arm lightly and looked up at him. His eyes looked moist. "It's been so very long… since I heard the heartbeat of another Timelord."

Jack couldn't hold back any longer. He pulled the Doctor into his arms. "Doctor… I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too. You're so much more than I first took you for, Jack."

"Well, that's because of you. You made me this way."

The Doctor rubbed Jack's shoulder gently. "Then I s'pose I ought to be very proud."

_Have I ever been this happy before? It's been a long, long time._ Jack rested his head on the Doctor's and closed his eyes. "Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"I want to ask a favor of you."

"What is it?"

Jack took a deep breath. "Even though I can't die, I am aging. It's so slow, even people who don't see me for centuries can't seem to tell the difference. But someday I know I'm going to die for the last time." He paused; the Doctor didn't say anything. "When that happens, I want you to be there. I just want to know that I won't have to be alone, and that my best friend will be there to say goodbye."

The Doctor was breathing harder now, but he still didn't answer.

"And then… if someday you know that you're dying and you won't be able to regenerate, you can come back and find me. Sometime I haven't gotten to yet, but maybe not too far from now. And then you won't have to be alone either."

"Jack, I…" the Doctor's voice was so tight, Jack was sure he was crying. "I can't promise."

_What's wrong? I know you hate goodbyes, but…_ "Doctor, it'll be okay. No matter what happens, I want to be there for you."

"It's not that," the Doctor whispered. "It's just… oh, god."

"What is it?" Jack asked, very worried now.

"I… I've…"

"You've already been to the time when I die?" Jack guessed.

"I think I have," the Doctor said shakily. "I'm not completely sure… that's what's so horrible. _I didn't know you._ I knew you were a friend, but I didn't know you were _Jack."_

Jack held the Doctor as tightly as he thought he could without offending him. He felt the Doctor kiss his neck and he shivered a little.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," the Doctor said.

Jack felt tears on his neck then. He cradled the Doctor's head. "It's okay," he said. "I'm sorry I didn't think of that… I didn't mean to pressure you."

The Doctor hugged Jack more tightly than he usually did.

"I change a lot, then. It must be a lot if you didn't recognize me. That's okay. Hell, after a few thousand years, I'll probably be sick of this appearance. Do I die well?"

"Oh yes," the Doctor gasped. "Very well."

"Good. I don't want to just keel over from old age."

The Doctor groaned. "There's nothing dishonorable about dying of old age."

"Well, now that I know you'll be there, I feel a little better about it—even if you won't know who I am. Do I at least know who you are?"

"Definitely. You gave me a bit of important information the last time we met."

"Good for me." Jack smiled.

"If it was you. Like I said, I'm not one hundred percent certain."

"If you didn't know me, that also means we'd been apart for a long time," said Jack.

"Not necessarily. It was the last time we met _for you._ But maybe I do know you in your changed state later on and just haven't gotten there yet."

"That's true." Jack instantly felt better.

"Jack, I won't abandon you again." The Doctor put his mouth by Jack's ear and went on softly, "I may have to leave you for a while, but I swear I won't abandon you. Never."

_That's what I needed to hear._ Jack melted against the Doctor. He felt tears in his own eyes, but he didn't care. _I love you so much._

"I've got to sleep again," the Doctor said apologetically. "Will you stay with me? I want you to be here when I wake up."

"I'll be here," Jack promised.

* * *

><p>"Jack's so predictable," John scoffed as his vortex manipulator succeeded in cracking the code on Gray's door. "Hullo, Gray," he greeted. "Brought someone for you to meet."<p>

Gray looked from John to the Master.

"So nice to meet you," the Master told him. "You got your brother's good looks."

"John," Gray said coldly, "Would you please burn my face off?"

John looked a little unsettled, but the Master laughed.

"I didn't say it was your_ face_ that reflected his good looks."

"Are you the one he's sleeping with these days?"

"No; not yet. We're savoring the preliminaries, as it were. You know… no offense, but you could use a change in wardrobe. Something military."

"I hate military."

"Ouch," said John.

"Don't worry, Captain, your Bonaparte duds will always be a favorite of mine," the Master consoled him. Then he turned back to Gray. "Perhaps royalty, then. A French king or something."

"Why are you here?" Gray asked.

"Mostly just fun. Boredom. Jack and the Doctor seem to be having a perpetual sleepover, so there's nothing to do."

Gray looked disgusted. "And I thought the Doctor was the one person who would never give in."

"There were… extenuating circumstances. But after all, you're one to talk."

"What do you mean?"

"Even you want to sleep with Jack. Or have you given up abusing your brother sexually?"

Gray's hands curled into fists and his eyes narrowed.

"I think this was a bad idea," John muttered.

"It's only abuse if it's undeserved. This was simply use."

"Humans," the Master groaned. "You know, your species set a good example for me—making up my own rules as I went along. But once in a while you have to sit back and let someone else make the rules or you go mad." He blinked. _Oh, my god, was that me talking? Oh well. Maybe I'll spout more wisdom if I keep talking…_ "Your trouble is you have no constancy. Every time someone calls you out on one of your rules, you just change it slightly. And then before you know it, you're fighting the very things you went rogue for in the first place." _Hey, that sounded good. I'm good. I am very good._

"Get out," Gray growled. "Get out!"

"Good suggestion," said John, pulling the Master back toward the door. "I think you've said quite enough for one visit."

They closed the door behind them and immediately heard a crash as something heavy shook the door. The Master wondered what Gray had thrown at it—perhaps a chair.

John sealed the door. "That was a mistake," he said.

"Hmm. I wonder."

"What did you have to get him so angry for?"

"I guess he made me angry first by 'lesting my lover."

"If you want Jack to be your lover, you'll have to get in line. Anyway, whatever you do, don't tell him what happened. He'll kill us both. And I can't regenerate."

* * *

><p><em>The Master gets a creativity award for abbreviating the word "molesting" with "lesting." Because he's twisted like that. Hope you liked the chapter.<br>_


	15. Unknown Territory

_Several new reviewers just came out of the woodwork after the last chapter, so thanks! I really enjoy reading what you have to say._

_I don't think there were any spoilers in this one. :)  
><em>

_Adult content: You may want to skip from the fifth break to the seventh if you get squeamish over sexual content. It's not hard to figure out what happened, though, so I won't bother with a summary at the end._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Fifteen: Unknown Territory_  
><em>

* * *

><p>When John declared his intention to meddle with the Tardis controls and see what he could figure out, the Master had bid him good luck and left for the library, saying something about a goblet of fire. Disappointed in the Master's lack of camaraderie, John wandered to the control room and was surprised to find a girl there.<p>

"Who are you?"

"Where is the Doctor?"

"In his room, I expect. Now, answer my question. Who are you?"

"I'm here to see Gray. Kaylee brought me."

"Oh, now it all makes sense," John said sarcastically. When the girl tried to move around him, he blocked her path. "I can't just let you go where you please."

"I'm going to see Gray."

"Yeah, well he's not so well in the head these days, so I'm afraid I can't let you."

"Move."

John arched an eyebrow. "Or what? Is a little thing like you going to make me move?"

"Yes."

He smiled. "Okay, love. Have a go."

She kicked him in the stomach so fast he never saw it coming.

"Oh…" John gasped, his eyes wide with surprise. "All right. Not bad. But…"

The girl leaped into the air, vaulted off John's shoulders and came down behind him. Before John could even try to turn around she had one arm around his throat, a hand holding his wrist behind him and a knee hitting his lower back with incredible force.

John sank to his knees in pain. "Okay… I surrender," he whimpered.

"Will you open Gray's door for me?"

"Sure. Anything you like." _Who the hell is she? Maybe she's Gray's girl friend. That would be interesting. She's scary. And sexy._

* * *

><p>"Gray, another visitor for you."<p>

River went to him and Gray took her hands and kissed her cheek. "Much better than the last one," he approved.

"Who is she?" John asked. "She beat me up and forced me to bring her here."

Gray smiled. "You look okay to me, wuss. Her name's River. She's from the _Serenity _crew—her brother's the ship's doctor."

"The Doctor must have forgotten I was coming today," River told him.

"Well, he's had a lot going on," John said. "What with being poisoned and all. Was anyone on your ship poisoned?"

"No. The Doctor warned us in time."

"Well, that's good. I'm sorry about that. Not my fault, of course."

"Is he your friend?" River asked Gray.

"I've been wondering that myself." Gray looked up at John. "Leave us alone, please?"

John hesitated. "I'm not sure I should…"

"If she beat you up, what do you think I can do to hurt her?"

"Well, but she might try to help you escape…"

"If she did, would you really be able to stop us?"

"Good point… I'll look in on you in a little while, then." John left and closed the door.

Gray hugged River. "I'm so glad you came."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

"Why did you hurt your brother?"

_She's always so blunt. But that's what I like about her. She's honest._ "You wouldn't understand."

"Is it because he hurt you? But he never touched you."

"No; he didn't do anything to me himself. But he let them take me. He hurt me inside. That's worse."

"So, you hurt him inside to make up for it?"

Gray frowned. "I guess… something like that."

"Do you feel better now?"

_No. I feel so bad I want to die. I shouldn't have been born._ "No."

River tugged him down and they sat on the floor. "When you have what you want—when you've made him hurt as much as you can—what will you do then?"

"Lose him, I hope. Go somewhere where I won't ever have to think of him again."

"What good will that do? You'll both still be hurting."

Gray stared at the floor. "Then maybe I'll just end this—let him be the only one left to hurt." He glanced at her and saw her eyes shining. "It's okay," he said quietly, reaching up to brush her tears away. "I'm so tired of living. I've seen too much. Felt too much."

She shook her head. "Not kindness. Jack is trying to be kind to you."

"Well, 'trying' is the word. He doesn't know how. Can you hear him now?"

River looked around the room, as if trying to see something, rather than hear it. "He loves the Doctor."

"I figured. At least he can love _someone_."

"And he's worried about you. He wants to see you."

"I don't want to see him."

"He has two hearts."

"What?" Gray looked quizzically at River. "Did you say two hearts?"

She shrugged. "Yes."

"What do you mean?"

River put a hand over Gray's heart. "I mean he has two."

"But… I don't understand. How could that happen?"

"I'm not sure."

Gray didn't know what to think. Could Jack really have grown another heart? Or were his thoughts just all mixed together? Maybe River was misinterpreting them.

* * *

><p>Jack was startled from his thoughts by a knock on the Doctor's door. He crept over to it and opened it a crack to see John looking anxious.<p>

"Look, don't kill me, but this girl showed up to see Gray…"

"River? Where is she?"

"She's with him."

"In his room?" Jack asked, slipping into the hall and closing the door quietly behind him.

"She made me let her in."

"A hundred-pound girl made you? Will you listen to yourself?"

"You don't know what she is—that girl's like an assassin. She had me down before I could make up my mind to defend myself."

Jack knew John wouldn't admit to such humiliation if it weren't true—normally not even then. "She must have just snapped. She's a little… off."

"You think?"

"Shut up. Come on."

Jack opened Gray's door as soon as they arrived. Gray and River were sitting close together on the floor.

"Go away," Gray said.

"I'm sorry, but I can't leave the two of you unsupervised, and the Doctor is asleep."

"Wore him out?"

Jack gritted his teeth.

"We were done anyway," Gray declared. He hugged River. "Come again soon."

River kissed his face and got to her feet. "Don't stay closed so tight," she told him. Then she wandered past Jack and a respectful John into the hall.

"Gray," Jack said.

Gray didn't look at him. "I have nothing to say to you."

Jack stared at his brother a moment. "All right. I love you."

Gray remained rigid, no reaction showing on his face.

"This is killing you, Jack," John said as they followed River back toward the control room. "What kind of life do you think you can have, always carting him round with you?"

Jack found himself grabbing John by the throat and pinning him against the wall. "Get something straight," he said as John struggled to keep his windpipe open. "I don't have to look after Gray. I _get_ to. He's the only brother I have. And whatever state he's in physically or mentally, I love him. If you're not going to help then go away."

"That's lovely," came the Master's voice from behind them. "Could I get an instant replay? And who's this? Is it River? Good to finally see you."

"You're the bad one," River observed.

"Oh, that's dreadfully unfair. Jack, what have you told her?"

"Nothing." Jack released John. "River and I don't talk much."

"That's a shame; she seems charming. Tell me, my dear, what do you think of Gray's sanity?"

"More than you do," she answered.

"That's likely enough. Do you think he can be cured?"

"He isn't sick. He doesn't need to be cured."

"What does he need?" Jack asked. _Please, give me anything I can use. You seem to understand him so much better than I do…_

River shook her head. "You're already giving what he needs. He doesn't understand."

"What will make him understand?" asked John, keeping a respectful distance from both River and Jack.

"The dimensions are relative."

"What does that mean?"

Jack's mind raced. _Time and relative dimensions in space… the genius way of saying 'it's bigger on the inside'… _Gray's voice ordering him_, "Tell me you're sorry…. Tell me you love me," _and then saying _"I want the brother I thought you were." … He's still a child inside._

He looked at River, remembering how the Doctor had said he unsettled her understanding of the universe. There was something here, something crucial under the surface of all these confused thoughts, but he couldn't quite pull it out.

"Well, let's all sit down to tea, shall we?" the Master suggested, tucking _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ under his arm—no easy task, considering the width of the book.

John followed his lead and the party made their way to the kitchen.

"Tea will be just the thing for the Doctor when he wakes up," the Master went on.

_When he wakes up… I promised I'd be there when he wakes up._ "I've got to get back to him. Bring some when it's ready, will you?" He hurried away.

* * *

><p>The Doctor awoke to the warm, pleasant aroma of tea. "Mm. Tea. Good idea. Got any crumpets?"<p>

"The dragon awakes at last."

"Stop it."

Jack gave the Doctor's hand a squeeze and turned to the tea tray on the bedside table. "I'm really not trying to give you a hard time. I just think it would make a nice nickname now…"

"No."

"Okay, fine."

"Not in front of the others, anyway."

Jack grinned. He gave the Doctor a cup of tea. "River's here, by the way."

"Oh, blast, I forgot she was coming."

"Well, it's okay. She apparently roughed John up a little, which is fine with me."

"She did what?"

"She attacked him. Got in some good hits, too."

The Doctor remembered what Simon had told him about his sister. "There's so much about that girl that intrigues me. Most of the time she's quite gentle, but then she comes out with something like this."

"She got John to let her in to see Gray. Apparently that went all right. I wonder what it is about River that Gray likes so much."

"Her innocence?" the Doctor suggested. "Or maybe it's that she's been hurt, too. He feels as if he can be honest with her and believe in her honesty in return. It's sort of pointless not to be honest with someone who can read your mind, anyway."

"Does she really read minds? Or is she just very perceptive?"

"I don't think she reads them like books. But I do think she can hear some thoughts, especially the ones most prominent in our minds. Susan showed an aptitude for it… I meant to look into that more, but…" he trailed off, remembering the time he had first left his granddaughter by herself on Earth. It was one of the hardest things he had ever done.

"You still miss her a lot," Jack observed. "After all this time."

The Doctor nodded. "It comes and goes. There are so many people we've had to leave behind. If I spent all my time wishing they were here, I should never be happy again." He stretched. "Well… I'm feeling a lot better now. Think I'll get up for a bit. I think we ought to tell the Master and Gray about going on Captain Hart's witch hunt and see how they take it. We're supposed to sign up tomorrow night, right?"

"Okay. I'll tell the Master and you tell Gray?"

"I think that'd be best."

* * *

><p>"One more time," the Master said slowly. "You're going with Captain Napoleon Dynamite after the Grim Reapers to recover a pearl of great price and you want to go… why?"<p>

"Do you even know who Napoleon Dynamite is?"

"Saw it on the shelf in the library. Dusty. Looked unused. But I thought it was a lovely title."

Jack sighed. "John thinks the Reavers got hold of something dangerous, so we're going to hunt them down. We can't take you along…"

"Well good, 'cause I don't wanna go. Bored out of my mind here or dead there? Easy choice. You have fun, Jack. Just please make sure you don't let the Doctor get killed. Otherwise I'll never be able to leave the Tardis again. He's got it all dead-lock sealed against my escape."

"Someone from the _Serenity_ will come by to make sure you have food and everything."

"Too kind."

"Master?"

"Hmm?" the Master studied Jack's face.

"I don't know how long we'll be gone. It could be a few days or… maybe months. I hope not, but it could."

"All right."

Jack paused. He knew the Master wasn't going to be devastated at his leaving, but he wished he would show some sign that he would be missed. "I'll be thinking about you," he said.

The Master's mouth twitched. "That… that's very sweet," he said, managing not to sound too sarcastic. He leaned forward and kissed Jack.

Jack slipped his arms around the Master and kissed him back.

The Master put his hands on Jack's shoulders, probably more to maintain distance than to get more contact. Then he pulled away, staring at Jack.

Jack gave him a questioning look.

Slowly, the Master reached out and put his hand on Jack's chest. His eyes widened. "What the hell… did this happen last night?"

Knowing there was no point in trying to cover it now, Jack answered, "Yeah."

"You've got to be careful how close you get when a Timelord's in his regenerative phase… good lord. You might have been killed, you know."

"I was."

"Oh… I forgot. Anyway…" The Master's hand still rested over Jack's new heart. Suddenly he kissed Jack again, this time grabbing his neck and pulling him closer.

Surprised but not complaining, Jack returned the kiss. He opened his mouth to let the Master's tongue in, and was surprised to feel the Timelord's hands moving over his shoulders and down his chest. They pulled his suspenders to the side and worked their way back to his collar.

"Master," Jack panted.

"Yes, what is it?" the Master answered, sounding annoyed at the interruption.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Don't take away the spontaneity of the moment. Shut up." He tried to resume.

"I was just going to say—I've got condoms in my room. And the door locks from the inside."

"Damn it, fair points both. Let's go."

* * *

><p>Jack no sooner got his door locked than the Master started pulling at his clothes. Jack expertly undid the Master's buttons in record time. They made their way to the bed, hands and mouths very busy. Jack's outer shirt hit the floor before they got there.<p>

"You going to be all right?" the Master grunted.

"Should be. Just… go easy until I'm sure." Jack gasped as the Master ran his hands over his chest. _Holy crow, why does that feel so…?_

The Master pulled Jack down onto the bed, kissing and licking his neck. "What exactly is 'easy' for you?"

Jack put his hands in the Master's open shirt, surprised to find him quite fit despite being frozen cryogenically for some time and then cooped up. "You are," he laughed.

The Master gave him a light nip. Jack jerked away.

"Okay, biting's not the best idea."

"Fine." The Master licked the bitten spot as if in apology. He pulled Jack's tee shirt up, and Jack helped get it off. Soon they were both bare-chested.

Jack found himself squirming under the Master's touch. _How is he doing this to me? I've never been this sensitive…_ He paused in his attentions to his partner as he realized. _Of course… I have two hearts._

"Trouble?" the Master asked.

Jack shook his head. "No, but… what happens now? I'm not going to be your 'bitch.'"

"Yes, yes. But we can't both top."

"Sure we can; just not at the same time."

"Okay; I'll go first."

Jack kissed him aggressively. "I'm not sure about that. I've never had anything like you inside me."

"Well, in all fairness, I've never been inside anything quite like you. Furthermore, I've never had _anyone_ top me before. So I think the burden of patience lies with you."

Jack wanted to argue, but the skilled fingers fondling his chest were making it impossible. _This isn't good. I'm in completely unknown territory. Damn it, I should have been more careful._ "All right, how about this—you can have me first, but I'm on top."

For the first time, the Master didn't look sure of himself. "How does that work?"

Jack smiled. "You'd be surprised."

"Okay… you're the expert. Teach me."

* * *

><p>It wasn't as bad as Jack had feared. <em>Hell, nothing's as bad as a Raxacoricofallapatorian,<em> he told himself with a hazy smile. _At least male Timelords have their own lubrication, too. _He supported himself with his arms until the Master's secretion stopped, congratulating himself on avoiding getting tied together. Then he lowered himself back down and licked at the grainy substance. It dissolved similarly to cotton candy.

The Master wasn't lucid enough to react. His breathing was quick and heavy, his eyes half closed. After a minute or two, he moved his hands over Jack's shoulders and caressed his neck.

"What do you say, Tiger?" Jack asked. He rubbed the Master's arm.

"That was… really different."

"Yeah. Any other thoughts?"

"Lots. But they haven't got names."

Jack chuckled and kissed the Master's chest. "How long will it take you to recover?"

The Master scowled and moved partway out from under Jack. "I don't need to 'recover.' I'm much more enduring than that pipsqueak you shagged last night."

"It's not like that," Jack snapped.

"I know." The Master smiled and kissed Jack lightly. "I think I'm ready as I'll ever be."

"Have you changed your mind?"

"Don't worry, I'm a member of the fair play club now. I know how this works."

"I know what's fair. But I also know that I never want to force anyone into this. Or guilt them into it. It's not for everyone. So, are you sure?"

The Master studied Jack's face for a long time. "You know," he said, "I don't think I was sure until just now… I want to do this."

"Okay." Jack stroked the Master's face with one hand. "How do you want it?"

"With cream and sugar," the Master quipped, rolling away from Jack. "Will this work? Side by side?"

"Anything works if you know what you're doing," Jack said with a smile. He put an arm around the Master and kissed the back of his neck. "I'll take it slow and go real easy on you since this is your first time."

"You make me sound like a virgin."

"Do I make you feel like one?"

"Hm. Little bit, I s'pose. Don't let it go to your head."

"There are _so_ many ways I could come back to that," Jack grinned. He moved closer so his chest was against the Master's back. "If you need to stop at some point, just tell me, okay? I'm not teasing; I'm being serious."

The Master nodded. "All right." He took Jack's hand and kissed it before Jack pulled it back to get started.

_If you had told me a week ago…_ Jack thought to himself. _No, even yesterday. I never would have dreamed we could get here so quickly._

In a way, it was thanks to the Doctor. _Now there's irony._

* * *

><p>It was difficult to say who was more surprised—the Master at discovering that 51st century male humans had also evolved to produce their own lubrication, or Jack to discover that he too produced a clear green secretion at climax.<p>

"Damn… looks like I got all but the best part," he muttered as the Master pulled away to keep them from becoming tied.

"How does that condom work with the natural lubrication?" the Master asked, stroking Jack's hand which rested on his hip.

Jack blinked, slowly returning from his blissful high. "Um… it's a semi-permeable. But the name's misleading. What it really means is the lubrication is the only thing that can seep through."

"Oh. That's clever."

"Yeah… we're pretty creative when it comes to sex."

"So I've noticed."

When they had rested a while, the Master commented, "I've committed treason now."

"Treason? What do you mean?"

"In my society, you could get in serious trouble just for consorting with humans. Sleeping with one? That's forced regeneration for certain. I might be able to find some loophole though, seeing as you're immortal and have two hearts."

"That's ridiculous. A council shouldn't decide stuff like that for you."

"Oh, I don't know… I'd liken it to a human deciding to have sex with his dog. Maybe they're both perfectly fine with it, but it's not socially acceptable."

"Well… it's not illegal where I come from," Jack said distastefully. "But I prefer my partners to be capable of a meaningful relationship."

"But don't you see? That's how the Timelords look at humans. They're a lower life form. And though they may be sentient, they're not to be fraternized with."

Jack shook his head. "Bull shit."

The Master turned toward Jack and snaked his arm around him. "I wouldn't have agreed with you a week ago. But I do now."

Jack stroked the Master's cheek and looked into his eyes. He couldn't see any hint of the wild light they had housed when they first met. _I can't hope it's completely gone for good. I can't really trust him. Not yet._ But he knew it was too late to keep from forming a bond of affection. "When I get back from this Reaver hunt, you'll be waiting for me, right?"

"Mm, I don't want you to go, now."

"I have to. The Doctor's set on going and I'm not letting him out of my sight."

"Well, try to get it done quickly, then, eh?"

"I'll try."

* * *

><p>"I want to go."<p>

"What? What for?"

"I want to kill as many of them as I can."

The Doctor looked askance at Gray. "You really think I'll let you carry a weapon?"

"I'll kill them with my hands, then."

"Even if I would, Jack will never let you go."

"Is he going to decide when I get to pee, too? He can't keep me here forever. Besides, what if you get killed and Jack gets captured? There won't be anyone to come let me out."

"I told you, someone from the _Serenity_ will keep an eye on you."

"You really think they'll want to get stuck with me? If something goes wrong, they'll most likely abandon me. Not their problem."

"River won't let them leave you. You know that."

"I'm going."

"You can't."

"If you leave without me, I'll slit my wrists as soon as you're gone."

The Doctor closed his eyes in sadness. "Please, don't say that, Gray."

"I mean it."

_He would, too. He thinks he has nothing to live for._ "I… I'll see if I can talk Jack into letting you come. But I don't think he'll listen. He wants to keep you safe, especially from the people who tortured you before."

"This is the one bit of satisfaction I can hope to get. I know how these people think. I know how they work. I can fight them. You tell him what I said. If he wants me safe, he'd better take me along. Because I _will_ kill myself."

The Doctor retreated to the hall and sealed the door. _How will I tell him? He'll be devastated…. But we have no choice._

* * *

><p><em>Is everyone okay? ^^ Hope you liked the chapter.<br>_


	16. Spare Wheel

_No big bad spoilers or much adult content. Just happy-go-lucky soap opera. Have fun. Oh, and yes: I know the chapter title is the same as the story title. ;)  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Sixteen: Spare Wheel_  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack found the Doctor in the control room. "There you are," he said, as if he had been looking for the Doctor a long time. In reality, he had taken so long to find the Doctor because he'd paused to take his second shower of the day after his encounter with the Master. "The Master seems okay with us going; I don't think he'll be a problem. What did Gray say?"<p>

The Doctor didn't turn toward him. "Gray said… he wants to come along."

Jack frowned. "Why? I would think he'd want to keep as far away from the Reavers as he could."

"He wants to take revenge on them. I suppose he thinks if he can't kill you, this is the next best thing."

"Well, he can't go. I'm never letting him near them again."

"I told him he couldn't. But then he said…" the Doctor took a deep breath. "If we don't let him go, he's going to slit his wrists."

Jack felt as if his hearts were suddenly pumping ice water instead of blood. He leaned on one of the Tardis' support beams as the image of Gray's pale, cold body presented itself to him. He could see himself running to kneel beside Gray in a pool of blood, holding him and weeping in agony.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I don't see how we can refuse him."

"We can't," Jack agreed quietly. "Damn it. Of all the times we could have landed on Barcelona... we had to come when John was here with his stupid mission."

The Doctor went to Jack and put his arms around him. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known." Jack sighed. "I guess we'll just have to make sure we're completely prepared. It probably won't come to direct fighting anyway, right? It'll all be done from the ships."

"We can hope so."

* * *

><p>That evening John delivered Gray's supper to him. "Mind if I join you?" he asked.<p>

"Do I have a choice?" Gray asked coldly.

"Not really. I hear you're determined to go on this mission of mine."

"If you're here to talk me out of it, you can save your breath."

"All right; are you starting to hate the Reavers more than you do Jack?"

"Why should I? They never had anything in particular against me. They just did what their instincts told them. But they can die. They need to."

"I suppose we can agree on that much." John served the portions of food. "Listen, it's been a while since I saw you… only a few weeks as far as your conscious memory is concerned, but about a year for me. I know we didn't part on good terms."

"So?"

"I think it will be impossible for us to agree about Jack, but that doesn't mean we can't get along."

Gray shrugged. "I don't see the point."

"Well, the way I see it, River is your only friend just now. But I'd like to be, too."

"What for?"

"I dunno, really. I guess if Jack puts so much value on you, I want to know the person underneath this… prickly exterior. When we first met, you worried me. I was afraid you'd lost your humanity. But then you came round a bit. You started to act like a worthwhile person. I want to see more of that person."

Gray picked at the food in front of him. After a minute or so of silence, he looked up at John. "Sleep by me tonight."

"Oh. I… yes, all right. As long as Jack doesn't mind."

"Screw Jack. Don't tell him. Just come."

John shook his head. "I can't do that. If he found out, he'd kill me. But I don't see why he should stop me. I'm sure he won't."

Gray didn't look satisfied, but he didn't answer.

* * *

><p>"From what I can tell, he's doing a lot better," John told Jack after he left Gray.<p>

"Yeah—the suicide risk is doing great," Jack said dryly. "Is he still set on going?"

"Immovably. But he asked me to sleep by him."

"He did?" Jack couldn't keep the surprise from his voice. "That could be a good sign… or a really bad one."

"I think it'll be all right. I won't have anything dangerous where he can get to it. Maybe he'll really listen to me. Or I might learn something that can help you."

Jack licked his lips. "I don't like it."

"I think it will be fine," John repeated. "But if you really think he's got some sort of plan, I'll pull out."

"I don't see how he could plan something on such short notice, but still…. By, not with, right?"

"Of course."

"Promise."

John looked a little insulted. He looked hard at Jack and then shook his head. "Why would I want to sleep with Gray when it's you I really want?"

"John...?" _You don't really mean that. Don't tell me you've still got a crush on me…_

"Come on, Jack. You know how many lovers I've had. You're the only one I keep coming back to."

"If you really had any fidelity you wouldn't have to 'come back' to anyone. You'd find one person and stick with them. So don't try to hand me any love stories—I'm not buying them."

"Don't act all high and mighty—you know you're just like me, deep down."

"I _was,_" Jack corrected. "I got better. I suppose your attempt to kill me was out of affection, too."

John looked away. "Look, I shouldn't have brought this up now. I'm sorry. I guess it's just that between you and the Master and Gray with his little friend, I'm feeling a bit like a spare wheel. I never dreamt I'd meet any of you here—it's a bit overwhelming."

_**You're**__ overwhelmed? You have no clue…_ "You're right. This isn't a good time." Jack sighed. He took John by the shoulder and gave him what he hoped was a reassuring look. "Sleep by my brother. Do what you can."

John nodded. He left Jack alone with his thoughts.

Jack's thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. _I still don't know how I should love the Doctor. Or the Master. Or Inara, for that matter. And now John comes out with this silly romantic idea… Why do I have to deal with all this?_

* * *

><p>"So, I suppose you're going to shut me in my room for the night," the Master said gloomily to Jack as they lay on the carpet in the astronomy room.<p>

"I don't know. I don't think that's really necessary."

"If you don't, the Doctor probably will. He's up and about again, and he probably won't want me for company."

"He'll probably need to sleep again tonight. If you don't make a nuisance of yourself, there's no reason to lock you up until we leave tomorrow night."

They fell silent for a while. Then the Master said, "The sky's changed a bit since we came in—have we been here long?"

"I don't know. At least half an hour, I guess." Jack turned onto his side and looked at the Master's dim form in the starlight. "If you want, I could stay with you tonight."

"A generous offer. But… I think I'd better take you in small, occasional doses at first."

"I meant just for companionship, not sex."

"Maybe that's all_ I_ meant," the Master replied snidely.

"We have a lot to talk about. And maybe if we're close without all the tension it will help things get more comfortable."

"Fancy becoming a psychiatrist?"

Jack smiled. "Well, they do get to lay people on couches, so…"

"You're dreadful. I accept. Your offer, I mean. You can stay with me."

* * *

><p>The Doctor poured over his book of plans, glasses in place, muttering occasionally. When someone knocked on his door, he tucked the book under his pillow.<p>

"Yes? Come in."

Jack stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "Just came to see how you were."

"Brilliant."

"What have you been doing?"

"Nothing. Just resting."

"Do you usually rest with your glasses on?"

The Doctor reached up and removed his glasses. "Forgot I had them on," he said honestly.

"I think John may be getting somewhere with Gray," Jack reported, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Gray asked John to sleep by him tonight."

"Did he? That's good, right?"

"I hope so. Maybe he's lonely."

"Do you think John might try to help Gray escape and take him away?"

"No. I'm sure he wouldn't do that."

"Well. Good. Excellent." _Am I babbling? He's going to get suspicious._

"Maybe tomorrow he can tell us something useful."

"Mm. I'm still a bit tired, so I'll probably sleep most of the night."

Jack smiled. "You're acting almost human."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, but then he returned the smile. "Do you—" he started.

"I'm going to—" Jack said at the same time.

"Go ahead," the Doctor said, almost relieved at being interrupted.

"I was going to say that the Master seems to be pretty cooperative lately. I'm going to sleep by him tonight."

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"I know; he could have some evil little plot going. But I don't think so. But I'll keep my guard up, just in case. If he starts to act… well, like his old self, I'll get out of there."

The Doctor nodded. "Hmm. All right. Be careful."

"What were you going to say?"

"Oh. I… I've forgotten now."

"I'm sorry."

"Quite all right. Wasn't important." The Doctor tried to look nonchalant.

"If you think of it, you can tell me later." Jack hugged his friend. "Good night, Doctor."

"Night, night." The Doctor gave him a last smile before he left the room. Then he retrieved his plan book and put his glasses back on. "I hate to redo the walls," he muttered to himself. "The stars have got to stay. Most of them, anyway. I need my books, but maybe a new bookcase. And the chairs…" He looked up at the two comfortable armchairs.

"_If this room is for your eyes only, why do you have two armchairs?"_

He sighed. _I'm glad I let Jack speak first. Otherwise, that would have been terribly awkward._

He went back to his book and sketched a new set of chairs. _Everyone else has got a bedfellow tonight…_

* * *

><p>John made sure he had left all his weapons behind before he entered Gray's room. He shouldn't have missed any when he changed into pajamas, but you just never know…<p>

Gray looked like he wanted to laugh at John.

"What?"

"Baby blue stripes don't really work for you. And are you planning to wear your vortex manipulator to bed?"

John crossed his arms indignantly. "Don't want it stolen, do I? And these are the most comfortable pyjams in the Doctor's entire wardrobe—which is saying something."

Gray pulled his shirt off and climbed into bed. John grimaced at the exposed scars covering Gray's body. He'd seen them before, of course—some when they were new. But he knew the nature of the people who had put them there and the pain and madness that Gray had suffered.

"You coming?"

John got into the bed beside him and touched the button that dimmed the lights.

"Tell me what you've been doing since I last saw you," Gray said.

"I stayed around 21st century Earth for a while. A few months. I kept thinking about those savages who kidnapped, you, though. Jack hadn't been able to find you because it hadn't occurred to him that they might be time travelers. Their society was too base and unintelligent to have discovered a means of time transport. But when I started researching history for similar raids, that was when I first got an inkling of where to find you. So afterwards, even though I'd got you back, I kept thinking that whatever they'd got, it needed to be taken away from them. It was obviously stolen in the first place."

"And that's what your mission is all about?"

"Yes. I can't let what happened to you keep happening to other people. The Reavers need to be contained here, in their own time."

"What if they're not here? What if they never came back?"

"They did," John said confidently. "I was able to track them, using equipment at the Time Agency. It's not completely accurate, of course, but the likelihood was very high that they returned to this time. It seems as if they come back here between raids. I think it is because it's familiar. There are more of their kind here, and the outer rim is scarcely protected by the Alliance. They know they are fairly safe."

"So, if you find that group of them and get the time travel device, they'll never go back to the 51st century—or anywhere else in time. They'll be stuck or dead."

"That's the idea."

Gray put an arm over John's flannel-clad body. "If we get to face them up close, you'll let me have a weapon, right? I want to kill them myself."

"I think that would be all right," John said. "I'll certainly let you fight if we need to defend ourselves." He moved his fingers over Gray's arm, feeling the depressions and raised scars in his skin. "If everything goes according to plan, what will you want to do after?"

"I want to go away somewhere quiet. Somewhere where I won't have to think about Reavers or Jack. But he won't let me go. He'll never let me go." Gray ran his hand down John's wrist and over the vortex manipulator.

John didn't worry. He had locked the wristband for the night so it couldn't be tampered with. "I don't know about that. I think if he knows that's what you really want, he may let you go. But he would have to hear it from you."

"How does this thing work?"

_Did he even hear what I just said?_ "It… well… there's no good way to explain without getting very technical. Even I don't completely understand it. It's like it reaches between layers of time and space and hauls you through…"

"This is the fourth dimensional control?"

John put his free hand over Gray's and got his bearings on the familiar feel of the instrument. "That's right."

"And this is the fifth?"

"Right again. I knew you were smart. You should have worked at the Time Agency. I think Jack's talents were wasted there." He smiled to himself.

"So if you wanted to go forward in time, but stay on Barcelona, you'd do something like…"

Gray moved his fingers around with John's resting on top, feeling the sequence.

"Yes, something like that. That would get you forty or fifty years."

"And if you wanted to move across the room but not change times…" Gray said, trying again.

John was surprised at Gray's aptitude for the manipulator. "Yes—only that'd take you a bit further than across the room. More like the other side of the planet."

Gray laughed. It sounded strange after all the grim and spiteful behavior John had witnessed from him. He patted Gray's arm and got a half-hug in return. They fell silent, and before long John heard Gray's deep, regular breathing.

_Poor kid. It must be exhausting to be so disagreeable all the time,_ John thought before he too fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"So, how are you feeling about this afternoon?" Jack asked, resting one hand lightly on the Master's chest. He tried not to do anything too arousing—though it was very tempting.<p>

"I don't know," the Master answered. "It was… strange. But somehow not as strange as I thought it would be."

"And did you like it?"

"I enjoyed my part very much. The rest will probably take a lot of getting used to."

"It's kind of an acquired taste," Jack agreed. "But once you know what you're doing, it can be great."

The Master put his hand over Jack's and stroked it with his thumb. "I have to admit, I had no idea it could be so… nice. And it didn't seem to make any difference that you were human. Though gaining a second heart has made you about ten times as attractive to me," he added.

"That much?" Jack smiled. "I'm glad to know it's what's inside that matters to you."

"It's always that way to Timelords. We find outward appearance attractive, but we recognize that if we're mortally wounded our appearance will change completely. You can't get attached to looks."

"I guess not. But tell me honestly: Is there some part of you that's disturbed by what we did?"

The Master didn't hesitate. "Absolutely."

"I thought so."

"But don't let it worry you."

"I won't."

"I think it'll pass."

"I'm sure it will."

There was a silence in which each was alone with his own thoughts. Then the Master tugged Jack toward him. They kissed deeply; then the Master pulled Jack's head down onto his shoulder.

Jack settled down contentedly, giving the Master's neck a kiss and squeezing his torso lightly. "Good night, Master."

"Sleep well, Jack." The Master stroked Jack's short hair and waited for his companion to fall asleep. He wasn't remotely tired himself. He had slept the night before, after all.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! Comments welcome. :)<br>_


	17. Mending Fences

_One important spoiler and a couple minor ones __ for the Doctor Who series __in this chapter._

_Some adult content-right about the time things get too steamy for you, skip to the next break and you should be fine. A summary shouldn't be necessary. ;)_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Seventeen: Mending Fences_  
><em>

* * *

><p>The Master realized he had managed to doze off when Jack stirred and brought him fully awake. He looked at the human curled against him and half-smiled, reaching over to run his hand through Jack's hair.<p>

"Good morning," Jack murmured. Then he stretched and opened his eyes. "Oh, it's you."

"I should hope so," the Master replied indignantly. "Forgot who you were in bed with?"

"You never know."

The Master rolled his eyes. "Well come on—let's get something to eat. I think our escapade yesterday has given me quite an appetite. Who were you dreaming about?"

"I think it was the Doctor at first. But then later I'm sure it was John. Which is quite a disappointment." Jack retrieved his shirt off the table and shrugged it on.

"In your dream, maybe," said the Master, choosing an outfit from the clothing rack he'd brought in from the Doctor's wardrobe. "But in reality, think about it: Timid Doctor, or John, who obviously has gone above and beyond all the usual requirements?"

Jack laughed. "Well, he does have the varied experience. But I was with him too long. I know all his tricks by now."

They found batter mix in a kitchen cupboard and proceeded to make pancakes—and a huge mess.

When John entered the kitchen, still in blue-striped pajamas, he paused in the doorway to stare. "Stay back, ye unclean lepers," he greeted them. "Or is that flour?"

"Pancake mix," Jack supplied.

"That would suggest that those near-black briquettes on the griddle are meant to be pancakes?"

"The first batch never comes out right," Jack snapped. "Besides, you were the wife—you had more practice at this sort of thing."

John rolled his eyes. "Did you put an egg in the mix?"

Jack glanced at the Master. The Master shook his head at Jack and smirked.

"Okay, I forgot. The box doesn't say you need eggs, anyway."

"I think the Doctor's got some time-locked in that icebox thingy," the Master said, pointing helpfully.

John fetched an egg and expertly cracked one into the mixing bowl, using just one hand and not breaking the yolk.

"Show-off," Jack muttered. He gave the bowl to the Master. "Here; stir."

"Where's the butter?" John asked. Spying it, he siphoned off a larch chunk and dropped it on the griddle where it bubbled and hissed. "If you mix it right and use enough butter, they'll hold together and not stick to your cooking surface."

"Thank you, Martha Stewart," the Master said brightly. "I can see you must have been a good wife for Jack."

"Oh, I _was,_" John assured him. "But cooking good pancakes is like giving a blow job. Once you've done it properly, you never forget how."

Jack's eye twitched. "Don't you mean it's like riding a bicycle?"

"Giving a blow job is like riding a bicycle? I wouldn't think so at all…"

The Master laughed loudly.

"So, how did things go last night?" Jack asked, sounding eager to change the subject.

"Pretty well, I think. He didn't say or do anything too creepy."

"Anything helpful?"

"Not much." John frowned in thought. "He said he wants to go off alone after this—somewhere quiet, he said. I don't know, but it might be the best thing for him."

Jack didn't answer. The Master licked batter off his fingers, content to observe for the time-being.

The Doctor turned up just as the first good-looking pancakes were finished.

"What have you lot done to my kitchen?" he asked in amazement.

"We made you breakfast," the Master said with a winning smile.

"We'll clean it up," Jack promised.

"I had nothing to do with it," said John.

"Well… all right… see that you do." The Doctor sat at the small table and watched in obvious nervousness while Jack and the Master cooked and served.

"Someone should take some to Gray," Jack said after a while. "He always liked pancakes a lot."

"I will," the Master offered instantly.

"You'll get in a fight with him," John accused.

"Will not. I actually thought I'd try to get on good terms with him, seeing as he'll be going with you."

Jack looked at John and the Master with suspicion. "Did you… get in a fight with Gray before?"

"Not a fight, really…"

"I think Gray throwing something at the door makes it a fight," said John.

"Nonsense—if he'd thrown it at me before I got out the door, _that_ would have made it a…" the Master caught Jack's dismayed look and left his sentence unfinished. "Look, it's not that bad. We had a few words, that's all. Let me set it right."

Jack put his hands to his temples as if he had a headache. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't mean to cause any trouble. It just sort of happened. Like I said, I'd like to fix it now."

"Can you do that and not make things worse?"

"Yes. I'm sure I can."

Jack sighed. "Okay. Give it a try."

The Master didn't waste any time. He loaded a plate of pancakes and a tall glass of milk onto a tray and took them to Gray's room.

"Room service," he called as he maneuvered the tray through the doorway.

"Why are you here?" Gray asked coldly. He was sitting against his headboard, knees pulled up.

The Master cast his eye over what he could see of Gray's arms and chest. He found the scars oddly attractive. Gray was thinner than Jack and not as muscular, but still well-built.

"Bringing you breakfast. I hear you like pancakes. Lemon juice and sugar?"

"Why the hell would I put that on them?" Gray got off the bed and came to the table, despite his ungrateful attitude. "Got any syrup?"

"Yes—maple syrup right here. If the Doctor's labeling system is accurate, it came from Vermont in 1908."

Gray unceremoniously dumped syrup over the pancakes and sat down to eat.

"Aren't you going to get dressed?"

Gray paused with a bite halfway to his mouth. "Am I bothering you?"

The Master smiled. "I don't get bothered."

"Too bad. You're bothering me."

"Look, about yesterday… maybe the things I said were true, but it wasn't my place to say them. Especially seeing as we'd just met."

Gray went on eating, showing no sign of hearing what the Master said.

"Maybe I was a bit unfair," the Master continued, not sure he meant what he was saying, but trying to reason it out as he went. "After all, you've lived for years in a society of people who made up the rules as they went along—something's bound to suffer in your understanding of ethics." _Oh, he looks ruffled. Better be careful…_ "The thing is you can finally start new. And there are a few people on this ship who'd like to help you."

"I don't want any help. I want to be left alone."

"All right; I can understand that. Just be careful… you may get your wish one day and not like it."

* * *

><p>Jack was a little worried when the Master refused to tell him anything before they got to the astronomy room, but it didn't last long.<p>

"Is Gray all right?"

"Yes, yes," the Master said impatiently. "He's far from liking me, but I don't think he wants to pummel me to death anymore."

"Okay. So, what's the problem?"

"It's you. Well, let's be fair—I suppose it's me."

"Oh, no. Don't tell me it's 'us,'" Jack lamented.

"No. I'm not breaking up with you, for heaven's sake. We've barely begun. It's just that you still don't trust me. Isn't that right?"

"I don't think I have enough reason to. If things keep going well I'll trust you more. It just takes time."

"Yes, but you're leaving tonight and I may not see you for a while. So, I was thinking: If I apologize to the Doctor, will that convince you?"

Jack frowned up at the starry ceiling. _Is this some kind of trick? What would he get out of it?_ "Maybe," he said slowly. "But it would have to be a pretty damn sincere apology."

"Of course. Naturally, I owe you one too, but I need to explain a bit or I don't think you'll believe me."

"Okay."

"Right, bear with me. All my life, since I was very young, I've liked power. It's like a drug to me. I love being in control—there's nothing like it. I never liked taking anyone into my confidence, because I could never be sure of anyone. It took away my security. Consequently, I never had any real friends like other children did. Never cared for anyone other than myself. It was safest that way."

"Didn't you care about your parents?"

"Mm, not really. They weren't my literal parents—more like cousins. Found them bothersome. They never let me do as I pleased. Plus they thought I was bonkers because I told them there was a knocking in my head and the healers couldn't find anything wrong. It's a dreadful thing not to be believed, especially when you're telling the truth to the people who are supposed to support you. I didn't see them much after that."

"Wow." Jack once again realized how grateful he should be for the support his parents had given him in his childhood.

"The Doctor and I were rivals, even then. We'd actually been friends for a while, but… things happened. I had the greater visionary promise, but he was good at nitty-gritty details. I had more teachers on my side, though. I was a budding hypnotist and all."

"God, I would hate to have been your school rival." Jack subtly found the Master's hand on the carpet and slipped his over it.

"Yes, you would." The Master chuckled. "Anyway, I was supposed to retrieve the Doctor after he left Gallifrey. Took me a long time to catch up to him. To keep from going on too long, I'll just say that he trapped me and skipped away again. It's been that way ever since. Everywhere I went, he was determined to undermine my plans. I've gone through as many regenerations as my lifestream could offer, and then I've had extras through tricks and technicalities and cheating…"

"There's a limited number?" _No one told me that! Which number is the Doctor on? How many does he have left?_

"Well, yes. Well… sort of. Usually. Thirteen. That's normal. But don't distract me, please…"

_One when I met him, and this one, but I know there were more before that… how many more?_ Jack was very unsettled. He struggled to bring his focus back to what the Master was saying.

"When I say power is like a drug, I mean that almost literally. I feel exhilarated and happy when I have it, and in absolute misery when it's taken away. And that's what the Doctor's done to me over and over: Thwarted my plans. Crushed them. Crushed me." The Master stroked Jack's hand with his fingertips as he spoke.

"All through that year when he was my prisoner, I felt higher than I'd been in so very long, but he still defied me by refusing to speak. I knew my control wouldn't be complete until I broke him. Torturing you didn't work—he knew you could take it, and you healed almost instantly. I knew I had to wait until his precious Martha was caught, so I bided my time.

"Finally, it seemed as if I held all the cards, but then he did it again. He took everything away. My power, my pretty little Toclafane… even my wife turned on me. And he said he forgave me. I didn't want forgiveness. That's no comfort. I wanted control.

"Except now I want something else. I've fought the Doctor so long, been conquered so often… I'm tired of it."

Jack squeezed the Master's hand and felt along his wrist to rub his forearm gently. He wondered if the Master had ever been this open with anyone before. Probably not, considering he hadn't loved his own parents.

"The lows are so crushing they're not worth the highs anymore, and like a real drug, power keeps getting more expensive. I'm worn out. I've determined that the only way to keep from being conquered by the Doctor is to either give up and do things his way, or operate on a much smaller scale—something small enough to escape his notice. But anything that small wouldn't be any fun—king of a tiny mountain or something. What good is that?

"And then there's you." The Master turned toward Jack and rested his hand in the middle of Jack's chest where he could feel both hearts. "Even you won't let me conquer you. You're so damned competitive. Everything's got to be on equal terms. But you know something?"

"What?"

"The further we go along, the more I've found I don't mind."

Jack smiled. _Finally, something positive._

"It doesn't make any sense," the Master went on, "but I've found it doesn't matter if you stand up to me. For some reason, it's attractive. And it's new. This competition that doesn't crush me, this never-ending struggle that makes me feel like I'm ahead when I'm losing ground. And somehow I feel… that this is sort of what the Doctor was trying to show me: That there are other ways of living that you can adjust to and find you like just as well. That you can care about someone and feel stronger for the risk you're taking. It's like nothing I've tried before. And God knows I'm ready for a change."

He flexed his fingers slightly, raising ridges in Jack's shirt and sending small happy impulses to his brain.

Jack inched closer and rested his head against the Master's shoulder.

"Watching you and Gray, I got a startling picture of my relationship to the Doctor," the Master said, moving his hand up and tucking his fingertips under the collar of Jack's shirt. "It's frustrated me no end that he offered me his help when I didn't want to change. But I think I understand the value of his offer now. I want to be free again, but I wouldn't mind sharing this Tardis with him now. To decide things together, pilot her together… It would have made me retch weeks ago, but now…"

The Master sighed. "Anyway, all that to say… Now I understand what I've been missing, I've got one bothersome side-effect: regret. I wish I'd seen all this sooner. And I wish I'd not been so cruel to the Doctor when I had the upper hand. And I wish I hadn't hurt you. So I'm telling you now." He paused and Jack heard him swallow. "I am sorry, Jack."

Jack pulled the Master over and held him firmly, kissing his neck and working his way up to his mouth.

"Thanks for forgiving me the other day," the Master murmured into Jack's mouth.

"You're welcome." Jack slid his hands under the Master's shirt. "I don't think it would hurt to let you 'conquer' me once in a while," he said, grinning. "Gotta take withdrawal slowly, after all."

The Master didn't miss the obvious invitation. He slipped his tongue into Jack's mouth as his dexterous hands began undressing him. "What do we do if the Doctor wanders in here?" he asked after a moment.

Jack shrugged. "Add it to your list of apologies to give him?" They laughed.

It had been a long time since Jack had played the submissive role. It definitely wasn't his preferred way of doing things, but this time he embraced it. He made sure not to get in the Master's way, but he gave him attention whenever possible, using his mouth and hands to stimulate his partner. He felt relief that he had taken to carrying condoms again—just in case. He would hate to interrupt things to go back to his room now.

The Master seemed to revel in his control, but he still handled Jack gently. "May I give you a very small bite?" he asked in Jack's ear.

Jack smiled. _He's actually being careful of me, remembering what I had trouble with before._ "Very small," he repeated. He felt the Master's teeth graze the skin of his neck and then his tongue licking the spot as it had before.

"Are you mine?"

_I'd have spit in his face during the year that never was. _"Yes."

The Master pressed his groin against Jack's and kissed his chest. "Am I yours?"

Jack smiled. "Yes."

"I won't hurt you," he promised. "Never again."

* * *

><p>"You've got that look," John accused.<p>

"Do you never stop eating?" Jack asked, observing the conspicuous pile of foil in front of John and the food cube in his hand.

"Food machine plus my curiosity equals a good time," John explained succinctly. "But this stuff's really filling. I won't want dinner. Now, don't avoid topic—you have that look again."

"What look?"

"The look that says you've had a really good shag and you're looking forward to more. You and the Master finally made it, didn't you?"

Jack eyed John. "I don't have a look like that."

"You so do."

"Seriously?"

"Oh, Jack. If anyone would recognize that look on your face, I would. I used to put it there."

"Hmm." _That's a little awkward._ "Well, not that it's your business, but we've been very intimate since yesterday."

"Knew it. Wait… yesterday? Must not have been paying attention then. That or today's was much better." John smiled knowingly.

"Shove it."

* * *

><p>The Doctor gasped as the pile of books fell from his hands. He'd forgotten he was holding them. "S—sorry," he said, scrambling to pick them up. <em>Why am I apologizing? They're my books.<em>

He couldn't believe what the Master had just told him. Somehow he had thought that they would always be fighting, that nothing he said or did would ever sink in. But here the Master was, explaining the drive behind his bitterness and actually admitting that the Doctor may have been right all along.

Adding to the Doctor's shock, the Master stooped to help him pick up the books. Silently, he handed them over. The Doctor set them on the table and stood fidgeting beside it, feeling lost.

"I didn't want your forgiveness then," the Master said, "but if you've any left, I'll take it now. I am sorry."

If he'd still been holding them, the Doctor was sure he would have dropped the books all over again. _This can't be an act. I don't think… no, it can't be. He would never stoop this low. Never. _"Yes… yes, of course," he stammered.

"I understand it'll take time. I can't expect you to completely trust me right away. But for the first time, I'm interested in earning it."

"Er… yes. Good. Brilliant. Um… I'm sorry; this is a bit much for me."

The Master smiled. "All right. I'll leave you alone. There's just one other thing I'd like to get settled, though. It's Jack. We're… we're becoming…" he frowned. "Well, we might be in love soon, if we're not careful. And I just want to be sure that won't cause any problems."

_Jack. The one thing I hate risking. The one way you could really hurt me._ "No… no problems, as long as you remember what I've told you. If you hurt him…"

"I understand. I swear I'll be good to him."

"All right, then." _Damn you. How can I object to anything that makes Jack happy?_

* * *

><p><em>Well, there's a day in the life of the Master. :p He's come a long way in a few days-his Torturers Anonymous group would give him a round of applause. *smirk*<br>_


	18. The Beginning

_Took a little longer this time-real life. Sorry about the minor cliff-hanger at the end; I had to break it up somewhere._

_Some Torchwood spoiling here, but no major mature content._

_NOTE: Since we don't know what Jack's and Grey's real last name is, when I needed it I denoted it with hyphens around Jack's first name: -Jack- Hope that's not too confusing._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Eighteen: The Beginning**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"I wish you didn't have to go," the Master told Jack as the latter gathered his various weapons for the mission.<p>

"Sorry," Jack answered. "Gray still insists on going, and there's no way he's going without me."

"I know. I'd almost go with you, but I don't expect you and the Doctor to trust me that much."

Jack paused in his packing to remove his wrist strap. "Here—I'll leave this with you. I'll use John's to contact you once in a while and let you know what's going on."

"Aren't you afraid I'll use it to escape?"

"The Doctor disabled it a while back. I haven't really needed it since then, so he never fixed it."

"I bet I could fix it."

"I tried. I think he built some kind of code into it. Just the same—don't try to fix it, okay?"

"I'll try to resist the temptation. But if you take forever and go a long time without contact, I'm going to get bored."

In the hall, the Master bid Gray good luck (to which he responded with a stiff nod) and turned to John. "Good luck to you, too, Captain. Give them hell."

"I shall," John replied. He leaned in and kissed the Master's cheek.

The Master scowled, but he let it pass.

The Doctor approached the Master next. "You can go anywhere in the Tardis except my room and the control room," he said. "If you try to enter either of those, you'll get a rather severe electric shock, so please don't."

"All right." The Master smiled. "Keep an eye on Jack."

"I will."

"And look after yourself, Theta Sigma."

The Doctor looked away.

"I'm not meaning to insult you," the Master said quickly.

"I… didn't think so. It's just… so long ago." The Doctor's eyes settled on the Master again and he gave him a small smile. "We have a lot to talk about, Koschei. I'm sorry we haven't time now."

"It'll keep until you get back." The Master held out his hand.

The Doctor took the offered hand and held it a moment. Then he suddenly pulled the Master into a hug. "I've missed you," he said softly. "How did all this happen?"

"Bad timing, I suppose?" the Master suggested, looking a little unsettled. "Luck?"

"No doubt." The Doctor sighed and moved to arm's length from the Master. "Promise you'll be here when I get back."

"I will. Word of honor—whatever that counts for."

The Doctor nodded. He moved away to let Jack have a more private parting with the Master.

Jack felt a little confused. When the Master hugged him, he said quietly, "I didn't think you two were close. You said you didn't have any real friends…"

"Well… it's complicated. Basically I lied to keep things simple. Can't talk about it now, though—there isn't time." The Master kissed Jack firmly. "Keep the Doctor safe."

"I will. Try not to do anything destructive while we're gone." There was an 'I love you' on the tip of Jack's tongue, but he kept it behind his teeth. It was too early for that. Besides, Timelords preferred showing to telling. "Goodbye."

* * *

><p>"Hullo," John murmured, "you never mentioned that one."<p>

Jack followed John's gaze and saw Inara standing on the deck of the _Serenity._ "Yeah… there's a good reason for that."

"What, finders keepers? You've got the Master. Introduce me."

"No way. She's a licensed companion. You can't afford her."

"I've got money for the mission."

"Exactly. _For the mission._"

"So long, Doctor," Kaylee said with a smile. "We'll keep track of the Master for you."

"Thanks." The Doctor accepted Kaylee's hug and then got one from River.

"Gray thinks he's ready for this," River whispered in his ear. "But he's not."

The Doctor frowned worriedly. "Thanks for the heads-up. I'll look after him."

River let go and gave him a smile before going on to Gray.

Jack slyly worked his way away from the others and climbed up to join Inara. "Are you worried?" he asked her.

"A little. I know Mal, Jayne and Zoe are good soldiers and Wash is a good pilot… but I also know how horrible the Reavers are. I hope you don't have to face them up close."

Jack took her hand. "We'll be all right. As long as we've all got someone to come home to, nothing will stop us."

She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Stay safe, Captain." She kissed him lightly and walked away without another word.

When he got back to the others, Jack knew John had witnessed the kiss. He smiled smugly. John rolled his eyes.

"If only I'd come to town a few weeks ahead of you," John groused. "They'd all be eating out of _my _hand."

"Sore loser." He looked around in time to see Gray kissing River. _Hmm. Maybe there is a little more to it than friends…_ He narrowed his eyes, trying to guess at the pressure involved, and whether both pairs of lips were firmly closed. Her hands were on his arms, his were on her back. _Inconclusive evidence,_ he decided.

"Jack? You're staring."

"I can't help it. He's my kid brother."

"I'm so glad I don't have siblings."

* * *

><p>Dozens of rugged men signed on for the mission, despite the sober warnings and frightening rumors that had circulated since its proposal. Even a couple of tough-looking women joined them, much to Jack's and John's delight.<p>

"What is wrong with you two?" the Doctor whined.

"Nothing; we just like variety," John said, winking at one of the women across the room.

The Doctor put his head in his hands. "How long will it take to get to the outer rim?"

"A few days."

"This is going to be a painfully long trip."

"You can all come in my ship," John told the Doctor's group. "And I'd love to have Mal and Jayne with me, too—I suppose that means Wash and Zoe will want to join us?"

"If that's all right," Wash agreed.

"Certainly. That's good—that gives me a good pilot and a decent crew. Now I'll have to divide everyone else into groups relative to the size of the ships and we can be on our way."

Jack looked from Mal to John. He leaned over and said quietly to the Doctor, "This'll be interesting—three captains on one ship."

"I don't even want to think about it," the Doctor muttered.

Gray kept his arms crossed to hide the electric handcuff that kept him close to the Doctor. Once they were on the ship, the Doctor had promised to remove it. He tried to keep space between himself and Jack, but the room was crowded. Finally, he resorted to icily pretending Jack wasn't there, seeming not to notice when they were closer or farther away.

"So, Mal," Jack said casually, "My greatcoat likes your trench coat. I think we should give them the chance to hang out sometime."

Mal frowned. "What?"

Wash stifled a laughing fit.

"He's asking you out," Zoe interpreted.

Mal's eyes widened. "What gives you the idea I'd be even passing interested?"

"Oh, nothing," Jack said reassuringly. "Just wishful thinking on my part, I guess. Be sure to let me know if you change your mind."

The Doctor turned a reproachful look on Jack. "Aren't you supposed to be working on your relationship with the Master?"

"I didn't realize you were Christians," said Wash.

At that, Jack lost all control. He sank to his knees and laughed until his eyes watered. Gray chuckled before he could stop himself, and even the Doctor couldn't keep from smiling.

"What's his problem?" Mal asked, sounding irritated.

"The Master is the name of the friend we left on the Tardis," the Doctor explained.

"You all have some all-fired strange names," said Jayne.

Everyone quieted down and stared at Jayne.

"What?"

* * *

><p>Finally, everyone was divided into their parties on the six ships. John instructed Wash in leading the formation in his ship, the <em>Javelin.<em>

"This is a pretty sweet little rig," Jack commented. "Did you steal her?"

"No," John answered darkly. "Bought and paid for."

"With whose money?"

John stepped away from Wash. "The Time Agency's, naturally."

"I thought you said they were defunct."

"They are. But when I decided I wanted to do this, I knew I couldn't do it on my own. So I showed up at a time when the TA was still going strong."

Jack was surprised—and a little impressed. "Didn't they notice your double check-in?"

"Nope—there wasn't a double check-in. Remember that day when I was a bit late? Everyone figured I'd gone off on a drinking/sexing/whatever binge, and then I showed up like nothing had happened."

"Oh, yeah. You seemed kind of off, but I couldn't tell what it was."

"That's the one. What was off was that I was a couple years older. I had them keep the mission secret from you. I told them it was a conflict of interest. Which is sort of true, but here you are anyway."

"So, the you that belonged there…"

"…Was on a drinking/sexing/whatever binge," John admitted.

"I knew it. It all makes sense now. Did you think it was weird that you didn't get yelled at the next day?"

John assumed a crooked smile. "I got yelled at every day, and on that occasion I had such a wretched hangover that my performance was rather below par. So I didn't think much of it. Anyway… as the captain, I've got a private room on board. I was wondering—would you sleep by me tonight?"

_Oh. That felt like a load of bricks. Damn._ "I don't know…"

"Please, just hear me out."

Jack looked John over, as if he could see physical evidence of an ulterior motive somewhere on his person. "I really don't want to go there."

"Don't make me beg you," John griped. "I'll sooner use dirty tactics, and that would just make things a big mess."

_He means making me feel guilty because he found Gray._ It was a very low suggestion, but Jack knew he couldn't afford to call John's bluff. "Fine," he said. "You'd better know what you're doing."

* * *

><p>"Wash has got her steady on auto-pilot," John told Jack. "Now we just have to wait until we're close and then I'll scan for alien tech."<p>

Jack nodded, not feeling like making chit-chat. He had decided to leave his shirt on, despite his preference for the freedom and comfort of bed sheets against his skin.

John had no apparent qualms about stripping down to his shorts. Jack didn't like it, but he kept quiet.

_It's John. What's he gonna do?_

They settled in the bed and the silence became uncomfortable.

"Well?" Jack prompted. He was liking his situation less and less.

"Where to begin… I suppose it all comes down to those two weeks. Those five years."

_How did I guess? Why can't he leave it alone?_ But as John began, leading into his explanations like the narrator of a play, Jack found his mind time traveling—back to their years together in the Time Agency.

* * *

><p>"Here are your orders. -Jack- is in charge."<p>

John stared at the envelope without really seeing it. "Sorry—Jack was in charge last time."

The commander looked up from his desk with an irritable expression. "Excuse me, I didn't hear you. It sounded like you said, 'Yes, sir.'"

"Yes, sir," John answered resignedly. He left the office and tore open the envelope. _They've always let us alternate before; Jack leads one, then I lead one. No, actually I used to lead more. What's happening? I know I'm not losing my edge… he must just be sleeping with the right people, damn him. I'll spread a rumor he's straight. That'll fix him._

He unfolded the orders sheet and looked it over.

_Location: Gardine. June 12-26, 3220: meddling time traveler known only as the Cloak must be taken into custody before he steals the Verastigen Crystal on the 27__th__. Report promptly after two weeks in two days._

John shoved the orders back into the envelope and went to find Jack. _If this keeps up, I won't want to work with him anymore… he's becoming insufferable as it is._

Jack was at the TA bar, talking with friends. He had always been popular—not many Time Agents had gotten their start singing, acting and modeling as Jack had. All the girls wanted to have his children, and all the guys hoped he didn't want any.

_I'm going to be ill. _John swallowed and approached the too-cheerful group. "New orders, Jack."

Jack tossed back the last of his drink and got to his feet, careful not to knock down any of the people hanging over him. "Excuse me," he said with a sad smile. "I never get a moment's peace around here…"

John rolled his eyes and pulled Jack away. He handed him the envelope. "Far past. Gardine. Not bad," he said.

"Hm, not bad at all," Jack agreed.

"I'm running point," said John. He held his breath.

"Kay. When do we leave?"

"Sooner the better," he answered, relieved that his lie had gone undetected. "Can you be ready by tonight?"

"Sure. Let me just say goodbye to these pathetic fans of mine…"

John smiled a little. It was good to be reminded that some of Jack's attention-seeking was an act.

* * *

><p>"You lied to me?"<p>

"I always lied to you. They should have sent me to rehab for _that."_

"Let me restate that—you lied when you said you were in charge? The whole thing might have turned out differently…"

"Not much—you ended up taking charge anyway," John snapped.

"Whatever. Keep going."

* * *

><p>They had caught only glimpses of their quarry. The crystal was safe for the now, but time was running out. The almost-vacation in Gardine's pleasant climate had become nightmarish.<p>

"I still can't imagine what he's using to time-travel," John said, reading his vortex manipulator's indicators. "It's definitely not a VM, so he's not a rogue Time Agent."

"Who cares who he is?" said Jack. "I'm ready to just pound the daylights out of him when we find him. What's he planning to do with the crystal that's so terrible anyway?"

John shrugged. They were often left in the dark about the whys of their missions.

It was a close shave, but they at last took "the Cloak" prisoner. The man did indeed wear long robes and a black cloak.

"You think you've got me," the Cloak said, grinning whimsically. "But you'll soon learn different. I've always got a plan to fall back on. Always."

John ignored him. He felt he had done fairly well on this mission. He might even get a promotion for taking charge when things got sticky—never mind that he'd been acting leader from the beginning.

They put the Cloak in a holding cell and went to make their report. John left Jack waiting outside while he went into the office.

"Hart, checking in," John said, thinking over how he would describe his good work.

"I have a new mission for you and your partner," the commander said immediately. "Here are your orders. -Jack- is in charge."

John bit his tongue. _Another mission? We just got back._ So much for all the grand rewards he'd hoped for. "Yes, sir." He left the office and tore open the envelope.

"What did he say?" Jack asked.

"New mission."

"Already?"

"Yes…"

_Location: Gardine. June 12-26, 3220: meddling time traveler known only as the Cloak must be taken into custody before he steals the Verastigen Crystal on the 27__th__. Report promptly after two weeks in two days._

"What the hell…?"

Jack took the orders sheet and glanced over it. "It's the same mission. Old man must finally have lost it—he gave us the wrong sheet. You want to tell him, or should I?"

"Oh, I will." John returned to the commander's desk.

"Is anything wrong, Hart?"

"I'm afraid you've given me the wrong mission, sir. This is the one -Jack- and I just completed."

The commander took the sheet and looked it over. "This is the right mission—are you sure you came back at the right point? You must have under-jumped. Fix it."

"Right. Sorry." John left the office again.

"Well?"

John shook his head. "He says we under-jumped. We're back before the mission started."

"But I know we…" Jack checked his VM. "This doesn't make any sense. I guess we'll have to go get that blasted Cloak and dagger guy and jump him ahead with us. Dammit."

But when they got to the holding cells, the Cloak was nowhere to be found.

"Could he have escaped?" John asked.

Jack shook his head. "We must have somehow jumped the two days back after we put him in. Let's try jumping ahead."

But it was no good—there was no trace of the prisoner two days later either—or a week later.

"This is really bad," said Jack.

John nodded. "Unless we do some damn good rewriting, we won't ever catch him."

"Okay, let's go back to where we _know_ we had him."

"Gardine, end of the mission?"

"Right."

But when they landed in Gardine, they found it was June 12th, and after that their wrist straps refused to take them anywhere else.

"He's got us trapped somehow between here and the Time Agency…"

"And in a specific timeframe." John tried to puzzle out how the Cloak could have tampered with their equipment.

They spent the next two days carefully retracing their steps, but they never encountered their previous selves. It was as if a section had been removed from their timeline.

"We're really starting over," Jack concluded. "He actually sent us back. We're rewriting without writing over."

"But how could he do that?"

"No idea. But I think he's much more powerful than we first gave him credit for."

And so it went on. They followed their orders, even using their knowledge of how they had captured the Cloak before, but the result was the same: At the end of the mission they went to the commander only to receive the same mission over again.

"Maybe they can help get us out of this," John suggested. "If we just tell our superiors what's going on…"

"They'll say we really screwed this up."

"Well yes, but they'll try to help, too."

But nothing worked. The other Time Agents did their best, but the moment Jack or John tried to use his vortex manipulator, he ended up back in Gardine.

"This is the fifth time we've started this mission over," John said at last. "What if we never get out?"

Jack looked around. "Well… of all the places to get stuck…"

"Yes, it's lovely, but I'm stuck with _you."_

"I'm not that bad."

"I heard you were straight," John said mischievously.

"What? Who said so?"

"Oh, lots of people."

"I just prefer girls because they're smarter."

John grinned. "So it's true! Wait… who cares if they're smart?"

"Because they're always offering to do my paperwork if I let them sleep with me. I want them smart so it gets done right."

John was appalled. "Lord, is that how you got top marks in the training academy?"

"I would have anyway. I know all that stuff… and I proofread all my papers myself."

"Really? Then get us out of here, genius."

But time went on. And on. And around.

Finally, John snapped. On finding himself back in Gardine once again, he brought out his pistols and proceeded to shoot up the town, wounding and killing several innocent people.

"John, stop! What the hell are you doing?" Jack shouted at him. "Look what you've done!"

"They'll be back to normal in two weeks," said John. "What's the difference?"

Jack grabbed him and dragged him into the nearest building. He pinned him against the wall. "That's not how it works. We don't know what's going to happen."

"It's been four bloody months, Jack! We're never getting out of this."

"Are you giving up?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm not." Jack kissed John ferociously. He couldn't help it. He'd seen John in action before, but this manic violence was new. The smell of the hot smoking guns and the dangerous wild look in John's eyes turned him on in a new way.

John dropped the guns and returned the kiss, moving his hands over Jack's body, through his hair, down his neck.

They finally broke apart, breathless. "Come on," Jack panted. "Let's clean up the mess you made."

* * *

><p>"You did kiss me first," John reminded him.<p>

"Had to. You were accusing me of being straight."

"Oh, and that's the only reason you did it?"

Jack ran his hand down John's arm and remained silent.

John smiled. He caught Jack's hand and held it loosely. "Things sort of went better after that," he went on. "We couldn't get out of the bloody time loop, but still…"

* * *

><p><em>Again, sorry for stopping in a bad place. Thanks to my beta for helping me put together Jack's and John's past. We don't know most of the details, and it's a little daunting trying to figure out how the time loop might have worked. :p<br>_


	19. Bonding

_This chapter is almost entirely flashback, so bear with me. We shall get back to the present (that being a relative term, of course, since this is a time travel story) before long._

_Some mature content in this one-a couple offensive words and "some sensuality" as the movie raters say. By now the faint of heart should have given up on this story, but if you get squeamish, just skim and you should be okay._

_A/N: Yes, the chapter title is cheesy. It's supposed to be. :p  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Eighteen: Bonding_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"You realize you just made it so we can't even try to get out of the time loop this time around?" Jack asked John sternly. "We have to fail the mission on purpose to make sure those people will be alive in two weeks."<p>

"Not like we were close to solving it anyway. Look on the bright side—now we can have the vacation we wanted."

"You killed people, John. Somehow, I'm not seeing the bright side. Your so-called vacation will be spent eluding the police."

"At least it will be different this time. Sounds like fun."

"Do you understand what you're saying?"

John frowned in thought. "Does it sound like I'm saying that murdering innocent people to start a real-life game of manhunt sounds like a jolly-good time? Because that's exactly what I'm saying."

"I'm starting to worry about you."

"And I didn't think you cared! Well, high time we started sleeping together, don't you think?"

"How do you figure?"

"We already sound like an old married couple, and we're the only two people who remember the two weeks as we relive them over and over…"

"That's exactly why we should be bedding the townspeople and not each other," Jack said testily. "They will blissfully forget every two weeks. We, on the other hand, will have to live with it forever."

"You _are_ straight, aren't you?"

"No! …dammit."

John grinned. "So, prove it."

"Fine. I'll find the chief of police and sleep with him in return for not stringing you up."

"Is that how you've gotten to lead more missions lately? Been sleeping with the commander?"

Jack's arm twitched and his hand tightened into a fist. But slowly he relaxed again.

"Oh, go on, hit me," John encouraged him. "I could do with a good fight."

"You just shot up the town. Aren't you satisfied?"

"Never."

Jack shook his head and moved to walk past John. Suddenly, he turned back and gave John a neat left cross to the jaw.

John fell back against the wall. He rubbed his chin and laughed. "That's more like it."

* * *

><p>At last, very tired from fighting and leading the local police on a wild goose chase, Jack and John took refuge in a small B&amp;B a few miles outside town. The rent was cheap. The price of silence was high.<p>

"That's almost all of our honorarium gone," Jack reported. "We can only afford one room if we want to have anything left to buy food."

"Suits me—one bed?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm not sleeping with you."

"Why not?" John asked that night, as they lay side-by-side in the single bed, facing away from each other.

"Leave me alone."

"I thought the poster boy loved attention."

"Not that kind."

"Is it me, then? I know you don't like me, but I'm not really asking you to like me…"

"John? Shut up."

_What a spoilt brat!_ "All right, forget it. But listen: Just because you're the child star who's had everything handed to you on a silver platter since you were tiny doesn't mean you're better than everyone around you. You always assume you're right and trample anyone who gets in your way. I've had it. I won't cater to you."

For a while, all John could hear was his partner's heavy breathing. Then Jack spoke in a low, strained voice.

"I may have signed on with the TA as part of an ad campaign, but I became an agent by my own merit. Do you think I faked the physical exam and the stress tests and the fitness training? Do you think I've never lost anything important to me? God, John—have you ever once heard me talk about my family?"

John felt uneasy. He hadn't expected this sort of rebuttal. "I… I know you go to see your family now and again…"

"I go to see my mother. She's the only one left. Do you have family?"

"I never knew mine."

"That's too bad… but maybe you're better off. My father and brother…" Jack broke off.

_Shit. _John felt very guilty now. He rolled over and gingerly reached out to rest his hand on Jack's side. "Jack… I'm sorry."

"Please, just…"

"It's all right. Tell me about them. I'll listen." John waited. _Lord, I haven't felt so sorry for someone in… well, ever, really. Does that make me the selfish one? Damn. Yes. Oh, well._

He waited. Jack seemed unable to decide whether or not John's offer was sincere. John moved his fingers just slightly, rubbing Jack's side without being intrusive.

"There was a raid in my village," Jack said quietly. "People we'd never seen before… or since. No one knew where they came from…"

By the time Jack got through his story, even leaving out the most difficult parts, he was a mess in John's arms. "I've never told anyone," he whispered. "No one except my shrink."

"What do they know?" said John, pulling Jack close and rubbing his back. "They read a bunch of books and think they know how to fix everyone, but they've never had this kind of shit thrown at them."

Jack rested his head on John's chest and sighed. "How's your chin?"

"Doesn't hurt as much as my knuckles," John said with a small smile. "How are your ribs?"

"Okay. I'll probably feel it worse in the morning."

"Yeah." He ran his fingers over Jack, searching for the wounds he had inflicted earlier. "Listen, I'm not being a git now; I just want to know. Have you ever done another bloke?"

After a moment Jack admitted, "Not penetrative."

Finding a cut on Jack's brow, John leaned down and licked it gently. "Do you want it to stay that way?"

"I don't know. It's not that I'm scared of it or anything. I just… I guess I feel like I'd really want to trust the person. And I don't trust anyone."

_Ah, to be innocent,_ John thought. But he held back all the snide comments he wanted to make. "Well… I don't know how long we'll have to keep going through these two weeks. But if you get to see the worst of me, maybe you'll feel you can trust me."

"That's not very good logic, but for some reason, it makes sense."

* * *

><p>"Can we please blow something up?" John asked near the end of the two weeks. "You said yourself we had to fail this time on purpose—what's the harm in a little explosion? It'll be fine when we get back."<p>

Jack looked torn and John felt smug to think that he was even considering the idea.

"How little?"

"Small. Tiny. Little boom, that's all."

"I love your units of measurement."

"You haven't _seen_ my units of measurement!" John boasted, mind in the gutter.

"Could you make sure no one got hurt?" Jack asked, ignoring his statement.

"Course I could. I'm a professional."

"Where are you planning to get the explosives?"

"Let me worry about that."

In the end, Jack reluctantly stood aside and let John lay his plans. It was near sunset when they met up on the edge of town.

"When will it go off?" Jack asked.

"In a minute or two."

"You're sure no one will get hurt?"

"I pulled the fire alarm in every building nearby—if there's anyone near it, it's their own stupid fault."

"I thought you said it was going to be little." Jack waited. "John?"

It was then that the first glow erupted from the center of town, and a moment later the blast reached their ears. They watched—Jack in horror and John in glee—as one fiery cloud after another billowed up over Gardine.

"Holy shit," Jack exclaimed. "What the hell—you son of a—"

"It'll all be back to normal when we get back," John reminded him.

Jack grabbed him by the collar. "You said it would be small, you liar."

"If I'd told you the truth, you'd have tried to stop me."

Jack wrestled John to the ground. John kissed him. Jack back-handed him and then kissed him back.

_Oh, yes,_ John thought happily. _Time to separate the men from the boys._ He rapidly unfastened Jack's buttons and slipped his hand into his shirt as he worked his tongue into Jack's mouth.

Jack responded by taking him by the hair and pinning John's legs with his own. "You're insane," he said before licking John's ear.

John shivered. "You know you like it." He pulled Jack down on top of him and worked his hips.

Jack gasped at the contact.

"Come on, big boy," John purred. "Show me what you've got."

* * *

><p>John looked back on it as a very satisfying encounter, even though they technically hadn't gone all the way. Getting about four-fifths of the way there in the wake of a giant explosion was very sexy.<p>

"This time," Jack said firmly when they returned two weeks earlier, "we're doing things my way. No more BS from you."

"I'll be like a saint," John assured him. "Will you sleep with me tonight?"

"Some saint," Jack snorted. He looked around the peaceful town. "What haven't we tried yet?"

"Doggy style," John answered immediately.

Jack punched him in the stomach, hard.

"Ohhh… okay," John groaned. "I had that coming. Mm."

"There's got to be some way out of this," Jack went on. "Maybe the key is at the beginning, not the end."

But the day went by and they found no helpful new information.

"We did our best," John said. "Let's not worry about it anymore now." He took Jack's hand. "Listen, while we're 'doing things your way,' I'm willing to let that carry over in bed." He waited warily, ready to duck if Jack tried to hit him again.

Jack looked him over. "Are you sure you can do that? You've lied to me before."

"Not about sex," John said defensively.

"Oh, hurray. One honest area."

"It's a good one for honesty, especially if you've only got one."

"You seriously need help."

"You're dodging the question."

Jack put his hands on John's shoulders and looked seriously at him. "Did you bring protection?"

"God, you're old-fashioned."

"I don't know how many thousand partners you've had lately—you could be carrying anything."

"You're so straight."

"I am not!" Jack took him roughly by the neck and gave him a dominating kiss that would have made any Frenchman proud.

"I've got protection," John said when they broke apart. "Haven't you? It's in the training manual, for god's sake."

"Yes. I was just checking."

* * *

><p>Jack wasn't as shy as John expected him to be. He wasted no time when they got to their room. "So, since I get to take you," he said in a business-like tone as he relieved John of his jacket, "would you like a blow job first?"<p>

"Oh, I'd love one," John answered, as if Jack had just offered him a cold drink. "Got much experience?"

"You won't be disappointed. I had this boyfriend at the academy…"

John kissed Jack, effectively silencing him. Then he grinned and sang, "Some people like to talk, but I'm into doing what I feel like doing when I'm inspired…"

Jack laughed and pulled his shirt off. Then he opened John's fly and guided him back to sit on the bed. "So, if we take a walk down the beach tonight," he continued in his professionally trained singing voice, "I bet that we could light up the sky…"

* * *

><p>"You were better than I expected," John remembered, putting his hand on Jack's shoulder and stroking it lightly.<p>

"You thought I was straight," Jack scoffed.

"I didn't really. I just liked to get you angry. It was hot."

"Well, you must have found me hot most of the time, then. You made me angry often enough in those five years."

"Oh, I did," John assured him. "I always appreciated it."

* * *

><p>A year went by. Or was it two?<p>

"Room service," a young voice called.

"Come in," John answered, before Jack could protest.

Jack quickly pulled the sheets up for better coverage—for the sake of the server, not himself.

"Oh," the young blond man said, averting his eyes. "Should I wait?"

"No, come on in," Jack said. "We're definitely ready to eat."

"We should order extra next time and invite you to join us," John told him with a smile.

"I've got things to do, I'm afraid," the young man said, smiling slightly as he moved the tenants' breakfast from his cart to the table. "But… I'm free tonight."

Jack glanced at John.

"Stop by after dinner," John invited. "We'll be here by eight or so. Mind you, if you're late we'll start the party without you."

The server's smile grew. "I'll be here," he said, keeping his eyes on his cart.

When the door closed, John got up and looked the food over appreciatively. "Mm, this is nice. Come on, lazy—let's eat."

"He's too young," Jack scolded. "He's one of the usual bellhops here."

"Nonsense. He's old enough. Looked almost as old as you."

"He looks nineteen."

"That's almost as old as you. He obviously knows what he's getting into."

"Looked pretty shy to me."

"That's just Gardine for you—it's polite not to look at people you're serving. He'll be fine."

Jack sighed. "Well, we'll have to stay somewhere else next time."

"Why?"

"Because it would be too weird to have this kid bringing us meals and stuff without remembering what happened…"

"He won't remember it because for him it won't have happened."

"But for us it will have," Jack persisted. "I just won't be able to look at him the same. It's not fair to him. We'll have to move."

"You're the boss."

After another fruitless day of trying to foil the Cloak, John and Jack returned to their hotel room. To their surprise, the bellhop was already there, waiting for them in the hall.

"So glad you could make it," John greeted him warmly.

Jack smiled in spite of his misgivings. "What's your name?" he asked. They had learned the young man's name weeks ago, but this being a different run-through, he wouldn't remember that.

"It's Blake."

"I'm Jack and this is John." Jack opened the door to their suite and led the way inside.

"Great, that won't be confusing," Blake said sarcastically.

"Oh, don't worry," John reassured him. "If you shout my name when you're shagging him, we'll completely understand. Even I do it sometimes."

"Narcissist," Jack grumbled.

As it turned out, their young friend was no beginner, so Jack relaxed a bit. But it was his first all-male threesome (and Jack's, too), so tension remained high at first. It was easy to explain away the intoxicating pheromones and natural lubricant as common on their "home planet." Most people in Gardine didn't have extensive knowledge of life beyond their own galaxy, and Blake accepted their explanations without question.

John woke early to a warm kiss from the new friend lying in his arms.

"I need to leave soon if I don't want to be late for work," Blake told him quietly. "This was really nice. Thank you."

John stroked Blake's face and smiled. "We loved having you," he said mischievously.

Blake grinned. "We should do it again sometime."

"Yes, we should."

But the two weeks would be over again in two days. John doubted they would make another tryst before then. _Damn—I wish I could keep this one._

"Tell Jack thanks for me," Blake whispered before he let himself out a few minutes later.

John nodded and smiled. Then he looked over at Jack, who was still sleeping peacefully. _All worn out. Poor baby. I should dump ice water on him. I think I will._

* * *

><p>"You really did wrong by that kid," Jack accused. "I know you kept sneaking back to him."<p>

"How did I do him wrong? I gave him a good time and I didn't hurt him. We were good friends."

"Sure, except that each fortnight you met him over again, knowing more than you did the time before, taking advantage of what you knew about him to win his confidence…"

"If I'd thought he was anything but happy, it would have stopped," John said defensively. "I really liked him."

"So why didn't you go back to him?"

"Because I wanted you. And I tended to end up hurting people I used to try to replace you."

Jack didn't feel like opening any new cans of worms just then. He kept silent and waited for John to continue relating what he felt were the key points of the issue.

* * *

><p>"This is the hundred-fifth time," John said grimly. "We've been doing this mission for four years, Jack."<p>

"Be fair—half of that time we haven't had our minds on business. Hell, three-quarters."

"True enough." John put his arms around Jack from behind and kissed his neck. "I guess of all the times and places and people, this is a pretty good combination to get stuck with."

"We're not going to stop trying," Jack told him firmly; he put his hand over John's and rubbed it.

_He's so much more receptive now. This is nice. My little Ivy League boy is quite grown up…_ John moved one hand down Jack's ribcage and over his hip.

"John…"

His hand kept traveling, over Jack's thigh to his pelvis…

"John, you're going to get us arrested on the first day."

"Have we tried that yet?"

"Be serious."

"Hey, you two!" a stranger called.

They looked up to see a green-uniformed officer approaching them.

"I told you," Jack groaned.

John stubbornly kept his hand in place.

"John… let go. _Now."_

"Look, you can't do that out on the street," the officer told them sternly. "It's not decent. Did you forget what planet you're on?"

"More like what century we're in," John muttered.

"What?"

Jack wrenched John's hand away, wincing at the consequences of his act. "You'll have to excuse my friend, officer," Jack apologized. "He's stone drunk."

"Oh, I wish I were," John put in.

Jack elbowed him in the stomach. "I'm very sorry," he went on. "Never know what he'll do when he's intoxicated. I'll try to keep him in line."

"See that you do. I'll let you off with a warning since you're new in these parts."

"Thank you, sir," Jack told him sincerely. "And may I say, you're an honor to your uniform, sir."

The officer walked away with a smile tugging the corners of his usually-strict mouth.

"Look at you, Mister Public Relations," John simpered. "That was adorable."

"Oh, shut up. I just saved us a lot of trouble. That's the last time you grope me in public, understand?"

"I understand perfectly."

And he did. And he still understood perfectly when they were sitting behind bars together a week later.

"I. am. going. to. kill. you," Jack growled.

"Ever laid someone in prison?" John asked cheerfully.

"I've never _been_ in prison except for one mission—and it was _part_ of the mission. How could you do this to me?"

"Well, stop being so delicious and I'll stop wanting you at inconvenient times."

"You're going to pay dearly for this."

"Kill me slowly, won't you? Make it last. Wait, I'm talking to Sir Faster-Than-A-Microwave…"

"I'm about to bitch-slap you."

"All I did was put my hand in your waistband. I don't see what's so…"

"In my waistband? Where do you think my waist _is,_ anyway?"

John chuckled. "Too far away. Come on, let's make up."

"After I punish you," Jack growled.

And then, to his great surprise, John experienced the roughest love-making he'd ever been on the receiving end of. Some twenty or thirty minutes later, as they lay spent on the floor of their holding cell, he took Jack's hand and pulled it up to his breast. _I feel drunk. This was the _best. _I need to make him angry more often._ "I love you."

* * *

><p>"Seriously?" Jack asked. "That was the first time? You actually remember that?" <em>He can be such a girl sometimes...<em>

"I used to use the L-word very rarely," John answered, his tone guarded. "I didn't have family, and in my experience it was the ones I loved that ended up hurting me."

"I know I had told you before that."

"Well, yes—in the heat of passion. To be honest, I didn't take you very seriously."

Jack absentmindedly stroked the side of John's hand with his thumb. "Huh."

"How serious were you?"

"Are there levels? I guess it depends on your definition of love. Is it a feeling? Or is it a choice?"

"Or is it both? I'm inclined to think it is both, and up until then, I'd only had half."

* * *

><p><em>Not sure what to say for myself this time. :p Plenty more ideas; hope I'll have time to write them up soon.<em>

_Song lyrics are from "The Big Bang" by Rock Mafia.  
><em>


	20. Vacation

_Long-ish chapter for ya. Enjoy._

_Some mature content—should be able to skim without lasting damage. ;)_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty: Vacation_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Right this way—this is the tourist's entrance."<p>

"I really appreciate the customer service, but I'm a native here—I don't need a guided tour."

There was a knock at the door.

"Hang on, I'll get it," Jack said, quickly pulling on a pair of shorts.

"It's probably for me, though."

Jack opened the door, caught sight of Blake and shut it again. "You promised," he said darkly.

"I lied. Come on; let's not leave the kid out in the cold."

"It's a sultry evening. He'll be fine."

"Well, let's not leave him out in the sultry. Come on."

Rolling his eyes, Jack opened the door again. "Hi," he told Blake with a sheepish smile. "Sorry—my partner didn't tell me to expect a guest. What's your name?"

"Blake. I work at the—"

"From the Red Hawk? Yeah, he's mentioned you. Come on in." After a moment's hesitation, Jack said, "You know what? I just remembered something I've got to do…" he reached for his pants. "But don't you two wait up for me. Have a good time."

"Jack," John protested, "don't go out now."

"No, really. It's urgent." He kissed John—just the corner of his mouth and a glare—and shook Blake's hand. "Nice meeting you. Have fun. I'll be back later."

John sighed, staring regretfully at the door after Jack passed through it.

"I shouldn't have come here, should I?" Blake asked quietly.

"Oh, no, it's not your fault. I… should have talked to him about this is all."

"We don't have to do this tonight. If you hurry, you can catch him."

"No. He gets his way too often. Let's take his advice and have a good time."

* * *

><p>"I wish now I'd gone after you," John said wistfully.<p>

"Do you? What would you have said?" Jack waited in silence to give John a chance to consider.

"I would have said… 'I was wrong, Jack. I sent him home. I'm sorry.' …And then, what would you have said?"

"I wouldn't have said anything. I'd have kissed you."

"And then we'd have gone home happy and had our night together. Wouldn't we?"

"Mm-hm."

John held Jack's hand tightly. "He did end up leaving sort of early. I felt like a heel."

"Good to know you weren't having an identity crisis."

* * *

><p>John found Jack in a pub the next morning. He was hunched over the bar with a glass mug of what looked like very watered-down rum.<p>

"Jack. Been looking all over for you."

"Why? I knew where to find you. You should have stayed home."

John glanced at the barman who gave him a sympathetic look.

"I know they put water in my drink," Jack commented. "Trying to foil my plans to stay drunk all day."

"Maybe they just don't want you to kill yourself."

Jack turned bleary eyes on John. "One question," he slurred. "Am I not enough for you?"

"Course you are," John answered quickly.

"Then why d'you keep messin' around wi'that kid Blaise all the time?"

"Blake. And I think we'd better talk about this later. God, is this how you feel when I'm drunk? Because I'm beginning to feel a bit of sympathy."

"I'm not drunk."

"Well, you're damn good at faking it."

"Okay… maybe I'm sorta drunk," Jack admitted.

"Kid, you're wasted."

"I sat here all night."

"I'm sorry."

"You're a repulsive liar—why should I listen to you?"

"You mean I'm a _compulsive_ liar."

"That, too."

John put an arm around Jack. "Come on—let's get home and we'll talk."

Jack pulled away. "I can go by myself, damn it." He slumped against the bar. "But I guess I'll let you help me this one time," he conceded.

"My pleasure. Come on."

John left the bartender a generous tip and hauled his friend away. By the time they got back to their apartment, Jack was a bit more lucid. He soon began complaining of a headache.

"Yeah, I'm not surprised," John said bringing out the painkillers he normally took for his own hangovers. "Here, take this with a full glass of water."

Jack did as he was told. Then he sat on the bed and put his head in his hands.

John sat beside him and put his arm around him. "Jack? You are enough for me, okay? I just like to spice things up a bit, you know. It's like you always say—they forget after two weeks. Where's the harm?"

Jack rubbed his temples. "I… I don't know."

"You'll always be the main course and anyone else who shows up is just extra."

"I wish you'd told me he was coming."

"I didn't know. I'd told him where I lived, but I didn't actually expect him to stop in. Now, please—isn't this a bit silly? Are you really jealous of him?"

"It's not that."

"Well, what is it, then?" John frowned, his limited patience wearing very thin.

"I don't know. I still think he's too young for this kind of thing."

"He's of age. I made sure. He's just got a very youthful face." _Why's he freaking out about youth? Did he once sleep with someone without asking their age and find out he'd committed statutory rape? Happens to the best of us. He shouldn't feel so bad…_ "Jack, it's all right. He's fine."

"I just don't want this going on," Jack said slowly. "I moved us here to avoid him. He's a nice kid. Let's just leave him alone."

"You think I'll ruin him?"

"Maybe. He kind of reminds me of me when I was younger."

_Oh, so I ruined __**you**_. "Before you met me, you mean?"

"No; before I had a booking agent."

John blinked. "Sorry, I don't follow."

Jack sighed and leaned his head on John's shoulder. "My first agent when I got into show biz; he was a nice guy. Always got me gigs between contracts, great businessman. But after a while, he got a little too familiar with me."

"You mean he did stuff to you that he oughtn't when you were still a kid?"

"I don't think he meant to do me any harm… but I wasn't ready for that. When my mother found out she fired him on the spot. Then I had to get a new agent, and it kind of freaked me out. I'd only ever had one, and I figured he'd be with me forever. Now I had to meet someone new with the idea in the back of my mind that the first one had turned out to be bad and the next one might be worse..."

"Blake's not a kid."

"But he's trusting like one."

"If it's not us, it'll be someone else that takes advantage of that trust. Someone else might hurt him."

"Will you please let me insist on this? It's not a big thing, right?"

John rubbed Jack's back. _You're the one making it a big thing…_ "All right. This won't happen again. Happy?"

"Thank you." Jack put his hand on John's leg. "I was thinking… this fortnight's almost shot anyway; let's just take the rest off. And the next one, too."

"Really? The whole thing, with no working on the mission?"

"Yeah. What do you think?"

"I think it's about time! It's what I've been trying to get you to do for four years!"

"I'm just so tired. I think we deserve a vacation, right?"

"Absolutely. Do you want it to be just us, or do you want to invite some other people in once in a while?"

"Just us. At first, anyway. We'll see."

"Okay." John kissed Jack's head. "Whatever you like." _Spoilt. But hot. Very hot._

* * *

><p>"That was such a good two weeks," John reminisced. "We'd get up at noon, go eat, hang around, get in trouble for loitering, get chased out of places for indecency…. And then we'd go home and fall into bed and never stop until morning. I miss those days."<p>

Jack didn't answer. He'd enjoyed that time very much, but he didn't think it was a good idea to say so.

"That was when I was really sure that I loved you. I didn't care if we got out or not—I wanted to be with you forever. I'd never been that happy before, and I never have been since. I could never find anyone else who could begin to satisfy me. It would seem nice for a while, but I always ended up thinking of you when I was with them. Comparing everything. Pretending I was with you instead…"

"You what? Don't tell me that," Jack said, grimacing.

"What? Why not?"

Jack remembered the Doctor's words from the night he nearly regenerated…

_"I'd do her a disservice, thinking of her right now. And you too, for that matter."_

"I don't like the idea of you perving on me while you're doing someone else. It… seems wrong. And it's not fair to them."

After a long silence, John muttered, "God, you're determined to take away the one pleasure left to me."

* * *

><p>"So glad you've outgrown your Boy Scout days," John told Jack as they lay in bed late one morning. "Can we invite a blonde home tonight? I need a blonde."<p>

"I had ulterior motives for doing things by the book."

"Eh?"

Jack rolled onto his stomach and rested his head on his arms. "I think it's time to come clean."

"Okay…"

"I had to really toe the line when I first started, because everyone was just waiting for the child star to screw up. So when the commander called me to his office after my third mission, I knew I was either doing a great job or I was in trouble."

"I'm guessing you weren't in trouble. You never got in trouble."

"Ha. Not never. Just less than you. Anyway," Jack resumed, "he said they'd been looking for a new partner for this uncontrollable guy named John Hart who apparently went through about a partner a week."

John smiled. "Not quite, but I had a nice run of them before you."

"They said you either scared them to death, killed them, or made them almost as unreliable as yourself."

"Sounds about right."

"So, since I was acting so responsible, they decided to let me take a stab at you. I couldn't very well refuse."

"Course not." John massaged Jack's shoulders with one hand as he listened.

"They knew you'd do something terrible to me if you knew I was supposed to be your good influence, so they told you they wanted you to show me the ropes."

"Right. Get me to think I was babysitting you when you were really babysitting me. I get it. What did you get out of it?"

"A pay raise and an extra vacation."

"Really? It all comes back to money, doesn't it."

"That's what you taught me. Nothing's really worthwhile, so get all the money you can."

"Oh, you were listening," John simpered. "That's my boy." He kissed Jack's face. "I forgive you for consorting against me. But if you want to make it up to me, we can bring home a blonde tonight."

* * *

><p>It had been four and a half years. Jack and John walked into Gardine like they owned it. They might as well have. They all but forgot about the Cloak and went straight to the bar. Sarah Brightman's "Starship Trooper" was blaring as they strode inside.<p>

"Okay," Jack said in an attention getting voice, looking around at the people in the bar. "You, go. You, stay. You… go, go, stay, go, _go, go,_ mm, staaay." He winked at a redhead.

John grinned as he watched his partner sort the people in the bar.

"All right, flyboy," the bouncer said, approaching them. "Can you get over yourself, or do you need to go outside?"

John stepped up and put his arm around Jack. "Oh, he can probably get over himself. Unfortunately, I'll _never_ be able to get over him." He pulled out a pistol and leveled it at the bouncer. Jack brought out his own gun and swept it over the crowd.

People began to back away, and a few to scramble for the doors.

"Go on," Jack prompted, "I told you people to go."

There was then a mass-migration toward the exit. As the building emptied, John slipped behind the bar.

"How long until the coppers come?" John asked, setting up two mugs and pouring the best whisky into them.

"If we're lucky, fifteen minutes." Jack looked around. "You stayed!" he exclaimed, spotting the redhead.

She smiled. "You told me to. I never argue with a man with a gun."

"If you like that gun, wait till you see the rest of his arsenal," John muttered happily.

"If all we have is fifteen minutes, you'd better be good. Do you have…"

Jack reached into his pocket. "Best in the universe," he assured her.

"Get busy; the clock is ticking," John reminded them. He watched in pride as Jack and his new friend got to work. "That's my boy," he said to himself. He took a swig of whiskey. "Mm, good. Yes. Hey, Jack—I'm going to need you _really_ soon."

"Little busy," Jack panted.

"I see that." John resumed drinking until he heard the redhead moan in pleasure. "Oh, good boy! Well done. Very well done. My turn. God, we're short on time—lucky for you I'm three-quarters there already."

"I'll keep a lookout for you," the girl offered, fastening her clothes up quickly.

"Oh, I think you'd better make yourself scarce, darling," John told her. "You don't want to get pinched."

"I can always tell them you took me hostage. I don't want to miss this part."

"Mm, girl after my own heart. We are so going to have to do this again very soon. Cm'ere, Jack."

John was so aroused that it took him very little time to finish. "Oh, I love you," he growled. "Come on—quick drink and let's go."

"I had a fantastic time," the redhead told them. She kissed Jack goodbye. "Thanks, gorgeous. I'm Sarai."

"Jack. My pleasure."

They gulped down the whiskey as they caught the first sound of sirens in the distance.

"Oh, we're good," John said, grinning. "Come on, love. We've got some cops to bamboozle."

* * *

><p>"I've got an idea," Jack told John when the latter came out with their unopened mission orders.<p>

"Let's hear it."

"The Verastigen Crystal is a temporal stone. Maybe the Cloak used the Crystal to make the time loop."

"He can't have. We intercepted him before he stole it."

"Did we?"

"Well, yeah… I think. Yeah," John confirmed. "I'm sure we did."

"A prestigious place like the Gardine Hall of Antiquities is probably well insured, right?"

"I s'pose."

"And they could afford to have duplicates made of their rarest pieces, right?"

"Sure."

"The Verastigen Crystal is one of only six known temporal stones from that time period. They'd be stupid to display the real thing every day with only their regular staff on duty."

"So, the one we stopped the Cloak from stealing was a fake? So, where was the real one?"

"In safe storage, or so they thought. I think the Cloak replaced the real Crystal with a replica of his own before we even got there and used it to set a trap for us."

"But why didn't he just take it and run?"

"Because then we would have come to the right time to stop him. The meddled history showed that the Crystal was stolen on the 27th, because that's when the museum reported it. But it was actually the fake that was stolen on that day. They assumed that the Cloak had taken the duplicate off the display to replace the real one in storage—but he'd actually already done that with his own fake."

"But if he used it to set his trap, you're saying he knew we were coming?"

"Yes."

John frowned, thinking the idea over. "How could he have known?"

"Maybe he's been caught by the Agency before. Or maybe the trap wasn't meant for us in the first place. But in any case, I think we should figure out if I'm right."

"How do we do that?"

"Steal the Crystal ourselves and see if it's real."

"Oh, I like that. But supposing you are right—if he stole it and created the trap before we ever got there, we can't possibly stop him, can we? We've never managed to arrive there any day before the twelfth."

Jack stepped up close to John and put his arms around him. "One step at a time," he said. "Are you with me?"

"Always."

Jack kissed him. "Okay. You're a little more experienced where stealing is concerned—I'll need your input when we make our plans."

"Absolutely."

They were interrupted by a wolf whistle. "Oi, I thought you two hated each other," one of their fellow Time Agents called.

"We do—can't you tell?" John snapped.

"Sure, I always kiss people I hate," Jack agreed.

"Mm," the Agent said, narrowing her stunning brown eyes. "Well, lay some of that hate on me, will you?"

John looked like he was about to welcome her to join them, so Jack framed John's face with his hands and held his gaze. "Focus. We need to get back to Gardine. We'll find a nice blonde to stay the night with, okay?"

John's eyes lit up. "You mean it?" He squeezed Jack. "You're so good to me. Let's go."

The first night, Jack and John headed to the apartment house where they knew there would be a vacancy waiting for them. They were loaded down with stacks of maps and brochures from the Gardine Hall of Antiquities, notebooks and pens, and one blonde.

"What is all this for?" the blonde asked, looking curiously at the bags her new companions were carrying.

"Top secret project," John told her, winking.

"Very secret," Jack agreed. "What was your name again?"

"Della. If you want a date, too, I've got a friend," she offered.

"Do you object to being shared?" John asked. "Because I kind of thought…"

"Oh, I don't mind. But I think Sarai would really get a kick out of this."

Jack looked back at her in surprise. "Sarai? The redhead?"

"Yeah. How did you meet her already? Didn't you just get here?"

"Uh, yeah… someone pointed her out in the bar."

"Did you like her?"

"Oh, yeah. She's a knock-out."

John smiled. _I got my blonde; Jack's got his redhead. It's going to be a good night._

"Here, I'll call her," Della said, pulling out her stick phone and unfolding it. "Hey, honey, guess what? I'm with a couple of guys heading for the Laurelton. You wanna come even the odds?" A moment later, Della grinned and gave Jack the thumbs up. "Oh, he's a doll, honey. You'll love him. Okay, see you soon."

"Thanks," Jack said. He smiled to himself and didn't speak again until they reached the apartment building.

Sarai showed up a few minutes after they finished settling in. While they had dinner in the small kitchen, Jack and John let the girls tell them about themselves.

"You seem like pretty spontaneous people," Jack said, smiling at Sarai. "Have you always been that way?"

"Della has," Sarai said, returning the smile. "Me, more recently. I got tired of doing ordinary things."

"So did we," John put in. "That's why we started doing each other."

Jack watched Sarai's face with concern but John's comment didn't seem to bother her at all. He relaxed. "Yeah, more like your begging and whining is why…"

"Well, after all, can you blame him?" Sarai asked, her smile widening.

Jack took her hand. "I think I've had enough to eat. I'm ready for bed. Anyone else?"

"Definitely." John got up and escorted Della to the bedroom. "Anyone object to my dimming the lights slightly? Good. Music? Anyone?"

"Classical and barely audible, or nothing," said Jack.

John made a displeased expression. "You're no fun, Jack. Classical? Really?"

"Oh, skip the music," Della said, working her hands under John's shirt. "Let's just get going."

"I never keep a lady waiting," John conceded. He saw that Jack was going for the tender, gentle approach this time around. _Not his usual. Glad he's getting that out of his system with someone else._

* * *

><p>"Was it good?" John asked the next morning, after the girls had departed.<p>

Jack kept his eyes shut, but he smiled. "It was _so good._"

John pulled himself over to Jack and kissed his chin. "I'm glad to see you happy. Love you."

Jack kissed John's mouth. "Didn't get much sleep. It'll be a while before I can plan properly."

"I could wake you up," John offered, raising one eyebrow.

"Heh, nice as I'm sure it would be, It would make me even more sleepy after. I need coffee."

And then it was on to the planning stages. "The Great Train Robbery," John called it.

"There is no train involved, and it will be too subtle to be called 'great.' And if you don't start taking it seriously, it won't even be a robbery."

"Only a bit of fun. You're getting by-the-bookish again."

"I just want to be done with this. I haven't seen my mother in five years."

"I haven't missed anyone in five years."

"I wouldn't mention that when we get back."

John shoved his map of the museum aside. "Jack… you like Sarai, don't you? I mean, you really feel a sort of connection with her, right?"

"Doesn't matter. She won't remember me in two weeks, and maybe we'll be solving this thing once and for all."

"But why bother? Haven't we got everything we need? Who could be happier?"

"John, look at me. Have I aged in five years?"

"Not noticeably."

Jack shook his head. "No, really—look at me. Any change at all?"

"Not that I can see," John said, looking closely at Jack's face. "Why?"

"Because you haven't changed either. We're frozen. We're not aging. I think that means that we really could be stuck here forever. Not just as long as we live—for _eternity._"

"Immortality's not so bad."

"I can't live like this forever."

"Why not?"

"Because I still haven't found Gray."

John looked down. Gray. Of course. Until he found his brother, even if it was his last remains, Jack wouldn't be willing to quit looking. Quitting wasn't something Jack knew how to do.

"John, please. Help me get out of this."

Slowly, John reached across the table and took Jack's hand. "Okay. We'll get out. We're unstoppable, you and me. What chance do they have against us?"

* * *

><p><em>Hope you enjoyed it; comments welcome.<br>_


	21. Escape

_Whoopie-another update. xD_

_This one has some Torchwod spoilers-probably nothing you didn't know, though._

_Also some mature content-just skim to the next break if you're bothered._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-one: Escape_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Just stay still, I'll get you a painkiller." John rummaged through his knapsack until he found the tiny pills. "You still with me Jack?"<p>

"Yeah," Jack said faintly.

"Does it hurt?"

"God, John… no, I only got hit by a modulated energy pulse. Why would it hurt?"

John smiled slightly. _Good to know his sense of humor is fine._ "MEPs are child's play in our time, you big baby. Here."

Jack lifted his head and took the pill and water John offered him.

"There'll be an ID signature in you now," John told him. "We've got to get it out."

"No matter what time you go to, it always comes back to removing bullets, doesn't it?"

"You ever been shot before?"

Jack shook his head. "First time."

"Congratulations." John kissed him. "All in all, the plan went pretty well, though. Right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's get this over-with."

John chose his favorite knife and went back to the bed. "Okay, sweetheart. Show me where it hurts."

"You do know what you're doing, right?"

"Yes. I promise." John looked into Jack's eyes and stroked his brow. "You trust me, don't you?"

Jack nodded. He closed his eyes. His hand moved slowly up to his right shoulder and he felt around for a moment before his index finger came to rest just below his collarbone. "Okay, it's right here."

"All right." John kissed him softly. "I love you."

"Love you too… please, be careful."

"I will. But you're going to feel this, I'm afraid." John took Jack's left hand and cuffed it to the bedpost.

"Hey… what…"

"Just to make sure you don't interfere. Try to relax." John rested his left hand on Jack's shoulder while his right brought the knife point to the place Jack had indicated and made a small incision.

Jack gasped in pain, but he didn't struggle.

"That's the way. Easy." John gingerly made the cut longer.

Jack's breathing became heavier and sweat broke out on his face.

"It's okay. You're gonna be fine." He very carefully splayed the skin with his left hand and spotted a tiny glow coming from inside the wound. "There we are. I can see it. Hang on." He set the knife aside to wipe the blood away with a cloth. Then he took up a pair of tweezers and opened the wound again.

Jack flinched. A tear escaped the corner of his eye.

"I'm sorry. You're doing really well," John told him. "I'm proud of you."

"Oh, shut up," Jack grunted.

John grasped the little glowing speck with his tweezers and set it in the ashtray on the bedside table. "There we are." He released Jack's left hand and gave him the cloth he'd used to clean away the blood. "Hold that on your cut; I'll see if I can get a needle someplace to stitch you up." He leveled his VM at the ashtray and gave it a neutralizing pulse. The glow went out, leaving only a tiny metal ball smaller than the head of a pin. "Okay, they can't track us now. I'll be right back." He kissed Jack's forehead and left him just long enough to buy a needle and thread at the corner store.

"Feeling any better?" he asked when he returned.

"A little," Jack said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"You'd never done that before, had you?"

"Mm… no," John admitted.

"I didn't think so."

"I did all right though, didn't I?"

"We'll see." Jack braced himself as John brought out the needle and thread.

"Sorry, this is going to be a bit primitive. Who actually sews anymore? We'll fix you up properly back at the TA."

"Won't need to—I'll revert back to the state I was in at the start, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. I s'pose you will."

"Um… what are you doing?"

"Gonna stitch you."

Jack shook his head. "I don't think you've ever stitched anything in your life. I think I can do this part myself. Hand it over."

John did as he was told. "What makes you the expert? Were you needlepoint champion of the Boeshane Peninsula?"

"Nope." Jack snapped the thread off the needle and re-threaded it. "My mother used to design children's clothes for me to model."

"So, you were her dummy? How appropriate."

"Shove it."

John watched Jack work. He kept silent so he wouldn't distract him, but he kept a hand on Jack's chest, moving his fingers minutely to show his support.

"Okay," Jack said at last, tying off the thread. "Cut that for me, will you?"

John cut the thread and set his knife and the needle aside. "I'm sorry you got hit."

"Wasn't your fault. Check out the crystals. Are they real?"

John brought out the two crystals they had taken from the Museum. "Okay, the display…" he performed a few scans with his VM. "…is fake. It's a very good copy, though. Very nice. The other… oh, fake as well. Clearly. This one's not nearly as good. You were right." He smiled at Jack. "Well done. So, now what do we do?"

"Wait out the rest of the week. When we come back, we need to find the Cloak as quickly as possible."

"But the only place we know he'll be is the GHA on the 26th and/or 27th…"

"No, we spotted him as early as the 18th, remember?"

"Frankly, no. It's been so long since we took the mission seriously, I don't remember much of what we did before."

Jack struggled to sit up.

"Easy, mate."

"Painkiller's working. I'm okay. I figure we need to find him and tail him to his base of operations. Then we can find out how he set up the time loop and break it."

"Oh, sounds simple," said John sarcastically. He put his arms around Jack, careful not to disturb his wound. "In the meantime… since we've got to blow the rest of this week anyway…" he kissed Jack's cheekbone and moved his mouth slowly down to his neck.

"John… have you ever tried being gentle with another guy?"

"Sure. We've done that some. But I thought you liked it rough."

"I do. But I'm not sure I'm up to it right now and besides…"

John studied Jack's face. "What is it?"

"I… just think you put more feeling into it when you take your time. More meaning."

"Are you going sentimental on me?" he asked, stroking Jack's face.

"Could we just take it easy tonight?" Jack asked, sounding as if he were trying to get out of a parking ticket. "Nice and quiet from start to finish—do you think you could do that?"

"Sure. I can do anything," John boasted. "I think it's a little boring, but I suppose it's a good idea to give my patient some extra attention. TLC."

Jack smiled. "Thanks."

It had been so long since John really, seriously took things slowly and gently that he found Jack's gentlemanly side tortuous to deal with.

"Jack…" he pleaded when he couldn't stand it anymore. "Come on, please…"

"What do I have to do—cuff _you_ to the bed?" Jack asked, smiling. Then his expression turned cold and he brought his face close to John's as his fingers moved slowly, inflicting tantalizing agony on his partner. "By the way," he said icily, "don't you _ever_ call me a microwave again."

_Oh, god, he tricked me. This was cold, calculated pay-back. Damn him._ "All right. You win. I take it back."

Jack's smile returned and he pulled John closer. "Thank you. Stay with me, now."

John closed his eyes as new waves of pleasure crashed over him. _How the hell does he do this to me—I'm going to come off right here and now, and I haven't even tried to get inside…_ He moaned suddenly as Jack tipped him over the edge. Then he found his mouth full of Jack's tongue, felt Jack's hands everywhere…

"I love you," Jack whispered.

John collapsed against Jack's chest. "I love you too, you torturing bastard."

Jack chuckled and kissed the top of John's head. "Sleep well."

* * *

><p>Jack didn't like being reminded of that night. The way John had taken care of him, the way he'd been downright <em>sweet,<em> which was akin to blasphemy for John, the way Jack had cruelly shown him the reason penetration had never been necessary to him with other male partners, the way they had pledged their love to each other…. It seemed wrong now. Out of place. Something from someone else's life.

"Maybe I was the wife," John mused. "But I loved it. Loved you."

_Don't say it,_ Jack thought, but it didn't matter, because they both knew what John was thinking:

"_I still do."_

* * *

><p>It took a few more cycles of the time loop before the Time Agents were able to track the Cloak back to his base of operations. It seemed to be a rotund structure resembling a water storage tank. They could find no way to get inside it—there was a keyhole, but the lock's technology was far above the capabilities of a vortex manipulator.<p>

"It's beautiful," John said, looking over the readings from his VM. "It's a physically mechanized lock, but it's on a rolling code. Simply ingenious."

"So, you know how it works—can you open it?"

"Nope. We break our way in or don't get in at all. I recommend dynamite."

"Hang on… we're close enough that I can pick up a fix on the Verastigen Crystal. It's not inside."

"Really? Where is it?"

Jack scanned the ground. "It's over here… here we go—buried here in the ground. There's some other reading, too… I don't know what this means."

"Damn, we'll have to go back to town for shovels. It'll be dark when we get back. Can it wait until tomorrow?"

"John, we're so close. We need to finish this."

John grinned. "I remember the last time you said that. All right; we'll forge ahead."

Under three feet of dirt, they found a metal box about two feet by three. The lock on the box was not as complex as the one on the structure nearby and John managed to open in short order.

"Oh, my god," Jack breathed.

Inside were not one, but three gleaming crystals, evenly spaced in the box. The Verastigen glowed white, sending a bright stream of particles to the next stone, which radiated a soft turquoise light. A stream of blue flowed into the last stone, which was sending its own stream of faint gold back to the first.

John scanned the system repeatedly, checking each result. "Oh, this is… this is way beyond us, Jack."

"What the hell is it?"

"It's… well, it's a time loop, of course."

Jack made some scans of his own. "What does it mean?"

"This is Gardine," John said, indicating the Verastigen. "The blue is the Time Agency. And the gold is time itself."

"But they're just stones, right? If we crushed the blue one, the Time Agency wouldn't disintegrate, right?"

"No, they're just controllers… I can't explain because I don't even really know how it works, myself… wasn't paying attention to that bit in training, since they said we'd never need to know it anyway. They told us nobody encounters time loops firsthand and blah, blah, blah…"

"Well, how do we stop it?"

John put his hand between the two of the stones. The light particles continued on, as if going through him. "The stones are physical, but this energy isn't." He frowned in thought. "I've got an idea… but it involves more theft."

"How soon can we get it done?"

"Tonight." John replaced the lid of the box. "Let's go."

A few hours and stolen MEP guns later, they were back at the box. John tipped back the lid and the glow from the stones lit their surroundings in the dark.

"Okay. We've got to interrupt the streams all at the same time," John instructed. "MEPs don't become physical until impact, so I'm hoping they're the right sort of stuff to interfere with this… whatever it is."

Jack nodded and aimed his gun. "Let's hope our luck holds. I've got the white."

Just then, the door in the metal structure a few feet away lurched open to reveal the silhouetted figure of the Cloak. "I saw you'd dug up the box and I knew you'd be back," he said. "I am impressed that you found the stone so quickly."

_Quickly? _John thought. _Five bloody years…_

"Now," the Cloak went on, aiming a strange-looking device at them, "I'll give you just a moment to drop your guns and surrender."

"John," said Jack, "let's get him."

"I'm going to count to three," the Cloak warned.

"On three," John said, nodding.

"One," the Cloak said, looking angrier by the moment. "Two…" he lifted his instrument menacingly. "Three!"

Jack and John fired simultaneously. Jack's offensive shot was easily absorbed by the Cloak's device. His other landed perfectly in the middle of the white energy stream, just as John's two entered the blue and gold. The stones began crackling and giving off sparks.

"What have you done?" the Cloak cried. "No!"

Jack's eyes grew wide as he saw a dim image of the Cloak overshadow him and be absorbed by him. Then the Cloak stumbled back into his structure and the door closed behind him. John rushed forward but it was too late.

Moments later, the structure faded out of sight. The night became absolutely silent except for the occasional call of some nocturnal bird.

Jack turned back to look at the box. The glow was gone. The stones were cold and dull.

"What the hell was that?" John asked. "That ghost-ish Cloak…"

"I think it was the other him. He was stuck in the time loop, too. Except he also rewrote it. There were two of him here each time, instead of one like us. The first version set the trap. Then, when we started the week over, while the first one set the trap again, the new one was rewriting. He just waited until we left to go back to the TA, stole the fake, came back to his ship and took off without a care," Jack reasoned. "Then, when we destroyed the time loop, the second version couldn't exist anymore. We hauled him back into the first body."

"How do you know all that?"

"I don't. I'm making it up. But it sounds good, don'tcha think?"

John grinned and tackled Jack. "We did it," he laughed. "We've finished the mission and we've got a week and a half to spare."

"Well, we didn't really complete the mission," Jack reminded him. "We were supposed to stop the Cloak from stealing the Crystal and arrest him. We haven't really done either."

"Details, details," John said dismissively. He moved his hands seductively over Jack's body. "Wherever he got those other two stones, I'm sure they're valuable, too. We've recovered three important objects of power. I think that will make up for losing the prisoner. And speaking of valuable stones…"

Jack groaned. "You make the most terrible puns. Come on—let's return the Verastigen and get the others back to the TA."

"But… we've got a week and a half."

"John, don't you want to go home?"

John rested his head on Jack's shoulder. "No… this feels like home now. Here, in Gardine, with you. It's the closest thing I've ever had. We know everything there is to know about this town, this planet, this time… we could own it so easily. It's ours, Jack." He lifted his head and looked into Jack's eyes. "Ours."

Jack lifted his hand to John's face and caressed him. "We've been here too long. You've forgotten the life you had before, that's all. We have people to go back to."

"I don't," John said stubbornly. "They can go to hell."

Jack pulled him down and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, but I need my family. I have to go back, even if you won't come with me."

"Won't come with you? You think I'd stay here without you? You're the reason I want to stay. If you go, I'll go. I just wish…" John paused, realizing that for the first time in years, his throat was getting tight. He felt out of his depth. _This isn't right… I don't want to go. Why can't you understand?_ "I need you. You're my best mate. You love me, don't you?" _God, that sounded weak._

"Of course, I do." Jack pressed his lips against John's neck and rubbed the back of his head. "I love you very much. But you're not the only person I love. Please understand."

John's eyes stung. _Damn. No. Don't do this to me._ "Could we stay a couple of days, at least? I'm not ready to go back yet." He waited, trying to keep his breathing quiet.

Finally, Jack answered. "I'll wait until the day after tomorrow."

"Thank you." John proceeded to cover Jack's face with kisses. "I love you so much."

* * *

><p>"You know I had to go back," Jack said quietly.<p>

"I know," John agreed. "But that didn't make it easier for me. You realize I was willing to live out my days there with you, forever? I wanted to."

Jack closed his eyes and felt John's hand entwined in his own. "Yes, I know." _I'm sorry. I know it didn't work out how you wanted. But you lost your mind… it didn't have to be this way._

"It was so weird, going back," John went on. "Getting back to our normal timestream felt so… abnormal. Actually living through something new that we'd never seen before. Getting a new mission, finally. After getting the same one some hundred-thirty times or whatever, we finally got to do something new."

"That was weird," Jack agreed.

"And then they decided to split us up. We were having the time of our lives, blazing through missions… sure, we didn't get them done quite how they wanted us to, but we always got the bottom line right, didn't we?"

"Yeah. Left a lot of messes in our wake."

"But it was fun."

"It was escapism for me. I hated that I couldn't find any new clues to find Gray. And somewhere in there, my mother disappeared. She said she was going away for her health, but she wouldn't tell me where, or how long she'd be gone. I felt like I'd lost everyone."

"You had me. But I was never enough for you, was I?"

"It wasn't like that. No matter how many wonderful people you have, it doesn't take away the pain of the people you've lost. Isn't that what you've been telling me here?"

"If you understand that, then why do you go on pushing me away? I've never stopped loving you."

"Never? Don't make me laugh. You tried to kill my entire team. You thought you had killed me, and you showed no remorse—"

"That's not true," John cut him off. "You've no idea how torn I was."

"Yeah, sure. I bet you sang a dirge for me. You were insane."

"Hold on a minute. You're not seeing the whole picture, here. I didn't go to twenty-first century Earth to kill you and your team."

"No; you went to find a diamond."

"Well, yes. And when I found that you were in the same area, it was just… icing on the cake. Actually, no—it was more like _an extra_ cake."

"I'm a cake now?"

"Mm, you always were. But anyway, when we met again, it was like old times. Need I remind you, you kissed me first?"

"Of course, I did. How else would I greet you? Need I remind you that you hit me first?"

"Course I did. You should have seen it coming. I always told you to make sure you got the first hit in; you let your guard down."

Jack smiled in spite of himself. "Okay, fine. But you had no reason to hurt my team. We were helping you. Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because you loved them. You 'd forgotten all about me and replaced me with a pack of… children who could never understand who you really were."

"Don't talk about them that way." Jack felt a lump forming in his throat.

"I'm only trying to make you understand how I felt at the time. I'm sorry about them now—truly, I am. But when I told you it was good to see you and then you told me to leave… it was like a slap in the face. I'd been planning how I'd catch up with you; maybe we could find the diamond together and split the money. We could be partners again. And then, I'd tell you the best part: I'd found Gray for you. I knew you'd be so pleased. You'd be overjoyed. You'd take me back with open arms, and we'd be happy forever. Only then you told me to leave. You didn't want me. Have you any idea what that did to me?"

Jack felt tears in his eyes. _Is it possible? Was he really ready to reform and I crushed him? Oh, god… but he's a liar. An accomplished one. This could all be a lie._

"I know you think I'd gone off the deep end before that, with the lying and the drugs and the alcohol and sex and killing… but it was all due to the Agency splitting us up. I couldn't bear being without you. I was trying desperately to find a way to forget you, because it hurt so much."

"Don't blame your addictions on me," Jack growled as hot tears rushed down his cheeks. "I know it was hard for you, but you're still the one who made the bad choices. No one forced you."

"I know that. I know I was wrong. But listen—I started these things because I wanted to forget you. But I got over them because I wanted to find you. I stuck with the Time Agency after you left because I knew they were looking for you, too. But every time they found something that looked like it might possibly be you, they stuck me on another assignment.

"You abandoned me, but I never stopped hoping I'd find you. And then, when I finally did… you belittled me in front of your _new_ friends, you wouldn't take anything I said seriously—you treated me like an enemy. Like the shit of an enemy."

Jack could hear that John's breathing was heavy and irregular now. _Damn, we're both going to be a big mess pretty soon…_ "I didn't abandon you. I had to leave. The Time Agency brainwashed me. They stole two years of my memories—I had no clue what I'd done or what had been done to me. I couldn't stay with them after that—I don't trust people who don't trust me."

"Why didn't you come to me? I'd have helped you. Didn't you know that?"

"I didn't remember what had happened between us in the last two years. For all I knew, you were in on it. That's why I had to leave without talking to anyone, not even you."

* * *

><p><em>It was getting long, so here's where it stops. More soonish, as time allows. Thanks to my beta for helping me figure out timey-wimey time loop stuff and for helping get this one done quickly. Comment away. :)<br>_


	22. Friends

_Back to normal chapter size... :p_

_This is a relatively clean chapter with some Torchwood spoilers. Hope you like it._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-two: Friends_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"So, you had to leave," John said after a long silence. "All right. I understand that, I suppose. I was very upset by it, but I did hope you had a good reason. When I found you, all ready to pick up where we left off, and then you acted as if I'd never meant anything to you, I definitely lost my temper. I wanted to hurt the people who replaced me. But I also wanted to give them a chance. That was for two reasons. First, I thought I could change your mind. If you decided to take me back and then found out I'd killed your little team, you might have called it off again, Gray or no Gray."<p>

_Bastard,_ Jack thought, but he didn't interrupt.

"Second, I sort of liked them. They were all decent-looking, especially what's-his-name, the useless one. Eye Candy."

"Ianto," Jack said angrily. "His name was Ianto."

"Easy." John rubbed Jack's shoulder. "Ianto. That's the one. And that adorable little Asian chick. But they were an all right team, too, and obviously devoted to you, so they couldn't be all bad. So I wounded two of the four and gave the others a shot to save them while I talked to you. All that was more than fair to my way of thinking, after you'd trampled my heart."

"Those friends of mine… I saw them all die. Owen, Tosh, Ianto and Gwen. All of them. Gwen's the only one who lived anything like a normal lifespan. The only one who got to have a family and some semblance of a real life."

"How'd Ianto die?" John asked softly.

Jack felt an uncomfortable twinge. He was having severe déjà vu to the night John had persuaded him to talk about losing his father and Gray. "It was a weaponized virus. He died in my arms."

"I'm so sorry." John put his arm around Jack.

Jack tensed, but John didn't grip him—just rested his arm there. He relaxed slowly, glad he had left his shirt on.

"I know he was special to you. He saved my life once, too. From those weevil pets of yours."

"So… after you tried to get me to join you and 'rule the galaxy as father and son,'" Jack prompted, "you shoved me off the roof."

"You skipped something. You forgot the bit where you made fun of me and made it clear that I was nothing to you. I didn't care so much that you threw the canister off the roof—I knew I could go get it quite easily. It was the way you used it as a symbol of my insignificance. You rubbed my face in it. So, even though I knew deep down it wasn't true, I made up my mind that I could dismiss you just as easily. And off the roof you went. I was always impulsive, you'll remember."

Jack fought to keep from laughing. "A symbol of your insignificance?"

"You're doing it again."

"Sorry, I just… wow. Okay. Go on."

John sighed. "When I went down and saw you up close… I nearly lost it. You were everything I'd been hoping in for so long. What did I have left to hope in when you were gone? The thrill of winning the game… eh, it wasn't actually a thrill at all. It felt more like a chore, going back down into the Hub to piece the clues together and all… and I was quite impressed with your little team after that. But I know you just loved walking in and seeing the look on my face."

"I did," Jack confirmed.

"The thing is, you were thinking of me as the evil traitor at that point. You had no room for the idea that I could be sorry for what I'd done to you. Oh, and incidentally: That corpse you lot found that started the whole thing? Well, he was a mugger. I killed him in the process of rescuing a poor bloke from being robbed or worse."

"Did you have to kill him?"

"Well… no, probably not, but I let the other guy go. But that's not the point. Sort of wanted to get your attention anyway, and…"

"You don't have to kill people to get my attention."

"All right. I was wrong. I shouldn't have done it. I just… hadn't kicked the murder habit as solidly as I pretended. I'm sorry."

Jack didn't realize he was moving to comfort John until it was too late to stop without completely unsettling the calm. He rested his hand on John's arm.

"Anyway, when I saw you were alive, I felt my hope wake up again. And I hated myself for it, because I knew that as long as you were alive I would always want to try to get you back—and always set myself up to get my heart broken again."

"And then you grabbed Gwen to save your own skin."

"You weren't gonna help me. You were gonna let me explode. Some of us have only one life to live, Jack. I knew you'd find a way to save her—you cared about her."

"I did think of another way. Two, actually."

"You always were resourceful," John praised. "What were they?"

"Cut your hand off."

"Obvious choice. And the other?"

"Cut open your throat and follow it down as far as necessary to find the key to those handcuffs."

"Ouch. So violent."

"I'm glad we didn't have to, though."

"Oh, so am I. But do you know how degrading it was to offer to join your little team? And as if that weren't enough, to get _turned down_ for it? My god… how could you not know how much I loved you to put myself through that?"

Jack didn't answer.

John cleared his throat. "Listen… I know you thought I was completely mad when I showed up the second time. But now you know I was being forced, you don't hold it against me, do you? I didn't want to hurt you, I swear. I hated what he made me do to you."

"I…" Jack took a deep breath and stroked John's wrist lightly. "I know," he said. "I think you probably could have handled it a little better, but… you probably didn't have much chance to plan."

"You said…" John paused.

Jack didn't speak. He determined that the least he could do was let John take his time.

"When you came back to the Hub, I asked after your team. I know I sounded like I was trying to make you angry, but I actually was hoping they were all right. And when I said I loved you, I meant that, too."

"I know you did." _Damn. _Jack swallowed. The lump in his throat was growing again.

"I tried to make you see that I wasn't acting of my own free will, but… well, forgive me, but you can be a bit thick sometimes."

"I'm sorry. In all fairness, though, that unhinged cat glare didn't help your good-guy image. And neither did the electric shocking."

"I had to—Gray was very specific on that point. I'm sorry. Oh, the shocking, I mean—not the glare."

"Okay… okay." Jack sighed.

"When we got to the roof," John said, his voice sounding very strained, "you said you could make things right with me. You've no idea how much I wanted to take you up on that. Did you mean it, Jack?"

Jack felt fresh tears on his face, and the lump in his throat was choking him. _Did I mean it? Why am I even wondering? What's there to think about?_ "I thought you were going to kill my team. I'd have said anything to stop you."

John's hand tightened slightly on Jack's side and his breathing sounded very shaky. "All right," he said at last. "Thanks for the honesty."

"John… I didn't mean it then. But that doesn't mean I don't want things to be right between us now." Jack tugged John's arm gently until his friend settled in his arms. "I'm sorry I didn't understand what was happening. And I'm sorry I hit you before I gave you a chance to explain."

John gave a small laugh. "Can't believe you remember that." He nestled his head against Jack's chest. "I'm sorry I hurt your friends. I'm sorry you had to lose them. I'm sorry hurt you." His voice grew shakier with each statement, but he kept going. "I'm sorry I killed you. Twice. It was just twice, wasn't it?"

Jack smiled. "I think so."

"I'm sorry about Gray," John went on. "I don't know what I could have done, but I wish I'd realized sooner how unstable he was. Should have known. Takes one to know one, after all. And I'm sorry I couldn't help you save your friends. I'm sorry… that I screwed up your life."

Jack grimaced. He held John tight against him. "I screwed my life up plenty without your help," he said.

"Maybe I've no right to say this, but I had hoped… since you're so determined to stick by Gray, no matter how he's hurt you… I hoped you might be able to forgive me, too."

_Why not? Why have I been so hard on John when Gray's been just as bad? If not worse…_ "Yes," Jack whispered. "I forgive you. Sorry it took me so long." He rubbed John's back and kissed his head. "I know I've hurt you. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"Then… I forgive you, too."

They were silent then, slowly making Jack's shirt and the pillows soggy and pretending that neither knew the other was crying.

"Hey," John said after a while, "I'm pretty sure I'm completely sober… don't laugh… but is your heart beating really, really fast, or have you got two in there?"

"Oh…" Jack laughed softly. "I've got two. It's okay."

"You sure?"

"Count 'em yourself."

"I mean, are you sure it's okay? How did this happen?"

"Mm… it was part of keeping the Doctor from regenerating."

"So, this is new, then, not part of your immortality? The Master said something about having sex with him to stop him regenerating…"

"It wasn't like that. That… would have been… look, let's talk about the Doctor some other time, okay? In fact… how long have we been talking? We should probably get to sleep."

John reached for his VM and checked the time. "It's been a couple of hours."

In the glow of the VM's indicator lights, Jack saw the rectangular scar tissue on John's wrist. He reached up to touch it gently.

"Got a skin graft," John said. "Wasn't too bad. You can still see it, of course, but it doesn't jump out at you." He set the VM aside and settled back down beside Jack. "You know, at the end of that whole thing, you absolutely made my day when you acknowledged that the ring was a good idea. When we couldn't find the signal, I thought we'd lost you forever. Anyway… good night."

Jack rested his hand on John's wrist, tracing the scar with his fingertips. Then he paused. "Hang on a minute," he said, sitting up.

"What? What are you doing?"

"Taking my shirt off."

"Oh… um, any particular reason?"

"Because you're my friend." Jack lay back again. "I don't want anything between us anymore. Come here. It's okay."

Tentatively, John put his arm around Jack again and rested his head on Jack's shoulder.

Jack kissed his forehead. "I love you."

John squeezed him. "Thanks. Love you, too. God, I've missed you so much. You know…" he added after a moment, "your pants are still between us."

"Shove it."

"Believe me, I want to."

They laughed quietly.

* * *

><p>Jack woke a few hours later. The ship was still dark. His arm was asleep from John lying on top of it, but he didn't move. After a while, the low wake-up lights came on and John stirred. Jack rubbed his arm gently. "Morning."<p>

John tilted his head back and blinked at Jack. A smile spread over his face. "I didn't dream it."

"Not all of it, anyway," Jack replied with a smirk. "Now… my arm's dead asleep and it's going to kill when you get up…"

"So I should just stay here," John concluded.

"No… guess again."

John smiled again and planted a firm kiss on Jack's chest.

Jack gasped and jerked away.

"Whoa—sorry," John said, perplexed.

"It's okay, just… just don't do that, please."

John frowned. "Okay…"

"Having two hearts… makes me more sensitive," Jack explained.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Uh… no." Jack laughed awkwardly.

"So, it turns you on? Is that what you're saying?"

"John, please don't abuse that information—"

"I won't. I promise. If it _kills_ me, I won't take advantage."

"Thank you." Jack found his shirt hanging off the side of the bed and pulled it on. "Oh—and there goes the arm. Oh, crap." He grimaced as the harsh prickling sensation began.

John obligingly rubbed his arm. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay."

"It's a whole new you," John muttered. "Two hearts, immortal… and is it just me, or are your eyes looking green these days?"

"You noticed, huh?" Suddenly, Jack froze. _Two hearts… immortal… "it changed the most important thing first… either that was partial regeneration, or you're able to project some energy of your own…"_

"What is it?"

Jack let his breath out slowly. "Nothing…. I just need to see the Doctor."

"You okay?"

"I think so. Actually—where's your knife?"

"Um—hang on."

John rummaged through his belongings and returned with his favorite knife—the one he had used to remove the MEP for Jack so long ago. He held it out to Jack.

Jack shook his head and held out his left arm. "Cut me."

"You've got a new boy friend, Jack—this is no time for S and M."

"Will you please just cut me?"

"I just made up my mind not to hurt you anymore…"

"John." Jack gave John his most serious look. "As you love me, please do this."

Obviously uncomfortable, John took Jack's wrist and carefully made a small cut above it.

Jack winced and then watched breathlessly as a tiny stream of blood began trickling down his arm. Then the cut knit together and disappeared. Jack sighed in relief. "Okay. Good. I'm okay."

John sat on the edge of the bed, still holding Jack's wrist. "I don't understand."

"I had to make sure I'd still heal. I'm sort of half Timelord now, and Timelords age. They can be wounded. They regenerate, but that's not the same as coming back from the dead. They can be killed."

"Oh, I see. Well, what did you need me for? Didn't have the nerve to cut yourself?"

Jack shook his head. "I just wanted you to do it—I wanted you close. I don't know what I'd have done if it didn't heal." _Read between the lines. I was scared._

John lowered his mouth to Jack's arm and began licking the blood away.

Jack flinched, remembering Gray licking up his blood, but he managed to control himself. "That's not sanitary," he pointed out.

"Saliva has healing powers," John replied. "Besides, this isn't the first time I've had your DNA inside me."

"In case you haven't noticed, I heal myself just fine. It doesn't even hurt anymore. You just really like the taste of blood, don't you?"

"Guilty. Does this fall under my drinking problem?"

"No, according to the Doctor, this falls under cannibalism."

"Oh. Ooh, I like it. Makes me sound exotic."

"Makes you sound repulsive. I think you've got that," Jack said, pulling his arm away.

John smiled. Then he looked up at the communications center by the door. "Hullo. Incoming." He got up and went to the transceiver. "Hart here; what is it?"

"Captain," said a female voice, "this is Jora Tate. I'm sorry to bother you, but my friend April and I would like to transfer to your ship."

"I'm sure most people would," John acknowledged. "Is there some urgent reason behind this request? Besides the obvious, I mean?"

"Some of the men on board are being pretty nasty to us. We heard you have another woman traveling with you, and we thought the company might be better there."

"Yes, Zoe's here with her husband, Wash. We've got the room. I can get you shuttled over here."

"Thank you."

John turned to Jack with a mischievous gleam in his eye. "There's two of them, Jack."

"Your point?"

"Don't give me that—you know what I'm thinking."

Jack stood and gave John a hard look. "Yeah? And what am I thinking?"

John sighed. "You've… got a new boy friend. On whom you are most unfortunately unwilling to cheat."

"The Master and I are just starting to trust each other. If I screw up now, I'll probably never get another chance with him."

"So, if I lie about you when we get back, I can get him to dump you? Joking!" he said quickly as Jack's expression became dangerous. "I'll behave. I just… I can't help it. I'm not going to give up hope. Even if you aren't attracted anymore, due to my _laugh lines."_

Jack smiled a little. "I only said that to make you mad."

"So you are still attracted?"

"I'm just saying."

"May I kiss you?"

"Why would I let you do that, Mr. Paralyzing Lip Gloss? I can't believe you stole one of my old tricks and used it on Gwen."

"I can't believe it worked, even though you warned her about it!" John quickly stifled the chuckle that tried to spill out. "Sorry."

Jack frowned at him a moment. Then he saw that John looked genuinely uneasy. He reached out and touched his face lightly. "Keep your mouth shut—in all senses of the phrase." He leaned in and placed his lips over John's in a very conservative kiss. "Now. That never happened."

"What never happened?" said John, deadpan.

Jack smiled and patted his shoulder. "Good wife."

* * *

><p><em>Now, go back and watch "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" and "Exit Wounds" again and see if I covered all the bases. ;) You'll see new shades of John peeking through. I hope I sufficiently redeemed him without taking away the core of his character. It's a difficult balancing act.<em>

_Reviews? Smart comments? Tell me what you think.  
><em>


	23. Secret Project

_Many innuendos/sexual references. No explicit material._

_Some spoiler-ish DW material._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-three: Secret Project_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"There you are! God, I've been going out of my mind… but I always was a bit mad, so I s'pose now maybe I'm back <em>in <em>my mind. How's things there? Did you find them yet?"

Jack grinned at the image of the Master flickering in front of him. "We're still on our way to the outer rim. It's going to take a while. Do you miss me?"

"Did you not hear a word I've said? Yes, I bloody miss you! There's nothing to do here. Well, except one or two things… I'm in that last rubbish Harry Potter book now—read the sixth in one night…"

"Oh, my god—did you really?"

"I'm a quick reader. And then there's my secret project. Oops! Damn, I told you about it."

Jack laughed. "Secret project?"

"Well, sorry to disappoint, but it's more for the Doctor than for you. Still can't give you details, though—you might spoil it."

"Oh, come on. I won't say a word. What is it?"

"Nope," the Master said stubbornly. "Don't trust you that well yet. But I will say: It'll be like nothing you've seen before. If I can manage it, of course. It won't be like nothing the Doctor's seen before… he's seen it loads of times, only it's been ages…"

"You're being annoyingly cryptic."

"Gotta be. So, how about you—you miss me?"

"Definitely."

"That's it? Elaborate."

Jack looked around to be sure no one was nearby. Then he leaned in close to John's VM and whispered, "I really can't wait to get into your bed again. I've been having some pretty interesting ideas…"

"Oh? Do tell."

"Can't give you details—but it'll be like nothing you've seen before. Of course, the Doctor's seen it loads of times…"

The Master laughed heartily. "Nicely done."

Slowly, Jack's smile faded. "Master?"

"Yeah?"

"I know the timing of this mission was really bad for us."

"It's all right. I'll be here when you get back."

"Thanks for understanding. I'm looking forward to knowing you better."

"Well, good. I'm looking forward to knowing you better. And by the way," the Master said, leaning in and lowering his voice, "I'm looking forward to having you in my bed, too—when you get back here, you're gonna be Master-bait."

"OH-HO!" Jack crowed. "Wow, you really got me." He laughed harder.

"That was quite good, wasn't it?"

"What's funny?" the Doctor asked, crossing the room. "What's the joke?"

Jack rubbed his mouth as he eyed the Doctor. "Uh… you wouldn't appreciate it."

The Doctor looked perplexed.

"Don't worry," said the Master, "it wasn't about you. Although…"

Jack started laughing again.

"Right, I think I'd better leave you to it," the Doctor said, backing away.

The Master grinned. "Poor old fellow. So, you having fun out there? Flirting with everyone as usual?"

"No," Jack said quickly. Too quickly. "Well… I flirted with Mal a little bit, but he didn't bite."

"Oh, too bad. Never go for a guy who doesn't bite, Jack. That's the best advice I can give."

"Are you encouraging me to be unfaithful to you?"

"Of course not." The Master smirked. "I'm just not telling you not to have a good time is all. I understand you've got human needs, and if you can't wait until you see me again…"

Jack narrowed his eyes. "I can't tell if you're trying to belittle me, or if you're trying to make me want you, or if you're hoping I'll go after someone here in particular…"

"Oh, just full of mystery, am I not?"

"Would you seriously not mind if I slept with someone else?"

The Master frowned. "I dunno. I've never been cheated on by a guy. Hm. No idea, to be honest. But after all, it's not like you'd be having someone else's love child."

"Speaking of which, what do you think about kids?"

"Kids? They're great with ketchup. And nursery rhymes. And they make for such sweet irony sometimes, due to their innocence. Oh, and they've got that brilliant show about the little thingamys with the tellies in their stomachs."

Jack blinked. "Wha—Teletubbies?"

"That's the one."

"When did you see that?"

"When I was prime minister. Watched it on my lappy."

"You're serious?"

"What? Haven't you seen them?"

"Not on _purpose!"_

"Really? I thought they were cool."

"Uh…" _Maybe he is still a little crazy… oh, boy._ "Anyway… I meant kids, like offspring. Of yours."

"Of mine? Oh. Ooh, me as a daddy. Hm." The Master tilted his head. "Can you see me as a daddy?"

Jack stared for a moment. "I'm starting to get a frightening picture."

"Well there—you see? Not meant to happen. Just as well. Wouldn't work anyway."

"Why not?"

The Master blinked. Then he leaned closer to the VM. "You're not a tranny, are you Jack?"

"No."

"See? Wouldn't work."

"There are ways. You've been hanging out in the wrong centuries."

"Well, even if you could carry my child, it still wouldn't work. Didn't the Doctor tell you? The Timelords have gone sterile."

"What? No, they haven't." _He just said children were… rare or something._ Jack tried to remember.

"Um… I'm a Timelord." The Master smiled. "I think I know."

"Yes, but…" Jack looked around to make sure the Doctor was out of hearing. "Things seemed fine the night he almost regenerated—everything was in working order."

"Good to know."

"And I _know _you're functional."

"But no, it's something else. The ladies blame the sperm, the guys blame the eggs—really we're not sure what it is. Or… was… since they're all dead, it doesn't much matter now, does it?"

"But that's terrible."

"I know—if we were gonna have kids, that might mean _I_ would have to carry _your_ child…. No. No, I don't think I could do that, Jack. We'd get a surrogate."

Jack shook his head, not sure how to respond. "So… even if the Timelords had survived, they would have become extinct soon anyway?"

Seeing the Doctor come into view again, the Master called, "Hey, would you please explain to our friend here where Timelord babies come from? He doesn't seem to know."

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, you are not talking about kids. Are you? Tell me you're not."

Jack smiled fondly at his friend. "Purely speculative."

"You couldn't be a dad," the Doctor told the Master.

"I did okay with the Toclafane," said the Master. "I made pretty children."

The Doctor grimaced. "Don't make me ill."

"Just a joke. Come on, it is a bit funny. Little bit? Jack? No?"

Jack coughed. "Anyway…"

"Hate to break up the party," John interrupted, "but um…" he leaned toward Jack and said in a loud whisper, "the girls are here."

"Girls? What girls?" asked the Master.

"Couple of girls shuttling over to our ship for better company. Jack didn't tell you?"

Jack glared at him. "John…"

"Oh, now Jack," said the Master, "Girls I do object to. Because they actually could carry your love child. That would make me terribly jealous. Well, bitter anyway. I'm not sure about jealous."

"Don't worry," Jack said coldly. "They won't be a problem."

"So, you don't object to guys?" John asked, quirking an eyebrow at the Master.

The Master smiled at him. "Dunno. Maybe it'd just be funny. On the other hand, maybe I'd murder you in your sleep. You never can tell."

"Ooh, I'm liking this."

"Well, I'm not," said Jack. "Will you two just… put it away?"

"Oh, let us fight over you," the Master said in a wheedling voice.

"Yes, I think it could be quite fun," John agreed.

"We're bonding over a common goal."

Jack opened his mouth, then closed it again. He put up his hands and gestured back and forth. "If you two want to have a swell time arguing, go ahead. I've got better things to do."

"But not better _people_ to do," John pointed out with a wink.

Jack left his seat and walked away from the others. The Doctor followed him.

"Jack."

Jack turned and the Doctor motioned to him to keep walking.

"What is it?"

"It's just something I've thought of," the Doctor said quietly.

"Okay." Jack glanced toward the control deck where Zoe and Wash were welcoming the newcomers.

"I can't explain properly. But sometime, when it might be important…" The Doctor frowned and stopped walking. He closed his eyes for a moment. "Look up. And… to the left. Yes; that should do it."

Jack searched the Doctor's face. "Up and to the left? What does that mean?"

"Nothing now. Maybe not ever. But… it's all I can think of, and it may be helpful one day."

_What the hell? It might be helpful to look up to the left?_ He sighed. "Okay. If you say so."

The Doctor smiled apologetically. "There's something else, too."

"Down and to the right?"

"Now, don't be like that. This is completely different. I meant to ask you the other night, but it didn't work out. And now it may not be practical…"

Jack folded his arms and waited expectantly.

"You know… now it comes to the point, I don't know how to ask."

"Just ask," Jack encouraged. "It'll be fine."

The Doctor licked his lips. "Okay. Here goes, then. Would you… do me the honor of sleeping by me tonight?"

Jack grinned.

"Don't laugh at me," the Doctor told him. "Please."

"I'm not," Jack said, quickly sobering his expression. _It's just that you're so damn cute._ "And of course, I would."

"I don't know how we'll manage it—other than Wash and Zoe's and the one in John's room, the beds round here are all bunks. It would be sort of tight quarters."

"Do you hog the covers?" Jack asked. "Don't worry—we'll put two mattresses together on the floor. We'll have plenty of room."

"Hey, Jack," John called, "When we get back, can I shag your boy friend? I'm not sure if he's turning me on or just pissing me off, and I wanna find out."

Jack rolled his eyes. Then he laughed. "Sure, why not? Let's make it a threesome."

The Doctor looked horrified. "That's disgusting."

"Only if you're in the middle, Jack," the Master put in. "I'm not sleeping next to a mere human."

"They're all insane," muttered the Doctor.

Jack looked around and saw Jayne standing nearby and looking… _interested?_ Jack flashed his eyebrows at him.

Jayne looked away awkwardly.

_Ha! He is interested,_ Jack thought, smiling. _Who'd have thought?_

"Well, things to do," said John. "And I need my VM back, so we'll see you later, handsome."

The Master leaned in, looking around. "Where'd Jack go?"

Jack move into the Master's line of sight behind John. "Here I am."

"Love and kisses, darling," the Master said with a grin. He blew Jack a kiss.

_What the hell, may as well play along._ Jack reached up and pretended to catch the kiss. "I'll call you again soon."

"Okay, love. I'll be waiting."

The holograph faded and John strapped the VM to his wrist again. "You two are so sweet," he commented.

* * *

><p>The two women, Jora and April, soon became good friends with Zoe. John let them stay in the Captain's cabin for privacy while he moved to a bunk in the crew's quarters with the other men.<p>

"That was nice of you," Jack commented suspiciously.

"Well, as they're in my room, I'll have to go in and out getting things quite often," John explained. "Maybe eventually I'll get invited to stay."

"It's all clear now. Oh, by the way… you might try your luck with Jayne. I think he's curious."

John grinned. "Thanks for the heads-up. I may just do that. Newbies can be so much fun. I remember when you were shy."

"I did all right. Tell me: Was there ever a time when you were shy?"

"Mm… a brief time. Very brief. What's a word that means briefer than brief?"

"Thong?" Jack suggested.

At dinner, the newcomers got acquainted with everyone. Jack saw that the Doctor's cheerful enthusiasm seemed to actually subdue the girls and make them less willing to talk.

_That's weird. Girls usually love him. He's cute, he's friendly… what's their problem?_ Jack found the Doctor's hand under the table and held it. _They'll come around._

The Doctor didn't look at him, but gave Jack's hand a tiny squeeze.

Jack smiled. _Maybe they're homo. That would explain it. But then, they seem pretty friendly to the rest of us._

"We should get to the outer rim by the morning after next," John announced. "Then we can begin the serious hunt. I suggest everyone take the time to relax, get to know everyone's names, make sure your weapons are in good order and get plenty of sleep."

_Sleep, huh? You should talk,_ Jack thought, remembering how late they had talked the night before. But he was impressed with John's leadership—in the old days he hadn't done well with such large groups.

* * *

><p>"Where are we taking them?" the Doctor asked, meaning the mattresses they were dragging out of the ship's main dormitory.<p>

"The engine room."

"The engine room! Why?"

"Not likely to be bothered or overheard."

"Will we be able to hear each other, though?"

"Sure. They're not loud and we'll be close together. Now, come on, slow poke."

The Doctor scowled and tugged at his mattress. "There's no good way to get a grip on a mattress. Did you know that?"

"I wouldn't say that—I've found a lot of good ways to grip a mattress…"

"Sorry I asked."

They finally arrived at the engine room and laid the mattresses in a corner.

"I'll get the blankets; you make yourself comfortable," Jack said, heading back the way they'd come.

"Jack, this isn't a date."

Jack looked back innocently. "What did I do?"

"Never mind. Just go." The Doctor sighed. _I thought this was a good idea. I hope it wasn't a bad one. I agreed to get in bed with Jack bloody Harkness. Oh, lord…_

"You okay?"

The Doctor looked up to see Jack approaching with his arms full of blankets and pillows. "Sure… yeah."

"Don't be nervous," Jack said, tossing a pillow at him. "Like you said, this isn't a date."

The Doctor tried to calm himself as they arranged the bedding. _Look how calm Jack is. This is normal to him. It will be fine._

"I'm gonna go brush my teeth; you can get on your PJ's or whatever."

"Right." _Didn't bring any; traveling light._ The Doctor rummaged in his travel bag and found a tee shirt he'd picked up in some shop on some stopover… _Think Rose talked me into this one._ He fingered the splashy print. It contained unreadable words, a fleur-de-lis, and lots of swirls. It wasn't really his style, but Rose had assured him it was "in." He smiled.

Soon he was settled in. He sat propped up with his pillow against the wall and waited until Jack returned.

"Is that a trendy 21st century Tee I see?" Jack asked as he came through the doorway.

"Don't laugh."

"I think it's really cute."

"Yeah, well… that's not helpful either. What are you in—are those track slacks?"

"Comfortable, but not revealing. I could lose the muscle shirt, but I'll keep it on if you prefer."

"Do you mind?"

Jack shook his head. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable. It's fine."

"Okay; thanks." The Doctor waited until Jack was settled and then turned out the lights with his sonic screwdriver.

"Was there something in particular you wanted to talk about?"

"I don't even remember," the Doctor said with a small laugh. "I don't think it was specific. It's just so much has happened the last few days…"

"I know."

"How are you, anyway? You talk a lot sometimes, but not usually about yourself."

"I could say the same about you."

"Mm. Touché. It's hard for me to talk much about serious things."

"It's not exactly easy for humans, either. We just kinda force ourselves sometimes, since we're not as empathic as Timelords."

"How about this: I'll try to be a bit more human if you try to be a bit more Timelord."

"Okay, it's a deal," said Jack. The Doctor could tell from his voice that he was smiling.

"Great. So… I guess that puts the burden on me to start the conversation." The Doctor felt Jack's hand cover his and he took a calming breath. "I haven't been doing so well, to be honest. I mean, I'm okay… my energy's back near normal, and I didn't have to regenerate. That's all good. But I'm still wondering about how it changed you, and whether it's done anything to our friendship."

"I still heal," Jack told him. "I tested it this morning. But I was wondering if I'd regenerate if I got mortally wounded. That has me a little worried. Do you think that could be why I changed so much and you didn't recognize me?"

"Hmm. I suppose it's possible. I sort of doubt it, though." _The Face of Boe lived for millions of years—even Timelords don't normally live that long. One regeneration couldn't last that long… could it?_ "I suppose if you had the attributes of a Timelord combined with immortality, then it might be the answer. But then you'd be… well, you'd be like a god."

Jack stroked the Doctor's hand gently. "I guess it's my vanity again, but I don't want all my DNA rewritten. I've lived in this form for hundreds of years—thousands, if you count the time I was buried alive. It would be so weird… so _hard_ to make a change like that now."

The Doctor turned onto his side and rested his free hand on Jack's shoulder. "If it comes to that, I'll be here for you."

"Thank you. That's the one idea that might make it okay. But about our friendship… I'm not worried about what happened. Sometimes a sexual encounter can ruin a friendship, but what happened between us was completely different, to my way of thinking. It was just some help I gave you that got kind of intimate and a little dangerous. Like letting a friend take a bullet out for you."

"Not a bad analogy. Still, you're the only person alive who's been that intimate with me. It makes me feel a bit vulnerable to you. And yet, I know I can trust you. I trust you more than anyone else alive. But that makes me vulnerable to you as well—does that make sense?"

Jack turned toward him and put his arm around the Doctor's waist. "The more you give, the more you're in danger of losing. I understand that. But I trust you more than anyone else, too. It's funny, but the Master said something about loving and feeling stronger for the risk you're taking. That's how I feel about you, because I know you're worth the risk. Every day, I feel more confident in you. And I know that if you ever did turn against me, it would be a failure on my part, not yours."

_I'm not perfect, you know._ The Doctor squeezed Jack's shoulder and let Jack pull him closer. He leaned his head against Jack's chest and smiled when he heard the double heartbeat. "That gives me a great responsibility. You've set a high standard for me to uphold."

"I don't think I've overestimated you."

The Doctor fell silent until he remembered that he was supposed to be acting more human. "I know I said it before, but thanks for what you did."

"Thanks for letting me try."

"And you…" _Come on, blurt it out like a blithering human. _"You're my best friend, too." _Oh, here comes the squeezing. Timelord, Jack._

Jack kissed the Doctor's head and rubbed his back. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." _Seriously._ "Now, I know you're supposed to be acting the Timelord right now, but I've got to ask—how have you been? How are things between you and the Master? And you and John?"

"I think they're fine all around. In the Master's case, it's just going to take time to see if it can last. Oh, maybe you should know—he said he's working on a 'secret project' for you."

"For me? That sounds like he's booby trapped the Tardis or something."

"I have no idea, but it didn't seem sinister… still, it is the Master, so we'll have to remember to be careful when we get back."

"Yes. How about John? How are you getting on with him?"

"John's a little more… well, I doubt he's more complicated than the Master, but his situation is right now. He thinks he's still in love with me…"

"Could he be?"

"I guess he could. I hope not, though. I want him to be able to move on. I don't mind being his friend, but… we've grown apart. We're too different now."

"Is he the same as when you knew him before?"

"Well, no. I think he's more human now… I think he's getting better. But I don't want him to change just for me, either. He needs to believe in the changes he makes for himself. If he really wants to be a better person, then I'll be more interested in being with him. But for now, I don't see it."

"Be careful. If you want to keep it 'just friends' and he wants something else, you're likely to come to hard feelings eventually."

"Maybe. But think about you and me—sure, I'd like for us to be more than friends…"

"Jack, we _are_ more than friends."

Jack laughed. "Yeah. Agreed. You know what I mean. But it's okay. What we have is enough. And I think John and I could reach that kind of understanding, too."

_It's enough? Do you really mean that?_ "Maybe you can. As I said, just be careful."

"I will."

"How about Gray? Do you think he's doing better?"

"I don't know." Jack's voice sounded heavy. "He hasn't said much to anyone since we left. I want to try to talk to him, but… I guess I'm afraid I'll make things worse."

The Doctor turned his head slightly, rubbing his cheek against Jack's chest before settling into a more comfortable position. "It is difficult to tell the best way to handle it. Do you think he'll be all right when we find the Reavers, or might he snap again?"

"I don't know. I'll ask John what he thinks tomorrow. He spent some time with Gray after getting him away from them and before he found me. He might have a better idea of how he'll react."

"Maybe so. That's a good idea." The Doctor relaxed, concentrating on Jack's fingers moving over his back—not seductively, not mischievously; just softly, in small soothing circles. "I'm glad we did this," he murmured.

"Me, too."

"I admit I was a bit worried…"

"You don't have to worry. If I do anything that offends you, just tell me and it will stop. I promise."

"Okay." _Why was I worried? It's Jack. My Jack._ The Doctor laid a soft kiss on Jack's neck. "Good night, friend."

"Good night, Dragon."

The Doctor snorted. Jack laughed quietly in the darkness.

* * *

><p><em>Hope you liked it. There are more secret projects than the Master's going on here... ;)<br>_


	24. The Gray Area

_A/N: Just when I thought I'd decided how I was going to pair everyone in the end, I thought of yet another person I could throw into the mix. The characters are all jockeying for position right now. The plot is intact (thank goodness—it gives me a starting point for each chapter), but the soap opera is still up for grabs. It's like one of those logic problems. "If Jack has four marbles and the Doctor has three and the Master has twice as many marbles as the Doctor, how many will John have if he steals all the Master's and Jack's marbles?" I'm sure it'll work out in the end, but for now it's a mess. :p_

_Mature content: Thematic elements (to be cliche...), disturbing images (see previous), __violence, __discussion of incest, other sexual references. If you've come this far, you should be okay._

_Spoilers: Torchwood spoilers, notably Exit Wounds. (again, I don't know why you'd have read this far if you were worried about that!)_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-four: The Gray Area_  
><em>

* * *

><p>When Jack dragged his mattress back into the dormitory the next morning, he was struck motionless by the sight of Gray at the other end of the room. Gray was shirtless, doing push-ups on the floor.<p>

"Hey," John greeted as he approached him. "How was your night with…" he followed Jack's gaze. "You hadn't seen the scars before, had you?"

Jack shook his head. "Just the one on his neck. John… he's toned. I mean, he's not huge, but he's…"

"I know. Looks good, doesn't he?" John smirked.

Jack dropped the mattress and took John by the collar.

"Whoa, easy. I'm just saying."

Jack looked back at Gray again. "When did this happen?"

"Just after I got him back. Once he was eating all right again, he started training his body. Said he wanted to be able to take care of himself. I think it's what he did to keep himself busy on the Tardis, too."

"I should be the one taking care of him."

John put his arm around Jack. "Look, you've got to see this as a good thing. He's getting stronger every day. It gives him something to keep him occupied and out of trouble."

"Yeah… It's just that he's my little brother. I used to be able to pick him up and swing him around… and now suddenly he's a man. I missed so much."

"Come on—let's go to the kitchen where we can talk. Everyone's done breakfast by now." John helped Jack return the mattress to the empty bunk and they left the room.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Jack asked as they headed for the kitchen. "When we find the Reavers… I keep thinking he'll go crazy and attack everything in sight, or he'll freak out and try to curl up in a cupboard or something…"

"I don't know. I don't think it'll be as bad as that. But whatever happens, you can rely on me to help you."

The kitchen was empty as predicted. John refilled the tea kettle and set it back on the cooking range.

Jack smiled a little. _There he goes, being the wife again._

"I told you how I located him, but not the details," said John. "Do you want me to tell you more? It won't be easy for you to hear, but it might help you understand him better."

"Yeah. Anything that could help."

"Okay. Here, you should probably sit down."

* * *

><p>John looked around the barren surroundings warily. He checked his VM. <em>No traces of alien tech. No traces of tech, actually. God, I hope I've come to the right place.<em> He scanned the ground with his eyes and walked aimlessly for a few minutes until he saw something on the ground. He knelt by the spot and checked the VM again.

_Blood. Human. Now we're getting somewhere._ He stood and followed the easiest path he could find up the rocky slope. A few minutes later, he found more blood. _Okay, getting warm. Now please, let him be alive. Alive—that's all I'm asking._

Soon the VM gave him a temperature alert. Something was significantly warmer than the surrounding air and rocks. _Something's alive. Or was recently._ He quickened his pace, keeping a sharp eye out for an ambush.

He came out into a more open area and saw the ground littered with bodies. He checked around quickly to make sure there was no one lurking in the rocks, waiting to attack him. Then he moved forward and looked over each body.

"Come on," he muttered quietly. "Somebody twitch. Anybody. Looking for a guy named Gray. Might be any age over nine, considering the dodgy nature of time travel. Gray? Anybody?" He nudged one male-looking body over to take a look at the face and wished he hadn't. The man's face was mutilated beyond recognition.

_Okay, that one's definitely dead. Moving right along… Woman… too fair… too dark… woman…_ Most of the people were chained to spikes driven into the rock. Most were human, but a few other species were represented. All of them bore evidence of torture: some burned, some missing patches of skin, and most cut in several places. Their clothes were tattered or missing. Many had bits of metal jammed into their bodies. John felt a little nausea rising in his stomach. _Where are you, kid?_

He consulted his VM and honed in on the highest temperature. _Let's hope we got a live one._ He followed the signal to the rough rock face where a young man was chained. His body was deeply scarred and covered with blood. His eyes were open in his heavily stubbled face, fixed on some point on the ground.

John scanned him over quickly. "My god, are you alive? Hullo, can you hear me?"

The young man didn't move. He blinked once, and his eyes remained half-closed.

John reached out toward him and suddenly he moved. He lurched to the side, straining uselessly against the chains. He gasped, his fear and feeble efforts taking his breath away.

"It's okay," John said quickly. "It's all right. I'm not going to hurt you. I've come here to save you. I'm a friend." He put his hands lightly on the young man's arms, afraid he might break them. "Is there someone named Gray here?"

The half-lidded eyes opened wide to stare at him and the struggling stopped.

"Is it you? Are you Gray?" John stared hard into the hollow eyes. "It is you, isn't it? You're Gray? I'm John Hart. I'm Jack's friend."

Gray stared back, blinking rapidly, seeming unable to comprehend what he was hearing.

"I'm going to get you out of here," John went on. He found that there were no locks on the chains—they had been spliced together around Gray's wrists with thick wire. Had Gray been a strong man in his prime, he might well have pulled them apart, but in his current condition they were more than adequate to hold him. John pulled back the wire, painstakingly twisting and bending it until the chains fell away.

"Okay, let's get you out of here."

"Jack."

John straightened and studied Gray's face again. "Oh, you can talk. That's good."

"Where… is he?" Gray choked.

"He couldn't come with me. I'll get you to him, but right now we need to get away before those creatures come back."

"They won't."

"Well, all the same." John consulted his VM.

"Wait."

"What is it?"

"Still… alive."

John frowned. "What?" He looked around. "There's someone else still alive?"

"Sh… she is."

John followed Gray's gaze to a curly-haired girl sprawled out on the ground. Her clothes were torn open and there was blood soaking the ground around her. John grimly scanned her and found that there was indeed a faint heartbeat. "There's nothing we can do for her, mate. She won't last more than a few more minutes. I'm sorry."

"There's one… one thing. One thing you… can do."

There was no need to ask what it was. John gently pulled Gray against him so he wouldn't see, pulled out one of his pistols and shot the girl through the heart. "Now we're going. This may be a bit uncomfortable. Hang on."

They arrived in John's apartment in 5099. John put Gray to bed and started him on a regimen of nourishing fluids. Before long, the patient fell asleep. He slept for eighteen hours.

* * *

><p>"I was afraid you'd never wake up. How do you feel?"<p>

"Where's Jack?"

_Damn, he's persistent. Guess I should have expected that._ "Truth is I don't know where he is just now. Something happened and he had to leave suddenly. But I'll find him, I promise. He shouldn't be nearly as hard to track down as you were."

"Why would he leave?"

"I don't know. But Gray, he thought you were dead—everyone did. I really didn't expect to find you alive."

"I was one of the unlucky ones."

John sat on the bed and brushed Gray's unkempt hair out of his eyes. "Now I've cleaned you up a little, you do look a bit like him. He's going to be so happy… more than happy. He'll be so thrilled he won't be able to stand it. He's been searching for you so long."

"When will you find him?"

"Soon as I'm sure you can do all right on your own, I'll get down to looking for him. For now, we need to get you well and strong again."

Gray took John's hand and kissed it. "Thank you. I would have died… all alone. The last to die."

"You're safe now. Nothing will hurt you here."

* * *

><p>By the next day, Gray was sitting up in bed and reading anything John could bring him. He eagerly accepted the handheld computer John offered and began reading up on current events.<p>

"God, I missed a lot. Words look so strange now. I didn't get much chance to read anything. Words were like money in captivity. Anything to remind us of home. Until we got so far gone we didn't care anymore, that is."

"How old were you when they took you? You were nine or ten, right?"

"I don't remember." Gray navigated the planet's network, taking everything in much more quickly than John expected. "So, how am I supposed to pay you back for all this?"

"Pay me back? I don't expect you to do that. I'm doing it for my friend. Did I just say that?" John laughed. "Ha, I must be losing my healthy greed."

"I know I don't have anything right now… If there's anything left of the family's money, maybe we can pay you something… are my parents still alive?"

John put his hand on Gray's shoulder. "I'm sorry. Your father died when you were taken. I'm not sure about your mother. I remember Jack said something about her going away. He can tell you more when we find him."

"Well, in the meantime, all I've got is me." Gray put his hand over John's and looked up at him. "Do you want that?"

For the first time in his life, John was appalled to receive such an offer. He struggled to keep his expression neutral. _Who knows how many times he's had to give himself over to keep from being killed, or to gain some tiny edge in a tiny world of savages? It's all he has._ He put his arm around Gray and kissed his head gently. "I don't need anything from you, Gray. Really, I just want to help you." _Besides, Jack would probably kill me._

Gray leaned against him and sighed. "Okay, if you're sure."

"I am. But… I know a lot of people round here. I could introduce you to someone. Would you like that?"

Gray silently went back to scrolling through articles for a while. Then he said, "Maybe. I don't know much about society now…"

"I can give you a quick fill-in on etiquette and such. You'll be all right. Would you prefer a girl or a guy?"

"Considering the last five thousand times I had sex, it was forced on me—I think I'll stick to girls for a while."

_Ouch. Okay, then._ "All right. I can get us a double date in a couple of days, when you're stronger. We should get your hair cut."

"Sure. New clothes would be good too—would that be okay?"

"Hell, whatever you want. You know, you've got a good vocabulary for someone held captive by barbarians since he was a child."

"Dad always said I was precocious. Jack got the looks; I got the brains."

John laughed. "I'll have to rub that in next time I see him."

* * *

><p>It had been a few days since John brought Gray back with him, and introducing him to a nice girl seemed to go fairly well. John had expected Gray to be very awkward and maybe nervous, but he didn't seem to be either. All he had done the last couple of days was read and exercise. He still looked thin and drawn, but with clothes covering nearly all of his scars, a clean shave and a close haircut, the casual observer would have thought that Gray had grown up in the city. His vocabulary was current, his manners were exemplary, and he showed a good grasp of current events.<p>

It was easy for John to leave Gray an open option by telling him that he and his date would be staying in a hotel that night—Gray would have the apartment to himself. Sure enough, when John called Meredith the next morning, she reported that Gray had invited her to stay with him.

"And you did, right?"

"Of course I did," she replied. "He was sweet."

"How was he? Did he do all right?"

"Sure. You were right, he was a little shy. But he knew what he was doing—that wasn't his first time, right?"

"God, no." _I wish,_ John added silently.

"He was really careful and gentle. But once was enough for him. Then he just settled down again and didn't ask for more."

"Well, his last experience wasn't a very good one. He's sort of in recovery."

"Is it anything to do with all those scars? I know you warned me, but god… what happened to him?"

"Something terrible. I don't think I ought to say exactly."

"He liked playing with my hair," Meredith said with a small laugh.

John recalled Meredith's bushy curls and smiled. Then he remembered the girl they had left chained in the mountains, her curly hair blown over the rocks by the wind… _I wonder if they were friends. Maybe they'd just met, or maybe he loved her. Who knows?_

"He was nice. It wasn't exactly a thrilling night of passion, but… it's nice to have a really sweet one now and then. He's okay, isn't he?"

"He will be. He just needs some time."

"Well, I told him he could call me. I wouldn't mind seeing him again."

"Good, Mered. That's really good. Thanks so much."

"No problem, Cap. You owe me."

"Oh, I'll find a way to repay you."

* * *

><p>"Did you find him?"<p>

"No; I'm sorry. If I can just get close enough—get into the right location or the right time within a year or two, I'm sure I can pick up a signal from his VM… In the meantime, I think I've stumbled across a way to get some more money. On the trail of a diamond."

Gray looked disappointed, but he said, "That's good."

"You're looking well—put on a little weight while I was gone. That's good."

"Did a lot more reading, too. There are so many new electronics I want to try out… And did you know they legalized homo sibcest? You can have het too, if you get a license. So sibcest is basically like cousin-joining now. That's so weird."

John shrugged. "It's an ever-changing planet. The more they allow, the more people want to try something they haven't done before… they're running out of options for new frontiers."

"I guess."

"Made me wish I had siblings when I heard."

Gray laughed. "I'll bet."

"I've done siblings before, mind you, but they didn't do each other. At least, not that I knew."

"Me, I'm tired of innovation. I want to get back to the basics. Forget all the shit I've seen."

"Can't blame you there."

"Do you think you could give me a little more money to work with? I've been working on some explosives, but I need more…"

"You were right—you did get the brains," John said, smiling appreciatively. "What are they for?"

"Just experimenting for now."

"Well, long as you don't blow up anything I'll have to pay for… or get arrested for. Sure."

* * *

><p>"Wait," said Jack. "They legalized <em>what?"<em>

"That's right… you left in '98, didn't you? Your memories of the two previous years were wiped out, so you wouldn't know."

"I remember people saying it would happen, but I never thought it would even come to a vote. They can't do that!"

"Why not? It's just like cousin-joining only a step nearer. Long as it's safe, who cares?"

"You don't understand. You never had siblings."

"It's not like they're telling people they _should —_they're just allowing the ones that want to."

"No. No, this is wrong. They allow sibcest, and the age limits keep going down, then they'll allow parent-child, and pretty soon no one will be able to stop a parent from molesting their child because they'll claim it was consensual…"

"Oh, come on. They'd never let things go that far."

"I thought they'd never let things go _this_ far. Aren't there enough partners in the universe without going for your own siblings? It's terrible."

"It's the 51st century. 52nd, almost."

"No. You don't get it. This isn't just part of normal adjusting…"

"Ever been to Old Earth Polynesia, before it was civilized? Families generally all sleep in one room, where the kids can observe mum and dad whenever they please. They had a whole society built on casual sex, and it seemed to work fine. It's happened before, it can happen again. Probably one day, they'll outlaw it again. It just depends on the social climate. It's the natural rise and fall, Jack."

Jack put his head in his hands. "Did you used to go to Polynesia a lot?"

"Every other week, before I met you. God, it was nice. You give them some little trinket, and they're yours all night. Cheapest sex I've ever found. Good, though. Mm, and the temple boys… they'd sometimes raise a boy dressed as a girl to serve at the temple. Never quite figured out why, but it was sure fun."

"You're a sick man, John."

"I'm getting better."

"No, really."

John took a drink of his tea. "Haven't been back there since, though. That should count for something. Anyway… I don't know if it should make you feel better or worse that Gray knew about that… I'm not sure what it says about what he did to you."

"Oh, he wasn't making love to me. I know that."

"No, I s'pose not."

They stayed quiet for a while, mulling things over until John spoke again.

"He's very calculating. He picked up modern technology so easily and started studying up on time travel and explosives right away. When I told him you couldn't die, I expected him to ask how I was so sure. I was still angry with you, but I certainly didn't want Gray to know I'd tried to kill you. He didn't ask, though. He asked a few questions about you and your team… then he got back to work again. I told him I could take him to see you, and he said he wasn't quite ready. I should have realized something was wrong… should have realized that things were going too well. He was adjusting too quickly. We never talked about the creatures—I still didn't realize they were human at that point. I never understood how lost he was inside. Until I woke up one morning with a detonator bonded to my wrist."

"I'm sorry. Some thanks for all the trouble you went through."

"Yes, well… If I were a real friend, I'd have disregarded everything he said and let him blow me up. Your team would have lived."

Jack looked up to see John staring somberly into his teacup. "I… I didn't blame you for that, John."

"Why not? You'd have let him blow you up. You wouldn't have let him hurt anyone else."

"Yeah, well… I know I can come back from an explosion. It only hurts for a split second. Of course, reconstituting is kind of like hell, but…"

John's mouth twitched, but he didn't quite smile.

Jack went to stand behind John's chair and put his arms around him. "Like you said, Gray's smart. He'd have found a way to get back to me, even if you hadn't helped him. He'd have destroyed my life. And without your help, I might not have been able to put it back together. Gwen and Ianto might have died, too. I might have stayed buried under Cardiff forever."

John pulled away and stood up. He knocked the chair over to one side and pulled Jack into his arms. "All the same, I'm really sorry about… what were their names? Sorry."

"Owen and Toshiko."

"I am sorry. I'm sure I'm not worth one of them."

Jack closed his eyes and gave John a squeeze. "I'm trying not to judge my friends by each other. The standard you need to hold yourself to is being the best person you can. I know I lost sight of it for a while, but you are very important to me."

"I love you, Jack."

_I sort of wish you didn't._ "I know. Thank you… for Gray. He'll get better. We'll help him."

John nodded. "I'm sorry for giving up on him. I won't do that again."

* * *

><p><em>So now you've seen some new shades of Gray. ;) Yeah, I got philosophical with the chapter title this time.<em>

_Thanks for all the reviews so far—they're what makes writing up all these crazy ideas worth-while. :)  
><em>


	25. Gossip

_I realized this chapter was mostly conversation; hence the title. :p_

_A few Torchwood spoiler-ish bits._

_No major adult content._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-five: Gossip_  
><em>

* * *

><p>The day went by quietly. The other ships checked in once in a while to make sure everything was following plan. John tried to infiltrate the ladies' inner circle—and failed gracefully. But Jack noticed that Jayne was acting strangely, which made him suspect that John had followed up his suggestion.<p>

"Get anywhere with Mister Tough Guy?" Jack asked John subtly after lunch.

"Jayne? Mm. Don't breathe a word. He's very insistent on the point that he will decapitate me if anyone else finds out what happened."

Jack grinned. "How was it?"

"Bloody hilarious. He really needs experience, but I doubt he'll want to try again for a while. Think I'll leave him be for now."

"The girls aren't very receptive, are they?"

John frowned. "I think they would be, but they're concentrating on the task at hand. They're pretty serious chicks. I wonder if they're as rough in bed as they are on a mission."

"No telling, but I wish you luck."

"I'm not going to fall for anyone else, you know. I suppose now that you've had Timelord, you've no taste for anything else… but that's how I feel about you."

"I can hope. I'd like it if we could both be happy."

"So would I. At least there's one way I think I can make you happy—I'm going to see if Gray will let me sleep by him again. He needs to talk more. Get connected with someone else so he's not just listening to his own thoughts all the time. Is that okay?"

"Yeah… that might be good for him. Thanks. Hey, can I borrow your VM again? I want to call the Master."

John rolled his eyes. "Always on the phone to your boy friend…"

"It's been a whole day," Jack objected.

"Yeah, okay." John unfastened the wrist strap and handed it over. "Say hi for me."

* * *

><p>Jack sighed in relief when he saw the Master. "What took you so long to answer? You had me worried."<p>

"Sorry, love; I was in the middle of something." The Master smiled at him. "You nearly there?"

"We're supposed to get there sometime tomorrow morning. How's your secret project coming?"

"Oh, very well. Phase one is complete. It was tricky, but I managed it."

"Good for you. I guess. You're not booby-trapping the Tardis, are you?"

The Master laughed. "Good idea. But, no. No, not at all. Now, no more questions—I don't want to accidentally drop any hints. It would never do for the Doctor to figure out what I'm up to and spoil the surprise."

"Okay. How about Harry Potter?"

"Finished."

"Did you cry?"

"Nearly—from disappointment. I knew I was right about Snape."

"Oh, well."

"I mean, you read this whole, long, over-dramatic story about an unremarkable boy and so much rubbish, and you get to the end and the most worth-while character dies needlessly when he should have ended up boss of the world… I hardly think it's worth my time to watch the movies, but I'm bound to get bored enough sooner or later."

"I liked Snape, too… you didn't think much of Voldemort?"

"There wasn't anything to like. Even his sense of humor was shamefully lacking. What good is a villain with no sense of humor? Dreadful. He hadn't any taste in fashion, either."

"You're not wrong there." _I'm discussing kids' fantasy books with a Timelord. This is weird._ "Don't try to talk to the Doctor about those books—he loves them."

"Eh, he would. So, are you still all mine, or have you been having an extra-M affair?"

"It can't be extramarital if we're not married."

"M stands for Masterful."

Jack laughed. "Well, no. I got to sleep by the Doctor last night, but that was purely platonic."

"Hmm. Was it?"

"You know I'd be looking like the cat that ate the canary if it wasn't."

"Yes, I suppose so. Does he like that little custom of yours?"

"Seemed to go fine."

The Master smiled thoughtfully. "Wonder if he'd sleep by me."

"I doubt it. Your bad intentions are a little obvious."

"Me?" the Master asked in a too-innocent tone, with an expression that hid nothing. "I can't believe you'd say that… Hey, is he around? I'd like to talk to him, too."

"Sure; I'll get him."

A little later, the Doctor faced the Master's hologram. "Hullo, you."

"Ay up," the Master responded. "I hear you slept with my boy friend last night."

"I hear you're working on a secret project," the Doctor responded coldly.

"He told you? I'm crushed! I knew I shouldn't trust the little git… thank goodness I didn't tell him what it was…"

"Master, I don't mind your keeping occupied, just remember you're a guest there."

"So preachy. Remember when we used to cut class together? We'd sneak away and just run and run and run…"

The Doctor smiled in spite of himself. "I remember."

"You had more stamina than I did—I fell behind sometimes."

"I always waited for you."

"Yeah—grumbling the whole time. 'Come on, Koschei,'" the Master imitated the Doctor's adolescent voice, "'Wot, you on crutches or something? Hurry up!'"

The Doctor laughed. "It was all in good fun."

"Yes, I'm sure. We used to have such times. Where did we go wrong, anyway?"

"I don't know… I got a conscience?"

"That was one step in the wrong direction," the Master agreed. "But I think that was an effect, not the cause. For some reason you just quit liking me all of a sudden."

"That's not true. What a silly thing to say."

"Are you mocking my feelings?"

"Oh, don't pout. You're being childish. There were lots of reasons we drifted apart. We just… turned out different."

"That's the easy way to avoid the issue."

"What issue?"

"I don't know. What was it that started the coldness? The dislike, the rivalry… what was it?"

"It wasn't any one thing."

"If it wasn't, you'd be trying to help me remember the first incident. But you're avoiding it. So it's something specific that you're still bitter about."

The Doctor looked away uncomfortably. "I'm not. I suppose I just think it's silly now, after all this time. The things that children get upset over, you know."

"What was it?"

"What really caused the first rift between us… I'd have to say it was you breaking your word to me."

The Master frowned. "Breaking my word… The only things we ever swore oaths over was not ratting each other out, and binding our fates for eternity. I don't recall breaking my word to you."

"Can we please not do this over a com? We can talk all you like when I get back; I promise."

"But I'm so curious now."

"Master. Please."

The Master looked back at the Doctor's earnest gaze. "Fine. Have it your way. Get Jack back on, will you?"

"All right."

"Doctor? I miss you."

The Doctor paused and gave the Master a small smile. "I miss you, too."

Jack was eager to resume his conversation with the Master. "You sure took long enough."

The Master folded his arms. "You told him. About my secret project."

"Well, you won't tell me what it is. I had to give him some kind of warning."

"But now he'll be expecting it, and the look on his face won't be nearly so priceless…"

"Sorry. You'll just have to live with a not-so-priceless look."

"You don't trust me."

"Not where the Doctor's concerned."

"I've been an _angel_ to him lately," the Master protested. "We're getting on all right. He said we'll talk when you get back. So, what more can I do?"

"I don't know. Not much, I guess," Jack admitted. "Has the _Serenity_ crew been looking in on you?"

"Yes. I really like River. She's come with Kaylee both times. She's fascinating. She seems to have gotten past the idea that I'm a baddie. Oh, I'm sure she'll want to know how Gray's doing—is he all right?"

"Yeah; he's okay."

"Gotten anywhere with him?"

"Not yet. We're working on it."

"Well, good luck." The Master's tone sounded close to sincere. "You'll call me again before things get serious, right?"

"Yeah, if I can. I…" Jack hesitated. "I wish you were with me."

"Not me—I wish you were here. Bye bye, love."

"Goodbye."

* * *

><p>After his conversation with the Master, the Doctor found Gray alone on the observation deck. He went to stand beside him and stared out at the starscape. "A few more hours," he murmured. "We'll be at the edge of the galaxy."<p>

Gray made no sign of hearing him.

"You and I haven't really spoken since we left the Tardis," the Doctor tried again.

"I figured that was how you wanted it."

_Good, he's not completely ignoring me._ "I'm still upset about what you did to Jack. But I'm not angry anymore. When I threatened to kill you, it was all bluff. I wouldn't really do that."

"Am I allowed to speak without being spoken to?"

"Yes, if you can be civil."

"Would you keep Jack away from me? I want to see him as little as possible."

"He's avoiding you as it is. He doesn't want to unsettle you. He loves you."

"No. You're wrong."

The Doctor frowned. _It's like talking to a wall… there has to be some way to get over it._ "I told you before that I wanted to leave you behind and Jack wouldn't let me. I didn't mention that Jack said he'd stay to take care of you if I insisted on leaving you."

"It makes sense. He doesn't want me loose on my own. He wants to make sure you're safe. You're the only person he loves."

"You and I aren't enemies. Why should he have to protect me from you?"

Gray leaned on the windowsill. His eyes roamed around from one star to another. "I don't really have a quarrel with you—except that he loves you. He loves you more than he ever did me. I wanted him to understand how it feels when everything's taken from you and destroyed. So I threatened to rape you in front of him."

The Doctor's eyes widened. He clamped his mouth firmly shut to keep from speaking.

"I wouldn't really have done it."

_Oh, that makes it all better. _The Doctor clenched his fists and waited for his outrage to calm.

"He took everything from me. Mom and Dad, our home, our life. He let them take me. And they showed me new worlds of pain, took my innocence, my hope, my humanity. I was less than nothing and I wanted to die."

Gray's tone remained cold, but the Doctor saw a tear moving slowly down his face.

"It's his fault," Gray concluded. "He did this to me. I hate him."

_Gray, you don't have to go on hurting like this. Isn't there any way to make you understand?_ The Doctor carefully took Gray's hand.

Gray didn't move. A second tear caught up to the first and sped it on its way. The Doctor reached up and wiped it away. Gray turned toward him suddenly, and the Doctor stiffened, but Gray only laid his head on the Timelord's shoulder.

"I hate him," he whispered again.

"Oh, Gray…" _He is a lost child. Isn't there anything we can do?_ The Doctor rubbed Gray's back slowly. _Who knows how long this will last? He might snap back the other way any moment and try to kill me._ "I'm sorry all this happened to you. I wish you would let me help you."

"You can't help. No one can. Please… I don't want to talk about him anymore." He put his arms around the Doctor. "I want to be alone."

The Doctor couldn't help pitying Gray when he heard his tired, broken voice. _If you want to be alone, why are you clinging to me like this? _"All right," he said quietly. "Will you be all right here?"

Gray nodded.

The Doctor stepped back. "If you should change your mind, you can talk to me."

Gray turned back toward the panes of glass. "Okay." His voice was toneless again.

The Doctor slipped away and found Jack back in the barracks.

"There you are," said Jack. "Do you know where Gray is?"

"I've just left him."

"Is he okay?"

"I… suppose so. About the same. He wants you to keep away. I'm not sure whether he's lost confidence in himself or if he's just being eaten up by his experiences, but I think it upsets him severely whenever he sees you or gets close to you."

Jack hunched over and looked dismally at the floor.

"He's not rational, Jack," the Doctor said, sitting down next to his friend. "I think we should probably humor him for now."

"Yeah. You're probably right. It's just so hard waiting and wondering if anything will ever change."

The Doctor took Jack's hand and lowered his voice so no one else would overhear. "He told me how he threatened you that night—what he said he'd do to me."

Jack let his breath out heavily. "I didn't want you to know about that." He looked up at the Doctor warily. "Are you okay? He didn't—"

"He didn't harm me," the Doctor assured him. "He said he wouldn't really have done it, and I think he was telling the truth. He only wanted to disturb you."

"He certainly accomplished that."

"Before I left him, he hugged me."

"He… he did? Why would he…? I mean, you're a huggable guy, but—"

"I think he's very confused. He wants someone to hold onto, but he's afraid of becoming attached to anyone. I think it's a good sign, though—he's not completely shutting us out. Maybe he'll keep reaching and if we keep trying on our end, we may eventually be able to meet him halfway."

"Maybe." Jack leaned his head against the Doctor's shoulder. "Thanks for trying."

* * *

><p>"So, this seems to be the designated resort of companionship," John said as he arranged bedding on the floor of the engine room.<p>

"Exotic," Gray commented.

"Isn't it?"

"Kaylee would love it. The engineer from the _Serenity._"

"Yes, Jayne tells me she gets excited round engines. I'd love to observe firsthand." John sat on the roughly assembled double bed and pulled his shirt off. "How've you been? You've kept to yourself lately."

Gray switched off the overhead lights and found his way across the room in the dark. "I don't have much to say to anyone. Doesn't keep me from hearing the gossip, though."

"Gossip?" John asked, his attention instantly arrested. "Like what?"

"Like… those two girls who came onboard act like they hate war, but they're going along with us to slaughter Reavers. They seem like they're straight, but they've barely said a single word to any of the men except you. I also heard that Jayne's been acting weird around you and that there was an incident between you and a certain poodle-ish dog on Barcelona…"

"What?"

Gray laughed. "You really shouldn't do things like that; they may be more advanced than Old Earth dogs, but they're not as sentient as the ones from our time."

"Oh, it's not like I… well, we didn't… who the hell knew about that, anyway?"

"So, it is true?"

"Depends on what you mean by 'incident.'"

"What did you see in her, anyway?"

"Um… a really adorable huge nose? Let's change the subject."

Gray laughed again. "I don't know what that says about the rest of us who have shared your bed…"

"I said, let's change the subject," John repeated, mischievously reaching an arm around Gray and pulling him closer. He soon regretted taking the liberty when he felt Gray's hand descend on the side of his neck with stunning force. He groaned and rubbed the throbbing area.

"Uh… I didn't actually mean to do that," Gray said slowly.

"Oh, I'm fine," John said, his eyes squeezed shut in pain. "You've really been getting in shape, haven't you?"

"Ha, yeah… are you all right?"

"Fine. My own fault. Oughtn't have surprised you like that." John waited, but Gray made no further apology. "I suppose it'll be a while before you're comfortable letting anyone handle you like that," he mused. "I'll be more careful."

Gray still didn't answer, but he shifted closer until his shoulder overlapped John's.

Cautiously, John rested his hand on Gray's arm.

"I noticed your arm healed all right," Gray said after a moment.

"Yes. Not too bad."

"I figured. I didn't plan to permanently damage you."

_Is that supposed to make up for what you put me through?_ "Only if I didn't go along with your scheme, right? Or wouldn't you have gone through with it?"

"I don't know, to be honest. I didn't expect you to resist. I knew you were pissed with Jack and you always look out for yourself. I figured you wouldn't die for him."

"Guess you're right—at that point, I probably wouldn't have." John moved his hand slowly onto Gray's chest. "May I?"

"Yes."

He put his arm around Gray and held him.

"I'm glad I didn't have to detonate you."

John gave a dry laugh. "So am I. Wish you hadn't shot Toshiko, though."

"Oh. Did you want her for yourself? Probably would have hurt Jack more if I'd killed what's-her-name—the bossy Welsh one."

"Gwen. I nearly blew her up once. Poisoned her, too. But why did you want to kill people who hadn't done anything to you?"

"Because of the people I saw killed," Gray answered without hesitation. "Every day someone was dying, but it was never my turn. I was just a kid and people I didn't even know were begging me to kill them because they weren't strong enough to kill themselves. Some of them were from my village, some I didn't know at all. They all died. All of them. Died, or got taken away to other groups and we never heard from them again.

"Why should he have any friends when all mine were taken away from me and slaughtered? Why should he be allowed to love anyone after he gave up on me?"

John felt a twinge of sympathy. _Jack gave up on me, too. That's why I hated his team. Just like Gray. _"I think I understand. I'm not saying it was right… but I think I know how you felt."

Gray reached up to kiss John's face. "When this is over you'll take me away from him, right? Don't let him keep me prisoner for the rest of my life."

"I don't know. It will depend on a lot of things. If he'll change his mind, I plan on making him _my_ prisoner for the rest of my life."

"He won't. He'll never let anyone get a real hold on him. He might pretend to love you for a while, but he'll leave you in the end." Gray's hand slid over John's face, his neck and down to his chest. He turned toward John more and kissed his neck.

"Gray…"

"Yeah?"

John hesitated. "Don't think I dislike it or anything… but I think we'd better be careful here. I don't want to get carried away."

"You? Carried away?" Gray said sarcastically. "Other than my brother and a dog here and there, when have you ever gotten carried away?"

_Damn, he sounds so much like Jack._ John wanted nothing more than to attack Gray's mouth and put him in his place, but he knew that would be a disaster. _Jack will never trust me again. Stay calm._ "Okay, that'll do." He planted a brotherly kiss on Gray's forehead. "Good night, Gray."

To his relief, Gray relaxed beside him and rested his head on John's shoulder. "Night."

* * *

><p><em>Almost down to more action, for those of you who are sick of the soap opera. Comment away; interested to hear your thoughts.<br>_


	26. The Hunt

_Here it is: the chapter that contains a little action (finally). :p_

_Some strong language and sexual references. No major spoilers._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-six: The Hunt_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"We're in formation and all set to follow the signal once I pick it up," John told Jack the next morning. "It may be a few hours or as much as a week, but I'm sure we'll be on them soon."<p>

"You can detect any time traveling device?" Jack asked skeptically.

"Should be able to. It's tried and true equipment, and it helped me find them before."

"Okay. So, now we wait. How did Gray seem to you last night?"

"Not bad. He was actually in a decent humor. Teased me a bit."

Jack smiled. "That's gotta be good, right?"

"Think so. We didn't talk very late, but it seemed to go well. Although…"

"What?"

"Well, nothing. It's just that he seemed to get sort of seductive for a little while, and I'm not sure how far he'd have taken it if I hadn't said something. I know you don't want me to go there with him, so…"

_My little brother coming on to John Hart. That's just wrong._ "Right. Well… thanks. How did he seem?"

"Casual. Like it wasn't a big deal either way. I think he's just trying to feel his way back into some sort of social stability." John shrugged. "I'm sure a lot of lines got blurry or erased completely during his captivity."

"Probably."

"Say, you never told me about your night with the Doctor. Either of them."

Jack rolled his eyes. "There's nothing to tell."

"That's not how the Master made it sound."

"Uh huh. I'm sure."

"Cooome on," John wheedled in his you're-so-about-to-give-in tone.

Jack stepped back toward the door of the cockpit to be completely sure that Wash and Zoe wouldn't overhear. "You're obviously not going to let this go, so I'm going to humor you. Don't ask about it again."

"Okay, I won't."

Quickly, Jack outlined how he had realized how to keep the Doctor from regenerating. He left the details out, telling John much less than the Doctor had told him during their talk in the Astronomy room.

"That's very clever," John commented. "I'm a bit surprised he agreed to it."

"It's not as if we really had sex."

"Oh, that's no fun. Just a hand job?"

"I'm not giving you any details. The bottom line is it did the trick. He stayed the same… more or less."

"And you got a spare heart out of it. Incredible. I wonder if the results would be the same if someone else tried it…"

"I really doubt we'll ever find that out. I hope not, anyway."

"So, how do you think sex with a Timelord differs from sex with a human? I mean, is it better, or…?"

Jack shrugged. "It's different. I think it's right up there with the best alien encounters I've ever had."

"It's so unfair that there are only two of them left," John said wistfully.

"I know."

"How was sleeping by him?"

"Good. He was really shy at first, but it was fine." Jack smiled at the memory of falling asleep with the Doctor in his arms.

"Captain," Wash called.

Both captains looked up.

"I'm getting some kind of signal here. Come take a look."

They rejoined Wash and Zoe at the controls and John checked the dimensional scanner which he had installed after buying the _Javelin._ "That's it," he said instantly.

"Are you sure it has to be them?" asked Jack. "Couldn't it be some other sort of… device?" He knew better than to mention time travel in front of the others.

"No, it's like nothing we had at the Agency. I think it's from… a more advanced technological society, if you know what I mean. When I tested the scanner before we left, it picked up the Tardis immediately—it was the same sort of signal."

Jack suddenly felt uneasy. "The same sort…. You don't think it could be another Tardis, do you? Or the same one?" he added, his worry mounting.

"How could it be?" asked Zoe. "Kaylee's been shuttling over there every day; the Doctor's ship hasn't moved."

_Secret project…_ "I don't like it," Jack muttered. "I'm going to tell the Doctor and see what he thinks."

The Doctor hurried to the cockpit and took a look at John's scanner for himself. He went over it with his sonic screwdriver and frowned in thought.

"Can you tell anything about it?" John asked.

"Not really," the Doctor answered. "Only that the scanner reads it correctly as a device for controlling the fourth dimension. As for what it is exactly… I can't be sure."

"Could it be a Tardis?" asked Jack.

"I suppose so—could be anything."

"Fourth dimension…?" asked Wash. "Isn't that time?"

The Doctor patted his shoulder. "Don't worry about it—you just concentrate on following that signal." He stepped aside with Jack and John.

"Do you think this could be what the Master is up to?" Jack asked quietly. "Maybe he's trying to get the Tardis to work for him and go back in time to meet up with us here?"

The Doctor frowned and shook his head. "No, I really think he'd just run for it. What unfinished business would he have?"

"Oh, I dunno… killing you and kidnapping me, maybe?"

"Well… besides that. Anyway, I'm sure he couldn't get her to fly for him. There's no override for the restraints I put on her."

"So, if you weren't able to go back to Barcelona…"

"She'd just grow old and die there."

"Are you sure?" asked John. "There's no possible way?"

The Doctor twiddled his fingers nervously. "Nope. Not that I can think of. Don't think so. Only a Timelord could do it, and even then, he couldn't. Just couldn't. Yup, I'm sure."

_What is it, then?_ Jack wondered. _Who is it? Are the Reavers really intelligent enough to time travel, even given that they stole someone else's device?_

"Well then, it can't be a Tardis, right?" said John. "I mean, you and the Master are the only Timelords left, so…? You are, aren't you?"

Jack studied the Doctor's face. He was staring off at something that wasn't there, deep in thought. Then he suddenly shook his head and smiled at John.

"Yes, of course we are. Must be something else."

John turned to call back to Wash, "Let me know when we're half the distance, all right?"

Wash gave him a salute.

"I'll go tell the others," Zoe offered. "Mal will be happy. I think he's going stir-crazy."

* * *

><p>Jack wandered into the kitchen a little later to find something to eat while he waited for further developments. To his surprise, he found Gray sitting at the table and drinking a bottle of beer. Something in his stomach flipped over. <em>My little brother is drinking alcohol. I'm going to kill John.<em> Knowing he wasn't wanted, he turned to leave.

"Been meaning to ask you," Gray said in the dull, detached voice he'd been using lately.

Jack stopped and waited, not quite sure whether to turn back or not.

"What happened to Mom? You know, the poor woman who gave birth to both of us?"

Jack gripped the doorframe. _Think. Don't lose it. Tell him the truth—not the story you usually tell people._ "I wish I knew," he said slowly. "She told me she was going away somewhere. She wasn't feeling well and she was going there to get better. But she wouldn't tell me where."

Gray gave a mirthless laugh. "So, she disappeared and you never tried to find her, right? Old habits die hard. You're good at losing family members."

Jack's grip tightened. _Calm. That may not be his first bottle. On the other hand, he may just be really out of it. Maybe it's because we're getting close to the Reavers._ "She made it clear that she didn't want me to contact her. I think seeing me and even just talking to me reminded her too much of you and Dad. If she'd wanted me to find her, she'd have sent word."

"What if she couldn't? What if she was trapped somewhere? You don't know, do you?"

"No, I guess I don't. But I think she wanted to live out her days in peace. I figured that was the least I could give her."

"And now that you know where I am, do you suppose she might want to know I'm alive? All the time I was frozen, did it ever occur to you to look for her?"

"No, it didn't. I didn't think she'd want to see you like that. She wouldn't want to know how you ended up there. She's happier thinking you died quickly."

Gray set the bottle down hard on the table. "That's not your decision."

_Get away,_ a voice told him. Jack took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Don't walk away from me!" Gray shouted.

Jack heard the sound of a chair tipping over as Gray stood too quickly. He walked faster.

"I'm talking to you, you bastard!"

_Yeah, you're finally talking to me. And just listen to the things you're saying._ Jack wiped tears out of his eyes and ducked into the engine room to escape.

He didn't know how long he sat against the wall trying not to remember or even think much at all. He saw light from the passageway spill in when John opened the door.

"There you are," John said. "You all right?"

"Sure."

John closed the door behind him and sat beside Jack on the floor. "What's wrong?"

"Did you turn Gray onto alcohol?"

"No! I mean… I guess he probably tried it at my place, but he never drank heavily that I knew. He's not drunk or anything, right?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Did he speak to you?"

Jack nodded. "He wants to know where our mom is."

"Do you know?"

"Nope. Another reason for him to hate me. But she'd be heartbroken if she saw him now. It's better that she doesn't know he's alive."

"I thought your mother died."

"That was the easy explanation I gave everyone."

John took Jack's hand. "Want to talk about it?"

Jack shook his head. "I'd rather you distract me."

"Love to."

"Not like that. Nice try, though." Jack leaned his head on John's shoulder. "Tell me more about Gray when he was with you. What did he do besides read and exercise?"

"He reprogrammed about everything in my flat."

"Nice."

"It was when I got used to it. Damned nuisance at first."

Jack smiled, feeling a little better.

"He slept a lot at the start, though. Didn't seem to have any regular sleep pattern. And he could fall asleep anywhere. One time we were eating in a shopping hall and I went to use the loo and when I got back, he was asleep in the booth."

Jack laughed. "Sounds narcoleptic."

"Nearly. I didn't know whether to wake him or not. Finally decided to try and it wasn't too difficult. Startled him a little, but as soon as he remembered he was with me and not in the clutches of savages, he was fine again." John paused to kiss the top of Jack's head. "I slept on the sofa the first several nights, but then he wanted me with him. And before you ask, I didn't do anything."

"I wasn't going to ask," Jack lied. _So would have asked._

"Some nights he'd just sleep a couple of hours and then tell me he was wide awake and go out to jog or something. Other times he'd sleep like a rock right through till noon. And then… sometimes, he'd start screaming. Not any words, usually. And I'd hold him and talk to him and try to wake him, but he wouldn't. He'd just scream. Or cry."

Jack squeezed John's hand. _God, that poor kid._

"Sorry," John said. "I'm supposed to be cheering you up."

"It's okay."

"Captain," Wash's voice said over the intercom, "We've closed half the distance."

John flipped open his VM. "Copy that, Wash. Be with you in a moment." He put one arm around Jack and kissed his temple lightly. "Duty calls, comrade. On with the mission, eh?"

"Yeah." Jack let John help him up and they headed back to the bridge together.

* * *

><p>"At this rate, we'll be in firing range within the hour," John told his company, speaking into his VM to communicate with the other ships as well. "They probably won't run from us—our ships are made to look unimpressive while packing a lot of firepower. They're scavengers. They'll see us as dinner."<p>

"And a movie," Jack muttered to no one in particular. He saw that John almost smiled, but managed to maintain his authoritative composure.

"The thing I'm looking for," John went on, "will be somewhere safe in the heart of the ship—or on the largest ship, if there's more than one. So concentrate on taking out their weaponry, but don't destroy the object if at all possible. I'm sorry I can't tell you what it looks like. It might look like anything. Might even be the ship itself. So try for high accuracy and minimal damage. Also keep in mind that there might be hostages onboard. Anyone asking for help should be rescued if possible. The Reavers won't speak, so you needn't worry about that sort of trickery.

"The _Javelin_ is the largest and best shielded, so we'll lead the attack; the rest of you try to circle round and attack them from the sides and behind. Once we're sure their external weapons are useless, we'll take a casualty assessment before I issue new instructions for boarding. Any questions?"

_He's come a long way,_ Jack realized. _He must really want to do this; he actually put his heart into it._ He looked around and found Gray. His brother seemed to be staring through John, through the hull of the ship. His eyes were hard and cold. _At least there's one thing we can agree on—we both want to kill those monsters. Maybe if we take a few out together, it will break some of the ice between us._

* * *

><p>Everything was ready. All weapons were loaded or sharpened. The crew was alert.<p>

Jack took John's VM to the empty captain's quarters to talk to the Master.

"This is it, then," the Master said.

"Looks like it. We're closing in."

"What do you think of your chances?"

"From our readings, they have four ships. We have six. So we've definitely got them on maneuverability. No telling how many life forms are inside, though. Maybe we can tell when we're closer. But the time travel device… we were wondering if it could be a Tardis." Jack watched closely for the Master's reaction.

"Could it? No; that's impossible. The Doctor and I are the only survivors—he said so himself."

"It's not you, is it?"

"Me? Don't be silly; I'm right here."

"Yeah, but maybe you won't be later. Maybe it's you in the future."

"Jack… it's nothing to do with me. From the sound of them, I never want to see those wretched beasties up close. Come on, I wouldn't lie to you."

_If it is him, he's done a very good job covering._ "Okay, I'll take your word for now. How's the secret project?"

The Master grinned. "Excellent. I'm sure it's going to work now. Can't wait to show you. Doctor-woctor's going to be so surprised."

Jack snickered. "I hope you mean surprised in a good way."

"So do I."

John opened the door and stuck his head into the room. "Jack, I need my VM back, please."

"Okay," said Jack. "Master, I've got to go. I'll try to call you as soon as it's over. Make sure you're ready for me when I get back—I'm going to need some serious attention."

"Copy that, Captain," the Master replied brightly. "Does that mean you've still been faithful to me, you sweetheart?"

"So far, so good."

"Well, battle gives a man an appetite, so I'll understand if you lose your resolve."

Jack shook his head. _He really is leaving the door wide open for me. Maybe he's had second thoughts about our relationship and wants an easy way out…_ "Goodbye, Tiger."

"Okay, love. Try not to get killed too much."

* * *

><p>"Switch us to frequency oh-four hundred," John instructed. "I'll send a text message to the other ship computers to switch them over, too."<p>

Mal obliged as the others covered their ears to block out the Reavers' screeches and growls coming in over the coms.

"Wait," said Gray.

John turned to him questioningly.

"Switch it back for a minute."

At John's nod, Mal put the receiver back on the original frequency. Again they heard the grating sounds of the Reavers communicating.

"Why can't we understand them?" Jack asked the Doctor. We've been traveling in the Tardis—shouldn't it translate?"

"It's not a real language," the Doctor answered. "It's broken bits of a dozen languages mixed with primal grunts and… just whatever. The Tardis doesn't automatically crack codes for me either, and that's basically what this is. I don't understand it either."

"I do," Gray said quietly. "You're right: It's not a real language. I never tried to understand much of it, but after so many years, you pick things up anyway."

"Can you tell us what they're saying?" John asked eagerly.

"They're discussing whether or not to attack us. Now they're getting organized. One ship to face us head-on, two to flank us and one in reserve. They think they've got us at a strong disadvantage in power."

"Have they?"

"I don't know. But there are hundreds of Reavers in those ships. The device you're looking for is in the reserve ship."

"You're sure?"

Gray nodded.

"Okay, make the switch, Mal." John used his VM to let the other ships know which frequency to use. "This is Captain Hart, all ships check in."

One by one, the ship leaders reported that they could hear.

"We know something of their attack plan now, and ours doesn't need to change except in one respect. We know that the device we need to retrieve will be on the ship that hangs back from the others. So there's no need to hold back on the ones that attack—blow them away completely if at all possible."

"What if there are hostages on the attacking ships?" the Doctor asked with concern.

"They'd thank us for a quick end," said Mal.

"But you can't do that!"

"He's right, Doctor," said Gray. "I wanted nothing more than to die when I was with them."

"You're all human beings, aren't you? Don't you believe in the sanctity of your own lives?"

The others looked at each other in grim silence until Jayne said, "What's sanctity mean again?"

"We don't have time for this," said Mal.

"Right," John agreed. "Everyone to your stations. Let's go!"

Mal, Jack, Jayne and Jora were designated gunners with John, Zoe and April ready to take over if needed.

"Jack," the Doctor said, grabbing his arm as he went by. "Don't shoot to kill."

Jack rolled his eyes. "This is war, Doctor. The Reavers can't be reasoned with."

"What's your problem, anyway?" Jora asked, genuine puzzlement plain on her face.

"I don't approve of killing unless there's no alternative," the Doctor told her. "It's time you understood that."

Jora continued on her way, looking more confused than ever.

Jack took up his position and waited for John's command. _Back on a mission with John. Like old times. _But there was more at stake now. It wasn't just the two of them taking risks for the thrill of it. The Doctor and Gray were onboard, and this was a mission they had volunteered for, for the good of their fellowman. _So different._

He could see the Reaver ship looming ahead of them now, and he soberly took up his controls. As they came closer, he could make out strange shapes on the prows of the vessels, standing out black against the dull red hull. Slowly, the shapes became familiar and then unmistakable: human skeletal remains.

"Fire at will!" John called over the coms.

Jack put away all thoughts of the Doctor's advice. "This is for my brother," he said as he locked on his target and fired.

* * *

><p><em>And that's a wrap. Hope you enjoyed and I'll try not to keep you in suspense too long. Tell me what you think of this section, please. :)<br>_


	27. Space Battle

_We hit 50 reviews! Thanks everyone!  
><em>

_Here's your action-adventure section... with a little soap opera thrown in. :p_

Nothing new and shocking; you'll be okay. ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-seven: Space Battle

* * *

><p>The Doctor watched the battle unfold in front of him. The two flanking Reaver ships were small, making them both weaker in firepower capacity and less vulnerable as small, moving targets. Both sides were sustaining damage.<p>

He closed his eyes and waited, trying to shut out the memories of the scores of battles he had seen too close. Then he felt a hand slip into his. He was surprised to find Zoe at his side.

"You all right?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm always all right."

"I guess there's just something in the air in here," she said, nodding at him to indicate the tears standing in his eyes.

The Doctor looked out the front of the cockpit again as a blast from the _Javelin_ shook the largest attacking ship. "They're human beings. They've lost their minds, reverted to an animalistic state, but they were real people. And something in me can't help mourning them."

"You're an unusual person, Doctor."

"I've been called worse."

Suddenly the ship lurched and the Doctor had to support himself against the wall to keep from falling to the floor. He could see a section of the control panel flashing an alert.

"It's the rudder," Wash reported. "They've severely crippled her."

"How are our gunning stations?" asked John.

"Okay so far. We can shoot just fine; we just can't steer."

"Can we repair it?" the Doctor asked.

"Depends on how bad it is. Someone will need to go to the engine room and get into the panel under the floor… God, I wish Kaylee were here."

"I'll go," the Doctor said instantly, wanting to make himself useful.

"You'll need a suit; the Engine room sealed itself to keep our air in because there's a breach to the outside. Once you're in there, you'd better cable yourself to the ship, too, just in case."

"Right." The Doctor took off down the passage. When he got to the place where the space suits were stored, he realized he wasn't alone. He looked back to see Gray standing behind him.

"I'm good with engines and crap," Gray explained. "Let me come."

After only a moment's hesitation, the Doctor pulled a suit from the case and handed it to Gray. "All right; I expect you to take orders from me, though. Let's go."

They donned the suits quickly and continued on to the engine room. The door refused to open.

"We'll need an override code," said Gray.

The Doctor ignored that and took his sonic screwdriver to it. The door slid back. "Inside, quick."

Gray did as he was told and the Doctor followed, closing the door behind them.

"Gray and I are inside," the Doctor reported. "Oh… nearly weightless in here."

"There's a cable box across from the main turbines," Wash told him. "Should be bright blue."

"Got it." The Doctor made his way along the wall, opened the box and paid out two lines of cable. He and Gray secured them to the belts on their suits. "Okay, we're set."

As another blast rocked the ship, they grasped at the handles built into the walls to keep from flying across the room.

"Go to the back and you'll see a panel with some coding on it—there'll be an R somewhere."

"Forty-one R?" the Doctor suggested, reading the first that caught his eye.

"That's it. You'll need to pry it up with something. Should be a maintenance kit in a green container…"

Gray found the kit and selected a small pry bar. The Doctor was glad for Gray's physical strength; soon the panel was open.

"It's hot," Gray commented, setting the panel aside. It slid around lightly on the floor.

"Okay, I can see the hole," the Doctor reported. "It's huge! Like the size of a football. Only with cracks going out from it…"

"A football?" came Wash's voice. "That's not too bad."

John interrupted, "Think American, Doctor. I think you mean a soccer ball."

"Right, I knew that."

"Okay, each outer panel is double-layered," Wash continued. "That way you can cover a breach by sliding over the outside layer of an adjacent panel. Make sense?"

"Think so."

"Okay, you'll have to reach through and pull one over. Then we'll need to caulk it with the sealant from the repair kit…"

The Doctor and Gray followed Wash's careful instructions as the battle went on around them and the _Javelin _continued to drift.

"Done," the Doctor reported.

"Okay, I'm going to bring the pressure back to normal," said Wash. "Stand by until I say it's all right to remove your helmets."

"Now, what's this about a rudder? I don't see anything in here that looks remotely like one."

"It's a spaceship, Doc. It's not going to look like the rudder on a sea-ship. We just call 'em that…"

"Please, don't call me Doc."

Gray smirked.

They felt their normal weight returning as the synthetic gravity took effect.

"Okay, pressure's holding. You can take off your helmets."

"Thank goodness for that." The Doctor pulled his helmet off. "Now what?"

"The ion thrusters are designed to come apart on impact—that way they can be reattached. Does anything look broken to you, or just disconnected?"

"Okay, there's some tubing here that seems to belong coupled to these pistons…"

"That's it. Read the numbers to me and I'll help you match them up."

"It's so quiet," the Doctor realized as he snapped the couplings back into place.

"The Reavers know we're out of control, so they're saving us for last," said Gray. "They'll wipe out the others first."

Concerned, the Doctor asked, "Wash, what's going on up there?"

"Just concentrate on your task there, Doctor. There should be two left."

The Doctor read the serial numbers off and Wash helped him match the tubes to the proper pistons.

"We're replacing the panel," said Gray. "Wow, it's heavy now."

"Standing by."

At last, the panel was back in place and the Doctor and Gray were back outside the engine room.

"That's it," said the Doctor. "Is it all right?"

"Testing now," said Wash. Moments later, he said, "Good work, crew. All functions reading normal."

"Oh, brilliant." The Doctor enthusiastically thumped Gray's shoulder. _Oh. That mightn't have been a good idea…_

But Gray looked content rather than annoyed. "Good work," he said.

"You, too. Thanks for your help."

They shed the spacesuits and hurried back to the cockpit.

"What's our status?" the Doctor asked as they burst inside. "How are the other ships?"

"They've all sustained damage. Two destroyed completely," John reported grimly.

"Completely?" the Doctor couldn't hide his shock. "But… were the people able to get out?"

John shook his head. "No survivors, I'm afraid. I underestimated them."

"What about their ships?" Gray asked, meaning the Reavers.

"They've lost the two smaller ones. Their main attack ship is damaged."

"And we're about to blow it away," Wash added, piloting the recovered _Javelin_ back toward their target at top speed. "Take 'em out, Mal!"

Before he could even think about protesting, the Doctor had to shield his eyes against a blazing white explosion. In a moment it was gone, choked out in the vacuum of space.

"Well done," said John. He spoke into his VM. "This is Captain Hart. All ships report in."

Only two responded, one reporting damage to its fuel cells and the other crippled beyond repair; several of its crew had been sucked out of the ship before the damaged area could be sealed off.

"Okay, we're going to get you all aboard the _Javelin,_" John decided. "They're down to their last ship as well, and I don't think it's very well armed."

When all the survivors were accounted for, the _Javelin_ was carrying twenty-two people, three of them not fit for fighting.

"We'll go on if you think we've got a chance," Ramsdell, captain of one of the other ships, told John.

John looked to Gray. "How many of them do you think are on the last ship?"

Gray shook his head. "I don't know. A lot, though. I'd guess at least a couple dozen—maybe fifty."

"Hostages?"

"There's always a hostage or five."

John went to the transmitter. "Let's see if you can tell us anything else." He tuned in the Reavers' communications.

Everyone kept still in the eerie sound of their enemies conversing. Gray closed his eyes in concentration.

"They're getting ready for us. They're planning to let us board. I can't tell how many there are, but…" Gray fell silent for a while. Then he opened his eyes. "That device you're looking for—it's in three parts. On part is hard for them to move, so they're leaving it where it is. The second part is going to be used as bait to get us in a vulnerable position. The third part is going to be kept in a safe place."

"All right, let's prepare to board."

"Wait," said Jayne, "we're gonna walk right into their trap?"

"There's a difference between walking into a trap and jumping into a trap. We know it's there. I won't order anyone to go, but anyone who's coming with me, get ready."

The volunteers dispersed.

The Doctor approached Jack. "Are you going?"

"Of course, I'm going. Aren't you?"

"Yes. You'll be all right and not lose your head?"

Jack took the Doctor's face in his hands. "Maybe you should have given me an extra one of those. I'll be all right, though. Just keep yourself out of danger, okay?"

"So," Gray said to John, "do I get a gun?"

Jack whirled around. "You're staying here."

Gray turned a bitter cold glare on Jack. "Oh, no, I'm not. Don't you dare try to take this from me, too."

"I need you to stay safe."

"I don't want to be safe!" Gray was visibly shaking. "Let me go, damn you! I hate you!"

John put his arms around Gray and held him loosely. "Easy, Gray…"

"I hate you!" Gray shouted again.

The Doctor took Jack by the arm and began leading him away, back toward the barracks. "Come on. Leave him for now."

Jack resisted at first, but then he let the Doctor tug him along.

"Just let John talk to him," the Doctor said.

"I can't let him near them," Jack said faintly. "I can't let them touch him again."

"This is what we've been working toward. It's what Gray's been looking forward to since we left the Tardis. I don't think he's going to find peace until he's able to face the people who tortured him. To see that they're human after all and that they're not invincible."

Jack stopped, taking the Doctor by the arms. "What if they kill him this time? I can't live without him, Doctor—not forever! Oh, god…"

The Doctor embraced his friend and neither of them spoke for a while. He pressed his face against Jack's neck and rubbed his back. Finally, he said, "You can't keep him locked up in a safe. He's got to be allowed to make some choices for himself."

Jack held on to the Doctor, hot tears finding their way down onto the Timelord's collar. "What if he chooses death?"

* * *

><p>"I don't know whether you should face them or not," John told Gray as they entered the captain's cabin. "But either way, I'm not going to leave you defenseless." He went to the small closet and took out a machete. "This one's been useful to me more than once. Keep that by you. And this…" he found his knife in a drawer "… is my very favorite knife. Found it in a bar in the wall by my head one night. Think someone was subtly asking me to leave. It's good for close work."<p>

Gray accepted the blades and hung them from his belt in their scabbards. "You have to let me come."

"It's not up to me."

"It shouldn't be up to him! This is your expedition anyway. You shouldn't let him stop me."

"He's just afraid of those devils getting their hands on you again." John put his hands on Gray's shoulders. "I know you don't believe it, but he really loves you."

Gray frowned and looked away.

_It's like there's something alive inside his mind that shoots down any sensible ideas before they can do any good…_ John pulled Gray slowly toward himself, keeping an eye out for signs that he resented the action.

Gray allowed himself to be held; then he returned the embrace and gave John's neck an open-mouthed kiss.

"Easy," John said, pulling away slightly.

Gray kissed John's mouth.

_Oh… crap._ John tried to push Gray away, but for some reason his hands and arms wouldn't cooperate. They were pulling Gray closer instead…

"John, do you copy?"

It was Jack's voice—the one thing that would never fail to arrest his attention. John extricated himself from Gray's grasp and opened his VM. "What is it?"

"Are you still with Gray?"

"…Yes."

"Would you tell him I'll let him go with us if I can talk to him first?"

After a confirming look, John answered, "All right; you can use my room. That's where we are now."

When John closed his wrist strap again Gray said, "Don't leave."

"I think Jack will want some privacy."

"So do I. But please, don't leave me alone with him."

"He won't hurt you—"

"I don't care what you think. Just don't go."

Seeing that Gray would never be satisfied otherwise, John gave in. "All right. But you've nothing to worry about; I promise."

Jack arrived moments later. He looked questioningly at John.

"He wants me to stay," John explained. "I'll keep out of hearing if you want."

"It's okay." Jack went to where Gray was standing with his back to the wall, one hand on John's knife at his belt.

"Don't touch me," Gray said flatly.

_You don't really have the right to ask that,_ John thought grimly to himself. _Not after what you did to Jack._

Jack held his hands up in a calming gesture. "Okay; relax." He sighed. "I need you to understand. I don't want you anywhere near those monsters because I can't take the risk of them hurting you again."

"You said you'd let me go."

"I know, and I will. But I'm not letting you out of my sight. You have to stay with the rest of us and not go off by yourself. The only reason I'm even considering this is because I know you want it so badly. I think you might need this."

John waited tensely. He watched Gray's face, but there was no change. He was still cold and hard.

"Just remember," Jack went on, "I will die for you—as many times as it takes—to keep you safe. Because I love you… so much."

After a moment, Gray said, "Pretty good. You could have practiced it a couple more times, but you're getting there, poster boy."

_Ouch,_ thought John, wincing.

"Will you stay with us?" Jack pressed, apparently ignoring Gray's sarcasm.

"I'll stay in sight. Just don't get distracted and screw up the whole thing."

The silence stretched out between them and John knew Jack wanted desperately to hold Gray, to wish him good luck and tell him goodbye like a soldier. But instead Jack backed away slowly, then turned and left the room.

"That was a bit harsh, don't you think?"

Gray unsheathed the machete and swung it experimentally. "No. I think I was pretty generous. I heard him out and I didn't kill him—not even once."

John rolled his eyes. Then he refocused on Gray as the younger man practiced turning the blade back and forth. "Ever thought about taking up fencing?"

"No," Gray said with a laugh. "Guns are so much better."

"Swords are more elegant, though," John pointed out, patting the hilt of his Korean sword. "I wish I'd thought of it sooner—I could have given you some lessons."

"I already know how to hack people up—saw plenty of that. The Reavers let us watch a butchering now and then."

"No doubt. But tell me: Did they look good doing it?"

"No. They never looked good."

"Precisely." John drew his sword and approached Gray warily. "Come on, have a go."

"This thing's not as long as yours," Gray complained.

For once John resisted the urge to deliver a dirty joke. "Okay; swap." He tossed the sword hilt in an arc and expertly caught the tip between his fingers, holding the sword out to Gray.

Gray accepted and handed the machete to John. Without pausing, he pulled the sword back and brought it down toward John's neck. John brought the machete up and blocked Gray's attack easily.

Next, Gray lunged at John, attempting a direct stab through his chest. John took a minute step to the side and parried the blade away.

Gray tried a series of feinted attacks, but John anticipated him and their blades met crossed in front of them. Gray leaned forward between the blades and kissed John intensely.

John dropped the machete to the side and pulled Gray closer. He was relishing the sensation of Gray's tongue wrestling with his own when a thought struck him. _Jack is going to kill me. He really will._ Still, he found himself caressing Gray's shoulders and felt Gray's hands working under his shirt. _Oh, not good. Bad. Quite bad. But so nice…_

Gray worked his mouth over John's jaw and down to his neck.

"Gray," John gasped, slowly managing to force a little distance between them. "This is a really bad time."

"Why?" Gray slid his hands down over John's hips.

"Mm… because we're about to board the bloody Reaver ship. And Jack's going to be along and heavily armed, and if he thinks anything happened…"

"Tell him I raped you."

_Tempting. I'd get such sympathy… No! What am I thinking? _"Gray, please." John stepped back and stroked Gray's face apologetically. "Not now. I need to see this mission through."

Gray retrieved the discarded weapons and handed the sword back to John. "Maybe when this is over you can give me another lesson," he suggested.

"Maybe so."

* * *

><p>Captain Ramsdell and five of his men joined the <em>Javelin's<em> crew in preparation to board the Reaver ship. John's ship had docked at the main door without any resistance from the Reavers.

There were sixteen of them going in. The Doctor looked around at the brave human beings and felt something hot and excited in his stomach. Something like pride and fear and eagerness all mixed together.

"We could be outnumbered three to one," John told them. "I believe we have superior weapons, but we shouldn't count on that. Remember, if they catch you, they won't stop at killing you. They won't start there, either. No one who runs from these people will be thought a coward. When you see them, shoot to kill. They won't show us that much mercy.

"Remember to keep an eye out for some sort of mechanical or electronic device. We believe it will be in three pieces hidden throughout the ship. Don't worry about defending them—the Reavers will want them kept safe as much as we do. But mark where they are so we can recover them in the end.

"If you find hostages that you can free quickly without putting yourself in too much danger, feel free to do so; just remember that they may well be out of their minds and probably in no condition to help us in return."

John put one arm around Gray's shoulders and the other around Jack's. Jack returned the gesture and put his free arm around the Doctor. The others followed suit until the small army was one connected circle.

"This is for the good of the galaxy," John said. "A reckoning for the past and protection for the future. I'm asking you not as soldiers, but as human beings: Do your duty."

_Not bad on the Rousing Speeches scale,_ the Doctor thought. _I wouldn't have thought John to be so eloquent._

"Nice speech," Jack told John quietly as they stood in the airlock.

"Took me half the trip to get it right," John replied. "Glad it came out okay."

The Doctor smiled and shook his head.

* * *

><p><em>omg, what's going to happen? xD<br>_


	28. Ambush

_Mostly just violence and "frightening images" in this chapter. Also you may be a little freaked out so I tried to put in some grim humor for you at the end. xD It's a nasty cliff-hanger._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-eight: Ambush_  
><em>

* * *

><p>Zoe kissed Wash, April kissed John… Jack looked around and spotted Mal nearby.<p>

"Good luck, partner." Jack kissed Mal full on the lips.

Mal shoved him back roughly. "What do you think you're doing? Keep the hell away from me!"

John laughed quietly. "All right, everyone. Here we go." He opened the airlock and used his VM to signal the doors of the Reaver ship.

The doors slid back to reveal dark metal walls. There was no sign of any living person, though some darker patches suggested that blood had been spilled or smeared over the rough surfaces many times over the years.

Jack watched Gray uneasily. His brother didn't hesitate to follow John forward. _Well, he looks calmer than most of us. I hope that's a good thing._

"Where are they?" Jayne wondered aloud.

"They're waiting for us to get farther from the exit," Gray answered. "Someone will probably break ranks, though."

They moved slowly down the passageway, pausing at every door.

As John led them toward a doorway that led to a more open area, Gray said, "Hold on a minute."

John looked back at him. "What is it?"

"I'm not sure, but I think I've been in this ship before. If I'm right, then this room up here would be a great place to ambush us. There are lots of doors off the sides. They'll wait until we're most of the way through and then surround us."

John glanced into the room ahead. "Looks like you may be right. So, how do we foil them?"

"We get just inside and stand around talking until they get tired of waiting. It shouldn't take long."

Ramsdell and Mal nodded in approval.

"Okay, Gray, you and the Doctor stick to the back," John instructed. "Doctor, didn't you bring any kind of weapon?"

"My sonic screwdriver," the Doctor said, a little defensively, Jack thought.

John rolled his eyes. "Great. You can blind them with the scary blue light."

"Don't diss the sonic."

Jack would have laughed if their situation hadn't been so serious. He took a place at John's right and they advanced until everyone was in the larger room. The metal walls and floor and even the ceiling bore the same dark stains. Three doors opened off each side and another stood at the far end of the room. John checked his two pistols and Jack made sure his handgun and rifle were both ready. Around him he heard the other members of the party doing the same—he even heard the sonic screwdriver buzzing.

"There are a lot of life forms here," the Doctor muttered. "Seem to all be human…"

"I should hope so," said Zoe. "This would not be a good time to discover alien life."

Jack smiled a little to himself, remembering that the people of this time had stopped believing in the alien contact they had had in the past. He wondered what Zoe would say if she found out the Doctor wasn't human.

"Okay," said John. "I'm ready for something to happen."

"It will," Gray assured him.

Then they heard a voice drift out to them from the passage ahead. "Hallo! Is anyone there?"

The invaders looked at each other uncertainly.

"This is Captain John Hart—who are you?"

"How many men do you have, Captain?"

"Probably oughtn't shout our numbers for the whole place to hear," John muttered.

"Even if they understood, it wouldn't change their strategy one way or the other," said Gray. "We'd have to have only five or over fifty to really influence them."

"There are sixteen of us," John called.

"Get out, Captain! Get your men out of here! You haven't a chance!"

"Impossible odds?" John arched an eyebrow at Jack.

Jack felt the fight drive rising in the pit of his stomach. He also felt the urge to kiss John, but he contained it.

"Bring it on!" John shouted melodramatically.

In answer, dark forms began pouring from the doors at the sides of the room. They were the ugliest, most frightening creatures Jack had ever seen—and he had seen some horrible ones. They wore ragged tunics made of skins, their hair was long and lank (and probably louse-ridden), and blood covered their bodies—possibly their own, judging by the pieces of metal shoved in at random places.

Jack barely had time to remind himself to fight and not run before Jayne fired the first shot and the battle began. As bullets and energy pulses took out the first wave, more Reavers took their places. Slowly the tide crept closer to the intruders as the Reavers used each other as shields to get closer. Finally, Jack dropped his rifle, since it was no longer practical in such close quarters and continued the fight with his pistol and a long knife.

The fallen Reavers who were not killed instantly pulled themselves along the floor, still trying to get at their prey. Zoe peppered the floor with bullets as the others continued to take down their battle-crazed foes.

One Reaver broke through the outer line to be taken out by Gray and Ramsdell's men. Then another got through, and another… but Just as Jack began to fear that they would be overwhelmed, he saw that the flow of enemies had stopped. The noise slowly died down.

Jack turned toward the only noise left—a steady hacking and the Doctor's voice above it.

"Gray, stop!" The Doctor was trying to pull Gray away from the Reaver he was mutilating with a machete.

"Let me go," Gray protested.

John pushed his way over to Gray and took him by the shoulders. "Gray, it's dead. Leave it."

"I know him," Gray said heavily, not taking his eyes off the Reaver. "He was one of my keepers. He tortured me and raped me and forced me to eat…"

"Shh." John pulled Gray into a hug. "He's dead. He'll never hurt you again."

Jack felt tears running down his face. _I should be holding him. I can't do anything to help._ Gray seemed beyond caring what the others thought, but Jack felt a little embarrassed on his behalf. The others stood in awkward silence.

"Come on," John said. "Let's go on."

Gray stooped down and tore a metal ring from the Reaver's arm. He forced it over his own wrist, leaving deep scratches.

"Careful," John exclaimed. "They're probably carrying a million diseases." He looked down at his own arm where he had sustained a cut from a Reaver blade. "Oh… shit."

Jack saw that John's arm wasn't badly wounded—his VM had taken the worst of the blow. "Does it still work?"

"Uh… sort of… not. Not really. Not the most important functions. Damn. How's everyone else?"

There were only minor injuries, so John instructed everyone to reload and move on.

They went to the far end of the room and Jack could see the man who had called to them chained at the far end of an even larger room beyond the passage.

"Go back, Captain!" the man shouted.

"It's all right," John called to him as they proceeded. "We've stamped them out. We'll come and free you."

"No," the man said urgently. "That wasn't half of them! There are more, lots more."

John led them into the larger room and the party halted just inside as they had the last time. "We've got to stop them for good; we're not quitting now."

Jack saw that the man looked young; perhaps in his late twenties or early thirties. His hair was long and dark red-brown. He was clothed in dark rags that had been knotted in many places to keep them together.

"You don't understand," the man tried again. "You're far outnumbered! You'll all be killed."

"Well the least we can do is take you with us," John reasoned, taking a step forward.

"Stop! They wanted you to come in here—that's why they chained me here. I'm the bait to lure you in."

John hesitated.

_The bait?_ Jack thought. _Gray said the time travel device was in three parts, and one of them was going to be the bait._ He looked around, but saw nothing in the room besides the man, his chains, and other empty chains around the room. _Does he have it on him somewhere? Or is it the man himself?_

"We can't leave him," the Doctor said firmly. "Anyone can see the man's still sane and lucid—as you said, John: We must do our duty."

"Let's do it," Gray agreed.

"If we all go to that end of the room, we'll be cut off from the exit," Jack pointed out. "Let's split up so we have a better chance."

"Okay," said John. "You and I will go—anyone else?"

"I will," the Doctor said immediately.

"You're not armed."

"I'll take my chances."

"I'll go, too," said Jora.

"And me," said Mal.

"Okay. The five of us. The rest of you hold this position."

"You'll all be killed," the stranger protested.

"When I give the word," said John. "Ready—go!"

They sprinted across the room and reached the prisoner before there was any sign of the Reavers. John shot the chain attached to one of the man's wrists while the Doctor took his sonic screwdriver to the other. Jack, Mal and Zoe stood guard around them. The chains fell away as a Reaver shriek split the air.

Then the room began to fill. John and the Doctor took the prisoner's arms and pulled him back across the room while the others fended off their attackers.

Jack again used his rapid-firing rifle until it became impractical and then switched to his less cumbersome weapons. He heard shouts and screams from all sides. His group finally rejoined the others, but they were in a bad position and obviously outnumbered.

"Look out," Mal shouted to Zoe.

Zoe turned to see more Reavers approaching from the way they had come. She and Wash jumped into the doorway to protect their backs.

Then Jack realized that Jora had been badly injured in their fight back to the main group. John was lowering her to the floor next to one of Ramsdell's men who appeared to be dead.

"I've got her," the Doctor said, taking Jora from John.

John wasted no time getting back to the fight. Gray and Jayne moved up to the front line as Jack fell back to reload.

Jack could hear Jora speaking between gasps as he crouched near her.

"You weren't a soldier at all, were you?" she asked the Doctor.

"No. I've never been near the _Serenity Valley_ either."

"How long have you known?"

Jack looked back at them in puzzlement.

"Not for sure until today," the Doctor answered her, "though I had my suspicions."

"I'm glad you're all right. And I'm sorry." Jora closed her eyes in pain. "You won't let them get me alive, will you?"

The Doctor brushed her hair out of her face. He looked deeply saddened and unable to speak.

"We won't," Jack assured her. _She's the one who poisoned the wine. She thought the Doctor was a Browncoat… she must have lost someone very dear to her in the Battle of Serenity Valley. _He gave her arm a squeeze and jumped up to resume the fight.

Though dead Reavers were starting to pile up all around them, more kept coming. Jack could hear their rescue-e lamenting…

"You'll never make it out of here… should never have come…"

"Will you shut up and get down before you get yourself killed?" Jack said with annoyance.

"They won't kill me, more's the pity. They need me alive."

_He's right, though—at this rate we'll run out of ammunition before they run out of manpower._ Jack looked at Gray, who was fighting the Reavers fiercely, but beginning to tire. _I can't let them get their hands on him again. No matter what happens, they can't take him._ He stepped back long enough to retrieve Jora's abandoned gun and held it out to Gray.

Gray hesitated only a moment before taking the gun and turning it on the Reavers.

Wash had been hurt—Mal took his place at the back with Zoe. Ramsdell was also wounded. The Reavers kept coming.

_What is driving them? They seem insane, but they're able to pilot ships and organize attacks… what makes them so hateful and so hungry to consume other humans?_

"How much ammunition do we have?" John shouted over the melee.

"I've got a dozen rounds," Zoe reported.

"Same," said Mal.

The others reported as they were able. Ammunition was draining fast.

_They're all going to die here, _Jack thought grimly._ And I'll be stuck with them forever…_

"We've got to fall back to the ship; it's our only chance," the Doctor said. He ducked as a long metal pole narrowly missed him and fell to the floor with a clang.

Jack knew John hated to admit defeat when they were so close, but he was inclined to agree with the Doctor.

"You won't make it, I tell you," the prisoner told them. "Even if you could get that far, they'd follow you onto your ship."

John swore and opened his damaged VM. "Garves, can you hear me? Come in!" He held the VM to his ear, waiting for an answer from the _Javelin._

Jack moved back and crouched by the Doctor.

"She's dead," the Doctor said. He brushed his hand over Jora's eyes, closing them.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I'm starting to think that nut-case is right: We don't have a chance."

"Don't say that."

"No, listen. All those Reavers want is blood and sex, and I've got an unlimited supply of both."

"We won't let them get you. We're all leaving here together," the Doctor said firmly.

"No, I think the best thing is if you _do_ let them get me."

"What?"

"You know—throw the baby to the wolves so you can get home safely…"

"Utter nonsense! I swore I wouldn't abandon you, and I'm not going to."

"Doctor, please." Jack knew that his friends were quickly running out of ammo. _How can I make him understand fast enough?_ "I can't let them get Gray again. I don't care what happens to me, but he's been through too much already. If we go right away, we can force our way back to the ship. Then you can get the doors closed while they're distracted with me. I need you to get Gray out of here safely."

"I'm not doing that! Once they realize you can come back to life, they'll have a field day with you…"

"It doesn't matter! Get him out. I know I can count on you to come back for me. If it's a few days or a few years, I know you'll come. I can't die, but the rest of you can, so just go!"

The Doctor stared at him, looking like he was feeling sick. "Jack… I just can't—"

"Do you love me?" Jack pleaded.

"Of course, I do."

"Get my brother out. _Please_."

The shots were becoming less frequent. John had switched to his sword as he continued trying to communicate with the men they had left on the ship.

The Doctor's dilemma was plain on his face. Suddenly he grabbed Jack and held him tightly. "Oh, god, Jack…"

"It'll be okay. I need you to help me sell the idea to John." Jack kissed the Doctor's neck.

"I will save you," the Doctor whispered in his ear. "Whatever happens, however long it takes me, I will save you, I swear."

"I know you will."

The Doctor pulled back slightly. "You're about to die." He kissed Jack's mouth with more passion than Jack had ever expected to get from the Timelord, but it wasn't at all arousing under the circumstances.

"God keep you."

"I love you. Take care of my coat for me." Jack pulled the Doctor to his feet and they approached John.

Jack took John's place in front with the last of his ammunition ready to fire. Behind him he heard the Doctor explaining the "strategy" that he and Jack had come up with "together." The strategy included forcing their way back to the ship, but the Doctor didn't mention leaving Jack behind.

In spite of the limited information, John guessed at the unspoken idea. "You're going to fall behind, aren't you?" he accused.

"It's me or all of us," Jack answered. "I need to keep Gray safe." He picked off the Reavers as they approached and then threw his empty gun at one.

"Please, don't do this. I saw what they did to Gray and the others—you don't even have death to relieve you."

"The Doctor will come back for me."

"In how long and with what army? Jack, I love you."

"Then save my brother. Get him and the Doctor out of here." Jack kissed John quickly. "We're out of time. We have to do this now. You're my partner. Salvage the mission and come back for me when you can."

Looking pained, John said, "Yes, sir." He looked around to see how many people he had left to command. "All right, everyone—we're falling back to the ship! Gray, Mal, with me in front! Doctor, you and April next. Everyone move _now!"_

Jack waited until he saw that Gray was in a relatively safe position with the Doctor near the front of the group. He held out his hands for April's gun as she passed him. "I'm bringing up the rear," he told her.

April nodded. There were tears on her face. "Give 'em hell for Jora."

"I will." He checked the ammo gauge. Five rounds. He and Jayne walked backward to defend their retreat.

The Reavers climbed over their dead companions with no signs of sorrow or even regret at their deaths.

When they got out into the other room, Jack nearly tripped on the pile of Reaver bodies. All the ammunition was gone and the party was fending the Reavers off with swords, knives and weapons discarded by the Reavers themselves.

Apparently John's communication had gotten through, because the _Javelin's_ doors opened when they approached.

Jack heard a screech as April was pulled out of the group. Abandoning all caution, he sprang to her side and hacked at the Reaver who had caught her. It released April to concentrate on Jack instead.

"Go!" Jack shouted. He felt dozens of hands grasping at him, pulling him away from the others. But then he saw that everyone had made it through the doors and they were closing, shutting out the shouts of his comrades.

Two Reavers slipped inside before the doors were completely shut, but Jack knew his friends would be able to handle that. _They got away. Thank God, they got away…_ He grimaced as pain washed over him, but nothing could destroy the relief he felt inside. Gray was safe.

"Take it easy," he grunted to his captors. "All you have to do is ask." His movement was limited, but he did his best to assist the Reavers in removing his clothes without tearing them. "God, you are the nastiest creatures I've ever done this for. And that includes the Raxacoricofallapatorian."

After that, he was unable to speak.

* * *

><p><em>AN: In case you didn't read "Saw You Next Year," it was in that story that I established the "no kissing unless one or both of us is about to die" rule. So that's why the Doctor had no qualms about initiating the kiss._

_Sorry to leave Jack in such an unsavory predicament, but I'll try to write more soon. Hope I conveyed the action okay; dialogue is so much easier to me. :p  
><em>


	29. Deathless

_Due to my cruel cliff-hanger last time, I rushed this one a bit._

_Spoilers: First Doctor adventures information here-if you don't care about watching the old (ancient lol) episodes, don't worry about it._

_Mature content: disturbing interaction between Jack and the Reavers—if that's going to bother you, just skip the last section._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Twenty-nine: Deathless_  
><em>

* * *

><p>As Gray drove John's knife through the last Reaver's heart, he caught a glimpse of the enemy ship through the closing doors. The Doctor saw Gray freeze on the spot. While everyone else checked over their wounds and counted their losses, Gray stood fixed.<p>

"He's still out there," Gray said quietly.

The Doctor held his breath, wondering what Gray thought—if he was glad or upset.

"Wash, will you be okay to take us out?" John asked.

"Yeah, I got it. I can fly under any conditions other than death." Wash got up with Mal's help and they headed for the cockpit. The rest of the crew dispersed, leaving John with Gray, the Doctor and the prisoner they had rescued.

"You can't leave him there," Gray said, turning to John.

"We have to," John said. "We don't have the manpower to get him out. We'll come back for him."

"Come back? What if they time-jump? We'll never find him." Gray's voice was rising in pitch and volume.

"Gray, calm down."

"Calm down! You left him!"

The ship resonated with the sound of the docking units releasing the _Javelin _from the Reaver ship.

"We can't leave," Gray said urgently. "Take us back! John, he can't die!"

John went to Gray and took him gently by the shoulders, but Gray pulled away.

"You son of a bitch! He can't die! How can you do this? When they find out he doesn't stay dead, he's all they'll pay attention to. They'll kill him over and over again…"

John again tried to physically restrain Gray and got punched in the face for his trouble.

"Take us back, you bastard!"

"Um, if it would help," the prisoner piped up cautiously, "they won't be able to time travel."

John rubbed his nose in pain and looked at his hand to search for blood. "We can't go back. I don't like it any more than you do…" he approached Gray again.

Gray grabbed John by the collar and held the knife to his throat. "You can't leave someone who can't die in a place like that. So take us back now." His voice was low and cold. "I don't want to hurt you, but I will. You know I will."

The Doctor backed toward the passageway, unsure what to do. He could find someone to help, but that might take too long…

"All right," the stranger said appeasingly, "We'll go back, won't we captain? Let's not quarrel amongst ourselves…" He moved slowly up to Gray until he was close and then made a grab for the knife.

Gray turned on the stranger and pulled the knife back to attack him, but John grabbed his wrist.

"No, Gray! I know it's horrible, but Jack told me to leave him behind. He did it to make sure that you got away safely." John put his arms tightly around Gray. "If I don't keep you safe now, it will all be a waste. We've got to get back where we can regroup and plan. We'll get him back, I promise."

Gray struggled for a moment and then dropped the knife. He collapsed against John. "You bastard," he sobbed. "I hate you." His legs seemed to give way under him and he and John sank to the floor.

John kissed his head and cradled it gently. "I'm sorry, Gray. I didn't want to leave him."

Gray didn't answer. He buried his face in John's shoulder and continued to cry.

Seeing that the danger seemed to have passed, the Doctor hurried down the hall until he came to a medical box on the wall. He took it from its case and went back to the others. "Better take care of your injuries," he said. "Don't want you getting infected."

"Thanks." John repositioned himself on the floor so he could hold on to Gray and open the medical kit at the same time.

The Doctor turned to the stranger, who was sitting against the ship's wall, resting. "Sorry, what did you mean when you said they couldn't time travel?"

"Because I'm here and they can't work it without me. That's the reason they kept me alive so long and didn't treat me as badly as the others."

"So, you're one of the necessary components for time travel—what are the other two? We know they used you as the bait, and there were two other things that they kept hidden from us."

"Those would be my ship and its key, I suppose."

The Doctor got an odd feeling in his chest. His hearts began beating faster. "Your ship… what sort of ship is it?"

"Well, it's…" The stranger looked hard at the Doctor. "It's just a ship for traveling through time… and relative dimensions…"

"Dimensions in space," the Doctor finished with him. He went to crouch in front of the stranger "Who are you?"

"They called you 'Doctor,' isn't that right? Doctor of what? Doctor who?"

"That's my name," he answered breathlessly. "Do you know me?"

"Oh, yes, Doctor. I never thought we'd meet again. Thought you must have been killed along with everyone else. They're all gone—couldn't find anyone. It's been such a long time. I've regenerated four or five times since you saw me. And you'll be glad to know I've learnt my lesson, too."

The Doctor gasped. "It is you! Dear God, it is you! That stupid meddling monk!"

The other Timelord smiled sheepishly. "Yes, I suppose it is. Forgive me?"

"Of course." The Doctor hugged him. "I can't believe it! How did you survive?"

"It was a near thing. A little quick thinking and a lot of luck. As for the time war… That was extremely tricky. And partly thanks to you, actually."

"Tell me." The Doctor sat beside him and kept a hand on his new friend's arm, fearing that if he let go completely, he might vanish.

"Well, I knew that if I wanted to do any more time meddling, sooner or later you'd come along to stop me again. So I set a trap for you. I intended to trap you in a time loop for all eternity. Then I could skip away and do as I pleased. Only trouble was, it wasn't you that fell into my trap."

"Good god!" John said, suddenly looking up. "No—it can't be!"

"Yes, Captain, I'm afraid it is."

"You're the Cloak!"

"Guilty."

"Jack and I were trapped in that time loop for five bloody years!"

"That long? Worked rather well, didn't it?"

"I don't know whether to shoot you or kiss you…"

"You can't shoot me; you're out of ammunition. Anyway, bit of a lark for you, wasn't it? Gardine, late summer…"

John still looked shocked. "Oh, I could just… god."

"But how did you escape the time war?" the Doctor prompted.

"Well, the captain here and his partner ended up destroying the time loop. The part of me that would have become involved in the time war was sucked back into the me that had been in Gardine for only a few days. The rest is less than a hazy memory now."

"We saved your life?" John asked incredulously. "Oh, that's rich. It's not fair."

"What is your proper name, though?" the Doctor asked. "You must have graduated after me."

"Yes. I called myself the 'Enterpriser.' Pretentious, I know. No one's ever really called me by it, though."

"It's a bit long."

"Let's just call him 'Meddler,'" John snarked.

"Wonder what in the world the Master will think of this," the Doctor pondered.

"The Master?" the Meddler exclaimed. "Is he alive, too? My, we're just springing from the woodwork, aren't we?"

"That's it, I'm afraid. You, me and the Master. Although… I don't like to let myself hope, but if you could survive, I suppose it's possible there may be others."

"Why not hope? Hope, I think, is a virtue. Kept me from going mad all these years, hoping someone would rescue me."

"You have a TARDIS," Gray said slowly. "You're the one who took the Reaver ship to my village."

"Not by choice," the Meddler said quickly. "I didn't take it anyplace in particular, either—just set the course at random and hoped they'd be satisfied with where we ended up. They killed me three times—had to regenerate. I didn't tell them I couldn't do it indefinitely…"

"Couldn't you take your TARDIS and escape?" asked John.

"No; they kept the key and always came inside with me. If I'd tried anything, they'd have tortured me." The Meddler pulled back his ragged sleeves to show a few scars on his arms. "I had loads worse than this before I regenerated last time."

"What, like these?" Gray lifted his shirt, revealing the hundreds of scars covering his body. "This happened to me because of you. And now they've got my brother because we decided to rescue you. We should just throw you off the ship and let you freeze in space, you screwed up piece of shit!"

John held Gray tighter as he began trying to get away again. "Gray, don't. We can't change what's happened now."

"It's his fault," Gray protested.

_Not Jack's fault anymore?_ the Doctor thought. _Is he finally coming to understand that?_

"I know. Stop this, now. Come here." John smothered Gray in another hug and the traumatized younger man quit struggling again. He very carefully reached around Gray to prepare a syringe from the medical kit. "Hold still now; this'll sting." He rolled back Gray's sleeve and administered the shot.

Gray didn't move. It was as if he didn't feel it at all.

"There you are; that should help." John rubbed Gray's arm and kissed his forehead.

Slowly, Gray began to relax. Then he went limp in John's arms.

John sighed in relief. "Okay, he'll be out for a couple of hours. Think I should strap him down so he doesn't do any damage when he comes to?"

"That might do more harm than good—he's probably been restrained a lot in his time," the Doctor pointed out. "I'll sit with him until he wakes. Best keep the Meddler away from him."

"I'll stay away," the Meddler promised, eyeing Gray warily. "It's terrible, what happened to him. So many people, killed and worse, but what was I to do?"

"All right. You don't hear me judging you, do you? Let's get Gray to the barracks."

* * *

><p>The Doctor held Gray's hand as he slowly came awake.<p>

"What happened?" Gray said faintly. "Where's Jack?"

"Still on the Reaver ship, I'm afraid. We're going back to Barcelona to plan his rescue."

"John sedated me, didn't he? Son of a bitch."

"He did it for your own good."

"Protecting that meddling bastard."

"Gray, I'm afraid you'll never manage to be happy again unless you can learn to forgive."

"He took the Reavers to my village and let them kill my father and neighbors to save his own skin."

"Any man's first inclination is to protect himself, whether he's human or Timelord. That's instinct. But a few brave people, like your brother, choose to protect others first. That's love."

Gray was silent a while. Slowly, he gripped the Doctor's hand tighter. "Doctor," he said faintly. "He was telling the truth, wasn't he? All those years he really did look for me… he did want me back?"

The Doctor felt his eyes prickling with tears. "Yes, Gray. Yes, he wanted you back." He squeezed Gray's hand in return.

"Does he really love me?"

"Yes. More than anything."

"Why? How could he love me now?" Gray breathed heavily and started to shake. "Oh, my god… I killed him. I raped him."

The Doctor leaned over and worked his arms under Gray until he was holding him securely. "Whatever you've done, you're still his brother."

"I don't deserve to be his brother. I don't deserve to live."

"Which of us does, in the end?"

"Doctor, I can't stand this. Kill me, please."

The Doctor closed his eyes. _Words. I need words. Where are they when I need them? _"That would hurt Jack worse than anything he's been through. Anyway, don't you think it's a bit selfish? For centuries, he's had to bear up under the guilt of losing you and now you can't bear up under the wrong you've done him? What Jack wants more than anything is to find you safe and sound when we get him back."

"He should hate me. Why doesn't he hate me?"

"Loves you too much. No room for anything else."

"I don't understand." Gray pulled the Doctor closer, as if afraid he would fall to his death if he let go.

The Doctor could feel deep tremors shaking Gray's body. "It's going to be hard. A long, hard road. But I know Jack will want to help you. So will I, if you'll let me."

"You should hate me, too. Do you?"

"No. You're my best friend's little brother. You're what he treasures more than anything else in the universe." _There go the words again, running away and hiding._ He kissed Gray's temple softly. "I'm going to look after you for him. And we'll rescue him together. I promise."

* * *

><p>Jack gasped as if he were literally sucking his life-force back into him. He looked around. Most of the Reavers had gone elsewhere; a few were dragging corpses away. His clothes were torn and scattered around the room and he was covered with blood. His right hand was chained to a ring in the floor. Three Reavers still crouched around him, watching him warily.<p>

"Oh, good morning, sunshine," Jack groaned sarcastically. Then he cringed as a Reaver lunged forward and stabbed his shoulder with a knife. "Oh, god. What was that for? I just said good morning…" He panted as the wound slowly closed by itself.

"So, I guess I don't regenerate… I'm actually a little disappointed."

Another Reaver slashed his chest.

"Ah—give it a rest, will you? How long have you been picking at me? Hours? Days? I haven't once tried to fight you—okay, so I did when you first caught me. But not since then. If this is how you treat your guests…"

The third Reaver snarled at the other two. The first made another move toward Jack, but the third pushed him away and slashed his arm with his curved blade. The others seemed to get the message and skulked away.

"Well. Thanks," Jack said, starting to sit up. "You're the one who killed me first, right? Does that make me your property or something?"

The Reaver pounced on Jack and bit his neck, lapping up the blood as it streamed out.

Jack groaned in pain. "Oh, I sure got a peach of an owner." He felt the Reaver's hand on him, slipping between his legs and handling him roughly. He grimaced. "There's no need to be so savage—I'll give you what you want." He put his free hand on the Reaver's side and kissed his torn right ear. "Easy. Come on…"

But there was no talking to his captor, who seemed to like things better when Jack was screaming. When the Reaver was temporarily satisfied sexually, he went back to biting and licking.

Jack tried to shut it out. _Let's see… they raped me to death, they've eaten chunks of my flesh, he's drinking my blood… so all that's left is using my skin for their clothes. God, this'll be fun._

"So, uh—_ouch!_ Um, how old are you?" Jack asked, desperately trying to keep his mind off the pain.

The Reaver gave Jack a look before going back to his drink.

"You look… mm, like you could be… pretty young…" Jack went on, between exclamations of pain. "I don't think the Reavers reproduce, so you've got to be a convert, right? Someone who got captured and went crazy because of what they did to you… and what they made you watch. Am I right?"

The Reaver bit Jack's shoulder and worked his teeth over his arm. He moved on to Jack's ribs, then his hip, and beyond…

"Oh, please—I know I've done some terrible things in my time, but do I really deserve—" Jack screamed. Tears of pain spilled over and ran down into his ears. "I'm sorry about what they did to you," he gasped. "But you're not really one of them. Maybe you could recover. Do you remember how to talk?" He reached down and caressed his tormenter. He touched the jagged piece of metal sticking out near the Reaver's eyebrow. "Come on, look at me. There's still a human being somewhere under all this. You can talk, can't you? I'm Jack. What's your name? Do you remember your name?"

The Reaver turned his head quickly and bit Jack's hand.

"Ow—okay. Okay. Introductions are overrated. We can try that another time… let's just have sex again. You like that, right?"

The Reaver crawled on top of Jack again, held his head back by the hair and raked his teeth over Jack's neck.

Jack felt the Reaver working inside him again and he smiled through his pain. _He understood. He understood what I said. I've got nothing but time—maybe I can make some progress with this kid while I wait for the Doctor. It's a goal, anyway. Worth a try. The Doctor would want me to try._ He kissed the Reaver's face and got his mouth bitten in return. _Well… I always liked a challenge._

* * *

><p><em>Okay, now I'm waiting on pins and needles to see what you think—about Gray's wake-up call and about Jack's failed attempts to tame the savage beast. :p<br>_


	30. Force Feeding

_Sorry this one took a while-real life keeping me busy._

_Mature content: discussion of suicide, torture, cannibalism, rape. So... pretty much the works. Skim if you get queasy._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirty: Force-Feeding_  
><em>

* * *

><p>John entered the barracks in time to see the Doctor draping Jack's coat over Gray. Gray pulled the collar up over his chin and closed his eyes.<p>

"He's going back to sleep already?" John asked quietly when the Doctor joined him by the door.

"Guilt is an exhausting thing."

"Do you think he understands now?"

"He's beginning to. And the more he understands, the more it hurts."

"Seems like his opinion of Jack has made a complete turnaround," John observed, nodding at the coat.

"I thought it might calm him to have something of Jack's he could hold on to. It smells like him, too."

"He's like a little kid again."

"In a lot of ways, he is. He never had a chance to mature emotionally. It's going to be very hard for him to live with himself, but we can get him through this."

"Are you sure it wouldn't be kinder to let him go?"

The Doctor turned a stern look on him. "I'm ashamed of you, Captain. Look at him. As you said, he's a child. He hasn't had a chance at a real life. The past of anyone's timeline shouldn't affect his value in the present. He may have done terrible things, but that doesn't mean he can't go on to do wonderful things. He can be well and whole. He can be Jack's brother again. He can love and be loved. He's a human being. You and I have no right to say his life would be better cut short."

"No, you're right," John relented. "But is it our place to say he won't go wrong again? He might snap any time and go back to hurting people."

"That's why he needs us. We'll be here for him, whatever happens. Can I rely on you?"

John looked at Gray's peaceful form snuggled under Jack's coat. _He's not my problem. But that's what Jack thought about me not so long ago._ "Yes. I'll help if I can."

The Doctor nodded. "Good man. Remember to be gentle with him. Guilt of this weight causes physical pain. This is the sort of thing the Cybermen made themselves into machines to escape. If he's ever to recover, we can't give him what he deserves. We have to show him what real friendship is."

"You should take some rest, Doctor. I'll stay with him a while."

* * *

><p>Most of the ship's occupants had gone to sleep and John was nodding off when Gray began stirring in his sleep. John shook his head to wake himself. Gray was shaking and whimpering. John put a hand to Gray's brow and found it damp with sweat.<p>

"Gray," he whispered. "It's all right. You're safe. I've got you." He combed his fingers through Gray's hair. _Just don't start screaming, please._

Gray jerked suddenly. "Jack?"

John put his arms around him loosely. "Shh, it's me—John."

"John…" Gray repeated groggily. "John, we have to go back."

"Can't yet. I'm sorry."

"Please, we have to." Gray tugged urgently at John's arm. "We have to stop them…"

"Listen to me. You're still half asleep. I know you're worried about Jack; we all are. But right now you need to sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning." He kissed Gray's forehead.

"Will you stay with me?"

"If you like. Here, give us a little room." Gray shifted to the side and John packed himself in next to him. He tossed his shirt away and slipped one arm under Gray's neck. "Okay, a right pair of sardines we are now."

John felt Gray take his wrist and kiss the scarred area softly. "I'm sorry."

_Well, you should be._ John took a deep breath and reminded himself of the Doctor's words. _We can't give him what he deserves. We have to show him what real friendship is._ "I forgive you."

* * *

><p>The crew of the <em>Javelin <em>remained fairly quiet for the return journey. The wounded were tended and no one was hurt so badly that they would need to be hospitalized.

Gray stayed in the barracks most of the time and didn't talk to anyone besides John and the Doctor if he could avoid it. He had trouble sleeping but spent a lot of time in bed trying to. He ate very little.

"You're going to waste away," the Doctor said when Gray refused the food he brought him.

"I'm just not hungry." Gray leaned on the bar at the end of his bunk and looked dismally at the floor. His fingers brushed the cuff of Jack's coat.

"I know you're not, but I need you to stay strong. You want to be fit enough to help rescue Jack, don't you?"

"My stomach's in knots. I don't know if I can keep anything down."

"Try. Just a little," the Doctor urged.

Gray took the plate and forced down a few bites.

"That's it. You need to move around, too. Get a little exercise. We should get back to Barcelona tomorrow."

"So, we can get the Tardis and go right back, right?"

"Er…" the Doctor hesitated. "Here's the thing. We haven't got enough people. We made a big dent in them but there were so many more… We're going to need a lot more manpower before we can hope to fight them again."

"No. All we need is River."

"River? What are you thinking?"

"She told me she's killed around a hundred Reavers herself. She's the most agile thing I've ever seen, and she beat up John, which isn't as easy as you'd think. He's got very good reflexes himself. So anyone that can take him by surprise is superhuman."

The Doctor remembered what Simon had told him about his sister. _"They took her to test how they could manipulate her brain and turn her into a weapon."_ Jayne had also said that River had killed dozens of Reavers. "Even if she wanted to go, Simon would never let her."

"He has to."

"Listen… the Tardis doesn't always go right to the time and place I want it to," the Doctor pointed out. "Supposing we got there a year from now? That would be terrible."

"If we sit around Barcelona trying to recruit people, it'll take a year anyway. No one will want to join us when they find out what happened to the first group. Besides, I think all the brave ones went with us the first time."

_He's right—no one on Barcelona will go with us._ "I suppose we could try another planet."

"I'd rather take a chance of wasting time by skipping it than wasting time trying to convince people to help us."

"Well, we can discuss it when we get back. The Master may have some insight. Oh… he'll be wondering why Jack hasn't called him. I'd better have a look at John's wrist strap and see if there's any hope of fixing it."

* * *

><p>The Doctor shook his head sadly. "Maybe back on the Tardis, but out here it's no good," he told John, looking over the intricate works of the VM. Many of the tiny wires had been severed and the microscopic memory board was scorched along one edge. He found a setting on his sonic screwdriver that would reattach some of the wires, but that was all he could manage.<p>

"Thanks anyway," John said. "But if we get it fixed when we get back, I can just jump in there, grab Jack and jump out again."

"And with your luck you'd miss, it would fizzle out again and you'd both be stuck in the wrong time."

"If he were with me, I'd be happy."

"Well, I wouldn't. Besides, there may well be more hostages on that ship, and we need to get the Meddler back to his TARDIS."

"Speaking of him, I like his regeneration, don't you?" John asked.

"Um… I s'pose. It's nice."

"Now he's cut his hair he's damned attractive."

"Hm."

"You don't think so?"

"Well… I s'pose I'm a bit jealous," the Doctor admitted.

"Jealous? Really? Why?"

The Doctor ran his fingers over the table's surface and kept his eyes down. "I've always wanted to be ginger…"

John laughed, then stopped when he saw the Doctor's expression. "You're serious? He's more like a dark auburn, I'd say."

"I'd settle for that."

"Good lord. Who'd have thought."

"Everyone has their funny little wishes. I daresay you have a few. Now, listen—can we call Jack's VM using the ship's com system? I'm sure the Master's wondering what's become of us."

"I doubt it but I can try."

But John had no success, even when he tried linking the _Javelin's_ communications to his VM. "Sorry; I'm afraid he'll just have to wait until we get back."

"All right." _How will I tell him about Jack?_ the Doctor wondered. _How will he take it? And how long will Jack have to wait? Will he be sane when we find him?_

* * *

><p>Jack was also wondering that very thing when his keeper brought an unsavory-looking chunk of <em>something<em> for him to eat.

"Oh, no thanks. Really; I'll just starve to death, if it's all the same to you."

The young Reaver straddled Jack's torso and held the meat against his mouth.

Jack turned his head to the side like a spoiled child. _Nothing will make me eat mystery meat in a cannibalistic community._

The Reaver attempted to pry Jack's mouth open, but it was difficult while he held the meat. Jack kept his jaws clenched tightly together. The Reaver took out his curved knife and made a quick slit on Jack's shoulder. When Jack hissed in pain, he shoved the meat partway into Jack's mouth.

Jack gagged and turned his head the other way, spitting on the floor. "Hey, that's not organic—see if I come here again! So, will you tell me your name today?" He closed his mouth firmly again as his captor renewed his attempts to feed him.

Finally the Reaver took a bite of the meat himself, chewed thoroughly and pressed his mouth against Jack's.

_He's sure going to a lot of trouble to get me to eat…_ Jack continued to turn his head away and struggle as much as his chains would allow. _Or is this just part of the torture? Is he trying to destroy me mentally by forcing me to consume human flesh? _He remembered the story the Doctor had mentioned about the survivors of the _Essex._ Owen Chase had gone mad after being forced to cannibalize his comrades. Maybe the same would happen to him…

_Don't be silly. It's terrible, but it won't kill me if it happens. It's just a certain arrangement of molecules; it's dead. If it was human, it's not anymore._

The Reaver held Jack's nose closed and waited for him to open his mouth for air.

Jack held his breath and waited. _I'm going to pass out and then I'll wake up with my mouth full of that stuff. I might swallow it while I'm unconscious. Okay…_ Holding his breath was becoming very difficult, but he held on stubbornly. _I've done some unholy things in my time, but I've never consumed human flesh. If there's a god listening out there somewhere, this is me saying I don't want this._

The longer he held his breath, the more aware he became of his hearts pounding. His throat became unbearably tight and his lungs burned. His head began to pound and then finally, mercifully, darkness overwhelmed him.

* * *

><p>When he came to, Jack tried not to speculate on how much might have been forced down his throat while he slept. He found his captor offering him something from a bag made of what looked like leather. He hoped it wasn't human skin.<p>

"Is that water?" he asked hopefully.

The Reaver nodded once and held the bag's opening to Jack's lips.

Jack took a mouthful, swished it around and spat on the floor before taking more. Then he drank all the rest. "Thanks," he said, lying back on the floor again. "So, what's your name?"

The Reaver bent down and began running his mouth over Jack's jaw, his neck and his chest, pausing occasionally to bite him and lick up the blood.

Jack closed his eyes against the pain and tried not to think about Gray. "If you don't tell me your name," he grunted, "I'm going to give you one…. And you probably won't like it."

His keeper moved his ragged skin-clothes aside and settled on top of Jack.

"It would be so much nicer if I had a name to moan, don't you think?" he tried again, steeling himself for the rough treatment he knew was coming.

In a few minutes, when the Reaver lay limp and damp on top of him, Jack caught his breath as his body healed itself and the pain began to recede. He reached up with his free hand and caressed the Reaver's neck. "Why won't you let me show you? It can be so much better than this if you learn to go a little slower and be a little less… selfish." He kissed the Reaver's forehead.

The Reaver uttered a soft growl and turned his head slowly toward Jack. Their eyes met and they stared at each other for a while. "Dair."

"Dair? Is that your name?" Jack brushed the hair back from his captor's face. "Good to meet you, Dair. I'm Jack. Is it short for anything? Derek? Darren? Adair?"

The Reaver nodded slightly.

"Adair, huh? Kinda fancy for a Reaver. If I kiss you, will you bite me?"

Dair responded by biting Jack's mouth.

"Ow! Okay. Okay. Sorry I asked."

Dair licked the blood off Jack's mouth. Then he got up and walked away.

_At least I know he can understand a lot of what I'm saying. And I've got a name now._ Jack curled up around his wrist's chain and closed his eyes. _Please hurry, Doctor._

* * *

><p>When the others had disembarked from the <em>Javelin, <em>John got the Doctor, the Meddler and Gray into one of its shuttles and they headed back to the Tardis.

Kaylee came to get Mal and the others. They withheld their grim tale until they got back to the _Serenity_ so they could tell everyone at once.

"Hart's got a fool idea to go back after him," Mal concluded. "But I doubt he'll find anyone on Barcelona crazy enough to go with him now."

"But if there's pay in it we're going, right?" asked Jayne. "I mean, we lost so many people that he made our cut a lot bigger than it was going to be…"

"You go if you want, Jayne," said Mal. "I'm not touching it."

"I am," said Zoe. "I hate the Reavers as much as you do, but if they're going back then I'm not going to sit around here. No one should be abandoned like that."

"But he's probably dead by now anyway."

Inara cleared her throat. "I wasn't going to tell you but under the circumstances I think I'd better. Jack can't die."

"What?" the others asked, turning toward her in amazement.

"He has a unique condition. He can be killed, but he comes back to life. The Reavers will just kill him over and over and torture him forever. So if Hart does go back, I'm going too."

"You?" asked Mal.

"I can use a bow and a sword. Jack is our friend. We have to try."

"I'm in too," Kaylee agreed.

"Me too," said River.

"You can't go," Simon protested.

For once, River made herself absolutely clear. "You can't stop me. So you should come, too. Jack and Gray would go if it were you."

Simon was speechless for a moment. "Okay, fine. Are we all going?"

"Looks like it," said Wash. "Are you in, Captain?"

Mal looked around at his companions. "Well, since I won't have any crew to work with anyway… What the hell?"

* * *

><p>"He's going to be livid," the Doctor said, meaning the Master. "I don't know what he'll do, but there's nothing for it. When he sees Jack isn't with us, he'll figure out what happened."<p>

"Maybe I'd better wait outside until you calm him down," the Meddler suggested. "He might kill me."

"Oh, I don't think so. But… maybe you better had, just in case."

Gray remained silent, watching Barcelona's landscape passing until the shuttle came to rest in an open area.

"This is the spot, isn't it?" John asked.

The Doctor looked over the shuttles coordinates. "Yes, that's right…" He looked out the front. Sparse grass, a few small trees, a couple of boulders… "Where is it? Oh, no…" He suddenly felt sick. "No, no, no…" He ran to the hatch, yanked it open and jumped to the ground, not bothering to let the stairs down. He ran into the clearing and turned around in a circle, searching for the police box.

The others got out behind him and looked around, too.

"No, this can't be happening," the Doctor muttered. _Secret project… damn him! How did he manage it? I made sure he'd never be able to move her. I made certain. I made __**absolutely**__ certain!_ "No, no, no, no, no, no NO!" He sank to his knees. "How could he do this to me AGAIN?"

* * *

><p><em>Okay, show of hands: who expected this chapter's ending? I really want to know. xD<br>_


	31. Rescue Plan

_Okay, now you get to see what the Master was up to and I hope you like it. :p_

_Mature content: Things get really nasty for Jack in this chapter (I mean really, seriously nasty), so you can avoid that section by skipping to the end and I'll just summarize the important facts after. More along the rape and torture lines._

_Spoilers: Nothing serious—a few EARLY Doctor references (like William Hartnell early). Doesn't give anything vital away._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirty-one: Rescue Plan_  
><em>

* * *

><p>The Doctor couldn't help remembering what had happened the last time the Master had stolen his TARDIS. She'd ended up as a paradox machine, allowing the descendents of humans to come back in time and murder their ancestors. <em>What will he do next?<em>

Then the Doctor heard a familiar sound which he couldn't quite place in his current state of panic. He looked up and saw a crack appear in one of the boulders nearby. It widened until a figure was silhouetted in the yellow glow of the interior. The figure was dressed in a top hat and long coattails and holding a cane.

"Abracadabra!" the figure shouted, holding up his arms. "The Great Master lives!"

For a moment the Doctor could only stare open-mouthed. Then he sprang to his feet, irrepressibly angry. "What the hell have you done?" he shouted. "You great buffoon—what have you done to my Tardis?" He ran forward, feeling his insides jumble in confusion as he tried to justify his anger against the relief of realizing that the Master had not taken off into another time.

The Master's expression turned from glee to annoyance. "Fixed her, obviously. The chameleon circuit is complete again. Took me several days. Wasn't easy, either."

The Doctor paused just inside the Tardis, staring the Master in the face and holding back the urge to hit him only with a great effort. "I told you you weren't to go into the control room!"

"Well, I couldn't work on the chameleon circuit from outside it—I _had_ to go in. Phase one was bypassing your electric shock therapy… not simple, I'll warrant, but I managed it…"

"Put her right!" the Doctor said, his tone still angry. "Now!"

"That's what I _did_," the Master retorted. "If you'd rather have her _broken,_ do it yourself. You managed it the first time; I daresay you can do it again."

Seething, the Doctor took the Master by the collar.

"Go on," the Master urged. "What are you waiting for? Hurt me."

"Doctor," John interrupted quietly, "for what it's worth, I think he was only trying to help."

_What am I doing?_ The Doctor loosened his hold. _I'm only upset about Jack. This isn't a big thing. Calm down._ "I'm sorry. You did this for me?"

The Master looked at the floor and nodded.

"I'm sorry to be so ungrateful. It's good work. Brilliant." The Doctor hugged him.

The Master sprang back again from sullen to pleased. He returned the Doctor's embrace. "You liked it as it was, didn't you?"

"Yes, but… I kept meaning to fix it anyway."

"That's what I thought. Tell you what: Whenever we land somewhere, once we're sure that we don't need the camouflage, we can set it back on 'police box.' It's simple enough."

"Yes, of course." The Doctor turned away and comforted himself with the familiar feel of the inside of the Tardis. _We. He said when "we" land somewhere._ He smiled slightly.

"Where's Jack?"

Silence fell heavily over them. The Master looked from the Doctor to John to Gray.

"Come on… where is he?"

The Doctor turned back toward him. "He's still on the Reaver ship."

"Why?" The Master waited a moment; then he stepped closer to the Doctor. "Why?" he repeated, louder.

"He let them take him so we could escape," John supplied.

The Master continued to stare at the Doctor as if he were the one who had spoken. "No, don't tell me that. You brought him back with you. He's waiting outside or something… there's still someone out there."

"That's the Meddler—er, the Enterpriser," the Doctor said. "A Timelord. Younger than us. He was in a time loop at the point the war took place, so he escaped."

"Where did you pick him up?"

"The Reaver ship. But they've got his TARDIS. We're going to recover it when we go back for Jack."

"So, let's go back."

John sighed. "We're going to have to sit down and have a war council. Meddler, come inside," he called. "Help us explain why we can't just rush on back there…"

It took some time before the Master was satisfied that he had enough details.

"Okay. So Jack and John saved the Meddler's life by ruining his time loop," the Master summaraized, "then he went to another time and promptly got captured by Reavers, the Reavers made him take them to various times and places with his Tardis, they captured Gray, Jack told John about Gray, John—clever John—realized that they were time traveling and tracked Gray down, Jack and Gray are reunited and then Johnny boy decides to end the Reaver destruction by recapturing their time traveling device. The plan goes bad, the team is outnumbered and Jack is sacrificed for the greater good. Have I missed anything so far?"

"Spot on," said John.

"Right, so now that you're back here, we can take the Tardis, grab Jack and leave. Simple, yes?"

The Doctor shook his head. "No. We need to get the Meddler's TARDIS out. We can't take the risk that the Reavers might find a way to use it again. They have to be contained in their own time or they'll spread out through time and space, making new converts and destroying whole civilizations."

"Converts?" the Master asked skeptically.

"The few that survive usually go mad," said John. "Sometimes that madness makes the survivors decide to live like the Reavers themselves."

"I've seen it happen," Gray confirmed.

"You haven't said much," observed the Master. "What do you think about all this? Are you tickled to know that Jack's finally seeing things through your perspective?"

Gray kept his eyes down and didn't answer.

"Leave him alone," the Doctor said quietly. "We need to concentrate on our planning. We know there are still dozens if not scores of Reavers on that ship. Can we fight them? And if not, can we achieve our objectives without having to fight?"

A high pitched alternating beep began suddenly. The humans and Timelords began to look around the room. Then the Doctor started in realization.

"Oh, that's the com extension—sorry." He took a small mobile phone from its charger behind him and answered. "Yes? This is the Doctor."

"It's Captain Reynolds," said Mal's voice. "If Hart's still planning his harebrained rescue idea, you can tell him my crew is in—all of us."

"River and Simon, too?" the Doctor asked in surprise.

"Yeah. All of us."

"Thank you, Captain. John will be glad to hear that."

"I'll be glad to hear what?" John asked as the Doctor replaced the extension.

"The _Serenity's_ entire crew will join us for the rescue."

For the first time since their return, Gray's expression looked somewhat positive.

"Excellent," said the Master. "Let's go now."

"We've got to have a bit of a plan, anyway," the Doctor insisted. "Meddler, where did the Reavers keep the key to your TARDIS?"

The Meddler frowned deeply as he recalled memories of his captivity. "There was one big brute kept it on him—on a chain round his neck. Soon as I opened the door, he'd take it right back again."

"So, we'll need to find this particular Reaver—unless you think one of my keys would do."

"I'm afraid not. I still have a mach one lock in the door—never got a chance to upgrade."

The Master shook his head. "Shameful."

"What's a mach one lock?" asked John.

"Only that TARDIS's particular key will fit it," the Doctor explained, "and there is only one correct slot but twenty incorrect ones. If you put the key in the wrong slot, the locking mechanism will disintegrate. No way to get in then without seriously crippling the dimensional circuitry."

"Might as well grow a new TARDIS, for all the repairs you'd have to make," the Master added.

"Grow?" asked Gray.

"I used to have a mach one ages ago," the Doctor went on. "But then I started trusting my human companions more and it became terribly inconvenient that I was the only one who could open the door from the outside. So I simplified it a bit. Mach twos weren't much better in that way—they'd give you a second chance after you waited an hour."

"Mm, sometimes an hour can make a lot of difference," John mused.

"It certainly can."

"So recovering the key is absolutely necessary," the Master said, steepling his fingers. "If Jack's in any sort of lucid state when we find him, he may be able to help us find it. How competent is Jack under extreme adversity, anyway?"

"You should know—you tortured him," the Doctor said before he could stop himself.

"It never really happened."

"What?" asked John.

"Long story; some other time," the Master dismissed. "I think if he possibly can, Jack will try to do _something_ useful whilst he's there…"

"Yes," agreed the Doctor. "But we can't expect much. Even though they can't keep his physical health down for long, there's no telling the damage they'll have done to his mind. Now, if we take the _Javelin_ back, we can be there in about three days. That makes it roughly six or seven days in captivity for Jack. If we take the Tardis, we run the risk of going too far ahead and leaving Jack with them for months, or even years."

"But the Tardis is our best chance of a clean getaway," said John.

"If the Meddler and I help you, I'm sure we can pilot the Tardis much more accurately," said the Master.

"Good point… yes, good point." The Doctor thought for a while. "Okay, supposing we bring everyone over here; how many people have we got? The five of us, plus… one-two-three-four…" he counted on his fingers. "Eight from the _Serenity._ That gives us thirteen."

"Oh, great. Unlucky as hell," John muttered. "Speaking of which… did Jack ever say 'See you in hell' to you, Doctor?"

"Couple of times, yes. When we were going into action. Why do you ask?"

"He started saying it to me when we went on missions after the time loop incident. He'd say it every time. Only he didn't before we went on the Reaver ship. Seemed weird to me."

"Are you superstitious?"

John shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe it's more a matter of the comfort of familiarity than believing in luck. But I wonder."

"There are plenty of planets where the number thirteen is considered a good thing," the Master put in. "Means prosperity on Elnad."

"Besides, Jack makes it fourteen," said Gray.

"Of course. There you are," said the Doctor. "Fourteen of us. Now, when we get there, I can put up a force field round the Tardis so we can go out and have a look round without being in immediate danger. If we want to move further off, though, I'll have to lower it completely and we'll all be exposed."

"Let's plan to leave tomorrow morning, then," said John. "We'll try to fix my VM tonight. If I get to Jack first, I'll jump him straight to the Tardis. The quicker we get him out, the better."

"Agreed."

* * *

><p>"So, this is an upgrade, huh?" Jack asked as Dair chained him to the wall in a room he hadn't seen before. "Instead of the floor, I get a nice bed of nasty rags. Is this your bed?"<p>

Once Jack was secure, Dair climbed on top of him and took out his knife.

"Please, don't," Jack said. He knew it wouldn't do any good, but he couldn't help trying. He closed his eyes and braced himself. _At least if I don't watch him, maybe I won't get desensitized. I don't want to end up mutilating myself like they do, or getting to think nothing of hurting other people…_

Dair began opening small cuts on Jack's chest and licking up his blood. Before long he gave up trying to hold back the sounds that jumped to his throat with each fresh sting. The pain made a strange and unsettling contrast to the arousal Dair's tongue was raising. Then the cutting stopped and Dair was taking his body again, using Jack's blood for lubrication.

Finally, everything stopped. Jack felt as if his senses had all been dulled. He was vaguely aware that Dair was still lying on top of him, and he became aware of his own breathing and heartbeats against the weight of his tormentor. _I want to die. No, not really, but I want this to stop. I need my Doctor. How long has it been?_ He reached with one hand as far as his chain would allow and stroked Dair's shoulder. "Why won't you stop hurting me? I haven't done anything to you, Dair."

Dair moved his hand down between Jack's legs and toyed with him.

"Easy," Jack requested, wincing. "Please, Dair." He pressed his lips to Dair's forehead and tried to imagine that he wanted the attention—that he had asked his lover to be rough tonight and this was the result. But it didn't work. It never quite worked.

Suddenly, Dair sat up and a moment later several more Reavers entered the room. Dair stood, snarling at the intruders. Two of them grabbed Dair and held him against the wall. Three more approached Jack.

"Dair?" Jack said, fear mounting in his stomach. He saw his keeper struggling against the newcomers without success. All of them were making the inhuman growls and screeches that he could never get used to.

The female of the group took up where Dair had left off, while one of the males leaned down to take a bite out of Jack's shoulder.

Jack screamed in pain. His breathing became ragged as he struggled uselessly. The female Reaver was forcing him inside her then, and the others cut at his bound arms and drank the blood.

"Dair!" Jack screamed. "Dair, please make them stop!"

The woman's body slid over him in rhythmic pulses. She licked his chest and he shuddered.

_I don't want to be immortal if this won't stop… please, God just let me die now._ "Dair," he moaned, "help me."

But when the three Reavers were done with him, they went to relieve the two holding Dair, and then the others took their turn. These two had particularly ragged clothes, and they immediately took their knives to Jack's ribcage, pulling back his skin as they sliced it free.

Jack didn't stop screaming until he passed out.

When he woke the pain had stopped, but his body felt numb with the memory of it. He felt someone slide an arm around him and he flinched. Then he realized it was Dair. He pressed his face against Dair's chest and cried.

"Aren't there enough people out there for them to kill and hurt and rape," he muttered. "Why do they have to take me away from you? I'm yours, right? Dair…" he sobbed, unable to form any more words.

Dair pulled Jack closer and held him tightly.

"Please, don't hurt me again, Dair. Let me rest. Please."

"Jack."

Jack gasped. He looked up through his tears. _He said my name._

Dair looked back at him. Jack thought he looked more human than he'd ever seen him before.

_Am I imagining it? He looks a little scared and a little angry… and kind of possessive. It's just such a human look._

Dair moved his hand over Jack's body, fondling the area the other Reavers had cut up. There were no marks, nothing left to show what they had done, but Jack still cringed under the touch. Dair lowered Jack's head back to the floor and lay across him with his head on Jack's shoulder. "Mine," he whispered.

* * *

><p>It was dark on Barcelona when the Doctor took off his safety goggles and blew the spark dust away from John's VM.<p>

"There you are—give it a go."

John strapped the wrist band on and began pressing buttons. "If you've done something wrong, I could get sucked into a black hole or something, you know."

The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck. "Well… I suppose it's possible. But I really don't think… I mean, I hope…"

"Oh, shush. You're so encouraging." John took a deep breath and gave the VM its command. He disappeared from the Doctor's view.

The Doctor picked up Jack's VM from his work bench. "John, can you hear me? Where are you?" He waited anxiously for a moment before John's voice startled him from behind."

"Right here. Works all right for short distances. I'll test it more thoroughly tomorrow. Let's get some sleep."

"Okay." The Doctor stretched and yawned. It had been a long week.

* * *

><p><em>If you skipped: A group of Reavers temporarily stole Jack from Dair and raped and tormented him while Jack screamed Dair's name. When they finally left Dair was more gentle than usual with Jack and said his name at last. He also said "mine," which pretty much sums up his indignation over what happened.<br>_

_They're coming Jack—hang in there! Oh, that's your line. My line is, comments on the chapter? Hope you weren't too disappointed with the Master's non-betrayal. xp  
><em>


	32. Night Terrors

_I mixed some minor Whoniverse spoilers about the Doctor and Master's childhood with some of my own ideas about it—shouldn't spoil anything major for you._

_Mature content isn't too high in this one. You should be fine.  
><em>

* * *

><p>The Doctor found the Master waiting for him in the hall near his room. The Master was still wearing the long-tailed coat and carrying the top hat in his hands.<p>

"You really ought to have grown a mustache to complete the look," the Doctor commented.

"I hadn't time. Didn't plan my presentation until the last moment."

"Typical. I recall your school presentations being rather slipshod."

The Master half smiled. "May I see your room?"

The Doctor hesitated. "I… I don't really let anyone in there."

"You let Jack in."

"He _broke_ in. I'll have to redo the whole thing."

"I could help you."

"That would sort of defeat the purpose."

"Can we talk? We can go to my room if you like."

The Master looked sincere and he hadn't run away or damaged the Tardis during his absence, so the Doctor decided it was a reasonable request. But he wasn't eager to go to the Master's room either.

"Let's go to the Astronomy room," he suggested.

The Master agreed and they went together.

They both reclined on the floor of the dim room and the Master tossed his hat to the side.

"You know what?"

"What?" the Doctor asked, glad that he hadn't had to speak first.

"There was something rather interesting in those rubbish books you had me reading."

"Do tell."

"The way the purebloods thought of the Muggles. Reminded me a bit of the High Council and their opinion of humans and other lesser life forms. Sure, humans are rather thick as a rule… but some of them are clever enough, and a lot of them are quite nice…"

"Is that you talking?" the Doctor asked with a smile. "You sound so different."

"I know, I know. It's just… now we don't hate each other, everything is different."

A lump sprang up in the Doctor's throat. "I never hated you."

"What was it, then? Why weren't we friends at commencement? We should have been congratulating each other, but you would scarcely speak to me."

"I wanted to. I did. But I was afraid one of us would become angry. I thought it was better to leave you alone."

"But what started it? When we talked before you said I broke my word to you. But I've tried and I can't remember."

"It was something I told you in confidence that you swore you wouldn't tell anyone. And inside a month the whole Academy knew."

"What?" The silence stretched out until the Master asked, "You're not talking about that girl, are you?"

The Doctor knew that silence would be taken as confirmation so he answered, "Not her—the promise. That's what was important."

"There wasn't any harm in it—a little later everyone forgot about it due to the latest game of Eighth Man Bound. No one cared."

"I cared that my best friend made me a promise and didn't keep it."

The Master sighed. "Look, not to insult your honesty, but I don't believe you. Yes, we took promises seriously, but it's not like we never lied to each other before that. I've heard you tell some impressive ones. I think what really upset you was that what's-her-name… Chanta, wasn't it? that she avoided you because she found out you liked her. I'm sorry you never got a proper chance with her, but things worked out all right, didn't they?"

"I wouldn't have married her in the end anyway. It's the principle," the Doctor insisted.

"Again, no offense, but I don't think you put that much stock in principle in those days. I think that's an excuse and that you've had to become this righteous, selfless hero to cover the fact that you've been hurt. And until you face that, we're not going to get very far. And I'm sorry," the Master added, managing to maintain his serious tone.

_How dare you?_ The Doctor nearly said it aloud, but he held it in. _Could he be right? Was I holding a childish grudge all these years? Did I tell myself I was angry about the promise when I was more angry about Chanta? It was humiliating, to be sure. And he's right—I didn't exactly have the best reputation back then. Did I develop my behavior to suit my morality, or was it my morality that changed to support my new behavior? Was it an excuse?_

"Master… sorry, I'm a bit confused."

"So, it _does_ happen to the best of us."

The Doctor smiled slightly. "That incident wasn't the only thing that made us grow apart. But… if you're right then it was the beginning of all the other things. And while I'm not sorry my ethics grew stricter, I am sorry for closing you off. We were young—stupid things seem important when you're young, and unfortunately the important things can seem stupid at times."

"Then… are you going to forgive me after all this time, for breaking a promise as a child?"

"At this point, there's really nothing to forgive. But tell me, can I trust your word now?"

"I don't know, to tell you the truth. I think so, but it hasn't been tested very strongly yet, has it?"

"No. It'll take time. Everything does, I suppose." The Doctor inched his hand to the side until it brushed the Master's. He felt the Master pull away quickly, but then the hand returned to settle over his own. He smiled. "Can you forgive me, then, for the way I treated you?"

After a pause, the Master said, "Yes. I think so. I don't remember ever forgiving anyone before, so it's new and I'm not sure… not sure I'll manage it properly."

The Doctor laughed.

"Come on, I'm serious."

"All right. Forgiveness is just a matter of deciding that the person who wronged you is more valuable than your grudge is."

"Well, yes then," the Master said quickly. "I can do that." He gave the Doctor's hand a small squeeze. "It's easier than I expected."

"All things are easy to the well-organized mind, eh?" The Doctor smiled. "So, now we've got that settled, you were saying before: Everything's different now. You think you might like humans as people and not just as pawns?"

"If you, the Meddler and I are the only Timelords left, I think it's expedient that we make the most of the sentient life forms round us. Don'tcha think?"

"Yes, I do."

"They'll never be like our people, I'm afraid. But that's not all bad, is it?"

"Certainly not. They've such a capacity for learning…"

"Perfect slave race, really."

"Master!"

"All right, only joking. Well, sort of. They do seem to like getting conquered."

The Doctor couldn't deny it; he had thought the same thing before.

"Listen, do you mind if I call you Sigma, like in the old days? With us the only ones left, formal titles aren't really necessary, are they?"

"Well… the Doctor's my proper name now. It's what I'm used to, and what I prefer. But I suppose… it wouldn't do any harm in private."

"Okay; I'll try to remember the distinction. You of course may call me Koschei if you like."

_Koschei. My best mate. But is it really you? Is Koschei still there inside you?_ "I may. Sometimes it seems right and sometimes not. We'll work it out."

"There's a lot yet to work out. A lot of things we'll need to talk through if we want to be able to live with each other. But one step at a time."

"Yes. I think… we ought to talk about Torvic one day soon."

"No," the Master said immediately. "That's one thing we should let lie."

"For now."

"Forever."

The Doctor sighed. He sat up. "Come on—if we want to rescue Jack tomorrow, we should try to get some rest."

"Right."

They got up and the Doctor paused in the doorway. "Is it all right if I hug you? I know you've never been 'cuddly' as you say, but you let me hug you when I came back from holiday and such, remember?"

"Ages ago. When we were little tykes, fifty or younger."

"All right—if it bothers you that much…"

"No, it's all right."

The Doctor smiled. _Jack's breaking him down. Jack or Harry Potter._ He pulled the Master gently toward him. "Good night, Koschei."

To his surprise, the Master hugged him firmly in return. "Good night, Sigma." He didn't let go.

"Um…" the Doctor waited awkwardly.

"I'd forgotten what it's like," the Master murmured. "Jack's got two hearts of course, but he's not really a Timelord."

"What what's like—feeling my hearts beating against yours?"

"That. And having a friend. I haven't had a real friend in centuries, you know."

_What a dreadful notion. He must have been so lonely._ "I'm sorry." The Doctor rubbed the Master's back. "You've got a handful of them now, though. Tell me, do you love Jack?"

The Master rested his head on the Doctor's shoulder. "I don't know. I like him. He's ace for a human. But love… I don't know," he repeated. "Maybe as much as I can love anyone. I think it's one of those things I'm rubbish at."

"Nonsense. Just takes a bit of practice, that's all."

"You had a user-friendly definition for forgiveness—so, what's love?"

After brief consideration the Doctor answered, "It's a lot of things, but here's a good starting point: It's wanting nothing bad and everything good for the object of your affection." He eased away from the Master and smiled at him. "You'll do all right, I'm sure."

The Master went to retrieve the top hat from where it had landed. "I'll just put these things away. Night."

"Good night." The Doctor smiled to himself as he walked back to his room. He was still worried about Jack, but he was sure everything would turn out fine.

* * *

><p>John slipped his arm under Jack's coat and wrapped it around Gray. He had accepted Gray's request to sleep by him without hesitation but Gray didn't seem to want to talk.<p>

"He's gonna be okay," John said quietly. "Jack's tough. We both know that."

"They'll break him."

"He's resourceful and he adapts quickly. He'll survive. He knows he's just got to hang on until we get there."

"We should be going now." Gray stirred restlessly.

"Take it easy." John rubbed Gray's chest. "We've got to give everyone a chance to rest and get their weapons ready. We'll try to land the Tardis as early in the right time stream as possible. For now the best thing you can do is sleep."

Gray sighed. He put his hand over John's, following its movement as John continued his light massage. "Did the Doctor get your VM fixed?"

"Looks like it. I'll give it a good test tomorrow." John turned his hand over and took Gray's wrist lightly. He felt the warm, hard metal of the ring Gray had taken from the Reaver. "Why did you keep this?"

"The Reavers have a way of counting coup. I saw my keeper take it off a man while he raped him. It wasn't jewelry—it was off his cartridge belt or something. Any piece of metal they take off a victim, if it'll stay on some way, or if it's sharp enough to stick into them, they'll add it to their collection to show how many people they've claimed."

"What do you mean by your 'keeper?'"

"If a Reaver decides to take someone alive so he can keep torturing him, he's responsible for keeping him alive. If he wants to keep the prisoner to himself, he can't expect any help from anyone else. He has to feed and water the prisoner and make sure he doesn't freeze or overheat. I had three keepers. Between raids they had to fight the others off sometimes to keep me from being eaten."

John's stomach felt a little queasy. "So you took the ring to count coup on your tormentor."

"Yeah." Gray ran his fingers lightly over John's palm. "I hate them all so much. How can you stand being with me?"

John was taken by surprise. "Stand being with you?"

"You know everything I did to Jack. He's your friend. Don't you hate me?"

"I suppose I've got reason to… but no. I used to think 'an eye for an eye' was the best way. But now I think it's better to try to help people become stronger and wiser than to damage them in return."

"Why?"

"I guess because Jack's forgiven me a lot. He gave me another chance when most people wouldn't have. So I'm trying to do the same."

Gray rolled over and rested his head on John's shoulder. "I'm sorry I made you hurt Jack. You saved me. I shouldn't have treated you like that."

"It's all right now. We'll save Jack together, eh?"

"Yeah. If something happens to me, you'll tell him I'm sorry, right?"

"Course I will. But nothing's going to happen to you. I've got your back."

Gray kissed John's chest and John braced himself to keep Gray from sensing his reaction. Proud of his own self control, he stroked Gray's face lightly. Then Gray put an arm around him and kissed him again.

_Okay, losing it,_ John told himself. He knew he had to do something before he _did something._ "Gray?"

"Hm?"

John hesitated. Gray seemed so innocent now, so honest. He sighed and leaned down to kiss Gray's forehead. "Good night."

They hadn't been asleep long when something woke John. There was a moment of silence as he struggled to orient himself and then Gray screamed again.

_Oh, no. This again._ He put his arms around Gray and held him securely. "Gray? Come on, mate, wake up."

But Gray didn't seem able to hear him. He jerked in John's arms and continued to scream.

Not knowing what else to do, John got up and hurried out into the hall. Maybe the Doctor would be able to do something.

* * *

><p>"What's going on?" The Master had been on his way back to his room from the Wardrobe when he heard someone screaming bloody murder and looked up to see John coming out of Gray's room.<p>

John turned around. "Gray—he's got dreadful night terrors. I can never wake him. Thought I'd fetch the Doctor."

The Master shook his head. "Let the Doctor alone. I'll come." He walked purposefully into Gray's room and switched on the light.

"What are you going to do?" asked John.

"I won't harm him." The Master went to the bed and observed Gray, who was lying on his back with his eyes wide open and still screaming periodically. Usually it was just an utterance of sheer terror, but once he said "no," and as the Master put his hands to Gray's temples he screamed Jack's name. "Help hold him still," he instructed.

John held Gray's arms down and leaned against his torso to keep him from thrashing.

"Gray," the Master called. "Gray, can you hear me?"

There was no response other than another scream.

"He has no awareness of our presence," the Master concluded. "Remarkable."

"Can you help or not?" John demanded.

The Master ignored him. "I'm coming in, Gray. Just relax." He stepped into Gray's mind and looked around. _Lord, this could use redecorating. So dark. Is there a light in here? Gray, where are you? Memories, memories… God—didn't care to see that lot… more memories… Ah, dreams. Dreamy memories, memorable dreams… Gray?_ He saw Gray standing chained to the dark wall of his dream, his eyes fixed on a horde of Reavers not far away.

"Gray, stop looking at them. They're not real. Look at me."

"Jack!"_ Gray screamed again, struggling against his chains as they bit into his wrists. Blood ran down his hands, but he seemed oblivious to the pain._

_The Master carefully kept his eyes away from the Reavers, knowing that if he looked too closely he would see Jack in their midst, being torn and ravished. He stepped into Gray's sightline._ "Gray, look at me. They're not real. You're only dreaming." He put his hands on the sides of Gray's face. "Come away with me, Gray. You'll be safe."

Tears ran down Gray's face and slid along the Master's hands. "I know you're scared, but you've got to come with me. Look—"_ he ran his hands down Gray's arms to the chains._ "These aren't real either. You see?" _His fingers slipped through the manacles and rubbed Gray's bleeding wrists._ "You're free. Come with me now and we can save Jack together. You've got to trust me. Come on." He pulled Gray forward gently.

_Finally taking his eyes off the horrific scene in front of him, Gray stepped into the Master's arms and held on to him as if he were the only secure tree in the middle of a cyclone._

The screams had turned to sobs. The Master allowed himself to be half suffocated and he rubbed Gray's back gently. "You're all right. It's going to be okay."

John kissed Gray's head and caressed him gently. "Will he be all right now?"

"Oh, yes. Probably won't even remember most of it." The Master handed Gray off to John and stood up. "You know something? That felt nice."

"What?" John asked, settling Gray back on the bed and pulling Jack's coat over him again.

"Helping someone who didn't deserve it. It felt good. Just like everyone says it does. Hm."

"Congratulations on your discovery of the warm fuzzies."

"Oh, and by the by, you look good without a shirt."

John eyed him with one eyebrow arched. "Oh?"

"And so does Gray, for that matter."

"Your point?"

"We should remind Jack of that threesome he suggested once he's back and recovered."

"Good night, Master."

The Master smiled and gave an exaggerated bow. "Pleasure to be of service. Good night to you."

* * *

><p><em>If he keeps up his good deeds, the Master will be a Boy Scout soon. ;) Comments appreciated.<br>_


	33. Assault

_The opening scene is completely made up by me and non-canonical. But I think there could very well have been similar incidents in the Doctor's past._

_No real spoilers._

_Mature content gets pretty dark in this one, but we'll be out of the woods soon. Then the horror story will be done and we can get on with the soap opera. ;)_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirty-Three: Assault_  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>The two boys had been playing by the lake for hours. Their red mud castle was nearly shoulder-height to them when Theta Sigma set a silver leaf flag on its tallest tower. It gleamed in the light of the setting suns.<em>

"_There. Now the Council can begin convening on matters of the Shadow Proclamation…"_

_Koschei picked up a long stick and rammed it through the middle of the castle._

"_Hey!" Sigma exclaimed. "What are you doing?"_

"_Come on!" said Koschei, "It's a Chula invasion force! Down with the citadel!"_

"_Stop it!"_

_Koschei laughed and continued his assault on the castle, ignoring Sigma's protests. He whacked the top off the tower with his stick._

"_I said stop!" Sigma pushed Koschei to the ground. Still angry, he turned to assess the damage._

"_What? We'd finished. It's just going to fall down anyway," Koschei reasoned from behind him._

"_Why did you do that? It's completely spoilt now." Sigma felt his eyes stinging and fought hard to subdue his anger. If Koschei saw him cry, he'd never hear the end of it. He pushed some mud into the hole in the castle's middle, but it didn't look right._

_Koschei got to his feet and went to stand beside Sigma. "Come on, don't be cross. Here…" he fished in his pocket. "Here, have my laser fob."_

_Surprised, Sigma looked down to see Koschei holding out the coveted toy. "You mean it?"_

"_Yeah. Have it for keeps."_

_Sigma took the laser fob in his dirty hands slowly, as if he thought it would disappear any moment. The castle was all but forgotten. "Thanks, Koschei."_

_Koschei smiled at him. "Let's get back. Curfew soon."_

The Doctor stretched and yawned. He shook his head at the lingering memory of his childhood. _I was so easily bought off in those days. Wonder if I still have that thing…_

* * *

><p>Jack wasn't sure if he'd been asleep or not—the same dark walls around him, the constant screeching… his nightmares blended with reality. But today when Dair came back, he had a woman with him.<p>

"Good morning," Jack said warily. "I'm sure it's morning somewhere… Dair, who is this?"

Dair and the stranger conversed in their growling half-language. Then they began circling each other, pulling at clothing, leaning in now and then to bite each other.

Jack got the uneasy feeling that watching his enemies mate was not going to be the extent of his torture today, and soon his unease was justified.

The woman, now without her skin clothing, went to drape herself over Jack. He cringed back against the wall even though he knew it wouldn't help. Dair joined them, taking up his place behind the woman.

_So, he made some kind of deal with her. She gets me if he gets her. Great._ Jack closed his eyes and tried not to feel the Reaver's hands on him, her mouth leaving bites across his chest, her body hot and unpleasant-smelling. He could feel Dair's hands, too; his arms were around the woman, but his hands were caressing Jack.

_This wouldn't be so bad if they'd let me have my hands free,_ Jack thought. _And if she'd quit biting me. And if they didn't stink. And if I actually wanted to be here. Doctor, please come soon. Please, I can't take much more of this._ He felt tears slipping down his face but he didn't care. The Reavers wouldn't pay any attention if he cried. And he was long past trying to impress them.

* * *

><p>Jack's senses came back to him gradually. The woman was gone. Only Dair was there, cutting Jack's wrist repeatedly to watch the wound heal itself. Occasionally he paused to lick the blood away.<p>

"Dair," Jack said faintly.

Dair paused a moment before going back to his activity.

Jack pulled his arm back and Dair growled. "Dair, please stop this. If you let me have my hands free, I can show you some much nicer things you could be doing…"

Dair narrowed his eyes at Jack as if to say, "Let you free? Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Don't you know by now that I won't try to hurt you or get away? Where would I go, anyway?" Jack waited, but he got no response. He sighed. "Come here. I want to show you something. Come on," he coaxed.

Still looking distrustful, Dair stretched out over Jack until their faces were inches apart.

"There you go. Now, just hold still." Jack moved his head forward very slowly until Dair bared his teeth at him. "Ah-ah. Keep your mouth closed. If you're really good, I'll let you open it later."

Dair growled again.

"You really need to stop that. It'll never go over in high society. Now, come on. Trust me."

Dair held perfectly still as Jack moved toward him again. His eyes stayed fixed on Jack, every muscle tensed and ready.

Jack brushed his lips over Dair's. "Easy," he breathed. "Just stay still." He very slowly increased the pressure and then pulled back again. "See? I won't try anything."

Dair bit Jack's shoulder and sucked his blood as he moved his groin over Jack's hip.

"Oh, damn it," Jack muttered, wincing in pain. "I was trying to turn you on, but don't you have any other way you can respond?"

In a few minutes, when Dair was calm again, Jack said, "If you'll just have a little patience, I can teach you how to kiss properly. Are you interested?"

The look he got was fairly tame, so Jack made another attempt. "Mouth closed for now," he reminded when he got close. He kissed the corner of Dair's mouth carefully, ready to pull back quickly. _So far so good…_ He kissed Dair dead center this time. Dair's lips parted and he returned the pressure. "Easy," Jack told him softly. "Easy. That's it." He smiled when he pulled away. "That's good. Very good." He smoothed Dair's tangled hair back from his face. "Now, you can open your mouth if you want, but no biting, okay?"

Dair remained still and let Jack continue his instruction. In a few minutes he seemed to have the basic idea down, but he still paused to deliver a cut or bite now and again. Jack bore the abuse as patiently as he could.

"Now, will you let me have one hand free so I can do this better?" Jack asked, giving his best sincere, innocent look. "No tricks, I promise."

After a moment's hesitation, Dair freed Jack's left hand. He held his knife at the ready.

"It's okay," Jack reassured him. "I'm not going to try anything." He ran his hand over Dair's scarred back and kissed his neck. He felt the cold edge of the knife on his throat and hesitated just a moment before kissing Dair's mouth again. He brought his hand around to stroke Dair's chest. He found the place where a twisted metal hook stuck out of Dair's skin and moved on, careful not to hurt him.

Dair pushed his tongue in to explore Jack's mouth as he'd been taught.

Jack closed his eyes. _Finally… this is so much better._ He wrestled Dair's tongue as he moved his hand seductively over Dair's body. He could feel the affect his attentions were having on his captor. _See? You don't have to make me scream to get the pleasure you're craving. Just a little more…_ He reached further, trying to get his hand to Dair's groin.

Dair growled into Jack's mouth. He pulled away suddenly and bit Jack's neck.

"Ah—hey!" Jack took Dair by the shoulder and tried to push him away. "No biting, remember?"

In a flash, Dair buried his knife in Jack's left shoulder.

Jack gasped and grimaced in pain. _Oh, god… okay. Too much too soon…_ He moaned as he felt Dair pulling his arm up to bind it again. "Please, Dair—don't. I'm sorry. I won't fight you, I promise. Do whatever you want."

Dair let Jack's arm down slowly. He turned the knife in the wound until Jack cried out in pain. "Mine," he said firmly.

"Okay, you're right," Jack panted. "I'm your prisoner. I can't tell you what to do. I'm sorry," he reapeated. He did his best to ignore the pain as he reached up to caress Dair once again. "I promise I'll give you what you want. Please, take the knife out. Please." He watched Dair's face, desperate for a sign of mercy. He felt a tear escape the corner of his eye, and then a second followed it. He could feel warmth around his shoulder as the blood ran down to the bed of dirty rags.

At last, Dair pulled the knife out of the wound; he bent down and licked the blood away as it healed. When there was no mark left, he continued to lick the spot and move his lips over it.

Jack sighed, trembling with relief. He rested his hand on the back of Dair's neck. "Thank you," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm yours."

Dair kissed Jack's mouth and settled on top of him. "My Jack."

"Your Jack."

* * *

><p>"Look what I found," the Doctor said, holding out his hand toward the Master, who was eating cheese on toast for breakfast.<p>

"Is that a laser fob? I haven't seen one of those in ages."

"It's the one you gave me."

"Did I?" The Master took the toy and turned it in his hands. "Oh, the one I gave you so you wouldn't cry over that ruddy mud castle? Lord, I can't believe you still have it."

"You knew I was going to cry?" Even after so much time, the Doctor still felt chagrined.

"Why else would I give it to you? it cost me eight quid. I just knew I couldn't have a blubbering sidekick, so I had to keep you afloat somehow."

The Doctor scowled. "I was not your sidekick. And I never blubbered."

"Keep telling yourself that—both those things."

"Where are John and Gray this morning?" the Meddler asked.

"Probably still in bed—they had a long night."

The Doctor chose not to ask how the Master came by his information.

The Master flicked the laser fob on and aimed a pulse at the wall. The pulse, which resembled a shining red blob of gel, bounced off two walls before heading back toward the Master. He caught it back in the fob. "Still works decently well. How about that? Have you got another one? We should have a match."

"There's one in my TARDIS," said the Meddler. "If you help me get it back, you can have it."

"The TARDIS?"

"The fob."

"Can't blame me for trying."

"You were always better at laser tag," the Doctor commented, "but I suppose I could have a go. You ought to teach Jack. He'd probably like it."

"Wonder if I could modify this into a laser screwdriver."

"I don't doubt that you could, but I'd rather you didn't."

"When's the _Serenity_ lot getting here? I want to be off."

"Hold on." The Doctor stepped into the control room. "Looks like they're just arriving," he called, looking at the scanner. "Once we're sure everything's ready we can set coordinates."

When they were all assembled in the control room, the Doctor looked around at his friends, all of them well armed. He was surprised to see that River was dressed in leggings and a short tunic and armed with two long, curved knives. She looked much more sinister than he remembered her.

Kaylee led Simon around the room, pointing things out to him. "I don't know what that one does, but I think it's something to do with propulsion…"

"How did you get all this in one little boulder?" Jayne asked, obviously overwhelmed.

"You should see the wardrobe," John told him.

"Okay, everyone," said the Doctor, "we need to land the Tardis as close to the time we left Jack as possible, but we have to be careful not to cross our timeline."

"Are we seriously going to time-travel?" asked Mal.

"If you can keep out of the way," the Master affirmed.

"Master and Meddler, I need you here—John and Gray, you might be useful, too. Wash, I'm sorry, but you've never piloted anything like this, so I think it's a bit out of your depth. But Kaylee, you and River could probably help if you're willing."

The girls nodded.

"Okay, everyone else, please go in the other room to give the seven of us some room to work. Thanks."

"So, we want to land about four days ago," said the Master, cracking his knuckles.

"Three," the Doctor said, "to be on the safe side."

"You want Jack exposed to a whole day of torture?"

"This Tardis has a mind of her own, in case you haven't noticed. She's not easily commanded, even at the best of times."

"Yes, but there are seven of us." The Master began flicking switches.

"What should we do?" asked Kaylee.

"You, my dear, can hold this lever in place—it tends to jump round a bit. And River…" the Doctor paused when he saw River already spinning the dial he was about to ask her to adjust. "Well, you just go on as you are. Gray, you keep an eye on that ion stabilizer. John, hold the temporal perspective steady. Meddler, you home our location, since you're most familiar with the Reaver ship. Master, stop trying to cut it so fine. _Allons-y..."_ He set the engines in motion and the familiar whooshing and high-pitched echo marked their departure.

* * *

><p>Jack woke once again. He vaguely remembered Dair slitting his throat for no apparent reason. When he opened his eyes it began to make sense. His body had open wounds that were knitting back together and Dair was eating something that he suspected had come from them. He groaned.<p>

"You want a piece of me?" he asked dryly. He held his breath to listen as he caught the sound of shrieks and screams coming from elsewhere on the ship.

Dair looked toward the doorway and licked his lips thoughtfully.

"They just landed for a raid, didn't they? You didn't go with them."

"My Jack," Dair said simply.

"You were afraid someone would try to steal me? Guess I am sort of a rare commodity. Endless food supply, endless pleasure. Thanks for killing me before you tucked in this time."

Dair held a bloody hand out to Jack. "Eat."

"No, I'm definitely not cannibalizing myself. You go ahead if you have to. I'll be fine."

To Jack's relief, Dair didn't press the issue.

_Dair, my, mine, Jack, eat,_ Jack reviewed. _He's getting quite a vocabulary._

Dair crawled across the floor to retrieve something near the door and brought it back to Jack.

"Is that…?" Jack propped himself up and shook the material out with his free hand. "Bless your savage heart, you found my pants. If I give you some really good sex, can I put them on after?"

Dair gave him something close to a smile and pressed his mouth against Jack's.

Jack pulled back Dair's rough clothing and employed his considerable skill to arouse his captor.

Dair kissed him more deeply, but he didn't bite. He moved his mouth down, licking the place on Jack's neck where he had cut him not long ago. Then he moved further down to lick the places he had cut on Jack's chest and stomach.

Jack shivered and pulled Dair's neck gently, encouraging him. "That's good," he told him softly. He felt Dair's teeth graze him very lightly. "Easy. That's it."

Dair reached down with his hand to stroke Jack firmly.

Jack gasped. "Now you're getting it. Easy…"

A few minutes later, they were both out of breath. Jack kissed his keeper's neck. "That was so much better," he said quietly. "Thanks. Listen… I've got a friend. You know what a friend is, right? Someone you trust? He's coming to get me."

Dair growled menacingly.

"It's okay—I'll take you with me. Now that I'm sure you can get better there's no way I'd leave you here. He'll take us both away where we'll be safe."

Dair looked like he didn't know what to think of that.

"It'll be all right," Jack assured him. "I don't know how many people will be with him, but whatever happens, I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise."

Dair pulled his skin clothing back on and moved back to let Jack put on his pants.

"Thanks," Jack said. "It's been a while since I went commando, but it's a hell of a lot better than nothing right now." The button had been torn out but the zipper still worked. Jack instantly felt warmer and somewhat comforted when the pants were in place. "Don't suppose you know where my shirt is?"

Dair shrugged. He leaned back against Jack's ribcage and took out his knife.

Jack tensed as he wondered how Dair would choose to slice him up this time. But to his surprise Dair made a small cut on his own arm instead.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

Dair licked his blood away and looked at the cut as the bleeding slowed. He made a larger cut next to the first.

"Don't do that," Jack said urgently. "You don't heal instantly like I do." He put his hand on Dair's arm. "Please, don't hurt yourself. That's what I'm here for, right? Cut me instead."

Again Dair surprised him by offering him the knife. "Cut me."

Jack felt a twinge in his chest. "No..." _This is backward… you're supposed to torture me. What's wrong with you?_ "I can't."

Dair ran his fingers over Jack's face, neck and chest. "Jack," he said quietly. "Hurt me."

Tears formed in Jack's eyes and his breathing accelerated. He felt hot and the squirm in his chest was getting more uncomfortable. "I can't," he repeated. "Please, don't ask me to hurt you." He pulled himself up beside Dair and put his arm around him. "I don't ever want to hurt you."

"Jack. Jack…"

"What is it?" Jack stroked Dair's face and searched his eyes.

"My friend?"

Jack smiled. "Yeah. That's right. That's why I don't want to hurt you. I'm your friend. You can trust me."

"I want you to."

"Why? Why would you want that? I don't want you to be in pain—I want you to be happy." He kissed Dair's neck and gave him a squeeze.

"Bite me," Dair said, sounding frustrated.

"No."

With a growl Dair took his own advice and bore down on Jack's shoulder. Jack grunted and blinked away tears of pain. He maintained his tight hold on Dair and waited for the pain to go away.

"I'm sorry, Dair. I'll give you everything, but I can't hurt you. You're all I have."

Dair pushed Jack to the floor again and bit his face as his hands worked over Jack's chest. Soon he pulled back the pants he'd allowed Jack to wear so briefly and took him brutally.

Jack felt numb. It was as if his nerves had given up trying to deliver all their messages of pain. He knew he was hurting and he could hear himself screaming, but his mind felt dead. None of it meant anything anymore.

* * *

><p>"First, second and third—check," the Master declared when they landed. "How's fifth, Meddler?"<p>

"Looks right," the Meddler answered. "What about fourth, Doctor?"

The Doctor looked over his readings. "Hold on, I'm calculating."

"Heaven help us," the Master muttered.

"Shut up." The Doctor put on his glasses and checked the instruments.

"Can I let go of this now?" Kaylee asked.

"Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Um, it looks like it's about two weeks since we left Jack. Twelve days, minimum."

"Damn it, you should have let me try to get us closer," the Master snapped.

"Wouldn't make a difference—as I said, she has a mind of her own. Especially where the fourth dimension is concerned. And she has an unshakeable aversion to Jack."

"Really? Nice of you to tell us now. So, what do we do? Are we too late?"

"If I can survive ten years, Jack can survive two weeks," said Gray.

"But they'll treat him worse than they did you," John pointed out. "Beings who live for torture let loose on someone who heals instantly? Every moment's hell."

"Jack is strong," said the Doctor. "He knows we're coming. And I honestly don't think we're likely to do better than this. We're here now, and we're part of this time stream. We can't just try again over and over."

The Master sighed. "Don't tell me we're trying to play by the rules…"

"It's always safer that way. Now, I'm not going to argue. Gray, what do you think?"

Gray looked at the Doctor. "I think… you're right. If we can't be sure of getting it right next time, this is as good as we're likely to do. Let's go now and not take a chance."

John nodded. "Sounds right to me."

"Captain Reynolds," the Doctor called, "we're about ready." He glanced over the scanner as the others came back to the control room. "It looks like we're in that first long chamber we went through on our previous visit. I don't see any sign of anyone about. I'll put up the force field so we can go out of the Tardis safely. Then we'll decide how to go about this."

The Master took up the laser fob and a quarterstaff he must have found in the wardrobe. "Commence the assault."

"Let's get going," said Jayne.

"That's what he said," Kaylee told him with a disparaging look.

The Doctor double-checked the force field to be sure of its stability; then he took out his sonic screwdriver and opened the Tardis doors.

_We're coming for you, Jack. Just a little longer, my friend._

* * *

><p><em>More story coming soon... just a little longer, my friends. ;p Would like to hear your thoughts.<br>_


	34. Reunited

_Mature content: Compared to the last few, it's mild. ;)_

_Spoilers: Major Doctor Who series 4 spoiler_

_Hope you enjoy this; a bit longer than the last couple._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirty-four: Reunited_  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack rubbed his face wearily and turned to see why Dair had gotten up. Then he heard a dull boom and felt a light tremor shake the room. "Is someone firing on us?" he asked.<p>

Without answering, Dair went to the doorway and called out to the other Reavers passing by. A minute later he pulled one inside and Jack recognized her as the woman who had joined him and Dair in the unwelcome threesome. He shut the door and bolted it. Then he and the woman crouched on the floor, holding their weapons ready.

"If it's the Doctor, he's not leaving without me," Jack said more bravely than he felt. "You'd do better to surrender."

Dair growled at him sharply.

"And if it's not him, you might want to let me free so I can help you. I don't want you to get killed, you know."

The woman uttered some unintelligible sounds and Dair responded to her. Jack wished he could understand what they were saying.

There was another explosive noise and the ship shook again.

"Dair, let me free. Please; I want to help."

Dair ignored him.

Jack licked his lips. _If it is the Doctor, he didn't come alone. Attacking isn't his style. God, I hope it's him, though._

* * *

><p>"What was that?" asked Kaylee.<p>

Another boom and the ship rattled again, shaking the storage compartment-shaped Tardis.

"It's like the ship's under attack," the Doctor said, scanning the room with his sonic screwdriver.

"Let's not wait about," said the Master. "Let's spread out and find Jack."

"I think we'll be much safer if we stick together," said John.

"Here they come," Mal announced.

The Doctor looked up to see several Reavers entering the chamber. When they saw the intruders, the Reavers set up a roar to alert the others.

"So much for the element of surprise," said Zoe.

"Don't worry; they can't get to us while the force field is up," said the Doctor. "Gray, can you tell them we won't hurt them if they surrender?"

"No," Gray said immediately. "They wouldn't understand. And even if they could understand it, I wouldn't bother. They'd never surrender."

"I just think it's better to offer them a chance."

"This is no time for mercy," said the Master. "We've got our friend to save and a TARDIS to repossess. Take the force field down. The longer I look at this lot, the more I want to dispatch them."

"I won't have you going killer on me."

"Then what the hell did I _come_ for? I don't hear you telling anyone else not to kill them."

"They're not my responsibility."

The Master groaned and swore under his breath in Gallifreyan.

Catching sudden movement in his peripheral vision, the Doctor turned to see Gray and River moving toward John. _What are they…?_ Gray grabbed John's arm and flipped open his vortex manipulator.

"Gray, don't!" the Doctor shouted. He saw John struggle for just a moment; then he, Gray and River disappeared.

They reappeared a moment later behind the horde of Reavers.

"They're outside the force field," Kaylee said with concern.

"Get it down now, Doctor!" said the Master.

Slowly coming out of his surprise, the Doctor moved back toward the Tardis. He had to take the force field down. Gray might be killed and Jack would never forgive him. They would have to take their chances.

He stumbled forward as the ship shook once more. _What is Gray trying to achieve? Why did he want to get away from us? And why did River go with him?_ He reached the controls and lowered the force field. Then he dashed outside and locked the Tardis before the Reavers had realized that the invisible barrier was gone.

John, Gray and River were disappearing down one of the side passages.

_He said he thought he'd been on this ship before,_ the Doctor realized. _Maybe he's looking for a particular Reaver to take revenge on. Or maybe he wants to find Jack first—maybe he knows where he's likely to be. But if he does find him first… what's he planning?_

* * *

><p>"'How's your VM work, John? Like this?' Too bloody clever, damn you!"<p>

It was easy for Gray to see that John wasn't happy with him. He could also tell that he was a bit worried about being cut off from the others. But as soon as River began defending them, he forgot his fears.

"My god, who trained you?" John asked, gawking at the slim girl as she cut down one Reaver after another.

"Come on," said Gray, pulling John down the passageway as River followed them, moving backward to fend off the Reavers who tried to follow. "The prisoners will be below decks."

"How do we know we're going the right way?"

"We are. Trust me."

A Reaver appeared ahead of them and John reacted instantly. The Reaver hit the floor with a bullet from one of John's twin guns between its eyes.

"Nice shot," Gray commented.

At the end of the passage they reached a stairwell and Gray started down it. River waited until he and John reached the bottom; then she descended a few steps, vaulted the rail and landed on her feet beside them.

"What age are you?" John asked her. "When this is over, we need to get together for a drink…"

"Shut up, John."

They continued down a hallway. Now and then a Reaver jumped out at them from a side door and one of them would cut it down or shoot it.

"You should check those rooms for prisoners," said Gray. "I'll find Jack."

"You can't go off by yourself."

"There aren't as many of them down here—they're all topside manning the guns or fighting our party."

After a moment's hesitation, John held out his unused pistol to Gray. "Take this. And be careful."

"I will."

John pulled Gray close and kissed him. Then Gray went on alone, leaving River to protect John as he looked for hostages to free.

_He'll be down here… in that little room off the side passage. It was somewhere down this way._ Gray quickened his steps. _It's the most out-of-the-way little corner on the ship. Best place to keep something away from other Reavers. Whoever claimed him will be sure to have him there…_ He came to a longer side passage and hurried down it.

_There it is. That same dark gray door._ Gray felt a cold shiver make its way down his spine. Images of his keepers flooded his memory along with sensations of pain and disgust. He paused by the door, breathing hard. Then he tried waving his hand in front of the door's sensor. The door clicked, but it had been bolted from the inside. Before he could decide what to do next, an angry shriek from behind the door made him jump. He struggled to calm himself. His hands were shaking.

"Jack," he called. "Are you in there?"

Then he could hear the voices of two Reavers snarling at him. He wondered if there were more. Then he thought he heard another voice—a more human-sounding one. _Could that be Jack?_

"Jack, stay down. I'm going to try to hit the bolt." Gray put his pistol against the door at the usual height for the bolt on a door of that sort and fired.

The door remained closed. The Reavers inside sounded more agitated than ever, but he could also hear the other voice. He strained to hear, shutting out the sound of the Reavers' shrieks.

_What is he saying? High? It was too high?_ He lowered his gun an inch and fired again.

Then he heard another snarl, this time behind him. He turned in time to shoot his assailant in the side. The Reaver fell to the floor, but it reached out to take him by the ankle, digging in with its long nails. Gray fired again, shooting the Reaver through the skull.

He had no time to recover before a female Reaver lunged through the door at him. He ducked to the side, but her long blade cut his through his sleeve and his arm began to throb. When she came at him again he caught her wrist in its downward swing and used her momentum against her until the knife's tip was buried in her own belly. She uttered a piercing howl. He fired the gun at her chest and she dropped in front of him.

Only then did he look through the doorway and see the strange sight of another Reaver struggling to get at him, held back by none other than Jack, who had a precarious hold on its wrist.

Bellowing in frustration the Reaver fell back to slash at Jack's arm, trying to get loose. Gray aimed carefully. He knew that this gun of John's came from 19th century America, and he had only one shot left. After that he would have only his knife.

"No, Gray!" Jack shouted. His arm was bleeding profusely, but he doggedly held on to the Reaver. "Please, don't hurt him. He was taken as a child, like you. He doesn't understand. Please."

Gray hesitated. _He's better off dead. I wished I was dead. If he's this far gone he probably can't get better._ But even as he wondered what to do, he saw the Reaver stop fighting and let Jack pull him into his arms.

"It's okay," Jack told him. "I won't let them hurt you. I promise you'll be all right."

Gray lowered the gun marginally. "You're all right?" he asked.

Jack stared at him a moment. "Is the Doctor here?"

"Yes. And John and the Master—everyone came." Gray felt as if there were a heavy stone in his stomach. _I'm probably the last person he wanted to see._

"Okay. Everything will be okay."

Gray wasn't sure if Jack was talking to him or to the Reaver or to himself. "I… want you to know that I'm sorry," he said, looking Jack over. He hadn't really looked at Jack until now, hadn't taken in all the changes since they were young. Jack had two weeks' growth of beard on his face and he looked tired and dirty. Strangely enough, he was wearing his pants. Gray hadn't expected the Reavers to allow him that luxury.

Tears were running down Jack's face and into the hair of the Reaver he was holding. "It's okay," he said quietly. "I'm sorry, too."

"It wasn't your fault. I just didn't understand." Gray's throat was tightening. _Got to end this._ "You'll be okay now. The others are coming. Just hold on." He lifted the gun to his temple.

"No! Gray, don't!"

Gray felt something hit the back of his arm and his wrist snapped forward. The gun went off before it left his hand and fell to the floor. He felt his arm being pulled up behind his back as Jack cradled the Reaver in his arms.

"Dair, I've got you. Just lie still. It'll be okay." Jack pressed his hands against the Reaver's bleeding shoulder where the shot had hit him.

_Dair? Oh, my god…_ Gray sank to his knees, barely aware of River's strong grip on him. _That can't be Dair. And now I've shot him. Should have killed him. Should have killed myself. _"Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," he heard himself saying.

"I know. Please, Gray… please, don't leave me."

John came to the doorway and took in the scene. "Well. Hullo, everyone. Sorry I'm late. Recap?"

* * *

><p>They were holding their own, but there were still dozens of Reavers facing them. The Doctor hung back and tried not to watch the fighting. The Master was proving uncommonly skilled in battle, blinding Reavers with the laser fob and knocking them senseless with his quarterstaff. When it finally snapped under a particularly hard blow from a Reaver blade, he swung both pieces of the staff around with astonishing speed and deadly accuracy.<p>

The Doctor remembered a naïve time in his youth when he had once told someone, "I never kill anything! Neither do my friends." He had been less than 500 years old then.

The ship continued to shake periodically until the whole thing rocked suddenly, throwing off the artificial gravity for a moment. Nearly everyone lost their footing. Then the Doctor heard a hiss behind him and he turned to see the ship's airlock opening. The ship was being boarded. A troop of human-looking people rushed in, led by a blonde woman.

The Doctor stared, trying to make sense of what was going on. He was relieved that the newcomers seemed to be on their side. The woman hesitated only a moment.

"Stop in the name of the Alliance!" Neither side heeded her, so she shouted, "Fire on the Reavers!"

After that the battle didn't last long. The Reavers fought to the last man—and woman—until they were all lying dead on the floor.

"Thanks for the help," Mal told the woman, grudgingly, the Doctor thought. He knew Mal wasn't fond of the Alliance or its representatives.

"No trouble. All in the line of duty…" the woman stopped when her eyes fell on the Doctor. "You. It is you! Oh, sweet rutabaga, it's you!"

The Doctor gaped as the young woman ran toward him. He opened his arms to receive her. "Jenny! My word, Jenny—how are you alive?" He completely forgot his decorum and squeezed Jenny nearly to death as a human would have. "You didn't regenerate… and how did you get here? To this time?"

Jenny squealed in excitement and picked up her feet so the Doctor was holding her off the ground. "New planet, life force floating round woke me up—I took their rocket and -WHOOSH!- and then I traveled round a lot and did a lot of running and then I got sucked into a time-thingy and ended up here and got a job for the Alliance and I can't believe it's really you!"

The Doctor set her down carefully, feeling weak with happiness. He kissed her neck and squeezed her again.

"Um… care to enlighten us?" the Master asked.

"Yes. Sorry." The Doctor turned to the others, wiping away a tear of joy. "Jenny, that's the Master. He's another of my kind. And so's the Meddler there. That's Captain Reynolds of the _Serenity_, and his crew is Wash, Zoe, Jayne, Kaylee and Simon." He pointed everyone out in turn. "Everyone, this is Jenny. My daughter."

Everyone stared blankly except the Master, whose eyes bugged widely.

"Your _daughter?_ What the hell?"

"Oi, don't talk like that in front of her."

"Oh, I'm a lieutenant in the Alliance—I've heard much worse," Jenny protested.

"If she's your daughter," said the Master, "is she a…?"

"Are Martha and Donna with you?" asked Jenny.

"No. No, they…" the Doctor paused. "Oh, god, Jack! Come on!"

"Now who's swearing?" the Master snapped.

They all rushed in the direction Gray had taken John and River.

"More running!" Jenny said, grinning at the Doctor.

"Right you are, more running!" he replied. His joy at recovering Jenny was somewhat eclipsed by his worry for Jack. _Is he okay? Is he even here? What's Gray doing?_

"This is why the Tardis landed us here after two weeks," the Master said, cutting into his thoughts. "To get us here in time to meet her."

"Oh… lord, I think you're right." _Why didn't I think of that?_

"Course, I'm right. I'm bloody brilliant."

"You were right, Dad," Jenny exclaimed. "He is 'one of your kind.'"

"Oh, stop it," the Doctor scolded. "Cheeky."

In another minute they found the smaller room where John and Jack were working to stop Dair's wound from bleeding and River was keeping careful watch to make sure Gray didn't try again to kill himself. Everyone crowded around, everyone wanting to touch Jack, but everyone afraid of frightening him.

"Give him room," Gray said suddenly. "Everybody clear out and let him talk to the Doctor."

Two of Jenny's men helped John lift Dair and carry him out the door.

"I've sedated him," John told them. "He needs that wound treated immediately."

"We'll take care of him," one of the men answered.

Everyone else filtered away from the room and Gray shut the door halfway behind them. Their voices died away in the hall.

"Jack," the Doctor said, approaching his friend slowly and kneeling beside him. "Jack, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Jack was trembling. "They won't hurt Dair, will they? I promised him." His chest heaved and his eyes glazed over. "I promised him and he got hurt… It's my fault."

"Jack, come on—we've got to get you out of here. I wanted to find you myself but Gray had his own plans… I'm sorry I took so long." He held his hand out.

Jack stared at the Doctor's hand and then reached up slowly to take it. His hand felt cold in the Doctor's. "Doctor… it's really you?"

"I'm here, Jack."

Jack sighed heavily and leaned over to rest his head against the Doctor's chest. "I knew you'd come."

The Doctor put his arms around Jack, taking care not to move suddenly or grip him too tightly. He kissed Jack's head and closed his eyes. "Jack. My Jack."

Jack squirmed suddenly, pulling away.

"Hey, it's all right," the Doctor said, holding his arms open again. "Have I done something wrong?"

Jack was shaking harder than ever. "N-no… just… please don't say that."

"Okay. I'm sorry. Here, let's get that chain off you, shall we?"

The chain was no longer attached to the wall—John had most likely cut it or shot it. The Doctor used his sonic screwdriver to unclasp the manacle. "There. Better?"

Jack rubbed his wrist briefly before embracing the Doctor again. "Thanks."

"Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry. How can I help?"

"Just stay here. Don't move."

The Doctor obliged. "I swore I'd never abandon you again," he said sadly. "And I left you to this."

"You did what I asked you to do. You kept Gray safe. He's okay, right? They won't let him hurt himself? Doctor, he was going to—" Jack's voice broke and he sobbed.

"Shh, it's all right now. River's with him; he'll be all right." The Doctor rubbed Jack's back lightly. "Tell me about this other fellow—is he a friend?"

"He was my keeper."

The Doctor remembered the Reaver Gray had mutilated, saying he was his keeper. The one he had hated so much. "Your keeper? But… didn't he hurt you, then? Didn't he torture you?"

"Yes." Jack kissed the Doctor's neck. "He's not like them, though. He's a convert. He can get better."

"Are you sure of that? Maybe you've got a case of Stockholm."

"I'm sure because he's already gotten better. At first he wouldn't speak to me, but then he told me his name." Jack's voice was tight. The shaking didn't seem to be subsiding. "And he knows my name and he's said lots of stuff now…. He's remembering. Please, we have to take him with us. We can't leave him here."

The Doctor felt sick at the thought of taking one of Jack's torturers, someone who had killed, raped and cannibalized him, onboard the Tardis. "Jack, he's not safe."

"I'm not leaving without him."

There was a finality in Jack's voice that the Doctor knew would not be dissuaded. "All right… we'll talk it over more in a little bit when you're feeling better." He stroked Jack's rough face. "I've got someone for you to meet when you're up to it."

"I can't meet anyone like this," Jack protested. "Give me a chance to clean up, for god's sake."

The Doctor smiled. _It's still Jack. No one can keep you down._ "All right, I'll try to smuggle you back to the Tardis before she gets a proper look at you. Tell you what: I'll take her and the Meddler to find his TARDIS—that's what the time travel device was, by the way… there's so much to tell you. Anyway, while I'm doing that, John and the Master can get you back to the Tardis, okay?"

"I… I don't know. Can't you stay with me?"

"If you need me to."

"I don't want to be with him."

"What? Who?"

"The Master," Jack said, sounding to the Doctor a little like a frightened child.

"Oh…" _Of course. The Master tortured him. He killed him and laughed about getting to kill him again. No, I suppose I wouldn't want to see him either._ "All right. I'll send the Master to look for the Meddler's TARDIS then, and I'll go with you. How's that?"

"Okay. That's good."

"All right then. I'll go and let them know. I'll be right back." _Don't panic. I'm not leaving you for long this time. _The Doctor wished he could make his friend feel safe. He eased away from Jack, kissing his head one more time. "I love you, Jack."

It took Jack a moment to respond. "I love you, too."

* * *

><p>"You can be rather commanding when you choose," John commented to Gray as they watched Simon and Jenny's medical team working on Dair.<p>

"Sure. I've always known how to clear a room. If people were paying too much attention to Jack I'd just say I thought I was going to throw up and suddenly I'd have my parents all to myself."

John laughed. "That's not quite what I meant…. Are you sure he wants to be alone with the Doctor? Won't he want to see the Master and the rest of us?"

"Not yet," Gray said firmly. "When someone goes through this kind of torture, he wants to be with the one person he knows will never hurt him. For me, that was you. For Jack, it's the Doctor."

River took Gray's hand and rubbed his arm. "Simon will take care of this," she said, running her fingers around the cut he had received.

"It doesn't matter."

"No," River said firmly. She put her hand on the side of his face and turned him toward her. "Jack doesn't want you to die."

"Gray…" _He's planning to kill himself?_ John took Gray's other hand. "She's right. Jack loves you more than anything. And he can't die. If you do away with yourself it will make him impossibly frustrated that he can't follow you. He needs you right now more than ever, to help him get through this."

"How can I help him? When he looks at me he remembers what I did to him. If he thinks he loves me, he's lying to himself. I'm the reason he stayed here—if he's honest with himself, he'll want me dead."

"He was here just two weeks. He's bad off, but he's still got his wits and he still loves you. I know he does." John put his arms around Gray. "And I love you, too. Please, don't think of killing yourself anymore. It will be hard, but you've got to decide you're going to live and face this. Help Jack understand that you don't hate him anymore. It will do him so much good to be able to just talk with you again. Please, try."

Gray lost his rigidity and hugged John in return. After a moment he whispered, "I'll try. I don't know how I can help, but I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking." John kissed Gray's temple. "Good man." He looked up. "Say, who is that girl, anyway? I love a blonde. I need blonde."

"She's the Doctor's daughter," said River.

"His daughter? How d'you know that?"

"It's all she's thinking about."

John felt slightly uneasy. He wondered how accurate River's mind-reading ability was. _Wonder if she's read my thoughts. Wonder if she knows the way I think about some people… including her. And her brother… Oh, cripes, I'm doing it now._ He glanced at River and saw her giving him a piercing stare. "Sorry," he muttered.

River gave a small laugh. Then she walked away to where a handful of hostages were having their injuries treated.

_What was that laugh for?_ John shook his head. She probably hadn't been reading his thoughts at all.

* * *

><p><em>Reunited at last-Jack and his friends, Jenny and her dad. xD Comment away.<em>


	35. Cleaning Up

_More spoilers for the DW episode "The Doctor's Daughter."_

_No major adult content. Hope you like it. :)_

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><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirty-five: Cleaning Up_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"How is he?" the Master asked urgently. "Can I see him?"<p>

The Doctor licked his lips. "He'll be all right, but it will take a lot of time, I'm afraid. I'm sorry, but he doesn't want to see you yet."

"Did he say so?" the Master asked, sounding surprised.

"Yes, he did. You mustn't take it to heart, though. He's not himself right now."

The Master's face darkened. "You did this to him. How the hell could you leave him like that?"

"Don't. I didn't want to leave him. Let's stop worrying about the things we can't change now."

The Master turned away angrily.

"Master, the best thing you can do for Jack right now is to give him the space he needs. He's very resilient; I'm sure he'll be much better soon."

"What if he… doesn't ever want to see me again?"

The Doctor had never heard such uncertainty from the Master. He approached him slowly and laid a hand on his arm. "I'm sure it's not as bad as all that. We just need to reassure him that he's safe. Once he feels secure again, he'll want to see you."

The Master nodded, still not turning toward him.

"Listen, for now I have something very important I want you to do for me. I'm sure Jenny would like to help the Meddler find his TARDIS. I'd like you to go along and keep an eye on her. And take Gray along, too. He needs to keep busy. Can you do that?"

"Yes." The Master turned back to look at the others standing around the passageway. "Your daughter—is she a Timelord?"

"Not exactly. She can't regenerate."

"Is she… well, is she your natural-born daughter?"

The Doctor shook his head. "She's a sort of clone."

"Not hardly—she's a girl."

"Yes, yes," the Doctor said impatiently. "She's made from human materials and my DNA pattern scrambled."

"And what made you decide to have that done?"

"I didn't. I'd just arrived on a planet and the people there stuck my hand in this cloning machine that took a tissue sample, and—there she was."

The Master looked amused. "So… she's sort of your rape child."

"Not at all! Don't you dare say anything of the kind to her."

"All right. I wouldn't. I've no reason to antagonize her. You say it's your DNA pattern? How'd she end up so fetching?"

"Oh, stop."

"Are you sure she can't regenerate? There's no good way to test it."

"She died. And then after I'd left the planet, the life force that had been left there to make it habitable brought her back to life."

"I see. Well, maybe she just didn't know what to do. I mean, we've got the benefit of centuries' training."

"And the influence of the schism," the Doctor reminded him.

"Oh, details. We could teach her. It's worth a try anyway, don't you think?"

"I don't know. One thing at a time, eh?"

"Right." The Master went to Jenny who was getting acquainted with the Meddler.

The Doctor went to John. "How is Dair?" he asked him.

"He's stable. He'll be asleep for a few hours. Don't know what we'll do with him once he wakes up." John glanced at Gray, who was standing near Dair and watching him intently. "Gray seems to know him. I haven't asked, though."

"Time for that later. Right now, I'd like you to come with me. I need to get Jack back to the Tardis. I think he'll tolerate your presence better than the others right now."

"Really? If you say so." John followed the Doctor back to the room where they had found Jack.

Jack was sitting with his back to the wall, watching the door. He visibly relaxed when his eyes met the Doctor's. Then his gaze shifted onto John.

John retrieved the gun Gray had dropped and slipped it into his empty holster. Then he twisted the leather keepers into place. "You look like hell, Jack," he commented.

_Don't talk to him like that!_ the Doctor thought, horrified.

But Jack showed a hint of a smile. "Well… that's where I've been lately. Comparatively, you look pretty good right now."

John grinned. "Thank you. Want to borrow my jacket until we get you to the Tardis?"

"Too small," Jack scoffed.

The Doctor kept quiet. He had forgotten that John had known Jack longer—and probably better. He helped Jack to his feet.

"Take it anyway," John said, pulling his jacket off. "You don't have to button it—I never do."

Jack took the jacket and shrugged it on, smirking at how tightly it fit around his shoulders. "Thanks." He reached out, hesitated and then pulled John into a hug. "It is good to see you."

"You, too. God, I missed you. We were worried sick." John didn't return the embrace, but he rested his head on Jack's shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Jack moved back to kiss John lightly on the lips.

The Doctor took a look out the door. The Master, the Meddler, Jenny and Gray were nowhere in sight. River seemed to have gone with them, too. "Jack, you don't mind a few men in uniform, do you?"

"Not if they're on our side."

"They are. Let's go."

As the Doctor and John escorted Jack back toward the Tardis, one of Jenny's subordinates approached them.

"One of the scouts found these, sir—are they yours?" He held up a pair of boots.

Jack nodded and gave him a weak smile. "Thank you."

John took the boots and slung them over his shoulder. "Thanks, mate. We should get together later."

"Time and place," the Doctor muttered. _John's even worse than Jack… worse than Jack was before, that is. Who knows if he'll ever be his cocky self again?_

Once in the Tardis John set Jack's boots on the floor. "I'll get your coat for you—it missed you."

Jack smiled a little at John as he left. Then he looked around the control room. "For some reason I thought it would look different. But it's just the same." He grasped the front of John's jacket and looked down at it. "This thing's really not my style. Hope he's taken good care of mine."

"Actually, Gray has," said the Doctor.

"Gray? Really?"

"He's been using it for a blanket at night. Can't sleep without it."

Jack stared at the Doctor as if he couldn't comprehend his words. "What… do you mean?"

"He's a lot better. In fact, I've never seen such a complete transformation in a human. He never says a word against you. When he does say anything, he's expressing sorrow over hurting you." The Doctor paused. Jack was breathing hard and looked almost as if he were in pain. _I hope I didn't give him more than he can handle,_ he worried.

"Doctor… he's going to be all right?" Jack took the Doctor by the arms and looked at him earnestly.

"He's not completely well yet, but he's doing so much better. Now we've got you back, I'm sure he'll make more progress." Seeing tears in his friend's eyes, the Doctor gently tugged him forward. "It's all right, Jack."

Jack hugged the Doctor tightly. "It's all I've wanted for so long… just for him to be okay again." He loosened his hold. "Sorry… I'm squeezing again."

"Oh, go ahead and squeeze." The Doctor rubbed Jack's back and kissed his face. "Come on, let's get you washed up. You can use my bath if you'd like."

"I thought you didn't want me in your room. You're going to have to remodel…"

"I don't care anymore," the Doctor said quickly. "It's not the least bit important. Anyway, you were right—why have two armchairs if I don't intend to let anyone in? Come on."

Jack looked much less uneasy now that they were walking down the Tardis's familiar corridors. He had stopped shaking and he didn't look around for danger as much. When the Doctor opened his door and they entered his private quarters, Jack headed for the bathroom and paused.

"Do you need any help?" the Doctor asked uncertainly.

Jack shook his head. "No. I'd just rather you stayed with me. You don't have to, though… I'll be fine."

"I can. It's all right." The Doctor returned to Jack's side and accompanied him into the bathroom.

Jack chose the oversized porcelain tub rather than the walk-in closet-type shower stall. He sat on the rim of the tub and started the water running, holding his hand under the faucet. He scooped up some water and drank it from his hand.

"I didn't think to ask if you were hungry or thirsty."

"A little of both, but I'll be fine for now."

The Doctor pulled a stool over to the tub and sat by it, wondering what to say. He wanted to help Jack relax, but he didn't want to irritate him with a lot of talking.

Jack surveyed the rack hanging off the side of the tub. "You sure don't hold back on accessories, do you? Soap, loofa, back scrubber, wash cloth, shampoo…"

"Well, why should I? It's like a well-stocked tea chest. The simplest comforts are sometimes the most important."

Jack smiled slightly and nodded. "Yeah." He began taking off John's jacket.

"I'll get some towels out of the cabinet for you," the Doctor offered. He got up and moved away to let Jack undress in relative privacy. He took his time selecting two large towels and wandered back after he heard the water stop running.

Jack leaned against the side of the tub and closed his eyes for a moment. "You have no idea how good this feels."

The Doctor smiled. Then he heard the faint sound of a knock from the other room. "That's probably John," he said. "I'll be right back."

"You won't let him in, will you?" Jack asked.

"Heavens, no. I don't mind you in here, but he's another case entirely." He picked up John's jacket and headed back through the bedroom.

John was waiting with Jack's coat over his arm. "How's he doing?"

"He seems calm for the moment. I think it's best to distract him for now." The Doctor took Jack's coat and handed the Napoleonic jacket back to John.

"May I come in?"

"I'm sorry, no."

"What am I to do, then? I'll go mad just waiting."

"He'll need something to eat soon. Could you get something for him?"

"Yes, of course. Right away." John immediately hurried down the hall at a jog.

The Doctor relocked his door and went back into the bathroom where he laid Jack's coat over a towel rack.

"There's a sight for sore eyes," said Jack. His hair was white and foamy with shampoo.

The Doctor smiled. "You look like a shampooing advert."

"Can't help it—I did a lot of ads in my day. Shampoo, soap, deodorant, breakfast cereal, sporting goods… all kinds of stuff."

The Doctor went back to sit by the tub. Seeing that there was still a lot of dried blood on Jack's neck and back, he took up a cloth. "Mind if I give you a hand?" he asked.

Jack shot a quick look at him. "Okay," he agreed.

Moving slowly, the Doctor dipped the cloth in the soapy water and began wiping away the dark, sticky substance. He paused to switch on the tub's filtering system. "This'll clean the water a bit," he explained. The water had gained a dull rusty hue from the dirt and blood dissolved in it.

"It's like a Jacuzzi."

A little later Jack made a small sound and the Doctor leaned forward to see his face; he was smiling. "What is it?"

"I just… had a funny thought."

"Do I want to know?"

Jack's smile grew slightly. "It's just that you're so gentle."

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know. But it kind of reminds me of my mother."

"Oh… okay. And is that a compliment in this case?"

"It is in any case. But frankly, she's the person I'd most like to be with right now. She always treated me like I was fragile when I was little. When I had a part in a satellite show she never let me do any of my own stunts, even though they weren't very dangerous."

The Doctor rinsed the wash cloth in the water and resumed his task. "She must have had a fit when you joined the Time Agency."

"Well… I was the man of the house then. Everything changed after my dad died and Gray disappeared."

"I'm about done here," the Doctor said, thinking it would be good to change the subject before Jack thought too much about Gray.

"Okay." Jack bent forward to rinse his hair under the faucet.

"I'll get you a dressing gown to borrow." The Doctor went back to his bedroom and opened the wardrobe. "Maroon… green—why did I keep that one? Blue…" He selected a long, soft blue robe and returned to the bathroom.

Jack had one towel wrapped around his waist and was using the other to dry his hair while the tub drained. He looked up warily when the Doctor came back in, but relaxed immediately. "That's a really nice bathtub."

"Thanks. I think it's a 33rd century—rather expensive model, too. But, as you've observed, I don't hold back on the simple comforts."

"Yeah, but you also never have any money. So I have to wonder…"

The Doctor held out the robe to Jack who took it and slung it around his shoulders. "This is nice too. Thanks."

"Yes, it's one of my favorites."

"So, where's Dair? We can put the Master somewhere else and let Dair have his room. Or Gray's. Or do you have another room with a good locking system? 'Cause I guarantee he'll be trying to get out."

"Jack…" the Doctor looked around the room as if some eloquent words would appear before him. "Wouldn't it be better to let him go?"

"What, just turn him loose somewhere? He'd go wherever there are humans and attack them. He'd get killed the first time around, by himself."

"Well, maybe we could leave him at an institution or something."

"They wouldn't know what to do with him. They'd have to keep him sedated all the time to keep him from killing anyone who tried to get near him. They wouldn't understand him."

"Do you understand him?"

"Yes."

The Doctor looked for any sign of doubt on Jack's face, but there was none. He sighed. "What if he got loose? What if he hurt you again? I couldn't bear that. And Gray—the whole reason you did this was to keep the Reavers from getting Gray again. Now you want to bring one of them right into the Tardis with us?"

"He's not one of them. He's not."

Jack's voice sounded strange to the Doctor. Pleading.

"It's all right, Jack. I only want to be sure you're safe."

"I can't leave him. We can't leave without him. Please."

The Doctor held his arms out and Jack stepped into them. "All right, I'll tell you what," he said quietly. "We'll talk to him when he comes to. I want to see him interact with you. If I think he's too lost a cause, I won't keep him on the Tardis. We'll take him someplace else. But if you can show me he can be human again, I'll see about making other arrangements. Is that fair?"

"Okay," Jack answered heavily. He nestled his cheek against the Doctor's shoulder. "He can learn. I'm sure of it."

The Doctor caressed Jack's head lightly with one hand. "Hey, you need a shave. I'll get a razor for you."

* * *

><p>"You going to just take off and go now?" the Master asked the Meddler in his TARDIS.<p>

The Meddler shook his head. "Not right away. I want to talk to the Doctor some more. I know I can learn a lot from him."

"So, you two are Timelords like my dad," Jenny said slowly, looking around. "And this is a TARDIS. Are there lots of Timelords?"

"No, not anymore," the Master said. He wandered around the control panel, examining it. "We'll give you a nice history lesson once we're all cozy in the Doctor's Tardis… I assume you'll want to go with us."

"Of course!" Jenny said, smiling.

Gray and River waited outside, hand in hand. When the others rejoined them, Jenny received a call on her radio.

"Yes, Sergeant?"

"The prisoner is coming to, Lieutenant. Shall we sedate him again?"

"Is he restrained?"

"Yes."

"I want to talk to him," Gray put in.

"Leave him conscious," Jenny instructed. "We're on our way back."

"Copy. Over and out."

* * *

><p>"Be careful," River told Gray as he approached the military cot where Dair was tied down.<p>

"I'll be fine."

Dair growled at Gray.

"Easy," Gray said softly. "I won't hurt you. I'm sorry I shot you. It was an accident."

Dair strained against the strong straps that held him.

"You can't get away, so you should stop trying before you hurt yourself worse."

For a moment, Dair continued struggling. Then he became limp and gave a bloodcurdling shriek.

"Hey, stop it."

"Jack," Dair groaned. Then he screamed it. "Jack, my Jack! My Jack!"

"He's not yours!" Gray shouted back.

Dair stopped screaming and stared at Gray, his chest heaving.

"Jack's my brother," Gray said more quietly, coming closer. "Remember I used to tell you about him? I used to say my dad and my brother Jack were going to come save me. Remember that? I said, 'I will never give up.'"

There was silence for about a minute as Dair searched Gray's face and his breathing slowly returned to normal. "I will find you," he whispered.

Gray smiled. "That's right. I remember—that's the last thing you said to us."

"Alena?"

"It's okay; she's dead."

Dair closed his eyes. "Good."

"She was in a lot of pain and we couldn't save her. So my friend John shot her." Gray put his hand over Dair's. "I thought they'd killed you. They took you away so long ago. Like all the others."

"All dead."

"I'm sorry." Gray squeezed Dair's hand. "The medics say you're going to be okay. Do you want to come away with us?"

"I want Jack."

Gray gritted his teeth. He felt the impulse to hit Dair, but he contained it. "You're not yourself, Dair. When you've been safe for a while you'll realize you can own things again and no one will try to take them from you. You can be friends with someone without keeping them tied up."

"I'm tied up."

"That's so you won't hurt anyone, including yourself. We're going to help you."

Dair pulled his hand away and strained as far back from Gray as he could. "I want Jack," he said, breathing hard again. "I want Jack. I want Jack."

Gray backed away. "I don't think he's going to listen to me anymore," he told the Master. "You'd better call John and let him know Dair's awake and asking for Jack."

"You don't really think we should take that wretched creature with us?" The Master asked.

"We can't leave him to himself. It would be kinder to kill him. So we've got to do that or take him along."

"I'm all for the former."

"Fine, but not without Jack's say-so."

* * *

><p>In a new set of clothes from the Doctor's wardrobe, Jack finished up the meal John had brought him. Food had never tasted so good. He looked up when the Doctor came back into the room, but didn't pause his eating.<p>

"John's got a message from the Master. I know you're tired, but Dair is awake and asking for you. He's restrained and there are people all round him. But you don't have to see him yet if you don't want to."

"Will you go with me?"

"Yes, of course. I can introduce you to that person I wanted you to meet while we're at it."

"I forgot. Who is it?"

"Well, it's a bit hard to explain, but she's my daughter."

Jack set his glass down and looked up at the Doctor. "Your… Yeah, I bet it's hard to explain!"

"Now, don't be like that. I'll tell you on the way. Are you ready?"

"I guess so." Jack put on his coat and sighed. "This is so much better."

"You look worlds better," the Doctor agreed. He took Jack's hand and led him from the room.

* * *

><p>Gray and the Master had left the area by the time the Doctor arrived with Jack. He introduced Jack to Jenny.<p>

"Well, it's a good thing you can't regenerate," Jack commented as he shook her hand.

"Why is that?"

"You couldn't possibly be more beautiful than you are now."

Jenny giggled.

"Stop it," the Doctor warned, but he felt relieved at the evidence that Jack had retained his cavalier personality.

"The patient is right through here," Jenny said. She led the way and they entered the chamber where Simon and several orderlies were keeping watch over Dair.

The Doctor stayed close behind Jack as he approached the cot.

"Hello, Dair," Jack said quietly.

Dair's eyes flew open wide and he pulled against his restraints. "Jack."

Jack cringed back momentarily, but then he moved forward again. "Dair, it's okay. We're going to help you. Just hold still."

"You lied, Jack."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. Gray wasn't trying to hit you."

Jack reached out to stroke Dair's face; Dair strained forward suddenly, snapping at his hand. Jack jumped back.

"Jack, come away," the Doctor said, putting his arm around Jack. He could feel his friend trembling again.

"No. I'm okay." He turned stubbornly back toward Dair. "Let's get something straight. I'm not your prisoner now. You're mine. I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore."

They stared at one another for a while. Then Dair spoke again.

"Kill me."

"No."

"Kill me!" Dair shouted hysterically.

Jack slapped him. "Stop that right now!"

Dair gasped and fell silent.

"Jack…" the Doctor said uncertainly.

Jack held up one hand, signaling the Doctor not to interfere. "I'm sorry it has to be like this," he told Dair, "but you need to grow up now. You have to trust me before I can trust you." He took Dair's head in his hands and leaned in close to him. "Do you want me to take you away like I promised?"

After a moment, Dair said, "Dad and Jack will come take me away. I will never give up." Tears formed in his eyes.

Jack backed away from him, shaking harder than ever. "I'm sorry." He sank to his knees on the floor. "I'm so sorry."

The Doctor knelt beside Jack and held him close. "Jack, it's not your fault. He's out of his mind—he doesn't know what he's saying."

"Sure, he does. He's saying I'm too late. I should have gotten him out of here years ago. If I'd kept looking for Gray, maybe I'd have found him in time."

"I don't think you are too late. Looking at him, hearing the way he talks… I think you were right and he can get better. But it will take a very long time. And a great deal of patience. You care about him?"

Jack nodded. "I don't want him to stay like this."

"Then I'll help you. But you have to remember that it won't be easy. He's sure to have bad days and setbacks."

"I know."

The Doctor kissed Jack's neck. "All we can do is try. If we fail, he can't be any worse off than he is now."

* * *

><p><em>Still a long hard road ahead of us, but we're outta the woods! :p<br>_


	36. Back On Barcelona

_Let the healing continue... although staying home sick allowed me to get more work done on this story :p  
><em>

_Major mature... or immature... content in this one, thanks to certain characters. When it gets uncomfortable for you, skip to the next break and you won't have missed much. :p  
><em>

_No new spoilers._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirty-six: Back On Barcelona_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Right, we'll meet up back on Barcelona where the Tardis was before," the Doctor told the Meddler. "I'll send the <em>Serenity<em> lot with you, if you don't mind—all but River and Simon."

"All right," the Meddler agreed. "See you soon."

The Doctor went to where Jenny was speaking to her second in command.

"Tell the major I resigned," Jenny was saying cheerfully. "I've had enough of the Alliance. It's time for something new."

"Just a moment," said the Doctor. "You mean to say you're abandoning your post? Deserting? No daughter of mine is a deserter! You return for debriefing and go through the formalities, and _then_ you can quit."

"But I want to go with you now," Jenny whined. "What if you disappear again? Oh, please don't go without me."

"Come here." The Doctor hugged his daughter. "I won't disappear. I'll wait for you, I promise. I lost you once—nothing's going to make me leave you behind now."

Jenny hugged him back, hard. "Okay. Thank you."

"There's a good girl. Be a good soldier now, and get your troops home safely."

"Yes, sir." Jenny kissed his cheek and left with her men.

The Doctor smiled after her for a moment before turning back to his own little crew. Gray and Simon were carrying Dair—sedated once again—back toward the Tardis. Jack and John were standing nearby; he went to join them.

"You really don't want Dair on the Tardis, do you?" asked John.

"I've got a bad feeling about it," the Doctor admitted. "But I'll deal with it."

"We'll deal with it," John corrected. "I've learnt my lesson with Gray. I won't give up on a fellow until you do."

The Doctor smiled. "Lovely, that puts the burden on me, doesn't it?"

"I think Gray can be a big help, though. Since he knew him."

"I hope so. Let's get going, shall we? This ship gives me the creeps."

"Where's the Master?" Jack asked.

"I think he's already back on the Tardis." _Sulking in his room, no doubt…_ "I'll want everyone in the control room to help me pilot," the Doctor said as they headed back, "so if you want you can wait in my room…"

"It's okay; I'm going to have to see him eventually. I'm just not in a hurry to be alone with him." Jack seemed to be ignoring John's presence for the moment, and for once John kept his mouth shut.

* * *

><p>The Doctor watched Jack's reactions closely when they returned to the Tardis. Jack avoided looking at the Master, especially making eye contact. He seemed uncertain whether he wanted to look at Gray or not—when Gray looked his way, Jack redirected his gaze, but he looked back soon afterward.<p>

The Doctor stayed close to him at all times and let the Master give a lot of the piloting directions to the others. When they landed, the Master checked the readings carefully.

"Looks like we've landed about an hour after we left," he reported.

The others smiled and began to disperse. The Master shot a quick look at Jack and then darted away into the back of the Tardis. Gray took River's hand and they started to follow, the last to leave.

"Gray," Jack said suddenly.

Gray looked back hesitantly. He met Jack's gaze for a moment, then looked at the floor.

"We need to talk," Jack said. "Not right now, but… soon, okay?"

Gray nodded, still looking away.

"I love you."

Now Gray looked up again, and even across the room, the Doctor could see tears in his eyes. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

River put her arm around Gray. "He loves you, too," she supplied, keeping her eyes on Gray's face. Then she led him away, down the passage.

"He couldn't say it," Jack murmured.

The Doctor gently pulled Jack against him. "He wanted to, though. He's doing so much better, but he's still scared."

"Why is he scared? I'd never hurt him."

"I know, but he's only just realized how beastly he was to you. I think he's afraid that soon you'll realize it, too. Come on now, you look exhausted. Let's get you to your room."

Jack didn't move. "Doctor…"

"What is it? You don't want to stay in your room?"

"No."

The Doctor was puzzled for only a moment. _That's where Gray molested him. He needs to be somewhere he feels safe._ "Do you want to stay in my room, then?"

"I don't want to put you out of your own room…"

"Nonsense, I've got half a dozen empty guest rooms. Or I could stay with you if you like."

Jack hesitated. "You don't have to do that."

"Jack, do you want me to?"

"I… don't know. Let me think about it."

"All right." They walked in silence until they reached the Doctor's room. He opened the door for Jack, but he went in first. He went to the bed and turned down the covers for him. "Is there anything else you need before bed?"

"I do want to brush my teeth. I haven't in two weeks…"

"Oh, of course. Always got a spare tooth brush…" The Doctor rummaged in a box on his dresser. "Here we are. You get ready and I'll fetch some pajamas for you."

"Okay."

Before long they were both ready for bed and the Doctor repeated his earlier suggestion.

"Do you want to stay with me, or are you just trying to be helpful?" Jack asked, looking suspicious.

"If you want me here, then I definitely want to stay with you. Very much."

"Then I want you here."

Jack waited, so the Doctor got into bed first. He supposed it made sense—Jack wouldn't want to make himself vulnerable until his bedfellow was already settled. For one wild moment he wondered if Jack might have lost some of his sanity and planned to have his wicked way with him, but then Jack was lying quiet beside him and it was like being in the _Javelin's_ engine room again. Peaceful. Safe. "I love you, Jack."

"Love you." Jack took the Doctor's hand for a moment. Then he moved his hands up and held onto his arm.

"Do you want to talk before we sleep?"

"I don't know that I _will_ sleep."

"Then let's talk." The Doctor reached over with his free hand to rub Jack's wrist lightly. "Are you angry with me?"

"Why would I be angry with you?"

"For taking so long to get you back, of course. For leaving you in the first place."

"I told you to leave me. And I'm sure you got there as soon as you could."

The Doctor kept his hands loose and his movements inviting to let Jack know it was all right to initiate closer contact if he wanted to.

Slowly, Jack seemed to gain confidence and he put his arm around the Doctor's waist. "I thought about you all the time. I even told Dair about you near the end. It made him kinda mad to think of someone taking me away from him."

"Well, he'll have to lump it." The Doctor rubbed the arm around him and laid a kiss on Jack's head. _No one's ever taking you away from me again. Not that savage or anyone else._ "Do you think you'll be able to talk to the Master soon? He's taking this rather hard. He's very upset that all of this happened without any input from him. And he fought very fiercely for you; you should have seen him."

Jack rested his head against the Doctor's shoulder. "I don't know. I'm kind of confused about him. I know I liked him a lot, but I can't remember why. I know he was funny and charming… but it seems kind of petty now. I mean, what do I really know about him? All I know for sure is that until recently he was an evil genius. He's still a genius—who says he's not still evil?"

"I say he's not. He gave me the most sincere apology. And we're going to go on working things out. I know it's a drastic change and a quick one, but I believe him. I'm beginning to trust him. That's not to say he couldn't go wrong again; we've got to be very careful. But I don't believe he would hurt you, Jack. And I've made it clear to him that he'll be very sorry if he tries."

Jack pressed closer and the Doctor worked his arm out of the way so he could hold Jack against him.

"I missed you so much," the Doctor told him softly.

"Me too. It's good to hear your hearts again. I know when I hear that sound nothing can touch me."

_Nothing. Over my dead body._

* * *

><p>"I don't want River staying over here anymore," Simon told Gray flatly.<p>

Gray did his best to contain his temper. "Why not?"

"Because you're bad for her."

"In what way?"

"In every way. You're keeping her in an environment where I can't treat her properly, you put her in danger—you just decide to do things without even consulting me. She's not safe here."

River squeezed Gray's hand and moved to her brother's side. "I'm safe with Gray," she told him.

Simon's face softened immediately when he looked at her. "I know you think you are, but I need you to stay with me. Gray took you out of the Doctor's force field when there were hundreds of enemies around us…"

"There were sixty-eight," she contradicted him. "And twenty-four in the passages. Six more at the ship's controls."

Simon paused a moment, seeming to collect his patience. "Fine. My point is, he put you in danger and I can't let that happen again."

"There's no danger here."

"It doesn't matter. I let you stay with him and things went badly."

"What went badly? I wasn't hurt. I kept them safe. The Reavers all died."

Gray kept his mouth shut and tried not to smile. Simon had to be pretty frustrated.

"River… for once, will you just do what I say?"

"I'll go back to _Serenity,_" River said. "But I'm coming back to see Gray when you come to check on Dair tomorrow." She walked toward the control room.

"Well…" Simon trailed after her. "We'll talk about it in the morning," he said, his attempt at firmness failing miserably.

Gray smiled a little and headed back for his own room. Before long he met John and the Master in the hall.

"Gray," John greeted him. "How's things?"

"Okay. Simon's trying to put River under house arrest."

John laughed. "Let him try. I doubt anyone can stop her from doing what she's a mind to."

Gray glanced at the Master. "So… what are you two standing around for?"

"We're waiting until everyone else is asleep so we can hijack the Tardis," the Master said, his eyes flashing.

"Oh. Well, too bad I found out about it. Now you have to kill me."

"Or we could just take you to bed with us."

"It all makes sense now. Won't Jack be a little mad?"

"He did sort of give us permission," John pointed out. "Though he did say a threesome, but something tells me he's not up for that."

"Replacement?" asked the Master, nodding at Gray.

"He'll kill me."

"Why?" asked Gray. "I mean, why does he think it would be so terrible for us to sleep together anyway? Is it because you're his friend and he's protecting you from me?"

"No. I don't think it's that… It's…" John frowned. "You know, I'm not sure, really. But anyway, Master, if you want to get back on track with him, you're not going to go and shag his brother. He'd kill both of us. Honestly."

"You be in the middle then," said the Master. "I'll just be content to watch the two of you…"

Gray backed away a step. "I'm getting a little disturbed now, so uh…"

"Look, after all we've seen today none of us wants to be alone tonight," said John.

"Except the Meddler," the Master put in, "but he's happy in his own TARDIS."

"And I don't know that things will get very heated anyway," John went on. "No one's going to bully you into anything, so come on."

Gray looked from one to the other. "No pressure, huh?"

"I promise."

"Well, okay. Whose room?"

"Mine," said the Master. "Be there in a few minutes?"

"Yeah." Gray paused. "But… if you two want to start without me, go right ahead."

* * *

><p>"Do you like music with romance?" John asked as they entered the Master's room.<p>

"I don't know. Let's find out."

John grinned and flipped open his VM. Soon Britney Spears' "Toxic" was throbbing around them.

The Master smiled back at him they immediately began helping each other off with their clothes.

John quickly got the idea that while the Master wasn't very experienced with his own gender, he was very confident and no beginner when it came to sex in general. He'd rarely encountered this kind of domineering confidence and it turned him on in a big way. He tossed his shirt away and wrapped his leg around the Master's.

The Master took him by the hips and pushed him back, making him wait as he delivered a scintillating kiss.

John felt lightheaded. _God, no wonder Jack fell for him…_ He found himself being pushed back onto the bed. He moaned as the Master's tongue circled his. He slid his hands down the Master's chest and opened his fly. Then he felt a strong grip on his crotch and he moaned again.

The Master began licking his way down John's neck.

His mouth free, John gasped and probably said a few words, too, but he wasn't aware of what they were. _Only Jack's supposed to be able to make me incoherent..._ He grabbed the Master by the shoulder and pulled him down, forcing the Timelord's groin against his hip.

It was the Master's turn to moan as John's fingers wormed their way across his chest and caressed his nipples. "Oh, yes," he said with a smug smile before attacking John's mouth again. When he came up for air, he said, "You let me take you first, you get me after."

That was fine with John, but he didn't like being so completely dominated so he said, "Better idea. How about I take you first, and you get me after."

The Master stared at John a moment, looking amused. "You're even more difficult than Jack, aren't you? All right, then. Have it your way."

"Oh, I intend to." John's confident look melted into a groan as the Master reached down to guide him inside.

The Master laughed. "Just to warn you, though—you've never done a Timelord before…"

* * *

><p>In a few minutes they were both blissfully spent. The Master looked a little shaky as he supported himself above John to keep them from ending up tied together.<p>

"What's this?" John reached up toward the Master's chest.

The Master slapped his hand away. "Don't touch. It'll go away in a minute."

"You're just full of surprises."

"Yes, and now you're full of some of them, too."

John snorted. "Does that stuff taste good?"

"It's an acquired taste. I'll let you try when it's dry."

There was a knock at the door.

The Master grinned.

"Oh, damn," muttered John. He switched the music loop off. "Is that you, Gray?" he called.

"Yes… Was that 'Toxic?'"

"Um… I'm not sure you want to come in just now…"

"Oh, come on." The Master rolled them away so John was on top of him and quickly spread the sheets over them. Then he pushed John away slightly so their chests didn't quite touch. "There. Come in, Gray."

Gray entered slowly, eyeing the two of them with bemusement. "So… not gonna get too heated, huh?"

The Master chuckled and John looked sheepish.

"Well… you did take a while to join us," John said evasively.

"Yeah, and it looks like a damn good thing. I can just go back to my room if you want."

"No, no. We're done, I think."

"You think?"

"We're done," the Master said firmly, grinning.

"Okay." Gray hung his robe on the bedpost and climbed into bed, careful not to lift the sheets too far.

John pulled further away from the Master who sighed happily as they came apart.

"Sooo," Gray said, exaggerating his awkward tone. "Since you decided to be so dirty in my absence, how about some feedback?"

"Nice," John said immediately. "Very nice. And really different. In a good way."

"Quite good," the Master agreed. "Not as good as Jack, though."

"Hey! He didn't ask for a comparison. Gray doesn't need feedback on Jack anyway."

Gray started to get up.

John took him by the arm. "Wait a minute, Gray—I didn't mean it like that. I only meant you don't need feedback on someone you don't have that kind of interest in. Don't go."

Stiffly, Gray lay back again.

John put his arm over Gray's chest and kissed his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't think before I opened my mouth."

Gray didn't answer, but he ran his hand over John's arm.

"You know, Jack's not too keen on seeing me," the Master said. "I feel like we're sort of in the same boat, waiting for things to be all right again."

John felt the Master's arm around him, and then he realized that the Master had reached further, until his hand rested on Gray's arm. _God, is he showing compassion? Empathy?_

"Things can't be all right," Gray whispered. "Not after what I did to him."

"That's how I feel sometimes. Especially about the Doctor. But he seems willing to forgive me, and I'm not going to question his capacity to do so. Jack's got the same capacity; I'm sure of it. Just be patient."

Gray rolled onto his side and put his arm around John. The Master moved his hand up to Gray's waist.

One by one, they drifted into sleep, Gray and John caressing each other, the Master holding them both.

* * *

><p>The Doctor suddenly started out of his dosing. Jack was sitting up beside him. "Jack? What is it?"<p>

"I think… I can hear Dair. He's screaming."

The Doctor listened for a moment and then he heard it too, from farther down the passage: an unearthly shriek.

"He's calling me."

"He can't get out. You're safe here. I'll make it so you can't hear him…" The Doctor pushed the covers back and sat up.

"He needs me."

"What?" The Doctor put his arms around Jack. "He doesn't own you. He can wait."

"He belongs to me, and I'm not going to leave him alone when he's scared."

_What do I do?_ "All right, but I'm coming with you."

"You can, but please wait outside."

"You're not going in with him!"

"I'm not going to argue with you." Jack pulled on the bath robe the Doctor had lent him.

"Jack…" the Doctor sprang out of bed and took his maroon robe from the wardrobe. "Just a moment… don't you want to think about this?"

"No, not really."

At the last moment, the Doctor grabbed his sonic screwdriver and stuffed it into the pocket of his robe. Then he hurried out after Jack.

Dair was pounding on the shatter-proof glass window of his door when they reached it. His fingers were either bleeding or covered with blood from another wound.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jack said, gradually lowering his voice as Dair began to calm. "It's okay. I'm right here. You're gonna hurt yourself that way. Look at you."

The Doctor looked on with concern. He nervously handled the sonic screwdriver in his pocket.

Dair growled, making Jack flinch, but he didn't move away.

"Stop that. Talk to me with words or not at all."

Dair growled again, louder.

"Stop!" Jack ordered, leaning closer to the glass. "I'm just as stubborn as you are! The difference is, I can leave. Is that what you want?"

Dair's expression turned from rage to despair. "Jack," he whined. "Jack, my Jack…"

"I'm not yours. Understand?"

"Jack!" Dair shrieked.

"Shut up! You're acting like the most spoiled baby ever spawned. If you want me in there with you, then shut up and move back."

Dair backed away, whimpering Jack's name.

Jack took off his bathrobe and tossed it to the Doctor. "Don't open that door, no matter what. And don't watch."

"Jack!" the Doctor exclaimed. "Don't go in there—he'll tear you to pieces!"

"I don't care if he kills me." Jack took the Doctor by the shoulders. "Promise me: you won't open the door unless I call for you. And as you love me, don't let anyone else open it either."

"Jack, please." The Doctor blinked against rapidly forming tears. _Don't make me give you up again._

Jack kissed him softly and then hugged him."I heal instantly and I'm not tied this time; I'll be fine. Stay here."

* * *

><p><em>Minor cliff-hanger. :p Jack's behavior's kinda erratic and unpredictable right now; he needs a stabilizer... And the Doctor needs a sanity retainer. xD<br>_


	37. Power Struggle

_Sometimes I think, "I refuse to post more until someone else comments." Then I usually think, "I'd better put up a new chapter so someone will comment." xD I just love hearing your reactions. I live on them. So there's my review plug. :p_

_DW spoilers: 3rd Doctor (Season 8, 1971) content. From the Master's earliest appearances. Shouldn't spoil anything major for those who plan to watch the classic episodes, but just to warn you._

_Mature content: You saw it coming last time. :p Not very graphic, though._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirty-seven: Power Struggle_  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jack took a last look at the Doctor before letting himself into the secure room with Dair. "You're going to have to lock it from out there," he called. "He's broken the keypad in here."<p>

Dair was watching him intently, shivering in the shreds of the clothes the medics had put him in. They had cut his hair and cleaned him up a little, but the wound in his shoulder had begun bleeding again, and it looked like he had been trying to work the bandages loose.

Once he heard the sonic screwdriver secure the door behind him, Jack moved forward. "Calm down. You're all right."

"Jack," Dair whimpered, holding out his arms.

Jack took his hands and looked them over. "You're never going to break out of here with your bare hands; you're just hurting yourself. Don't do that."

Dair stepped forward, pressing as much of himself against Jack as possible. "Where am I?"

"You're in the Tardis. It's the Doctor's ship." Jack let go of Dair's hands and put his arms around him. "Gray and Simon brought you here when you were asleep. You don't have to be scared. You're safe here."

Dair squeezed Jack hard for a moment and then lunged in to bite his neck.

Jack stifled a cry of pain as he pushed Dair away from him. He caught him by the wrists and forced him back against the wall. "No. No more of that. You're not in control anymore and I'm not going to let you get away with hurting me or anyone else. Understand?" He felt sweat breaking out on his face and found himself panting.

Dair struggled at first, but then he sank back against the wall and broke out in raspy sobbing.

"Don't." Jack stroked Dair's face and kissed his head. "I know you're scared. You don't know what to do. I'm going to take care of you, I promise. But you have to let me be your keeper. I won't let anyone take you away from me, and I won't let them hurt you."

Tears ran down Dair's face as he stared back at Jack. "Hurt me," he said.

"No, don't start. You need to get over this obsession with pain. Come here." He pulled Dair forward again, carefully bringing their bodies into contact. "You remember what I showed you? Kiss me, but no biting."

Dair did as he was told, opening his mouth to let Jack in. Jack could feel the younger man getting hard against him.

"Come over here away from the window," Jack instructed, pulling Dair back to one of the front corners of the room. "Just in case he gets really worried and tries to see what's going on…"

Dair put his hand under Jack's pajama shirt and worked his way down.

"Hold on a minute," Jack said, grabbing Dair's wrist again. "You undress yourself and let me undress myself. Those are my terms, understand?"

Meekly, Dair obeyed.

"I know you're used to fighting for what you want and getting it right away. I'm going to have to teach you to wait. I'm not going to stay here with you all the time."

Dair's expression darkened.

"Don't look like that. You're not the only person in my life. I've got friends I want to be with. If you want me at all, you have to learn to share me." Jack eyed the bandages on Dair's shoulder. "Hold still and let me fix this…" He pulled the loose ends up and tied them tightly. Dair stiffened, but made no protest. "Okay, now when we're done, we're going to fix you up with a new dressing. And this time, leave it alone or we'll have to tie your hands."

"No," Dair protested fearfully.

"Then behave yourself. Now, I'll let you have me if you think you can be gentle. But I'm on top because I don't want you to make your wound worse. Understand?"

Dair didn't look happy about the arrangement, but he complied.

It was different now—very different. They were so much cleaner. Dair's hair was short. Jack wasn't chained. It was his choice.

_It is my choice, _Jack told himself firmly. _I'm in control now._ He kissed Dair deeply and slid his hands over his body. He felt Dair's fingers gripping him tightly, pulling him down hard with each thrust.

_I want this. He needs this. I could stop him if I had to._ "Easy," he breathed. "Gently…"

But Dair ignored his instructions, pushing harder, faster. His teeth gnawed along Jack's shoulder more and more insistently until he drew blood.

"Dair, stop."

With a growl, Dair rolled them over.

"No…" Jack tried to scramble away, but Dair was too quick for him. He felt the walls of panic and helplessness closing in on him again. "Please, Dair, don't!"

* * *

><p>After a short sleep, the Master opened his eyes. His human companions were both sleeping soundly, one of them snoring occasionally, he wasn't sure which. Carefully, he disentangled himself from the others and crawled out of the bed.<p>

As he was wondering what he could do to alleviate his boredom, he heard a faint shriek from somewhere in the Tardis. _Wretched beast,_ he thought. _Why the hell did the Doctor agree to take it back with us?_

He reached for his clothes and began dressing in the dark. He wasn't sure what he planned to do, if anything. But when he was dressed he took up the laser fob from the table and meandered down the passage. _Maybe I'll just get a look at him. Wonder if he'd chase the laser round? That would be amusing. Which bloody room did they put him in…?_

After a couple of minutes he rounded a corner and saw the Doctor leaning against the wall of the passageway.

"Fancy meeting you here. Jack asleep?"

The Doctor shook his head. He looked anxious.

The Master's eyes widened. "He's in there? With the beast? Why?"

"He's trying to calm him down. He was screaming… Jack says he's scared."

"And you let him go in alone?"

"He didn't leave me much choice."

The Master moved toward the door, but the Doctor blocked his path. "I only want to see what's going on."

"I think it's better that you don't."

With a sigh, the Master backed down. "Why won't he talk to me?"

"Give him time."

"I have. He's talked to everyone else—even Gray. But not me."

"He's still not himself," the Doctor said soothingly. "He'll want to see you before long."

"Maybe." The Master leaned on the wall beside the Doctor. "I just wish I could understand…. See, if I could talk to him, I think I'd be able to…" He stopped suddenly, realizing that his throat was tightening. _Oh, hell. I don't get choked up. I don't. I can't!_

"He'll let you when he's not so afraid."

"I don't want him to be afraid of me." _Damn. That sounded very weak. Dammit, not in front of him!_

"Do you love him?"

The Master couldn't answer. But he knew the Doctor was waiting and would realize how upset he was anyway if he didn't speak soon. "I don't know," he said quietly, trying to keep the shaking out of his voice.

The Doctor put a hand on the Master's arm.

He looked away, embarrassed. "Please, don't laugh at me."

"Why would I laugh at you?"

"Because I don't know what I'm doing. Because I'm so useless at this." His voice broke. He felt the Doctor pulling him to the side and was a little surprised to find that he wanted to be embraced. He buried his face in the Doctor's bathrobe.

"I will never laugh at you for caring about someone. I'm sorry you thought that I might. I guess I haven't always been very delicate with your feelings."

"You told me you wished I was dead."

"What?" The Doctor sounded shocked.

The Master hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, but since they had talked and the Doctor had been away, more and more of the past had presented itself to him, reminding him of their rivalry. "That time I phoned you to let you know I survived—you said you were sorry to hear it."

"When was that? Oh… oh, that was so long ago! Are you fretting about that now?"

"There you go, having a laugh at me…"

"No, I'm not." The Doctor held the Master a little tighter.

"Doctor, do you remember that machine? The one that fed on evil thoughts?"

After a pause the Doctor said. "Yes… yes, I remember."

"When it fed on yours, what did you see?"

"I saw… fire, first. And then the daleks. And I think I may have seen the cybermen, too. Why?"

"I saw you," the Master told him bitterly, but in full knowledge that his timing of delivery was perfect for effect. He could never stifle the showman inside. "You, laughing at me. You always had a way of ridiculing me just for sport…"

"Master, I…" The Doctor's chest was heaving. "I know I treated you badly, and I'm sorry. If you weren't always trying to kill me, I mightn't have taken such satisfaction in your failures…"

They heard a noise from the room behind them and looked at each other as they listened. Then Jack's voice drifted out to them.

"Please, Dair, Don't!"

The Master pushed the Doctor away and tried the door. When it didn't budge, he looked at the keypad beside it. "You open this door or I'll break it," he snapped.

Without a word, the Doctor complied.

The Master burst in and took a moment to locate the disturbance. Without a sound he rushed over, took Dair by the hair and shone the laser fob at his eyes.

Dair fell back, shrieking in pain and fear. The Master took advantage of Dair's blindness to punch him hard in the jaw.

"Don't ever presume that your life is safe here!" he shouted at his victim. "This is not acceptable. Look at me!"

Squinting as his eyesight slowly began to return, Dair looked fearfully up at the Master.

"You have been a very bad boy," the Master told him firmly. "You've done a wicked thing."

"I'm bad," Dair whimpered.

"That's right. Don't touch him again tonight. Go to bed. Do you understand? I don't want to hear another sound from you until you're spoken to!"

"I understand."

The Master turned his back to Dair, knowing that his instructions would be followed. He crouched to get on eyelevel with Jack and said his name quietly.

Jack cringed away, against the wall. The Doctor moved toward him.

"Wait," the Master said urgently. "Please, Jack. Just look at me. That's all I'm asking."

Trembling, Jack slowly lifted his eyes.

When their gazes met, the Master said quickly, "It's all right, Jack. Everything's all right."

Jack instantly began to relax.

"I won't hurt you," the Master went on. "And Dair can't hurt you. You're stronger than he is."

"I'm… stronger."

"That's right. I know for a fact you're quite strong. There's no way this pipsqueak should be able to dominate you. You'll be all right now. You can take care of yourself, right?"

"Yes."

"Good man." He hesitated. "The Doctor will look after you now," he said, getting up again. He patted the Doctor's shoulder on the way by. "Take good care of him."

"Master…"

The Master ignored him. When Jack snapped out of his light hypnosis, he wouldn't want to see him.

* * *

><p>The Doctor couldn't relax until Jack was lying quiet in his arms again, back in his room where they both knew it was safe. He stroked Jack's hair and whispered reassurances to him.<p>

"I thought I was ready," Jack murmured quietly.

"I shouldn't have let you go in alone. But sometimes you can't know how much you can handle until you try. Don't worry about it anymore tonight. Maybe Gray can get somewhere with him tomorrow." The Doctor kissed Jack's face and rubbed his shoulder.

"What did the Master do to Dair? I can't quite remember…"

"That's the hypnosis clouding your memory. He temporarily blinded him with a laser and hit him once. No permanent damage."

"He needed his bandages changed."

"He'll be all right until morning."

"Why did the Master hypnotize me?"

"Because you were frightened. He wanted to calm you down and help you remember you can take care of yourself."

"Am I a big mess? Tell me honestly."

The Doctor smiled. "You haven't quite been yourself since you came back, it's true. But you're going to be all right. Just take your time."

Jack sighed and pressed his face against the Doctor's chest. "I'm not moving again until morning. Even if I can't sleep."

"Okay," the Doctor replied obligingly. He ran his fingers lightly over Jack's arm, absent-mindedly tracing a pattern over and over.

A few minutes later, Jack was in a deep sleep. The Doctor, relieved that his friend was finally settled and peaceful, nodded off soon after.

* * *

><p>"Did you get up during the night?" John asked as he pulled his clothes on the next morning.<p>

"What if I did?" the Master rejoined with a knowing smile. "You're my mistress, not my lover."

"Oh!"

Gray watched the scene, content not to get involved. After a while, he decided it might be a good idea if he slipped away unnoticed, just in case things came to blows—or passion of another sort. It was hard to guess which way things would go.

He wandered out to the control room and looked at the scanner. It was near midday. He wondered if Jack was awake, or if he and the Doctor had begun another "perpetual sleepover." Suddenly it occurred to him that he knew where the door controls were—he had seen the Doctor use them more than once. He went to the controls and tried them.

The Tardis door swung open, revealing a warm, pleasant day outside. Gray looked around. He had the unnerving feeling that someone would jump out and shout at him for opening the door. But all was quiet. _I could go. I could just disappear. I could get on the next ship out and just space myself somewhere where Jack wouldn't find my body._

But he couldn't help thinking of Jack's face the night before. _He said he loves me. He wants to talk to me. Don't I owe him that much?_ He turned away from the doors and wandered aimlessly through the Tardis, not knowing what he was looking for.

* * *

><p>"I want to talk to Gray, if he'll let me," Jack told the Doctor. He had finally awoken some ten hours after falling asleep—the longest he'd slept in centuries.<p>

The Doctor, propped on one elbow and lightly stroking his friend's arm, answered, "Would you like me to ask him to meet you somewhere? The Astronomy room, maybe?"

"No… not there. Maybe that room where Inara saw me when she visited."

"All right." The Doctor stared at Jack's face, memorizing each detail and then looking at it as a whole.

"So… right after breakfast?" Jack prompted. "Or is it lunchtime?"

"Oh. Guess I should find out. Get you something to eat…" The Doctor tore his gaze away from Jack and went to gather his clothes up to change in the adjoining bathroom.

He wasn't very surprised to once again find John and the Master thick as thieves in the kitchen.

"It's not ready yet!" the Master said, jumping in front of the cooking area so the Doctor couldn't see.

"We're making omelets," said John.

The Master scowled. "Thank you, Mr. Discretion. Now you've ruined the surprise."

The Doctor couldn't help smiling a little. "Have you seen Gray this morning?"

"Mm… not since we got up. Haven't seen him, have you, John?"

John shook his head. "Nope. Do you think the Meddler will come over for lunch? How many are we cooking for?"

Always somewhat adverse to domestic conversations, the Doctor slipped away to the control room. To his surprise, the Tardis door stood open.

_Gray. No one's seen him for a while…_ "Don't panic," he told himself. "When did he leave?" He went to the console and checked the door log. No one had entered or left the Tardis since the night before. _Odd. But that means he's still inside._

Relieved, the Doctor began checking the various areas of the Tardis for signs of life. _I could call him over the speaker… but Jack would hear and he'd worry._ "There!" Someone was in the Astronomy room. The Doctor closed the Tardis door and hurried away.

Sure enough, Gray was lying on the floor of the Astronomy room. The Doctor approached him anxiously. "Gray? Are you all right?"

Gray turned his head toward the Doctor and squinted at him in the light from the doorway. "Doctor? How's Jack?"

"He's doing all right." The Doctor relaxed. Gray seemed about like usual, if not a little better. He sat on the floor beside him. "How about you? Have you eaten anything?"

"No. I don't feel like it."

"That makes it a bit difficult… Jack wants to talk to you after lunch. It'll never be 'after lunch' if you don't eat."

"I guess not." Gray sat up. "I don't know what to say to him."

"That's all right. He knows you're sorry and that you love him. Let him talk first."

It took Gray some time to answer; when he did, it came out haltingly. "I just wish… I should never have been born."

The misery in Gray's words struck a note of compassion and the Doctor couldn't help reaching out to him. "Oh, Gray." He pulled the young man toward him and Gray clung to him tightly. "Your life doesn't end here. You've so much time left to go on and do good things. Most of your life up till now was stolen from you, but you're free now."

Gray pressed his face against the Doctor's shoulder and cried quietly. The Doctor reached up to stroke his hair.

"You didn't get to grow up properly, but Jack can help you. You're a clever person; you can catch up in no time."

"But I'm nothing," Gray choked. "I have nothing and I'm worthless."

"Don't say that. It isn't so. You've got Jack and John. And me—we're all your friends here."

"You know what I did to him. How can I ever look him in the eye? I should be dead."

"Please, don't. It would hurt Jack so much to lose you now, after all you've been through. Give him a chance."

Gray held on tighter than ever. The Doctor bore it as patiently as he could, waiting for Gray to calm and catch his breath. Finally his breathing was just a whisper in the silence.

"Come on," the Doctor said, "come try to eat something." He kissed Gray's forehead and helped him to his feet.

"Thank you," Gray said, keeping his eyes down.

"That's all right. We can talk again if you like."

"Okay."

They walked in silence until they reached the kitchen, which was by contrast very noisy with John's and the Master's animated chatter.

* * *

><p><em>So we end on a peaceful note this time. Thoughts? ^^<br>_


	38. Healing

_Sorry this one took a while. Real life sucks. :p_

_A few minor DW spoilers; no big deal. No lime in this one either. (sorry lol)_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Thirty-eight: Healing_  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Dair's probably hungry, too," Gray said as he took his empty plate to the instant-cleaning washer. "He should eat before Simon comes to check his wound."<p>

"Let him starve," the Master muttered. "He probably doesn't like cooked food anyway."

Gray was eager to put off his meeting with Jack in any way possible. He took his plate back out of the washer and put another serving of omelet on it.

"Don't go by yourself," warned the Meddler, who had indeed come over for lunch. "Even if you knew him once, he's not sane. You can't trust him."

"Dair won't hurt me."

"Don't be a fool," said the Master. "He'd eat his own mother. Anyway, you don't know the code to open his door."

Gray paused. "You're right." He sighed and went back to the table.

"Fortunately," the Master went on, "I am very clever and I know how the Doctor thinks. Plus, I've got this." He waved the laser fob. "Come on."

Gray was surprised by the offer, but he accepted it without a word. It felt strange to be walking with the Master—the person who had been his brother's lover for some weeks, and who had been none too friendly to him until the night before.

"You probably think he's more likely to behave for you than me," the Master said as they went, "but I'm a very persuasive person when I choose. So let me speak to him before we actually get the door open, all right?"

"All right." He didn't know why, but Gray felt as if he could trust the Master. He seemed absolutely confident and less intimidating now than when he had given Gray the tongue-lashing weeks ago.

When they reached Dair's door, Gray looked in through the window. Dair was sitting on his bed, staring at the wall.

"He looks like he doesn't know we're here."

"Maybe he doesn't," the Master said enigmatically. He began trying codes on the keypad. After a while, he gave up guessing and pressed a few buttons on the laser fob. He aimed it at the keypad and a steady stream of red light hit the display.

Gray waited, listening to the high-pitched quiet beeping as hundreds of possible codes streamed through the keypad each second. Then the door clicked and the Master smiled.

"There we are—I just fed it the Gallifreyan calendar…" He checked the laser fob. "Oh, Friendship Day. I might have known."

Dair was looking at the door now. He crept to the edge of his bed and waited.

"What's he waiting for?" Gray wondered.

"He's waiting for his Master. I forgot I told him not to make a sound until he was spoken to—apparently he's a very pliable subject."

Gray didn't understand what the Master meant. Nothing he had read after coming back to civilization seemed to apply to this situation, and nothing he had learned in his childhood prior to his capture was helping either.

The Master stepped up to the glass and called, "Stay quiet and stay back from the door. Gray's coming in with some food for you. You'll eat it and behave yourself."

Dair sat back complacently and Gray entered the room. The bedside table was on its side, so Gray righted it and set the plate on top.

Dair immediately began eating the food, but he grimaced as if he disliked it.

"Hey, do you remember how to use a fork?" Gray asked, arching an eyebrow at Dair's deficiency in table manners.

"I wouldn't expect too much of him right now," the Master said from the doorway. "One step at a time, right?"

"Yeah." Gray tried not to watch Dair very closely, somewhat sickened at his brutish behavior. He had to fight to keep images of his captivity from overwhelming him.

"Gray?" The Master had come up beside him at some point and was now touching his arm lightly. "Gray, are you all right? Look at me."

Gray lifted his gaze and met the Master's eyes.

"You're safe here, Gray. You know that."

Instantly, Gray felt better. "I know," he said.

The Master smiled. "Come on, he's done already."

Feeling slightly disoriented, Gray took the plate back and walked with the Master to the kitchen again.

Simon and River had arrived, and the Doctor was back from taking food to Jack.

"Did he eat?" John asked Gray.

"Yeah. But I don't think he liked it very much."

"I'd appreciate it if someone went with me to help restrain him if necessary," Simon told the Doctor.

"I'll go," John offered. "I want to see him up close anyway. Morbid curiosity."

"Character flaw," the Master added. "I'll go along as well, just in case. You coming, ninja princess?" he directed at River.

"If you are, I don't need to," River answered.

"Why's that?"

"Because you know the code, too."

The Doctor gave a nervous laugh. "So… one of you's been cracking my code and the other's been reading my mind. Lovely."

"We're both capable of either, I think," the Master said smugly.

Gray tried to fade into the background as the others headed for Dair's cell, but the Doctor followed him and caught him away from the others.

"Jack's ready to talk to you," the Doctor said quietly.

Gray looked at the floor and scrambled for something to say, some excuse to make.

"It's all right. This is what both of you need."

"But I…" _What? Damn, what was I going to say?_ "What if I…"

"I wouldn't suggest you see him if I didn't think it was a good idea," the Doctor went on. "You love him, don't you?"

There was a painful lump forming in Gray's throat. Rather than answer, he nodded.

"Then you won't hurt him."

Gray kept very still, unblinking, but the tears still overflowed. "No, sir," he whispered. In his blurry peripheral vision he saw the Doctor step closer and he gratefully accepted a hug.

"It'll be fine, Gray. Things are going to get better now, I promise. You just need to let it start."

Gray closed his eyes and concentrated on the Doctor's voice. Then he began to relax and felt a light kiss on his neck. "Doctor?"

"Yes."

"Why aren't you Jack's lover?"

He seemed to stiffen a little and Gray wondered if he'd said something very wrong. But then the Doctor relaxed again, rubbing Gray's back lightly with one hand. "It's complicated."

"I'm pretty quick on the uptake, Doctor."

"I know. But I'm not sure I understand it all, myself." He leaned back and gave Gray an apologetic smile. "So, until I've got it worked out, I don't think I'd better say much about it."

"Okay."

"You ready?"

Gray took a deep breath. "I guess so. Will you be there? Just close by?" _I've already proven I can't control myself, and now that Jack's been through the Reaver death camp there's no telling what could happen…_

"I'll be near enough to hear if you call for me," the Doctor promised. "But everything will be all right."

* * *

><p>Gray was the picture of nervousness when he walked into the room. He barely met Jack's gaze for a moment before looking away again.<p>

"It's okay, Gray," Jack said, holding out his hand. "Don't be scared."

Gray came forward slowly. He took Jack's hand and sank to his knees. "I'm sorry," he said. "You can kill me if you want."

_Well, he's not scared for his life,_ Jack's subconscious commented dryly. "I don't want to hurt you at all." He crouched on the floor beside Gray and put his free hand on his brother's shoulder.

"You should."

"Don't say that." Jack gently tilted Gray's chin up. "I get enough of that from Dair. Look at me."

Gray obeyed, though it seemed as if looking at Jack hurt his eyes.

"I know some really bad shit's gone down between us. But I still love you and I always will. Do you understand?"

After a moment, Gray answered. "No, not really. I don't know why you would love me."

Jack felt something squirm in his stomach. Everything seemed backward. Gray was the one who hated him for losing him, for letting the Reavers take him away. Now that he'd found out what it was like firsthand, Jack hated himself for it even more. "I love you because you're my little brother." He hesitantly ran his fingers over Gray's face, touching the square scar at the side of his neck. He wanted to hold Gray in his arms, but at the same time something held him back. It was a vague fear of being tricked. Twice, Gray had fooled him into letting him get close and then attacked him. And besides his own fear, he could clearly see that Gray was afraid, too.

"_You have reached out to others to help heal your soul while Gray has regressed into himself. If he keeps on like this, he may never recover. He needs your help more than anything, and the worst thing you can do is leave him alone as he thinks he wants you to."_

Taking some encouragement at the memory of Inara's advice, Jack gently pulled Gray toward him. "It's okay," he said softly.

Gray resisted at first, but then he closed the small space between them quickly and squeezed Jack hard.

Jack stiffened, but as the moments passed and Gray did nothing to hurt him, he relaxed and returned the embrace.

"I'm so sorry," Gray sobbed. "Jack… oh my god, Jack."

"Shh, it's okay." Jack kissed Gray's face and stroked his hair. "I love you so much."

"All those things I did to you… I killed your friend… I buried you alive. I raped you…"

Jack could feel Gray's tears on his neck. "And I forgave you," he reminded him. "You can forget those things now."

Gray gave a mirthless laugh. "Forget? How could you forget something like that?"

"Well, no. You never really forget. But you can get past it."

"The Doctor tried to tell me… he said one day I'd see that I was wrong and he hoped you'd still be able to forgive me and take me back. Why couldn't I see it then?"

"Because you've been through hell. It did something to your mind and it took a big shock to get you out of it. But I do want you back, Gray. I'll always take you back, no matter what."

Gray couldn't speak anymore. His grip loosened slightly and he slid down until his head was resting on Jack's chest. Then he moved his hand around so it was against one heart and his ear against the other. "How did this happen?"

Jack smiled a little. "That's a little hard to explain. For now, let's just say the Doctor gave me a transplant." He kissed Gray's head.

"Is this what makes you so forgiving?"

Gray seemed so childlike now, almost as if no time had gone by since they were separated. Jack didn't know how to respond to the question. It seemed funny, but he didn't feel like laughing. "No… I didn't have two hearts until the night the Doctor and I were poisoned."

"So you weren't like this when I…" Gray halted abruptly.

"It's okay," Jack said, rubbing Gray's back. "Let's not talk about it yet." He felt new, hot tears soaking into his shirt. "We both have a lot of guilt to bear up under. If we try to deal with it all at once, it's going to kill us. So let's just take it a little at a time, okay?"

After a few shuddering breaths, Gray answered, "Okay."

Jack closed his eyes and savored the feeling of his brother pressing against him, safe as he should always have been. "I'm so glad John found you," he said. "So glad you're here. I love you."

It was the tiniest whisper, but Jack just caught it: "You, too."

Jack smiled. _Thank you._ He kissed Gray's head again and rubbed his back with long, slow strokes. _Finally… he's my brother again._

* * *

><p>Simon finished wrapping Dair's shoulder and tied the bandage off securely. "Will he leave that alone?" he asked.<p>

"He will if I tell him to," the Master answered. "Dair, you will not attempt to remove your bandages."

Dair fixed his gaze on the Master. "They stay."

"Good boy."

"I don't normally approve of hypnosis," Simon commented.

"But it helps you get your job done, so suddenly you like it."

"I want to try to get those pieces of metal out of his skin. They're both infected, especially the one by his eye."

"So, pull them out."

"I can't do that! They're deeply embedded; he could bleed to death."

"Nonsense. The Doctor's got just the thing, only he hasn't thought of it. Too distracted, I expect." The Master turned to Dair. "Stay nice and quiet. I'll be back soon."

He hurried back through the Tardis, back to the room where he was first kept prisoner. Taking up the empty capsule from the shelf by the cryogen chamber, he opened its door. "Come along, beauties, back in the tin."

Tiny glowing specks gathered to him from the corners of the chamber. "Feels like cheating," he muttered to himself as he twisted the cap on. "Oh, well. If I'm not careful, I'll become a philanthropist…" He set his laser fob against the canister as he walked and worked the simple controls. "Reset to human… yes, there you are. So clever."

"What's that?" Simon asked suspiciously.

"Technology that won't be discovered for a few centuries."

"Nanogenes?" John guessed.

"That's the one."

"Why didn't you bring them out before?"

The Master smiled. "Well, I thought I'd give Simon a chance. He did do his best." He approached Dair, who was watching him closely. "All right, you. Hold still."

As usual, Dair obeyed without protest. The Master took hold of the metal shard protruding from Dair's brow.

"You can't do that," Simon said urgently.

"He'll be all right," John assured him. "Here, I'll get them ready." He took the canister and unscrewed the top.

River watched intently, fascination obvious in her wide eyes.

Dair cried out in pain when the Master jerked the bit of metal from his face, but then the glinting nanogenes surrounded the hurt area and the bleeding stopped quickly.

"That's incredible," Simon said. "Even the infection seems to be disappearing. What are those…"

"Sorry, you can't keep them," the Master told him. "As I said, they haven't been invented yet."

Dair looked fearful as the Master reached for the small metal spike protruding from his chest.

"It's all right," said the Master. "Hold still again. You will feel no pain."

"No pain," Dair repeated.

The Master wrenched the spike free. Dair blinked but made no sound. The nanogenes quickly healed the wound and then flew back to the canister in the Master's hands.

"There we are. Good as new." He patted Dair's head condescendingly.

"When _will_ those things be discovered?" Simon asked.

"Long after your time, I'm afraid, and by a different species."

Simon looked skeptical. "Aliens?"

"Just keep telling yourself they don't exist and they won't be able to hurt you," John said with an encouraging smile. "Of course, that might be a bit difficult since you've met the Doctor, the Master and the Meddler, none of whom is human."

Simon shot a look at River. "Really?"

River nodded. "Humans couldn't make a ship like this. They're Timelords. They come from Gallifrey."

"I've got to learn to think more quietly," said the Master, smiling at River.

* * *

><p>Jenny looked around the control room from one Timelord to the next. Her father and her father's two antagonists—now friends. "And you're the only ones in the universe."<p>

"Far as we know," the Master concluded.

"But after all, we don't know everything," the Meddler added.

"And Gallifrey is gone?"

The Doctor nodded.

"Couldn't you go back and visit it before the time war?"

"I'm afraid not. It's time locked. You can't go to any point in its history."

"It's as if it never was?"

"Not quite," said the Master. "In that case, none of us would be here."

"I'll try to explain the details later," the Doctor told her. "Along with more about Donna and Martha."

"What we need to know is, can she regenerate?" the Master put in.

"I don't see why that's a pressing issue. Plenty of time to speculate on it later."

"How could we possibly test it?" asked Jenny. "Without killing me, I mean."

"Nanogenes."

"No," the Doctor said instantly. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not turning the Tardis into Frankenstein's laboratory."

"Into what?"

"Will you ever read up on human literature? It's one of their most famous stories."

"Well, there's another way," the Master went on, ignoring the Doctor's tangent. "Eighth Man Bound."

"She doesn't need to regenerate," the Doctor snapped. "She's fine how she is. Anyway, there's no hurry."

"What's Eighth Man Bound?" asked Jenny.

"Nothing. Nothing, just a stupid game we used to play in the Academy."

"I never got further than third," the Meddler commented.

"I nearly got to sixth," the Master boasted.

"All right, enough," said the Doctor. In the old days he'd have reminded the Master that he'd seen his seventh, tying the highest record, but now that Jenny was with him he had no desire to revisit the dangerous game. "I think it would be much more productive to show her how to work the Tardis."

The Master relented. "Yes, all right. You and the Meddler have fun with that." He got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll watch Harry bloody Potter."

Jenny watched him go, wondering why he was in such a bad mood.

* * *

><p><em>Dair's better physically... mentally, not so much. Gray's getting there. Jenny doesn't know what she's in for. :p Last comment I got asked for an update... well, I was about to post this, so there you go! More reviews always welcome.<br>_


	39. Role Reversal

_More craziness in real life. Sorry it took so long. I've been working on it in very small sections. The good news is, it's one of the longest chapters yet._

_Some Whonivers spoilers, but it's woven together with stuff I made up. If it makes a difference to you, you can research online to see which parts are not original to me._

_Mature content: as usually, if you skip down to the next break when you hit your limit, you shouldn't have missed too much. Just glance over the last couple of lines to get the general idea._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

__Thirty-nine: Role Reversal

* * *

><p>The Master paced around the library. He had gone there to look through the Doctor's movie collection, but he knew he didn't feel like watching anything. Unbearably restless, he pulled out a book at random, flipped through the pages and put it back. Then he kicked the bottom of the bookcase.<p>

"Nothing good to read?"

The Master looked up to see Jack standing in the doorway. "No," he said. "Not a thing." He waited uncertainly. "Jack… don't you know I won't hurt you?"

Jack avoided his gaze. "I guess knowing isn't enough. I'm sorry…"

"Let's just talk. We can sit here at this table. That'd be all right, wouldn't it?" He knew he probably sounded a little pathetic, but he found himself caring less about his image these days.

Jack approached the table slowly, keeping his eyes down. He waited until the Master was seated before taking a chair himself. "All right."

"I just want to understand," the Master began. "What is it that makes you want me to keep away from you? Please, just tell me."

"I don't know if I understand it myself. I know I don't want to look at you because that's your strongest method of hypnotism. And I don't want to be close to you… I don't want to be close to anyone right now, except the Doctor. And maybe Gray."

"I've only used hypnosis to help you, Jack. I haven't manipulated you in my favor. Not ever."

"I want to believe you. But I feel like that would be… foolish."

"All right. If we have to start over, we can. And maybe we should."

Jack glanced up then, before he remembered not to make eye contact and looked away again. He licked his lips. "Okay. Let's start at the beginning, then. You said you were raised by your cousins or something?"

_Oh, he really wants the complete clean slate._ The Master took a deep breath. "Yes. In my time, Timelords weren't being born anymore per se. They were loomed."

"And what does that mean?"

"You're woven from the fibers of your family. On a loom."

"Like an actual… the kind of thing they used to use to make linen and stuff?"

The Master smiled slightly. "Sort of. It's a bit different. But it's difficult to describe to someone who's never seen it. Our people are grown sort of like a Tardis is grown. Only… different. Sorry. This probably isn't making any sense."

"Well, let's say I get the general idea. So, you were raised by people who were your 'family' because they were woven from the same fibers?"

"Basically. Each Timelord is associated with a certain house. Mine, for example, was the house of Oakdown. The Doctor's was called Lungbarrow."

"And you didn't like your Oakdown cousins much."

"Nope. I liked only people I could control. They tried to control me."

"When did you meet the Doctor?"

"When we were just kids. When a Timelord's loomed, he's not like a human baby. He's more like a toddler. He can speak, stand and walk within the first few weeks after birth."

"Wow. I think as a parent, I'd feel cheated."

"Yes, but they're not parents. They're cousins. So they can't wait for him to grow up. But anyway, I liked going off on my own, even at a very young age. I especially liked hiking in the southern mountains up near Lungbarrow. I met the Doctor there one afternoon. We both had an interest in exploring. But on that occasion I was fetched back rather forcefully because I wasn't supposed to go that far on my own. I was only seven."

"How far was it?"

"Oh, about ten leagues." Seeing that Jack was trying to remember how to convert that unit of measurement he amended, "Thirty miles or so."

"On foot?"

"Of course."

"Yeah, I'd have been ticked, too, if my kid were thirty miles away in the mountains by himself… or with a neighbor's kid."

"We didn't meet again until the Academy the next year," the Master went on. "Hazing is pretty serious there. First decade students get treated very badly."

Jack grimaced. "First decade? I thought a year or two of hazing was bad."

"A year is nothing. We'd do anything to make the older students like us or pay us attention, or at least stop paying us bad attention. So one day some of the older students—fourth or fifth decade, I guess—were causing some sort of row with one of the new instructors. A lot of us new students decided to join in and help them. And of course it was the new students who got caught."

"Of course."

"So we were all standing in a line getting lectured about respecting our elders and such, when the Doctor—Theta Sigma, we called him then—tried to interrupt and explain what had happened. While ratting other students out is not a popular move, standing up for fairness is. Sigma got twice as much punishment as the rest of us because he was 'insolent.' I knew that we would probably get along well, so when no one was paying attention for a moment I told him to meet me after curfew that night. I knew if he did it would mean he was interested in strategic alliances, willing to break rules, and not afraid of the dark. All good things."

"Did he show?"

"Yes. Pretending not to be afraid of the dark."

Jack smiled. "So, you were friends after that?"

"More or less. We got up to some trouble together. Got bullied together. Stuck up for each other and got beaten up together. I guess you could call that friendship."

"Sounds like a pretty good one."

"Only…" The Master hesitated. He wanted to show himself in a good light, but he knew he needed to be honest, now more than ever. "I'm sure the Doctor thought of it as quite a strong friendship. But I'm afraid I saw it as more of a business relationship. If I helped him, he owed me back. If he helped me, I looked out for him. Not because I was particularly fond of him, but because I saw him as a valuable ally."

"Is that how you think of him now?"

"I hadn't thought about it very much. But no, it is different now. He's still a valuable ally, but he's… He's also a valuable friend. I feel as if he really cares about me. I don't know why he would. Maybe I've never understood what caring is until lately."

"But you do now? So, what is it?" Jack challenged.

The Master scrambled to remember what the Doctor had told him. But then he tried to recall his own recent feelings and form words to describe them. "I think it's a sort of investment—putting your own happiness on the line for the sake of someone else's. You… you make yourself vulnerable to them on the faith that they'll be gentle with you. And if they don't keep up their end you don't retaliate. Because it wasn't about you to begin with; it's about them." He frowned and looked up to see that Jack was watching him now.

"That's more than just caring," Jack said quietly. "That's love."

Suddenly the Master felt too warm in his suit. "Is it?" _If you don't admit it now, you're a fool._ "Then… I love you, Jack."

Jack met his gaze fully then, and it was the Master who looked away. Slowly, Jack moved his hand across the table until it rested over the Master's. "Okay. It's okay."

"So, what happens now?" the Master asked, tentatively stroking Jack's hand with his thumb. "Do you love me?"

"I don't know. I think… I'm still a little afraid. I know you promised you wouldn't hurt me, but trusting you as far as I did doesn't sit right with me anymore."

"All right." The Master felt unsettled. _How could we go from completely obsessed back to zero trust?_ "How do I fix that?" he asked.

Jack looked down at the table, frowning deeply.

"Sorry, I guess I can't expect you to just know. But I'm really at a loss." _I need the Doctor._ "Is it the Year that Never Was? Is that what's holding you back?"

For a moment, Jack seemed about to shrug off the suggestion. But then he appeared to change his mind. "Yeah, I think it might be. I know we talked about it a little bit before and I forgave you, but…"

"Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting. I understand. And it's a lot easier when you feel safe and sure of yourself. It's only logical that things will have changed."

"I'm sorry."

"It's all right. It isn't your fault." The Master felt something like déjà vu, knowing that he was reiterating things he had heard others say—things he had never felt himself. _I'm becoming one of _them._ I feel sick._ But he braced himself. _Jack's worth it. I'll become a stuffy goody-goody if that's what it takes._ "We can talk through it. Not now, if you're not ready. And we don't have to be alone. We could at least have someone near at hand."

"Okay." Jack squeezed the Master's hand lightly. "I know you're trying. And I know this sucks for you. So I'm sorry."

"It'll work out," the Master said, hoping he was correct. "Take your time."

* * *

><p>Jenny grinned happily at her new companion. "I knew Simon would give in. He ran out of arguments when Dad suggested you stay with me."<p>

River smiled in return from her seat on the floor. "Simon doesn't like to let go."

"No; well, who can blame him there? So, tell me more about everyone. I gather you know a lot about them. Who exactly is Jack, for instance? All I know for sure is that he's a good friend of my father's."

"Jack is wrong."

"About what?"

"He's a fixed point."

Jenny took a few moments to consider. "A fixed point… do you mean in time?"

"Yes."

"How did that happen?"

"Something to do with a girl and too much energy."

"Isn't that how everything happens?" Jenny said with a laugh. She joined River on the floor. "Do you know how Jack met my father?"

River shook her head. She reached up to pull back the hair that had fallen out of the holder at the back of Jenny's head.

"Everyone's remarking on my hair. According to that Captain Hart, there's a disgraceful shortage of blondes around here. I heard him say that the only one on the _Serenity_ is married—that's your pilot, right?"

"Wash. He's married to Zoe."

"Do you ever put your hair up, River? It looks nice down, but I think you could discover a whole new style…"

Before long the brushes, ties and clips were out. River kept perfectly still while Jenny brushed out her long hair, pulled sections of it back and arranged it experimentally.

"What do you think?" Jenny asked, looking at River in the vanity mirror in front of them.

River smiled at her reflection. "Simon would be surprised," she said.

Jenny giggled and gave River's shoulders a squeeze. "Here, you want to try doing mine?" She pulled the tie from her hair and shook it out.

The girls traded places and River began brushing Jenny's hair slowly, as if she'd never done it for anyone else before. Jenny watched in the mirror and saw that River's enthusiasm seemed to grow with each stroke.

But suddenly River's face became sober and she dropped the brush. Jenny turned to face her.

"River? What's wrong? Are you all right?"

River seemed to look through Jenny. She stood frozen in place as tears rose in her eyes. Jenny stood and put her hands lightly on River's shoulders.

"What is it, River? Do you need me to call Simon?"

"My mother," River said faintly.

Jenny put her arms around River. "You miss her?"

"I forgot about her. Until now."

"I'm sorry. I don't even have a mother."

"You were born from a machine."

"How did you know that?"

River put her hands on Jenny's chest. "You have two hearts. Like the Doctor and Jack."

"Jack? But he's not a Timelord…" Jenny frowned.

River seemed to have forgotten her sudden unhappiness. She stooped to retrieve the hairbrush. "Sit down."

Jenny returned to her seat to let River resume styling her hair. She wondered how many more surprises she would learn about her father's friends.

* * *

><p>The Doctor looked uneasily at the Meddler and the Master, who were playing energetically with their laser fobs. "You really oughtn't do that in the control room."<p>

"We locked the coordinates," the Master dismissed him. "No danger. No… danger…" He jumped up to catch a laser pulse and quickly shot it back toward the Meddler.

"My turn yet?" John asked impatiently.

"Nonsense, you'd blind yourself for sure," said the Meddler.

John frowned. "Is that the Timelord's version of 'you'll shoot your eye out?'"

"Just put them on low force," said the Doctor. "Blindness only lasts a couple of seconds."

"Well, they are on low force, but…" The Master jerked his hand back as a laser pulse grazed over it. "Ouch."

The Meddler grinned. "That's another point to me!"

"Oh, I gave you that one. I'm still leading seven to four," the Master snapped.

"You seem to be in a better mood," the Doctor observed.

"I am." The Master caught the pulse in his laser fob and put it away. "Jack talked to me a bit. We're not… not by any means where we were. But I think it's a step in the right direction."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it."

"I would like a word with you, though."

The Doctor agreed and they walked down the passage.

"I want to talk with Jack again," the Master told him. "Discuss the Year that Never Was and help him see that I really have changed for the better."

"All right. That sounds like a good plan."

"I think it would be better if you were there, or at least nearby."

"I think that would be fine, if Jack's all right with it."

"Right. The other thing is Jenny."

The Doctor leaned back against the passage wall. "What about her?"

"Well, as you so aptly put it once, we're the only ones left."

"Meaning?"

The Master rolled his eyes. "Don't be thick. If we want the Timelords to survive as a species, Jenny is our best chance—if she can regenerate. With her human composition she may just be able to reproduce."

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again.

"What?"

"I'm… trying to decide whether or not it would be appropriate to hit you."

"I'm not suggesting anything dishonorable—I'm merely suggesting that you limit her marital options to the three of us."

"Three of—what the devil are you talking about?"

"The Meddler, Jack and myself, naturally."

"Don't be absurd. She's only a few years old at most. I've just gotten her back. We've barely spent any time together. I don't want to talk about this now." The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. "Just… don't."

"All right, don't get all upset. She needn't wed tomorrow. I just thought it best to put the idea in your mind so you can be prepared."

"For what?"

"For whatever." The Master smiled.

"Master, if you so much as—"

The Master held his palms up defensively. "I won't do a thing. Honest. Just think on it a little."

"In good time," the Doctor said firmly. He turned away and went back to the control room where John was shrugging into his jacket. "You going somewhere?"

"To the _Serenity_ for the night."

"Oh. Why is that? Or do I want to know?"

John smiled. "Probably not."

* * *

><p>Jayne led John through the <em>Serenity<em> as if he were leading a stealth operation in time of war. "Not one sound," he whispered. "I don't want nobody knowing you were here."

"Understood," John replied in a hushed voice. He let Jayne keep up his paranoid behavior until they were safely shut in the mercenary's room. "There now. Last time we had a private chat you said you'd like to see my favorite knife up close, isn't that right?"

"Didja bring it?"

John smiled and pulled back his jacket to reveal the sheathed weapon.

"Do you mind?" Jayne asked, eagerly holding out his hand.

John didn't move. "Go ahead."

Jayne awkwardly removed John's belt, doing a poor job of pretending he'd intended to all along. But he soon calmed under the charm of handling a fine weapon. "Sure is nice." He held the knife up so the light could hit the blade. "I got somethin' to show you, too."

He went to his bunk and pulled back a blanket that covered the wall behind it. There an impressive arsenal was stored, from tiny pistols up to heavy two-arm rifles. He selected one of the largest and held it up so John could see it. "This is my very favorite gun," he said proudly. "Name's Vera."

John grinned, remembering Gwen Cooper. "Lovely. I knew a lady who called me Vera once…"

"You?" Jayne quickly hid his surprise. "Well, I guess it makes sense on some level."

"She really is beautiful," John said, running his hand lightly over the gun, turning his wrist and flexing his fingers just so. He saw Jayne's eyes following his hand with rapt attention and the look in them said clearly that he was eager for the hand to be moving over his skin instead. "Why don't we let Vera and my knife get acquainted while we get down to business?" he suggested.

Jayne was not very up on poetic speech. His eloquent response was, "Okay."

They set their weapons aside and their clothes soon followed. John didn't mind letting Jayne play the more dominant role; he was used to that from new guys. Besides, Jayne kept things simple but fast and hard, and that suited John fine. It amused him how quickly Jayne came to climax, but he couldn't help being impressed with his short recovery time.

_God, he might just wear me out,_ he thought, smiling as Jayne started a new round. _Too bad it's not Jack. Damn. Jack._

"Gorammit, who'd of thought," Jayne muttered. "I'd never have believed doing a guy could be this good."

John struggled to pull himself back into the moment. "Once you try it you never go back," he said with an encouraging look. "My turn yet?"

"Hell, I don't care _what_ you do at this point. I'm in my happy place."

With a small laugh, John shifted position and entered Jayne carefully, not wanting to disturb his bliss. "You've got a hell of a drive," he commented.

"Thanks."

_Still think Jack could outdo you, though… he could go all night._ John tried to shake off the thoughts of Jack. He moved mechanically, trying to renew his excitement over having a new partner. But he didn't _want_ a new partner.

Jack's face swam in front of his eyes and he stopped trying to hold back. When he closed his eyes, the image became clearer. His hands moved over Jayne's arms and chest, but it was Jack now. All Jack. He didn't open his eyes again until a very un-Jack-like moan escaped Jayne, breaking the spell.

"That's quite the drive you got there your own self," Jayne panted.

"Record-setting," John answered playfully. But his heart wasn't in it. Jack's voice echoed in his mind…

_"I don't like the idea of you perving on me while you're doing someone else. It… seems wrong. And it's not fair to them."_

_Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Jack... I'm sorry._ John sighed and collapsed against Jayne. "Good night, mate."

"That's it? That's all you want?" Jayne asked incredulously.

"It's enough. Thank you."

"Well… okay, if you're sure."

_Sure? Now, there's something I haven't been for a long time. Not since Jack and I were partners. Not since he wanted me. God, Jack, I miss you so much. Please, stop doing this to me._

* * *

><p>The Master sat in his bed, reading the same paragraph of <em>The Hobbit<em> over and over. He wondered if he'd actually read the passage before, or if he'd accidentally skipped ahead. He tried to remember the hood colors of the dwarves that had already arrived at Bilbo Baggins's home, but it was no good. With a sigh, he set the book aside. He knew he probably wouldn't sleep that night.

When someone knocked on his door, he felt overjoyed at the distraction. He expected the Doctor, but it was Gray that entered his room.

"Sorry to bother you," Gray said a little sheepishly.

"I'm not bothered. Come on in."

Gray walked to the bedside. "I… had a really nasty dream and I don't want to go back to sleep now," he explained. "Jack and the Doctor have gone to bed and John's on the _Serenity._ I'm not supposed to visit the girls' room, so…"

"So I'm your last choice, eh?" the Master smiled. "It's all right. I'm not sleeping either. Have a seat. You can lie down if you like."

"Okay." Gray sat on the edge of the Master's bed and stared down awkwardly.

"This nasty dream—based in reality, was it?"

Gray nodded.

"Would you like to forget it?"

"Yeah."

"I can help you tuck it away," the Master offered. "You won't forget it completely, but it'll be deep in your subconscious where it won't crop up unless you go looking for it."

"How?"

"Just let me into your memories. I've been in there to help you get out of a nightmare before. Do you remember?"

"I thought that was part of the dream," Gray confessed. "It's kind of blurry."

"Yes, I thought you wouldn't remember much of it, since you didn't wake up completely. May I?" The Master reached out slowly and touched his fingertips to Gray's temples.

After Gray relaxed, the Master closed his eyes and concentrated on Gray's thoughts. "Try to keep your mind on the dream, but you don't need to play it out. Once I get a proper hold on it I can put it away."

"Okay." Gray kept still and his anxiety dropped gradually.

_Oh, lord, that _was_ a nasty dream,_ the Master thought, trying not to look too closely at the hazy images of Reavers tearing Jack apart. _Just tuck it away in a nice nondescript, little-used corner… Strange, I thought there'd be more of those._

A few moments later, he opened his eyes and moved his hands to Gray's shoulders. "There. Better?"

"Much better. Thank you. I guess I'll… go try to sleep now." He moved to stand.

"You don't have to leave. I mean, you certainly don't have to stay. But… well, I understand if you don't want to be alone."

Gray hesitated. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"I'm sure. Like I said, I probably won't sleep anyway."

Gray settled back on the bed and the Master moved to give him more room.

"I've been meaning to tell you," Gray said quietly, "that I think I understand what you told me before. About making up my own rules. I didn't get it then, but it makes a lot of sense now. And I'm sorry for the way I acted."

_The person who wronged you is more valuable than your grudge,_ the Master reviewed in his head. _But I like my grudge. Damn it._ "That's quite all right. No harm done."

"I thought that I… I don't know what I thought."

The Master felt out of his depth. He had seen traumatized people plenty of times, but he'd never really tried to help them. Usually he was the one who had inflicted the trauma. "You feel guilty now?"

"Very."

"And you understand that what you did was wrong?"

Gray was silent for a while, and the Master wondered if he was trying to make up his mind. But then he realized Gray was merely trying to keep his voice under control.

"Of course, it was wrong. I should be killed for what I did to him. I don't know what to do. I want to kill myself. Do you think I should?"

_Since when am I the judge?_ The Master thought grimly. "No… I don't think you should. But I can't say I know what you ought to do. Do you think you might hurt him again, if left to your own devices?"

"No," Gray said quickly. "No, I'll never hurt him again. I won't touch him."

In the old days, the Master would have reveled in Gray's agony. He'd have driven the knife deeper and twisted it. But now it was unsettling. He realized he didn't want to see Gray in pain anymore. Why was a mystery, but he decided not to worry about it. "If you're certain of that, then I think the best thing you can do is to try to make Jack happy again. And all things considered, I think you're in the best position to do that."

Gray leaned back against the headboard and wrapped his arms around himself. "I don't know how."

"Well, I doubt he'll tell you if you don't ask." The Master looked Gray over and saw that he was shaking. "Calm down—you're going to make yourself sick."

"I can't help it. I feel sick already. I want to sleep but I'm afraid to."

Gingerly, the Master put his arm around Gray and pulled him a little closer. "I can help you sleep. And I can keep the bad dreams away if you can trust me."

"Okay." Gray readily rested his head against the Master's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Why do you trust me so easily?" _You hated me not long ago._

"Because… you're the only person I'm sure has always been completely honest with me."

_Honesty. That's something I've never been known for…_ It was another odd feeling, but this one didn't seem bad. The Master decided he liked Gray's faith in him. It made him feel powerful again, but it was a new kind of power. The kind that didn't hurt anyone. He held Gray gently and entered his mind to be at the ready when the dreams tried to invade.

Gray made no resistance and fell asleep quickly, in spite of the Master's presence in his mind. He didn't wake again until morning.

* * *

><p><em>For those who may be wondering, I'm not planning any JennyRiver. If several people put in strong requests for it I might try... but it's kinda foreign/squicky to me. Their scene was mainly to show that Jenny's catching up on the state of affairs and that she and River are getting to be friends._

_Let me know what you think of the rest of the chapter as well. :)  
><em>


	40. Revisiting the Past

_Hi everyone ^_^ ... I know it's been 'forever' since I posted. Sorry. I have worked on this chapter in bits and pieces over the last few months. I hope it flows okay with the rest of the story. No idea how soon I can post again, but I hope this will tide you over for a while._

_News: The story is at 100 reviews. That's fantastic. Brilliant. :) Thank you so much.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Forty: Revisiting the Past

* * *

><p>"I need to talk to Gray again today," Jack said, putting his arm around the Doctor. "And the Master, too. Could you…"<p>

"I can monitor by audio or video or both; whatever you like."

"Okay. I think just video would be best."

"All right. Are you up for breakfast in the dining area today?"

Jack took a moment to consider. "Yeah, I think so. Actually, I'd like to go out after. Maybe walk down where we can see the town and just watch the people."

"Need to see civilization?" the Doctor guessed.

"Yeah; it's been a while."

"All right." The Doctor opened the door and they were confronted by John. "Oh."

Jack took a step back. "What are you doing? Eavesdropping?"

"No!" John said defensively. "I wasn't. I mean I really, actually wasn't."

"You weren't?" Jack asked in amazement. "Okay… so, what _were_ you doing?"

After a moment of obvious indecision, John confessed, "I need a hug."

Jack and the Doctor looked at each other.

"Why?" asked Jack.

"Never mind why; I just do."

_Ah, he's back early,_ the Doctor realized. Perhaps things hadn't gone so well on the _Serenity._

Jack held out an arm and John eagerly satiated his craving, squeezing Jack tightly.

"All right, let him breathe," the Doctor cautioned.

"It's okay," said Jack. He held John for what seemed like long time.

Finally, John moved back. "Thank you. I feel much better. You coming to breakfast?"

"If we can find time between suffocations," the Doctor muttered.

* * *

><p>River looked around the table at the others while they ate. "That's very rude," she said suddenly.<p>

"Sorry," said John.

Jack glanced at John and couldn't see anything he was doing that could be thought particularly rude.

A little later she said quietly. "It'll be fine."

Jack saw that she was looking at Gray this time. Gray nodded to her and resumed eating.

Next, River looked across the table at the Master. "You won't know until you try."

At first the Master looked annoyed, but then he shrugged. "No, I suppose not."

Then she looked up at Jack. Jack stared back at her. River narrowed her eyes slightly. Jack smiled at her. River broke into a grin.

"Does anyone else find this a bit dodgy?" asked the Meddler.

"John does," River affirmed.

The Meddler sighed.

Seeing that the Doctor was done eating, Jack asked him, "Ready to take a walk?"

"Yes, let's," the Doctor answered.

They wandered away from the Tardis, moving in the general direction of the town, but not hurrying.

"How do you feel?" the Doctor asked after a few minutes.

"Fine, I guess. It's a little surreal. Have you ever been in a nightmare knowing it was a nightmare but not being able to pull yourself out of it?"

"Yes. Sometimes my reason can overcome my imagination, but my subconscious isn't always cooperative."

"Well, that's pretty much how I feel now, only I'm awake. I guess I'm still in shock. But I know I'm in shock and I still can't seem to get over it."

The Doctor took Jack's hand. "Don't be frustrated. It's better to take it easy and let it heal right."

"It's not a broken bone, Doctor."

"Might as well be. The insufferable confidence bone."

Jack laughed. "Maybe you're right. If that bone heals wrong, we could be in big trouble."

"If it heals _right_, we could be in trouble, but anyway…"

They came to a halt on a rise overlooking the Barcelonan city.

"It looks different, doesn't it?" the Doctor said quietly.

Jack nodded. "Seems like years since we first got here. So much has happened."

"Of all the times and places, I had to choose this."

"Hey, look at the bright side. I think we have a lot to show for our time. The Master isn't the same sadistic bastard that he was, John isn't the same lying back-stabber he was, you're reunited with Jenny, Gray's snapped out of his unshakable hatred for me and we've contained the Reavers in their own timeline. All that might have been different if we hadn't come to this time and place."

"I suppose you're right. It's hard to look at the positive picture when I have such regrets."

"Really?" Jack turned toward the Doctor. "I don't have any regrets about the last few weeks—other than wishing I could have been with you the whole time. But even that's better the way it turned out. I wouldn't have wanted you stuck on the Reaver ship with me, and if I hadn't stayed behind we might all have been caught."

The Doctor was silent a moment. Then he commented, "I should have taken you outside sooner."

* * *

><p>Wanting to show some sort of goodwill, Jack took the Master's hand. He knew the Doctor was watching and that the Master knew it, too. "I'm not sure where to start," he said.<p>

"That makes two of us," the Master replied. He sounded nonchalant, but Jack thought his expression didn't quite match. "Go back as far as you need to."

Jack licked his lips, thinking back to the Master's reign as Harold Saxon, prime minister. Then he dragged his memories back further, to the theft of the Tardis. And then further still, to the end of the universe.

"Why did you kill Chantho?"

"That's what you do with annoying insects, isn't it? Kill them." The Master's initial amusement faded when Jack didn't react. "Okay. Sorry. But do you know what it's like to have someone so devoted to you that you just can't get rid of, who always says the same annoying things to you? And all that time she _could _have helped me, if she'd only brought attention to that watch. It was maddening. Besides, she tried to ruin my evil scheme."

"So, she deserved to die?"

"No. You asked why I did it, not what I thought of her now."

"Okay—so, what do you think of her now?"

The Master stared at the small room's carpeting for a few moments. "I think she was pitiable," he said. "The last of her kind, devoted to that fuddy-duddy professor Yana. She could have done so much better."

"I guess she was attracted to your intelligence," Jack said, remembering the insect-like person whom he had found strangely sexy. "There's something to be said for that kind of taste."

"Mm."

"Next question: Why did you shut the Doctor out? He was calling to you—he said you were the only ones left. Didn't that make you wonder? Weren't you at all interested to find out how the Time War ended?"

"Didn't need him to tell me; I had the Tardis. Could go wherever I wanted. Leave you lot to die. Or so I thought. But I knew there was a decent chance the Doctor would escape. He always was quite resourceful."

"Did you want him to escape?"

"Oh, yes. At least, I banked on it. I knew he'd want to stop me, and that's all part of the game. I make a plan; he thwarts it. I make a better plan; same thing. So this time, I thought I had the plan that would finally leave him powerless. And revenge was going to taste so sweet…"

Jack watched the Master's eyes glittering. The Timelord's hand felt hot in his own. "Do you still want revenge?" he asked quietly.

"Well… I won't lie; it hasn't lost all its appeal. But I am tired of it. I'm tired of being bested. Being told that I'm wrong. It isn't fair, but I don't want to kill him. I'm not sure I'm even up for humiliating him anymore. He's sort of taken the fun out of everything," the Master concluded with a regretful sigh.

"There's lots of other brands of fun to be had. Most of them are healthier."

"I s'pose. Next question?"

"Why did you kill me? You never seemed to get sick of it. Did you really enjoy it that much?"

The Master frowned. "Come on… I'd have thought it was obvious."

"Sadism?"

"No, no, no… well, not exactly." He stroked Jack's hand thoughtfully. "Morbid curiosity's more like it, I think. I mean, if you saw someone cut down a tree and the tree sprang up and started growing again, what would you do?"

"Cut it down again," Jack admitted. "But trees aren't sentient life forms."

"Not where you come from, maybe. But think of it—supposing you saw a man hanged and he died and then he came back to life. Wouldn't you want to repeat the experiment? To see if it happened the same?"

Jack opened his mouth to refute the question, but he hesitated. _Miracle Day._ He had seen his would-be assassin after an explosion. Still alive, still aware. And what had Jack suggested? Detaching the head to see if the person would survive. "Maybe I would. If it was an evil person."

"Ah, well. Evil is in the eye of the beholder. And you wanted to help the Doctor thwart my plans. Made you evil in my eyes."

"Okay. But even acknowledging that point of view, is that supposed to make me trust you?"

"No. What's supposed to make you trust me is that the Doctor does. He always knows when I'm lying. Always. So, ask him. Ask him if there's any doubt that I've really changed. He'll tell you."

It was a fair point. "Does he know?"

"About all the times I had you killed? He knows about a lot of them. I'd mention it sometimes to try and get him talking, but it didn't work. Anything else?"

"That's it for now." Jack stood and let go of the Master's hand. "I'll want to talk more later… just not yet."

"All right. Thanks for giving me a chance."

The Master was keeping his eyes down, and Jack felt a familiar squirm of guilt. "Thanks for being patient," he answered.

_It's not without effort. _"You're welcome."

* * *

><p>It took Gray a little while to realize what was wrong. Dair looked fine. He looked perfectly fine. Too healthy.<p>

"Hey, what did you do?" He pulled Dair's hand away from his face. "It's gone! What the hell did you do?"

"We took them out because they were infected," Simon answered. "He's a lot better off now."

John, who had come along "just in case," kept silent.

Gray looked down at the metal ring encircling his wrist. After only a moment's hesitation, he removed the ring and offered it to Dair.

Dair accepted it eagerly and shoved the ring over his arm, scratching it deeply.

"Hey," Simon protested.

"Leave him alone," Gray snapped. "You don't understand. Dair?" He rested his hands lightly on Dair's arms. "It's okay. I'll get you something else nice and shiny soon. But you need to talk to me."

"Mine?" Dair asked, rubbing the metal ring and smearing his own blood over it.

"Yeah, it's all yours. Dair, look at me."

Dair glanced furtively up at him.

"You're safe. These people aren't going to hurt you. You can have a real life now."

"I want Jack."

Gray tried to hold back his irritation. "Yeah? I was your friend before you met Jack. I'm the one who told you to hold on. The one who took care of Alena for you after you were gone. You said you'd find us. But you gave up like everyone else. Worse, because you became one of them."

"Gray."

Gray refocused on Dair's face and his anger ebbed away. "I'm sorry." He put his arms around Dair. "Can you talk to me?"

"Gray," Dair whispered. "Gray, I'm scared."

"I know. But it's going to be okay now."

"Where is Jack?"

"He's not far away. He'll come see you again soon, but you have to behave yourself. Understand?"

Dair nodded, his face brushing Gray's neck. "You're John?" he said, addressing John for the first time.

John looked up in surprise. "Er… that's me."

"You killed Alena?"

Gray turned to give John an encouraging nod.

"Um. Yes, I did. She was in a bad way."

"Thank you."

"You're… welcome?" John looked unsettled.

"Will you kill me, too?"

Gray put his hands at the sides of Dair's face. "Don't. It's going to be okay. Don't give up now. You're so close." He waited until Dair seemed to relax before he went on. "I'll bring a book later and read to you, okay? Help you get used to words again."

"Jack," Dair said, not demandingly as before, but more like a concerned inquiry.

"I'll remind him to come see you," John put in. "Doubt he's likely to forget, though. Like forgetting there's a mammoth on the second floor. Impossible."

"Thanks for calming him down," Simon told Gray as the latter passed him on the way out of the room.

Gray paused, holding back the comment he wanted to make and instead saying, "Thanks for letting River come back over."

River was waiting for him outside.

"He can get better, right?" Gray asked her, knowing she had been listening to their thoughts.

"It's a maze," River told him. "It's not in your dimension. You try to pull him out and he runs into the walls."

"How can I know where the walls are?"

"Trial and error. Simon shouldn't have taken his trophies away."

"No," Gray agreed. "Maybe we can go to Barcelona and find something new for him. Would that help?"

"It might."

They joined hands and wandered away through the Tardis.

* * *

><p>"I haven't brought anyone in here in ages," the Doctor said as he and Jenny entered the conservatory. "The trees have gotten bigger. I ought to cut them back a bit."<p>

"It's lovely," Jenny said. She looked around and around, from the plush sod under her feet to the unusual trees with their curved branches, to the blue- and green-petaled flowers. "Oh, that looks like a great climbing tree…"

The Doctor followed her to the tree she had pointed out. "It is. Barely taller than me when I first put it in."

"Oh, that's so hard to believe." Jenny ran forward and leaped nimbly up into the branches.

"Careful," the Doctor called, but he knew his daughter was an accomplished gymnast. His concern really was unfounded.

"This is lovely! So nice up here. Can I come here all the time?"

"May I. And yes, provided you promise not to do anything too foolish."

Jenny grinned. "Thank you so much. I should bring River here, too. I think she'd like it."

"No doubt."

"So, when are you going to tell me more about your school? The Timelord school… and that game you used to play?"

The Doctor's smile disappeared. "I told you, it's nothing. Just a silly game. Shouldn't have played it in the first place, and it's nothing to do with you."

"But… I'm like you. I want to know all about you."

The hesitation in her voice made the Doctor wish he could tell her everything she wanted to know, whatever she hoped to hear. "I will tell you more. I promise. But you've got to let me choose what and when."

"Okay." Jenny found a little group of branches like a cage to sit in and leaned back. "Will you come up here with me?"

"Think I'm a bit old for climbing trees."

"Oh, you are not. Please?"

_No,_ his better judgment told him. Then he found himself looking around, making sure the door was shut behind them, securing it with his sonic screwdriver…

"Okay, but just for a minute. Stop grinning like that."

* * *

><p>"It is kind of soon," the Doctor cautioned Jack as they approached Dair's room the next day. "You don't have to do this."<p>

"I know. But I think it will be better for him if I see him sooner. Maybe for me, too. Gray says he's doing better…" Jack paused outside the door and looked through the window. River and Dair seemed to be having a staring contest. The odd sight calmed him somewhat.

"Jack!" Dair said as they entered the room. He trembled and gripped the sides of his chair as if he wanted to get up but couldn't.

"Stay calm," River told him. "Don't get up. Can't get up."

"They seem to get along, for some strange reason," Simon told Jack. "Maybe the unusual thought patterns draw River in. I don't know—she's very curious."

"It's all right, Dair," Jack said. "I'm going to come over to you. You need to stay still and quiet." He knew the Doctor was worried, maybe holding his breath as he watched Jack slowly cross the room.

Dair took deep breaths and remained in the chair, his knuckles white from gripping too hard.

"It's okay," Jack murmured. "I'm coming." He felt his hearts beginning to race. _It'll be fine. He can't hurt me with so many people around. River can take him out if she has to…_ He paused. _Get a grip._ He blinked slowly and closed the distance to Dair's chair. "It's okay," he repeated, putting his hands on Dair's shoulders.

Dair reached up and took Jack's wrists loosely. "Jack, I'm scared."

_That makes two of us._ "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you alone, but I had to. I can't be alone with you until I know I can trust you, understand?"

"I was bad," Dair said, looking down.

"Yeah." Jack glanced back at the Doctor. The Timelord's face was hard to read, but his eyes stared intently, missing nothing. He turned to Dair again. "You'll get better though. We'll help you. You want to get better, right?"

Dair's eyes darted up at Jack, then to the sides and came to rest on the floor. He shuddered.

All Jack's fears ebbed away. Dair looked so lost, he couldn't help pitying him. He pulled the young man forward and kissed his head. "It's okay," he said, rubbing Dair's back. "Everything will be all right."

"It's okay," Dair echoed. He rested his head against Jack's ribcage and fell silent.

"He's glad you're here," River supplied, as if it weren't obvious.

"That's good," Jack murmured.

"He doesn't want to devour as much now. Just to be safe."

Jack smiled. "Good." He tilted Dair's chin up and kissed his face. "You're doing really well. I need to go, but I'll come back tomorrow, okay?"

"Stay?" Dair whined.

"I can't. But tomorrow. I promise I'll be here." Jack pulled away and Dair's hands slid off him reluctantly.

In the hall Jack asked the Doctor, "What do you think?"

"I'm rather impressed with his progress," the Doctor answered. "Of course, he's bound to have setbacks, but this looks good."

"Good; I thought so, too."

"I definitely prefer him seeing you when there are more people around."

"Yeah. I didn't think I would, but this was better."

* * *

><p><em>The Initiate sat cross-legged in the center of the Inquiry. He closed his eyes as the Inquiry began the chant.<em>

_.  
><em>

"_Eighth man bound_

_Make no sound_

_The shroud covers all_

_The Long and the Short_

_And the Old and the Loud_

_And the Young and the Dark_

_And the Tall"_

_.  
><em>

_He drank in the words, immersing his emotions, quieting his thoughts. Then he concentrated as the chanting became stronger and more rhythmic._

"_Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma…"_

_He kept his eyes shut tight and his mind chanted with them._

"_Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma…"_

_One voice rose above the others, repeating the verse: "Eighth man bound/ Make no sound…"_

Theta Sigma,_ the Initiate thought along with the chant._

"_The shroud covers all/ The Long and the Short…"_

Theta? Theta. Theta—what does that even mean?

"_And the Old and the Loud…"_

Theta Sigma… Sigma? What a silly sound. Theta Sigma. Theta Sigma…

"_And the Young and the Dark…"_

"_Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma…"_

Oh, gods, what does it mean? Theta sigma? Two words, four syllables, a sound, just a sound in the ringing silence. What is it? What am I? oh, hell, what am I?

"_Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma, Theta Sigma…"_

"_And the Tall."_

_The Initiate screamed as his face and hands burst into golden fiery light._

"Doctor!"

Someone had grabbed him. Someone had broken the Inquiry circle. He would get them both killed. It had to be Koschei, curse him.

"No, no…"

"Doctor, it's just a dream. Wake up."

The Doctor opened his eyes. There was Jack. _What's Jack doing here?_ He was in his own room. They were on Barcelona. They were alone. Just a dream.

He sighed and fell back into his pillow. "Jack." He found his friend's hands and held them. "Sorry. Just a dream, like you said. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Jack kissed the Doctor's forehead and lay back beside him. "You're not usually the one with the nightmares."

"I know, there's a switch." The Doctor smiled faitly. _Eighth Man Bound. How foolish we were. I won't let Jenny go through that._

* * *

><p><em>There you go. Hope it somewhat makes up for the long silence. I appreciate all your comments. :)<br>_


	41. Starting Over

_Sorry it's been so long again. I keep working on this story in little bits and pieces, going back to reread what I wrote, hoping I can make the next part make sense with the rest of the story. I know where I'm headed with it, but it'll take a while to get there. Thanks for bearing with me._

_Warning: adult content in this one; beware. A couple minor Doctor Who details._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<br>**Forty-one: Starting Over

* * *

><p>In the morning, Jack and the Doctor both woke early, but neither suggested getting up.<p>

"Are you and the Master making progress?" the Doctor asked, burrowing deeper under the covers.

"Some," Jack answered. "It's slow going. It's worse than it was after what happened with Gray. I don't like him touching me at all, and that's hard for him."

"Nothing wrong with taking your time. But maybe… do you think it would help if you got a bit more contact from the people you're more comfortable with? Help you get used to it again?"

"Maybe… but I'm not eager to let John start sleeping with me again."

"No, of course not," the Doctor said quickly. "Might not hurt to try sleeping by him, though. Also…" He paused. _This is probably a bad idea._

"Also?" Jack prompted.

"Well, you remember when I agreed to try to act more human for you if you could act like a Timelord?"

"Yes."

"What if… supposing I could help you ease back into more contact? If you could be sure you could act strictly as a friend toward me…" he swallowed. "I could try to act like a lover for you."

Everything seemed to freeze. Jack didn't make a sound. The Doctor couldn't hear him breathing when he held his own breath. He wondered if Jack's hearts had stopped, too.

_Please, don't misunderstand,_ he thought desperately. _I'll do anything for you, but… please._

"I don't know," Jack said slowly. "There are pros and cons…"

"Yes."

"It might be hard. To remember that it's put on."

"It might."

"And I… you're the best friend I've ever had. I don't want to risk ruining that."

"Nothing will ruin it." The Doctor felt Jack's hand cover his own and he clasped it firmly. "We can take very slow, easy steps. No more than we can handle. If it seems like it's doing more harm than good, we'll try something else."

Jack took a deep breath. "Let me think about it a while, okay?"

"Of course."

* * *

><p>"So, you going to tell me what's the matter?" Jack asked John after breakfast.<p>

From his expression, Jack could read John's chagrined thought: _He can tell? Oh, of course he can. What do I say?_

"A few things, I guess," John answered. "One, the mission's over and I don't really know what to do with myself. Two, you keep treating me like some old school pal you've fallen out of touch with. Three… you know how the Master and you and I were supposed to have a threesome?"

"Yeah. Guess I put that idea on hold for a while."

"Well, sort of. Only the Master and I decided to go ahead without you."

Jack looked around to make sure no one else was nearby. "You did what?"

"It was the night we got you back to Barcelona. We both wanted to be with you, but neither of us could, so we decided to double up. You did sort of give us permission."

"Yeah… I did," Jack admitted. It seemed like years since the VM conversation.

"But it was a bit underhanded… going ahead without saying anything to you," John went on. "So, I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"I'm not _happy_ about it, but it's done. Anyway, I didn't exactly stay faithful to the Master either."

"Oh, but Jack… Getting raped isn't at all the same thing as being unfaithful. He knows that."

There was a silence, and Jack got the feeling John was waiting for him to agree with him. Finally, he shrugged. "It's different," he allowed.

They fell silent and John leaned back against the wall of the Tardis. He absentmindedly flipped his VM open and pressed a few buttons, but didn't appear to actually be doing anything with it.

"Listen, I want to ask a favor."

John lifted his eyes to meet Jack's gaze. "Anything," he said.

_He has no idea what I'll say, but he's committing himself already._ Jack felt a tight squirm in his chest, but he ignored it. "Things are kind of weird right now," he said carefully. "I want to try sleeping by you tonight to see if it makes a difference."

"Sure."

"No strings attached…"

"Course. I understand."

_For some reason I thought he wouldn't. Can't think right anymore._ "Thanks." Jack gave John's shoulder a pat and walked away. He was sure it would be more awkward if he stayed around any longer.

* * *

><p>"Do you like it?" Gray asked, watching Dair handle the white silver ring in his fingertips.<p>

"Shiny."

"Yeah. I thought we could put that one up by your eye and the other one where that spike in your chest was. Would you like that?"

"Mine?" Dair looked around from Gray to River to the Master, who was hovering around near the door.

"Sure, if you want them. Try to use more words, okay?"

"Okay." Dair moved the ring up toward his eye.

Gray grabbed Dair's wrist and held it lightly. "Hang on. Let us help you."

"No."

"I need to make sure it goes in okay and that it will stay. You want it to stay in, right?"

"Yes," Dair said with a sigh.

"Don't pout."

The Master moved closer to watch Gray carefully pierce the skin near Dair's right eye. Dair gasped quietly and gripped the arms of his chair, but otherwise contained his discomfort.

"Okay, almost done." Gray wiped a little blood away before threading the silver ring through the new opening.

"Is that the usual method?" the Master asked.

Gray shrugged. "I don't know… but it's safer than what he would have done." He put a hand on Dair's shoulder. "Ready for the other one?"

"Let me?"

"Let you what?"

"Let me do it? Please?"

After a moment's consideration, Gray agreed. "Be careful. Two holes—an entrance and exit for the spike so you can always get it out again without any trouble."

"I don't want it out."

Dair took the lancet from Gray and eagerly pierced the skin of his chest. Gray wiped the more generous amount of blood away and slipped the little metal spike into place.

"These stoppers will keep it from coming out, but if you leave it a long time the skin will grow back around it and hold it there without any help."

"Good." Dair pressed the spike down, scooped up the drop of blood that appeared, and licked it off his finger.

"Hey, stop that," Gray scolded.

"I like it."

"Obviously," the Master said dryly.

"If you won't leave it alone, we'll have to cover it up for a while," Gray said threateningly.

"I'll leave it alone."

* * *

><p>Outside in the open, things felt safer. Jack and the Master sat on a deceptively cheerful-looking picnic blanket outside the Tardis as Barcelona's sun began to set.<p>

"It's time to talk about it for real," Jack said firmly. The firmness was more for his own benefit than the Master's. "I need to hear your voice and see your face and know that you're different now."

The Master nodded. "Whatever you want, Jack. I won't keep back anything."

..

It had been an unpleasant couple of weeks, chained up with very limited movement, unpleasant food to eat (though that the Master allowed him to eat at all was a wonder), and precious little company other than the occasional guard passing through. The Master visited him every now and then to kill him and to tell him how miserable the Doctor was, that Martha was still hiding, that his Torchwood team would soon be found and killed.

Today was different. The Master had real news.

"Something definite at last," the Master said gleefully as he stood in front of the chained immortal. "I've got news of two of your agents. I know all their names now, by the way. And I knew where to start looking. But now I know where the sister of Ianto Jones lives, and the parents and boyfriend of Gwen Cooper. I'm certain they'll get in touch. And when they do, we'll _pounce!"_ He clapped his hands together for emphasis, grinning when Jack blinked.

Jack did his best not to let his thoughts show. _Gwen won't call Rhys. She always leaves him out of the loop for his own good. She's too smart for that. But Ianto… he might try to warn his sister. He might know better than that, but maybe not…_

"You're worried. I can see you're worried. Good, good. If you think my plan might work then it's sure to."

Jack smiled then.

"What? What are you smiling for?"

"Isn't my team the least of your worries? I think they'd be really tickled to know you're devoting so much time to them."

The Master rolled his eyes. "Oh, I've got plenty of manpower out on the Martha expedition. Torchwood is just to make you squirm, freak. Just… for… fun."

"Well excuse me for not squirming," Jack said, straining forward against his chains. "You can't even keep me dead more than two minutes. And I know that no matter what you do to me, that's always going to bother you."

"Oh, guard," the Master called nonchalantly. "Freddy, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Master," the guard answered.

"Tell your squad they can have playtime with the captain here during their shifts. Keep things interesting for him. He's got to live forever, you know… can't have him getting bored."

"Yes, sir… what do you suggest we do?"

Locking eyes with Jack, the Master answered with a sneer, "Make him squirm."

So then "playtime" began. It didn't take the guards long to get over their inhibitions and start having a good time. They cut Jack to watch his flesh knit back together. They broke his fingers to watch them snap back into place. Inevitably, a few of them got curious about Jack's other foreign traits.

"They say you'll do anyone," Freddy commented one day. "Or any_thing._ That true?"

"So many species, so little time," Jack answered readily.

"Well, that just makes you an ideal toy, doesn't it? Impossible to rape, because you'll say yes to anyone."

"I make exceptions for people toward whom I have a personal dislike. You know, when you first got here, you seemed like a nice guy, Freddy. Misguided, sure. But you were still human. Look what you've been reduced to. You're a henchman. A torturer and executioner, and now you're thinking of turning rapist. And to add insult to injury, you're _straight._"

"Says who?" Freddy asked in obvious surprise.

"The tan line on your ring finger and the chain around your neck," Jack answered immediately. "Your wife died and you wear your ring on a chain now, don't you? You command a squad of soldiers, but your eye doesn't linger on any of them and you don't turn their heads. You're straight. And you loved her completely. I've been married before too, Freddy. But I have nothing but time. I can spend a lifetime married and start over again. But you meant for this one to last forever. What happened to you? Why are you here?"

The guard was staring at the floor now, and Jack knew he had gotten through. Time to push harder.

"What would she think if she saw you now?"

Freddy looked angry for a moment. Then he turned away from Jack. "She was everything to me," he said, his voice tight. The Toclafane killed her. Then the Master's recruitment call came and I thought, What the hell? What have I got to lose?"

"But the Master is the one who brought the Toclafane here."

"I just don't care anymore. Nothing matters. I have to do something. Otherwise I'll just die."

"It still matters. The Earth was her world, too. You know she wouldn't want you to let this happen—to help it happen. They took her from you and now you're just sitting on your hands while they separate more people from their loved ones. More death. Would she want that?"

Freddy didn't move.

"Well, would she?" Jack demanded.

"No."

So Freddy left the ranks of his torturers, pretending whole-hearted loyalty to the Master, but always looking for ways to make Jack's existence more bearable.

But not all of them could be reached with words. And not all of them were straight.

"Craft, wasn't it? You don't need to go picking on me when there's a whole squad of good-looking guards to choose from…"

Craft went on unbuttoning Jack's worn shirt without concern. "What's the matter, Captain? Thought you said yes to everyone."

"I say yes to everyone _nice._ You don't even like me."

"The Master wants us to keep things interesting for you." Craft paused to look Jack over before he went on disrobing him. "Besides… I think you're growing on me."

"Well gee, it's true love." Jack braced himself, determined to give Craft as difficult a time as possible. He knew there was no escape, so he didn't try. But he didn't knuckle under, either.

Craft put his arms around Jack from behind, running his hands over Jack's chest down to his waist. "Don't be difficult, Captain. No one likes a hard-ass."

Jack made no attempt at a snappy comeback, instead concentrating on moving or refusing to move in such a way as to give his assailant as little pleasure as possible. Having a good deal of experience to make him very good in bed, he also knew exactly what to do wrong to achieve the opposite result.

"Bitch," Craft growled in his ear. "You'd better give me something here, or I'll spend the rest of my shift seeing how much blood I can get out of you. Got that?"

He thrust harder and Jack flinched but refused to make a sound. And then Freddy arrived.

"Evening, Craft."

Craft paused in annoyance. "Lieutenant."

"I'll take over now."

"My shift's only half over."

Freddy stepped closer, staring Craft down as if Jack were not even there. "Maybe I want to start my shift early." He rested a hand on Jack's shoulder, acknowledging his presence for the first time. "You've been having such a good time, I think I should get to know the captain better." He stroked Jack's skin lightly.

Craft huffed in frustration and backed down. He fastened his pants and walked away, securing his belt as he went.

"Good night, Craft," Freddy called after him.

Once the guard was out of sight, Freddy moved to dress Jack quickly. "My god, are you all right?"

"I'm okay. Are you going to get in trouble for pulling rank?"

"Don't worry about it. Anyway, the Master likes people who pull rank. Power-hungry like him. How did I do?"

"You never would have convinced me."

"That bad?"

Jack smiled. "Thank you, Freddy. You can't expect to rescue me every time. But thank you."

And within a week, Freddy was dead.

..

"Did you have to kill him?"

"I needed you to be miserable. He was getting in the way of that. Anyway, that year never happened, so he came back—he's probably still alive somewhere. Living happily with his wife, no doubt."

"Would you rather have him dead?"

The Master rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Doesn't make much difference to me, to be honest. He's not my concern now. He can go on and be happy if he likes. Your team, too… never did get Gwen, clever girl."

Rather than follow that topic, Jack asked, "Does it bother you that I've had so many partners? Or that I let myself be taken by the Reavers?"

"You made your choices. And I never bound you to be exclusive. And there's absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty about something you had no control over." He cleared his throat. "Listen, I think I know what our problem is."

Jack sat up. "Let's hear it."

"Before, the attraction was very physical, and perhaps a bit intellectual. But now you want more than passion. You want long-term love. It's going to be different, so we can't expect a few conversations to fix everything so we can get back to where we left off. We're both different now."

"Yeah." Jack frowned at the picnic cloth. "Okay. So we finish sorting out the past and then we start again. Get to know each other over again. And decide if we should go on."

"Right." the Master sighed. This was going to take time. Lots of it. "Well, try to go easy on me. I've never tried anything like this before."

"I will." Jack shaded his eyes to look at the fading sunset. "It'll be dark soon. Let's go inside."

* * *

><p><em>Finally, we're in bed together again.<em> John pushed the thought away, knowing it wouldn't help anything. He took Jack's hand loosely. "How are things with the Master?" he inquired.

"Okay. We're… getting there, but it's going to take a while."

"Well. I'm here, if you need anything." _Like a shag. Dammit._

"Thanks." Jack gave John's hand a squeeze. "I know you're hanging around hoping things don't work out. But I still appreciate the support. You're being a good friend… not your usual."

"First time for everything." _If you don't want me… if you're going to stay with the Master forever, I may as well kill myself now. I don't want to live without you. Shut up._ John tried not to listen to his brooding inner soliloquy. "I love you, Jack."

The silence seemed to ring out, louder every moment, until John couldn't bear it anymore.

"It's okay. I know you don't feel the same now."

"I'm sorry. You're still one of my best friends…"

"Then that will have to be enough." John felt tears forming in his eyes and he resolved not to let them escape.

Jack rolled over and put his arm around John. "I love you."

The tears escaped.

* * *

><p><em>Hope you enjoyed. Reviews welcome. ^^ <em>


	42. Compromising

_This one is slightly longer than the last. No idea how soon I'll be posting again... here's hoping. Honestly the fact that I'm posting again so soon means I'm putting off things that I _should_ be doing.  
><em>

_Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. I'm glad people are still following the story. ^^ It would be kind of pointless otherwise. This one is mostly a bunch more conversations, but I do plan for there to be a little more action before we're done.  
><em>

_Warning: The usual brand of mature content plus a little sadism... well, you're probably used to that by now, too._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Forty-two: Compromising

* * *

><p>"How did you sleep?" John asked Jack in the morning.<p>

"Better than I have been lately. Thanks."

John kept an arm around Jack, knowing the intimacy would end soon and wanting to prolong it. "I want to ask you something."

"Okay."

"Every time I've suggested an attraction to Gray, you've become defensive or hostile. I know it's not because you want me, so it must be that you think I'd be bad for Gray. Is that right?"

"You wanted me to give up on him. Why should I think you have any respect for him now?" Jack countered.

"I do, though. I understand him better now, and I want to help him."

"Are you sure you're not interested in him because he looks like me?"

John held his tongue for a moment, waiting until he knew he could respond calmly. "I'm sure. It would make sense to settle for Gray because I can't have you. But that isn't why. And the attraction isn't one-sided. Gray's come on to me."

"Recently?"

"Right before the Reaver battle—the first one. And a bit afterwards, but he was sort of out of it." He waited, wondering how Jack would react.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Does he love you?"

"I'm not sure, but I want to find out." _Please… if I can't have you, he may be the only person that can keep me sane._

"I'll talk to him about it," Jack said at last. "If you can make him happy then I won't stop you."

"Thank you." John felt some relief, but some confusion as well._ It's what I want, isn't it? I could be happy with Gray. I could make him happy. Surely Jack isn't the only one I can be satisfied with. I hope._

* * *

><p>They both wanted solitude, but neither of them minded the other's presence. When they happened upon each other in the Astronomy room, Gray and the Master settled easily into companionable silence. The stars moved by overhead, the only indication of passing time.<p>

When his thoughts finally moved him to break the silence, the Master propped himself up on one elbow. "Made progress with Dair?" he asked.

"Some." Gray rolled onto his side to face the Master. "I've been reading to him. He's using a lot more words. And he and River get along really well. But I think he's getting frustrated."

"Why's that?"

"He's used to hunting and fighting and laying someone every day. He's going crazy having to keep quiet all the time."

"Going crazy? You mean crazier?"

"Crazy again, maybe."

"Well, I've the perfect solution."

"Yeah?"

"Sure. Lock John in with him. He's always saying he likes an aggressive lover—let Dair have him for a night. Get them both to shut up for a while."

Gray's shadowed face looked bemused, then thoughtful. "You know… they'd probably both like that."

"See? Perfect solution."

They laughed quietly.

"How about you—are you getting anywhere with Jack?" Gray asked.

"Sort of. We're basically having to start things over, though."

"Well… good luck."

"You approve?"

"If it makes him happy."

The Master smiled in curiosity. "What's it like, having a brother? Did you love him when you were kids?"

"Yeah. But it was different. It wasn't tense then."

"Still very awkward now?"

"Yeah." Gray sighed.

"You just have to go to him on his terms is all. Once he's sure you won't do him any harm, he'll accept you completely. You're always first with him."

"But I don't deserve for him to accept me."

"Maybe not… but that's the nature of forgiving, right? It's a sort of a one-way compromise. 'I won't hold anything against you whether you're sorry or not.' That sort of thing."

"I guess. I am sorry, though."

"Look at it this way: what have you got to lose? He wants you back, so why not give it your best?"

"You're right." Gray sat up and stretched. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

* * *

><p>"He's like a binger that's been fasting for a week," Simon told Jack. "He's been keeping an insatiable appetite at bay, and I'm afraid he's going to lose it and hurt someone. Gray, or River or me.<p>

"Can we sedate him a little?"

"I've been doing that already."

Gray looked through the door's window at Dair, who was sitting against a wall with his face hidden. "Well, the Master had an idea," he heard himself say.

"What's that?"

"Give John a crack at him. He's got an insatiable appetite, too."

The corner of Jack's mouth twitched.

"We can't leave someone alone with him, unprotected," Simon argued.

"Oh, John can handle himself," Jack said. "Just wonder if he'd go for it."

Gray wondered why Jack was giving him such an odd look. "The Master can give Dair an order under hypnosis," he added. "To make sure he doesn't hurt John seriously."

"I don't like hypnosis being used on my patients," Simon put in.

"Whatever works," countered Jack. "Gray, you want to see if John's willing?"

"Okay." Jack was still looking at him like there was more going on, but Gray decided not to worry about it. "I'm sorry," he said quietly before leaving.

He heard Jack say "It's okay," behind him.

Lately the first or last thing he said to Jack when he saw him (and sometimes both) was an apology. It was never enough.

He found John sitting in the control room with a bored expression on his face as he sat watching Jenny and the Meddler discuss the Tardis controls.

"John?"

"Yes," the captain said, eagerly turning to Gray.

"I need a favor."

"All right."

Quickly and quietly, Gray explained Dair's situation.

John rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "And you want me to?"

"I think it would help him. But not if you don't want to."

"Oh, I'm… I'm willing, I just…"

John was eyeing Gray almost in the same way that Jack had. _Am I missing something?_ Gray wondered. _Is there something else I should have thought of?_

"Well, I s'pose if the Master can make sure he doesn't do any lasting damage, I'll be all right, eh?" John got up, the odd look gone. "Let's make arrangements, shall we?"

* * *

><p>The Master found the request hilarious. "You're going in to sleep with the savage beast, just as soon as I tell him not to kill you in the process?"<p>

John smiled. "Good plan, eh? I like it rough, and no one else seems to be volunteering…"

"Shocking lack of volunteers," the Master said with a grin. "You're not _that _bad…"

"I meant volunteers for Dair."

"Well, I reckon I can ensure your relative safety. No time like the present?"

They went to Dair's space of confinement and the Master approached him while John, Gray and Simon looked on.

"Hullo, Dair."

"Master," Dair answered, looking wary.

"Don't worry; this won't hurt a bit. Now, you see John here? He's going to be very obliging and satiate your libido tonight."

"Does he even know what that means?" John whispered to Gray.

"I don't think the words matter much," Gray whispered back. "The hypnosis should get the idea across."

"So you've got to be careful not to do him any lasting damage," the Master went on. "We want to get him back alive and in one piece, understand?"

"I understand."

"Very good." The Master looked back at the others. "Happy?"

"That should do it," Gray answered.

John looked Dair over. "At least if you're wrong, it's a good way to go."

Suddenly Gray felt a little confused. He glanced from John to Dair, trying to find the reason, but the feeling did not recede.

* * *

><p>The Doctor gave Inara's image a smile when it appeared on the scanner. "Good to see you. How is everyone on the <em>Serenity?"<em>

"We're fine, thank you. No one's seriously hurt. We'd like a visit from all of you soon."

"I think everyone would like that."

"How is Jack?" Inara asked, concern on her face.

"Better. Things are still a bit tense, and he's having some trouble interacting with us, but we know that's to be expected. Still, he's a very resilient person and I've no doubt that he'll work things out. It will just take time."

"I think you're right. He's fortunate to have such good friends."

"We're fortunate to have him."

"And how's the Reaver patient? Simon says he's made some improvement."

"Seems to have. River's good at calming him down. He has some respect for Gray and he's terrified of the Master—which is just as well, I think."

"Has Jack had much contact with him?"

"Some." The Doctor thought back over their encounters, trying to decide how much to say. "Dair still wants to think of Jack as his property, but I think he understands now that we're not going to stand for that. His vocabulary is increasing quickly now. Gray's been reading to him."

"That's good. I hope he can recover completely."

"Thank you. I think he can."

* * *

><p>Jenny checked the reading on the sonic screwdriver and frowned. "Um… well, there's life."<p>

"Plant or animal?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, there are a couple trees nearby, and some grass… so there's got to be plant."

"You're forgetting something."

"Oh, us!"

The Doctor smiled. "There you go. So which is us?"

"The higher thermoreadings."

"Right. Plants keep the temperature down. Time lords are warm-blooded. What else?"

"Well, these two are more alike in signature, but that one's further away?"

"Good."

"So that one off there is the Meddler, and these are you and I."

"Very good."

"Our signatures are quite different, aren't they?"

"No two are ever exactly alike, even in the same species. But yes, ours are more different than the Master's and mine, or the Meddler's and mine."

Jenny looked back at the tool in her hands. "So, he should be in this direction…" she began walking and the Doctor followed. They halted under a large, gnarled tree. "Have I gone the wrong way?"

"No, you've just forgotten about elevation."

"Oh…" Jenny looked up. "Hello!"

The Meddler laughed, looking down at them from his perch. "Hello yourself. Found me in about four minutes. Well done."

Jenny smiled back at him and received a hug from the Doctor. "That was fun. Now you hide."

"Okay. Give me a few minutes to find a good place."

"We'll wait in my Tardis." The Meddler hopped to the ground and offered Jenny his arm.

"Ten minutes," Jenny told the Doctor. She took the Meddler's arm.

"Oh…" the Doctor eyed them, looking a little unsatisfied. "I can be ready in five."

* * *

><p>"Wonder if he knows what a condom is," John mused, watching Dair through the door window.<p>

"Want me to go in with you?" Gray offered.

"No… I'll figure it out, thanks." He gave Gray a conservative kiss. "I've got the VM if anything goes wrong. I'll be all right."

"Okay. Good luck."

John closed and locked the door behind him. _This feels wrong… but in a nice way. Like eating dessert before dinner._ "Hello, Dair."

"John." Dair got up and stalked toward him, looking like a predatory animal.

_Oh, this is going to be fun._ For a brief moment he wondered if the Master had only pretended to hypnotize Dair and actually left him to the mercy of a misguided savage. "Slowly," he said. "Let's take our time. We've got all night."

It took patience, skill and grit. John's shoulders already bore stinging scratches, but he had persuaded Dair to let him put a condom on him. He was sure he would be able to get his own on without much difficulty when the time came.

_Thank goodness… he may have had hundreds of partners… no telling what he's carrying._ He let Dair take him, encouraging him to slow down, laughing when he was bitten and biting in return.

"God, you are a piece of work, aren't you? Here…" he pulled Dair's hand down to his crotch. "I'd like a little help, if you don't mind." He grunted when Dair's hand clamped down on him. Then he laughed. "All or nothing with you…"

Dair nibbled along the back of John's neck and licked the scratches on his shoulders.

"That's it. Easy." John closed his eyes and relished the sensations assaulting his mind. He felt Dair's free hand smoothing over his chest in contrast to the rougher treatment from the other. Dair thrust harder and John moved to meet him. _That hurts so nicely…_ "More," he heard himself pant.

Dair needed no further encouragement. He moved faster and harder, grasping at John's chest until his nails broke the skin. John came with a deep groan followed by a laugh.

_No matter how rough he was, Jack never quite went this far. Didn't want to hurt me. Couldn't understand that I wanted to be hurt. Oh, damn, Jack… _John sighed, barely aware of Dair collapsing over him and licking him softly. _Best lay I've had in a long time… Still not Jack._

"More?" Dair asked quietly.

"In a minute," John answered, managing a smile. He ran a hand through Dair's dark hair. "I'm yours for tonight."

"Mine?"

"Just on loan."

* * *

><p>"Think he'll be all right?"<p>

Gray was surprised to see Jack waiting for him in the passage. "Yeah… Dair's a lot better now. And you know John." He kept his eyes down.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess."

Jack moved closer and Gray fought the impulse to back away.

"You can talk to me," Jack told him. "I want us to be able to talk."

_I do too, but it's so damn hard. What am I supposed to say?_ Tentatively, Gray reached for Jack's arm. He soon found himself lightly embraced in his brother's arms. "I'm so sorry." He felt tears springing up in his eyes.

"It's okay."

"But it isn't… it'll never be okay. What I did to you—"

"Gray." Jack pulled back enough to look into his brother's eyes. "I love you. Nothing you do will change that."

"I hurt you." The tears ran down his face almost at the same moment. Jack brushed them away gently.

"We can't change that now. We have to move on. You have to try."

_I'm the one that was so horrible to him, and he's the one trying to help _me._ I don't understand._ "I'm sorry. Jack…" Gray gave Jack's coat a tiny tug and got back the embrace. "Oh, Jack."

"Shh." Jack kissed Gray's neck and rubbed his back. "I need to ask you something," he said after a minute of silence.

"Okay."

"It's about John. Do you like him?"

"Yeah… sure, I like him."

"Do you think you'd like him as a lover?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure if I want a lover." Gray tried to turn his thoughts in the direction of romance and they seemed to hit a roadblock.

"Well, I'm asking because I know he's attracted to you. He wants my permission before he tries to make a move, and I won't approve unless you're interested."

Gray rested his head on Jack's shoulder and sighed. He remembered the little lesson in swordplay and the spontaneous kiss that followed it. _Is that what I really want? Am I even enough of a real person anymore to be a lover? _He replayed the scene in his mind. _He objected but… he wanted me. Maybe it's worth trying._ "If I want to try… you'd be okay with it?"

"Yes."

_What do I have to lose?_ "Then I think I do." _It might help._

"Okay; I'll let him know tomorrow."

* * *

><p>Gray let himself into the Master's room and found the Timelord reading a book.<p>

"Nightmares?" the Master guessed.

"No… I just don't think I'll be able to sleep. I was hoping…"

The Master lifted the covers invitingly. "Come on."

"Thank you." Gray climbed in and instantly relaxed.

"Did you talk to Jack?"

"Yes. I still don't know what to say to him. But he doesn't seem to care."

"Forgiving to a fault."

"He told me… John wants to… I don't know what you'd call it in this case. Date me? Court me?"

"Seduce you?" the Master supplied. "Do you like the idea?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I wouldn't mind someone distracting him from Jack."

"Do you think he actually loves me?"

"How would I know? I'm not very experienced in affairs of the heart."

Gray sighed and put an arm around the Master. A moment later, he felt the Master's fingers working through his short hair, combing it back soothingly.

"You're wondering if he only wants you because of Jack."

He hadn't thought so in words, but as soon as he heard it, Gray knew it was exactly what he had been wondering. "Do you think so?"

"It's possible. But the best way to find out is probably to talk to him yourself."

"Yeah." Gray fell silent, and the Master turned out the light to help him sleep.

_Soon he was wandering about in strange dreams. He knew something terrible was going to happen any moment. If he could only find Jack, things would be all right. But the more he searched, the more certain he was that he would never find him, and the more he caught sight of dark shapes creeping up on him._

"Master," Gray called, not knowing if anyone was near enough to hear him.

_Then the Master was at his side, putting an arm around him and warding off the dark shapes with a wave of his staff. _"You're safe. Jack is safe. Just rest."

He dreamed of nothing else until morning.

* * *

><p>In the control room, the Doctor stepped back from the scanner when he saw Gray and Jack part ways. He smiled and switched it off for the night with a flick of his sonic screwdriver.<p>

_Looks like the brothers are doing all right,_ he thought. _Not all better yet… getting there._ He headed for his room, knowing he would meet Jack there. He wondered if Jack had an answer to his proposal yet. What if he agreed? Would it be even more awkward if he didn't?

_Why am I nervous? Even if he agrees, it's not real. It's a sort of therapy, that's all._ The Doctor paused and looked down at his damp palms. _Oh, lord, this is ridiculous. Get a hold of yourself._ He rubbed his hands over his jacket and continued on in determination.

_It won't be awkward either way. I won't let it be, that's all._

Sure enough, Jack was waiting in the hall.

"Things all right with Gray?" the Doctor asked, using his sonic screwdriver to unbolt the door; the regular lock had not been repaired yet.

"Yeah. He's still kind of timid and really guilty. But it's getting better."

Neither of them talked about sleeping arrangements. It was understood now. Jack followed the Doctor inside and they prepared for bed.

"Have you thought over my suggestion," the Doctor asked nonchalantly before beginning to brush his teeth. He waited, brushing lightly so he could hear the answer when it came. Jack was out of sight, changing in the bedroom.

"I have a lot," he said at last. "I think it's a good compromise… worth trying, anyway."

_Good. Good?_ The Doctor wondered if he'd been hoping for this answer all along. _It does mean he trusts me. And he's ready to try something new, so it's a sign of some recovery. It's good._

"Righ,'" he agreed and spat in the sink. "If it doesn't work out… at least we tried." _Like trying to save me from regeneration. We're still good friends. Maybe better friends than we might have been otherwise._

When he returned to the bedroom he was surprised to find that Jack had gotten into bed ahead of him.

_Please tell me that's another sign of recovery and not… anticipation._ He shed his robe, got settled and turned out the lights. Then he found Jack's hand.

"You won't hesitate to tell me if it gets uncomfortable?"

"I'll let you know," Jack said firmly. "And you make sure I know it if I forget myself."

"Okay." The Doctor laid a kiss on Jack's forehead. "Good night, love."

"Good night," Jack answered, giving the Doctor's hand a squeeze.

The Doctor relaxed. It would all be all right. _I've been a lover before; I know what to do. The trick will be knowing where to draw the line._ He rested his free hand on Jack's arm and closed his eyes to sleep. Then a smug smile came over his features in the dark.

_If the council could see me now._ It still felt dangerous to defy them, even though he knew there was no chance of being punished. It still felt good, too.

* * *

><p><em>Leave me your comments. Like? Dislike anything? Comments make me excited to write again. ;)<br>_


	43. Uncertainty

_Here's a nice long one for you. A nice fluff/angst mix. Content isn't very heavy. Thanks for the reviews; keep it up. :)  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>_  
><em>

Forty-three: Uncertainty

* * *

><p>Jack woke to a light, warm kiss. He was about to return it with a little more passion when something in the back of his mind warned him that that would not be the best reaction. His eyes flew open and he found the Doctor looking down at him fondly.<p>

"Good morning."

_So. Freaking. Cute._ "Good morning." Jack put his arm around the Doctor, who was propped up on one elbow, and rubbed his back lightly.

"How do you want breakfast?"

_I don't care. _"Can we have it in here?"

"All right. What do you want to eat?"

_I don't care._ "You choose something."

"Okay. I'll be back in a few." The Doctor gave Jack's hand a squeeze before heading out of the room.

_Just friends,_ Jack told himself firmly. But he couldn't completely cancel out the thought, _I could get used to this._

He knew he should get dressed, but he didn't feel like it. _That's new,_ he realized. He had gone back to sleeping shirtless only in the last couple of days, and usually when morning came he felt the urge to cover himself as soon as he woke. He wondered if the Doctor would notice a difference. He decided he didn't care either way.

Before long the Doctor came back with a tray full of hot food. Jack listened while the Doctor explained what each thing was and he found them all to be at least interesting and most to be delicious. But even if it had tasted like dirt he would have continued to eat off the tray, simply because the Doctor was eating off it, too.

"Think I'm going to fix the lock on that door today. Will you give me a hand?"

"Sure. After all, I broke it." _I love it when he talks before his mouth is quite empty._

"I think it will be good if we have something to occupy us. Might help prevent over-thinking."

_Which I'm already doing,_ Jack realized. "Yeah. Good idea." He took a drink of fruit juice—he couldn't remember what fruit the Doctor had said it was from—and sighed contentedly. "That was really good."

The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at him. "You've got food on your face."

"I do? Where?"

Everything seemed suspended in time as the Doctor leaned toward him… everything except one wild train of thought.

_No way. Are you kidding me?_

"Right here." The Doctor licked the corner of Jack's mouth.

_Oh. My. God._ Jack gripped the bed sheets to keep his hands from flying up into the Doctor's hair. _I'm just his friend. Ohhhh. This is so unfair._

"That's better." The Doctor smiled. "You okay?"

"Yup. Fine." _No; do it again!_

"Okay. I picked up the hardware in town yesterday. We can start anytime you like."

Jack nodded, still trying hard to keep his thoughts in line. Suddenly he remembered something. _John._ "Oh, god…"

"What? What is it?"

Jack sprang out of bed and hurriedly pulled on his pants and shirt. "John spent the night with Dair."

"What the devil did he do that for?"

"Fun?"

"What? Wait a minute…"

"I have to see if he's okay."

Jack hurried from the room, down the passageways until he saw River crouched outside Dair's room.

"It's all right," River informed him. "They're both purring."

_Purring?_ Jack remembered the way John looked some mornings. _The cat that ate the canary. He's happy, then._ He relaxed and approached the door.

The two people inside were sprawled across Dair's bed, half dressed. John turned his head to meet Jack's gaze. He looked content, except for the blood on his face and what looked like the beginnings of a nasty bruise on his neck… and his arm. And his side. And the scratches on his shoulder. And forearm. And…

Jack quickly punched in the code and opened the door. "John?"

John smiled at him. "Morning, handsome."

"God, John." _It's worse than I thought. He's bruised and scratched and bitten everywhere. Why the hell is he smiling?_ "Look at you… come on." He took John's hand and tugged his shoulder gently. "We need to clean you up."

"I'm all right."

Dair rolled over and opened his eyes. "Jack." He started to sit up.

"Stay there," Jack said firmly, feeling as if something cold were wriggling in his stomach. "Just stay there."

Dair lay back again, looking like a whipped dog.

"Jack, I'm okay," John insisted.

"You're not okay—you're all torn up."

"It's not as bad as it looks."

"You don't know how it looks. Come on."

John sighed and got up, grabbing articles of clothing on the way. "Really, I'm fine."

"Jack?"

Jack looked back warily at Dair. "What is it?"

Dair was looking toward Jack, but avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry."

He sounded sincere. _Why is he apologizing to me?_ "Tell John you're sorry."

"Jack," John started.

Jack shushed him.

"I'm sorry, John."

"Okay. Just be good and quiet… read or something."

"I'll stay with him," River offered.

When Jack looked at her doubtfully, John said, "If he tried anything, she'd kick his butt. She's fine."

Satisfied, Jack led John to the nearest bathroom, which was just a couple of doors down. "Look at yourself," he said, turning John toward the wall that was composed entirely of mirrored glass.

"Oh, I'm a sight," John said with a smile. He strained to reach some dried blood near his mouth with his tongue.

"Stop it." Jack realized his hands were shaking. "Look what he did to you." _It's like he can't see…_ He put his arms around John and held him firmly.

John returned the embrace. "Jack, I'm okay. Really, I am. I could have relayed for help if I needed it. But this is what I wanted."

"Why would you want this?" _It makes no sense._

"Oh, you know me," John said. He kissed Jack's neck and turned his head to look at his face in the mirror. "I've been addicted to intense sensations all my life. Pain's just like another drug."

"It's not good for you."

"Neither are drugs."

"John… shut up." Jack backed John up to the counter. "Sit."

"I remember the last time you said that."

John did as he was told and sat still while Jack ran the tap and applied a warm cloth to the wounds on his face. A minute later the Doctor entered with a first aid kit.

"You look dreadful."

"Thanks." John smirked. "Hey, don't let Gray see me like this, okay? He might think Jack's making love to me. Just kidding. But seriously, don't let him in until I'm cleaned up."

"Okay…"

John laughed suddenly as Jack applied antiseptic to a scratch.

"What's so funny?"

"John laughs when he's in pain," Jack explained.

"Have done for a long time," John agreed with a shrug.

The Doctor shook his head. "Have fun with that. I'll make sure Gray doesn't come in." He exited.

John kept still while Jack tended to him, doing his best not to make too much noise. Jack knew he was holding back to keep him from worrying.

"You won't try this again, right?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"I don't want you to."

"I'm really all right, Jack. They're just scratches. And bruises."

"All over."

"Okay, sure. But I'm still smiling." John put on a very cheerful expression.

"If you do, the Master needs to give Dair better instructions."

John sighed, but he didn't argue.

When Jack had tended all the scratches above John's waist, he stepped back and looked at him expectantly.

"What?"

"I know there's more."

"I'm fine, Jack. It's nothing serious."

"I know what he does."

John reached for the antiseptic. "I'll take care of it myself, okay? I know you don't want to see my equipment anymore, and in light of my wanting to get together with Gray, it's better that you don't. Right? By the by, did you ask him?"

"Yeah, I did." _Last chance to stop it. Do I really want him dating my brother? It'll be awkward…_ "He said he's interested. So you can go ahead. Just be very careful."

"I will."

"I mean it. If you hurt him—"

"You'll kill me? Okay. Won't have much to live for anyway. Never have; you know that."

To John's surprise, and a bit to his own, Jack found himself hugging his friend again. "I don't hate you, okay? It's just that he's the only family I have. He's been through so much shit already. I want him to be happy."

"I know. Jack, it'll be all right. I'll be careful, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"Finally awake," the Master observed.<p>

Gray stretched. "What time is it?"

"Dunno. Midmorning, I think."

"Oh, crap. I need to see if John's alive."

"Eh, no hurry," the Master chuckled.

Gray got up quickly. He paused at the door. "Thanks for last night," he said.

"Any time."

Gray stepped into the hall, nearly colliding with John.

"Whoa, in a hurry?"

"I was about to come see if you were alive," Gray said. It felt strange to exaggerate like that. He hadn't acted light-hearted for a long time. "You look pretty beat up. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. What was that about?" John asked, nodding toward the Master's door.

Gray tried to figure out what John might be referring to. "What…" _He must want to know why I was in the Master's room,_ he concluded belatedly.

"That 'Thanks for last night.' What was last night?"

_He heard me before I opened the door._ "Sometimes if I can't sleep, I go to his room. The Master's good at keeping the nightmares away."

"Really. What else is he good at?"

_What is he talking about?_ Gray frowned. "Are you jealous?"

"Should I be?"

"Yes!" came the Master's voice from inside the room. "Be very, very jealous."

John reached past Gray and opened the door. "All right, what's going on here?"

The Master shook his head. "Are you two having a lovers' spat before you're even lovers? Ridiculous. Anyway, you've no reason to be jealous except that you're not versed in hypnosis. Gray has nightmares, I'm good at getting rid of them as you know, so we sometimes pass the night together for convenience. I only fall for immortal humans. Now, go court somewhere else."

John closed the door abruptly.

There was an awkward silence. Then Gray said, "I can't believe you're already jealous."

"I've had a lot of people stolen from me," John said with a shrug.

Gray reached for John's arm and John pulled away, looking wary.

"What are you up to? I don't trust you after the last time you touched my VM."

"It all turned out fine. I just want to go outside."

Still distrustful, John held out his arm and let Gray set coordinates.

A moment later they appeared on a hillside far from the city. They could just make out the Tardis in the dry valley below.

"So, Dair tore you up pretty bad?" Gray said, looking John over. He could see scratches and bite marks on Johns face, neck and arms where his tee shirt didn't cover them.

"I liked it."

"Is it important to you to have a violent lover? Because I don't want to do that."

"That surprises me a bit."

"I was a different person before." Gray worked the vortex manipulator off John's wrist and leaned down to kiss the place it had been. "I know it doesn't change anything, but I really feel like I'm not the same person that did this to you." He looked up. "I don't know how to tell you I'm sorry."

John took Gray's face in his hands. "That's good enough for me," he said, and kissed him gently.

* * *

><p>"What's wrong?"<p>

_Everyone thinks I'm bad._ "Nothing."

River climbed onto the bed and crouched precariously on its edge. "Do you think you're bad?"

_Am I bad? I hurt Jack. I hurt John. Maybe I am bad._ "I don't want to be bad."

"You're not."

Dair looked up, meeting her eye for the first time. "You don't think I'm bad?"

She shook her head. "You had a bad dream. It's time to wake up."

_It _was_ like a bad dream. A very bad dream. I want to wake up and be back with Mom and Dad and Alena. Mom would sing to me to chase the bad dream away._

River took his hand and smiled. She began to sing in a language he didn't know. Her voice went up and down quickly, like it was running on steps. It was different from the things his mother used to sing, but he liked it.

_Is it really over? Can I wake up and not worry? What about Jack?_ When River stopped singing he said, "Jack's mad at me."

"He was just worried about John. It'll be all right."

"Will Gray read today?"

"I'm sure he will. Or I can."

_Yes. Please, read._

River went to the stack of books on the table and retrieved Stewart Little, the one Gray had been reading to Dair. "Make room," she told him.

Dair moved over against the wall and River sat next to him on the bed. She opened the book and began right away, reading clearly and more confidently than her spoken words usually were.

About halfway through the chapter, Dair looked up to see Simon peering through the window. The young doctor looked concerned at first, but then his expression softened to a smile and he backed away from the door.

Dair relaxed and closed his eyes, focusing all his attention on River's voice. _It's all right now. It will be all right._

* * *

><p>"Dad, the Meddler's going to town; may I go?" Jenny asked, smiling but sounding nervous.<p>

The Doctor stopped in his tracks and deliberated. "Er… what for?"

"Just exploring, mainly. Fun. Getting new things for his Tardis since the Reavers ruined a lot of his belongings."

"Well…" the Doctor looked very reluctant. "Is River going with you?"

"She's reading to Dair. I asked her and she didn't want to come."

"Well…"

"What's wrong?"

Jack smiled at the scene unfolding before him. _Doctor's all protective. So cute._

"I'm sure there are a lot of people in town who are angry with us because of the losses we took on the mission. If they know you two were part of it they might do you harm."

"No one's seen either of us in town before, though. We just won't tell them. It'll be fine."

"Sure," Jack put in. "It'll be fine."

"Very well," the Doctor said with a sigh. "But see that you're back before sundown."

"Oh, thank you!" Jenny threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "I'll see you later."

"Goodbye." The Doctor returned her smile half-heartedly.

"She'll be okay," Jack said as Jenny fairly flew back up the passage toward the control room. "Let's go fix that door."

Fixing the door could easily have been a one-man job, but they shared the work anyway. The Doctor took the lock mechanism from the door with the help of his sonic screwdriver. Then they straightened the bolt that had been badly bent when Jack broke the door open.

"Now, we'd better replace that section of frame rather than trying to repair it, or it won't be very strong." The Doctor got to his feet and gave Jack a hand up.

"Do you have lumber?"

"Yup. _Suivez-moi__."_

"Not _allons__-y?"_

"Gotta keep you guessing."

Jack grinned. He followed the Doctor through many passages until they came to a door Jack had never been through.

"It's… like a jungle."

"Not really. Doesn't go very far back. Come on."

The Doctor led Jack through the trees and behind a viney curtain. There he saw a work bench with all sorts of woodworking tools, most of them very old-looking to Jack.

"Okay. The Door is six and a half feet tall…" The Doctor selected a plank and laid it on the bench. He set the end of a tape measure against its end. "Hold this, please."

Jack held the tape in place, his hand brushing lightly against the Doctor's. He watched entranced as the Timelord marked the board with a pencil. Then the Doctor stood back, tossed the tape aside and picked up a power saw that looked like it had been made after the twenty-sixth century, at least, but before the thirtieth.

"Goggles," the Doctor instructed. They both put on a pair of thin, clear safety goggles. Then the saw began to whir with a faint high-pitched tone that grew in volume and unpleasantness when the Doctor put it to the wood. But the cut was done in a moment.

"There we are." The Doctor removed his goggles and blew the fine sawdust away.

"Do you work with wood a lot?" Jack asked, looking around the cluttered area.

"Not often… haven't needed to for a few years, actually. Let's get this back to my room and get the latch and bolt set up."

Some time later, the Doctor stepped back from his door to admire their work. "Good as new," he said. He put an arm around Jack. "Thanks for your help."

"I didn't do much." Jack wanted to put his hand over the Doctor's on his side and stroke it, but he decided that wasn't really acceptable "friend" behavior. Not over a lock. He also wanted to mention how cute the Doctor had looked in his goggles, but he decided against that as well.

Then he felt the Doctor's hand move, creeping up his side. It stopped just below Jack's chest. He relaxed. Then he stiffened as the Doctor's thumb brushed upward lightly, back and forth.

_This is so unlike him… but it's so nice. If he were any sweeter I'd get a cavity._

"You all right?" the Doctor asked gently.

"I'm fine." _In fact… I'm so okay with this that I'm not sure it's therapeutic. Should I just call this off now?_

But no, it was too early for that. He had to give it a proper try, anyway.

* * *

><p>That afternoon, the Doctor found Simon looking over some papers on a clipboard in Dair's room.<p>

"How's he doing?" the Doctor asked.

"He's making progress. Faster than I expected, actually." Simon set the clipboard down and looked over at his patient. "I think it would do him good to get outside, but I would have to know he wasn't going to run off and attack people."

"The Master can see to that. Or handcuff him to River. It worked with Gray."

Simon smiled a little. "Yeah. Doctor… there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Go ahead."

"It's about the nanogenes."

"Ah." The Doctor looked back at Simon knowingly. "You've seen how they heal and now you're wondering if they can reconstruct?"

"Yes," Simon admitted. "I know they're not from this time. But it would be okay to do this, wouldn't it? River doesn't deserve the half-life she's been living the last few years."

"If I say yes, would you really be satisfied?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been trying so hard to cure her yourself. I've seen the work you've put in. You may not be as frighteningly clever as she is, but you're really a brilliant young man. And I know what it means to you to be the one to help her."

Simon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It would sort of make everything perfect. But I'm not so naïve, Doctor. I want River to be well as quickly as possible. There's no telling when or if I'll find another way."

"True enough. Well, I honestly don't know if it will work or not. Given enough of the right materials, I should think it would. But I can't be sure."

"Then I guess I should ask her. If she's okay with it, we'll give it a try."

"All right. Let me know. Meanwhile, I'll ask the Master about taking Dair out."

* * *

><p>Jack looked at the astronomy room's ceiling and imagined that he was outside. It was only late afternoon, but he found it easy to pretend it was night. Night on some small, slow-turning planet where night lasted a year.<p>

The door opened a crack and reality seeped in. Jack blinked at the door, trying to make out who had opened it.

He thought he recognized Gray's silhouette, and a moment later the voice confirmed it.

"Jack? May I talk to you?"

Jack sat up. "Sure. Come in."

Gray came a few feet into the room and crouched on the floor. "I want to get rid of all this… pain between us," he said. "There's so much, but you said we could take it a little at a time."

"Yeah." Jack waited, not sure where to start.

"I shouldn't have blamed you for what happened."

"I understand why you did. Dad told me to keep you safe and I didn't."

"We were both so scared…" Gray trailed off.

_He remembers it more clearly than I do, even though he was so little. He has to relive it over and over. It's no wonder he hated me._ Jack inched closer to his brother and took his hand. "It's okay."

"Why is this so hard? It's just… words."

_Just words?_ Jack wondered if Gray was trying to detach himself from his feelings in order to be able to talk about them… he'd done so himself many times. But Gray probably didn't have much experience. "This is what makes us different from non-sentient life," he said, rubbing Gray's hand lightly. "Emotional pain elicits a physical response…"

"It's not helpful to us. Whoever decided to keep this crap in the gene pool was a moron."

Jack half smiled.

"Fight or flight opens the eyes, nose, mouth, throat and lungs, increases pulse and breathing, sharpens senses… this emotional stuff constricts your airways, clouds your vision, gives you nausea… it's stupid," Gray concluded.

"I'll be sure to bring that up at the next Survival of the Fittest meeting."

"Yeah, really. I… I want," Gray started hesitantly.

"It's okay. You can tell me what you want."

"I want to see Dad's grave. You buried him, right?"

For some reason this hadn't occurred to Jack—that Gray would want to see the grave._ Well, of course he does—nothing would be more natural. Why didn't I think of it? _"Yeah, we did."

"I'd just like to… I never got to say goodbye."

"Okay. I'll ask the Doctor about it. Maybe he can take us."

Gray nodded.

"Was there something else? You look like you want to say more."

"I don't have the right to ask anything of you. Especially not this."

Jack released Gray's hand and reached up to touch his shoulder. "You're still my brother. We can work through anything," he said firmly. "It won't hurt just to tell me what it is." He waited again, giving Gray a chance to collect his thoughts.

Finally, Gray said, "I want you to sleep by me. But… I know it's a bad idea."

_Oh._ Another surprise. _A very bad idea. And yet…_ "What did I just say? We can work through anything."

"But Jack…"

"Maybe we could have the Doctor in the same room or even in the same bed. I guess I'll ask him about that, too."

"But with someone else so close, we couldn't talk very freely."

"I don't know; we'll see."

"You don't really want to, do you?"

"I want things to be how they were, or as close as we can get. It'll be hard, but we can do it."

Gray stared at the floor. Jack could hear his breathing. "You could cuff me…"

"No. That's not happening."

"It's what I deserve."

"If we all got what we deserved, none of us would be here." When there was no answer, Jack moved closer still and put his arm around Gray. "We'll figure something out, okay?"

"Okay." Gray leaned his head on Jack's shoulder and whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"I know."

* * *

><p>"It's made of amberell. That's a stone found only in this system," Jenny told the Doctor excitedly, showing him the pendent she had gotten in the town. "The Meddler bought it for me."<p>

_Well, he would have money… leftover from his ill-gotten gains._ "It's very pretty," the Doctor answered.

"I wanted to get something for you, only I don't really know what you like."

"Oh, that's all right." The Doctor smiled and gave Jenny a loose hug. "How were things in town?"

"People are talking about the Reaver hunt… it's very sad. So many families lost someone."

"Are they angry?"

"I'm sure some of them are." Jenny looked a little worried.

"Well, there's nothing that will ease their loss other than time… We'd better keep to ourselves for now."

"Where's River? I got her a bracelet."

"Probably with Dair or Gray."

When Jenny left in search of her friend, the Doctor set out to find the Master.

_No telling where he's got to… only I think I can sense him._ The Doctor turned down a corridor and decided the most likely place along this passage was the library.

Sure enough, the Master was ensconced in a corner of the library, holding a book in front of him and looking a bit glazed over.

"What are you reading?"

"I forget," the Master said absently. He turned the book around. "Oh yes… _The Origin of the Species_. It's amusing how much they got wrong. Can you believe after thousands of years, humans decided to teach tripe like this in their schools?"

"Human nature. When they don't know what really happened, they form their best guess and put their faith in it."

"No wonder they're so easy to hypnotize."

"No wonder they're so hard to subdue," the Doctor countered. "They're always looking for new answers, and they never give up hope."

"Did you want something?"

"Yes, actually." The Doctor crossed the room and sat in an armchair across from the Master. "Dair's been cooped up a long time. It might do him good to get some air."

"And… you want me to make sure he doesn't run off?"

"Yes. Not this moment… probably tomorrow morning."

"All right." The Master stretched. "What time is it?"

"About sunset. How long have you been in here?"

"Since lunch."

"Care for dinner?"

"Not hungry."

The Doctor nodded. The humans liked three square meals each day, but it really was too much for a Timelord. "Is now a good time to talk, then?"

"Good as any." The Master set the book aside.

"I've been thinking of our school days a lot. We've both changed a lot since then, but we could be friends like that again, couldn't we?"

"No… not quite like that. I took advantage of you shamelessly."

"True; but you were also my protector."

"Mm. That bit's all right, I s'pose."

The Doctor hesitated a moment. "About Torvic…"

"No. We can't change what happened, so let's not talk about it."

"I know we can't change it. But I need you to know my thoughts and I need to know yours. It's bothered me for centuries."

The Master leaned on the arm of his chair and stared moodily at the wall. "You won't let this go, will you?"

"I can't."

"Fine. If we must."

* * *

><p><em>Sorry for the cliffhanger. I figured you'd rather get an update now then a crazy-long chapter later. :p And this way I have an easy place to start the next one. ^^ Please remember to review. <em>


	44. Impossible Things

_I didn't mean for this to take up the whole chapter, but... it did. :p  
><em>

_WARNING: MAJOR spoiler alert! If you have never listened to the Big Finish radio adventure .49 entitled "Master," reading this chapter will COMPLETELY spoil it for you! I've taken little things from that production and, with a lot of help from my beta (scene re-writer extraordinaire), expanded them a lot from the details given. I'll put a very sparse summary at the end of the chapter for people who don't want "Master" spoiled for them. I highly recommend the BFA download for about $8.00. Well worth it—creepy and suspenseful, with cool insight into our favorite Timelords' lives. There are also minor spoilers for elements of the early DW episodes. No big deal.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Forty-four: Impossible Things_  
><em>

* * *

><p>The two boys rushed down the riverbank and into the cool water, laughing as they ran. They had escaped another day of lessons.<p>

"Where'll you go first?" Koschei asked, and Theta Sigma didn't have to ask what he meant.

"Andromeda."

Koschei grimaced. "Andromeda? Boring!"

"Why? Where will you go?"

"Somewhere no one's ever been—beyond the outer galaxies. Now, _there's_ excitement."

"Well, yes… bit of danger, too," Sigma replied, smiling a little to keep Koschei from thinking he was afraid.

Koschei waded deeper into the Lethe. "Well, so much the better. Nothing ever happens on Gallifrey. Just boring, official grown-up things. You don't want to end up like them, do you?"

"Course not. But Andromeda's a spiral. I like spirals. And it's near the Milky Way."

"Why are you so bloody obsessed with the Milky Way?"

"I just… like it." Sigma knew better than to mention the species which resided in that galaxy, particularly humans. Most Timelords, particularly Koschei, had a strong bias against them as lower life forms. He looked around for some excuse to change the subject.

Spying some driftwood, Sigma sloshed back to shore. "Let's build a fire."

"All right. I'll catch something for us to cook."

"Just don't get pinched again," Sigma cautioned, remembering a mishap with a small, freshwater crustacean. He gathered a small pile of driftwood and chips and branches left from some larger endeavor of long ago.

Koschei found a few small water creatures to keep captive in an old basket and went back into the water to search for more.

After tossing an armful of fuel on the pile, Sigma looked up and saw someone coming down the riverside toward them. It was a tall, young Timelord with dark hair. As he came closer, Sigma recognized the boy's expression of delight at finding two youngsters on whom to deal out mistreatment.

"Koschei, someone's coming… it's Torvic," Sigma said urgently.

Koschei's head snapped up; he looked to his friend and then followed his gaze. He cursed. "He's alone… maybe we could take him."

"I don't want to fight. Let's run."

Koschei sighed. "All right." He took labored steps through the water, swinging his hips to move his legs more quickly.

"Come on, hurry up," Sigma whined.

But it was then that Koschei slipped on something and fell to the side, thrusting his hand into the waist-deep water to catch himself.

Torvic had quickened his pace now. He knew the two boys had seen him coming and that they would try to escape. Sigma backed away, terrified of the older boy, but loath to leave his friend.

"Come on!"

Koschei had regained his footing, but Torvic reached the bank ahead of him.

"Well, well, two little first-decades playing in a river," Torvic taunted.

Koschei tried to dart past him, but Torvic sprang forward and caught hold of his arm.

"Don't go so soon; I want to play, too!"

Finding his struggles to be useless, Koschei called, "Run for it, Sigma! Go on!"

Ordinarily, Sigma would have followed procedure. He would have retreated a safe distance to wait and then come back to help his friend recover from whatever torment he had endured. Then they would walk home and not talk about the incident. He backed further away, but didn't see any need to run. Torvic didn't have any of his comrades with him, and he didn't seem about to lose his hold on Koschei to pursue Sigma.

Torvic looked back at Sigma with a taunting smile. "What's the matter, Theta Sigma? Not gonna leave your girl friend in the water, are you?" He dragged Koschei a few steps back into the river.

"Go on, you idiot, run!" Koschei shouted.

Sigma stepped hesitantly backward, unwilling to go far.

Satisfied that Sigma was no threat, Torvic turned his attention back to Koschei. "So brave. You like the water, don't you, Koschei? Here, let's go swimming." Three steps further in, and the water was at Torvic's waist and over Koschei's stomach.

Koschei was a good swimmer, Sigma knew, but he doubted that Torvic really intended to let him do any swimming. If he could only wriggle out of that grip and make for the other side…

"Here you go, we'll have you swimming in no time…"

There was a brief struggle; then Koschei was under the water.

Sigma held his breath. _One, two, three, four, five…_

Torvic hauled Koschei back above the surface. "There, you're getting the idea," he laughed as Koschei coughed and gasped.

"Let him go!" Sigma shouted, but he was ignored. _It isn't fair. We haven't done anything._

Before Koschei could properly get his breath back, Torvic plunged him under the surface again. "Here, have another go."

_One, two, three, four, five, six… how long will he keep him under? He'll drown… ten, eleven…_

"You're going to kill him!"

Up he came again, this time choking in earnest. Koschei's red eyes seemed to vaguely recognize Sigma's form. After a great cough and a tiny gasp, he uttered a few strangled syllables: "Sig… Go, Sig…"

And before he could take in any more air, Torvic was holding him under again.

_No! Gods, he's going to drown. He's going to die and I'll be all alone. It's not fair. Why do they do this to us?_ He was scarcely aware that he was halfway back to the water now. _Have to stop him. Can't let him die like this._

There was no plan. No time for one. No way to see one past the white-hot rage boiling in his hearts. Sigma had never been this angry in his short life, and the unfamiliar rush of feelings carried him along with a strange power.

Torvic didn't see him coming. He had dismissed Sigma as an insignificant presence, not worth his notice. It was his last in a rather long string of mistakes.

Sigma pulled Koschei from the river, put his arms around his friend and thrust his clasped hands upwards until the water came pouring from Koschei's mouth and nose.

He coughed for a long time, and each time all the breath was spent, Sigma was sure he wouldn't be able to draw in another. But at last, the gasps became more frequent than the coughs, and Koschei finally sat up.

"Kos!"

"Oi, get off me."

"I thought you were going to die." Sigma didn't let go of his friend, taking advantage of Koschei's weakness.

"Lord, Sigma, what did you do?"

Sigma blinked. He looked around, suddenly remembering that he had, in fact, done something. Torvic was lying face down in the water, just off the riverbank. For a moment, He couldn't comprehend the sight. "I… I hit him…"

"Must have hit him bloody hard." Koschei took a long, wheezy breath and got to his feet.

"…with a rock," Sigma recalled.

"Oh. Hm. Think you knocked him out—he could drown like that. Maybe he has."

_No…_ Sigma felt sick at the thought. He hurried down to the water.

"Hey, careful. What if he regenerates?"

The motionless boy's head was dark with his wet hair and blood that oozed through it, turning the water scarlet before flowing away.

"Torvic?" Sigma said hesitantly. He stooped to touch the half-submerged left arm. When there was no response, he took hold of it and turned the older boy over. He gasped and dropped the arm.

Torvic's face was pale, his eyes wide and staring.

"Koschei…"

Koschei came down into the water and took Torvic's limp wrist. "Let's get him out of the water. Come on, Sig."

Numbly, Sigma did as he was told. They dragged Torvic onto dry land and stood back from him.

"Nothing's happening." Sigma hated the way his voice shook.

"Well, he was out cold. Couldn't get any air, and his head's smashed in. Still… he ought to be able to regenerate… he's in his twenties, isn't he?"

Sigma nodded. They waited a few minutes longer.

"He's not regenerating, Koschei. He's dead. He's really dead. I killed him."

"All right, don't get hysterical on me. You did what you had to do to save my life."

"I didn't have to kill him." There was panic in Sigma's voice now, and his eyes were moist.

"Well, it's not like you sat down and planned out how much force to use and everything—it was just an accident. I really might have drowned. And then I'd be gone and you'd have Torvic left to deal with—that's no good, is it?"

Sigma sniffed. "Well, what do we do? Could we trigger the regeneration ourselves?"

"Don't be stupid—the two of us couldn't manage that."

"Gods, Kos, I'll have to tell his family… he's from Greyloam, isn't he?"

"You'll do no such thing." Koschei turned and took Sigma by the shoulders. "Listen to me, Theta Sigma. If this comes out, they'll try you. They'll look at this as murder. They'll lock you away or force you to regenerate… they might even erase you from history! Then where would I be? What about the stars, Sig? What about Andromeda and your blasted Milky Way? You can't let them stop you now."

"But they'll find out—"

"No, they won't. Not if they don't find any trace of him."

"What do we do with him?"

"The only thing you can do with a dead Timelord… but we'll need more wood," Koschei said, looking at the pile Sigma had gathered.

"We can't! His House has to do that."

"When there are extenuating circumstances and the family can't be reached, you're allowed to take liberties. We'll be his family. Come on, help me gather more wood."

"Kos…"

"Come on!" Koschei barked. "It has to be done before dark, or my father will know I cut class."

Sigma jerked into motion. As they gathered more branches and half-rotted logs they could barely drag, he went over everything in his mind again and again. _I should have run at the beginning. Koschei wouldn't have been wasting his breath on me. Torvic wouldn't have killed him… I'm sure he wasn't meaning to._

The pile of wood grew quickly with their efforts, but Koschei insisted they continue to gather.

"We'll throw more on as it goes, to make sure it stays hot. He can't leave a cinder behind."

"Koschei, your hand is bleeding…"

"Cut it on a rock in the water. It's nothing. Don't talk."

_When did I even pick up that rock? I can't remember what it looked like… Why did I hit him so hard? I never meant to kill him. Why are we doing this? This is so wrong…_

"Go find a flint," Koschei said, kneeling to prepare small tinder.

Sigma cast about by the riverside until he found a large flint stone. _Was it about this size? How did I even do that… I've never really tried to hurt anyone._

"Give. Sigma, hand it over."

Sigma shook his head and dropped the flint into Koschei's hand.

Using his knife to strike the flint, Koschei guided a hot spark into his nest of tinder and blew on it until it smoked and finally flared. Then he scooped up the lot and put the growing little fire deep under the pile of fuel and blew on it some more. Once the fire was steady on its own, Koschei stood.

"Help me move him."

Sigma looked uneasily at Torvic's body. He didn't want to see those eyes again, or the smashed skull.

"We have to do this."

"Wait a moment…" Sigma moved forward quickly and knelt at Torvic's side. He gingerly reached into the older boy's damp pockets, searching each one. There was a small knife, a scrap of paper, a few coins and a pocket watch. He put the paper back in Torvic's breast pocket, but set the other items aside. "These won't burn," he said.

Koschei nodded. "We'll have to get rid of them. The coins will spend easy enough; the others we'll have to get rid of more creatively."

"We can't spend them! That'd make us thieves as well as me a killer."

"You're not a killer, Sigma. Killers make killing their profession. You've killed just once and it was by _accident._ But if you insist, we can get rid of the coins with the other things. We'll dump them in the widest part of the river where it's always deep, even in the dead of summer. Except the watch… that we'd do better to pitch into the schism."

"You can't get near the schism—someone's always guarding it. I'll keep it hidden for now, and we'll find something to do with it later."

"Okay. Come on."

The fire was burning well now. When the two boys maneuvered their burden onto the blaze, they both got smoke in their eyes, so Koschei said nothing about the tears streaming down Sigma's face—his own eyes were also smarting and moist.

They stood back from the fire, going near only to add more logs. They could feel the intense heat on their faces and hands. Their clothes became almost literally boiling hot as the river water grew hot and evaporated. They watched Torvic's clothes steam until they were dry, his hair go up in a flash of acrid smoke, and his skin begin to bubble. They stared because looking away was worse, and because they knew they had to be sure that every atom that had been Torvic was turned to ash.

Sigma rubbed his sweaty fingers over the watch in his pocket. _Horrible… so horrible._ He felt Koschei take his other hand. He didn't look at his friend—couldn't take his eyes off the gruesome sight before him—but he wrapped his fingers around Koschei's hand and held it tightly. Everything seemed to be falling apart. In a moment, Sigma's life had changed so drastically. But Koschei was still there. Still sure of himself. Always the leader.

Hours later, Koschei poked the embers around and stacked the last of the driftwood around the last charred pieces of bone. It was unreal to Sigma to think that this was all that remained of the person who had tormented him and his friend for several years. One could no longer tell by looking that this had even been a sentient form of life. Soon it might not look any different from wood ash.

Then, as the first sun was beginning to set, Koschei scraped the little bits and a pile of ash together with two large pieces of bark, scooped it up and dumped it in the river. He gathered stones and a handful of dirt that had been stained with Torvic's blood and let the Lethe have them, too.

"Now we just need to pitch this lot," Koschei said, picking up the knife and coins. He took Sigma's hand again and they walked down the river to its widest point.

Koschei had the better throwing arm, so Sigma let his friend do the work there. Then they walked on until they came to the road, and down it a ways to a fork where they parted.

"Remember, not a word to anyone," Koschei warned. "We can't even talk about it to each other, once we've figured out what to do with the watch. It's the only way to make sure no one ever knows. It never happened."

"Never happened," Sigma repeated. "How can things never happen?"

"How d'you mean?"

"Well… if they never happened, they're not _things,_ are they?"

"They are, and they're not. Like the toclafane… impossible things."

* * *

><p>Sigma washed his face and hands in the fountain outside the house before going in. <em>Will they know something happened? I wish I hadn't asked to stop boarding at the academy… I wouldn't have to see them for ages. But I couldn't survive there at night without Koschei.<em>

Koschei's patrons had decided to keep him in their Oakdown home to see that he kept out of mischief at night, and their concerns were well-founded.

"Dinner is waiting, Theta Sigma," Sigma's eldest cousin told him when he entered the house.

"I'm sorry I was slow coming home, Father."

"Slow? Or creative in your route?"

"All right, he's here now," the cousin's wife interjected. "Let's not put off our meal any longer with arguing." She called the other Timelords of the household to the table and they ate, mostly in silence.

Sigma didn't notice what he was eating. The fire blazed behind his eyes every time he blinked, Torvic's haze-rippled form taking away all appetite.

"Theta Sigma?"

Sigma looked up. "Yes, Mother?"

"You don't look well."

"I…" At first, Sigma tried to think of a lie. _I was hot, so I drank a lot of river water… No! No one can know I was by the Lethe today._ "I… don't feel so well." He murmured.

"I'll steam some herbs for you."

"You needn't bother…"

"Theta Sigma," the patron said warningly.

"Thank you, Mother," Sigma amended quickly. He didn't want steamed herbs. He didn't want anything. But he forced his jaw to work, forced his throat to swallow. Then he retired to his room to force at least a fraction of his mind to work on his lessons.

He drank the steam his matron brought him and thanked her mechanically. After that he felt somewhat revived, but it was no easier to concentrate on his work. At last, he decided that if he could just get to sleep he might wake to find it had all been a dream. He slipped Torvic's pocket watch under his pillow, determined that when he woke it would have melted away.

* * *

><p>"<em>Sigma. Theta Sigma, my dear."<em>

_Sigma shuddered. "Leave me be."_

"_Oh, what's wrong, my pet? Are you worried for Koschei?"_

"_T… Torvic…"_

"_Oh, you can't be sorry he's gone. He deserved it, didn't he? You know, he might well have killed your friend if you hadn't stepped in."_

"_Leave me alone."_

"_But I can't. You've taken a life. Don't misunderstand—I'm not angry with you. I'm pleased that you show potential. I'd like to make you an offer."_

"_Who are you?"_

_Sigma thought he felt a cool hand caress his hot brow._

"_I am Death."_

"_Death!"_

"_Oh, don't be afraid. I'm not here to take you. To make you an offer, as I said."_

"_What sort of offer?"_

"_I want to take you on as my servant."_

"_Wh—why?"_

"_One can never have too many servants. You'll be mine one day, anyway. The guilt of what you did today will eat away at you until you cannot bear it and you will beg me to take the pain of killing away. To make you my willing servant."_

"_No. Please."_

"_Well, there are others interested in your fate, so I'm willing to let you choose. You may join me now. You may join me later, after guilt has destroyed you. Or… you may defer the honor to your friend. I'll take him instead, and make him my champion."_

"_Koschei? Why would you want him?"_

"_You were my first choice. But I'm sure he will do nicely in your stead. What do you say?"_

Why do I have to choose? Does this happen to everyone who kills?_ "How long? How long would I have to be your servant?"_

"_Until the end of your life. Or until I grow tired of you. Which is often the same thing."_

"_All my life?"_ _Sigma felt a burning in his throat and a pain in his eyes, but no tears formed._ I can't become a killer—someone who makes killing his profession. I can't. _"Take him."_

"_Very well. I will take away the guilt of what you've done. So rest easy, little Timelord."_

* * *

><p>"I was so selfish," the Doctor said, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, eyes on the floor.<p>

"You were afraid. Honestly, presented with the same bargain, I think I would have chosen to be Death's champion anyway—and not to save you. I would have seen it as a means to gain power."

"At that age? What were we, ten? Twelve?"

"You underestimate me." The Master smiled grimly. "You were afraid of her, but I welcomed her."

"And did you see her as I did? Was she a young woman?"

The Master shook his head. "Not on our first meeting. I never heard any actual words from her. She wasn't a person so much as a guiding influence. I never thought of her as a person until after Perfugium. To think… I might never have known the truth of Torvic's death if not for that other bargain you made, later on… and you mightn't have either."

"Might that have been better?"

"I don't know. Guilt is a strange thing. Perhaps even more powerful than love, don't you think?"

* * *

><p>The watch was gone. It had been a dream. No… only the part about bringing the watch home and placing it beneath his pillow. Yes, that was rather silly. But Torvic's death had been real. Sigma remembered his horror at discovering what Koschei had done. Seeing Torvic's unmoving form in the water, hearing Koschei's confession, helping to cover his friend's deed. Koschei had taken the watch home for safekeeping—all the evidence that remained.<p>

That afternoon, Koschei told Sigma of his plan.

"A Time and Relative Dimensions in Space device is nearly as good as the schism… it can take the watch far away and keep it safe where no one will think to look."

"But how would we get it inside one?" Sigma wondered. "People don't just let kids inside their ships for no reason. And they're always locked."

"Only the ones that have been chosen. There are loads of them that haven't been harvested yet. I'll choose a nice young one, hide the watch deep inside, and then when we graduate, one of us will choose it."

"But what if someone else chooses it first?"

"They probably won't find it anyway. And if they do, by that time Torvic's disappearance will be forgotten. He'd never used the watch—it wasn't unique to him. It can be recognized as belonging to a Greyloam, but nothing more. It'll just be a strange thing… a watch dropped into the cultivation by accident and never mentioned for embarrassment."

"An impossible thing."

"If you like."

"All right. I can cut next period and get it done."

Koschei shook his head. "You've helped me enough already. And I'm better at lying than you are, so it's less risk if I'm caught."

"All right. But be sure to let me know which one you put it in."

* * *

><p>Time passed. The boys grew up. They graduated university and became the Doctor and the Master. The chosen Tardis had been claimed by another Timelord, so they left it alone for a while. But the Doctor saw his friend becoming distant and power-hungry. He didn't know the cause, but it seemed that no one could get along with him anymore. Koschei had grown into a person who seemed to live to make trouble.<p>

All the while, the Doctor felt increasingly stifled in the stuffy world that was Gallifrey and its society. He'd married young and enjoyed a few years of family life, but his wife died young, as did his children. It seemed that Death had found a way to enslave Theta Sigma after all, without making him her servant. In despair, the Doctor took his last remaining relation, his granddaughter Susan, as well as the Tardis where Koschei had hidden Torvic's watch so long ago. He finally made his escape—not with a celebrated send-off, as he had planned, but as a thief in the night.

More time went by, and the two friends became even more estranged. Susan went her way to live her life, and the Doctor met and parted from many friends over the years. And then, centuries after her first visit, Death came again…

"_You seem unhappy about the Master. He's been my servant for so long now. You miss your friend, don't you?"_

"_Who are you?"_

"_You don't remember? Or did you not believe me the first time? I am Death. The Master is my champion."_

"_What do you want?"_

"_You feel guilty about the Master, don't you? You feel you should have saved your friend."_

"_I should have done something… kept him from going so wrong. Yes, I do feel guilty."_

"_How would you like to give him a chance to live as he might have lived apart from me? If he had not been my champion?"_

"_How can I do that?"_

"_Just make this bargain with me. For ten years, the Master will live whatever pleasant sort of life you choose for him. He can be at peace."_

"_And in return?"_

"_At the end of the ten years, his life will end—forever."_

"_He'll die? But… ten years is not very long to a Timelord. You must know that."_

"_Ten years of peace and happiness? Or centuries of destruction? Is that not better, Doctor? Better than this life he's been condemned to, from which you could not save him?"_

_It was an impossible choice. The Doctor thought of those long years in which the Master had become so warlike, so power-hungry, so bloodthirsty. And he thought back to the days of their friendship, at school where the universe seemed a bit smaller and safer._

My poor old friend. It isn't fair. Why has this happened to you? She's right, isn't she? Ten years of happiness is better than any length of slavery to Death. I'd want this bargain, if it were me. I'm sure of it.

"_Very well… I'll agree, but I want to know that his death will not be a long and painful one."_

"_You may make certain of that yourself, Doctor. You will be the one to take his life."_

"_What? No, I can't do that!"_

"_That is the bargain."_

"_But… will that make me your servant, then?"_

"_I wonder. You're not a child, Doctor. You have a strong will. I think you know already whether or not you can stand up to me."_

_After a moment, the Doctor answered. "All right. The deal is struck. I want the Master to live his ten years in a quiet village where he will be at peace with the universe. He will save lives instead of taking them, and he will find a sense of belonging in that village."_

"_It will be just as you say, Doctor."_

"_When will the ten years begin?"_

"_When I choose. Good night."_

* * *

><p>"And then you couldn't do it," the Master concluded. "Story of your life."<p>

"But you were so happy and decent and… and…"

"Normal? Yes… I was all those things. Bit pathetic, too."

The Doctor sighed. "You were all the things I'd been hoping you'd become since we were kids. Someone I could speak with as an equal and have a mutual respect for. You really think I could cut that off?"

"So I agreed to go back to being Death's champion by killing my friend of ten years."

"You did it to keep him from killing his wife. And to save me from becoming Death's servant."

"Oh, I did? Do you know my mind better than I do? Tell me, did you cross paths with her again?"

"I did. A few times. She always wanted something of me. But I think perhaps she got enough of me, because we haven't met for a very long time."

"Well, I never saw her in any physical form after that night in Perfugium. Was rarely even mindful of her presence."

"It's odd, that she was such a strong, physical-seeming entity to me, and such a trivial idea to you."

"Perhaps you fear death more than I do."

"Or perhaps I feel the guilt of killing more strongly."

The Master nodded. "That's certain. Even when we both thought it was I that killed Torvic, you still felt more guilty than I did.

"So, you did take that same Tardis after all, eh? Did you ever run across the watch again?"

"No. You were quite right—either it's remained safely hidden, or the previous owner thought nothing of it when he found it."

The silence grew between them until the Master could hear the Doctor's breathing, as well as his own. "I stand by what I said all those years ago… you're no killer."

"Thank you. But I'm afraid it's not that simple."

"I don't blame you for any of what happened. Children don't understand how far-reaching consequences can be. And as for the second bargain, you did it because you…" the Master caught himself and began again quickly enough that he hoped the Doctor wouldn't notice. "Because you were my friend. Yes, you felt a deep guilt that you didn't understand, but you genuinely wanted to see me content. Happy, with friends who were glad for knowing me. I despised my John Smith persona when I came out of it, but now… I can say what I knew then: He was a better man than I."

"But he _was_ you; another side of you. And he proved that you have the capacity to love."

"Perhaps, but does that capacity exist only when I'm stifled and unaware of myself, one heart comatose and the other clueless? When I've no recollection of who I am—of what I am?"

"That may have been true at one time, but I don't think it is, now."

"Of course not… you want to believe everyone's good, deep down."

"It's not that, though…" the Doctor got up and paced to the other side of the library. "I think we all have it in us to do good things or wicked things… I'm not convinced a person is born good or evil, and I definitely believe that he can change. It's all in the choices you make—and your reasons for making them."

"Motive."

"Yes, to a point."

"Doctor… what should I _do?"_

The Doctor came back across the room and knelt by the Master's chair. "Know your priorities. What is it you cannot do without? What would you hate losing more than anything?"

"I wouldn't tell you if I had a weakness." _What I can't lose… what defines me. The thing that brings me back to myself when I don't know where to start._

"Okay, I don't mean it like that… but you don't need to tell me. You should also see if you can work out what you want more than anything. What would make you happiest? Is it still power and control? Or are there people that mean more to you now, or something else?"

_What do I want?_ The more the Master thought about his answer, the less he liked the question. "I don't know," he said, looking away.

"Take your time. Take a few days, if you need it. And you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I just want to help."

"Of course…" the Master stopped himself from finishing the sentence and saved it from sounding sarcastic. He stared into the Doctor's hazel eyes, flecks of blue in brown. "Sigma?"

"Yes," the Doctor prompted after keeping silent a moment.

"I…" the Master lifted his hand slowly and rested it on the Doctor's on the arm of the chair. "I don't want to kill anyone anymore. But I'm afraid… I'm afraid I shan't be able to stop myself if the opportunity comes."

"One step at a time, my friend. I'll help you. You know I will."

"You'll stay near me?"

"Yes." The Doctor stood and held out his hand to the Master. "Come here."

The Master took the hand offered to him and stood, unsurprised to have a hug thrust upon him. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to repeat it to anyone?"

"Yes, of course."

"I'm afraid, Doctor." It wasn't something he admitted often, but it was something of a relief to get it out, so he went on. "I'm afraid that in leaving part of myself behind, attempting to reach some sort of betterment, I will fall short and lose myself entirely. I'll be no one. My past lost to me, and the future empty. I'll go completely mad."

"You won't," the Doctor said firmly. "If nothing else, you've got Koschei to fall back on. Before the broken promises, before the killing. A selfish and proud boy, to be sure, but not evil. I shall never believe that. My oldest friend."

The Master recalled the Doctor's words on that night so long ago, when Death had stood before him in physical form and made him the dreadful offer. _"I can't think of anyone else I would rather be friends with than you."_

"Do you still play the spoons?" he asked suddenly.

The Doctor burst into laughter. "Lord, I haven't even thought of it in decades." He stood back from the Master and smiled. "Come on—let's have some tea and relax or we shan't either of us sleep a wink tonight."

"Okay. You can try the spoons after." The Master followed the Doctor out of the library.

_You define me, Doctor. The other side of my coin. Call me a cheater, but I want to see that coin double-headed._

* * *

><p><em>There you have the history of how the Master became evil :p Sort of. Sorry if it was TMI. Please leave a review.<br>_

_Summary, for spoiler-haters: When the Doctor and Master were young, one of them killed a bully to save the other's life. The Doctor believed it was this incident, and the covering of it, that led to the Master becoming evil—yet later circumstances which came from that first incident also caused him to see that the Master had the potential to love. Plot note for this story: the bully's pocket watch was hidden in the Tardis; the Doctor hasn't seen it since. This is my own invention, not BBC's or BFA's.  
><em>


	45. Mourning

_Thanks for your comments. Keep em coming. xD No major adult content here. No major spoilers.  
><em>

_* Used -~- for Jack's former last name, since we don't know what it is._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Forty-five: Mourning

* * *

><p>"It's strange," Jack told the Doctor as they got into bed that night, "but earlier I heard something that sounded like someone playing the spoons."<p>

"Must have imagined it," the Doctor said dismissively. "Of course, the Tardis is old and full of odd sounds."

"Hm."

"Okay if I get a bit intrusive tonight?"

"Intrusive?"

"Step things up—see whether any anxiety crops up."

"Oh, right. Um, sure."

The Doctor smiled reassuringly at Jack. "I know you know it's me and that I'm not about to hurt you or anything, but if it's too uncomfortable—"

"I just say something and you'll stop," Jack finished for him. "I know. And if I lose it, you stop me."

"Agreed." The Doctor leaned down and kissed Jack's cheek. "Ready for lights out?"

"Yup."

The Doctor sonic-ed the lights off and lay on his side next to his friend. _Beginning is the biggest step of any journey,_ he told himself. He put his arm over Jack and ran his hand lightly up to his shoulder, then down again.

Jack stayed still and his breathing didn't change noticeably, so the Doctor let his hand wander slowly down over Jack's chest. This time he became much more aware of Jack's breath—a little faster, a little louder.

"Okay so far?"

"Yes."

"All right." The hand continued its slow exploration.

"By the way, I meant to ask you about something."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… Gray wants to see my dad's grave."

The Doctor felt Jack tense slightly when the former's fingers moved over his nipple. "Mm. That's understandable. All right now?"

"Mm-hm. I wondered if you could possibly take us in the Tardis. We should go shortly after it happened. I don't think the Time Agency would think it a likely time for me to show up." Jack's speech was beginning to be affected by his rapid breathing now.

The Doctor paused, his hand resting over Jack's original heart. "Do you think they'll be guarding it?"

"I wouldn't put it past them. They probably want me back as much as I want my memories back. They'll be waiting for me with traps all through my time stream." His voice had grown calmer again.

"We can certainly give it a try. It would be good for Gray to have some closure." The Doctor caressed Jack's neck then, crept up over his jaw and traced his mouth.

"That's what I thought, too. My dad wanted me to keep him safe… I didn't, but at least I can bring him home one more time, right?"

The Doctor used the hand resting on Jack's face as a guide in the darkness and found Jack's mouth with his own. "Right. Sometimes it's still the right thing to do the right thing, even when the deadline has passed. You're a bit tense. Are you all right?"

Jack made another wordless sound of affirmation.

"This isn't working, is it?"

Jack gave a long, regretful sigh. "No. I'm afraid it's not."

"You trust me too much."

"To be honest, I'm just getting turned on. You just don't scare me at all."

"Supposing I actually _tried_ to scare you?"

"Uh…"

"Oh, don't laugh. I'm serious. Would that be all right?"

"I'll try anything once."

"Yes, that's very you." The Doctor leaned down again and unceremoniously probed Jack's mouth with his tongue.

Jack jerked away with a slight gasp. Then he laughed nervously. "Okay, you caught me by surprise there."

"That was my intention. Any anxiety?"

"Maybe a little. You should try again."

"Are you having me on?"

"Yes, please."

"Jack, stop it."

"Sorry."

The Doctor pulled Jack's wrist up above his head and kissed his neck. He heard Jack's breathing falter and then quicken. "All right?"

"Yeah… yeah, I'm okay." Jack's tone was still fairly calm.

The Doctor found Jack's other wrist and tugged it upward, too. Then, lying half on top of him, he moved his lips over Jack's face and licked his ear. This time, Jack struggled. The Doctor released him.

"Too much?"

"No—not really. It's just… being pinned down."

"Well then, that's what we've got to work on, don't you think?"

"I guess so."

"Maybe we should leave off for the night, though—trying things too quickly will do more harm than good. Tell you what, though…" the Doctor shifted slightly so his upper half covered Jack's, and he rested his head on Jack's shoulder, against his neck. "Think you could sleep like this?"

"Yeah. For a while, anyway."

"Can you breathe all right?"

"For now. I'll roll you off if I have to."

"Okay." The Doctor kissed his friend's neck. "Good night, Jack."

Jack slid his hands up to encircle the Doctor in his arms. "Good night."

* * *

><p>"I've explained it to her and she's willing to try, if you think it's okay," Simon told the Doctor the next morning.<p>

The Doctor looked at River. "The only reason I'm hesitant is because it's your brain," he said. "I've seen nanogenes regrow body parts and reconstruct damaged brains, but growing a new brain part… well, I'm just not one hundred percent certain it won't alter your personality or something. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

River nodded. "It's a risk."

"Yes, a big risk."

River looked at Simon, not turning her head, but rolling her eyes far to the side. The corner of her mouth twitched. "You'd really miss this personality, wouldn't you?"

Simon laughed. "Yeah, probably. But whatever you turn into, you'll still be my sister."

"And I'm not sure, but it might do something to that telepathic ability of yours," the Doctor added.

"I'm ready," River said.

"Now? Okay, then. I'll get the nanogenes and let them check out Simon's brain first, to be certain they know what it's meant to be like."

River squirmed and Simon laughed.

"Don't worry; they won't drop your IQ to my level."

"Better not."

When the Doctor returned, John, Gray and the Master had joined River and Simon in the little infirmary.

"Oh, this reminds me of practical exams with Doctor Lister," the Doctor said, looking around the room.

"Doctor who?" asked the Master.

"Doctor Joseph Lister, right?" said Gray.

John gaped at Gray. "How do you know what the hell he's talking about?"

Gray shrugged. "I read the encyclopedias in the Doctor's library."

"All of them?" asked the Master.

"I think so. Unless I missed one."

The Master assumed an expression of new respect for the young human.

River watched closely while the nanogenes swarmed around her brother's head.

"Hey, who's the funny man?" John said in a high mocking voice, "There's nothing in here! Come on, nanobots, let's go home!"

"There has to be _something_ in there," River said, as if taking John's comments seriously. "Something's controlling his motor functions and recognition and understanding of basic speech, and—"

"Thanks, River," Simon cut in. "I think it's safe to assume I have _some kind_ of brain."

The Doctor smiled and guided the nanogenes to River's head with a gentle wave of his hands.

"Can they regrow anything?" Gray asked.

"That's the theory," the Doctor answered. "And this is the test."

The room became quiet. Only the soft, staticy sound of the nanogenes working could be heard. River's eyes widened and a smile grew slowly on her face.

"I can feel them…"

"Shh," Simon told her. He took her hand and waited until the glowing specks returned to the canister in the Doctor's hands. "River?"

River looked around, from one face to the next. "I don't feel any different," she said. "Do I look different?"

"You sound a little different," Gray commented.

Simon turned River's face toward himself. "Meme, listen: What is the first law of thermodynamics?"

River frowned and slid off her stool. "Ask me a hard one."

Simon glanced up at the Doctor, who smiled at him.

"River," said the Doctor, "can you hear my thoughts?"

"You're happy that the experiment seems to have been a success. And you're hoping the others will give you a bit more of the respect you deserve now…"

"All right, that's enough," the Doctor said, not quickly enough.

The Master laughed.

Gray took River's hand. Their eyes met and River's smile returned. She hugged him firmly. "Thank you so much."

"I didn't do anything."

River turned to the Doctor and hugged him, too. "Thank you, Doctor. I think I should take Dair outside now."

"River," Simon protested, "wait a minute. I have a lot of tests for us to go through…"

"Later," River said firmly. She kissed her brother's cheek and strode from the room.

The others looked at each other.

"I'm not getting in her way," John declared.

* * *

><p>"So," the Master said to the Doctor when he was done programming Dair's subconscious, "if Jack will agree, I'd like to sleep by him. Tonight, if he's ready. No pressure… just want to talk to him. But I thought if you were there, he'd be all right."<p>

The Doctor watched Dair and River walk across the rough ground with Simon trailing after them. "That might be a bit of a problem. You see, this morning Jack asked me if I could do the same for him and Gray."

"Gray? Oh, really. Just peachy. Well, I've been waiting for this longer than he has, so he can jolly well let me go first."

"I'm not sure I like either of you sleeping by him right now. I don't think he's ready, and you've both done him harm in the past…"

"In the past!" the Master repeated. "You know I've turned a new leaf."

"For that matter, so has Gray."

"Yes. I think so, too. But which of us hurt Jack more recently? Which is he more likely to do better with?"

"I don't know. But in the meantime, I'm taking Jack and Gray to the Boeshane Peninsula. The rest of you should pop over to the _Serenity_ while we're gone. Mal and the crew have been wanting to see us."

"What are you going to Boeshane for?"

The Doctor looked around, not caring to let anyone else here. "To let the brothers see their father's grave."

"What for?"

"Well… burial is important to humans," the Doctor explained, trying to be patient. "Seeing the grave helps them to comprehend their loss. Move on without forgetting."

"So… during this trip, Jack and Gray are likely to have some of that 'brother bonding' business."

"If we're lucky."

"So, Jack's more likely to be willing to sleep by Gray than me."

"Probably."

The Master sighed. "When he was kidnapped I knew we'd get him back, but this…"

"You miss him a lot, don't you?"

"Yes. It's not fair."

"No. I'm sorry, it isn't." The Doctor slipped his arm through the Master's.

After looking around in something near panic, the Master relaxed. "If that Simon looks back our way, let go of me," he instructed firmly.

The Doctor laughed. "Whatever you say, Koschei."

* * *

><p>The Doctor waved at the others from the Tardis door. "We'll join you at the <em>Serenity<em> once we get back," he said.

Mal nodded and closed the shuttle doors.

"I hope the Master behaves himself," Jack commented.

"Oh, he should. He'll be sullen and antisocial, but I don't think he'll make trouble. I'm more worried about Dair. Here, help me set coordinates."

Gray sat on the cushioned passenger seat, not paying much attention to the conversation.

Jack went to the console to assist the Doctor. "Dair should be okay with River there to watch him. Mal couldn't believe he was the same person."

"I know," the Doctor laughed. "And how about River? He was gawking at her, too."

"I think Simon's gotten over being hostile to Gray, now that River's treating Dair the same way. But Dair had better watch out."

"What year are we going to?"

"Fifty eighty-three. Late in the year. That will put us a few weeks after it happened."

Gray pulled his feet up onto the seat and put his arms around his knees.

The Doctor glanced at him. "When we get there," he said, "do you want to go to the grave alone?"

"I'd prefer that."

"Okay." He set the time carefully and allowed Jack to adjust the geographical settings.

For once, the Tardis landed right on target. The Doctor checked the scanner.

"That's it," Jack confirmed. "We buried him on the hillside where he could… see the house."

He finished quietly, as if he hadn't meant to finish the sentence at all. The Doctor suspected that the thought had sprung up of its own accord, something from Jack's childhood that he had forgotten until now.

"Take as long as you need," the Doctor told Gray while setting the chameleon circuit on 50's police box. "It's just after sundown, so no one is likely to come up here."

Gray nodded and left the Tardis silently.

He walked slowly down toward the grave, trying to comprehend its existence. _No one was ever buried here. This was part of our property… private land. You can see out across the bay and our house on the point. And Jack and Mom and Dad should be in that house waiting for me. I want to go home._

He stopped a couple of feet from the grave and stared at it.

_Franklin -~-*_

_Loving father_

_Faithful husband_

_Our protector_

_5044-5083_

_Franklin. Father. Husband. Protector. Where is he?_ Tears sprang up in Gray's eyes and he sank to his knees by the tombstone. _Where's my dad? He can't be here. It doesn't say "Dad." Where is he?_ The chiseled words became blurry in front of his eyes.

"Dad. Oh, god… Dad, please come back. Please. We need you." He let himself fall forward onto the ground and grasped at the sparse grass coming up under the dead flowers. "I need you. I'm so sorry. It wasn't Jack's fault. I hurt him. I killed him. God, I killed my own brother. I did such terrible things, Dad. You would be so ashamed of me. I'm so sorry."

* * *

><p>Jack watched Gray's shadowy form huddled on the ground. "How long has he been out there?"<p>

The Doctor checked one of his instruments. "About two hours. Did he fall asleep?"

"No… he's still moving around a little."

"Does it get cold around here at night?"

"Sometimes. But it's overcast tonight, so he should be fine."

"Long as it doesn't rain."

"It won't. It hardly ever rains here, and this year I remember was particularly dry. The settlement drinks water purified from the bay."

When it was completely dark outside, the Doctor set the scanner on night vision. Then they waited again.

"Doctor… it's been four hours. Do you think we should leave him alone so long?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I don't know. You sure it's not cold out there? He's shaking."

"I'm sure." Jack stared grimly at the scanner. "Can't we help him?" he said at last. "Isn't there something we can do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Stop him from being kidnapped. We could go now…"

"Jack, you're not thinking." The Doctor sighed wearily and put an arm around his friend. "If Gray hadn't been taken, would you have become a time agent?"

Jack hesitated, thinking it over carefully. "No, probably not," he said at last. "I figured I'd stay in show business."

"And if you weren't a time agent, you wouldn't have met me. And if you didn't meet me…"

"No Tardis to take back and save Gray."

"Exactly."

"It's the same reason I didn't use my vortex manipulator to go back," he remembered. "But I wanted to so badly. Just knowing that I could… even if it meant creating a paradox, I just wanted to see him again. To make him safe."

"I know." The Doctor pulled Jack against himself and stroked his hair. "I'm sorry, Jack. There are just so many uncertainties with time travel. If I change one little thing, some of my dear friends might just disappear, as if they'd never been. If we didn't come to this planet, I might never have seen Jenny again. And I wouldn't have met River and Simon and the others…"

"About those two," Jack interjected. "You knew their grandmother, right?"

The Doctor leaned on the console, frowning in thought. "Yes, I met her once. And I'm going to again. But I don't know when or how."

"What do you know about her?"

"That she will be… someone I trust with my life. Someone very dear to me." He turned to look at the scanner again. "Jack, I think you'd better go and fetch him."

"Okay." Jack pulled on his coat and stepped outside.

_5083. Boeshane Peninsula._ He took in a deep breath and was hit with a wave of memories as he breathed in a dozen subtle, familiar scents. _Home. The year Dad died._

He walked down toward the grave, keeping his steps quiet so he wouldn't disturb Gray. But when he got close, he spoke to avoid startling him.

"Gray, it will be morning soon. It's starting to get light."

Gray sat up a little and became motionless again.

Jack knelt beside him and put his arm around him. "Come on, buddy. Come inside."

"Jack…" Gray shuddered against Jack's side. His voice sounded half choked. "I'm so sorry."

"I know. Me, too."

"What happened to him? Why can't he be here?"

"I don't know… by the time I got back to the house, he was already dead." Jack rested his head on top of Gray's. "I'd give anything to fix this for you, but I can't. I'm sorry. Come back to the Tardis now, okay?"

Gray reached out and traced his father's name on the headstone. "I told him what happened." He swallowed. "Goodbye, Dad. I'm sorry."

Jack helped Gray to stand and watched him stumble back toward the Tardis. Then he turned back toward the grave. Hundreds of years had passed since he had seen it. It was slightly different from his memory which had blurred over the centuries. But seeing it still revived some of the anguish of the day his father was buried.

_We stood by the grave for a long time. When we got too hot and tired we sat on the ground and cried together. Dad was dead, but Gray was just gone. That was worse._

"I don't know if it matters what I say to you now," Jack addressed the tombstone. He knelt again. "But just in case it does… I want you to know I've been paying for my mistakes. I turned into a pretty selfish person, but the Doctor changed me. And even though I'm not the one who found Gray, we're back together now, like we should have been. And I swear I'll never lose him again. I'll die for him as many times as necessary to keep him safe. So if you're still aware of any of this… you don't have to worry about us. We're going to be okay. And… I'm so sorry."

He stood and wiped tears away with the back of one hand. "I love you."

He was about to turn away when he saw someone walking slowly up the hill. It looked like a boy. Suddenly, Jack was assaulted with severe déjà vu. He rubbed his eyes.

_I remember this. Oh, damn it, that's me!_

The boy increased his pace and Jack turned away, opening his VM as he went.

"Doctor, shield the Tardis now!"

A moment later, the Tardis vanished in front of him. Jack glanced over his shoulder. He doubted that his younger self had seen the blue box before it disappeared.

"Jack?" the Doctor's voice crackled over the com. "What's wrong?"

But then Jack put his hands out and found the Tardis door. He pushed inside, closed the door behind him and ran to the scanner.

"He saw me."

"Who did?"

Gray joined Jack in front of the scanner. "God, that's you. It's really you."

"What happened?" the Doctor asked anxiously. "Think! What happened when you saw yourself as a boy?"

"Um…" Jack racked his brain, feeling slightly dizzy as his memories rearranged themselves to accommodate two versions of the incident. "Nothing… I didn't know who it was. I couldn't figure out where he went, so I looked a little. But I was kind of scared. I didn't know who would be coming onto our property, and I was so scared the raiding party would come back. But if it had anything to do with Gray, I had to find out…"

The young Jack outside was peering around at the empty space where he had last seen the stranger.

"…or if it was a friend of my Dad's, I wanted to meet him. But I never saw him again. I just heard a strange sound…"

The Doctor threw the dematerialization switch and the Tardis produced its usual whooshing sound.

Young Jack looked around warily. He ran forward a few steps and stopped, just ten feet from the departing Tardis. Then the scanner went blank.

* * *

><p>Jack stayed on the hillside a bit longer, searching for the mysterious figure in the long coat. But whoever it was, they were definitely long gone. Not a trace.<p>

With a sigh, he walked back down to the grave.

"These are old," he said, pulling the dead flowers away. "Sorry. I'll get some more. I won't be able to come every day pretty soon, though. My agent got me a contract with the Time Agency to do some ads for them. Like a real contract. A whole year. We won't have to worry about money for a while. We're probably going to move off-planet. So we'll be safer, but I won't get to see you much."

Jack turned the flowers over in his hands. "Maybe I'll get some artificial ones so they'll last while we're gone." The brittle leaves went out of focus as Jack's eyes filled with tears. "I'm not giving up on Gray. When I have more money I can make a better search. Hire people to help me. I'll come back and start over. Search everything. Ask everyone. I'll find him, I promise. I promise, Dad." The tears ran down his face. "I'll never give up."

* * *

><p>A quiet party was waiting for them on the <em>Serenity.<em> Kaylee was particularly glad to see the Doctor again and everyone welcomed the newcomers.

As soon as he could get the Doctor away from the others, the Master pulled him aside.

"How did it go?" the Master asked.

"Gray hasn't said much. He spent a long time by the grave. We've all got time lag now… exhausted. Feels like bedtime, not mid afternoon."

"How are they getting on?"

"Better." The Doctor glanced across the room at the brothers and they saw Gray slip his hand into Jack's. "Much better. In fact… I'm not sure supervising them is really necessary."

The Master nodded. "Probably not. I'm not so jealous now. I just wish… I miss him."

"I know."

"Wash has been a big baby the last couple days," Mal's exuberant voice rose above the others'. "Pretending he's so horribly injured so Zoe will play nurse to him."

"Have not!" Wash exclaimed.

"_SERENITY! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. CAPTAIN REYNOLDS, COME OUT AND WE'LL TELL YOU OUR DEMANDS."_

For a moment, no one moved. The Master's eyes landed on Inara's face, her smile fading slowly as if time was moving at a fraction of its normal rate. Then her eyes looked to Mal.

"What the hell?" said Mal.

Wash moved first. "I'll take a look," he said, heading for the cockpit.

River took Dair's hand and closed her eyes.

Wash's voice came over the intercom. "Looks like half the city out there, cap. They're armed. What should we do?"

"Find out what they want?" the Doctor suggested.

"More Browncoat haters?" said Zoe.

"Oh, I doubt it," said the Doctor. "If they were going to do anything about that in force, they would have after that little incident when we first got here."

"I paid off the mercenaries who came with us," said John. "So it better not be about money."

"I don't recognize any of them," said Wash.

Mal turned toward the main door. "Guess I better see what it is they want." He checked his gun and tucked it out of sight.

"I'd advise you to leave that behind," the Doctor called after him, but Mal paid no attention.

Dair crouched on the floor, pulling River down beside him. "They're coming back," he said.

"No," River told him. She put her hands on either side of Dair's head and stroked his temple. "It's not them. They'll never come back."

They waited in almost complete silence, some on the floor, some in chairs, others standing. Jayne had just begun pacing when Mal reentered the ship.

Mal came in slowly, turning his gun over slowly as if deep in thought. "It's… really too bad," he said.

"What did they say?" the Doctor prompted.

Mal brought his gun up and trained it on John. "They said they want Captain Hart here, or they're going to take my ship apart piece by piece until they find him."

"Hey now," John said quickly, putting his hands up, "I didn't do anything… what do they want me for?"

"There's a lot of folk in that town lost loved ones on your expedition. They're a bit beyond upset over it. They reckon someone's gotta pay for it, so they're going to string you up."

"What?"

"They can't do that," said Gray.

"Of course they can't!" John agreed. "Jack, tell him."

"You're just going to hand him over?" asked Jack.

"If you have any better ideas to protect my ship and crew, I'm all ears," Mal answered. "But that crowd isn't giving me much time."

"Can we get to the Tardis?" asked the Doctor.

"Negative. They're between us and it. And they're watching her pretty close. Must have seen you arrive."

"Maybe they have us outnumbered," said Jack, "but they're not militia. They don't have the experience that we do. So, we stand and fight."

"Just one problem with that plan. They're holding April hostage."

"April?" asked Kaylee.

"A woman who was along with us on the mission," Mal told her. "They said they're not planning to hurt her, but they're not letting her go until we give them Hart."

"Tough luck for April?" John said with a halfhearted shrug.

"John," Jack scolded.

"Where does April live?" asked River.

"She said something about the southern district," Zoe said. "I don't know where, though."

"We'll find her." River took Dair's hand and tugged until he stood.

"Wait a minute," said Simon. "Where do you think you're going?"

"You distract them and Dair and I will go out the maintenance hatch. We'll find April and bring her here. No bargaining chip."

"No way."

"It's a good plan," said the Doctor. "We just need to stall them a bit."

"I think I can do that," said Jack.

"Good. I'll go with River. I know what April looks like."

"I'll go, too," Simon said quickly.

The Doctor shook his head. "No, you'd better stay here. If someone gets hurt, you need to be where you'll do the most good. I'll look after her."

Simon sighed reluctantly, but he made no further protest.

River led Dair and the Doctor away.

"Okay," said Jack in a purposeful tone, "Mal, put that gun away. John, hand over your coat."

"What for?" John asked.

"Most of the townsfolk didn't see you up close. Maybe I can fool them into thinking I'm you."

"What good will that do?"

"We're playing for time. I can't die."

"Oh, Jack… they'll hang you."

Jack shrugged. "Maybe. Don't think I've tried that one yet."

"They're not vintages," John snapped.

"Coat."

"It doesn't fit you."

"I'll wear it open. It's worked before."

"Jack," Gray said, seeming to suddenly find his voice. "Don't go out there. Please." He and John moved forward to take Jack's arms as if they had planned it together.

"Come on, guys… I'll be okay."

"I can't let you do this for me," said John.

"TIME'S UP, REYNOLDS. SEND HIM OUT NOW!"

"Give me the damn coat, John."

_Lord, they're going to just stand there and argue until the townspeople start shooting,_ the Master thought.

Jack leaned forward suddenly and kissed John. "Give me the coat."

The Master stepped forward quickly and peeled the coat off John before he could protest.

"Jack…" John whined.

"Shut up. It's okay." Jack turned to hug Gray. "I'll be okay." He shrugged out of his own coat and took John's from the Master.

Dismally, John took off his belt and gave it to Jack. "Sword would make it more convincing, but I left that in the Tardis. Guns will have to do."

"I'll just be dropping them on the ground anyway."

"I'll collect them," Mal offered. "Now come on—let's get this farce underway."

The Master followed Mal and Jack to the _Serenity's_ airlock.

"Don't let them kill you too hard, Jack."

Jack looked back at the Master. "If there's fighting," he started.

"I'll protect Gray. I promise."

"Thank you."

Mal gripped Jack by his borrowed collar and dragged him out of the ship at gunpoint.

The Master retreated back toward the kitchen where the others were convened. _You'd just better hurry, Doctor._

* * *

><p><em>Cliff-hanger! *is evil* Hope you enjoyed.<br>_


	46. See You In Hell

_Here you go-enjoy. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Forty-six: See You In Hell

* * *

><p>River led the way, crawling quickly over the <em>Serenity's<em> hull. Dair followed her and the Doctor brought up the rear. They waited until the loud, demanding voice called out again before dropping to the ground, knowing they wouldn't be heard.

"Let's get down the bank back there and skirt wide round the ship," the Doctor told the others quietly. "Then we'll head south."

River nodded and they continued on. Once out of sight of the crowd around the _Serenity,_ the three of them ran more freely, not worried about being spotted.

The town seemed deserted. No one was on the street, and the shops were all closed.

"This way," said River, pulling Dair down a side street.

"How do you know?" asked the Doctor, not questioning her judgment, but genuinely curious.

"There are more people this way. Most of them are at the _Serenity_ or hiding in their homes, but there's a group of them this way."

_ESP,_ the Doctor decided. He kept an eye out for strangers, but they met no one.

River finally slowed in a residential area. "That one," she said, pointing over a blue-flowered hedge. "The third house."

The Doctor could see a few people standing around outside a dull blue building. "You're sure she's inside?"

"Who else would they be guarding?"

"Right." He licked his lips. "Okay, I'll create a distraction, and you and Dair go round the back and fetch her out."

River pulled at the Doctor's coat and he obligingly shrugged out of it. Then she ran her fingers through his hair, frowning in concentration.

"It never lies flat," he informed her. "Not unless I use a bucket of gel."

She sighed. "Oh, well. We don't need much time. We don't have much." She took Dair's hand and led him back behind the row of houses.

The Doctor set out purposefully toward the men standing around in front of the house, fishing for his psychic paper as he went.

Once they spotted him, the men all leveled guns at the Doctor.

_Typical,_ the Doctor thought. He strode forward. "What's the meaning of this?" he demanded. "I come into this town and find it deserted—not a soul about, no one answering their doors—and now you lot point guns at me!"

"Who the hell are you?" someone asked.

The Doctor held out his psychic paper. "Doctor Smith, city examiner for the Alliance. Have you a warrant for assembly? Who are you fighting? Or guarding against?"

After an awkward silence, one of the men spoke up. "Our neighbor had threats made against her, so we came over to protect her."

"Is that right?"

There was a stifled shout from inside the house, a crash, and then a gunshot.

The Doctor quirked an eyebrow. "Not doing an exemplary job of it, are you?"

"Come on," the spokesman cried. He led the way into the house while the Doctor slipped off unnoticed.

The Doctor retrieved his coat and was jogging along the hedge, looking anxiously for the others, when he saw River burst into view ahead of him. Dair and April appeared just behind her. He lengthened his stride and soon caught up to them, taking April's hand to steady her. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah," April answered. "Glad to see you. Is Captain Hart safe?"

"Far as I know, but the sooner we get you back to the _Serenity_, the better. River…"

"No one was badly hurt," River said, anticipating the Doctor's question. She flashed him a smile over her shoulder. "Love the running."

_Déjà vu… makes me dizzy._ He smiled back at her. "Oh yes… love the running!"

* * *

><p>"Okay, here he is," Mal told the crowd standing around the <em>Serenity<em>. "Now, how do I know you'll let April go?"

"Like I told you," the burly leader of the lynch mob said, "we got nothing against her. No reason to keep her once we got what we want. Disarm him and hand him over."

Mal looked at Jack. Neither of them knew how to stall for more time.

Jack slowly unbuckled John's gun belt and dropped it to the ground. "See you in hell," he told Mal. He walked forward until the mob seized him.

They dragged him off toward the nearest sturdy tree, some hundred yards away. He caught a glimpse of Mal picking up the gun belt. He felt his wrists being bound tightly behind him.

"Cat got your tongue?" someone demanded.

"Yeah, why don't you say anything?"

Jack looked around at the angry faces. "You want some last words from me?"

"What have you got to say for yourself?"

"I do have something to say if you'll listen."

"Beg for your life."

"That's something I never do. But I will ask you to think about something."

The crowd quieted somewhat as the people tried to hear what he said.

"When I came to this town, a meeting was held," Jack said clearly. "The dangers of the mission were explained. No one was deceived into thinking it would be a safe trip with no casualties. Everyone who went on that mission signed a paper saying they understood the risk involved."

"Risk? You sent them to certain death!"

"Of course there were more losses than we anticipated," Jack went on, "but that doesn't change the premise under which your loved ones signed on. You've been compensated for the service they gave, and I couldn't be sorrier for your losses. This won't bring them back. It won't make anything better. And on top of that, you're making a terrible mistake here."

"Mistake," someone scoffed. "String him up, already."

Someone brought a horse forward and Jack found himself lifted up and planted in the saddle.

_A proper old West hanging,_ he thought with grim amusement as they led the horse around under the tree. Then a noose was tightened around his neck and the people stood back from the horse.

_It's been a long time since I was on a horse. Too bad it had to be like this…_

"If you wanna say a prayer, this is your last chance."

Jack scanned the faces again. He knew they all wanted to hear something pitiful—a plea for mercy which they could deny, some sign that he was evil or even just weak—a sign that they were doing the right thing.

"You're going to realize this is a mistake. But I forgive you."

The mob became noisy again as it reacted to his strange and unsatisfactory statements. The horse shifted its feet restlessly, and then someone slapped its hindquarters.

The last thing he saw as his weight choked off his windpipe was four figures in the distance, quickly making their way to the back of the _Serenity_, unnoticed by the crowd; his last thought: _They're safe._

* * *

><p>The first breath was more agonizing than usual, because Jack found himself face-down in the dirt. His hands were still tied, but the noose was gone from his neck. The common sounds of shock and fear started around him as people began telling him what he already knew.<p>

"You know," he rasped, "the whole 'you were dead' thing is just as monotonous as the 'it's bigger on the inside' thing."

"He was just unconscious," someone concluded.

"No—he was dead! He was! He hung there a good ten minutes after he quit kicking!"

Jack struggled to sit up. "I think I can settle this. Yes, I was dead. Now I'm not though. So, since you've had the satisfaction of lynching me, may I go back to my friends?"

"It's some damn trick," accused a new voice.

"Damned, yes. Trick, no. Well, unless you count sending out an immortal instead of the person you really wanted. I'm not John Hart. I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

"He's lying!"

"Please," Jack groaned, achieving a sitting position at last. "Why would I lie? You already killed me. The worst is over, right?"

"THIS IS CAPTAIN REYNOLDS SPEAKING," Mal's voice came loud and clear from the _Serenity._ "NOW THAT YOU'VE GOT YOUR SATISFACTION, WE'D LIKE THE CAPTAIN BACK. LESS'N YOU WANT A FIGHT ON YOUR HANDS."

Rather than bother with his loudspeaker, the spokesman of the mob cupped his hands and shouted back. "Ain't you forgetting something? We got your friend hid away…"

"THIS FRIEND?"

Jack squinted up at the cockpit and saw April waving down at them. She didn't look happy.

"I think you'd better do as they say… you can't kill me, and you've lost your bargaining chip."

"Can't kill, nothin'! I'll show ya killing!"

Jack turned just in time to see a pistol leveled at him. Then there was the beginning of pain in his chest. But before the pain signals could really begin to assault his mind, everything stopped.

* * *

><p>"He was dead! I shot him dead!"<p>

"Oh, god… not again." Jack looked around. "Am I still with you people? Let me go already!"

"Think you'd best hand him back before someone gets hurt," said Mal's voice, sounding nearby.

Jack looked up to see the _Serenity's _captain standing on her ramp with gun in hand. "Besides me, you mean?" he muttered.

The Doctor joined Mal on the ramp. "Come on, give him back. We'll leave tomorrow. We won't trouble your city anymore."

"Get rid of 'em," someone agreed. "They don't belong here."

Little by little, the crowd began concurrent murmuring until Jack found himself being hustled back toward the ship.

"You ever come back, you'll find a fight on your hands," the lead rabble-rouser warned.

"Duly noted," said Mal.

The Doctor quickly escorted Jack inside, and Mal closed the door behind them.

"You didn't tell me you were going to let them kill you," the Doctor said urgently, taking Jack's face in his hands.

"If I'd told you my plan, you wouldn't have agreed, would you?"

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah."

"Really?" the Doctor searched Jack's face.

"Yes. I'm okay. But you owe me a kiss."

"Idiot."

But Jack got his kiss. He smiled and hugged the Doctor. Looking around, he noticed that for some reason, Mal had disappeared.

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry," John said, holding Jack tightly.<p>

"I'm fine, really. No pain." Jack pulled away and gave a hug to Gray and pried Dair off his waist before turning to the Master. He held out his hand, thumb down.

The Master understood the signal to take Jack's hand and allowed himself to be led from the room.

Jack stopped once they were out of earshot from the others. "Thank you for earlier," he said.

"That's all right."

"I'm ready to try again."

Looking somewhat surprised, the Master asked, "You sure?"

"Yes." Jack took the Master by the shoulders and kissed him lightly. "I can't stay with you tonight. I have to be with Gray tonight…"

"That's fine. I understand."

"But probably tomorrow night."

"Okay." The Master put his arms around Jack loosely. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too." Jack closed his eyes and pulled the Master a little closer, feeling his heartbeats and taking in the scent of electricity and silk and something that was just Timelord.

"Getting killed out there by humans… by ordinary people. It reminded me that the Reavers were human too. Just people that went wrong. They're mortal and nothing for me to be afraid of. And definitely not something that should make me afraid of my friends."

The Master settled his head on Jack's shoulder, listening.

"It will take time, but I think we can get back what we had. I want to trust you again."

"I want to trust you, too. Let you be in control more, and be honest with you."

Jack kissed him again, caressing his face. Then he heard someone clear their throat behind him. He turned to see the Doctor waiting patiently a little distance down the hall.

"Jack, we need to get off this planet. Or at least off this part of it."

Jack nodded, stepping back from the Master. "Okay… are we staying with the _Serenity?_"

"Perhaps for a while, but whether now or later we're going to have to part with them soon."

"Oh, isn't that a shame," the Master said, sounding a little sarcastic.

"Hate to lose River. She's made so much progress with Dair," said Jack.

"I know. I thought we might take her with us for a while… Simon might insist on coming with her, of course."

"I doubt Mal will like the idea of our making off with his medic."

The Doctor shrugged. "Worth a try. Either way, we need to get going."

* * *

><p>Soon both Tardises were parked on the other side of the planet, and the <em>Serenity <em>joined them a little later. April decided not to return to her home, but to have her pay from the mission transferred and her house sold.

"There wasn't anything of value there anyway," she told the others before leaving them. "I'll start completely over."

The others wished her luck and she went her way.

"Time for us to be underway too," Mal told the Doctor back in the _Serenity_. "We've got money enough to refuel and take on supplies to get us to our next job. Thanks to your friends."

"We'll be sorry to see you go. I wonder if I might ask a favor."

"Asking's one thing—granting's another."

The Doctor nodded. "I'd like Simon and River to travel with me for a while. There's so much River can do. She needs the chance to expand her horizons a bit. Plus, she's so good for Dair."

"And you want Simon because he won't let her out of his sight," Mal concluded.

"Well, we're happy to have him, of course."

Mal rubbed the back of his neck and looked around at the others.

"Lot of light years with no medic," Zoe commented.

"We've done it before."

"Do I get a say?" asked Simon.

"Don't worry, I don't want you along any more than you want to come," the Master told him. "Only I like having River on board."

"Why ain't someone asking River what she wants?" asked Kaylee.

"Fair point," said the Doctor.

All eyes turned to River, and River smiled at the Doctor. She crossed the room and took the Doctor's hand.

_You know, don't you?_

"No more than you do," River said.

_Well, it's all right with me, either way._

"Me, too."

Simon sighed. "Looks like we're going. I know better than to try to change her mind."

"Tardis is going to be a city before long," the Master muttered.

"Let's all get to our bunks," said Mal. "The _Serenity_ takes off first thing tomorrow."

* * *

><p>"So, if either of you gets up in the night, I'll be alerted," the Doctor explained to Jack and Gray. "As soon as you hit the floor I'll be on my way. Any questions?"<p>

"What if we have to pee?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you climb over the foot of the bed, it won't set off the alarm."

"Nifty."

"Where will you be sleeping?" asked Gray.

"In the closet."

Jack looked around. "Your room didn't have a closet last time I was in here. Just a bureau and a wardrobe."

The Doctor shrugged. "I told you I was going to redecorate. Just rearranged a couple walls. Involved putting the library one door further down, but I don't think anyone will mind too much."

"And how big is this closet?"

"Eh… about half the size of this room."

"Great. I won't feel bad about putting you out of your room, then."

"All right, if you two want to hop in now, I'll get the lights for you."

Gray looked uncertainly at Jack. "You sure you're ready?"

"Yes. After you."

Once the brothers were settled, the Doctor doused the lights and crossed over to the closet door. "Now, I don't want to hear a peep out of you boys," he said sternly.

"Yes, sir," said Jack.

"Only joking of course. Talk as much as you like. Good night."

"Good night," they answered.

The words "see you in hell" came to Jack's mind again as the Doctor closed the closet door, but he pushed them away.

_It's my brother, not an enemy._

"You know I won't hurt you, don't you?" Gray asked quietly.

"I know." _I do?_ Jack reached out and found Gray's hand. Gray responded by stroking his fingers lightly. _It's okay. It will get better now. Everything will._ "I love you, Gray."

After a little silence, Gray said, "I thought when you went out there… instead of John… I thought it would make things worse."

"Oh… I didn't really think about it," Jack realized.

"Too used to rushing to John's aid?"

Jack smiled. "I don't know. Maybe." He felt Gray's hand tighten on his, but he didn't feel anxious about it. "I think it might have helped, actually. Kind of a lousy way to end the day, but…"

"Thanks for taking me back." Gray's voice sounded tight. "I needed to see—"

"Yeah. It had been a long time for me, too. It was good to go back."

"I needed you, too. But I shouldn't get to be with you now."

"Of course you should." Jack moved closer and put his arm around Gray carefully, ready to retreat. "You're still my brother. I don't want anything to keep us apart." He could feel Gray starting to tremble. "It's okay."

Gray rested his head against Jack's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jack."

"I know. Don't try to talk any more right now, okay? We need to do this slowly."

"Okay." Gray continued to shake for a couple of minutes, but he let Jack hold him and gradually returned the embrace. Then he whispered, "I love you," and started shaking all over again.

Jack rubbed Gray's arm and silently thanked whoever cared to take credit for giving him back his brother. "I love you." He kissed Gray's forehead. "Good night."

* * *

><p>"<em>It's been a long time, Doctor."<em>

"_No. Not you."_

"_Don't waste time on denial."_

"_Why now?"_

"_Why not now? It's been so long. A hundred years? More?"_

"_What do you want?"_

"_What do I always want? Come along, what is it?"_

"_Death."_

"_That's right. You're a bit rusty, but you'll come round, I'm sure. Now, we need to plot our course for tomorrow. Somewhere exciting that will let me stretch my wings, as it were."_

"_I'm not taking you anywhere."_

"_Oh, yes you are. You want your new friends with you, don't you? You can take me, too. But if you don't think there's room, we can leave someone else behind. Jenny, perhaps? River?"_

"_You leave them alone!"_

"_Struck a nerve, have I?"_

* * *

><p>The Doctor burst out of the closet. The room outside was dimly lit. Jack and Gray were nestled together, but they both started when the Doctor came in.<p>

Jack blinked at him. "What's going on? Where's the fire?"

He looked around the room, turning on the spot and then grasping distractedly at his hair. "She's here… how can she be here? where can she be?" His eyes fell on the door and he started toward it. "Jenny. Where's Jenny?"

"She stayed in the Meddler's Tardis last night," Jack supplied. "Why?"

"She did?!" The Doctor frowned at this news.

"I thought you knew."

"Oh…" the Doctor quickly pulled on his clothes and dashed from the room.

_It could have been just a dream… yes, perhaps I dreamt the whole thing. Just an ordinary dream._

He hurried across to the stage coach-shaped TARDIS. "Jenny? Jenny, are you in there?"

The coach door opened a moment later and Jenny looked out at him. "What is it?"

"Is everything all right?" he asked urgently.

"I might ask you that. You don't look well."

"I'm all right. Anything out of the ordinary over here? Anything at all?"

"No." Jenny looked perplexed.

"You need to tell me before you go and decide to stay over somewhere. I thought you were in the Tardis—my TARDIS."

Jenny looked at the ground. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

"All right; come back now. I want you close by."

"Okay." Jenny looked back into the control room.

The Doctor could see the Meddler coming in from the back, still in his pajamas and looking very sleepy.

"What's going on?"

"Going back over to Dad's."

"Okay. I'll come in a little bit."

The Doctor held his tongue. He would deal with the Meddler's meddling later.

The _Serenity_ crew was congregating outside to say goodbye to the Tardis-dwellers. The Doctor and Jenny went to join them.

Kaylee hugged both River and Simon a long time and shed tears over both of them. "Don't stay away too long," she told them. _"Serenity's_ gonna seem duller'n a socket wrench without you two."

Inara, Wash and Zoe hugged and/or kissed the siblings. Then Mal awkwardly let River kiss his cheek and shook Simon's hand.

"Sure was handy having a doctor on board," he said. "Might consider having you back… if you take a notion."

Simon nodded. "I'm sure we'll see each other again before too long—maybe very soon, depending on how much time traveling we do… and which way."

"Right."

Jayne managed to shake hands with the Tams civilly, and he told Simon in a gruff voice, "Look after that sister of yours. Even if she ain't crazy now, I reckon she might still get herself in trouble."

"I will," Simon answered.

Inara caressed Jack's face and gave him and Gray a warm smile. "I wish you all the best."

"Thank you," said Jack. "I hope we meet again."

Then the Doctor and the others said their goodbyes and Mal led his crew back to the ship.

"Will we see them again?" Jenny asked.

"Oh, I'm sure," answered the Doctor. "We'll return Simon and River eventually. Now…" he looked around and spotted the Master going back into the Tardis. He set out in pursuit and caught up to the other Timelord before he was far from the control room.

"Master, I've got to ask you something."

The Master halted and looked at the Doctor expectantly.

"Last night…"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"I dreamt about Jade, too. About Death."

The Doctor groaned. "Then she really is back. What did she say to you?"

"She said welcome back and how eager she was to renew our acquaintance and such."

"What did you tell her?"

"Told her to screw herself."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Did you really?"

"Pretty much. What did she say to you?"

"Um… same sort of thing I s'pose. Only she made a sort of threat to harm Jenny or River."

"Interesting."

"Interesting?"

"Sure." The Master folded his arms and leaned against the passage wall. "I think we need to figure out who this person really is."

"I've tried, but there's just no answer. If she's not a non-physical, all-knowing entity, then how could she just show up wherever I was? How could she communicate through my dreams? And yours…"

"Wait a moment." The Master put up a hand. "You're onto something there. The way she acted in Perfugium… she seemed to be in control of every situation, and yet she could be taken by surprise."

"Yes… You're right. And there was something she said…"

"_Well let me think about it… if, as an apparently non-corporeal universal concept, I _can_ think… Oh, all right, Doctor. Why not?"_

"Sounds as if she forgot herself for a moment," the Master said. "Forgot her purpose, her ability, even her own identity. Like it never occurred to her until that moment to contemplate her own being. But death has existed almost as long as time, surely. How could Death itself be so…"

"Personable?" suggested the Doctor. "If the situation were not so dire, she would have been downright amusing. She had wit and a sense of humor. A dark one, but still. And this uncertainty seems to indicate that she was not so old as she pretended to be."

"Precisely. I don't think she's a universal concept at all. I think there's an actual person behind her. Someone that's been following us since we were children on Gallifrey."

"But she was silent so long." The Doctor frowned. "Why has she come back now?"

"Because we're together again? Perhaps the dynamic of our current equation is what it takes to wake her up after a long sleep. Not to mention we've got an immortal onboard… someone who's cheated her many times."

"Yes." _Jack probably makes her very angry—or whoever is behind her._ "We have to find her. Find whoever is doing this. I'm not going to let her threaten me anymore."

The Master nodded. "I'm with you this time. I want rid of her, too."

* * *

><p><em>And there we shall leave it for now. Hope you enjoyed. Comments appreciated. ^^<br>_


	47. Eighth Man Bound

_Thanks for the reviews. I see a couple more new people have started reading-that's always exciting. ^^ Sometimes when I see a story with 40+ chapters I get intimidated and don't want to bother with it, so thanks for coming in._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Forty-seven: Eighth Man Bound

* * *

><p>The Doctor watched River's face anxiously. She had her eyes closed and she tilted her head back and forth as if listening.<p>

"The Doctor, the Master, Hart, Gray… Dair, Simon… Jenny, the Meddler…" A long pause. "Jack. There's no one else on board."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"Yes. There's something on board though…"

"A stowaway?"

"Maybe."

"A parasite?" suggested the Master.

"No. The Tardis thinks it's sort of cargo."

"The Tardis thinks," the Master scoffed.

"She does!" the Doctor retorted. "At least… she's aware. That's close enough, isn't it? Anyway. Either Jade isn't on board right now or she's disguised as some sort of object.

"How many rooms are there in here?"

The Doctor rubbed his chin. "Well… I wasn't counting, but last time I did some rearranging—which was just the other day—I'd say the count was round three hundred. Can't be sure, of course."

"That's a lot of rooms," said River.

"Yes, it is. And some of them are very large. You know, I'm not certain I've even set foot in all of them."

"Probably not," said the Master. He began to pace the control room. "She's linked to you somehow, though. Or to me, or both of us. I think that a physical object in your TARDIS is the most likely explanation. Now, you first encountered her the night after Torvic's death. What does that tell us?"

"Jade was on Gallifrey at the time," the Doctor answered. "That or close by, with a sophisticated relay. But I think she was there."

"So Jade is a Timelord?"

"Not necessarily. But she is someone very crafty, so it does seem likely. Someone who saw what happened between us and Torvic."

"Hidden cameras?" River suggested.

"Down by the river? Unlikely. Perhaps Jade had a telepathic link with Torvic and she saw what happened through his eyes. Then, when he died, she infiltrated my psyche and lay dormant until I began to dream that night…"

"That's a plausible theory," the Master agreed. "But if it is a Timelord, that means they survived the Time War. Jade, or whoever it is, found a way to escape and has either been healing herself or just following you and waiting for a vulnerable moment."

"But I'm not vulnerable now, am I? I've got more allies with me right now than I've had since the Time War…" The Doctor paused.

"Yes, exactly. I've always told you that friends are liabilities. You have your allies, but you also have an extra burden. You feel responsible to protect these people, and there are _so many_ of them."

"You think that's why she's here now?"

"That, and our being together. I think she's going to wreak havoc on us if we don't find her quickly."

"Then let's find her," said River. "There are ten of us and three hundred rooms. Thirty rooms apiece."

The Doctor sighed. "It's not that simple. Some rooms can't be entered by single-hearted people, other rooms are Timelord-entrance only. Some have grown or changed or disappeared since I last saw them. Some have traps and illusions in them. The Master and I would be fine, but anyone else would need a search partner for safety. Even then, it could be dangerous."

"You and I and the Meddler are Timelords," the Master listed, "And Jack and Jenny have two hearts. I think it's time we figured out whether or not Jenny is really one of us."

"It's not necessary."

"Why not? What if she could regenerate? Would you really want to be the one to hold her back—to keep her from living as long as she ought to?"

"Don't try to manipulate me," the Doctor snapped. "Let's get the others together and tell them what we know."

"Tell them the whole story?"

"Everything. They deserve the truth."

* * *

><p>The Doctor looked around at his friends, most of whom had their eyes down, avoiding his gaze.<p>

"Yes, I killed one of my own kind. I hit him from behind without warning. I didn't give him a fair chance."

"He was twice your size," the Master interrupted. "Facing him head-on would hardly have been fair either."

The Doctor ignored him. "Since then I've done my best to help people where I could… to make up for what happened that day. They were good things to do, but nothing can undo a deed once it is done—time travelers understand that better than anyone else."

Jack left his seat beside Gray on the floor and crossed the room to kneel by the Doctor. "We want to help you. Whoever Jade is, we're going to figure it out and help you get past this once and for all. I've taken on death before and won… this Jade person can't be any worse, right?"

The Doctor managed a small smile. "Thank you. It's not you so much that I'm worried about, though."

"We all want to help," said Jenny. "I'm not going to let some creepy woman mess with my dad."

"Always loved a good witch hunt," the Meddler agreed.

"You know we're with you," said River.

"Sure," Simon said half-heartedly. "All for one and…"

"…Every man for himself," John finished with a laugh. "So, what do we do first?"

"First, we need to figure out what Jenny can and can't do," said the Master.

"Absolutely not," the Doctor protested. "Will you not shut up?"

"What's wrong?" asked Jenny. "I want to know as much as he does. What don't you want me to know?"

An awkward silence fell.

The Doctor rubbed his temples wearily. "All right… we're going to do this my way or not at all." He lifted his head and met the Master's gaze. "Understand?"

"Sure, of course. Whatever you say."

"Okay. If any of you want to poke about the Tardis, you're welcome to, but don't anyone go alone. And be aware that you may be cut off from parts of it. If you run into anything that concerns you, come and ask about it before you try anything."

The others acknowledged his instructions.

River took Dair's hand. "Stay with me."

Dair nodded and held her hand tightly. The Doctor wondered if he understood what was going on or not. He certainly seemed to grasp the gravity of the situation.

"Jenny, come to the control room. Meddler, Master, you come too," the Doctor instructed. "And Jack, you may as well come along. The rest of you may carry on as you see fit until further instructions."

* * *

><p>The Timelords and demi-Timelords stood around the Tardis's controls.<p>

"This column channels the energy of the matrix," the Doctor told Jenny.

She nodded. "The Meddler showed me. The Matrix is a sort of converter and engine in one."

"Sort of." The Doctor did his best not to be distracted by his annoyance toward the Meddler. "When someone who has little exposure to the vortex looks into the heart of the Tardis, anything can happen. They might die; they might regress to infancy…"

"They might absorb the vortex and turn their best friend immortal…" Jack put in.

"Best friend," the Doctor snorted.

"Hey, if you hadn't left me behind… I think that's _why_ you left me behind. You felt threatened by my awesomeness."

"Oh, shut up. Anyway, a Timelord is more likely to come away unscathed, but it's still risky. Not anything to be taken lightly."

"So… why do it?" asked Jenny.

"Because you haven't been exposed to the Schism your whole life," the Master supplied. "The Untempered Schism was a sort of gateway in the fabric of reality. Initiates to the Academy were taken to the Schism at eight years old to look into it. And they lived near it their whole lives. It shaped them."

"Some say that's how we advanced so much more quickly than humans and such," said the Doctor. "And how we worked out time travel. Or maybe how Time chose our race."

"Bottom line: You haven't been exposed to the Schism, so this'll have to do. You're our inductee, and we are now your professors, like it or not."

Jenny looked to the Doctor and he gave her a reassuring nod.

Jack raised his hand.

"You, the cheeky lad in the outdated attire," the Master acknowledged him.

"How does this help with the Jade problem?"

"Well, if we figure out where Jenny stands, we can take stock of our assets. Know what we're protecting and figure out what Jade wants. Plus, educating her builds up our side. Makes her more competent in an emergency."

Jack raised his hand again.

"Oh, let's not always call on the same people," the Meddler said, sounding a little annoyed, but smiling slightly.

"What am I here for?" Jack asked.

"You've got two hearts now," the Doctor told him. "Think we should see your capabilities, too."

"The vortex is what recreated me. Is there a chance it might undo what Rose did?"

"Is that what you want?"

Jack looked at the Master and then back to the Doctor. "No. Not anymore."

_It's not just seeing the survival of mankind… he actually wants to live now._ The Doctor smiled at Jack. "Just stand back a bit. Should be fine."

"Should be? You'd better kiss me before we do this."

"You're not going to die."

"If I do, I'm gonna kill you."

"I'll kiss you," the Master offered.

The corner of Jack's mouth twitched. "How can I say no?" He met the Master halfway in a gentle kiss. Then something twitched—probably the exhibitionist in him—and he parted his lips. He was instantly gratified to feel the Master's mouth open for his tongue.

"Jaaa-aack," the Doctor whined. "My daughter's watching."

Jack pulled away reluctantly, sighing a little as the Master's hands reemerged from his coat and his own found their way back to his sides. "See you in hell."

"Counting on it," said the Master.

"AN-y-way," the Doctor said, stepping up to the console. "Not going to leave it open long. Don't look at it directly," he told Jenny. "Just stand there and get a feel for it. Five seconds at most, all right?"

"Okay." Jenny looked nervous but determined. Jack stood just behind her and she took his hand.

The Meddler, the Master and the Doctor positioned themselves around the console, giving the Tardis her instructions. Then they stepped back and the Doctor ran his hand over the console.

_You know what I want. I'm not telling you; I'm asking. This is my daughter. She's part of me. And this is my friend. He's part of you. Show them the truth._

A section of the console lifted slowly, and the control room was filled with an overpowering white light.

The Doctor watched their faces. Jenny's eyes were wide, but not focused on the heart of the Tardis. Jack's eyes were closed. He tightened his grip on Jenny's hand.

_Initiation day. Doesn't matter if you're eight or eight hundred… the vortex is raw power._ Suddenly, the Doctor's eyes flicked to the Master.

A cold female voice seemed to say in his ear,_ "What will he do? What if I awake him as I did in Perfugium?"_

The Master seemed to be looking directly into the vortex. His eyes were bright, his hands clenched, his chest heaving.

"_No. I won't let you take him away again."_ The Doctor reached to reseal the Tardis, but the console slammed down of its own accord.

Jenny stumbled forward and leaned on the console with her free hand. The Meddler went to her side.

"Are you all right?"

The Doctor maneuvered around Jack and Jenny to the Master. "Koschei," he said under his breath. He took the Master's arm to support him. He could feel him trembling slightly. "Are you all right?"

The Master blinked slowly. "Fine…"

"Honestly? Look at me."

"That's a lot to ask. Your ugly mug…"

"Look at me!"

The Master turned a spiteful look on him. "I resent your tone."

"I can hear you now," said a new voice.

The Doctor turned around to see that River had slipped into the room and was addressing Jack. Dair hovered uncertainly in the doorway.

"What does that mean?" Jack asked her. "Is it good?"

River tilted her head to the side. "I think it depends…"

The Doctor dragged his gaze back to the Master's face. "Are you all right?" he repeated.

"Of course I'm all right." The Master pulled his arm out of the Doctor's grasp.

"What were you thinking just then?"

"What was I thinking? What is this?"

River moved to stand in front of the Master. "You were thinking this was your chance. You could absorb the vortex and be free."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he snapped.

"Master, absorbing the vortex isn't freedom. It would kill you," the Doctor said solemnly.

"Why are you listening to her?"

"It would transform you," River said, not taking her eyes off the Master. "You could regenerate with the power of a god and start a new holocaust."

"Stop it!" the Master looked around at the others. "It isn't true. Jack… please, you don't believe this, do you?"

"Did you hear Jade's voice?" asked the Doctor.

"Jade? No…"

"You wouldn't lie about this, would you?"

"No, damn it! Aren't you going to see how the Tardis affected Jenny? That's what we're here for, isn't it?"

The Doctor looked at Jenny and found that the Meddler had his arm around her. "All right, Jenny?"

"I'm okay," she said. "It was… looking at me. Talking to me. But I don't know what it said."

Jack nodded. "That's how it seemed to me… like it was singing a song I didn't know I'd forgotten."

"They're all right," said the Meddler. "What about him?"

"I didn't do anything!" the Master protested.

"Will you submit to a psychic link?" asked the Doctor.

"Yes. Confound you."

The Doctor closed his eyes and reached for the Master with his mind. "Contact." He heard the Master sigh next to him.

"Contact."

As their thoughts connected, the Doctor could just hear the Meddler's voice on the edge of his consciousness, explaining roughly how the psychic link worked and that it was usually used to combine the mental abilities of two or more Timelords to aid in solution-finding.

The Doctor found the fresh memory of looking into the heart of the Tardis. He could sense the Master exploring his new encounter with Jade's voice, but he didn't let himself be distracted.

_Power. All that power. To think that a human absorbed it… She brought Jack back to life forever… The Doctor had that energy in him for a few moments and he didn't use it! He could have been a god. He had to regenerate for nothing. I could do it… could do it now. I'd have to regenerate, but all that power… It wouldn't matter. I could start over._

All these thoughts had come to the Master in a moment. But then they came to a halt.

_I don't need to start over. I'm done with the fighting. I have Jack and Sigma and Gray and the others… I don't need that life anymore._

The Doctor opened his eyes. "So… what River heard—"

"Psychic human comes into the room when you're being interrogated—of course you're going to think about the thing that would incriminate you. But I'm not like that now. I… I don't want to be." He cleared his throat. "Anyway… you heard Jade talking to you about me."

"Yes. But she apparently wasn't able to do anything. I think as long as I can count on you, we've got the upper hand."

"Then, we'll always have the upper hand."

The Doctor gripped the Master's shoulder. "Good man."

"So, if River can hear my thoughts now," Jack said, "does that mean I'm… back to normal?"

"You're not dead anymore," said River.

"Am I mortal?"

"Let's find out," said the Master. "Simple enough to test."

Jack laughed dryly. "Yeah, well…" He pulled a knife from his pocket. "Anyone want to do the honors?"

Jenny grimaced. The Meddler looked at the floor.

"Sure," said the Master.

"Jack…" said the Doctor.

Before the Master could get to Jack's side, however, River snatched the knife from his hand and swept it upward so quickly that the Doctor couldn't follow it with his eye.

"Ow," said Jack. A tiny cut on his cheekbone began to bleed. Then the wound closed. He reached up to wipe the blood away.

"Still immortal," River concluded.

"Something's different, though," said the Master. "Interesting…. Oh, well. Time for that later; back to Jenny. Feel any different?"

"I don't know," Jenny said slowly. She looked anxious.

The Doctor took her hands. "It's all right. Take your time."

"It was so much. I don't think I understood anything, really. But it was like I got a few gigabytes downloaded into me… and I'm not sure how to access the files."

"Okay. That's good. A good start."

"Let me in," the Master said eagerly, coming forward. "I want a look in there."

The Doctor glared. "No. Leave her alone for a bit, will you?"

"Fine…"

"'Bout time for lunch, isn't it?" the Meddler suggested. "How about if we relax for a little while?"

The others agreed and filtered out of the room. The Doctor intercepted the Meddler and waited until they were alone.

"What is it?" the Meddler asked.

"It's Jenny. You've gotten very chummy with her very quickly."

"Yes… she's easy to get to know. Friendly."

"She stayed in your TARDIS overnight, and I didn't know about it until morning." The Doctor could feel his annoyance rising. _Don't get out of control._

"It wasn't any big plan," the Meddler said, beginning to look uncomfortable. "I didn't try to keep you from finding out. We were just talking about time travel and I suggested she come look at some things in my TARDIS, she said it was a bit late, and I said I could put her up. And that's what we did."

"She's my daughter. I need to know about these things before they happen."

"I think she's more an adult than you want to admit. She may not be very old in years, but she told me she had an adult mind when she was born. She's got a good head on her."

The Doctor took a moment to be sure he was calm before he answered. "It isn't down to you to decide what's best for her. I need to know I don't have to worry about the pair of you."

"I'll try to remember to keep you informed, but you don't need to worry," the Meddler answered evenly.

"Okay… go on and eat if you like. I'm not hungry."

* * *

><p>"Where are you?" the Doctor cried in frustration.<p>

_"Stop trying to find me. It's hopeless. So let's get on with our plans, shall we?"_

"No. You or something to do with you is in my ship, and I'm going to find it."

"Talking to yourself?"

The Doctor whirled around to find the Master close behind him. "Lord, you startled me. No, I was talking to Jade. You heard her lately?"

"No…"

_"He can hear me if I want him to."_

"Okay, I heard her just then. That is so annoying."

"Yes, it is. I've been searching the more out-of-the-way places… but I think I'll have to go deeper still."

"It's getting late. I think we should start over in the morning. Make a systematic search."

"I suppose so." The Doctor sighed. He walked back with the Master past suits of armor and ancient weaponry, through another room which contained miscellaneous electronics from many eras, down a hallway and back to the main passages.

"I've had no luck either, of course," the Master said as they walked. "But the Tardis has changed quite a bit since I had the run of her, so I nearly got lost a couple of times."

"S'pose I really ought to map her out one day."

"You'd have to update it all the time, though. Listen, before we turn in for the night, I think we ought to have a go at Eighth Man Bound."

"_That foolishness again, Doctor? Stop these games and get underway."_

The Doctor looked at the Master in surprise. "Did you hear that?"

"Jade? Didn't quite catch what she said."

"She doesn't want us to try it."

"So, it might put her at a further disadvantage?"

"Maybe." The Doctor frowned. "I didn't want it to come to this. It's a dangerous game."

"No more than it was when we played it. And we're adults now." Very tentatively, the Master rested a hand on the Doctor's arm. "She'll be all right."

It was all the Doctor could do not to let a smile burst through his serious expression at the awkward gesture. _My, how times change._ "We do it my way," he said firmly.

"Your way?"

"No chorus. The verse isn't necessary. I think it just serves to distract the Initiate. That isn't helpful. Just a single recitation will do. After all, the first time it was done, the game hadn't even been named yet. The verse hadn't been written."

"That is a fair point. Where shall we do it?"

"The Astronomy room. You fetch the Meddler and I'll get Jenny and Jack."

"Will that be enough of us?"

"I think so. I'd rather the others didn't know. By the way… I think letting Gray sleep by Jack last night went well, so it's all right with me if you want to try tonight."

"Thanks. Hey, after Eighth Man Bound, you should try Sepulchasm with River."

"Watch your mouth," the Doctor said sternly, but then he laughed. "Not a bad idea."

* * *

><p>"Jenny, you sit in the middle, there. You're the Initiate and we're the Inquiry. What you need to do is breathe slowly and empty your mind," the Doctor explained. "We'll chant round you and trigger a sort of identity crisis. If you're able to, you'll enter a state of flux where you'll be able to see your next regeneration, and possibly several. There's no need for you to stay that way though, if it's too much."<p>

"How will I know if it's too much?" Jenny asked, settling in the middle of the floor.

"Well… if you're really feeling like you'll die if you stay longer, you can find your way back."

"How?"

"I can plant something subliminal," the Master offered. "You won't think of it unless you're trying hard. When you do, it'll be simple to come back."

"Have you tried that before?" the Doctor asked.

"I got up to a lot of high jinks in school that you never knew about. Tried a lot of things."

Jenny accepted the Master's offer. Once she was ready, the Doctor went on with his explanation.

"It's a dangerous game, so don't go on with it if you don't want to."

"How dangerous?" asked Jack.

"Roughly a dozen neonate Timelord deaths a year, isn't that right, Doctor?" said the Master.

"Deaths?" Jenny's eyes were wide.

The Doctor nodded grimly. "There were as many as fifteen one year. That was when discipline really cracked down and the game was forbidden… didn't stop us, though. Foolish children will continue to do foolish things."

"Boys will be boys," Jack concluded.

"Precisely… but the girls got in on it, too. Sometimes the game would trigger an actual regeneration, or the Timelord would get stuck in flux, or he might die."

"Why is it called Eighth Man Bound?" Jenny asked.

"Because the fellow who started it was able to see his first seven incarnations, but not the eighth man. It's the most anyone's ever seen."

"Really?" The Doctor could feel the Master's eyes boring into him. "You never actually told me outright that you didn't tie that record."

"I don't care to talk about the indiscretions of my younger days in front of my daughter."

"There you go, avoiding it again."

"Hadn't we better get on with it?" the Meddler interrupted.

"Jenny, are you ready?" the Doctor asked.

"I guess so."

When everyone was settled, the Master recited the verse.

"Eighth man bound/ Make no sound/ The shroud covers all/ The Long and the Short/ And the Old and the Loud/ And the Young and the Dark/ And the Tall."

Then the four of them chanted Jenny's name.

It seemed like a long time to the Doctor—perhaps more than a whole minute—before Jenny showed any sign of anxiety. Then he could clearly see her breathing accelerate. Her serene expression changed to discomfort, and then a quiet moan escaped her.

"_You should really stop this before someone gets hurt, Doctor."_

The Doctor's voice faltered but he continued the chant. _She really doesn't want us to go through with it._ He glanced at the Master and found his gaze returned. The Master looked unshaken and determined.

Then Jenny shuddered and turned her eyes up toward the starry ceiling of the Astronomy room. She seemed to glow faintly, and her face to blur.

_She's entered flux. Can't stop now._ The Doctor continued his chant mechanically. The name Jenny would have seemed completely meaningless to him now, except that it was so important to him. His mind clung to the knowledge that that word was connected to the person in their midst who was so dear to him. "Jenny, Jenny, Jenny…"

The glow around her grew and the others chanted more quietly on the Master's signal. Moments later, Jenny uttered one word in a hoarse whisper: "Sigma." Then the glow disappeared and she collapsed on the floor. The chanting stopped.

The Doctor crawled forward and scooped Jenny into his arms. "She's all right," he said. "She's breathing… color's about normal… she'll be fine."

The others collectively sighed in relief.

"That was intense," said Jack.

The Doctor looked at the Master with a raised eyebrow. "You gave her 'Sigma' as her safe word?"

"It seemed appropriate," he replied with a shrug. "Something she could associate with you, but that she hasn't up 'til this point."

"Does it always pull like that?" Jack asked.

The others turned one by one to look at him.

"What?"

The Master took Jack's hand. "You may be more Timelord than we thought, that's all." He jerked his head toward the spot where Jenny had been sitting. "Into the middle, Initiate. It's your turn."

* * *

><p><em>And here's another evil cliff-hanger. xD I'm not sure of the details of Eighth Man Bound since I haven't read Christmas on a Rational Planet or Lungbarrow. So I just filled in what I didn't know with my own inventions, like a good fan-fic writer. :p Sepulchasm, in case you were wondering, is another (but very different) Timelord game. It is also used by some as a swear word-ergo the Doctor's chiding. And I'm probably going to start using it now. ;) Don't forget to review. ^^<br>_


	48. Pillows and Pollen

_Not the longest, but I hope it'll get your adrenaline up a little.  
><em>

_Spoilers include some old series stuff, some new series stuff, some radio stuff, and maybe some other stuff which I forget from whence it came... :p Shouldn't upset you much if you've come this far.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Forty-eight: Pillows and Pollen

* * *

><p>"What did you see?" the Doctor asked quietly.<p>

Jenny looked up at him, but still seemed not to see him. "I saw myself… and then I saw a woman. She was tall and dark-haired. And then…" Jenny frowned in concentration. "There was a shorter woman. I'm not sure what she looked like. It was all blurry, like a dream."

"So you saw two?"

"Two future regenerations," the Meddler said in awe. "This proves it, doesn't it?"

"Wait, there was a third," Jenny said suddenly. "I don't remember anything about her. Only I think she was older… I can't say why."

"I knew this was a good idea," said the Master.

"You think I can regenerate?" Jack asked skeptically.

"We won't know unless we try."

"But what if it doesn't work on me because I'm… mostly human? You said this was really dangerous, right?"

"If you're too human, it shouldn't have much effect on you. If you're Timelord enough, then you'll be in some danger. But you're immortal, so… I'm sure it'll be fine."

Jack gave him a look.

"I predict that the worst that will happen is you decide to change your name. Which isn't really a new thing for you… Jack isn't your real name, correct?"

"No… but I've had it since my early days with the Time Agency. The Harkness I added later."

"Enough," the Doctor said, running a hand through his already messy hair. "What it comes down to is whether or not Jack _wants_ to try this."

Everyone waited. Jack stared at the floor, determined not to let the expressions on any of his friends' faces influence his decision. _Go for it_, was his first impulse, but he hesitated. _Do I really want to know what's coming? I'm already immortal—death isn't creeping up on me unexpectedly like it is for everyone else. My life stretches out endlessly, a curse as much as a blessing. Do I want to take away more expectation? Lose a little more of the interest I take in my own life?_

"We could always do it later on," the Master ventured.

Jack realized the others were becoming uncomfortable waiting on his choice. "If I don't do it now, it'll just make me wonder. Better to get it out of the way," he decided.

The Master nodded. "Quite right. Places, everyone."

Jack felt unusually self-conscious as the others grouped around him. He listened to them chanting his name, slowly beginning to feel disoriented.

_Jack is such a stupid name. Who needs nicknames? Why did I let them start calling me that? Who started it, anyway? I think it was John. Jack. Jack? Who invented such a silly combination of sounds, anyway? What was my real name again? Jack… oh, shit._

After that, Jack didn't remember much. Everything seemed very hazy. He felt the old resolve coming up to still his panic—the resolve that no matter how scary or painful it was, he would come back to life after. And then all of this… whatever it was, would go away.

"Jack?" the Master's voice said steadily. "Come on, Jack, wakey-wakey."

Jack opened his eyes to the Master's lopsided smile. Oddly, not very reassuring. He looked around at the Doctor, Jenny and the Meddler. "Did I die?" he asked.

"No, no, no," the Master answered. "Just passed out. See anything?"

"Not a damn thing. So… regeneration's out for me?"

"You really didn't see anything?" the Doctor asked, sounding surprised.

"No… why?"

The Master chuckled. "Because you had a hell of an outer manifest."

"What? What's that mean?"

The Doctor frowned in thought. "How many were there, five?"

"Six," the Master corrected. Almost tied the record.

"Wait…" Jack struggled to sit up and paused propped on his elbows to let his vision clear again. "You're saying you saw my regenerations? Five future versions of me?"

"Couldn't be anything else. I've never seen an outer manifest before, but it's happened among Timelord younglings before. Usually weaker ones, they said. Rather like Squibs in Harry Potter." The Master paused, looking shocked. "Oh gods, I'm making Harry Potter references."

Jack couldn't help smirking a little. "You relate the wizards to Timelords, huh? And the rest of us are Squibs and Muggles?"

"Well… in a parallel universe, maybe."

"So, this means I can regenerate. But… why haven't I?"

"Maybe because you don't know how?"

"Maybe because it isn't time," the Doctor rejoined. "You're a unique case. No Timelord has been given an immortality like yours. But I think… this may explain some things. You remember that thing I told you to remember?"

For a moment Jack didn't know what the Doctor was talking about. Then suddenly he recalled. _Up, and to the left._ "Yeah."

"Well, I'm more sure now that it's important, so hang onto it."

_Great, another cryptic message._ "Okay…. So, what will I look like the first time?" He waited expectantly.

"Um… sort of…" the Doctor trailed off.

Jack looked to the Master.

"It might be fun, but I hope you hang onto this one a while," the Master said with a knowing smile.

"Is anyone going to tell me?"

"They weren't very clear anyway," the Meddler said in a calming voice. "And we only saw them for a moment. The important thing is that regeneration does seem to be possible for you. As many as five more lives await you. Maybe more."

"Five different faces." Jack let himself back down onto the floor. "I feel tired. Like, actually sleepy. That's a big deal for me."

The Master patted his arm. "Come to bed with me?"

* * *

><p>"Now, you understand the ground rules?" the Doctor asked seriously as he prepared for another night in the closet.<p>

"Yes, yes," the Master replied. "No funny business."

"All set, Jack?"

Jack laid his head back on his pillow and took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Okay. Good night, you two." The Doctor kissed Jack's forehead. "Don't stay up all night."

"Mhm."

"Off you go," the Master prompted.

Jack took the Master's hand and waited for the Doctor to put out the light and close the closet door. He tensed slightly, half expecting the Master to roll over on top of him, but all was still.

The Master spoke first. "May I ask something?"

"Go right ahead."

"Did you think of me much? When we were apart?"

Jack tried to remember, but his mind was reluctant to return to the Reaver ship. Large chunks of the memories had become blurry or faded. Still, since he hadn't gotten much conversation there, his own thoughts were more prominent in what memories he could find on short notice. "Some… I thought of all of you."

"But some more than others?"

"Yeah," Jack admitted.

"It was the Doctor you were waiting for, wasn't it? Not me."

Jack didn't know what to say. He wanted to be honest, but part of him didn't want to disappoint that Master.

"It's okay. He is sort of the rescue type. And you've known him so much longer. It makes sense."

"He's never let me down."

"He's never hurt you."

Jack felt the bed shift as the Master turned onto his side, facing him.

"I'm never going to hurt you again."

"I know…"

"I want to show you something. But you'll have to trust me."

_Show me something? What could it possibly be?_ "Well… show me how?"

"I want to let you into my memories so you can see the things I did from my point of view. But since you're not a Timelord, I'll have to get into your mind first and lead you back," the Master explained.

"I'm more Timelord than you thought, remember?"

"You don't know how. When River reads your mind, are you aware that she's doing it?"

"No," Jack admitted.

"It's different from the occasional human telepathy. And River is exceptional, certainly. The Doctor said his granddaughter Susan showed an aptitude for it, but not at the same level. For a human, she's amazing."

"Okay, so maybe I would need help at it. But do I really want to see things from your point of view?"

"We've talked about my past a good deal, but I think there's more that you can't understand unless you see it for yourself. See it as I saw it."

_It sounds good, but he's so crafty. He knows he can't do anything to me physically with the Doctor so close. But he could mind-rape me and probably get away with it._

The Master squeezed his hand. "Jack, I love you. I wouldn't do this for anyone else."

_He knows if he pulls anything, we're done. He knows if he screws up really bad, he's getting put back in the freezer. He hasn't betrayed my trust so far._ "Okay," Jack decided. He moved over to rest his head against the Master's shoulder.

"I'll just be in there a couple of seconds," the Master told him. "I won't hide anything from you, but try to pay attention to the things I'm showing you and don't wander off."

"Got it." Jack twitched at the feeling of a hand at the side of his face, and then the Master made his entrance. It was something between seeing and feeling, but Jack had no trouble sensing him.

The Master beckoned and Jack followed him through a round sort of doorway; things seemed to get dark even though everything was glowing and humming busily. They made their way through endless dreamlike sensations until Jack could make out some clear sounds and images. He saw the Timelord academy, Gallifrey and a Tardis that was not the Doctor's.

They wandered through a good many scenes until Jack felt as if he had experienced every sensation and emotion possible through the Master's eyes. All except love and compassion… until his captivity in the Tardis. Then things began to change. Jack felt emotionally exhausted, but he held on until he knew he had seen all that the Master wanted to show him.

It had taken enormous concentration, but Jack remembered and struck out on his own. He knew the Master was following him, trying to keep up. But there was something in the more recent memories that Jack had to get his hands on. Finally, he found what he was looking for: shadowy images of a person—seven faces or figures, just as the Master had seen in Jack's outer manifest.

Having got what he wanted, Jack pulled away and the Master let him go. The two of them lay quiet for a few minutes. Jack was surprised to find that he didn't feel physically exerted.

"So," the Master said at last, "Do you understand better now?"

"Yes… you've done terrible things. More and worse than I imagined. But… I think I understand how you came to think the way you did. There was nothing else for you. It was the most meaningful thing you could do—to assert yourself over whatever world and whatever people you came across. It's who you are."

"It's who I _was._ I've changed already, and I know I can go on changing. You believe that, don't you?"

Jack put his arm around the Master and moved closer again. "I believe you." He felt the Master stroking his face, smoothing his hair back, and he didn't flinch. "Are you pissed at me for wandering off?"

"No. I don't blame you for wanting to see. Actually I was sort of impressed. Turned on, even."

Jack smiled. "Okay." He stretched toward the Master and kissed his neck. "Good night."

The Master kissed Jack's face in return. "Good night, love."

* * *

><p>John pulled Gray close and burrowed his face into his hair.<p>

"So, when you asked me to stay with you, you didn't really say 'with' or 'by,'" Gray said lightly.

"Oh, I meant by, but it's up to you."

"Okay, that's… kind of what I thought. Slow is good."

"Mhm." John could feel an eager warmth collecting in his groin, but he ignored it. "I want this to be long-term. So I definitely want to know you better."

"You're fine with going fast if it's just a one-time thing?"

John frowned. "Sure… that's normal in our time." He wondered how much Gray had been aware of social interaction before his capture. He knew he had read up on it to some extent afterward. "I guess now that Dair's here I tend to group you with us more cultured people, but there's probably a lot you still don't know…"

"Yeah." Gray pressed his face against John's shoulder and reached over to hold his arm on the opposite side. "You know that girl you set me up with—Meredith?"

"I do. Good memory."

"Well, she was nice… and I liked her… but I really wasn't ready."

"Oh…" John twined his fingers through Gray's hair and rubbed his head.

"It's not your fault. I didn't want you to know."

"She liked you too, you know. She said you were sweet."

Gray laughed dryly. "That's as good as I could hope for, I guess. I was so damn nervous, and that kind of pissed me off. I wasn't even sure I could perform a second time, so I gave up. And I pretty much decided that however long I managed to live after that, I was going to be celibate."

"That bad, eh?"

"Pretty pathetic, right?"

"No… in retrospect, I should have given you more time. Sure, you had experience, but it was all the bad kind. And what they did to you would be enough to shake any man's confidence."

"I was thinking about those nanogenes. The Doctor said they can heal anything. They can re-grow missing parts and heal scar tissue, too."

"I figured there was a reason you asked." John quickly inventoried all the disfigurements he had seen on Gray's body. There were certainly a lot of them. "If you want to, I'm sure the Doctor will let you use them, too."

"I don't know. I hate being stared at and feeling like… like I'm not a whole person. But fixing it all won't take away the memories. I've gotten used to seeing the brand on my face in the mirror so much that it doesn't really remind me much. But I can still see the Reavers clearly almost every time I close my eyes. If it's not them, it's Jack and his team—the people I hurt and killed. Like you said, I have a good memory. And nanogenes can't heal that."

"I suppose not." He pulled Gray a little closer to whisper into his ear. "If it makes any difference, I'll support you completely if you want to use them. But you don't have to change on my account. I love you just as you are."

Gray turned his head to give John a warm kiss. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>The next morning, everyone divided into pairs: the Master with Dair, the Doctor with Simon, Jack with River, the Meddler with John and Jenny with Gray. The dividing into pairs took a long time—everyone wanted to be with someone in particular, and the Doctor had to keep explaining that someone in each pair had to be a Timelord or something close. The Meddler finally put it all down on paper and they worked out a system that satisfied everyone. Then the Doctor made sure each team had a communicator and sent them in different directions.<p>

It wasn't until after lunch that Jack and River encountered a barrier they couldn't get through. It was a small, oblong door that seemed to be made of metal. Jack touched it experimentally with the edge of his coat and nothing happened. He tried the handle, which turned, but the door would not open.

"Doesn't seem to be locked," Jack told River. "But something's keeping it shut…" He tried a little more force. The door budged, but would not open.

Suddenly a voice announced itself seemingly from close by: "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Jack turned quickly, very unnerved by the cold female voice. For a moment he wondered if River had gone off the deep end. But his companion merely looked puzzled.

"I can't hear her thoughts," River said in an almost complaining tone. "Where are you?"

"Better let the Doctor know about this." Jack lifted his VM to his mouth. "Doctor, this is Jack. Do you read me?"

After a moment, the Doctor's voice came back to them. "We hear you, Jack. What have you got?"

"We found a door Jade doesn't want us to open."

"You heard her?"

"Cold, female disembodied voice?"

"Don't move. Send me a homing signal and we'll find you."

A few minutes later, the Doctor and Simon joined them. The other parties were on their way.

"Ohhhh… this room," the Doctor said, stroking the door. "Why, I haven't been in this room since I was looking for tools when I first lost my notes on the operating system. I found a multi-quartiscope in there. Good lord, that was… I don't know, four or five hundred years ago."

Jack's eyes widened. "And I thought _I_ put off my spring cleaning…. So, what's in there?"

"Nothing. Well, nothing I remember. I found the quartiscope, and then I was off again. Don't remember much."

"What's blocking the door, then? Should we wait for the others?"

"I don't think so."

"Yes," River contradicted. Jack thought she looked nervous.

"What's wrong?" Simon asked her.

"It doesn't think for itself. I can't hear it thinking."

Then they all heard a quiet laugh.

"That's her, all right," the Doctor said grimly.

"Don't even try, Doctor," Jade's voice said. "If you don't like my presence now, you'll be truly horrified if you open this door."

"If you don't want me to do it, then it's exactly what I'm going to do!" he snapped.

"Please wait," River said. She was backing away, pulling Simon along by the arm.

"Wait for your precious friends? Those vulnerabilities of yours, Doctor? Just more playthings for me." Jade laughed again.

The Doctor tried the door again as the Master and Dair arrived. River immediately took charge of Dair, keeping a good hold on his hand. The Master joined the Doctor by the door.

"Is she in there?"

"If she is, she's unlike any sentient life form I ever heard of. River can't hear her thoughts, and it's got her pretty worried."

"Well, I'm not worried." The Master rattled the door handle experimentally.

"Koschei, my little champion—how you've grown," Jade crooned.

"Shut up." The Master threw his shoulder against the door and it opened a crack.

From the slight opening, a white substance began to pour, seeming to glow slightly. It fell like leaves or snow or tiny ping pong balls.

"Oh, Sepulchasm," the Master said, pushing Jack away from the door, and this time meaning it as an oath. "Everybody back. Back, now!" The six of them retreated as Jade's laughter filled the passage.

"What the hell is that stuff?" Jack asked as they ran.

But before anyone could answer, they ran into the Meddler and John.

"Turn around," the Doctor called to them. "Back the way you came. Hurry!"

They hurried on away from the ominous door, and after finding Jenny and Gray along the way, they continued on to the library, where the Doctor shut and barred the door.

"Are we safe here?" River asked the Doctor.

"I don't know," the Doctor admitted. He looked around at the others with the closest thing to a look of panic that Jack had ever seen on his face. "Oh, God, I'm not sure of anything anymore."

"We know what she is now," the Master said, sounding calmer than any of the rest of them seemed to feel. "The question is, how much has she fabricated? How much has she influenced our lives?"

"That would depend on how long she's been there, and from the look of it, it's a very long time."

"We know how long she's been there. She knows about Torvic. She's been in this TARDIS longer than you have, Doctor. I brought her here myself."

The Doctor put his head in his hands. "No, no, no. Everything… It's possible that none of this is real. None of you are real. You could all be figments of my imagination."

"What are you talking about?" Simon asked. "Of course we're all real—will you please explain what's in that room?"

The Master sighed and turned to answer. "Psychic pollen."

"And that is…?"

"It's not really pollen at all," the Doctor said mechanically, his tendency to spout information apparently overriding his distress for the time being. "It's a parasitic life form. Something like a plant, but having a very high intelligence coupled with high hallucinogenic properties. It puts you to sleep and feeds on the darkness of your mind."

"And that's what she did to you that night, after you killed Torvic," the Master concluded. "After you warmed her up under your pillow."

"Under my… but how did she get there?"

"You're not thinking, Doctor. It's the shock, I expect. The pollen was in the watch. It wouldn't take much. A few grains, or even just one seed would probably be enough. Maybe before you came along she had fun with Torvic, making him believe he was some sort of champion to bully us the way he did. Who knows. But then she had you. And she got you to take her to me. And she got me to put her in the Tardis, where she was waiting for you."

"She was silent so long after that," the Doctor said faintly. "Why? Unless I dreamt all the things that happened in those years. Why didn't she take over when I went in after those tools? I had Susan with me then, and Ian and Barbara—plenty of playthings for her."

"She's patient. She probably wanted to grow and spread a bit more first."

"Why didn't I see the infestation?"

"She manipulated you to find what you were after as quickly as possible and not see anything else."

"How do I know I'm not imagining that you're here? Perhaps I've imagined everything. Perhaps the pollen's kept me asleep for centuries…"

"No." The Master took the Doctor by the lapels. "Too much has happened that's beyond the scope of even your imagination, Doctor. She controls it, but she's feeding off things in your mind. There are things you've seen that you never could have dreamt up before you saw them. You used to tell me some of your dreams at school, remember? Barking mad, some of them, but nothing like the adventures you've had. You know you can't have done all those strange, mad, wonderful things just in your head. You've been in the bloody Time Matrix on Gallifrey, where everything's possible. And while you were in it, it seemed real, didn't it?"

The Doctor searched the Master's face. "Yes…"

"I have too, and it felt absolutely real. You knew for a fact that it wasn't, but when you were hurt in the Matrix, you truly felt the pain. And if you had died in there, you'd have died on the outside as well. But this here and now, this feels different, doesn't it? You can tell the difference. You're not dreaming. You're not under hypnosis. You're not having your consciousness altered by a parasite at the moment. You're with your friends, and we're going to beat her."

The Doctor slumped against the Master's shoulder. "I haven't been so scared since the Time War. Like I'm losing my world again."

"I know." The Master patted his back. "It'll be okay. Now, pull yourself together and let's figure out what to do."

* * *

><p><em>And there I'll leave you. Are you relieved to know where Jade came from? This was my idea—tying her appearance to psychic pollen—but maybe you saw it coming if you like the episode "Amy's Choice." Did I surprise you, or did you see it coming several chapters back? You had to know I was going to bring the watch back. :p I'd also like to know what you think of the pillow talk. I know it was a cheesy title... couldn't help it.<br>_


	49. Exterminate

_Only one review last time... I'm taking too long or getting boring or something. xp Hope you like this one._

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><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Forty-nine: Exterminate

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><p>"It makes sense for me to go," the Master said. "I'm the only one here that you knew before Jade found you."<p>

The Doctor nodded, staring at the floor.

"I'll take the Meddler with me. He might be of use. But I think the rest of you should stay here. Don't move. Doctor, you need to protect your mind." He stepped directly in front of the Doctor and hunched slightly to get into his gaze. "Do you understand?"

The Doctor blinked and looked up at him. "Yes… yes, of course. It's the only way." He handed his sonic screwdriver to the Master, went to one of the large armchairs, settled himself in it and closed his eyes.

"What's he doing?" Simon asked.

"Putting himself in a coma," the Master answered. "It will keep his imagination in stasis so Jade can't get hold of any new material to use against us. She's been acting through him all this time, so if he's out, she shouldn't be able to talk to us unless she releases him. And she'll be loathe to do that."

Already, the Doctor looked limp in his chair. Jack thought he had never seemed more helpless. "Is there anything we should do for him?"

The Master shook his head. "Don't touch him until I get back. Not under any circumstances. If he comes out of that coma too quickly there could be serious damage."

"Okay."

The Master put an arm around Jack and kissed him. "Be back soon. Hold the fort."

"Right." _With what?_ Jack wondered. How did you fight pollen? He tried to control his thoughts, but he couldn't help wondering if this wasn't the Master's cleverest plot yet—to make the Doctor lose all confidence in himself and hand over the sonic screwdriver and handling of the Tardis…

The Master went to Gray, who was standing awkwardly next to John, and took him by one shoulder. "It's going to be okay," he told him. Then he headed for the door. "Set, Meddler? Jenny, let's go."

Jenny was surprised, but she followed immediately.

"You're taking her?" Jack said, raising an eyebrow.

"The Doctor never would have agreed if I'd mentioned it before he went under. But this is what we played Eighth Man Bound for, isn't it? She's got a connection to the Tardis and she's more than half Timelord in my book. Now, I won't hear any arguing."

They slipped out of the room and closed the door. River barred it after them.

Slowly, without speaking, they congregated in the middle of the room and sat on the floor. They all wanted to help, but they all knew there was nothing they could do.

Jack watched the Doctor's face. At least he seemed peaceful in his dreamless sleep. He felt someone's hand on his knee and turned to find that John had settled close to him, with Gray leaning against his other side.

"He'll be all right," John said quietly. "At least she can't get to him like this, eh?"

"Yeah." Jack sighed. He put his arm around John and stroked Gray's hair. _We just have to wait. And wait._

* * *

><p>There was an odd little breeze blowing through the Tardis, and the Master doubted it had anything to do with the ventilation system. He thought he could hear whispers of Jade's voice, but he was sure she couldn't say anything new or form new plans through her ominous persona while the Doctor was inaccessible.<p>

He, Jenny and the Meddler hurried down the passages until they reached the control room and sealed themselves in. He ran to the scanner.

"We've got to get the feed from the monitoring cameras from that room. And that hall. See how far she's spread."

"What good will that do?" the Meddler asked. "We need a way to fight it without getting… infected, or whatever."

"I've already got a plan. Just need to see the target… ah." The scanner showed the pollen room… only there was no pollen. "An old trick, but an affective one."

"What is it?" asked Jenny.

"Closed circuit feed loop. Honestly, child's play."

"Glad you cleared that up," said the Meddler. "How do we fix it?"

The Master directed the sonic screwdriver at the scanner and quickly adjusted its settings. "Going to have the short circuit repair itself. Now, stop it," he said, not to the Meddler, but to the Tardis. "I know you've never liked me, and maybe with reason, but if we're going to keep him safe, you've got to work with me now. That's better."

In a few moments, the scanner showed the Master what he had asked it for. The small room was more than half full of pollen, banked against the walls like drifted snow.

"Good god," the Meddler gasped. "We need an exterminator…"

"Haz-mat suits at the least," the Master agreed. "But I've got something else in mind." He employed the sonic screwdriver again for a few minutes until he'd had a glimpse of all the rooms near Jade's HQ, as well as the hall outside. The hall was steadily taking on a frosty look. "Just as I thought. Growth in all other directions has ceased. She's out to find the Doctor. We've got to act quickly." He directed his attention to the console and cracked his knuckles. "Good job I decided to figure out a lot of the Doctor's codes to fix his chameleon circuit," he said. "Otherwise this would take a lot longer."

"What should I do?"

"Maintain stasis on the security of this room and the library, and the rooms I lock down, once I get them locked."

"Oh. Simple."

"The Tardis may put up a bit of a fight. She knows I'm trying to help the Doctor, but what I'm doing goes against a lot of protocols. And she's likely to be damaged in the process. It's like your body having a mild outbreak of a dangerous disease after an immunization—or more like an allergic reaction to medicine. She's got to fight it even though she knows it's for her own good."

The Meddler rolled his eyes. "We're not human—we can keep up."

"Sorry. The Doctor's rubbing off on me."

One by one, the Master overrode the Doctor's protocols.

"Aren't the controls isomorphic?"

"Only some of them. And even so, they can be coaxed… come on!" he snapped at the Tardis. "Behave. I know I'm not the Doctor, but you have to trust me. Jenny, put in this sequence."

The Master directed her, and Jenny entered the information he gave.

"It's working. The Tardis recognizes the Doctor's DNA in Jenny. Well done." Another barrier up. Another shield in place.

On the scanner, the Master could see that the pollen was slowly beginning to drift away from the new barrier in the hall and toward the rooms nearby.

"No you don't," he muttered. Another door closed, and another.

"What's this?" the Meddler said suddenly, frowning at the console readings. "Your commands are being rewritten…"

"That's Jade in the wiring of that room. Cut her off, and quick!"

The Meddler's hands flew over the controls. "I'll do my best…"

"It had better be good enough." Another door… _Just one more. Done! Now…_ He took a deep breath. "This is it. Get ready for a counter-attack."

"What are you doing?"

The Master ignored the question, his hands moving quickly to take his thoughts to the Tardis's heart. _You know this has to be done. And it will hurt, but you'll save him. I'm asking you this time, not forcing you. I won't take advantage of you again._

The flashing lights went from red to mauve and the Master looked back at the scanner in time to see a small explosion blow the pollen room's door off its hinges. Giant flames leapt up and up until the scanner was all a rippling yellow haze. Then it went white. The signal was gone.

The Master joined the Meddler in his task of fighting against Jade's attempts to release fire safety measures. It took all their combined mental agility to stave her off, but suddenly all was quiet.

"Is she gone?" Jenny asked in a whisper.

The Master watched the indicator lights fade through yellow to green, to pale blue. "Whether she is or not, we've done about all we can. Let's have a look, shall we?"

The Meddler looked hesitant.

"Oh, come on—you only live thirteen times," the Master said, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Not in your case," the Meddler snorted, but he followed the Master and Jenny to the back of the control room and waited while the barricade rose. The corridor was silent.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes had gone by before the group in the library got any indication that anything was happening. Then a trembling began in the walls and spread to the floor.<p>

Jack pulled John and Gray closer. He looked at the Doctor, who was still out and unaware of his shaking surroundings. _I won't let them die here._ He turned to look across the circle and met River's eyes. _How bad is this?_

River shook her head to indicate that she knew no more than he did. She let Simon hold her while she kept a firm grip on Dair's hand.

After just a few moments, the shaking stopped. Instead of feeling calmer, Jack felt his heart rate increasing. He began planning how he would slip out away from John and take up a defensive stance… but how exactly does one fight off a pollen-monster?

"Jack?" the Master's voice came from the other side of the door.

Forgetting his plan, Jack awkwardly extricated himself from the others and went to the door. "We're all okay—what happened?"

"I think we've got her, but I want you to come with me and have a look."

"Just me?"

"You're the only one who can't die."

"Right." _If Jade gave up on the Doctor, she could have attached herself to the Master's imagination and be impersonating him…_ Jack opened the door a crack and saw the Master, Jenny and the Meddler waiting in the hall. _Bar the door after me just in case,_ he told River mentally. When he closed it, he heard the bar sliding into place.

"We did a sort of emergency purge of that corridor and several rooms," the Master explained as they set out. "It's only used in extreme cases, and the Tardis didn't like it one bit, especially taking orders from me. But I think we reached an understanding."

_He sounds like the old Master—my Master. If not better. Jade couldn't do this._ Jack took the Master's hand and they continued in silence.

They reached the hallway where Jack had heard Jade's voice. A solid, metal-looking wall barred their way halfway down. The Master approached the barrier and put his hand on it.

"Open up, girl. Let us see." His voice sounded uncharacteristically gentle.

The barrier slid upward and disappeared, revealing the hall beyond: scorched, black walls, a little ash on the floor, a small pile of it by the door. It reminded Jack a little of the dalek dust he had found the first time he came back from the dead.

There was more ash in the room beyond—a lot more. But everything was black or dark grey in the blue glow of the sonic screwdriver and the wan light that fell through the door from the hall.

"She'll repair herself in time," the Master said quietly, stooping to poke around in the ash at the middle of the room. "But this was a battle hard-won. Let's check the other rooms."

In the other rooms and nearby passages, they found more devastation. Empty darkness. Not one spark of life to show that the pollen had survived.

"We should have River listen to the Tardis… make sure it's gone completely," Jack said.

"Right. Then I can wake the Doctor."

* * *

><p>The others kept their distance while the Master sat beside the Doctor, put his hands on the other Timelord's temples, and began to lead him back to consciousness.<p>

_It's safe, Doctor. It's only me. The danger's gone. She won't trouble you anymore._

_Koschei?_ the Doctor answered faintly.

_That's right. The Meddler and I have shoved Jade off for good. She's not coming back._

The Doctor opened his eyes. "Master. You did it."

"Don't get too happy just yet. I suspect there may yet be a remnant that we'll need to incinerate. And you haven't seen what I did to your Tardis."

"A remnant?"

The Master placed something in the Doctor's hands: the object he had found in the ash of Jade's lair.

The Doctor looked down and immediately recognized it. "Torvic's watch."

"Tight as a drum. There may be a living seed in there. Best to open it in the lab… or seal it up forever."

"It's a living thing…"

"It's a plant. It's semi-sentient, but always malicious. It can't be reasoned with. So help me, if you show it mercy, I'll—"

"Take it to the lab, then. Destroy it." The Doctor gave a long sigh. "I hope I never encounter psychic pollen again."

"You won't while I'm with you," the Master promised.

* * *

><p>"You are sure you wanted <em>me?<em>" John asked, not for the first time.

Jack sighed and fought the impulse to roll his eyes. "Things are going well with the Master, but I want to make sure I take it slow this time. Sleeping by you is… safe."

John snorted. "There's a first."

"I know it's a big change, but I trust you."

They were in Jack's room, the first time he'd spent the night there since returning to the Tardis. For some reason John's presence made it all right.

"You're not worried I'll give in to temptation?"

"I know how to overpower you."

"I've learnt more tricks when we were apart."

"So have I." Jack smiled in the dark. The familiar banter felt right. When he felt John's arm steal around him, he didn't feel at all uneasy.

"Notice the sparks flying when Jenny and the Meddler cross wires?"

"Ha, yes… the Doctor's not happy about it."

"I understand how he wants to hang onto his little girl, but she's more than ready to take care of herself. I think he should let her go for it. Besides, where else is the Meddler going to find a catch like her? Timelords don't grow on trees these days."

"Yeah. I think they make a nice pair." Jack found himself stroking John's hand. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not, but he decided it might be awkward if he stopped all of a sudden.

"What you think of Dair and River?"

"Listen to you, Yenta," Jack said, elbowing John in the ribs. "Got us all paired up?"

"Almost…" John sighed quietly.

Feeling the light mood slipping away, Jack fumbled for a new subject.

"Of course," John added, "I usually end up with the Doctor and Simon stuck together."

Jack laughed out loud. "Somehow I don't think that would work out…"

"The Doctor and the doctor… it would be funny."

"That's not reason enough for them to get together."

"No, s'pose not."

They fell silent. Jack wondered if John was falling asleep.

"Hey, remember that time we had the threesome with Henri and his mum came unexpectedly…"

"Yes!" Jack exclaimed. "Oh, my god, that was so awkward."

"And she wouldn't go, and she wouldn't go, and you could tell she didn't understand why _we_ wouldn't go…"

"Didn't she know he was gay?"

"Yeah, but she didn't know three was company to him… she'd have disapproved very strongly. Maybe we should have invited her to join…"

"At least that would have gotten her out of the apartment."

They both laughed.

"And it wasn't until what—after midnight, right?"

"Oh yeah, at least," Jack agreed.

"…that she finally said she had to get home and it was _late,_ looking at us like we needed to go home before we turned into pumpkins."

"Took forever to get back in the mood after that. Did she ever find out what was going on?"

"No, I don't think he ever told her."

"I forgot about Henri. Fun guy. He was so embarrassed."

"Yup." John gave a long sigh and snuggled against Jack. "You're the only one who remembers."

Jack pulled John's head against his shoulder and ran his hand through his sleek hair. It was true—he and John shared memories that no other living person had. _Dead friends._ He kissed John's forehead. "Good night, John."

* * *

><p>"Has he made a move on you?" the Master asked baldly.<p>

"No," Gray answered, sounding guarded.

"Do you _want_ him to?"

"No… not yet."

"So, what's the problem?"

Gray shifted a little and sighed. "For around a decade I was treated like a piece of property. A toy… a meal. Just a thing. I don't know what I want. I love John, but… I love my brother, too. And I'm not sure I know the difference."

"So, you're not in love with John—you just love him as a friend?"

"I don't know. I don't know if I could be in love with _anyone._ I'm not sure I know what that means."

"I think you're over-thinking it. You trust him?"

"Yes."

"You care for him?"

"Yes."

"You'd like to have a good time with him?"

"…Sure."

"So, let him in."

"It's not that simple." Gray rolled away, putting his back to the Master.

"It's normal for you to be scared of something new… but you know John loves you back, right?"

"Yeah… I'm sure he does. I just don't know what I want."

The Master reached out to rub Gray's shoulder. It was rough with many scars. "Just take your time. If something worries you, talk to him about it. I'm sure he'll understand."

"Maybe. I hope so." Gray lay on his back again and pulled the Master's hand onto his chest. "If everything goes well between you and Jack… you won't just leave, will you?"

"Of course not. I wouldn't take your brother way from you."

"We can always be near each other?"

"Definitely."

"Good." He rolled under the Master's arm and settled against him. "You're a good friend."

The Master caressed him absent-mindedly. _I am? I don't think anyone's ever told me that._

* * *

><p><em>Sorry it's a bit short, but please review. We're nearing the end now... not sure how many more chapters.<br>_


	50. Changes

_I've had a busy week helping a friend with Nanowrimo, so I'm surprised I got this much done. Here's a nice juicy long chapter for you. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Fifty: Changes

* * *

><p>"Now that we're out of danger," the Meddler told the Doctor, "I think it's time my TARDIS and I had our own adventures."<p>

"You're leaving?"

"Time to put to use what I've learnt from you and your companions."

Of course the Doctor had known they couldn't all stay together… but he had expected that he would be the one to break up the party. Instead, the _Serenity_ crew had left first, and now the Meddler. He sighed. "Well, I'm glad things turned out the way they did. I'm sure you can do a lot of good, wherever you go."

"I hope so. There's one thing, though. I'd like to try having a companion as you do. I've been alone far too long. Maybe if I had someone with me…"

"Someone to stop you," the Doctor murmured. He didn't like what he knew was coming. This was how it felt. This was what he had done to dozens of parents throughout his life. He had spirited away their children, promising to bring them back… and not always managing it properly. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment and then looked back at the Meddler. "Swear to me that you'll take care of her."

"I'll protect her with my life."

The Doctor nodded. He had expected no less; he just hoped it would be enough. "You've talked to her already, I suppose?"

"Yes… we agreed to make sure it was all right with you."

"All right. Give me a little time with her… you can round up the others to say goodbye."

* * *

><p>"Everything's a risk," Jenny said quietly. "Life is a risk. But it's a risk meant to be taken."<p>

The Doctor smiled at her sadly. "That's my girl." He hugged her tightly. "You know how to contact me, right?"

"Yes. The Meddler's shown me."

"And you can anytime—not just if something's… not just if you need me. Anytime."

"I know. It'll be fine." Jenny stepped back and smiled at him. "We'll visit before too long."

"And be sure to let me know if… if you make any major decisions. You know, just things like… not every-day things like what's for breakfast, but you know… life-changing, big things…"

Jenny raised one eyebrow. "You mean if he proposes?"

The Doctor felt his face fall. He hadn't wanted it to be said, and there it was. Now he couldn't pretend it would never happen. She'd already thought that it might.

"Oh, Dad…" Jenny hugged him again. "We don't even know each other that well yet. Just let us go and do this. Anyway, I won't accept any proposal unless it has your blessing. Okay?"

"Okay." He kissed her head. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too. Now, come on. They're waiting."

"One more thing… I want you to have this." The Doctor pressed Torvic's watch into her hand. "Pollen's all gone now. No danger. But I don't want it lying about reminding me… and it might come in useful one day. I mean, I hope you wouldn't need to use it, but you never know."

"Right. You never do. Thanks."

They went outside where everyone else was standing around the Meddler, wishing him luck. Everyone gave them warm farewells… though the Master and Gray hung back from the Meddler a bit, and Dair was his usual antisocial self to everyone.

"I hope we see you all again soon," the Meddler said. "For now, though goodbye, and safe journeys."

The Doctor caught John looking at the departing pair and exchanging a meaningful look with Jack. Jack smirked and elbowed John.

_They all knew this was coming,_ the Doctor thought. _I shouldn't have tried to stop it. I should know better._

* * *

><p>Jack and Gray stayed outside after the others went back into the Tardis. The afternoon was warm. Jack took his coat off and carried it over his arm. Gray seemed not to notice the heat.<p>

"How've you been?" Jack ventured.

"Okay."

"Is there something on your mind?"

Gray shrugged. "Always is."

Jack looked around and saw a place where the land dipped down and sparse grass managed to grow. "Let's go sit down there," he suggested.

Gray followed Jack to the hillside. When they sat down, they could just see the top of the Tardis above the hillcrest. They looked over the dull landscape in silence for a while. In the distance there was a pond or lake, and Jack saw some sort of bird flying over it.

"I wanted to ask you about something," Gray said at last. "But it's… I don't know."

"It's okay. We can talk about anything."

Gray twisted some grass around his fingers and pulled it up. "I want to know how you tell when you're in love with someone."

Jack's first thought was, _Yes! He's making progress. Bonding time._ His second thought was, _Crap, how the heck do I explain this?_ "When they fill your thoughts," he said slowly. "When you want to pour everything you have, everything you are, into making sure that they're safe and happy. You respect that person, and you want to please them. When you have all that and you're getting it in return, then you know you're in love." _Way to be eloquent on the fly, Captain,_ he congratulated himself.

Gray pulled up more grass, his expression not lightening. "Then I think I might have a problem."

"You have to give it time," Jack said quickly. "It doesn't always happen right away."

"No, that's not my problem. Maybe I could love John that way. I don't know. But everything you just said… that's how I feel about you."

Jack felt like someone had poured ice-water down his back. _And I thought I did such a good job._ "Oh… uh…" _Dammit!_

"I keep thinking of how wrong I was, and how I want to fix it." More of the grass which had been ferociously clinging to life suddenly met its end in Gray's hand. "I know I can't undo it, but I know I could do better. I want to do it right."

_Oh, no… think of something to say before he digs this any deeper._ "Gray… maybe I didn't explain so well… I wasn't thinking about how you tell the difference between a friend and a lover. Family is different."

Gray turned his face away and picked grass on the other side. "I know it's hard for you to trust me. I just want a chance. I'm sure I can make you happy."

Jack suddenly found a lump in his throat, and his eyes were stinging. "You do make me happy just by being here; that's all I need. It's enough that you're my brother. I never wanted any more than that."

"You know, they made it legal back in our time…"

"I know. But I don't think they should have. There are some lines you don't cross." Jack started to reach toward his brother, but he pulled his hand back. Too awkward.

"I don't understand." Gray's face was growing red now; Jack pretended not to notice.

_I never thought much about this before… family was always family, and romance was romance. Clear-cut. _Gray's absence from civilization for years, his exposure to a savage way of life where the only boundaries were physical weaknesses… how could he understand this?

Damning the consequences, Jack put his arms around Gray. "I love you, Gray. You will always be precious to me. It's just that you're too important for that. We're brothers… that's how it should stay. It's a tough road for us anyway, without making our relationship physical. I think we would lose something… something we can't get back."

Gray leaned against him and rested his head on Jack's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay…" Jack reached up to stroke Gray's face and brushed away the tears he found there.

"I'm just so confused. I wanted to show you… how sorry I am. How much I love you."

"I know. It's okay. I know you're trying so hard. I already forgave you for what happened, though. You don't have to make up for anything. We'll just make new memories and move on."

Gray couldn't talk anymore. He cried into Jack's shirt and whispered his name.

Jack didn't know how long he held him and tried to console him, but finally the tears stopped and they sat in silence as they had when they first went to the hill.

"I'm going to need your help," Gray said in a low voice. "I don't know what's okay. I don't know what I'm allowed to do and what's not okay for brothers."

Jack gave him a squeeze. "Okay. We'll work on it. Don't worry about messing up a little now and then. It'll be fine."

* * *

><p>The Master watched the Doctor fiddling with things on the console. "Where are we going next?"<p>

"Don't know. The Tardis isn't usually content to sit still for this long."

"Hm." He looked over the Doctor's shoulder. "Maybe she's just resting. Healing up the burnt rooms."

"Yes, that could be it."

"Not sick, is she?"

"Don't think so. Just… idling."

"Maybe it's not time to move yet. You feeling restless?"

"A bit," the Doctor admitted. "Feels like time to go on."

"Well, I'm sure something will happen soon."

As if on cue, John strode into the control room. "Jack and Gray still outside?" he asked.

"Yes," the Doctor answered, glancing at the scanner. He could just see the back of his friends' heads over the hill. "Think we should leave them be for now. I'm going to, um…" he trailed off. "To do some straightening up," he said at last. "Parts of the Tardis are in quite a state."

The Master watched him go and then turned his attention to the scanner. "John, are you in love with Gray?"

"I don't know. I love him."

"Are you in love with Jack?"

"Hardly matters. Jack doesn't want me."

"You think it's fair to Gray to go on with him when you're still in love with his brother?"

John sat on the two-person seat across from the console and drew one leg up onto it. "I think I'm capable of loving Gray, too. I can't help loving Jack—I've accepted that. I used to think I could get rid of it some way, or drown it out with something else. Now I know I'll love him till I die, but that doesn't mean I can't be in love with Gray."

"Perhaps not." The Master saw that Jack and Gray were starting to look restless, like they might leave off talking and come back soon. "Does it bother you to see him with me?"

"His happiness makes me happy," John said a little tritely, the Master thought. "But if you're asking does it twist my insides and make me want to scream and cry buckets and kill myself, then yes."

"I thought it might. If you go on like this, it may drive you mad."

"Bit late," John laughed. "Think I'm already there."

"They're coming back. Maybe you should whisk Gray out of here so you're not forced to observe Jack and me."

"Maybe I'll do that."

* * *

><p>When they returned to the Tardis, the Master and John were waiting in the control room. It didn't take John long to spirit Gray away, leaving Jack with his lover.<p>

The Master waited a while in silence before asking, "How's things?"

"Okay, I think."

"Making progress?"

Jack leaned on the Tardis's console, looking tired. "Got a lot of insight. I guess that's good."

"Mm. Good." The Master went to stand beside Jack and put an arm around him. "So, we need to talk."

"We do?" Jack put an arm around the Master. "What's up?"

"Well, I love you very much."

"Good. Good start."

"And I want our relationship to last forever, or as long as my regenerations hold out."

"Okay… and?"

The Master cleared his throat. "But before we completely dedicate ourselves, we'll need to be apart for a while."

"We will?" Jack tightened his grip slightly. "Why?"

"Because I'm in love with someone else, and I think you are, too."

Jack froze for an instant and then pushed the Master back so he could see his face. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. Think about it."

"You're in love with someone else?"

"Yes. And you are, too."

"But… you mean…?" _Is my crush on the Doctor that obvious? Okay, yeah, it probably is._

"I think the sooner you two quit playing games and admit you're in love, the better off you'll both be."

Jack looked uncharacteristically shy. "He doesn't want me."

"Don't be ridiculous—he's only pretending. Anyone can see he's actually desperate for you."

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No… really? I think you're wrong." _I can't see the Doctor being "desperate for" anyone._

"I'm certain I'm right."

"But then who are you in love with—not the same person?" Jack remembered the dominating, almost predatory way the Master had spoken to the Doctor and imagined it in a sexual context. It was possible, he decided.

"No, no. I mean, he's great and all, but I don't think I could _live_ with him. Never be his lover."

"So that leaves you with…?"

The Master nodded encouragingly.

_John? It has to be… I guess the two of them did get along well… in a strange way. And they've already slept together. But still. _"Honestly? But that's so… I don't know. What about Gray?"

"What about him?"

"Well, you'd be breaking them up."

"Sure, but you would anyway. Don't worry; I'll take care of him."

"Wait… I'm confused. Who were you talking about?"

"John."

"For me, or for you?"

"For you."

"For me?!" There went all of Jack's theories. "John and I are through. We were done a long time ago!"

"It's not over for him. He's pining for you really pathetically…. Who did you think I meant?"

Jack ignored the question, not wanting to admit how hopeful he had been that the Master had seen some desire in the Doctor that he had missed. "So, wait… that leaves you with…?"

"Gray."

Jack was shocked. "Gray? You're in love with my brother? When did that happen?"

"Sorry, it sort of sneaked up on me, too. But it's so different—the way he makes me feel. Like I want to build him a strong shelter, be the castle walls round him. It feels good."

"Does he love you?"

"I think so. Though he hasn't said so."

Jack ran his hands through his hair. "I don't believe this. This is crazy. You swear you're not making this up?"

"I'm not. Jack, John's never going to stop waiting for you. Don't you think you're being a bit cruel? He's not such a young thing now—can't you give him a few years of your immortality?"

"Is he leading Gray on, then?"

"No, I don't think so. He's giving that an honest try, and he and Gray might be somewhat happy together. But he's always going to want you."

"And you're okay with that—putting me on loan to John for years?"

"I'll have Gray. I'll be all right."

Jack stepped back, feeling distraught. He turned away from the Master. "Oh, my god," he said exasperatedly. "You and Gray."

"Jack…"

"And you really expect me to just pick up where I left off with John? I've moved on."

"He's different now. Give him a chance."

Jack turned back around abruptly. "Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"And you love Gray."

"Yes. As someone pointed out to me recently, I'll love you until I die, but that doesn't mean I can't love Gray, too. Gray and John have only one lifetime. I want us to spend it with them and then we have the rest of forever to be together."

"I need to sit down."

The Master helped Jack to the seat where John had been a few minutes before and sat beside him.

"You don't even know Gray that well, do you?"

"He's slept by me quite a few times now. We've talked a lot. I like helping him."

"Really?" was all Jack could think of to say. He felt cheated, somehow. Gray was his brother—he shouldn't have to go to someone else to talk his problems out.

The Master reached out to him. "Come here, love."

Jack surrendered to the Master's embrace. Nothing made sense anymore. He felt the Master kissing his neck and rubbing his back and it was comforting, but his head was still reeling.

"I love you. It'll be okay. Just trust me," the Master told him soothingly.

_Take John back? There's too much… too much baggage between us._ "Look, let me… talk to Gray about this. If he loves you, then I… I'll give my approval."

"Talk to John first."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't want to leave him without someone—he'll likely kill himself this time."

"No, he wouldn't."

The Master raised one eyebrow. "You sure about that? I think you've got so used to him always being there, always trailing after you, that you don't think anything could make him quit. But he's broken… I think he's close to shattering."

Jack felt a lump forming in his throat. "But that's why I can't do it. If I give him another chance and it doesn't work out, it'll kill him."

"You love him, don't you? Make it work." The Master sounded a little sterner now.

"I… let's figure Gray out first. If he wants to stay with John, then this is moot anyway. He's so confused right now. When we were talking out there, he told me he doesn't know what the difference is between the way he loves me and the way he loves John."

"I'll straighten him out. He'll know the difference."

Jack looked the Master in the eye. "You be careful of him. I don't think he's ready for you."

"Relax. I can be gentle. You should see how careful I am. Really, though… let me talk to him first, get him ready for the idea, and then you can talk to him."

"You promise to be careful of him?"

"I promise."

* * *

><p>"How are you getting on with Jack?" the Master asked casually.<p>

"Okay," Gray answered, casting his eyes over the bookshelves. He had read everything in the Doctor's library, and he knew most of the books by heart after just one reading. But he kept hoping there was something else here that might help him.

"Anything wrong? Come on, you can talk to me."

Gray sighed. "I don't think I know how to love."

"Oh, I'm sure you do, though. It's clear you love Jack. Anyone can see how much you want to put things right with him."

"Maybe… but if I love John, it should be different, right? I don't think I can love him more than I love Jack."

"You don't have to. Here, come sit down."

Gray let the Master lead him to sit in a couple of the Doctor's comfortable chairs.

"Now," the Master began, "I've seen many different species in my time. Some sentient, some not. But the vast majority of them had this in common: they don't mate their siblings. I suspect it's some sort of instinct that protects them from bad recessive genes cropping up in their offspring. For same-gender siblings, that wouldn't really matter, but they still have the instinct. Littermates are off-limits.

"Unfortunately, you spent the majority of your life in a society where you take first, ask questions later… or never, more likely. No one gives a damn who's related to who. All they care about is sex and killing and eating. Am I right?"

"Pretty much," Gray agreed.

"It's not that you've forgotten how to love, or that you won't love John the right way. It's that your instinct to go out and find a mate you're not related to has been stifled by your experience. It doesn't seem important to you now, but I think if you're back in society a while, it'll come back to you.

"Meanwhile, these instincts are very strong in Jack. It's always been a cruelty in his life that he hasn't had any family for long. Every time he has some familial bond, he clings to it desperately until it's ripped away from him. He wants so badly to be your brother and keep everything normal for once."

"So… there's no difference between brotherly love and romantic love?"

"Between you and me, no. Just sex." The Master smiled.

"Are you sure? I mean, you've never had a brother, have you?"

"No, but… I've had friends now. And made a lot of observations."

"Yeah." Gray turned the Master's words over in his mind. "Thanks. This helps."

The Master offered Gray his hand and they helped each other up. "Thanks for being my first human friend."

This surprised Gray slightly. _I guess he's not counting Jack because they were lovers first._ His expression lightened and he gave the Timelord a hug. He felt the Master's warm breath on his neck and he shivered. Then he felt a kiss at his temple and heard a soft whisper.

"I love you."

Something seemed to chill Gray and overheat him at the same time. _He's my friend… but he really loves me. And I don't feel this way with John. Damn._ For a long moment, he didn't know what to do. Then he remembered Jack. _The Master is Jack's lover. He just loves me as a friend._ He pulled away. "I… should go…" he tried to think of something he should be doing, and thought he made some excuse, but even he didn't understand what it was.

After stumbling aimlessly through the Tardis for a minute or two, Gray ran into Jack.

"Hey, what's up?" Jack asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I… I just talked to the Master. And it really helped at first, only… then it got confusing again." Gray couldn't look Jack in the eye.

"Why was it confusing?"

"Well… he…" _I can't explain. It'll just upset him. Either he'll be mad at the Master or me or both…_

"Do you love him?"

Gray felt his face getting hot. He stared at the floor, unable to answer.

"It's okay, Gray." Jack put his arms around Gray and held him firmly. "He already talked to me about it. If you love him, then it's okay."

"But… aren't you in love with him?" _Nothing makes sense anymore._

"Yes. But I've got all the time there is. I can wait. And I promise that as long as you and the Master are together, he won't be cheating on you with me. He's all yours."

"Are you serious?"

"Yup."

Gray heard a sob escape him. He squeezed Jack tightly. "Oh, my god… I can't believe this."

Jack laughed.

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry." Jack stroked Gray's hair. "I want you to be happy, and I think you will be. That's what matters."

"What about John? I can't just dump him."

"I'll talk to him."

"But he'll be so upset."

"Maybe not. I'll do my best."

Gray wasn't very reassured. "Really, though. I'm really worried about how he'll take this."

"I know. I understand, and I'll be careful."

* * *

><p>John looked up in surprise when Jack entered his room. "Hello… where's Gray?"<p>

"Probably back at the library. I need to talk to you."

"Okay…" _What did I do?_ John wondered. "Make yourself at home."

Jack went to sit on John's bed. "There are some things I need to tell you. First of all, Gray's in love with the Master."

"What?! That's ridiculous!"

"I thought so too, but it's true. And there's nothing we can do about it, so don't bother."

John's head was spinning. _That can't be right… he's having me on or something._

"So, that leaves you out, and me waiting Gray's lifetime to get the Master back."

"Oh… great." _I won't think about it. Damn it, I won't think about it. God, I hate myself._

"The thing is, I was so sure I was over you," Jack went on.

_Don't do this to me, Jack. What are you saying?_

"And I don't want to ruin this friendship we've built. I think things have been good between us, right?"

_What's the right answer here? Shit._ "Yeah..." John went to sit beside Jack. "What are you saying?"

"I wanted to move on because that part of my life was over. You never got over me, but you have tried to move on, and I haven't given you credit for that. And you've been hurting, and I'm sorry."

John didn't know what to say. He held his breath when Jack put his hand on his knee.

"If we tried again, I'd be so scared of breaking you," Jack said quietly. "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

_Go ahead. If it means I get you back, please hurt me._ "I don't think you need to worry," John told him. "It would be make or break this time. No going back."

"That's kind of what I'm afraid of." Jack took John's face in his hands and looked at him solemnly. "I would need you to swear something to me. I love you, and I know now that I want to be near you, whether we're lovers or just friends. I need you to swear that you won't leave if it doesn't work."

_He knows damn well that I'd blow my brains out, and he's trying to force me into an agreement where I can't. Blast him._ "I promise, Jack. If you won't leave me then I won't leave you, either." _I'll always want him, however I can get him. He's cursed me._

Then Jack was kissing him, and John closed his eyes to better take in the feeling. _Please don't be dreaming. Oh, god, I want this to be real._

Jack paused for breath. "Have you slowed down over the years?"

"Just savoring the moment," John murmured. "I'm afraid I'm about to wake up from another dream."

"Then I'd better convince you that you couldn't dream this." Jack slipped a hand under John's shirt.

"Slowly," John pleaded. "Just this once. I need to know it's real."

"Okay. Whatever you want, Tiger." Jack twined his fingers in John's hair and kissed him again, slow and deep.

John felt tears spring to his eyes. _It's happening. For real this time. I don't have to stop myself from thinking about Jack, because it is Jack. He's mine again._ "My Jack."

Jack paused, and for a moment John was afraid he'd ruined the moment. But then he resumed and it was all wonderful again.

"My John."

* * *

><p><em>I want to know if you're surprised, if you're disappointed, and how you think this plan will go. xp The story's not over yet, still a couple chapters to go, I think. A couple of loose ends to tie.<br>_


	51. Off Barcelona

_I hope this chapter isn't too hodge-podge... I'm trying to wrap things up fairly quickly without leaving out any of the elements I had planned. Thanks for bearing with me while I was busy. December is also a busy month, but we'll see what happens._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Fifty-one: Off Barcelona

* * *

><p>"Dair's been talking a lot more," Simon told the Doctor as the two of them observed Dair and River climbing trees in the Tardis's forest room. "He doesn't like talking when there are a lot of us around, but when it's just one or two people and he feels safe, he's okay."<p>

"What does he say?"

"We have to coax things out of him… we haven't asked much about the Reavers, but that leaves him with little to talk about. But River's been teaching him to read. I think he knew how a long time ago and it's starting to come back, because he's learning very quickly. He asks questions about what we're reading and tries to use the new words he learns."

"That's excellent."

"Yeah…" Simon leaned against one of the older trees and looked down at some unearthly moss on the floor. "I've been trying to convince River that we should go back to the _Serenity_ in a couple of days, but she wants to stay with Dair."

"Could you take him with you?" the Doctor suggested. If he had to lose more of his friends so quickly, maybe he could rid himself of a problem at the same time.

"I don't think Mal would like that. And I know Jayne would be a serious pain about it."

The Doctor's reflexes started to carry him forward before his brain processed what he was seeing. Dair had lost his footing on a branch and the slim one he'd been holding to steady himself snapped in his hand. But somehow River dropped instantly to hang by her knees from the branch she'd been standing on above him, caught Dair's wrist and held him until he found a secure perch again. The Doctor halted and let his breath out slowly, trembling a little with unused adrenaline.

"You know," Simon said, his voice making it clear that he had had a similar reaction, "it's hard to get used to, but I really think River doesn't need me anymore. She wants me around, but she really can take care of herself."

"I know the feeling. Letting Jenny go was hard, but I knew she was ready."

"On top of taking care of herself, I think she can take care of anyone else she's with," Simon added. "She's her old self again, but she's still as deadly as ever."

"What do you think, then? Have a last hurrah with us, and then start off on your own? Maybe go back to your parents?"

"Maybe. Some good people in the Alliance are working on getting our arrest warrants countermanded. Once that's done, we should be safe. We'll have a lot of catching up to do… I wonder if they'll even want us back."

"Oh, of course they will," the Doctor said, turning toward Simon to reassure him. "Sure, you've been the Alliance's top two wanted for what—a year or more? But you're still their children. They'll understand."

River hit the ground lightly and laughed when Dair landed a bit more heavily beside her. "Time to go," she said.

Simon gave her a long-suffering look. "Go where?"

"Off-planet."

"Says who? You?"

"The Tardis."

The Doctor looked up and saw that the tree branches were rustling quietly. This was more than the carbon dioxide ventilation system coming on. This was the herbalistic senses of the trees receiving a message from the Tardis. New ground to be found.

"Yes, it would seem she's right. Let's gather everyone in the control room."

* * *

><p>"Finally," the Master said, rubbing his hands—Rubbing them on Gray's arms, that is. "We get to get off this unsightly planet with its ridiculous dogs and more ridiculous people…"<p>

"It's not so bad," Jack protested, stalwartly ignoring John, who was plastered against his side and nuzzling his neck. "We just came in an off-season."

The Doctor looked from one couple to the other. "Er… did I… miss something?"

"Yes," the Master and Jack said together.

"Well…" He continued to stare for a moment, then decided it was best not to ask questions. "Good. Now, we've got someplace to go, but don't ask me where it is."

"Why not?" asked Simon.

"Because I don't know. But that's all right. Jack, slip the destination into neutral. Master, leave the temporal variant wide open. I'll engage the safety and we'll be off…"

"What's 'the safety'?"

"You wouldn't understand if I told you. But what it does is it keeps us from falling out of time and it keeps us from going nowhere, and it keeps us out of black holes, and lots of other… stuff."

"This is why I never ask for explanations," John murmured against Jack's neck.

"River, adjust that thingamy—exactly. I'll take a dozen like you. And we're off."

The Tardis sounded different with many people piloting—quieter, less panicky, but also less excited. Then they stopped.

"That seemed like a short trip," Jack commented.

The Doctor nodded. "Either we didn't get very far, or…"

"She knew where she was going," River finished.

"Exactly." He turned to look at the scanner.

They appeared to be in the middle of a bustling city.

"Last one outside is a baby Adipose," said Jack.

"Wait a minute," the Doctor said, but no one listened. Grumbling, he followed the others out the door. "Too many companions," he muttered in conclusion.

"Ohhh, look!" John exclaimed, pointing.

The Doctor saw a signpost with many signs pointing in many directions: Diamond pool, Pearl pool, Sapphire pool…

"Poosh!"

"What?" asked Gray.

"Poosh," the Doctor repeated. "We are on the Found Moon of Poosh. Also known as Poosh Four, the moon that was stolen ages ago and then found and returned by yours truly."

"Poosh," Gray repeated, as if he didn't believe anything could possibly have that name.

"Poosh. Good ol' lost and found Poosh. Wonder why we're here."

"Because we're tourists," John said, taking Jack's hand and tugging him away from the others. "Let's go, let's go!"

Jack laughed. "I've got my VM—call if you need me."

"Ciao," John added.

"So, Poosh is a tourist trap?" asked Simon.

"Of sorts. Better, though. I'd like to retire here," the Doctor said. "It's got the best swimming pools in the universe. There's every theme you could imagine."

"What if you don't care for swimming?" asked the Master.

"You love swimming."

"Of course I do… but what about people who don't?"

"There are shops and restaurants and amusement parks and theaters—they're on the other side, though. You'd have to take a shuttle."

"Money?"

"Figure it out."

"All right, then I will."

"But there must be a _reason_ we're here," the Doctor said suspiciously, looking around. "I mean, she never just decides to give us a vacation. Whenever I leave it up to her, she takes me someplace dangerous."

"Maybe it's not about you this time." The Master winked and took Gray by the arm. "Come on, love. Let's explore."

The Doctor watched them walk away. "Okay…" he turned to the others. "What shall we do, then?"

"Swim?" River suggested.

"Ever swum in jello?"

River grinned.

* * *

><p>"How did you know I didn't want to swim?" Gray asked as he and the Master rode the shuttle toward the other side of the moon.<p>

"Intuition. Anyway, it's hard to have a good conversation in the middle of a noisy pool. I thought we should find someplace quiet. You approve?"

Gray nodded.

"Good. Leave everything to me."

The Master had little trouble finding his way to a quiet do-it-yourself entertainment house. There was an arcade, a karaoke bar, a "love lounge" and a secluded tea room. He chose the last of these, ordered a pot of tea and settled with Gray on a mound of cushions behind the low table.

"How's this?"

"Nice," Gray answered. He leaned back to nestle against the Master's chest.

The Master put one arm around Gray and kissed his head. "I guess it seems strange the way things have changed."

"Yes. But I think it's what I wanted all along. I just didn't realize it until now."

"Me too. Actually, a few months ago, I had no idea I could love at all, let alone so many people or so strongly." He gave Gray a squeeze. "Tell me if this is too much."

"It's fine. I'm just so…" Gray trembled.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I'm just… happy, I guess."

The Master laughed nervously. "Well, I hope the tea calms you down a bit. You seem quite worked up."

The tea did seem to help. The two of them melted into the pile of cushions, warm and content.

"Feeling better?" the Master asked lazily.

"Yes."

The Master moved his hand over Gray's chest, lightly massaging and caressing him through his shirt.

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Okay."

"It's… it has to do with all of these scars."

"Mhm." The Master found the brand on Gray's throat and kissed the place where it touched the side of his face. "What about them?"

"Let me tell you about when John found me."

* * *

><p>"You're safe now. Nothing will hurt you here."<p>

"No?" Gray quirked an eyebrow at John.

"Nothing new, I mean," John amended. "I left off giving you pain killers because I was afraid you'd never wake up. I put your shoulder back in its socket while you were out—it'll be black and blue for a while. And I stopped all your bleeding, which took some doing. But I still need to get you to hospital. I'm not sure the extent of your internal injuries, and there are a couple of things I can't manage on my own. Gave you a blood transfusion, but that's the extent of my skill."

"Blood transfusion?"

"You lost too much blood, so I put someone else's in you."

"Why do I need a hospital?"

"Because I'm not a surgeon, and I want everything done right so Jack doesn't kill me. The sooner we go, the better."

Gray tried to sit up and groaned. "I can't move."

"Don't worry. I'll move you."

One vortex manipulator journey later, John had Gray on a gurney in an emergency room. Gray heard John talking to distinctly non-human orderlies.

"POW, just been rescued. We did what we could for him in the field and on the way here…"

Gray closed his eyes. He felt sick. There was too much light, too many people, too much noise…. Then he felt John's hand on his arm.

"I can't leave him. He has severe PTSD. He needs me by him at all times or he panics."

For some reason, the hospital staff didn't seem to speak on a frequency Gray could pick up. He was sure they were speaking, but it was all just noise like rushing water. Only John's voice was understandable. Then he heard a sound he recognized—a gun being prepped to fire.

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear. He's my comrade, he needs me, he panics without me, I'm his next of kin, I'm his priest, I'm pope, this is _MY_ hospital, and I'M. STAYING. WITH. HIM. Any questions?"

Apparently there were no questions, because there was no more talking until they were in another room with a little less noise, fewer voices, but more urgent ones. Someone stabbed his arm inside the elbow. Gray flinched, but he felt John's hand at the side of his face, stroking his cheek gently.

"It's okay," John told him quietly. "They're going to help you."

He was reassured until he felt the robe John had supplied him with being pulled away. He jerked away from the invasive hands (or whatever they were) and struck out at them.

"Wait, he's not ready for this," John barked. "Give me a moment."

The unwanted touch stopped. It was just John's hands now, rubbing his arm, smoothing his hair back. "Gray, I swear to god these people won't hurt you. I wouldn't let them if they tried. But they need to see the extent of the damage so they can fix you. It won't be pleasant, but it's for your own good. I won't leave you for a moment, I promise. Understand?"

Gray took John's hand. "Just don't leave. Don't let go."

"I won't."

Wisely, the doctor's next move was to give Gray a tranquilizer. All through the next frightening few minutes, John was there, keeping him distracted with gentle fingers, soft words…. Gray could almost completely shut out the invasion of his body. He had learned how to ignore the pain and fear, but his instincts still told him he should be screaming. The sooner and the louder you screamed, the sooner the Reavers were satisfied and moved on to torturing someone else. But whenever a noise escaped him, John increased his efforts to soothe him.

"It's okay. I know you don't like this, but it's got to be done. They're making scans and figuring out what's wrong. Once they know what to fix they'll put you out for a while and you'll wake up better."

Gray flinched and clutched at John's hand, his nails digging into the skin. He wanted to tell them all to get away, but his reason held out.

"Yes, something tore him up pretty badly there," John told the doctor. "With its teeth, if you ask me. Took a while to stop the bleeding. Can you save it?"

Gray made an effort to hear the response, to make sense of the noise. He made out one word.

"Doubtful."

"Do what you can."

* * *

><p>"So, you woke up one testicle lighter," the Master concluded. Gray had begun to tremble again. "I can see why you'd want to tell me before we got in too deep, but it doesn't worry me if it doesn't worry you."<p>

"Are you sure about that? I was thinking about using the nanogenes… they could fix it."

"They could, yes. If you want to do that then go ahead, but only if you want to." He kissed Gray's temple. "It's all right. Whatever you want. And if you just want to fix that and not all your scars and everything, I think I could program the nanogenes…"

Gray rolled over and kissed the Master, holding on to him tightly.

The Master grinned when they came apart. "Anyway, I'd say it balances out in the end. You've got one of something most blokes have two of. I've got two of something most blokes have one of."

"Hearts?"

The Master chuckled. "Yes… that's it. But actually, there's something else I ought to tell you about…"

* * *

><p>"I bloody love Poosh. Why are you blue?"<p>

"Glad you like it," the Doctor answered John, looking over the time agent's light sunburn. "We are blue because we ventured into the blue raspberry jello pool."

"Jello!" John turned to Jack. "You didn't say there was jello."

"This is my first time too," Jack retorted. "I don't know where everything is." He looked over at the Master and Gray. "You two sure warmed up fast."

"Yes, well…" the Master glanced down at the young man in his arms. "We had the _best_ conversation about parts."

"Parts?"

"Yup."

"Something tells me you're not talking about mechanics," the Doctor muttered.

"Well, biomechanics."

"Come on, everyone back into the Tardis before I get sick."

"We're not going, are we?" John asked, sounding near panic.

"No, no. Just… getting some sleep like decent folk. You can go back out tomorrow."

"How did you pay for things?" River asked Gray curiously.

"The Master hypnotized people and got them to pay for us," Gray answered.

"I'd have paid if I had money," the Master put in. "But the Doctor told me to figure it out for myself, and that's how I made do. Sue me."

"Someone should," said the Doctor. He shooed the others inside and closed the doors. He took a deep breath.

_We're not just on vacation. I can smell something in the air. The Tardis wants to leave again soon, but we're here for a reason…_

The Doctor looked around the control room. The others had filtered through to the back of the Tardis, but Jack remained, leaning against the frame of the doorway.

"Why are we here, Jack?"

"I had no idea at first," Jack answered, pushing off the door frame with his shoulder and walking toward the Doctor. "But now I think I know. You said you wanted to retire here, right?"

"Yes… but I'm not about to retire now."

"Right. But it's a great place for a top-class bachelor party, joining ceremony and honeymoon. Don't you think?"

"I suppose so…"

"So, now that the Master, John, Gray and I have things figured out, this is the best place to be. Right?"

"You want to 'settle down'? You?"

"Funny, isn't it? Although, I think it's funnier that the Master does."

"Are you sure? That's really what you want?"

Jack was right in front of him now. The Doctor could just feel his friend's breath on his face.

"There's only one thing that would make me want to leave." Jack took the Doctor's hand lightly and looked him in the eye. "Do you want me with you? Just one word and I'm yours. You know it's always been that way. But once John and I are joined, I'll be his as long as he lives."

The Doctor felt his face getting hot. He steeled himself. _I won't become emotional. I know what I have to do. Oh, hell._ He seized Jack and squeezed him hard. "I can't, Jack. I'm sorry."

"You can't? That's different from saying you don't want to."

"The way things are now, things have been set in motion—I can't jeopardize any particular in my future. I'm supposed to do things, things have to happen…" _Lord, I'm babbling a lot._ "Simon and River have to be born, they have to grow up the way that they did so they'll be there to help us when we need them. And I've got to marry River Song. And if I form a permanent relationship with you, then I can't do that."

Jack embraced the Doctor and stroked his messy hair—messier than usual from swimming in jello. "Okay, easy. Breathe. You're convinced that Simon and River are your grandchildren, then?"

"It's the theory that makes the most sense. I don't know when; I don't know how. But I know something starting right now—no. Wait. Sorry, that's the Little Mermaid. But anyway, I've got to see this through before I do anything long-term. Do you understand?"

"How do you know that you have to marry River Song?"

"I just know."

"Do you even like her?"

"A bit. I will more later, apparently."

Jack squeezed harder. "Okay… well, I'm going to live a long, long time. And I'm not giving up this idea. Got it?"

"Mhm." The Doctor turned his head to the side and rested it on Jack's shoulder. He felt a kiss on the back of his neck and shivered, despite feeling overheated.

"I love you more than anything."

The Doctor closed his eyes. "I love you."

"Sleep by me tonight."

"Shouldn't you be with John?"

"No funny business, I promise. I just… want to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?"

Jack moved back to make eye contact, keeping his arms around the Doctor's neck. "I think tomorrow you should take Simon, River and Dair on a nice adventure. While you're gone, we'll have the bachelor party of the century. You can come back in time for the joining and be the best man. I mean, unless you want to go to the bachelor party, 'cause you're welcome, but somehow I don't think you'd like it."

The Doctor managed a smile. "Probably not. I'll see what the others think."

* * *

><p>"You were right," the Doctor told Jack that night as he let his friend encapsulate him. "River does want to keep Dair with her. And Simon doesn't seem to mind him anymore. In fact, I think he likes studying him."<p>

"He's got to be related to you… a brilliant Doctor with an open mind and strong loyalty…" Jack gave the Doctor a fond squeeze and kissed his forehead. "I bet you guys will have a lot of fun."

"Maybe so. But who's going to keep you lot from going mad while I'm gone?"

"Gray's pretty grounded. He'll keep it real."

"I guess so."

"Thank you, by the way. You've done so much for me."

"I'm happy to help."

"I know." Jack turned onto his side and let his hand trail over the Doctor's chest.

"Careful," the Doctor admonished.

"Sorry." Jack parked his hand over the Doctor's left heart. "I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything. I love being with you and I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you, too. You've really been great." The Doctor put his hand over Jack's and moved his thumb up and down the long fingers. He hadn't realized how tired he was—that last jello pool must have taken a lot out of him. In any case, the next thing he knew, Jack was waking him with a gentle caress.

* * *

><p>The dust hadn't settled yet when John clapped his hands together. "Well. That's the Tardis gone—what do we do first?"<p>

"I arranged it all last night," the Master answered. "We've got a top-of-the-line weekend ahead of us. The best bachelor party money can buy, and we don't even have to pay for it. We happen to be the winners of the Quintannual Foursome Drawing."

"You entered a drawing?" Gray asked.

"There is no such drawing, darling. Keep up."

"You used hypnosis again," Jack surmised.

"Precisely. It's all taken care of."

"You gotta stop doing that. I don't want a con man for a brother-in-law."

"Says the man who used to be a con man."

"Sticks and stones," John interrupted. "Where are we going?"

"It's called the 'Now Gentlemen.' We're expected. No luggage necessary—there will be every outfit imaginable at our disposal—much like the Doctor's wardrobe. Only with some more risqué items, I expect."

John rubbed his hands gleefully. "Lead on."

Deverill, a young man with dark hair and an eyebrow piercing, greeted them in the lobby and showed them to their spacious quarters.

"The first event is luncheon, which you may enjoy here or in the main hall," Deverill informed them.

"Let's have it in the main hall," said Jack. "Once things heat up, we may not be able to drag ourselves out of our rooms."

Deverill smiled pleasantly. "Luncheon in the main hall is semi-formal. There is a menu on the table by your communicator with instructions for ordering. Once you have placed your orders, I recommend that you try the baths and relax until the food is ready."

"Do you ever get invited to join your patrons' activities?" asked John, fingering a highly-polished bedpost.

"All the attendants and servers at the Now Gentlemen are trained escorts," Deverill replied. "Your wishes are our commands."

John turned a ravenous look on Jack.

Jack stifled a laugh. "We'll keep that in mind; thank you."

When Deverill had left the room, John jumped onto the bed. "This is fabulous," he said.

"Our rooms are all in a line, but they have separating doors," the Master observed. "We can mix and match as we please."

"You and Gray get your baths first," said Jack. "Something tells me John and I will be taking our time." He snatched the menu from the table in the middle of the room. "In the meantime, we'll choose something to eat."

"You know what I like," the Master said, taking Gray's hand and leading him toward the bathroom.

Jack glanced at John when they were alone. "Do you know Gray's taste? I figure it's changed since we were kids…"

"Pretty much anything edible," John supplied. "When you're used to the stuff Reavers give you, anything looks good."

"Good point. He was allergic to shellfish, though… at least the ones we had on the peninsula."

"Just order us all tenderloin with a couple different sauces on the side and we'll all find some way we like to eat it."

"The Master does like meat," Jack agreed. "I'll make sure his is rare."

John slid the closet doors open and looked around. "Good lord…" He poked his head in and looked down along the rows of clothing. "Hey, it goes on forever. Joins with the other bedroom down there. Cool." He stepped inside and began rummaging around. "Semi-formal… hmm. Argyle cravat—that's something you don't see every day. Silver-white blouse, argyle cravat, black vest and jacket… and Improv jeans. Oh, yes." He dropped his Napoleonic jacket on the floor and began trying things on.

"We're expected at our table in an hour," Jack said, coming up behind John and slipping his arms around him. "So don't take too long primping, okay?"

"I won't. But you may not want to get out of the tub."

Jack pulled John closer, pressing his face into John's neck and running his hands over his body. "I think I can save the best for later. But I'll give you a nice preview."

* * *

><p><em>Yes, I intend to give you more bachelor party next time. No, that's not the last of the sexual tension you'll see between Jack and the Doctor. Yes, you must review. ^^<br>_


	52. Bachelor Party

_I know it's really soon... this chapter moved very quickly. It'll probably make for a quick read too. ;)  
><em>

_Warning: I know I've given plenty of warnings in the past, but seriously—if you have any innocence left at this point, you may want to skip this chapter._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel <strong>

Fifty-two: Bachelor Party

* * *

><p>The Master let Gray take his time adjusting to him. He was delighted when Gray allowed him to join him in the spacious tub. They each went about their own business, talking with minimal awkwardness. It was gratifying to be trusted.<p>

The Master leaned back against the side of the tub and sighed. "I want to do this every day."

"You'll turn into a prune."

"I don't care. It's so relaxing. Come to think of it, prunes do seem very relaxed."

Gray laughed. Then he stared down at the bubbly water. "It's been a long time since I did much laughing. It feels kind of weird."

"You'll get used to it again. Laughing is fun. I was getting really good at my villain laugh for a while there. I'll demonstrate for you sometime."

"Okay… you sound kind of crazy sometimes, you know?"

"Good to know I fit in."

Gray shifted toward the Master, half crawling and half paddling. He settled in the hollow under the Master's arm, their hips and sides pressing together.

The Master let his arm slide off the side of the tub and he ran his fingers over Gray's shoulder. The soapy water made his skin slick in contrast with the rough scars. "Are you happy?"

"I think so… I feel pretty content. Safer than I have for a long time."

"I'm glad." He leaned down to kiss Gray's shoulder. He could taste the bath water; it was warm and sweet and a little soapy. "I love you."

"I love you, too."Gray leaned back and closed his eyes "I'm kind of nervous."

"About the intimacy?"

"Yeah. Sort of. I'm not afraid of it. I just want it to be good. I've had so much utter shit…"

"I know. You don't have to worry. We can do whatever you want—or not do what you don't want to do, if that fits better. Think of this weekend as a practice round. Play around, figure out where your comfort zone is, and we'll go from there."

"Okay. I'll give it a shot."

As they dried off and donned luxurious bathrobes Gray said, "One thing I've been nervous about is that I've never penetrated another guy. I kind of want to try, but I'm not sure."

"Nothing wrong with not being sure," the Master said quickly. "I can tell you that it's an intense experience. And that if you do want to try it, you've got a willing test subject." He winked. "But really, only go as far as you're comfortable going."

"Okay."

Gray offered the Master a hug. He accepted and felt himself pressing through thick plushy layers before his body was met with any resistance.

"Lord, robe soft enough for you?"

"Seriously." Gray laid his face against the Master's neck. "I want to be with you forever."

"Nothing will take you away from me."

* * *

><p>Lunch was the best thing John had tasted in years. He enjoyed watching the little native Poosh band with their blue-tinted skin and ten-fingered hands. He knew his face lit up when Deverill came to take their dessert orders.<p>

_Look at those gorgeous dark eyes… that piercing suits him so nicely… can he be dessert?_

"John," Jack said, snapping his fingers in front of John's face. "We decided on cheesecake. What kind do you want?"

"Chocolate… no, cherry," he said, scrambling to rejoin the conversation.

"We have a chocolate cherry variety," Deverill supplied helpfully.

"Perfect." John flashed him a smile.

When he was gone, Jack leaned over and whispered "How about a little Deverill food cake to go with that?"

"I can't help it," John whined.

"We're together two days and you're already after someone else."

"It's not like that. You know I just get cravings."

"I know, I know. It's okay. I like him too."

John relaxed. "Good."

After dessert, the four friends received deep tissue massages while watching a classic Poosh-made movie.

"What am I even watching?" Gray asked about halfway through.

"The main Poosh guy is in love with that Clom girl," the Master supplied. "But I think her brother is in love with him."

"What's the Clom boy's name?" asked John.

"I forget. Something long and hard to pronounce."

"So, did Poosh Boy forget that he was sleeping with the hall girl at the beginning?" aksed Jack. "Because he's all angsty over everything else, but he seems to have forgotten all about her."

John shrugged. "It's a Poosh original film… what do you expect?"

"But wait…" Gray watched in silence a little longer. "There—he's worrying about getting pregnant now. What's up with that?"

John opened a brochure and glanced over it. "Um, says here that Pooshites are born male, female or both. Corrective surgery can turn a both into either male or female, or a male or female into a both, but a complete change from male to female or vice versa is forbidden."

"Weird."

"Culture difference, that's all." John dropped the brochure and closed his eyes as his masseuse's ten-fingered hands worked magic on his tense muscles.

"I wonder if a male that's been made a both through surgery can carry young," the Master mused.

"You might just ask one of us," the Master's masseuse put in.

"Oh, good point. So, is it possible?"

"Yes. You see, it isn't just a simple surgical procedure. Actual organs are grown from the subject's stem cells and engineered DNA. Poosh has succeeded in changing a few individuals of other species into 'boths' as well."

"Humans, for instance?"

"Humans were among the first successes. About a hundred humans have it done every year."

"How long is a year on Poosh in terms of New Earth time?" asked Jack.

"Roughly one hundred-forty days."

"Oh, that's so sad," John exclaimed, eyes fixed on the screen again. "He's going to marry that Clom girl who barely likes him and her brother's going to be heartbroken…"

"Many Poosh movies have unhappy endings. We believe it makes people more grateful for the things they take for granted."

"Interesting philosophy," said Jack.

As John predicted, the protagonist ended up joined to the girl from Clom. The girl's brother left the planet in search of a new life. When the credits had finished, Deverill came back to update them on their schedule.

"Tonight's dinner will be formal. There is an exotic dance prepared for you. Do you prefer male or female dancers, or both?"

"Both," Jack and John said together.

"Works for me," said the Master. "Gray?"

"That's fine," Gray agreed.

"Human, Pooshite, other?"

"Let's go with humans and mixed humans," Jack suggested. "Don't want to add too many new factors at once."

Deverill made a note on a tablet. "After your meal in the formal dining room, the adjoining lounge will be at your disposal, as will any of the dancers you invite to stay."

"Will you be in the performance?" John asked baldly.

"I can certainly participate if you wish me to."

"Please do."

Jack smiled and shook his head.

Deverill set a pamphlet on the table in front of the Master. "Here is a list of activities to be conducted tomorrow. If you see any you like, you may check them off and return the list to me at dinner."

The Master propped himself up on his elbows and looked the list over. "Looks like some attractive possibilities. We'll give them consideration."

When they were alone, the towel-wrapped friends grouped around the list.

"Zorse riding? Seriously?" said Gray.

"Water polo, city tour," John read, making his way down the list. "Laser tag, sex workshop… there's a sex workshop."

Jack shrugged. "Some people aren't informed. Sounds like a good idea for a bachelor party."

"There are two tracks," the Master noted. "Beginner and advanced. That sounds promising."

"We can always split up for some of these," said John. "We won't have time to do everything, and some of us may want to do things at conflicting times. Oh, look. You can get a makeover. Jack, let's get you a makeover. I really want to try putting you in makeup and regency clothes. Please?"

"We could just do that in our room," Jack pointed out.

"Great idea! Thanks." John hugged him.

"Wait… I didn't say I _wanted_ to. I just meant that we didn't have to… oh, never mind. Fine."

* * *

><p>Jack was admiring his tuxedo in the mirror when John stepped into view behind him. Their outfits were identical except that Jack's had a cummerbund and no vest, and John's vest and jacket were spangled with rhinestones.<p>

"Oh, the boys are back," Jack said, grinning at the reflection.

"You know it. Can't wait to see the others." John slipped his arms around Jack and kissed his neck. "You look delicious. I want to eat you up."

"Not yet; you'll spoil your dinner."

The Master and Gray came in a moment later. The Master wore a grey tuxedo with long coattails. Gray's suit was more conservative: charcoal grey with a light bronze vest and necktie.

"You two are adorable," John crooned.

"This feels weird," said Gray, fingering the hem of his silk jacket in distraction.

"You'll get used to it."

"That's what she said," said Jack.

"What…?" Gray asked, confused.

"Twenty-first century humor. Don't worry about it."

They made their way to the formal dining room where they were seated at the only table in the middle of the room. A small band played slow, pulsing music from a platform in the corner. Once they had placed their orders, Deverill emerged from behind the black curtain in front of them.

The young man was dressed in a smoky black tuxedo that tapered to show his form. His short hair was slicked to the side and the stud in his eyebrow glinted in the spotlight centered on him.

"Good evening, gentlemen. It is my honor to present to you the Now Gentlemen's top dancers performing for you tonight to the Pooshite Passion's original hits. If at any time during the performance you wish to participate or to remove a dancer from the act, feel free to do so. Anything you need can be brought by your server. Please enjoy the performance."

Jack and John clapped enthusiastically and the others followed their lead. The curtain rose to reveal eight or ten more staff, all dressed to kill.

Jack quickly sorted the dancers in his mind. _Hot. Great legs. Nice moves. Sweet rack. Nice butt. The rest… meh._ He glanced at John and knew that his partner was doing the exact same thing—probably with similar results. "Which one do you like best?"

"Deverill."

"Figures."

"He's not spectacular in any one area, but he just makes a nice whole. Good figure, very nice eyes, excellent taste in wardrobe, decent moves and endless charm."

Jack nodded. "He's a nice package all right. How about the purple pixie-cut girl with the assets to spare?"

"Mm, good choice. You could get lost in her."

The dancers pulsed around the room, climbing the poles placed for their use, removing articles of clothing slowly and seductively, and interacting with each other in a way that made Jack want to forget all about dinner. But then their food arrived and he was distracted for the time being.

"So, do you do this kind of thing much?" the Master asked over his meal. "You two seem pretty at ease with this."

"Oh, we used to binge on strip clubs now and then," John boasted.

"It was a phase," said Jack.

"It was a nice, long phase." John smiled serenely.

"It seems…" Gray started.

The Master turned toward him and took his hand. "What is it?"

"I don't know. It doesn't seem right. We don't know these people. Why should we let our hormones run away with us over them when we really want each other?"

"It's a bachelor party. You're supposed to be a bit naughty," John explained. "And anyway, sometimes it's fun to add other people to the mix. Jack's the one I love, but he knows that and he's fine with my mixing it up with someone else now and then—likes it in fact."

"It's true," Jack confessed. "Something about it… I wouldn't want to add someone else permanently—I can only handle one serious relationship at a time. But this kind of thing is a fun turn-on. It's not for everyone."

"This weekend is for exploration," said the Master. "You may find you don't like this sort of activity, so we'll know to avoid it in future. Then again, you may find you really do like it. Either way, it'll be fine." He gave Gray's hand a squeeze. "Okay?"

"Okay." Gray resumed his meal, seeming reassured.

Once John finished eating, he stood and extended his hand toward Deverill. The attractive escort wasted no time circling over to John and pivoting into his arms. Jack watched entranced as John moved with the beat of the music, rocking Deverill back and forth, working his hands over that slim frame, slipping his fingers up under the silk vest…

Jack tore his eyes away to see that the Master was receiving some flirty attention from the busty girl with the pixie hair. _Too much hotness going on._ He could feel the excitement starting to buzz in his lower regions. He got up and worked his way over to the girl with the killer legs covered in black fishnet. He slipped his arms around her and felt her solo moves melt into a perfect imitation of his own. He pulled her against his chest and closed his eyes. He moved, she moved. Shoulders, chest, hips, feet; it didn't matter how he moved—she followed exactly.

"You're very good at this," he told her.

"You should see my other skills."

"I think you're right; I should. What's your name?"

"I'm Rina. And for the record, you're good, too."

"Thank you. I try."

Jack let his right hand slip down to Rina's hip, a move that would get him slapped on some dance floors. Rina responded by moving closer, resting her pelvis against his thigh—an open invitation in almost any culture. Their movements became smaller, tighter.

He crouched slightly to get his arm around the dancer's backside and lifted her off the floor. He settled her crotch on his hip and was rewarded by her leg chaffing against his groin. She was removing his tie. She was kissing his face. He was unfastening her top. Kissing her neck. Caressing her leg.

Her fingers had worked under his shirt now. The two-heart sensitivity was driving him mad. He set her gently back on the floor and pulled her top away. He planted kisses under her collarbone and worked his way down. His tongue darted out to tease her nipple and he found that she had been prepared with some sweet-tasting concoction. _Definitely having my dessert and eating it too._

When she groaned in pleasure he felt a tingling between his legs. He leaned in to suck hard and felt her fingers slipping down over his pelvis. Then she gripped him firmly and it took all his resolve to hold back. He kissed her lips gently before probing her mouth. She kissed him back with equal passion. He felt her hand leave off to slip around and grip a handful in back; then she was pulling him into her, their hips grinding together. He tilted his pelvis forward and she rose to meet him.

Before he knew it, Jack was relieving Rina of her short skirt and she was helping him on with a condom she had produced from the hem of her fishnet hose. He had no clue what his companions were up to and he didn't care. For a few blissful moments he was alone with this girl in the dim room with the music pulsing around them and Rina pulsing around him. He buried his face in her neck and whispered her name as he spilled out inside her. They stopped moving. They were floating on a dark cloud of music. He clung to her, worried for a moment that he might lose his balance in this drifting state. Then his head began to cool, he found he could tell up from down again, and Rina's hands resumed their movement—sliding over his chest through a thin sheen of sweat now.

"Thank you so much," he whispered. "You're wonderful."

She laid a kiss next to his ear. "My pleasure, Jack. I'm honored you chose me."

When he had gotten his vest back on and was gathering his jacket and tie, Jack felt John's hand come down heavily on his shoulder.

"All right, sexy. To the lounge. Now."

Jack grinned as his lover took him by the hand and led him toward the adjoining room, Deverill in tow.

* * *

><p>Gray felt apprehensive as he joined the Master and Katya, the purple-haired girl, on a plushy mat in the lounge. He could still hear the slow, heavy music drifting in from the other room. He saw John lead Jack and Deverill into the room, determination clear in his eyes.<p>

_They seem comfortable… not nervous at all. They're excited to be here doing this._ He swallowed and tried to keep his breathing calm. _The Master's between me and her… I'll just stay over here and it will be fine._

The Master turned toward him and stroked his face. "Is this okay, Gray?" he asked gently. "I don't need to do this. It can just be you and me if you want."

Gray stole a glance at Katya and saw that she was smiling sweetly. _So different… there's nothing predatory in her. She's just trying to give us a nice time._ "It's okay," he decided. "You can go ahead."

"Thank you, sweetheart." The Master gave him a kiss before turning back to the escort, still holding Gray's hand. "So, how do you like it?"

"Pick your pleasure," she replied. "I can do just about anything."

"That's what I like to hear. Undress for me?"

Katya winked. "Give me a tough one next time." She pulled her sleeveless top off over her head and slowly unclasped her front-fastening bra.

Gray felt his face growing warm. He had seen unimaginable things in his captivity—things that made him angry and sorrowful and frightened—but he didn't know how to react to this. Katya revealed her large breasts to the Master as if she were eager to share a special secret with him, as if they were trusted friends. When he touched her he seemed like a king accepting his crown and scepter, reveling in the power over this loyal subject. Gray didn't know whether he wanted to be part of this exchange, to pull the Master away from her, or just to watch.

His concepts of innocence and wickedness were hard at war with one another—when all her clothes were stripped away, Katya seemed vulnerable, and Gray felt an inexplicable desire to protect her. And yet, it was Katya who had put herself in this position, luring the Master in like a siren planning to drown a sailor.

The Master's jacket had been cast aside long ago, and now his vest and tie hit the floor. Katya pushed his shirt buttons through their holes one by one and then pressed her ample bosom against his bare chest. He brought their mouths together and ran his hands up and down Katya's body.

Gray took a quick glance across the room and looked away again just as quickly. John had Deverill's legs hooked over his shoulders, and Jack was pressed against him from behind. He knew that image would likely be burned into his memory for far too long. He turned his attention back to his lover to take his mind off it.

The Master had shed the last of his clothing. He was straddling Katya and fondling her breasts, inching forward until her tongue could reach him…

Gray felt like his groin was on fire. He wanted to shut out what he was seeing, but he couldn't stop staring. Katya seemed so confident as her lips and tongue went to work. She seemed to be genuinely enjoying it. He slipped his jacket off to deal with the sudden heat.

"Just so you know," the Master grunted, "you're likely to be in for a surprise here…"

Gray reached out before he realized his brain had told his arm to move. His hand landed on the Master's thigh and gripped him firmly.

The Master looked up, surprised but not disturbed. He pulled Gray closer and kissed him deeply. "I love you."

Gray found himself pulling the Master off Katya and pushing him onto his back on the mat. He kissed him again, urgently wrestling the Master's tongue with his own. He felt his tie being loosened and he pulled it off impatiently before resuming the kiss. His heart was pounding. When the Master began unbuttoning his vest and shirt, he expected the usual panic; instead he felt eagerness. _Hurry. I need you._

He slipped his hand down to the slick mess of the Master's lubrication and Katya's saliva. _She doesn't get this before I do._ He closed his fingers and worked his hand up and down, gratified to hear sighs of pleasure. He felt the Master's mouth moving across his chest, a hand slipping down into his pants, pausing to ask permission. Gray's answer was to squeeze harder, to move faster. Finally the burning was being satisfied. He felt the emergence in his hand and something like an electric shock pulsed through his body. He moaned and seemed to explode, everything turning white for an instant.

_Where the hell am I?_ he wondered hazily. He could still sense the Master's hand on him, flexing slowly to draw out the bliss. He followed the example, his fingers sluggish and sticky. He felt a kiss on his ear and then heard the Master's whisper.

"I love you so much."

Gray kissed the Master's chest and laid his head there for a moment, listening to the staccato of the aroused double heartbeat.

"Hey, don't stay there," the Master warned. "You'll get your face stuck to my chest."

Remembering their discussion on sexual differences between Timelords and humans, Gray shifted to the side and lay beside the Master instead of on him. He saw Katya looking on with an admiring smile.

"Sorry I interrupted you," Gray said, feeling the color returning to his face.

"Oh, not at all," she answered. "This is your special time together. And anyway, I enjoyed watching you two. It's cool to see people so in love."

"Thank you." He closed his eyes. "I think I might fall asleep now."

"Me too," said the Master. "Thanks for a lovely time, Katya. I hope we'll see you again soon."

"I'm sure you will." Katya gathered her clothes. "You two have a great night," she said before leaving the room.

"Master?"

"Mhm."

"I think that's the first time I've really, truly enjoyed sex. Thank you for sharing it with me."

The Master put an arm around Gray and gave him a squeeze. "You're more than welcome."

"You're not disappointed that I cut in?"

"Disappointed? Not in the least. It was great. I saw a new side of you and I love it."

Gray thought that over. "I saw a new side of me, too…"

"Were you jealous?"

"I think so. I've never been jealous like that before, though. I don't know—it was confusing."

"Well, don't worry about it right now. We can talk about it in the morning. Good night, love."

"Good night, Master. I love you."

* * *

><p><em>This has to be the juiciest lemon I've written so far. I tried very hard to keep character development at the core so it wasn't just gratuitous smut, and I tried to keep childish slang out of it (it annoys me to death when I see "cum" and "dick" in stories—grow up, people) while still not being 100% explicit. It's a bigger turn-on to be given almost all the details instead of all the details. Lets your imagination play around a little. That's what I think, anyway. So yeah... I put a lot of work into this chapter, so please leave a review and no flames—I gave you ample warning.<br>_

_Oh, and you're allowed to laugh at the word "Pooshite." I did. xD  
><em>


	53. Sexy and Kinky

_Warning: if you get disturbed by abuse than skip the italicized portion. It gets a bit explicit. If you get disturbed by serious kinkiness, skip to the end of the chapter when you start to feel queasy. Everyone else: enjoy! :p_ _To be honest, the kinky part is mainly fan service, but I hope it also shows some relationship growth._

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Fifty-three: Sexy and Kinky

* * *

><p>"John and I are going to go kick some ass at water polo," Jack told the Master and Gray. "You guys want to come?"<p>

"Nah, we'll find something else to do," the Master said. "You have fun."

Gray felt relieved. Team games were not something he had much enthusiasm for, nor was swimming. "Could we just hang out here?" he asked.

"You don't fancy zorse riding? How about one of those sex workshops?"

"Uh… no. Discussing intercourse in a group setting? You've got to be kidding."

John tossed a towel over his shoulder. "Well, we're off. You two have a good time while we're gone." He flashed his eyebrows at the Master.

"Get your mind out of my gutter," the Master told him.

Jack laughed. "See you later."

The Master flopped over on Jack's bed once the door was closed. "So. What you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"You have something in mind, don't you?"

"Well…" Gray hesitated. _How should I say it? How will he take it?_ "I was wondering if we could get Katya to come up here."

"Oh?" The Master propped himself up, looking curious.

"I don't want to go to the workshop where there'll be lots of people," he explained quickly, "but she seemed really experienced, so I thought maybe I could ask her a couple of questions, you know?"

"I see…"

"If I could just talk to her alone a little bit… would that be okay?"

"Sure. I'll go get coffee or something."

"It wouldn't take long, I don't think."

"I'll call the desk and have them send her up."

"Thanks." Some of Gray's tension ebbed away. _That wasn't too bad… he took it the right way._

When Katya came in, the Master excused himself.

"Thank you for coming," Gray said. "I have a question or two for you, if that's all right."

"It's perfectly all right," Katya said graciously. "I'm glad to help in any way that I can."

"Thanks. Make yourself at home."

Katya climbed onto Jack's bed and curled her legs under her. "What would you like to know?"

Gray leaned on the edge of John's bed, staring at the floor. "You probably noticed last night that I'm not the most confident lover."

"I did… I wondered if it was because of your scars."

"Well, they don't help, but that's not the main reason. See, I… I was raped. Many times."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'm used to being dominated and treated like property. I hate it… but I don't know how to be dominant. But last night you seemed really sure of yourself—even when you were flat on your back, you were still confident and not worried."

Katya stretched out and lay on her side, leaning on one elbow. "I guess it's partly experience, partly know-how… I know I have good moves in my arsenal and the situation here is very controlled. I have no reason to worry and every reason to be confident. And just because you're not on top doesn't mean you have no control. You should try to find out what your lover really wants and then control the pace of his getting it. That way you can call the shots, even from underneath him."

"So, what kind of moves should I have? Last night, what you were doing with your mouth…"

"That's commonly known as a blow job. You're not familiar with it?"

"I'm _too_ familiar with it… my rapists had me on both ends of it and they weren't gentle. I hated both."

"A bad experience can take a long, long time to get over. But I think you have a good shot because you love and trust your partner."

"It took me a while just to let people touch me."

"But you did. You're resilient." Katya smiled encouragingly. "If you like, I can demonstrate some technique for you, or we can wait until your partner comes back."

Exposing himself to someone he barely knew was not an attractive idea to Gray. "Let's wait for him."

"All right. Does he have much experience giving blow jobs?"

"Um… I don't think so."

"That's fine; I can teach you both. So, are you attracted to both sexes or just males?"

"Both, I think… it depends. I'm not as easily attracted to either as most people are, though—due to my bad experience."

"That's understandable."

"How about you?"

"I definitely prefer guys, but I'll do either."

"Is it weird sleeping with a lot of different partners?"

Katya kicked her feet up behind her and moved them lazily back and forth. "You get used to it. Not to say it ever gets boring. It does make things a little strange with my serious relationships. A lot of people exclusively have sex with just the person or people they're in love with and keep everything else platonic. Since sex is my work, I kind of have things reversed. When I'm in love with someone, I put off sleeping with them until we've already established our relationship. It takes a lot of patience, but it's worth it."

"Are you with someone now? If you don't mind telling me…"

"It's fine. There is a guy I've been seeing. We're still figuring things out. It can be a little confusing, but it's a fun journey. How did you and your guy meet?"

Gray half-smiled. "I'm not sure how to explain it… and I'm not sure if you'd believe me."

"Oh, sounds like a good story."

"Well… basically, we were both prisoners on the same ship. For very different reasons. Gradually we earned our freedom. The Master was a big help to me. I could always talk to him when I needed someone to listen."

"Do you always call him 'the Master?'"

"We all do—not because we're his servants, though. That's just what he goes by. They do things differently on his planet. I guess when they graduate university or whatever, they choose a title."

"That's neat. I like learning about different cultures."

The Master announced himself with a knock at the door and entered bearing a tray of insulated coffee cups. "Anyone want some? This one's caramel mocha, this one's choco-latte, and this one's… I forget."

Katya sat up and took the mystery cup off the tray to sniff it. "That's vanilla frappuccino. One of the best."

"Oh, yes. I think I'll have that one, if it's all the same to you. Gray, what'll you have?"

"Chocolate."

"That leaves caramel for you, my dear," the Master said, handing out the cups. "How anyone can just drink plain black coffee with no flavoring is beyond me. I mean, why would you do that when you could have so much fun with it?"

"I agree," said Katya, holding up her cup in a toast. "Coffee is more than a caffeine hit. It's an indulgence of elegance."

"Hear, hear." The Master took a swig. "So… how's things?"

"Fine. We were discussing techniques and such—thought we might have a demonstration after coffee. You don't mind dropping your pants for us, do you?"

"Not in the slightest."

Gray gulped his coffee. The cup trembled slightly in his hand. _Stay calm._ How could they just say things like that so casually? He set the cup aside when he had drunk half his coffee, reasoning that more might upset his stomach at this point.

"Blow jobs are a great alternative to anal sex," Katya was saying matter-of-factly. "It gives you heat and wetness and some incredible sensations. I've tried anal and it's no walk in the park. It can be amazing, but you definitely don't want to do that all the time. So adding some skill here will serve you well."

_Oh, god… let's just say it all and get all the awkwardness out of the way…_

Gray managed to keep under control when Katya began her demonstration—but keeping under control meant he could barely talk. He kept most of his responses limited to nodding. Something about seeing the girl's mouth on his lover turned him on and made him angry at the same time. _This is jealousy, isn't it? Damn it, I asked for this. What am I supposed to do?_

"Swallowing the ejaculate saves you the trouble of a major mess, but it's optional. If you don't like doing that, you can always stop short and finish with your hand. Do you want to give it a try now?"

"Um…"

The Master produced a handkerchief and cleaned himself up a bit. "You don't have to," he said calmly. "Only if you think you're ready."

"I can leave you two alone," Katya suggested.

Gray kept his eyes on the floor. "That would probably be better."

"No problem." Katya stood and gave the Master a light kiss.

"As far as you're concerned, I'm just a normal human," the Master told her, and Gray could tell after witnessing it a few times that he was using hypnosis on her.

"Of course you are. I haven't noticed anything unusual." She turned to Gray and offered him a hug. "Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you, okay?"

"Okay…" Gray hugged her back a little stiffly. "Thank you."

"So," the Master said as soon as the door closed. He sprawled back on the bed leaving absolutely nothing to Gray's imagination.

Gray swallowed and blinked rapidly, as if it would take away the intensity of the sight before him.

"Like I said… you don't have to do anything. But it'll probably be a while yet before the others get back. And I'm all yours for the taking."

_How do they act so confident all the time…?_ Gray forced himself to move forward. _He's right—this is a good opportunity to try some stuff out. If I don't take it I'll probably regret it when we're alone more._ He climbed onto the bed beside the Master, taking a few long, steadying breaths. He leaned over to kiss him slowly, tasting the Master's lips and working his tongue between them.

The Master kept very still and let Gray control the kiss. When Gray unfastened his collar, the Timelord responded by reaching up to copy the gesture, matching his lover's pace as the buttons were released one by one.

_This is good. Nice and relaxed. _Gray moved his lips over the Master's chin and neck. He hadn't shaved that morning, so the surface was a little rough; Gray found that he liked that. When his mouth reached the Master's chest he felt shivers running through the skin and he liked that, too.

He let the Master help him off with his shirt and continued to work his way lower, pausing now and then to explore with his tongue as well as his lips. He laid his hands on the Master's hips and moved his fingers slowly, hearing a moan in response. Gray could feel warmth and hardness arriving now; he was tempted to hurry, but managed to keep his advancement slow. _I'm almost there. I can do this._

By the time he got there he had a full erection to work with. Gray tried to remember what Katya had shown them, but it was hard to concentrate. The Master's lubrication tasted slightly sweet—humans, he was quite sure, always tasted salty. As he made his way along the shaft the sounds he heard told him he was doing something right, whether he was very good or not.

Just as he was closing his mouth over the tip, Gray felt fingers working through his hair, rubbing his scalp. A flood of memories rushed up around him, threatening to drown him: rough hands holding him in a vice-like grip, a penis shoved into his mouth, choking him…

Gray jerked backward and landed in a heap on the floor. He drew his legs up quickly and buried his face in his arms. _They're not here. It's a bad dream. God, I want to go home._

"Gray? Gray, can you hear me?"

He could hear, but he didn't want to answer. He wanted everything to go away.

"_Gray, it's the Master. No one's going to hurt you."_

He relaxed slightly and realized he'd been curled up so rigidly that his muscles had begun to ache. He lifted his head to see the Master crouched beside him on the floor.

"Are you okay, love? It's only me."

Gray found that he was shaking so hard it was difficult to draw a breath. He put his arms around the Master and clung to him. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine… what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong."

The Master kissed Gray's head and rubbed his back. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I…" Gray trembled hard. "I don't think I can."

"Okay. In that case, can you let me in to see for myself?"

"You don't want to see for yourself. I don't want you to see."

"You know I can help you calm down. I can help you forget this."

Gray recalled the times the Master had pushed his nightmares away. They were still in his mind somewhere, but deep in storage where they couldn't surface easily. _I don't want him to see what they did to me… but he's right. I know he can take care of it._ He sighed heavily."Okay."

_For a few moments, Gray relived the hell of Reaver captivity. Someone was pinning his arms behind him, someone was holding his head—one hand gripped his jaw tightly and the other worked its way into his hair and pulled so hard he wondered if his scalp would be torn away. The third Reaver's genitals hung in Gray's face, the hand on his jaw forcing him to allow entrance into his mouth. Though their language was primitive, he knew they were telling him to get to work, to give pleasure to his torturer._

I can't do it,_ he thought in panic. _I want this out of my mouth. Make it stop. Jack, where are you? Don't let them do this!

_He knew better than to bite. He'd seen what happened to people who tried that. Although, getting raped to death couldn't be much worse than this._

_The unsatisfied Reaver was fast becoming angry. Since the response he wanted seemed unlikely to come, even under dire threats, he took the boy's head in his hands and thrust forward hard. Gray gagged when the invasion hit the back of his throat, but the hands held him in place. He couldn't pull away. He couldn't scream. He might have thrown up if he'd had anything to eat that day._

_Then the choking thrusts receded, the painful pull on his hair lessened, the grip on his arms relaxed. Someone was pulling him away, wrapping his battered body in something soft and clean, touching his face gently and whispering to him._

"They'll never touch you again. I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe with me."

The horrifying images had faded. Gray could hear two hearts beating and he found himself pressed against the Master's chest. He let his breath out and relaxed completely, concentrating on the sound of the hearts, the Master's voice and the gentle caresses.

"Feel better?" the Master asked at length.

"Yeah. A lot better."

"Good. Do you want to lie down for a bit?"

"No… I want to try again."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay…" the Master pulled himself up onto the bed again and sat with his feet on the floor. "Tell me what I can do to help."

Gray sat on the floor in front of him and pulled the Master's hands to the sides of his face. "I think if you're here from the beginning, being gentle, I'll be okay. I just need to take it slow."

"All right; let's give it a go."

The second attempt was much more successful. The Master's emergence was a helpful signal of where to leave off, and Gray finished the job with his hand as Katya had suggested. He didn't feel confident enough yet to try swallowing the ejaculate.

The Master sighed happily. "My eye is twitching," he observed.

"Is that good?"

"Yup. I don't know how that measures up to the average experience, but it was excellent as far as I'm concerned. I've only had a dozen or so blow jobs in my time… much less given them. Think I only tried once with Jack."

"I don't need to hear about that."

"Sorry. Here, the secretion's stopped." The Master pulled Gray down onto his chest and kissed him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why have two? I mean, you don't need two…"

"Why have two hearts?" the Master countered. "I'll tell you why: superior design. Look at it this way. Say you've got a garden hose and you just hold it and the water goes about two feet from the nozzle before it hits the ground, right? Then you put your thumb over the middle—what happens?"

"The stream splits and goes a lot farther."

"Exactly. You cover more ground and make it further. Much more likely to have a successful insemination."

"So, it's all about reproduction."

"Well, of course. If there were no need for reproduction, none of us would have a sex drive. That would be boring, don't you think?"

"I haven't thought about it much."

There was a knock on the door and the Master said "Come in" before Gray had time to react.

Jack and John entered the room and stopped short, taking in the scene.

"You know," John said, finding his voice first, "there are plenty of clothes in that closet. There's no need to share a suit."

"Well…" Jack added, "at least we know Gray wears the pants in this relationship."

Gray found his shirt and pulled it on, but the Master seemed unconcerned about being caught in nothing but an unbuttoned shirt.

"Just so you know, Jack," the Master said calmly, "you'll want to ask the help to change these sheets for you."

"Sick dog—what's wrong with your own bed?"

"My bed is further back in the suite, and we had company."

"Oho," said John, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Shaking things up, are we?"

Gray headed for the bathroom. Let the Master say what he wanted—it was time for a bath.

* * *

><p>"Where are we going?" John asked, knowing full well that he wouldn't get an answer.<p>

"It's a surprise. One last fling before the one last fling tonight."

"Okay, but can't I have a clue? Give me a couple of adjectives."

"Um… sexy and kinky."

John hugged Jack's arm. "Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Just what I wanted to hear. I can't wait."

"You're such a child."

"You love me anyway."

They reached a black door with "_Chez Claire_" written across it in pink. An armored guard stood beside it.

"Is it a courtesan?" John asked excitedly.

"Close. She's ours for up to two hours. Make the most of it."

"Names?" the guard asked.

"Harkness and Hart."

The guard opened the door. "Enjoy your visit."

John looked around the dimly lit room as they entered. Everything was black and pink, plushy and waist-height or lower. The wall space above doorknob-height was covered with risqué pictures of various species performing various acts…

"Love the atmosphere," John got out just before he spotted their hostess.

She was sprawled in front of a real-looking artificial fireplace on a rug made from the fur of some very large animal. Her curly hair had been immaculately trimmed. Her only garment was a short, hot pink skirt. When she gathered her limbs under her and stood on all fours, she looked somewhat humanoid, but still unmistakably…

"A poodle?!"

"That's right," the poodle said with a smile. "I'm Claire. You must be John."

"I must be dreaming." John stepped forward and took one of her furry, clawed hands to kiss. "You're one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."

"Thank you. Jack told me you have an attraction to poodles. I hope I fulfill your expectations."

"Just looking at you is a pleasure." John turned to give his partner a squeeze. "You're so wonderful."

"You're welcome," said Jack. "Do you want me to go or stay?"

"Do you wanna stay?"

"I'll stay if you want."

"Stay." John suddenly wondered if this command might be a faux pas in the present company, but Claire did not seem bothered.

"I hear that the canines you're used to are dimwitted creatures. I think you'll find that my IQ is as high as the average human's. Feel free to ask me any questions that will help to put you at ease."

"Thanks." John followed his hostess's lead and sat on the rug. She sat with her knees up and her hands on the floor in front of her as a normal dog would, the skirt just touching the floor to screen her privates from view. However, he had a glimpse of some bulges that he was quite sure did not comply with ordinary canine anatomy. _Good gumdrops, she's got breasts. Rows of gorgeous tits. I'm going to die happy._

"I have a question," said Jack. "Is your sense of smell better than a human's?"

"Definitely," was the answer. "However, it isn't quite as keen as that of most non-sentient canines."

"Can you see color?" asked John.

"Ordinary dogs are not colorblind as was once believed. Like them, I see color more muted than the average human does. I love pink because it's bright and happy."

"How long have you worked here?"

"I became an escort at the Now Gentlemen when I hit my prime at nine years old. I am now fourteen and going strong."

"Nine years old," John repeated. _How long is that in half-dog years?_

"May I ask your life expectancy?" asked Jack.

"My kind tend to live well into our thirties."

"That's impressive for a canine, but not very long in comparison to humans."

"It is difficult sometimes… the more canine side of my family is all dead and gone—I have nieces and nephews, but I have not become close to them because I know I will likely outlive most of them as well. On the other hand, being with my more human family threatens to depress me. I know that I cannot be with them to share the rest of their lives. So I tend to spend most of my time with hybrids like myself. I have a few close friends, I have my paying lovers, and that is enough."

John couldn't think of anything appropriate to say, so he asked another question. "Who does your hair? Does it take a long time?"

"I have my own private groomer. Every few weeks, she touches up my cut. It can take up to an hour, but usually less."

"That's not bad."

"No indeed. Now may I ask a little about you?"

"Of course."

"Your partner seems to be a full-blooded human and very masculine. You must have a very broad taste, do you not?"

"Yes, I do. So does Jack."

"We like exploration," Jack put in. "But we always gravitate back together."

John smiled and for the first time in decades he felt a slight blush coming on. _He's really in this one hundred percent. It's really me he wants._

"It sounds lovely. I enjoy having relations with many different species as well. That and my coming into heat only three times per year make it so I don't have to take counter measures against pregnancy very often.

"Now, what tone do you like for your sexual liaisons? Do you like very tender and romantic, rough and domineering, somewhere between the two…?"

"Jack of all trades, that's us. Though I particularly enjoy it rough. Still, whatever you're most comfortable with will be fine with me."

"That's very accommodating of you. Would you like to begin?"

"Yes, I would."

Claire crept across the floor with uncanny grace on all fours. She placed a hand on John's shoulder and licked his ear. "That's how my kind say hello," she said softly.

John felt as if someone had poured warm honey down his throat. He leaned forward to get at the shorn part of her ear. "Like this?"

"That's right." She pulled back one side of his coat and Jack took the other side. "It's a shame my mouth isn't quite suited to yours for kissing," she commented. "Perhaps in another generation or two we can correct that issue. But you'll find I have many other good uses for this mouth of mine." She put out her long, flat tongue to run it over John's lips.

"Oh, I'm sold. You don't have to try hard to impress me." The next time her tongue came his way, John opened his mouth and took it inside. Apparently the sight was enough to arouse Jack significantly—he could feel human hands creeping up under his shirt.

_This is going to be the best day of my life so far._

Claire withdrew her tongue and bent her head down to give John's neck alternating nips and licks. "Tell me if I bite too hard—I know humans are sensitive."

"It's perfect." John felt his erection bulging against his pants. He moved his fingers through the short, woolly hair on her neck and then slid them down over the longer hair on her chest.

Jack and Claire wordlessly combined efforts and got John's shirt off. Jack then relieved himself and his partner of their boots.

_Hands and mouths all over me… I don't want to wake up from this._

Then Claire put her arms around him and turned him away from her. He could feel the rows of nipples against his back. As she held him, Jack unfastened John's fly and stripped away his pants and shorts. He leaned down to put his mouth to work between John's legs.

John prided himself in his stamina, but today he wasted no time. He let Jack finish him quickly and then pulled him up for a suffocating kiss. The taste of semen from Jack's mouth made him feel drunk. He tore Jack's shirt open and worked his hands firmly over his chest, causing Jack to moan.

Jack shed his pants and pulled John down on top of him. When their groins came together, John had a sudden flashback to the night Jack had tortured him with tenderness. Then he felt Claire against his back again, her hands clasped firmly around him, her pelvis coming down on him again and again.

_So this is the true doggie style…._ Her claws were digging into his chest, her tongue sweeping the back of his neck, her thrusting matching pace with Jack's. _If Jack hadn't just sucked me off, I could so come again right now._

He felt Jack's warmth splash over his stomach and he bent to lick the Timelord secretion off his chest. Jack ran a shaky hand through John's hair and smiled hazily at him. "I'm good for now," he said softly. "Go get her."

Claire backed off of them and John turned toward her in time to see the poodle girl pulling off the short skirt. He could tell even in the dim light that she was moist and ready for him. Her nipples were all tight and erect. She lay back, suddenly seeming timid, and opened her arms to him.

He moved forward eagerly to first nuzzle the fluffy fur of her chest and then plant kisses on her teats. She let out a small whimper when he began to suck them one by one; reaching down as far as her long neck allowed, she licked his ear again.

He made his way further down, stroking her tail with one hand as he went. _I wonder what she'll taste like… like a human, or completely different?_ He gingerly touched his tongue to the clear fluid. _Hm. Tastes like… sex,_ he decided simply. He pulled at her tail and licked with more confidence, eliciting a whine from Claire. When he moved back she rolled onto all fours again, looking back at him with a slow blink. He pulled her tail to the side and mounted her, reaching around to clutch her breasts.

_I've been dreaming about this since that day on Earth… I finally get to shag a sentient poodle. Make it last._ He made long, slow thrusts. _Lord, she's strong… she's got to have at least half my weight on her._ But Claire made no sign of protest. She had her eyes closed and she was moving her body to his rhythm, allowing him to glide in and out steadily.

Finally it was time to step it up; he increased his pace and his force gradually until Claire gasped out "More." After that, he didn't hold back. When she climaxed, she uttered something like a small yelp. It was the finishing stroke to send a very happy John over the edge. They collapsed onto the soft fur mat, panting heavily.

He felt strong arms coming around him from behind and heard Jack's voice in his ear.

"How was that, tiger?"

"My god, it was so good."

"Satisfy your poodle craving?"

"Beautifully."

"Good."

"Did you enjoy the show?"

"Totally came watching you."

John grinned.

"We're almost there, partner."

* * *

><p><em>Like I said, kinky. Hope it wasn't too bad. I do appreciate that I haven't had to deal with flamers—seems that either no one was bothered, or they followed my skipping instructions. :p Thanks for all the reviews; please keep it up. I need to know your reactions to this stuff.<br>_


	54. Joining

_I think a few people are getting behind because I've been updating so quickly lately :p Oh, well. They'll enjoy having a couple to read at once.  
><em>

_Warnings: There's lime in this one... with a possible lemon aftertaste. xp Also a little DW spoiler, but it's kind of old news at this point, so it shouldn't be a big deal.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Fifty-four: Joining

* * *

><p>Gray watched the dancers moving together seamlessly. There were no poles tonight, but plenty of intimacy. He found himself just as interested in watching as he was in his food—that was new.<p>

_I'm changing. _He glanced around at his companions. _They're rubbing off on me. I think that's good… I hope it is._

"I think we made a good choice," Jack commented. "A little more subdued, more romantic…"

"We'll see how 'subdued' things are in bed tonight," John replied, grinning into his wine glass.

Gray recalled their conversation earlier that day—the Master had suggested that they have some quiet entertainment over dinner and then spend their last night in the "Country Bed."

"Why's it called the Country Bed?" John had asked.

"Because it's so big you could found a country on it. There's plenty of room for all four of us."

"Should we work out logistics?"

"I'd like to make something clear, since this is the last night," Jack put in. "Once we're joined, I don't want any intercourse going on between John and Gray, or the Master and me. Not in this little lifetime we're sharing. I don't want to do someone who's doing my brother. So… tonight's the last fling and that's it."

"But you don't mind if the Master and I do each other?" John asked. "Just to clarify," he added with a smirk.

"Long as it's not happening constantly behind my back, no. It's far enough removed that I wouldn't mind once in a while. And the four of us can all sleep _by_ each other whenever."

"That's fair." John shot a look at the Master, who snorted. "So, I guess I wanna be by Gray, then. At least part of the time."

"And I'd like to be by Jack," said the Master.

"Okay, so Gray, me, you, Jack?"

"We could just shift about during the night… that's probably going to happen anyway."

They had discussed the sleeping arrangements a bit longer, but Gray hadn't paid much attention. It didn't matter much where he was placed—he would still be within a few feet of everyone.

_Will it be weird to see Jack having sex so close…? Of course it will… but will it be bad? Will I freak out? Or will I like it too much?_

"Everything okay?"

Gray blinked at the Master. _I guess I've been quiet a long time…_ "Yeah."

The Master took his hand under the table. "Here, you use your knife and I'll use your fork."

_Is he joking?_ Gray took up his knife with his free hand and the Master stabbed a piece of fish for him to slice off. When it was free, he lifted it to Gray's mouth.

"You two are so cute," John said with a sappy smile.

* * *

><p>After dinner they said good night to the dancers and followed Deverill to the room containing the Country Bed.<p>

"Thanks for everything, Deverill," John said, taking their host in his arms to give him a lasting kiss goodbye.

"My pleasure," Deverill said pleasantly. "You've been wonderful patrons. I hope you can make another stay sometime—perhaps for your anniversary."

John looked excitedly at Jack.

"We'll see," Jack told him firmly. "It's a year off—plenty of time to think about it."

Deverill gave them a bow. "Enjoy your last night."

Everyone thanked him. Then he was gone and they went inside.

Off to the left was a small drink bar area. To the right was the Country Bed. A shelf above the head of the bed held a dozen varieties of condoms. The bed itself was even bigger than Gray had imagined. It was clothed in royal blue sheets and blankets.

Before anyone could say anything, John took a running start and jumped onto the bed with a wild laugh. "This is perfect! It's so huge…"

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes. "Eager much? Wait for the rest of us."

"I'll dim the lights," the Master said, heading for the wall switches.

"Not _too_ dim," said John. "Gotta be able to see the condom labels."

Gray climbed onto the edge of the bed and waited, feeling somewhat awkward. He felt John's arms encircle him from behind.

"Hey, you. How've you been? Haven't seen so much of you lately."

"I'm fine," Gray said automatically. _I hope the lights are dim enough that Jack can't see me clearly. I don't think he knows… not that he'll be looking at me anyway. It'll be fine._

"Fine? Care to expound on that a bit?"

He shrugged. "I've been figuring some stuff out. Mostly that's been good, I think… I'm fine."

All four of them were on the bed now. Gray could hear Jack and the Master whispering nearby, but he couldn't catch any words.

"Would you let me help you figure some stuff out?" John rested one hand lightly on Gray's thigh.

Gray's mind raced. _I offered him this a long time ago. I shouldn't turn him down now. Besides, John's always been pretty good to me. I can trust him. It will be good for me to let him in._ "Okay," he said at last.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay—if I go too far, just tell me to stop. Or if you really like something, let me know and I'll keep it up." He tilted his head and kissed Gray's cheek. "May I help you undress?"

_I hate it so much when someone else takes my clothes away. I don't want that. But I've been able to put up with some of it from the Master—maybe it's something I just need to practice. I need to stop being afraid._ He swallowed and forced his answer out. "Yes."

John stayed behind Gray, reaching around to unfasten and pull away the clothing as if his hands were Gray's own.

_This isn't so bad… the Reavers never did things this way. _His heart was pounding by the time they were down to their shorts, but Gray still didn't want to interrupt John's progress. He did his best to block out the sounds of pleasure coming from the other side of the bed. _I made it this far. I'll be fine._

John kissed Gray's neck and slowly moved up to his ear. Gray shivered. He let John pull him back onto the bed, concentrating on how gently John's hands moved him.

"Still doing okay?" John whispered, stroking Gray's chest lightly.

"Yes." Gray put one hand over John's and followed his movement. _If I stay with him it's not too different from touching myself._

Then John began to kiss and lick his way over Gray's chest. Gray braced himself, but when John's tongue touched his nipple he couldn't help jerking away.

"Easy," John said soothingly.

"Sorry…"

"It's okay." John reached over to rub Gray's arm on the far side. "Was that something new to you?"

"No… something bad. I got a really bad bite there one time. Thought the bastard was going to tear it off."

"I see. I'm sorry I took you by surprise. Let's see what we can do, shall we?"

_No… leave it alone._ But Gray was tired of being afraid. "Okay. But please…"

"It'll be fine; you can trust me. I won't hurt you." John began moving his hand back over Gray's chest, brushing his nipples occasionally before concentrating on the one nearer him. His fingers moved around and around, always gentle, always tightening the circle.

Gray put his hand over John's again. _I'm okay. He's never hurt me; he won't hurt me now._

John's hand settled and only his thumb moved now, back and forth over the nipple. Gray was breathing harder, his heart pounding under their hands.

_It's only John. He's doing this to help me._

John pressed his thumb down lightly and held it in place as he leaned in to move his mouth over Gray's chest. Gray felt a tiny chill as the moisture on his chest evaporated.

"It's okay," John murmured. "It's going to be fine." He pulled his thumb back and moved his fingertips slowly as he touched Gray's nipple with his lips. "I love you, Gray."

Finally, Gray's body seemed to make up its mind. He pulled John closer until he could feel a hardening bulge against his leg. This time when he felt John's tongue it was a welcome sensation. _Breathe. I never thought I could _like_ this… but I want it._ Feeling bold, he pulled back John's shorts and then his own.

John gave Gray a gentle tug and he rolled over half on top of him, his groin pressed against John's hip. From his position underneath, John closed his lips over Gray's nipple and sucked gently.

Gray heard himself utter a small moan. His hips seemed to move of their own accord. He pulled back to center himself over John and kissed him. They slid against one another, their tongues mimicking the action going on below.

When that feeling like an electric charge hit him, Gray lost track of everything else. He might have made a lot of noise or been completely silent. He wasn't sure when John's climax hit. When he came back to reality he felt weak and limp and wet. He became aware of John stroking his back slowly. And then the fact that the bed was shaking. And then the noises coming from the other side.

_Oh, god… I don't want to hear. I don't want to see._ He burrowed against John's neck and into the pillow, keeping his eyes closed. It did no good. He was shaking.

John pulled a blanket up over him. "Here, it's okay. What's wrong?"

Someone groaned, the rhythmic shaking of the bed slowed to a halt, and all was still except for heavy breathing.

"I…" Gray squeezed John hard, trying to control the trembling. "I'm sorry. It's just…" _Damn. Why can't I do this? Am I jealous again? God, who am I jealous of?_

He pulled away and slid off the bed, pulling his shorts back up. "I need something to drink." He went to the mini bar and grabbed the first glass and bottle he found. He poured half a glass and took a swallow. _Ugh, that's hard. Too fast._ He coughed.

"Easy, mate." John came up beside him and began searching labels by the dim light. "Here, try this lager. Nice and full, but not too hard on you."

_He should know… I bet John's tried every kind of booze there is._ Gray got a new glass and filled it half full. _That's better… doesn't burn._ "Thanks," he said.

"Drink break?" the Master asked, approaching with Jack close behind.

"Yup. Pick your poison," John answered.

"Is there any tequila?"

"Bound to be…"

Jack stood next to Gray while the others rummaged around the cabinets. "Are you doing okay?" he asked quietly.

Gray avoided looking in Jack's direction. Even in the dim light he had seen that Jack had on only a pair of compression shorts—and the Master, like John, hadn't bothered putting anything back on. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"What's wrong?"

_Dammit. Can't he just pretend I'm telling the truth?_ "Nothing's wrong." He braced himself as Jack moved closer and touched his arm.

"Did John do something…?" he asked quietly.

"No. No, it was fine." _Please, let it go._

"Er… we're gonna be back over here," the Master said, moving back toward the bed with John following.

_Don't go. Don't leave me here with him._

"Come on, Gray. We can talk about anything, remember? Please tell me what's wrong."

Gray took another drink and a few deep breaths. "I just don't want to see you… I don't know what I should be feeling right now."

"Is it because you don't want me touching your partner?"

"I don't know." _Is that it? Or do I hate the idea of someone being closer to Jack than I am?_ "I want to be with you. But I'm afraid I'll do something wrong."

Jack gently took the glass out of Gray's hand and set it aside. "There's nothing we can't work through," he said firmly. He stepped forward to hold Gray against him.

_Jack—what if I hurt you? I don't want to do anything to ruin what we've worked out so far._ But to his relief, Gray found himself calming slowly instead of becoming excited at the contact. He rested his head on Jack's shoulder and gingerly put his arms around him.

"See, it's okay. Everything will be fine." Jack stroked Gray's hair. "We were all so busy and excited about tonight, I don't think any of us bothered to ask if you liked the plan or not."

"I could have said something if I didn't like it. I just figured I'd let the rest of you decide everything because I don't have any experience."

"We still should have asked. Do you want to go back to our rooms?"

"No; it's fine."

"Fine. But what do you want?"

Gray felt a tear slip out of the corner of his eye and run down onto Jack's shoulder. _Don't lose it now._ He held Jack tighter to keep from shivering. The air was starting to feel chilly on his skin. "I want to sleep by you."

"Okay. We can do that." Jack gave him a squeeze. Then he called to the others, "Okay, you two—pick a side. Gray and I get the middle."

Gray looked at the others in the dim light, worried that they would be annoyed. But everything seemed fine. John moved to the far side of the bed and the Master stayed on the other side. Jack climbed up first and waited for Gray to settle in his arms. Then they drew the curtains and pulled the covers up.

John sighed. "This is cozy."

Gray felt the Master's hand on his back and felt reassured. He kept one arm around Jack. _I shouldn't be allowed to be close to him like this. I've been so bad to him and he's been so good to me._ "I'm sorry, Jack," he whispered.

"It's okay." Jack kissed Gray's forehead. "I forgave you. Let's be done with the apologies, all right? It's over. You can let it go."

"I'll try."

"Good."

_I guess it's probably bad to keep saying I'm sorry… it just makes Jack think about it again, and he doesn't want to. I have to try not to think about it, too. Maybe the Master can help me put the worst of it out of my mind._ "I love you."

Jack touched his face in the darkness and leaned in to kiss Gray's lips softly. "I love you, too. You're so precious to me."

The Master's arm slipped up between them to rest on Gray's chest. "Good night, love."

Gray felt tears in his eyes again, but this time it was all right. _It feels so warm and comfortable and safe. Maybe this is what I wanted all along. Everything's okay now. Now I think I'm ready._

* * *

><p>"Okay, we've landed…. Everyone all right?"<p>

"I'm fine," said Simon.

"Fine," River and Dair echoed.

"Good. Oh, excellent, we made it back to Poosh and we're in plenty of time for the joining. Let's all get changed. Baths might do us good, too. Do I look as dirty as you lot do?"

They looked at each other and then chorused "Yes."

"Baths it is." The Doctor hurried through the Tardis. _Imagine the Master going domestic on me. He's got them job interviews and housing all lined up. Is it awful of me to be annoyed that things have gone so smoothly? Yup, pretty sure it is. I need to be happy for them. Or look happy, at the very least._

He knew he should be genuinely happy. In addition to many years of happiness for his friends, he had the idea of not being hit on by any of them to look forward to. _I'm just going to miss them all. I probably won't have River and Simon much longer, and they'll likely take Dair with them. I'll be alone again._

Clean and in clothes fresh from the wardrobe, the Doctor and his companions found their way to the small building where the joining ceremony was to take place. There was only one section of chairs in the center of the main room, rather than having an aisle down the middle. Only a few guests were there ahead of them: Mickey and Martha Smith were there, along with a few people the Doctor didn't recognize.

"You must be the best man," an usher said to the Doctor.

"Oh… am I?"

"I was told to look out for you. Please step into the back."

The Doctor left the others and followed the usher to the room where Jack and Gray were waiting for the ceremony to begin. They were dressed in brown pinstriped tuxedos.

"Nice suits."

"We wanted it to be clear that you were part of the wedding party," Gray explained. "Seemed like the best way to do it."

"I see."

"Glad you made it on time."

"Yes, I was a bit worried about that, but it worked out just right."

"Here." Jack passed a small box to the Doctor. "The rings are in there. Hand 'em over when it's time. From left to right they're mine, the Master's, John's and Gray's."

"Okay. So… what sort of wedding is this, exactly?"

"Mishmash. Human, Timelord, local color. Whatever."

A bell sounded above the door.

"That's the signal," Jack reported. "You first, Doctor. Just go out and stand next to the man… actually, I'm not sure if he's a 'he' or a 'both'… but anyway, the little bluish guy out there."

"Okay." The Doctor did as he was told and led the way out to the little congregation. John and the Master came out of a door on the other side of the room and met them in the middle.

"Friends and family," the Pooshite official began, "These four men have come before you to be joined as life partners. Master and Gray, please step forward."

The Master and Gray moved toward the official, who produced a strip of white cloth and bound it around their hands.

"This cloth represents the bond between you; the knots signify your commitment to each other. May that bond never be broken, and that commitment never come undone. Is permission granted for these two to be joined?"

Jack took a step forward. "I consent and gladly give," he said before moving back into place.

It took the Doctor a moment to realize that the Master's glare in his direction meant that he was supposed to take part as well. _Oh… Guess I'm closest he's got to family. _He stepped forward to repeat, "I consent and gladly give."

"Please present the rings now. These unbroken circles represent the permanency of this relationship."

The Doctor got out the Master's and Gray's rings and managed to give the right one to each of them.

"If anyone has a problem with these two being joined, speak up now or keep it to yourself." There was a short pause during which the Pooshite glowered around the room. "The partners will now say their vows."

As the Master helped Gray to put his ring on, he said "I promise to always stand by you, to protect you, and to love you. You will be my first and last thought of every day."

The Doctor was impressed. He had never expected to hear words of such devotion coming from this particular Timelord.

"I promise to follow you to the end of my days," Gray answered. "I will always love and honor you."

"By the authority of my joining license granted by the administration of the Found Moon of Poosh, this couple is hereby officially joined for all legal intents and purposes."

The Master kissed Gray gently and grinned at him. They moved to the side and Jack and John came forward.

"Jack and John do not have elder guardians here to give them away, so we're skipping to the rings."

_Informal little fellow, isn't he?_ the Doctor thought as he got out Jack's and John's rings.

"If anyone has a problem with these two being joined, speak up now or keep it to yourself."

Jack glanced back at the Doctor. The Doctor gave him a barely perceptible nod.

"The partners will now say their vows."

"Jack, I asked to go first because I figured you'd say everything I wanted to say," John began.

Jack smiled in amusement.

"I know we've had a rough time of it… we've both got our faults. Well, I've got a lot of them…"

The witnesses chuckled nervously.

"But I've loved you almost since we met. You're the only one I've loved like this. For whatever time I have left, I will love you and only you." John pushed Jack's ring all the way onto his finger.

Jack put John's ring over his fingertip. "You're right that we've had a lot of ups and downs, and I'm sure we'll have more. But I promise I won't ever leave you. I'll try to put you first in my life from now on. I will care for you and treasure you forever."

"So, like I said before, these two are legally joined," the official announced. "Congratulations to both couples. Should they ever wish to see this joining undone, they must do so through the proper channels. No further marriages or joinings are permitted until this one is undone or an agreement is signed by both partners and the new person…"

The Doctor suddenly wondered what the divorce rate was on Poosh. _Probably like Old Earth Vegas…_

Jack dipped John to kiss him and the Doctor thought he heard him say "You're the wife" and John reply "I'll be a good wife."

The onlookers clapped and followed the wedding party outside where they grouped around to offer congratulations.

"Never thought I'd see you settle down," Mickey told Jack.

"Well, after you two tied the knot, what choice did I have?" Jack answered with a wink at Martha. "I would take you kids home, but I have a honeymoon to go on. The Doctor will take you, though."

"I will?" the Doctor asked.

"Good," said Mickey. "Tardis travel beats vortex manipulator any day."

"Well… that's true."

"Doctor, this is Deverill," Jack said, introducing a young, good-looking man. "He took care of us through the bachelor party."

"I don't want to know. I mean, nice to meet you."

Deverill shook the Doctor's hand. "Good to meet you, too. If you ever want to book your own bachelor party, keep the Now Gentlemen in mind."

"I won't forget." The Doctor shook hands with John and wished him well. Then he moved on to Gray and gave him a hug.

"Thanks for everything," Gray said. "I owe you a lot."

"I'm glad I could help. And I'm glad things turned out well for you. I really am."

"We're going to see you now and then, right?"

"Yes, I suppose. Now and then." He didn't want to admit it, but the thought cheered him. _This isn't the end. I'll just come back and see them every couple of years like when I went back to see Jack._ "Good luck. Oh, and if the Master starts behaving badly or anything, have Jack contact me and I'll just come back and whip him into shape, all right?"

Gray smiled. "Okay."

"You'll do what?" the Master asked, having obviously caught only the last few words.

"I was just saying I'll come back and see you now and then."

"Oh, I see." The Master pulled the Doctor into his arms. "You'd better come see us. Gotta have Timelord conversation now and then." He kissed the Doctor's neck and whispered, "I'll miss you, Sigma."

"I'll miss you, too. Behave yourself."

Time to say goodbye to Jack. _It's not a big deal. I'll see him soon._ The Doctor went back to his immortal friend.

"The Master's sent me all the information about where you'll be staying and the jobs you're looking into," he said. "It sounds like things should go smoothly."

"Yeah. You'll come see us after we've settled in, right?"

"Yes. Maybe not right away, but soon. I promise."

"Okay." Jack hugged the Doctor hard. "I love you."

"I love you, too. I'm very happy for you." He let Jack give him a moderate kiss. "Keep an eye on the Master for me, won't you?"

"Definitely. And you take care of yourself."

"I will." The Doctor stepped back to let the others talk. When no one was looking his way, he walked away quietly behind the nearest building.

_That's it. I've said goodbye. Now I need to get out of here before someone tries to call me back._ He began to run, picking up speed slowly until he could see the Tardis again. Only then did he slow to a walk, quite out of breath.

"Nothing to run from," he admonished himself. _Nothing to run to, either._

* * *

><p>Nothing on the scanner. Then dark sky with distant stars. Then, very slowly, something else came into view.<p>

"We seem to be in orbit," the Doctor said. They had just dropped Mickey and Martha off and dematerialized once again.

"Around what? Poosh?" Simon asked.

"Could be." As another object appeared on the scanner, the Doctor suddenly recognized his surroundings while River analyzed the readings on the console. "Yes, it is Poosh, or rather the moon we just left."

The scanner suddenly went grainy and there was a piercing metallic echo as if someone had put a microphone near a speaker.

"Hello," a female voice said. "Can anyone hear me?"

"Hello," the Doctor answered uncertainly. "Who's this?"

"Before I tell you that, I need to know if I've reached the Tardis."

"Yes, you have. This is the Doctor speaking."

"Oh, Doctor!" the voice said excitedly. "That's lovely. Now, before we continue, is anyone else with you? I need to know that you are the only one who can hear me. It's vitally important."

The Doctor looked around.

"Is it a trick?" asked Simon.

"I think I recognize the voice," the Doctor said. "If I'm right, then it's perfectly fine. For now, anyway. No telling what she'll get us into, though."

"Oh, that's very unfair, Doctor," the voice protested. They heard some light bumping and scraping and then, "why won't the picture work? Can't see you. Can you see me?"

"We'll wait in the hall," Simon decided. "Come on." He led the others out and shut the doors behind them.

"There's no picture," the Doctor said, "but I think that's just as well. You're not supposed to see me in this regeneration. Not yet."

"You know who I am, then?"

"I think I'd know your voice anywhere, River Song."

* * *

><p><em>Happy New Year, everyone! Make my day and leave a review. Probably just one or two more chapters after this. We'll see how the characters spin it. <em>


	55. Passage of Time

_This is the second to last chapter. Thanks for all the encouragement along the way.  
><em>

_Warning: character death. It's not a sudden omg-how-could-you-do-this-to-me death, but still. Also a little Torchwood spoiler.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<strong>

Fifty-five: Passage of Time

* * *

><p>"So, we have met. That's lovely."<p>

"Just the once, but it was quite memorable."

"I'm sure it was." Her voice sounded coy. "Now, I'd love to spend a lot of time beating about the bush with you, but I have a lot of explaining to do. Have you met anyone by the name of Tam?"

"Yes." The Doctor felt his heart rate increase. "River and Simon Tam are onboard now."

"Perfect. Do you know who they are?"

"Not for certain. Simon is a young doctor and River is a teenaged girl who was captured by the government to be turned into a weapon…"

"No, you don't know who they are. So I'll explain briefly. I can't give you details because knowing you, you'll go rushing off to try to change events that need to stay in place for all of this to work out right."

The Doctor gritted his teeth. "Fine."

"Love the voice, by the way. Very sexy."

"Go on."

"Well, it's rather sophisticated and—"

"Go on with the _explaining of the situation, _not the _description of my voice!"_ the Doctor exclaimed impatiently.

"Even better when you're ruffled," River laughed. "So, is Jenny with you?"

"No. She left with the Meddler."

"Good. Perfect. I'm calling from the Meddler's TARDIS, actually. But that doesn't really matter. Here's the story. After they left, Jenny and the Meddler had lots of adventures. Once in a while, they gave you a call and you saw them many times and all was well. They got married after a couple of years, and—"

"Hey!" the Doctor exclaimed, "What the hell happened to no spoilers?!"

"I'm sorry, but I have to tell you this. You'd figure it out anyway, and this is much easier; trust me."

"Never again," the Doctor muttered.

"They had a son who was quite brilliant, and then they had a daughter who made that brilliant son look stupid by comparison."

"Simon and River."

"You've heard this story before?"

"What happened? Why didn't Jenny and the Meddler raise them?" The Doctor braced himself for the worst news he'd ever been given.

"Don't get ahead of me. Jenny and the Meddler _did_ raise them. They just don't remember that they're Jenny and the Meddler. They believe they are Regan and Gabriel Tam, members of the socialite and loyal citizens of the Alliance."

"What?"

"Let me back up a bit. Simon was born with mostly Timelord physicality. Two hearts, great stamina, excellent immune system, etcetera. River was born with a very human body but a very Timelord mind. Medical tests confirmed that she was human, but with certain abnormalities, particularly in her brain and nervous system. She was able to learn anything she was taught, and to retain what she learned in an extensive long-term memory. She also showed an aptitude for telepathy as your granddaughter Susan did."

"I told you about Susan?"

"You told me about a lot of things, sweetie. Anyway, a situation arose… like I said, I can't give you details. The main thing is that the family was forced to go into hiding. Since the Meddler's TARDIS didn't recognize River as a Timelord, they left her as she was. But Jenny, the Meddler and Simon all had their DNA altered. They became completely human and contained their Timelord selves in pocket watches."

"But Simon and River didn't recognize Jenny and the Meddler…"

"Well they each regenerated at least once before—"

"So, she _can_ regenerate. We thought she could, but I'm glad to hear it. How did she learn?"

"Now that I won't spoil," River said firmly. "That's another story entirely. All you need to know is this: At first, I was able to keep contact with them and instate myself as the grandmother figure. I was supposed to let them know when the crisis had passed, but I was taken back to prison and other complications delayed me. They assumed that I died years ago. So, you've got to find Simon's watch and get him to open it. He was very young when they did it, but he'll remember enough to know what's going on. Then you can take him and River back to open their parents' watches. Understand?"

"Right. Okay. I think."

"It'll be fine. Just don't louse it up."

"Oh, thanks. I needed that."

River chuckled. "It's been lovely chatting, but I've got to go."

"Wait—there's more I want to ask you."

"It'll have to wait until next time, my dear—there's a lot I want to ask you, too, but you don't know enough yet. Ta!"

And before the Doctor could say anything else, she broke the connection. He leaned on the console for a minute or two. _So, Simon and River are my grandchildren, but through Jenny, not through River Song. Still… she knew my name in the library. I know I've got a lot more to do with her._

At last, he straightened and went to open the doors to the passageway. "Simon," he called, "you can come back now."

The others returned, Simon and Dair looking curious and River staring at the Doctor intently.

"Simon, have you got a pocket watch?"

"A pocket watch?" he repeated. "Uh… no, I don't think so."

The Doctor turned a questioning look on River.

"Yes, he does," River confirmed.

"I do?"

River began patting down Simon's pockets. "It was in your other clothes, wasn't it? Before we changed for the joining. I'll find it." She hurried off.

"Oh yeah… I guess I do have one," Simon realized. "Funny, I never think about it. I was just in a habit of taking it with me everywhere… but I never use it. I think it's broken."

"Where did you get it?"

"I can't remember. I think my father gave it to me. Actually, I almost think he had it made for me. But it was so long ago. I could be wrong. Why does it matter?"

"Because there's something you've forgotten all about, and it's time to remember. You'll understand if you look inside the watch."

Simon looked skeptical, but he didn't ask any more questions.

Soon River returned and offered the watch to the Doctor. He looked it over. It certainly looked newer than most of the Gallifreyan watches he had seen. The symbols on the cover were bright and clear. "Here you are, Simon—go ahead and open it."

Simon took the watch and stared at it as if he hadn't seen it for a long time. "I can't believe I forgot all about it. But still… it's just a watch." He fingered the catch absent-mindedly.

"Go on," the Doctor said softly.

"Open it," said River, sounding impatient.

_She knows what's coming because she hears it in my thoughts… she wants him to remember._

_Click._ The watch sprang open and Simon's eyes grew wide as a glowing steam-like substance floated out of it. He seemed to absorb the vapor through his face and was left blinking in momentary confusion.

"Simon?" River asked breathlessly.

He turned toward his sister slowly. "My name isn't Simon," he said. "It's Sigma. You were just a baby when we went into hiding. That's why you don't remember." He looked up at the Doctor. "Thank you, Doctor—it's time to go home now, isn't it?"

"Yes," he answered. "I think it's high time. Do you know where your father's TARDIS is?"

"Maybe in one of his warehouses. There are lots of places he could hide something like that. On the other hand… it could be hidden somewhere at home if the perception filter were cranked up."

"Let's get you back to your house, then. Your mum and dad are in for a bit of a surprise."

* * *

><p>It was strange to say the least—to the Doctor, only a few weeks had passed since he said goodbye to Jenny and the Meddler. But to them, over thirty years had gone by.<p>

"Why isn't River Song here?" the Meddler asked in concern. "Did something go wrong?"

"She was detained, I'm afraid. But nothing to worry about," the Doctor assured them.

"I'm glad to hear it," said Jenny. She stepped away from her children. "So, how do I look? Be honest."

"Like… like a grown-up woman."

"I should think so. I've got grown children to prove it. Is that all?"

The Doctor looked her over. Jenny looked to him more like one of the "proper" Gallifreyans now—more like a wise Time lady than an impulsive teenager. "I'll always look back to that wild blonde girl, of course… but I'm terribly proud of you now."

Jenny smiled and moved forward to give him a squeeze. "Now, who's this other companion of yours… oh, it's Dair, isn't it? I haven't thought of him in ages."

"Just as he was when you left. Er, shouldn't you be explaining what happened to River? She was only a baby when all of this happened…"

"She can keep up—she's been reading all our minds as we've remembered everything."

"Isn't she likely to go into shock?"

River smiled at the Doctor. "I'm fine… grandpa."

Simon laughed loudly.

The Meddler put his arms around River. "I'm so sorry we didn't realize you were in trouble… humans can be so thick-headed. We weren't ourselves."

"It's okay. Simon knew."

"Yes. Thank God."

"There is something you can do for me now, though."

"Oh?"

River pointed at Dair. "I want him."

Jenny sighed. "Always bringing strays home… it was only a matter of time before it went from animals to people…"

"I don't just want to keep him. I want him to be mine, and I want to be his."

Jenny and the Meddler looked at each other, full of concern.

"Now you know how I felt," the Doctor muttered.

"But sweetheart," Jenny said, "Dair is…"

"He's better," River said, seeing where Jenny's thought was going long before she could express it. "He just needs someone to take care of him. I can do it. I already have."

"What does Dair want?" asked the Meddler.

"Fair point," said the Doctor. They all looked at Dair.

Dair looked down at the floor. "Now that Jack is John's… I want to be River's. That's all I want."

River raised an eyebrow at her father. "Satisfied?" She waited, listening to more thoughts. Then she turned to the Doctor. "They're thinking about Timelords as a race. They're thinking maybe I should marry someone more like us. What do you think?"

When neither parent denied her statements, the Doctor answered slowly, "I think that the best way for us to preserve the Timelord lineage is to mix our blood with humans' blood. Jenny is made from human tissue and my DNA. My granddaughter Susan married a human. Back when I was young, such things would have been considered an abomination, but now I think it's our best hope. Humans are more like us than any other species, whether we like to admit it or not. They are the most compatible. If we wait around for more Timelords to show up and just go on inbreeding amongst ourselves, we're likely to do more damage to our line than good. So… on those grounds, I have no disapproval of your choice."

"And on other grounds?"

"Other than that, if you're certain that you will be happy with Dair as long as you are together, then together is where you ought to be."

Triumphant, River turned a smile on Jenny. Jenny nodded in resolution. "Very well—chief Timelord has spoken. But I insist on a long engagement. I want to get to know our son-in-law before it's all said and done. He needs to show that he'll be a proper husband and not just your plaything."

"Dearest…" the Meddler started.

"Oh, hush," said Jenny. "She's grown up. She knows exactly what I mean." She took River by the arm, offered her other arm to Dair and led them into the next room.

The Doctor smiled. "She's changed so much… but she's still Jenny."

"Oh, yes," the Meddler agreed.

"So, you named your son Sigma?"

"After you, of course. When we went into hiding, we all used different names except for River. I guess he's more used to Simon, now."

"I am," Simon agreed. "But that's okay. Maybe I'll keep using it and not tell anyone my real name until I get married, like you did."

"Have anyone in mind?"

"Actually…"

The Meddler sighed. "Don't tell your mother yet. She's already going to be difficult to live with, talking about River and Dair. Who is it, though?"

"Do you remember Kaylee? The mechanic from the _Serenity?"_

"Vaguely… that was a long time ago to me, you know."

"Well, that's her. I want to marry her."

"Have you told her so?"

"Sort of…"

The Meddler shook his head sadly. "Doctor, you'd better come back in a week or so and take Simon to see his true love or nothing will ever come of it."

"Why don't we just have Mal bring the ship over? River will want to see the others, too."

"Sounds like a good idea," said the Doctor. "I'll look in on you before long, though."

* * *

><p>From time to time, before long… it all adds up eventually. The Doctor traveled alone for a while, borrowed a grandchild for a few adventures, stopped in to see how Jack and the others were getting along. They grew and changed so fast. Dair and River, Simon and Kaylee had a double wedding. Jack got a job as a royal bodyguard. The Master became employed by the Pooshite law enforcement to recover information from hypnotized criminals. John had the famous Poosh operation and became a "both." Simon and Kaylee had a kid. Jack and John had a kid. Gray and the Master had a kid through a surrogate… the Doctor couldn't remember if it was half the Master's DNA, half Gray's, or if they'd found a way to get both into it—and he didn't want to ask. Jack and John had another kid. River and Dair had a kid. Or did Simon and Kaylee have another one first? He couldn't keep track.<p>

The more that happened, the less inclined he was to visit. They had their lives. Whole lives. He felt less like a part of the family and more like an intruder each time he saw them. Once, he nearly ran into one of his future regenerations when he went to visit Jenny. After that incident, he always called before going.

River Song didn't contact him again, and he supposed she wouldn't until he had regenerated. _Does that mean I'm almost done? I've been almost done for so long now… borrowed time. Maybe I should be bolder, take more chances… it's time now, isn't it?_

But bold was one thing, and reckless was another. He went on from world to world, from one adventure to another. From time to time he considered taking on a companion for longer than a week or two. But he kept thinking to himself that in a few years he'd have a great-grandchild that was ready.

Counting it all up, it had only been a few years to him. But he couldn't help skipping ahead. It wasn't in his nature to follow any story in a slow, linear way. And then one day he got a call he'd been dreading.

"Jack… you don't look well."

"I know. It's John." Jack took his time, his eyes on the screen not quite meeting the Doctor's. "He had a heart attack last night."

The Doctor wanted to say something comforting, but nothing came to him.

"He's been drifting in and out of consciousness. He can't really talk, but he can write. He wanted to see you… to say thanks and to—to say goodbye."

It was a fight to keep his expression calm. _Please don't be so broken, Jack. You knew this would come. We all knew it. You have to be strong for him._ "I'm not good with goodbyes," he managed.

"I know. But I thought… if you could say something to him now, over the VM. Just anything. And then later, in a couple of days when it's over, you can come see me. Because I'm really going to need you."

_If I don't agree, he's going to fall apart in front of me._ "Okay. I'll talk to him."

"Thank you."

He waited while Jack repositioned his wrist strap so the Doctor could see John. One of the boys was standing behind the bed—the older one, probably. So hard to keep track. John looked thin and pale and… old. Of course he had been aging all along, and the Doctor had observed it with each visit, but it was so pronounced now. So many lines and so little hair and such weakness. _He's so frail. Is this the man who led us against the Reavers? The one who tackled Jack and pushed him down on the ground outside my Tardis… I hate humans. They always get old._

The heavy eyelids were barely open. John's thin lips pulled back slightly in a wan smile.

"Hello, John," the Doctor said quietly. "I can read your mind like River used to. You're thinking I look the same as ever, and it's indecent of me."

John's smile grew slightly wider.

"You're also sorry you can't get up and give me a proper hello, but that's all right. I'm not one to stand on ceremony. And I expect you wanted to thank me for something or other… helping with the Reaver mission, or with looking after Gray, or with getting Jack back from the Reavers, or some other such thing. Well, whatever it is, think nothing of it."

John winked. Spot-on.

"Maybe you want to apologize for one or two things, too. But I don't think of your shortcomings when I think of you. I want you to know that. When I think of Captain John Hart, I think of a man who loved Jack more than he loved his own life. A friend like that doesn't come along often—not as often even as once in a lifetime. Jack is damn lucky to have you, and you've made me very happy for him. So, all I have to say to you is, thank you and well done."

John painstakingly mouthed "thank you" and followed it up with the sign to be sure it got across. The Doctor saw a tear slip from his eye.

_And, time to pull out. Five, four…_ The Doctor gave John a salute. _Three, two…_ He turned off the scanner with his sonic screwdriver. _One._ His own tears spilled over. _I hate humans. They always die._

* * *

><p>Jack closed his VM and leaned down to kiss John's cheek. Then he looked up at his son. "You want some time with Dad?"<p>

The young man shook his head. "It's your turn. You haven't been alone with him since yesterday."

"Okay. Make some tea or something. Gray and the Master will be back over soon."

John was writing on his notepad again. Jack waited until he was done and read the message.

_You've died thousands of times. What's it like?_

"I've told you what it's like."

_Everything?_

Jack thought it over carefully. "I guess maybe not everything."

_?_

"Well… I told you it was just nothingness. And then I told you about later, when Owen and I talked about it and it seemed like there was something there in the dark. Something waiting to… I don't know. Catch you, or eat you or something."

_Real encouraging._

Jack laughed. "I know, I know."

_Were there other people in there with you?_

"No. I don't think so, anyway. There was something moving, though. I guess other people could have been there, too, but you couldn't hear them or see them or feel them… I'm not sure exactly how to describe the movement. Guess maybe all your senses get boiled down to one big fuzzy one when you're dead."

_The sixth sense: the big fuzzy one._

"Exactly."

_Fun. Anything else?_

"Maybe… It's just a theory, though."

_I love a good theory._

"Well, I've got this idea that there's not just something _in_ the dark; there's something _beyond_ it, too."

_Like what?_

"I don't know. Heaven? Hell? Both? Neither? Maybe something we've never thought of. But I think it's another plane. A different dimension. And I think maybe the reason I've never made it there is because whatever pulls people through knows that I'm not done yet—that I'm not dead for the final time yet."

_Light at the end of the tunnel?_

"Eh… not exactly. But I guess that's sort of the same idea."

_You sound like the Doctor._

"Haha. That's not such a bad thing. Anyway… I don't know if I'm right. I just get that feeling."

_The big fuzzy sense again?_

Jack grinned, but he felt like crying, too. _God, I'm going to miss him so much._ "Yeah, that's the one. I don't know what kind of form I'd have on the other side—these bodies don't go through, I'm sure. They stay here."

_Yup. They rot away._

"Maybe we'll just be atoms, or a collection of ideas. There's no way to know."

_Well, at this point that sounds really freeing. And I get to try it first. Only one problem._

"What's that?"

_How many bloody thousand years do I have to wait for you to get there?_

"No idea, I'm afraid." _Keep it together,_ Jack told himself. He stroked John's face gently. "I'll try not to keep you waiting too long, partner."

_I love you so much. I wish we didn't have to be apart._

Jack's breath hitched; a tear escaped. "I know. I love you, too. You'll be strong for me, won't you?"

_I'll do anything for you._

* * *

><p>Days passed and soon John was gone. Jack took him to the Lotus Nebula for burial in a plot reserved for extremely privileged persons. He and the children mourned. Then they went their separate ways and the Doctor finally came.<p>

They didn't talk much. Even when the Master and Gray were there, everyone was very quiet. The Doctor spent the first night sitting up with the Master in the living room, not talking. The second night, Jack took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom. They still didn't talk. The Doctor lay down beside him and dosed lightly off and on until morning.

The third night, Jack broke the silence. He held the Doctor tightly and poured out his soul in a steady stream of tears. He didn't remember anything he said afterward—just vague ideas. He didn't remember what the Doctor answered either, except some encouragement to let everything out.

In a few more days, Jack was ready to let him go. He still had his brother, and he intended to enjoy what time they had left together. The Master suggested that Jack move into his and Gray's house, and Jack accepted.

The children visited less and less frequently. They had their own lives now, and had trouble identifying with their ageless parent. Especially that second son—fate had certainly played out its crooked sense of humor when that set of DNA came out…

Gray lived to a ripe old age, but Jack knew that time was running out. The Doctor hadn't visited for over two years. He thought about calling, but he put it off. _Just live every day to the fullest._

* * *

><p>There was no getting around how old Gray was. <em>I shouldn't have waited so long to visit,<em> the Doctor thought guiltily. Gray had been confined to a hoverchair the last time he saw him, but now just getting him into it was a difficult job. Jack and the Master cared for him seamlessly together, and none of them talked about it… but the Doctor knew they were all thinking about it constantly.

In the evening, the Doctor said, "Jack, why don't you and the Master go have dinner out and I'll keep Gray company here?" _It's probably been ages since they've been able to go anywhere without him._

"That's a good idea," Gray rasped.

"Are you sure?" the Master asked, rubbing Gray's hand lightly.

"Sure, I'm sure. I don't get company often—you guys should let me hog him a while."

Jack kissed Gray's white hair. "Okay, buddy. We'll be back before bedtime."

"Bring me some dessert."

"Maybe a little. You're not supposed to have much sugar…"

"Oh…" Gray stuck his tongue out.

The Doctor smiled. _He's sure changed… almost like he's getting back the childhood he missed. It's nice that he's not all grim and serious anymore._

Jack and the Master got their coats and headed out. The Doctor thought they looked more cheerful than they had when he arrived. The evening out would do them good.

"Doctor," Gray said, stiffly turning his wheelchair toward the Timelord.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for doing that."

"Oh, it's no trouble."

"I keep trying to get them to loosen up a little, but they can't stop thinking about how weak I'm getting. I know they think about it a lot because they never talk about it. If they only thought of it now and then, they'd mention it a bit, you know?"

The Doctor nodded.

"Now, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. But I know I haven't got long. Please don't try to stop me from saying this; it's very important."

"All right."

"If you go on like you have been, I don't think I'll be here the next time you visit."

_I know. You're probably right. But I can't stand this. I can't stand to see you grow any older. I don't want to see you on your deathbed like John. Please don't ask me to._

"It's all right," Gray said firmly. "I don't want you to mention this to the others, but I'll say goodbye to you tonight, and then we'll have that out of the way. You won't ever have to feel guilty about it."

Maybe it shouldn't have surprised him—Gray was a guilt expert. Still, the Doctor couldn't think of anything to say.

"You were always good to me," Gray went on. "Even when you were scolding me for something—everything you did was for my own good. You offered me friendship when most people wouldn't. You're one of the best friends I've ever had. I caused you a lot of trouble, and I'm sorry for that…"

"All in the past," the Doctor said quickly. "All mended now."

Gray smiled. "I knew you'd say that. Jack said he got his forgiveness from you. Anyway… I feel very honored to have known you. And it would mean a lot to me for you to remember me kindly."

"Always. I'll never forget you."

"Thank you. You know, those ten or so years I spent in captivity have made me appreciate the other eighty."

"You're ninety now? Good lord…"

"At least. Don't look it, do I?"

"Not a day over eighty-five."

Gray smiled. "You'll take care of them for me, won't you? Jack and Koschei?"

"I will; I promise."

"Good. Now, I think we should order a pizza."

The Doctor blinked at the abrupt change in topic. "Are you allowed to have that?"

"Ask Jack when they get back. Do you like pepperoni and sausage? We should get a meat lover's…"

* * *

><p><em>It's a good thing I decided not to do any JennyRiver... that would have ruined this scheme. :p So, was it too sappy? Any tears? Did you laugh the whole way through? There'll be one more chapter after this, and I promise it's not all depressing. ^^ _


	56. The Only Time The Last Time

_This is the last chapter. It's been a fun ride and lots of fun hearing from all of you. I hope the story makes it to 200 reviews; that would be cool to see. I hope this ending satisfies.  
><em>

_Warning: Doctor Who spoiler. If you haven't watched Gridlock yet, you might want to do that first... actually, that whole season. But especially Gridlock and the ones with Martha, Jack and the Master.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Spare Wheel<br>**

Fifty-six: The Only Time / The Last Time

* * *

><p>The next time the Tardis brought the Doctor to Poosh, Gray was gone, and had been for weeks.<p>

"You didn't call," the Doctor said quietly.

_You didn't come,_ Jack thought. But there was no point in saying it. _No point in anything. _"We buried him by Mom's grave, like he wanted."

Jack and Gray had found their mother together years back. She hadn't lived long after. The Doctor had never asked for the details.

"We've liquidated our assets and pooled them," said the Master. "All we kept was the house. A tenant's waiting to move in once we leave. Are you ready to have us in the Tardis again?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm very ready."

"Good. I'll send a message to the tenant, we'll get packed and leave right away."

"That's fine. While you're packing, I want to make one short trip. I'll be right back."

"If you're sure you can land in the same month twice."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Of course I can." He landed just five minutes after leaving.

"All set?" Jack asked him.

"Yes. Just had to take care of something."

"Something you couldn't do when we were along?"

"Remember that thing I told you to remember years ago?"

Jack frowned and thought back. _It must have been before we came to Poosh. _He tried to hear the Doctor's voice telling him to remember something. Then it came back to him. "Up and to the left?"

"Yes. Don't forget that. Because I just took care of it. So… if it does apply to your situation one day, you'd just better remember."

"Okay… I'll make an effort."

They moved their belongings into the Tardis.

"Anyone care where we go?" the Doctor asked.

"Somewhere exciting," said the Master.

"Don't care," said Jack.

"All right. Um… before we get going, there's a favor I want to ask you both."

Jack looked up, trying to guess what this could be about.

"We're listening," said the Master.

"I've given this a lot of thought," the Doctor went on slowly. "I don't want you to feel obligated to do this for me—only if you want to. Sometime soon, well, probably not right away, but soon-_ish_, I'd like both of you to sleep with me."

For a moment there was silence. Then the Master said, "Did you mean to say 'with'? Cause you said with, not by."

"Yes… I'm well aware."

Jack felt as if he were stuck in some sort of time lag. Nothing seemed to move. Everything felt surreal. "You… really want…?"

"Both of us?" The Master asked incredulously. "At the same time?"

"Yes. I think that would be best."

"Well, I won't say you're wrong, but… are you sure?"

The Doctor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Like I said, I've given it a lot of thought. I don't want to start an ongoing threesome with you two, but I do want to do this soon, before… just soon. If you think it's a bad idea, I'll listen to your opinion."

"Er… may I talk to you privately?"

"I think we can all speak openly."

"Okay… how long has it been?"

"What?"

"It's been decades since Jack saved you from regenerating—how long was it before that?"

"What?"

"How long since you've had real sex?"

Jack almost laughed at the Doctor's face.

"_What?!"_

"You heard me. I'll tell you how long it's been for me—five and a half years. And never mind who with."

"Oh, don't say these things…"

"You just said we could speak openly!"

"Yes, but…" The Doctor went slightly red.

_I forgot how cute he is when he blushes,_ Jack thought.

"Shall I tell you how long it's been since I had sexual stimulation of any sort?"

"No!" the Doctor said quickly. "Stop it."

"Sure you don't want to talk privately?"

"Look… it's been a while, I'll give you that. But that's not why I want to do it. And maybe it will be difficult for me—I know it will. But for one thing, I think it likely that I'm going to get married in my next regeneration, so it's sort of my turn for a bachelor party. And for another thing, I've often thought about trying this, but the time wasn't right. If I don't do it now, the chance may never come again. I don't know that… I can't know for certain. But if you're willing, I want to take this chance." The Doctor looked up at Jack. "If this isn't the right time for either of you, I understand."

"Let's take some time to think about it," the Master suggested.

Jack agreed. "We'll talk it over and get back to you."

"All right." The Doctor turned back to the Tardis console and began the dematerialization sequence.

"Well, that wasn't awkward at all," said the Master.

* * *

><p>They didn't talk about Gray that night. They had talked about him a lot in the last couple of weeks. They would talk about him again, of course, but for now neither of them could take any more.<p>

"What do you think about sleeping with the Doctor?" the Master asked.

"It's been a long time since I entertained the idea."

"I know; me, too. I'm very different now than I was then. I don't know if he realizes how much I've changed."

"He isn't used to it, but I think he knows. I've changed, but not so drastically, I think. I'm still attracted to him, but after being devoted to one person for so long, it seems weird to think about having a fling."

"I agree."

Jack moved closer to the Master and put his arm around him. "Are you still attracted to him?"

"Yes… maybe not in the same way, though."

"And what about me? Are you still attracted to me?"

"Yes. Again… not sure it's the same." The Master rubbed Jack's back.

"Should we find out? Or is this too soon?"

"I don't know… we can try."

"Okay." Jack sat up a little to kiss the Master. He let the Master's tongue slip between his lips. It had been a long time since he had let himself even think about this kind of contact. He had become used to the idea that the Master was Gray's partner and off-limits.

Slowly, old memories began stirring up. Kissing the Master, teaching him to dance, being afraid of him, being reassured by him, teaching him to frot, teaching him how to safely have intercourse with another male… loving him. Of course, Jack had never stopped loving the Master. _It just changed for a while…_

The Master began kissing his way down Jack's neck. Jack ran his hands up the Master's arms and down his chest.

…_I think it wants to change back._

"Jack…" the Master sounded hesitant. "Everything okay so far?"

"Everything's fine." He pulled the Master closer. "I love you."

The Master squeezed Jack so tight he couldn't breathe. "I love you, too."

They continued on, gaining confidence.

_I didn't realize I missed him. I was so happy with John, there wasn't room for anything else. And then taking care of Gray was all I lived for._

* * *

><p>"We've decided," the Master said. "The two of us will sleep with you."<p>

"You choose now to tell me?!"

"We do have a Viking army after us," Jack pointed out. "A little tact would have been good."

"I'm just giving him something to look forward to to make sure he bloody well gets us out of here alive!"

"I've got an idea. Let's circle around back to the boats and steal them."

"Brilliant. But I'm sure they left someone on guard."

"We can take them. Who's with me?" Jack waited. "You're supposed to say 'I.'"

"Pleeease let me have my laser screwdriver?" the Master begged.

"No," said the Doctor. "We can't go killing people—you might upset the course of history."

"Bugger history—they're going to kill us!"

"Maybe if we explain this was all a misunderstanding…"

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "That girl definitely kissed me first. I was minding my own business—how was I to know she was engaged to that big sore loser guy?"

The Doctor skidded to a halt. The others soon caught up to him and saw that they were at the edge of a fifteen-foot cliff.

"The fall won't kill us," the Doctor said, "but that water's going to be frightfully cold."

The sound of angry voices and clashing metal wasn't far behind them.

"I don't think we have much choice," said Jack.

"After you, love," said the Master.

"See you in hell." Jack took the Doctor's hand and jumped off the ledge.

* * *

><p>"Well. I've had enough of the Vikings for a few centuries, I think," the Doctor said, pulling his soft dressing gown tighter around him.<p>

The Master sipped his cocoa. "I agree. Earth history has too many misunderstandings in it—let's go somewhere else next time."

"I don't mind Earth," said Jack. "But maybe somewhere warmer?"

"All right. Warmer. Maybe Australia."

"That's more like it."

"But bed, for starters," the Master added. "I suddenly feel like shagging someone. Like maybe the person who set our course for Iceland."

"I didn't set course for Iceland—I just told the Tardis somewhere around northern Europe, that's all…"

"Love which part of his declaration you chose to quibble with," Jack said, raising one eyebrow.

"Good point," said the Master. He gulped the last of his drink and stood. "Come on. We doing this in your room?"

"No… lord, no. Um… yours?"

"Fine with me."

"Last one there bottoms first," Jack said, jumping toward the passageway.

"Oi, that's not fair!" the Doctor shouted.

The Master took the Doctor's arm. "Don't worry. We'll get there at the same time—he can't do us both at once. Though, knowing him, he'd try."

"I wouldn't put it past him," the Doctor muttered.

When they arrived, Jack was already sprawled across the Master's bed. "Lame," he said when he saw them come in together.

"Jack, this is his first threesome—you're gonna scare him," the Master chided.

"True. I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>"No teasing," the Doctor said.<p>

Jack thought he sounded genuinely worried. "We won't tease you," he said, unbuttoning the Doctor's pajamas. "Not in that way, anyway."

The Master snorted.

"And can you keep the crude jokes to a minimum?"

Jack pulled the pajama shirt open and slipped his arms around the Doctor. "Just say if it's too much, okay?"

"I will."

Jack moved slowly, listening intently for changes in the Doctor's breathing, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat. He felt the Master's hands creep up under his shirt and leaned back from the Doctor long enough to get it off.

"Try to give us a little space at first," Jack told the Master. "If you arouse me too much I'm going to come on too strong."

"All right." The Master kissed Jack's temple and moved away. "Just don't go too slowly… I want in on this, too."

"I never told you this," the Doctor said quietly, "but I've always found you a bit attractive… for a human, of course."

"Really?"

"Sure. Didn't you notice the way I flirted with you soon after we met?"

"Yeah… it only took me about fifty cheeky lines before you came back with one."

The Doctor smiled. "I'd never flirted much with a guy before—needed some careful practice. See, your style is to put as many pickup lines out there as possible and hope someone bites eventually."

"Which they always do eventually," Jack cut in.

"But my style is to wait until I've got a feel for a person and then hit them with stuff I'm sure they'll respond to."

"Guess it worked."

"Guess it did."

"So, did you enjoy our first kiss?"

"It was a pleasant surprise. Didn't have much chance to think about it at the time, though."

The Master sighed. "You guys ever gonna get your trousers off?"

"Way to kill the mood," Jack snapped. "I'm going to have to punish you later."

"Looking forward to it."

Jack kissed the Doctor's neck and stroked his chest. "How's this?"

"Good." The Doctor held the back of Jack's neck, pulling him closer. He put his mouth close to Jack's ear and breathed, "I love you."

_Shoot, I was trying not to get aroused too fast…_ Jack moved lower to kiss the Doctor's chest. _Maybe if I arouse him quickly, too…_

"Slowly, Jack."

_Damn, there goes that idea. Okay… I want this to be a good experience for all of us. I can go slow. _He forced himself to move at what seemed like a painfully slow pace until he could hear the Doctor's breath becoming labored and could feel his hearts pounding in his chest. Then he started to pull the pajama pants away and met with no resistance. _So far, so good._ He shed his own pants and eased the Doctor back into the Master's waiting arms.

"Doing all right?" the Master asked.

"Yes."

"That's good." The Master began massaging the Doctor's chest while Jack relieved him of his shorts. "I half expected you to be a real sissy about this…"

"Oh, shut up."

Jack laid a kiss on the Doctor's hip and got a small gasp in response. He moved his lips slowly over skin and short hair until he reached the base of the Doctor's hardening member. He could hear the Master whispering something with uncharacteristic tenderness. When he looked up, he saw him pressing his mouth to the Doctor's chest. He resumed his own progress as the Doctor began to shake with each breath and a sweat broke out over his body.

Jack had expected to be blinded by his own passion by this time, but his head was remarkably clear. He put his tongue out with deliberation, gradually encouraging the Doctor to a full erection. _Good man. Almost there._ Just after he closed his mouth, the dragon came to meet him. _This is a hell of a mouthful. I like it._ He fought back fiercely, giving attention to both heads until the fire-breathing began. Then it was all he could do to swallow fast enough to avoid gagging. He heard the Doctor's long, quiet moan. He came away licking his lips.

He crawled up to the Doctor's head and lay with his right leg and heart overlapping the Doctor's. "You taste good."

"Thanks," the Doctor said faintly.

"I'm so hard, I'm in pain."

"Sorry." The Doctor kissed him. "Oh, is that what I taste like?"

Jack chuckled. "Mhm."

"You didn't know?" said the Master. "Oh, dear. Oh, dear, dear…"

Ignoring him, the Doctor slid his hand over Jack's body and down between his legs. "Here. Let the Doctor take the pain away."

"I think that's the best come-on I've heard from you," said Jack.

"I think it's the _only_ come-on I've heard from him," muttered the Master.

Jack lay back and closed his eyes. He concentrated on the fingers wrapping around him gently, stroking him and caressing him. It was clear that the Doctor knew what to do, but also that he was somewhat out of practice. Somehow that seemed like a good thing to Jack. He returned the Doctor's kisses passionately, but always took care to keep in control. He wanted this to last.

When the Doctor began to quicken his pace Jack braced himself, but he knew he was running out of time. He pulled the Timelord's head down to his chest and the Doctor granted his request, taking Jack's nipple between his teeth. Jack moaned and twined his fingers through the Doctor's messy hair. His breath came in gasps, matching rhythm with the sucking and squeezing.

His formerly clear mind was drowning in hot liquid now. _The Doctor… my Doctor… has my penis in his hand, and my nipple in his mouth. Oh. My. God._ Then came the volcanic eruption and a scream such as no one had dragged out of him for many years. When he found his way back to the surface he heard himself whispering, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," the Doctor answered. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Hell, no. It was perfect."

* * *

><p>"Is it my turn yet?" the Master demanded.<p>

The Doctor gave Jack's forehead a kiss and rolled toward the Master. "All right. What do you want?"

"What I've always wanted."

After a moment's silence, Jack muttered "Timelord faceoff in bed…"

"You can have me."

Jack's eyes widened, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Understand," the Master said as he leaned over the Doctor, "it's not going to be the conquering move that it would have been a century ago."

"I know. But you still want to feel that power."

"I do." The Master kissed the Doctor slowly, letting him choose to enter his mouth first. Then he moved away to position himself between the Doctor's legs.

"Take it slow," Jack warned, retrieving a pair of condoms from the bedside table.

"I know." The Master put a condom over two of his fingers and began to probe gently.

Jack put his arms around the Doctor. "Have you ever felt this before?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"How do you feel about it?"

"Er… a bit nervous. And curious." He shivered and grunted as the Master inserted two fingers at once. "It's… a little strange."

Jack moved closer to whisper so the Master couldn't hear. He suspected Jack was offering to rescue the Doctor if he changed his mind about going all the way.

"Ready for three?"

"Sure, why not?" the Doctor said with faux nonchalance. He began to sweat and pant again.

Jack kissed the Doctor's temple and rubbed his shoulder reassuringly. "Doing okay?"

"Yes. Just stay with me."

"I will."

"You're doing fine," the Master encouraged him. He paused to discard the first condom and put on the second. "Here comes the real thing—I'll take it very slow."

"Okay."

The Master eased forward until he found his target and pressed inside. _Lord, he's so much tighter than Jack…_ He checked himself when he heard the Doctor groan. _I'm the first one here. The first to penetrate the Doctor. There ought to be a prize for that._ It was very difficult to keep still.

"Still doing okay up there?"

"Yeah… think so."

"All right, I'm going to come in further. Hang on." Very gradually, he came forward and eased back, building up the Doctor's tolerance. His concentration on the Doctor's experience kept him from losing control. "You're doing great. Jack, you want to give a little stimulation?"

Jack obligingly licked the Doctor's ear and fondled his nipples, producing a series of moans.

This appetizing sight sent a lot of heat to the Master's groin. He pushed a little deeper. "Does it feel good?"

"Yes," the Doctor gasped.

The Master ran his fingers over the Doctor's erection. "You like this?"

"God, yes…" He sounded desperate now.

_It's time._ The Master closed his fingers into a fist and pumped it up and down as he began to thrust deeper and deeper. "Say my name."

"Master."

Jack moved in quickly and pushed his tongue into the Doctor's dry mouth, lending him some moisture.

"Say it again."

"Master."

_I'm shagging the effing Doctor… and I'm not letting him go until he screams._ The Master pushed harder and faster. _So much heat. Come on, already._ Their emergences came at almost the same moment.

The Doctor was moaning with almost every breath now, and his hips rocked to oppose the hand giving him pleasure. Then he cried out suddenly.

"Koschei!"

The Master's vision began to blur, but he could still make out the Doctor's ejaculate shooting over his chest and face and some of it even landing on Jack. He groaned as he felt his own release spilling out. Slick, pulsating heat…

"Oh, god…" He crawled to the side and laid his feverish head against the Doctor's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Sigma," he said. "I should have been gentler."

"It's okay…"

"I'm so sorry." He kissed the Doctor's face. His eyes stung.

"It's okay, Kos." The Doctor reached up and stroked his hair. "It was a bit rough, but I'm still glad we did it. I forgive you. And I love you." He gasped suddenly.

The Master looked down to see that Jack was licking the semen off the Doctor's chest. He laughed. "Save some for me."

Between them, they got the Doctor clean. Then the Master moved on to Jack, with the Doctor's help.

"So, do you want any more?" Jack asked the Doctor.

"It's been lovely, but I'm absolutely spent."

"Okay." Jack put his arm over the Doctor, his hand resting over the right heart, and closed his eyes. "Good night, Dragon."

"Good night, love."

The Master laid his hand on the Doctor's left heart. "Good night, Sigma," he whispered. "I love you."

* * *

><p>"What's that?"<p>

"It's the Face of Boe. It's all right. Come say hello. And this is Hame. She's a cat—don't worry. He's the one that saved you, not me."

"My lord gave his life to save the city," said Hame. "And now he's dying."

"No. Don't say that—not old Boe. Plenty of life left."

The Face of Boe finally marshaled enough strength to speak. "It's good to breathe the air once more."

"Who is he?" the girl, Martha, asked.

"I don't even know," said the Doctor. "Legend says the Face of Boe has lived for billions of years… That right? You're not about to give up now."

"Everything has its time. You know that, old friend… better than most."

"The legend says more," said Hame.

"Don't," the Doctor cut in. "There's no need for that."

"It says that the Face of Boe will speak his final secret… to a traveler."

"Yeah, but not yet. Who needs secrets, eh?"

"I have seen so much," the Face of Boe said slowly, his eyes staring deep, but not at his surroundings. "Perhaps too much. I am the last of my kind… as you are the last of yours, Doctor."

"That's why we have to survive—both of us." the Doctor's calm tone had an edge of desperation. "Don't go."

"I must. But know this, Timelord. You are not alone." As he drew one last deep breath, something came back to him—something he had heard so long ago.

His large, ancient eyes rose to the left over the dilapidated walls around him until they came to rest on a shadowed niche where a familiar figure stood in the darkness. In that moment, the figure moved forward so the light struck his face.

It was the Doctor—in his tenth incarnation, like the one on the floor, but older. There were tears on his face and he silently mouthed three words.

He closed his eyes slowly. _Thank you, my friend. If there is another side to that darkness, I'll wait for you there. Until then, live on. Find happiness. Be loved in return._

__**The End  
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* * *

><p><em>Now you may feel a little gypped... maybe you wanted to hear about Jack and Gray finding their mother, and whatever happened to the Firefly crew, and what about Jack's bodyguard job, and what about the Master working with the authorities, and what about those KIDS of Jack and John's and the others...? Well. I might write about some of those things later. But this story was mainly about Jack and the Doctor, why in my opinion they are both perfect for each other and doomed not to be together, and about finding joy and peace in spite of things not working out perfectly in every detail.<br>_

_Is Jack the Face of Boe in this story? Answer: Probably. The Doctor Who show has given that answer to us... all signs point to it as being fact, but they have left plenty of room for doubt, so I tried to leave a little, too. This Boe does not **have** to be Jack, but he most likely is. And that's why Jack had to remember to look up and to the left. In case you missed that. xp  
><em>

_Now, go tell me what you thought. ^^  
><em>


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